January 6, 2025 • 23 mins
As we ring in 2025, we chat about feminist goals and things to celebrate.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Anny and Samantha.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Welcome to stuff I never told you, Protection by Heart Radio.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
And Happy New Year, Smandy fam and Annie thank you
to you as well. And we are back recording for
the first time in twenty twenty five. WHOA that number
seems so foreign.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yeah, we're in.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
The middle of the twenty twenties, and in my head
we're still just at the beginning.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
You're stuck in the past.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Very much so. Is this what happens is with aging
where you don't feel like you're aging, so therefore time
just stops. That's where I am in life. Hope you
are keeping warm, because damn is cold, y'all. Annie and
I are looking like we are in the middle of
like Antarctica essentially, with like hoodies up and beanies on
(01:07):
and so many things because we are cold. This is Georgia.
I know for many of y'all you're in the middle
of it as well. And I hope you're keeping warm
during this arctic freeze that this I guess happening. Supposedly
we might get snow. I don't know if that is true.
I would like a little snow, that would be nice,
(01:29):
A little Yeah. I say this as someone who works
from home, so I know that I'm privileged in that way.
But yeah, it's cold, I'm cold, and I saw Kansas
I've got I don't know why. My TikTok is flooded
with Kansas information and they're all they're in the middle
like a pretty dire like snowstorm. I hope y'all are okay, Yeah,
(01:50):
let us know what's going on over there. Yeah, but
I say I'm somewhat prepared, I guess, And this is
all right now I'm currently talking about the US. I
haven't looked beyond. I'm sure other people have been aready
affected by everything that's going on. But I will say
I do have my electric blanket, four pairs of booties
slash slippers. Yeah, two of those are boot addition like
(02:10):
house slippers cozy.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
No, I'm like, I don't know where this came from.
But okay, I do know where it came from Christmas,
Thanks parents. I also have a warm Judge dog that
gets especially cuddly during the cold days. It is all
about survival. She doesn't really want to cuddle, she just
wants my body heat. I'll think it. I'm needy. And
(02:33):
with that, we thought we would take a look at
some of the advice on how to begin this year
with some feminists, resolutions or goals as you might put it,
I guess instead of saying resolutions, because we don't love
that word typically. Of course. You know, we've talked about
that before. How often these traditions for the New Years
(02:54):
often put women in a place of hopelessness and self doubt.
So we don't want to harp on that. We've talked
about how that is not healthy and this whole level
of like being perfect or being this better self. Eh,
it's for the birds, and it's really kind of setting
yourself up to fail. But it's also a time of reflection,
(03:17):
whether we want to or not. You know, it's just
that kind of timing. You know, you look back on
what's happened, think about how the things that you how
many things that you wish you could change, not necessarily
about yourself personally, but like maybe the world, maybe the world,
I say, But with that, before we start, Annie, how
was your New Year's.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
It was fine, It was good. It was strange because
New Year's and Christmas were Wednesdays. Yeah, it was like
the middle of the week, and so and I maybe
this should be one of my goal goals is to
actually take time off. Because of that, I wasn't like
(04:01):
I had to work around it, so I don't know.
It was one of those things where it kind of
like passed and then I had to go back and
do get back to work, Like yeah, but I did
have I got to hang out with a lot of
my friends more than once, which is we don't get
to see each other that often, so it was cool
to hang out with them, and I made my traditional
(04:23):
meal and that was really good, did all my traditions around,
watching Star Wars and stuff. It was great in that way.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Great, yeah, all yeah. We ended up spending our New
Years with my partner's family, so this is the first
time I think we spent it outside of just me
and him. One of the reasons is because I think
I've talked about this before. The New Year's around My
neighborhood is full of guns. Shoot a lot of guns here,
(04:53):
which is really funny because yes, that is kind of
a stereotype of the US and then of Atlanta. But
I'm into so you know, there's that. But and I
don't own a gun. I've never used their fire a gun.
But all that to say, is there people are trigger
happy for the New Year's and it's scares that of me.
So we were not here for that, which was kind
(05:13):
of great. Instead, we were in Florida with his family
and it was lovely. We all stayed up till midnight cheers,
and then I went immediately to bed because I'm like, yeah,
I'm tired of why am I up this late? I
did make collars, like from scratch myself black eyed peas
because I would like, I think that's such a Southern thing.
(05:34):
Not that that his family's not Southern, they are, but
like they don't do those types of traditions, and I'm like, no,
we have to do these traditions. I don't know what
you're talking about, not that it's going to help or anything,
but just feels like it needs to be done. So
I did do that.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Kudos to me.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
The colors were really good. I was very proud of those.
But again, like I said, we don't necessarily love resolutions.
But do you have any like to do things or
goals on your list this year? Any take time off?
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Take time off would be a good one. I think.
I know I've talked about this before. I used to
be really big into like I have all these things
I want to accomplish, and this year it's been kind
of moving this way for a couple of years. But
like my mom asked me, boy, what are your resolutions,
I was like, I'm going. My resolution is to make
(06:24):
it to the next day. I keep going because, yeah,
I thought. I think it also kind of relates to
the recent happy hour we did about not knowing what
time it is anymore right that it does feel more. Yeah,
I should take more time off. That's a good one.
I should. I need to. I need to sit down
(06:46):
and think about this clearly.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
I haven't. I'm on you just now.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
No, it's fine. I mean I should have already, but
I think it would be to maybe be okay with
like some days is not gonna be okay. And I'll
think about other specific things, like okay, I have writing
goals and stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Oh yeah, Oh, so we'll come back then because I'm
also going to do things for the lunar New Years,
which you know, I'm really big into have been for
the past few years, which we're gonna do a whole
conversation on that. But with that, I'll ask you then
how about that we'll let you said it for the
lunar frame. Okay, I think on it. You got you
(07:32):
got a couple of weeks before we come background. Yeah,
for me, I would say going to the dentist, but
not only going to the dentist, because I have been going.
I will say, I do go to the dentist to
get it cleaning and such, and then like the X
rays and do all of that, But the amount of
work that has to be done on my teeth. Orphan
kid here literally that had a lot of like malnutrition
(07:55):
as a child ritually affected my teeth. And I did
have a specialist, but like everything got pushed back till
I got a permanent teeth be my own insurance. My
parents are like, I can't, we can't afford this. Fair enough,
y'all fair enough because they have four kids, and this
one was like, I have thousands and thousands of dollars
of work for my teeth. I'll let to say, I'm
(08:15):
gonna do it this year. I'm gonna start it this year.
Okay with our insurance, I'm gonna start it this year.
Find someone that does a financial plan anyway, that's one
of the goals, at the very least, starting and then
the other one is just to try to keep it
pseudo together, so have I'm okay with having a few
(08:35):
bad days, but not having consistently bad days, So that's
the other goal. I'm feeling they'll be fair enough. Right.
So with that, if you, like Annie, are looking for
(08:58):
some motivations on how to do some goal setting, here's
some helpful, helpful ideas for a feminist resolutions or maybe
feminist goals, we'll just say it that way. And this
one that's actually from the Women's Fund Armenia. So I
feel like they have a whole different level of conversation
in this at which I'm like, yeah, we are really privileged,
(09:20):
but it's still like still global, it is still late
for everyone. And this was created in twenty twenty three
in preparation for twenty twenty three, so little dated, but
it still stands. It still stands. I also looked at
take upspace, theapy dot com, who has a whole thing
that they have like workbooks if you need it to
(09:41):
go look into feminist goal setting and about how not
to set yourself up for failure literally talking about as
we talked about previously, how a lot of these things
are about perfectionism and teaching women that they're not perfect.
If they're not perfect, they're not good enough. And we
don't like that conversation. No, no, no, we talk about
trying to really do some things that benefit us as people,
(10:03):
as humans, and as activists on all realms. So thanks
to those two sites, and of course we've kind of
blended our own sage advice. I'm in my mid forties now,
any I think I can give you advice now right Whether
you should take them, I don't know, but I'm gonna
give you that advice anyway. Here we go, so one
(10:25):
support other women and connect and create a good community.
I think that's so important, especially right now, to remember
that you're not alone, because it can feel isolating. There's
a lot of things happening. Avian flu. Annie. You know
some things about av and flu, don't you.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
It's terrible. Don't recommend.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Zero zero, do not recommend. Yeah, so that things like
that are going around, But with that, we need one
another in these really kind of scary times. And I
say scary because I feel like I'll wake up to
more bad news. We're not so great news sometimes, and
maybe it's because we are so connected to the Internet
(11:10):
and they see things on an international level, which is
really good on one hand, but also really scary on
the other. So having good community and being able to
support each other is something that is very important, something
that you should look into. If you don't have a
good community seeking it out, it could be us. We
can be your communities. We love you. Support businesses owned
(11:33):
by the marginalized peoples and communities. I think that's something
that we need to really really focus on, especially in
the next years to come. There's a lot of things
happening we don't know, financially, tear us whatever, whatnot, all
these rumors that are swirling about again with the impending doom,
and during that time, we need to support those who
(11:54):
are in need. And uh, just as a reminder that
the best way to be an activist sometimes it's just
using your money in the correct places, you know what
I mean, do research that I'm pointing at myself for
that because I need a lot of research because you know,
things like we talked about this before, and you all
have sent us some great, really great information and sites
(12:16):
keep doing that. But like et see when we talked
about that that was originally supposed to be for small
business owners and such. It's not always and you have
to do some deep dive and research to see who
you're buying from because oftentimes they've been infiltrated by corporations. Yeah, anyway,
with that, moving on, educate yourself, ask hard questions, have
(12:39):
a conversation about some really hard topics, things that make
you uncomfortable. Be willing to educate yourself. Google is still there, bias,
but you know, find that information. It's good to learn things.
Learn and even embrace the word No. You've gotten better
(13:01):
in the last two years, last five years, I've gotten better.
You've gotten better, I've gotten better.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
I think this is what I get hung up on though,
because I feel like I overcorrected, because my final resolution
between before the pandemic of twenty twenty twenty was stop
going out so much, basically learn to say no. And
then in the pandemic happened, and now it's like I've overcorrected,
and I don't want to make anything to go back
(13:27):
the other way, because I'm afraid I'll fall back into
my bad habits.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
All right, So for you find your middle ground, there
we go. That's goal number two. For you've got this.
We've got this. Another thing. Learn from your body and
watch for ques on when you need to rest, when
you need to recover, and when you need to go
to a doctor. Everybody, just say, I feel like a
(13:53):
lot of us, not all of us, but a lot
of us, especially when it comes to women in marginalist
people are constantly told to suck it up, so therefore,
or we are afraid we're not going to be believed
or any of those things, or because we have so
much to do, we ignore signs that our bodies, like, hey,
you're in pain for a reason, maybe you should go
see a professional. Listen to your body. I'm just yelling
(14:15):
at people. Take this with love. Take this with love,
is it? Take this from your auntie, your sister, your
older sister. Here, I got you. Listen this with luck.
Celebrate your progress, even as again learning just just learning
to listen to your body or learning to slow down.
(14:36):
Celebrate that you've become self aware. Hey, that's a huge step.
That's a huge step. Also site note, because I'm getting
this from TikTok, also so much social media. Just remember,
being self aware is noting the positives of yourself just
as much as the things that you want to work on.
(14:56):
In yourself, like that's me. I'm self aware of some
of most of my flaws. Like mainly about my flaws,
I don't quite I'm not quite self aware of the
good things half the time. Sometimes I can, like I
know I can dance, Yeah, come see me dance, But
I don't think I'm confident enough to actually dance dance,
which I might try to do this year. I think
(15:17):
that's gonna be the hobby. I'm gonna. I'm gonna try
to try to pick up some choreography. I'm gonna do it.
I'm mighta do it. Damn it may break something, but
that's okay.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Moving on.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Uh And with some of those resolutions that you could
put down for yourselves, any I shouldn't keep calling you
on this one, okay, I know. Here are some questions
to ask yourselves to jump into those goals. Thanks to
intention habit dot com for some of these questions, we
kind of rearrange some things. Some of the things are
(15:47):
straight from them, so if you want to go check
that out. It says these are the questions you should
start asking yourself. Some of them, what moments brought you
join and fulfillment in the last year, Take on that
you know, like on some of the things like I
loved THATD did this. Annie, you should be very proud
of all of the fiction you've been publishing on our show,
(16:07):
as well as on your fanfic which is.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Called Oh I have a new development on that and
I will talk about it later.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Okay, okay, okay, let's try and do that anyway, moving on,
then another question, how did I manage stress this year
and or the chaos? Did you or did you just
bypass it? You know? And it's okay, but just realize
it just got to catch up to you, whether it's
through an anxiety attack, sickness, and or just crashing out.
(16:41):
So take care of that, take care of yourself, listen
to your body. Did you balance your personal life and
professional life this year? If not, maybe put that on
your goals Annie. Another question, what do I need to
let go of for this year? Some of the things
(17:03):
that in the past year are like, you know, I
couldn't control that. There's this may be miserable. These are
maybe a relationship, you know, it may be a habit.
It may be something that you know you can't really
do much about, but you can at least let go
of feeling anxious about it or try to noting it.
That's a good, good place to start. And also, did
(17:24):
you survive if you did, go ahead and celebrate. If
you're here with us, you did celebrate. You made it.
Always celebrate and with all of that, just as a
(17:49):
reminder on this kind of lighthearted ish Monday Mini First
Monday Mini No First recorded twenty twenty five Monday, Many
because I believe you already had one. Remember, even when
hard times and difficult times come around, you are not alone.
(18:10):
If you feel depleted, unmotivated, or deflated, look to others
who are pushing and fighting. That's the point of community.
We all take turns to lift one another up. And
it's okay to fill down. Sometimes it's okay because you
know what we all do, and it sometimes really feels defeating,
(18:34):
and that's okay. We're human. It's human. We have to rest.
But you aren't in this alone. And the work is
always being done. Even if you're not at the forefront
of every movement, in every cause, in every social change,
the work is being done and there's always a spot
(18:55):
for you. There's always a spot to rest. Just look
for the the ones who are doing this change. There
are those out there. You just have to seek them
out and know your work does count. I have to
tell myself this constantly. I literally had a case that
I had from my social work days where I worked
(19:16):
really hard for this kid and I really hoped he
would be fine because he had been dealt a really
awful hand and I saw it. I saw it firsthand
for him, and I just wanted him to have the
best and unfortunately, I think his adulthood, he just could
not come out of it. Right now, I think he's
getting out of it. All that to say is I
(19:37):
was felt really defeated in that. I was like, what
was the point. But I have to remember the very
least I tried to my hardest, and it's okay for
whatever reason, if it was just for myself to be
able to be motivated in that moment, it still counts. Again, Remember,
(19:57):
you are not here to really you're not here to
save everyone. It's impossible. That isn't your responsibility. But you
are here to better the world the best way you
can with your talents and your kindness. It should not
take sacrificing your health in order to help. If you
(20:18):
aren't able to take care of yourself. You will not
be able to help others. Point blank. You will make mistakes.
We have made mistakes. We're gonna make mistakes. We're gonna
learn from them, and we're gonna grow with you and
for ourselves. So all of this is just a reminder
(20:41):
there's a lot of hard work to come, but it's
a day at a time and we're gonna be okay
in the very metaphorical Okay, right, Annie, Yeah, that was
not convincing. That was not convincing, But that's okay. You
(21:07):
don't have to be. It's gonna we're gonna be in
this fight together. Is gonna be a long fight. But
we have a community here, and know that we are
your community and we love you.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Yes, yes we do. And so many of you write
in about the amazing things you do or people you
think we should be looking two in the fight they're doing.
So please keep doing that because we love hearing from you,
and we love knowing what we should be shouting out
(21:37):
and paying attention to. A Happy New year, Happy new year.
Let us know what are your thoughts about many goals
you've set that you'd like to share. We would love
to hear from you. We do appreciate you. I love you. Okay,
here we go. I haven't done this in a while.
(22:01):
This is a okay, wait, this is a goal I
have because we need to update this. Yeah, if you
would like to email us, you can. You can email
us at Stephanie and mom Stuff at IHEARTMNEU dot com
or Hello at stuff onever told you dot com, which
is easier to remember, so let us know if you
have any issues with it. But it should be fine,
(22:21):
should work. I've tested it a couple of times.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Ok, Okay.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
You can find us on social media where you're not
very active on there, but you can find us on
blue Sky at mom Stuff podcast, and you can find
us on Instagram and TikTok at Steffane Never told you.
We're also on YouTube. We have a tea public store,
and we have a book you can get wherever you
get your books. Thanks Zoways too, our super producer Christina,
(22:48):
our executive producer Maya, and our contributor Joey. Thank you
and thanks to you for listening stuff Will Never told
you this book. Shuld i Heart Radio for more podcast
on my Heart Radio. You can check out the heart
Radio app Apple Podcasts, or if you listen to your
favorite shows
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Y
Hey, this is Anny and Samantha.
Speaker 2 (00:06):
Welcome to stuff I never told you, Protection by Heart Radio.
Speaker 1 (00:18):
And Happy New Year, Smandy fam and Annie thank you
to you as well. And we are back recording for
the first time in twenty twenty five. WHOA that number
seems so foreign.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Yeah, we're in.
Speaker 1 (00:38):
The middle of the twenty twenties, and in my head
we're still just at the beginning.
Speaker 2 (00:43):
You're stuck in the past.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
Very much so. Is this what happens is with aging
where you don't feel like you're aging, so therefore time
just stops. That's where I am in life. Hope you
are keeping warm, because damn is cold, y'all. Annie and
I are looking like we are in the middle of
like Antarctica essentially, with like hoodies up and beanies on
(01:07):
and so many things because we are cold. This is Georgia.
I know for many of y'all you're in the middle
of it as well. And I hope you're keeping warm
during this arctic freeze that this I guess happening. Supposedly
we might get snow. I don't know if that is true.
I would like a little snow, that would be nice,
(01:29):
A little Yeah. I say this as someone who works
from home, so I know that I'm privileged in that way.
But yeah, it's cold, I'm cold, and I saw Kansas
I've got I don't know why. My TikTok is flooded
with Kansas information and they're all they're in the middle
like a pretty dire like snowstorm. I hope y'all are okay, Yeah,
(01:50):
let us know what's going on over there. Yeah, but
I say I'm somewhat prepared, I guess, And this is
all right now I'm currently talking about the US. I
haven't looked beyond. I'm sure other people have been aready
affected by everything that's going on. But I will say
I do have my electric blanket, four pairs of booties
slash slippers. Yeah, two of those are boot addition like
(02:10):
house slippers cozy.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
No, I'm like, I don't know where this came from.
But okay, I do know where it came from Christmas,
Thanks parents. I also have a warm Judge dog that
gets especially cuddly during the cold days. It is all
about survival. She doesn't really want to cuddle, she just
wants my body heat. I'll think it. I'm needy. And
(02:33):
with that, we thought we would take a look at
some of the advice on how to begin this year
with some feminists, resolutions or goals as you might put it,
I guess instead of saying resolutions, because we don't love
that word typically. Of course. You know, we've talked about
that before. How often these traditions for the New Years
(02:54):
often put women in a place of hopelessness and self doubt.
So we don't want to harp on that. We've talked
about how that is not healthy and this whole level
of like being perfect or being this better self. Eh,
it's for the birds, and it's really kind of setting
yourself up to fail. But it's also a time of reflection,
(03:17):
whether we want to or not. You know, it's just
that kind of timing. You know, you look back on
what's happened, think about how the things that you how
many things that you wish you could change, not necessarily
about yourself personally, but like maybe the world, maybe the world,
I say, But with that, before we start, Annie, how
was your New Year's.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
It was fine, It was good. It was strange because
New Year's and Christmas were Wednesdays. Yeah, it was like
the middle of the week, and so and I maybe
this should be one of my goal goals is to
actually take time off. Because of that, I wasn't like
(04:01):
I had to work around it, so I don't know.
It was one of those things where it kind of
like passed and then I had to go back and
do get back to work, Like yeah, but I did
have I got to hang out with a lot of
my friends more than once, which is we don't get
to see each other that often, so it was cool
to hang out with them, and I made my traditional
(04:23):
meal and that was really good, did all my traditions around,
watching Star Wars and stuff. It was great in that way.
Speaker 1 (04:31):
Great, yeah, all yeah. We ended up spending our New
Years with my partner's family, so this is the first
time I think we spent it outside of just me
and him. One of the reasons is because I think
I've talked about this before. The New Year's around My
neighborhood is full of guns. Shoot a lot of guns here,
(04:53):
which is really funny because yes, that is kind of
a stereotype of the US and then of Atlanta. But
I'm into so you know, there's that. But and I
don't own a gun. I've never used their fire a gun.
But all that to say, is there people are trigger
happy for the New Year's and it's scares that of me.
So we were not here for that, which was kind
(05:13):
of great. Instead, we were in Florida with his family
and it was lovely. We all stayed up till midnight cheers,
and then I went immediately to bed because I'm like, yeah,
I'm tired of why am I up this late? I
did make collars, like from scratch myself black eyed peas
because I would like, I think that's such a Southern thing.
(05:34):
Not that that his family's not Southern, they are, but
like they don't do those types of traditions, and I'm like, no,
we have to do these traditions. I don't know what
you're talking about, not that it's going to help or anything,
but just feels like it needs to be done. So
I did do that.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Kudos to me.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
The colors were really good. I was very proud of those.
But again, like I said, we don't necessarily love resolutions.
But do you have any like to do things or
goals on your list this year? Any take time off?
Speaker 2 (06:02):
Take time off would be a good one. I think.
I know I've talked about this before. I used to
be really big into like I have all these things
I want to accomplish, and this year it's been kind
of moving this way for a couple of years. But
like my mom asked me, boy, what are your resolutions,
I was like, I'm going. My resolution is to make
(06:24):
it to the next day. I keep going because, yeah,
I thought. I think it also kind of relates to
the recent happy hour we did about not knowing what
time it is anymore right that it does feel more. Yeah,
I should take more time off. That's a good one.
I should. I need to. I need to sit down
(06:46):
and think about this clearly.
Speaker 1 (06:47):
I haven't. I'm on you just now.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
No, it's fine. I mean I should have already, but
I think it would be to maybe be okay with
like some days is not gonna be okay. And I'll
think about other specific things, like okay, I have writing
goals and stuff like that.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
Oh yeah, Oh, so we'll come back then because I'm
also going to do things for the lunar New Years,
which you know, I'm really big into have been for
the past few years, which we're gonna do a whole
conversation on that. But with that, I'll ask you then
how about that we'll let you said it for the
lunar frame. Okay, I think on it. You got you
(07:32):
got a couple of weeks before we come background. Yeah,
for me, I would say going to the dentist, but
not only going to the dentist, because I have been going.
I will say, I do go to the dentist to
get it cleaning and such, and then like the X
rays and do all of that, But the amount of
work that has to be done on my teeth. Orphan
kid here literally that had a lot of like malnutrition
(07:55):
as a child ritually affected my teeth. And I did
have a specialist, but like everything got pushed back till
I got a permanent teeth be my own insurance. My
parents are like, I can't, we can't afford this. Fair enough,
y'all fair enough because they have four kids, and this
one was like, I have thousands and thousands of dollars
of work for my teeth. I'll let to say, I'm
(08:15):
gonna do it this year. I'm gonna start it this year.
Okay with our insurance, I'm gonna start it this year.
Find someone that does a financial plan anyway, that's one
of the goals, at the very least, starting and then
the other one is just to try to keep it
pseudo together, so have I'm okay with having a few
(08:35):
bad days, but not having consistently bad days, So that's
the other goal. I'm feeling they'll be fair enough. Right.
So with that, if you, like Annie, are looking for
(08:58):
some motivations on how to do some goal setting, here's
some helpful, helpful ideas for a feminist resolutions or maybe
feminist goals, we'll just say it that way. And this
one that's actually from the Women's Fund Armenia. So I
feel like they have a whole different level of conversation
in this at which I'm like, yeah, we are really privileged,
(09:20):
but it's still like still global, it is still late
for everyone. And this was created in twenty twenty three
in preparation for twenty twenty three, so little dated, but
it still stands. It still stands. I also looked at
take upspace, theapy dot com, who has a whole thing
that they have like workbooks if you need it to
(09:41):
go look into feminist goal setting and about how not
to set yourself up for failure literally talking about as
we talked about previously, how a lot of these things
are about perfectionism and teaching women that they're not perfect.
If they're not perfect, they're not good enough. And we
don't like that conversation. No, no, no, we talk about
trying to really do some things that benefit us as people,
(10:03):
as humans, and as activists on all realms. So thanks
to those two sites, and of course we've kind of
blended our own sage advice. I'm in my mid forties now,
any I think I can give you advice now right Whether
you should take them, I don't know, but I'm gonna
give you that advice anyway. Here we go, so one
(10:25):
support other women and connect and create a good community.
I think that's so important, especially right now, to remember
that you're not alone, because it can feel isolating. There's
a lot of things happening. Avian flu. Annie. You know
some things about av and flu, don't you.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
It's terrible. Don't recommend.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Zero zero, do not recommend. Yeah, so that things like
that are going around, But with that, we need one
another in these really kind of scary times. And I
say scary because I feel like I'll wake up to
more bad news. We're not so great news sometimes, and
maybe it's because we are so connected to the Internet
(11:10):
and they see things on an international level, which is
really good on one hand, but also really scary on
the other. So having good community and being able to
support each other is something that is very important, something
that you should look into. If you don't have a
good community seeking it out, it could be us. We
can be your communities. We love you. Support businesses owned
(11:33):
by the marginalized peoples and communities. I think that's something
that we need to really really focus on, especially in
the next years to come. There's a lot of things
happening we don't know, financially, tear us whatever, whatnot, all
these rumors that are swirling about again with the impending doom,
and during that time, we need to support those who
(11:54):
are in need. And uh, just as a reminder that
the best way to be an activist sometimes it's just
using your money in the correct places, you know what
I mean, do research that I'm pointing at myself for
that because I need a lot of research because you know,
things like we talked about this before, and you all
have sent us some great, really great information and sites
(12:16):
keep doing that. But like et see when we talked
about that that was originally supposed to be for small
business owners and such. It's not always and you have
to do some deep dive and research to see who
you're buying from because oftentimes they've been infiltrated by corporations. Yeah, anyway,
with that, moving on, educate yourself, ask hard questions, have
(12:39):
a conversation about some really hard topics, things that make
you uncomfortable. Be willing to educate yourself. Google is still there, bias,
but you know, find that information. It's good to learn things.
Learn and even embrace the word No. You've gotten better
(13:01):
in the last two years, last five years, I've gotten better.
You've gotten better, I've gotten better.
Speaker 2 (13:07):
I think this is what I get hung up on though,
because I feel like I overcorrected, because my final resolution
between before the pandemic of twenty twenty twenty was stop
going out so much, basically learn to say no. And
then in the pandemic happened, and now it's like I've overcorrected,
and I don't want to make anything to go back
(13:27):
the other way, because I'm afraid I'll fall back into
my bad habits.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
All right, So for you find your middle ground, there
we go. That's goal number two. For you've got this.
We've got this. Another thing. Learn from your body and
watch for ques on when you need to rest, when
you need to recover, and when you need to go
to a doctor. Everybody, just say, I feel like a
(13:53):
lot of us, not all of us, but a lot
of us, especially when it comes to women in marginalist
people are constantly told to suck it up, so therefore,
or we are afraid we're not going to be believed
or any of those things, or because we have so
much to do, we ignore signs that our bodies, like, hey,
you're in pain for a reason, maybe you should go
see a professional. Listen to your body. I'm just yelling
(14:15):
at people. Take this with love. Take this with love,
is it? Take this from your auntie, your sister, your
older sister. Here, I got you. Listen this with luck.
Celebrate your progress, even as again learning just just learning
to listen to your body or learning to slow down.
(14:36):
Celebrate that you've become self aware. Hey, that's a huge step.
That's a huge step. Also site note, because I'm getting
this from TikTok, also so much social media. Just remember,
being self aware is noting the positives of yourself just
as much as the things that you want to work on.
(14:56):
In yourself, like that's me. I'm self aware of some
of most of my flaws. Like mainly about my flaws,
I don't quite I'm not quite self aware of the
good things half the time. Sometimes I can, like I
know I can dance, Yeah, come see me dance, But
I don't think I'm confident enough to actually dance dance,
which I might try to do this year. I think
(15:17):
that's gonna be the hobby. I'm gonna. I'm gonna try
to try to pick up some choreography. I'm gonna do it.
I'm mighta do it. Damn it may break something, but
that's okay.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
Moving on.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Uh And with some of those resolutions that you could
put down for yourselves, any I shouldn't keep calling you
on this one, okay, I know. Here are some questions
to ask yourselves to jump into those goals. Thanks to
intention habit dot com for some of these questions, we
kind of rearrange some things. Some of the things are
(15:47):
straight from them, so if you want to go check
that out. It says these are the questions you should
start asking yourself. Some of them, what moments brought you
join and fulfillment in the last year, Take on that
you know, like on some of the things like I
loved THATD did this. Annie, you should be very proud
of all of the fiction you've been publishing on our show,
(16:07):
as well as on your fanfic which is.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
Called Oh I have a new development on that and
I will talk about it later.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
Okay, okay, okay, let's try and do that anyway, moving on,
then another question, how did I manage stress this year
and or the chaos? Did you or did you just
bypass it? You know? And it's okay, but just realize
it just got to catch up to you, whether it's
through an anxiety attack, sickness, and or just crashing out.
(16:41):
So take care of that, take care of yourself, listen
to your body. Did you balance your personal life and
professional life this year? If not, maybe put that on
your goals Annie. Another question, what do I need to
let go of for this year? Some of the things
(17:03):
that in the past year are like, you know, I
couldn't control that. There's this may be miserable. These are
maybe a relationship, you know, it may be a habit.
It may be something that you know you can't really
do much about, but you can at least let go
of feeling anxious about it or try to noting it.
That's a good, good place to start. And also, did
(17:24):
you survive if you did, go ahead and celebrate. If
you're here with us, you did celebrate. You made it.
Always celebrate and with all of that, just as a
(17:49):
reminder on this kind of lighthearted ish Monday Mini First
Monday Mini No First recorded twenty twenty five Monday, Many
because I believe you already had one. Remember, even when
hard times and difficult times come around, you are not alone.
(18:10):
If you feel depleted, unmotivated, or deflated, look to others
who are pushing and fighting. That's the point of community.
We all take turns to lift one another up. And
it's okay to fill down. Sometimes it's okay because you
know what we all do, and it sometimes really feels defeating,
(18:34):
and that's okay. We're human. It's human. We have to rest.
But you aren't in this alone. And the work is
always being done. Even if you're not at the forefront
of every movement, in every cause, in every social change,
the work is being done and there's always a spot
(18:55):
for you. There's always a spot to rest. Just look
for the the ones who are doing this change. There
are those out there. You just have to seek them
out and know your work does count. I have to
tell myself this constantly. I literally had a case that
I had from my social work days where I worked
(19:16):
really hard for this kid and I really hoped he
would be fine because he had been dealt a really
awful hand and I saw it. I saw it firsthand
for him, and I just wanted him to have the
best and unfortunately, I think his adulthood, he just could
not come out of it. Right now, I think he's
getting out of it. All that to say is I
(19:37):
was felt really defeated in that. I was like, what
was the point. But I have to remember the very
least I tried to my hardest, and it's okay for
whatever reason, if it was just for myself to be
able to be motivated in that moment, it still counts. Again, Remember,
(19:57):
you are not here to really you're not here to
save everyone. It's impossible. That isn't your responsibility. But you
are here to better the world the best way you
can with your talents and your kindness. It should not
take sacrificing your health in order to help. If you
(20:18):
aren't able to take care of yourself. You will not
be able to help others. Point blank. You will make mistakes.
We have made mistakes. We're gonna make mistakes. We're gonna
learn from them, and we're gonna grow with you and
for ourselves. So all of this is just a reminder
(20:41):
there's a lot of hard work to come, but it's
a day at a time and we're gonna be okay
in the very metaphorical Okay, right, Annie, Yeah, that was
not convincing. That was not convincing, But that's okay. You
(21:07):
don't have to be. It's gonna we're gonna be in
this fight together. Is gonna be a long fight. But
we have a community here, and know that we are
your community and we love you.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Yes, yes we do. And so many of you write
in about the amazing things you do or people you
think we should be looking two in the fight they're doing.
So please keep doing that because we love hearing from you,
and we love knowing what we should be shouting out
(21:37):
and paying attention to. A Happy New year, Happy new year.
Let us know what are your thoughts about many goals
you've set that you'd like to share. We would love
to hear from you. We do appreciate you. I love you. Okay,
here we go. I haven't done this in a while.
(22:01):
This is a okay, wait, this is a goal I
have because we need to update this. Yeah, if you
would like to email us, you can. You can email
us at Stephanie and mom Stuff at IHEARTMNEU dot com
or Hello at stuff onever told you dot com, which
is easier to remember, so let us know if you
have any issues with it. But it should be fine,
(22:21):
should work. I've tested it a couple of times.
Speaker 1 (22:25):
Ok, Okay.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
You can find us on social media where you're not
very active on there, but you can find us on
blue Sky at mom Stuff podcast, and you can find
us on Instagram and TikTok at Steffane Never told you.
We're also on YouTube. We have a tea public store,
and we have a book you can get wherever you
get your books. Thanks Zoways too, our super producer Christina,
(22:48):
our executive producer Maya, and our contributor Joey. Thank you
and thanks to you for listening stuff Will Never told
you this book. Shuld i Heart Radio for more podcast
on my Heart Radio. You can check out the heart
Radio app Apple Podcasts, or if you listen to your
favorite shows
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Y
Stuff Mom Never Told You News
Hosts And Creators
Anney Reese
Samantha McVey
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations.
Monster: BTK
'Monster: BTK', the newest installment in the 'Monster' franchise, reveals the true story of the Wichita, Kansas serial killer who murdered at least 10 people between 1974 and 1991. Known by the moniker, BTK – Bind Torture Kill, his notoriety was bolstered by the taunting letters he sent to police, and the chilling phone calls he made to media outlets. BTK's identity was finally revealed in 2005 to the shock of his family, his community, and the world. He was the serial killer next door. From Tenderfoot TV & iHeartPodcasts, this is 'Monster: BTK'.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.