May 9, 2024 • 30 mins
Mentors and role models can be hugely empowering for women. In this classic, Anney gushes about her mom, and we discuss the value of having strong women in our lives.
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Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. We're welcome to stuff
I've never told you a protective of iHeartRadio and today, Yes,
your eyes ears do not deceive you. You're getting a classic.
That's because we're doing I Spoiled Saturdays this month. But
(00:28):
this weekend, as it comes out, is Mother's Day, and
we were talking about some potential topics around that, and
I had the idea of gendered gift giving around Mom's
and how so much of it is like cooking stuff
or cleaning stuff. But I remembered I had done that
already in a previous update. Yes, so I wanted to
(00:52):
bring something back to marked the occasion, and I remembered
we had done this one where I really gush about
how much I love my mom, called mentors and Mom's stuff,
and where we just talk about women in our lives
that we looked up to or were mentors to us
at some point. As always with this, shout out to
people who are hurting on Mother's Day for whatever reason,
(01:15):
if it's infertility, bad relationships with mothers, loss. Also reminder,
non binary Parents' Day is a thing. Yeah yeah, yeah,
But whatever you're doing, we hope that you enjoy this
classic episode. Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome
(01:35):
to stuff I never told your protection of iHeartRadio's house
that works. This episode all about mentors and strong women
and role models.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Goes out to my mom.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Because her birthday is tomorrow as you record this, but
it was new, it was soonish right whenever you hear it,
And I did want to do a list of things
I love about my mom because she's my favorite. The
number one thing is she's kind love and kindness is
one of my most valued traits in anybody.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
I haven't met her yet, but everything you've told of me,
I'm like, she's the most patient, genuinely giving person.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yeah that just sounds like it.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Yeah, she's very caring, she's empathetic. She calls me sweetness.
She's strong and funny and fun and wants to make
sure everyone else is having fun. She's handled a lot
of tragedy with grace. She knows what your favorite meal
is and we'll make it for you when you're sad
or happy, or when she's just thinking of you. She
has a Southern accent that makes it hard for drive
(02:45):
through employees to understand her.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Really.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Yep, the infamous example is when we were at a
Zaxby's and she wanted water, and they thought she was
saying order, so they thought she wanted a second order,
but she was saying water or waters?
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Is that southern thing? Or is that the more like?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I feel like that's southern.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
I know there's a YouTube star who does that too,
and he's from Atlanta, apparently in water water, and every
time he does it, they make fun of him and
put in translation.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
It was quite funny. It was one of those like
who's on first?
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Just took forever.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Eventually she was like, forget the water, It's fine. She
she also gets a lot of modern things just slightly wrong.
Back in my my chemical romance phase. She called them
my potions addiction.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
I mean because I like Potter. She was combining the fantastic.
Actually that sounds like a Harry Potter cover ban.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
It should be.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
She's easy to talk to you. She's a great listener.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
She used to take the longer way to my gymnastics
class because it had a steep hill that I.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Liked going up and down and pretending it was a
roller coaster. Every year, she hides Easter eggs just for me.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
You make a lot of money off those I make
a lot of money. That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
I know.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
I feel like I want to come over and so
fun and there's money to be getting all the money.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
My favorite part about Thanksgiving is cooking with her. Well,
we drink Corse light out of silver goblets.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Oh you fancy, We super fancy. She's brave.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
She's heacked alone in all kinds of isolated places you
can't find online, and she draws maps of those areas
that she is shared with coworkers in this office who've
been curious. And she has this hand drawn map she'll
give you if.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
I need that.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
It's awesome.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
She's happy to try new things like moonshine if you
want to try a John Snow seemed to be here
at a bar she's in, even though she doesn't know
who John Snow. And one of my favorite pictures I've
ever posted on Instagram. I was trying to show her
what a selfie was and instead of looking at the camera,
she kissed me on the cheek and it's one of
my favorite pictures we've ever taken. Oh that's adorable. Yeah.
(04:53):
She volunteers, She helps others. She remembers the little things
that you mentioned and then brings them up years later,
like remember how your favorite so when you were in
seventh grade.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Was that Matrix song for by Pod And I'm like, no,
but I can't believe you remember.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
She indulges me in my silly quest, like going to
every store to find a cheap PlayStation four, which we did.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
It took forever, but we did.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
She didn't laugh at me when I was nine and
cried because I realized I would, in fact, never marry
Ryan Gosling. It was out of the cards. It was
a tough day for me. She's excited to learn new things.
She'll watch a bad movie with me and listen to
me talk about Harry Potter and Marvel all day. She
encouraged me to travel. She forgives where I tried to forget.
(05:38):
She never tries to change me and all my weirdness.
She's my cheerleader and she's in my corner and I
love her and she loves me, and I know that
she does, and her actions and in her words, she
has made it impossible for me to think otherwise, even
on my lowest day. And I could go on and on,
But if she's listening now, she's blushing. Oh, even though
I'd like to do a whole podcast about her, probably
(05:58):
shut it.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
We can, Oh, gosh, I would love to. Don't tempt me.
And my mom and I look a lot of like.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
And sometimes people will come up to me and they'll
think I'm her, And instead of being like angry because
she's older than me, I'm.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Like, always so flattered by.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
I'll love those pictures of the parent daughter group and
they're like, are they sisters?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Who is who?
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Who was the older?
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah, she's we do look a lot like I see it.
But yes, this episode is not all about my mom,
but I wanted to talk about her because it's her birthday,
and also she has been a really beneficial and powerful
role model and mentor in my life, and we wanted
to look into why that's so important. And one of
(06:48):
the big things is if you can see it, you
can be it. We've said it so many times on
the show before. It's simplification, but it does open up
so many doors. You may have thought we're closed to you.
If you see someone that you can see yourself in
doing something right. Studies have found this impacts men too.
If men never see women doing a thing, whatever it
(07:10):
might be, they might think women can't.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Do it either.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
A study out of India found that when exposed to
at least two female village leaders, men were more likely
to vote for women. A recent theory suggests that role
models are helpful in three ways behavioral, inspirational, and potential.
One of the things that has come up a lot
in our female first segments is these amazing women reporting
(07:34):
how hard it was to do everything that they did
without a role model or mentor someone they can look
to to see because they're the first, there was no
one like them to get advice from or to learn from.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
Right. A recent study found that eighty nine percent of
women made more aspirational life goals when around a woman
they admire and middlely. The study was in part sponsored
by Linquisine, but also by NYU College.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
So there's that.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
It found that after a conversation with a woman that
they found inspirational, women were more likely to think about
the things they wanted as opposed to what they believe
society expected of them.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Having a female role model can help women deal with
all the self doubt and self criticism that often plagues
a lot of us, especially when we do something society
tells us isn't really for women. Isn't a placed women
can succeed in? Isn't a space for women?
Speaker 4 (08:25):
The National Science Foundation recently sponsored a study that found that,
compared to male faculty tenured or tenured track, female faculty
were more likely to have mentors. Female assistant professors with
mentors were more likely to get grants than those without
a mentor.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
A study from the Air Force Academy and two economists
at the University of California Davis found, as reported by
Ray Feisman over at Slate, quote, when a female instructor
was put at the front of the classroom, nearly two
thirds of the grade point gender gap evaporated. The study
authors acknowledged the difficulty of isolating any one thing when
it comes to improving grades, and that's one of the
reasons they chose it was a military college for their study,
(09:01):
with the hopes of minimizing as many of those factors
as possible.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
A different study from KMPG found that women really want
mentorship and really benefit from it. Sixty seven percent reported
that they needed a support group to foster the confidence
they needed to be leaders. The same number indicated they'd
learned the most valuable leadership lessons from other women.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Several studies have shown mentorship to be especially helpful when
it comes to women in tech. Still, even with a mentor,
the attrition rate for women in STEM fields is one
out of four women compared to one out of ten men.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
The importance of mentoring our young folks can't be underestimated either.
Negative stereotypes about women in STEM impacts girls as early
as twelve and when they started reporting a declining interest.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
A twenty seventeen study found that black students were more
likely to graduate if they had at least one black
teacher between third and fifth grade. Other research found that
women are more likely to enroll in upper level classes
when they've had experience with a female role model in
that field, even a minor one.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
And women can relate to issues faced by other women,
being the only one in the boardroom, salary negotiations, or
being spoken over.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Men can totally be good mentors for both men and
women too. However, one of the interesting side effects of
the Me too movement is that, according to some studies,
more than half of male managers are now nervous and
avoidant when it comes to working closely with women.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Mentorship is different from sponsorship.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
I just want to put that in there, which is
sponsorship is valuable as well, and this is when someone
in a position of power speaks for you, vouchers for you,
actively helps.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Advance your career. And I did read there aren't.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
That many pieces out there about this, but there are
some about like stop looking from mentors, which you need
as a sponsor, you could probably benefit from both.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
But you know mentor.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
When we say mentor, a lot of what we're talking
about is informal, although companies do have formal programs. And
if this is something you're interested in, totally.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
Checkingship is an involved process, which is a relationship beyond,
then just let me help you with this one thing.
And I know for my kids having a mentor it
makes a vast difference. Someone that they can turn to,
someone they trust, someone that they can help them in
times of needs without feeling judged.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
And that's a lot of the mentorship. But it's not
judging but helping.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
And I know according to one study, one very important
study about adolescence, the likelihood of them reoffending or going
down a negative path is lessened if they have one
positive influence or mentor in their life and it makes
a vast amount of difference in their future.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Yeah, so pretty important stuff. And we have some more
important stuff to talk about. But first we have a
quick break for words from a sponsor, and we're back,
(11:58):
Thank you sponsor. So now we want to talk about
If you're hearing this and you're hanging, oh my gosh,
I gotta go out and get me a mentor finding one,
let's talk about that. Like we said, many companies do
offer a formal mentorship program, so be sure to see
if that's an option where you work. However, we could
definitely do better. Overall, a program is valuable because it
(12:21):
normalizes a work culture that promotes learning, growing and asking
for help and just having that structure in place, like
knowing that this person is available or interested, very very helpful.
Of note, you can get a mentor for non work
stuff too, like just somebody in your life, Like my
mom wasn't my mentor for work or anything.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
She's more my role model but also kind of a mentor, right.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
And that's the whole idea that I was saying previously
before the ad is this mentoring is just beyond this
one thing it's a whole life changing process it hopefully yeah,
in a good way.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Yeah. It comes to choosing a mentor a couple things.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Know what you want out of the relationship and be
able to communicate that. Do communicate that, and don't be
afraid to be selective, be open to hearing constructive criticism,
and to actually heeding advice. Look for someone who has
the experience you want, is qualified and passionate in your field,
and has the bandwidth and desire to be a mentor,
and is generally nice. I would say it will be
(13:25):
a positive influence in your life. And this is more
work stuff, and for me, I had a mentor for
this job, although it was more back when I was
a producer. My old boss, Roxanne, whose voice a lot
of you may recognize as the one that has long
introduced our fellow podcast stuff you should know and stuff
you missed in history class. She was a great listener.
(13:47):
She had your back, she had everyone's back. She made
time out of her day for me, gave me advice
and constructive criticism and praise. She gave me ideas and
also was very straightforward with me about the pros and
cons of like pursuing certain positions at the company and
work home life balance, and to this day we still
meet up.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Very valuable relationship to me.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
I think when it comes to this shop technically you
large from Savor as well as Caroline with a lady
like are my mentors of what the hell am I doing?
Speaker 3 (14:22):
And checking in I'm like, is this good? Is this bad?
Speaker 4 (14:24):
Am I just completely off the chart and trying to
do what I'm doing and all of that. And it's
been really nice to have because I could not imagine
trying to do this and being like, yeah, I don't
know I'm doing because I don't.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
And it's That's another good point is it doesn't have
to be I think when people think of mentors, they
think of someone fifty years older than you, way older
and like, way more qualified. And it doesn't have to
be that way at all. And we'll come back to
that too.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
Surveys and studies show plenty of women are willing to
be mentors. So why is mentoring among women so relatively rare.
The consensus seems to be women are afraid to ask,
or for some reason or another aren't asking. Well. Of course,
time commitment is a big thing as well. If you
want to be a mentor or. If you want a mentor,
don't be afraid. You probably know a woman in your
(15:12):
life happy to step in to fill that role.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Yeah, it's it's one of those things. It doesn't have
to be a super formal it can be. It doesn't
have to be.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
Sometimes it does feel like it's kind of stalk creation.
I'm like, hey, I really like what you're doing. You
wouldn't be my mentor.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Well, you just did you say anything in that voice?
It feels a little starrish.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
You didn't like that voice.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
I'm just saying, maybe your approach needs all I'm staring
at you like this.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Yeah, there's like an eyebrow thing.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Which is funny because my eyebrows really can't move.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Well, they're doing something right now.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
They're doing sound creepy. Way to go, Samantha.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Yeah, well, well we'll discuss this after the podcast. And
this brings us to how to be a mentor. According
to a DDI World study, women shy away from being
mentors for three main reasons. Women don't ask other women
to be mentors, a lack of time on the part
(16:19):
of the mentor. Women don't feel they have an appropriate
level of expertise, to mentor, which is that damn imposter
syndrome again. And mentoring it's not a one way street.
It's not only helpful for the mentee, but for the
mentor as well. It's a mutually beneficial relationship, or it
should be. As a mentor, you'll improve your listening skills,
(16:42):
you'll learn, you'll become more compassionate and empathetic, you'll push
yourself to do better. I was a mentor in college
and on and off informally in my career.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
And I found it to be super rewarding.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
And I know I felt some anxiety and being a mentor,
that I wasn't good enough, didn't know enough, And yeah,
I know I'm not the only one that.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Feels like that.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
But the value of just having someone there listening, a
person you can talk to. Don't underestimate that. Like, if
you can do at least those things right, that's a
pretty good foundation.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
I remember once, and I hope no one judges me
for this, but.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
I jokingly told a menti of mine, I guess, in
what was a very serious tone, there is no fate,
no fate, but what make And I was exhausted and
advice is hard and retired and I'm a nerd, and
I really just I was kidding. But weeks later she
came up to me so grateful for my great advice
(17:45):
and yeah that was a quote from T two Judgment Day,
but it helped her.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
You know, Terminator, she never like sees.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
That movie feels such crushing betrayal.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
She stole that lie.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Well, I didn't know what she was talking about it first, like, well,
what advice? And then later I was like, oh no,
and yes, yes, you should do better than that, better
than spouting quotes from James Cameron movies. But don't let
yourself be too scared away from being a mentor because
you're not perfect.
Speaker 4 (18:18):
I mean, to be fair, you may be and you
just don't know it. That's true when you form some
types of relationships, it becomes kind of that way, when
you're there to help and you could just be I'm
your good friend, but I'm coming in and checking in.
Of course, there's a balance, but you may be mentoring
someone without knowing you're mentoring someone.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
That's totally true.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
There's so many people in my life that I don't
know if they realized the huge impact they had. Ely
and one of them, someone I met in China.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
I was so sad I had to leave.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
I was so sad, and she said, like, very simply,
sometimes people come into your life exactly when you need them,
and then they have to leave.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
And I still think about it to this day. I
was like, does she knew? She knew, but she probably
has no idea. I still think about that.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Another thing, A lot of the key things a mentee
wants to learn from a mentor isn't so much technical
but more kind of personal. Not personal, but like communication, skills, negotiation, leadership.
So if you're thinking, oh, I can barely do this
job myself, right.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
That was me.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
I'm not putting that on anyone else. But when I
first started editing, I thought that A lot a lot
of people are more like, how do I talk to
my boss? Or how do I sell these skills that
I have? How do I communicate better? How can I
be a better leader? How can I delegate things that
aren't necessarily so skills slash job based.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
I will say, I just used you for that literally
ten minutes ago she did.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
She did.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
So advertise your willingness to mentor if you're in STEM
volunteers speak to schools volunteer working with students.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Yeah, you know, I think there's a lot to be said.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
I know in colleges they offer older students with younger
students to help in different types of fields or whatnot,
So that's always good to do as well.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah, and I had that program in my school when
I was in elementary school.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
And Zoe, if you're.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Listening, Zoe, I remember you, and you really inspired me.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Yeah, so I.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Very much see the benefit and things like that. Some tips,
once you find a mentor mentee, have structured meetings with
set times frequencies.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
This is more for the formal stuff.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Come prepared with goals and objectives as the mentee and
homework as the mentor. And that doesn't have to be
like write this thing out, but more like maybe the
little focus on this and you can work on this
or read this thing or whatever it might be.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
You like the homework, huh do?
Speaker 2 (20:52):
I used to.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Ask for extra homework.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
I was a nerd, not you were, but you were.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
I was just were I Ohmantha, I race it.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Now you are.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Typically I'm too, just in different ways.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
And visibility of how women work, which for a variety
of reasons like children or elder care may be different
than men is really really really really really important.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Yeah, And my most recent.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Meeting with someone who I wouldn't say she's my mentee,
but she kind of reached out to me and was like, Hey,
I'm interested in doing pursuing kind of what you're doing,
and can we sit down and talk? And I was
very upfront with like, I love my job, but it
means X, Y and Z, it's for my home life,
it means this, and like just being open about what
(21:42):
it really takes for you to do what, especially in
a job like this where there's kind of a public
aspect to it, Like what does it take to get
to where we are right now?
Speaker 4 (21:52):
And that's honestly exactly why I come to you, and
come to people who have been in this field for
a very long time. I'm not gonna pretend like I
know what's going on.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
You know, and it's okay.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
You know your weaknesses, you know your strengths, improve your weaknesses,
and this is how you do it. You seek it
out and it's better to know, yes, obviously, than not know.
And it's better to mint that you don't know. So
how do I find help? And kind of like how
I'm doing. I don't necessarily have an individual mentor. I
literally seek people out in their specialties and or in
(22:26):
their expertise because I know I can get this from
you just kind of how you people come in seasons.
They have attributes and things that you don't know, which
makes it an amazing thing, which is what I love
about meeting new people. You find different things that you're like,
oh wow, I can learn from that, right, do it?
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Oh? Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (22:44):
And I think one article I read kind of going
off of that said you shouldn't be looking for mentors
but friend tours exactly. And so that's another way of
looking at it. If you're not into this whole idea
of like a more structured mentorship, or you're just I
don't want to stay embarrassed, but maybe like a friend
(23:05):
towards an easier thing right for you to pursue.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
I mean, for me, I trust it.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
I have a huge trust issue in general, and I'm
so much better now, But that was part of the thing,
is like, how do I trust you in all these
aspects and I don't want to be disappointed or I
don't want to disappoint you all of those levels and
being able to kind of bring people in your groups
and lovingly do these things and then come up with
(23:31):
a fact like I don't know this aspect again, let's
talk and you teach me about this. Yeah, and then
kind of the same thing with you know, mikex or
takes to social work, so I do get the hey
you're a social worker.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
So yeah, and annoying as that can be.
Speaker 4 (23:46):
Sure, I understand why, and it's actually very appropriate and smart. Yeah,
unless you're asking for a session, then that's weird.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Right, Yeah, don't.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
I feel like a lot of my friends who your
nurses get the hate right like.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Hey, oh yeah, weird mo.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Yeah, yeah, we're off what.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
And you start brandowly pointing at scars.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
I mean, yeah, that's a different episode. We're going off track.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Cool. Sorry.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Also, you can have more than one mentor, and you
can have more than one mentee. You can be both
a mentor and a mentee. Your mentor can be your
age or younger, can be older. It can be formal
or informal. No labels as they say these days also
also not quite the same. But seeing it being it
is important when it comes to our media, especially the
(24:31):
media children consume as well. That's something We've talked about
a lot, but worth worth restating. We do have just
a little bit more for you listeners. But first we
have one more quick break forward from our sponsor, and
(24:58):
we're back.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Thank you sponsor. I wanted to touch.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Briefly on why this matters, even though I think it's
been sprinkled throughout this episode.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Ready one, there.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Are more men named Dave than there are women total
on the list of CEOs of the ftse one hundred companies.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Really more men named Dave. Also, I think Dave too, Like.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
There are a bunch of names I saw on different websites.
No Roberts, I don't remember if I saw Robert, but
I Dave stuck out Dave.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Dave.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
Damn it, Dave.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
What is the quote from two thousand and one? I'm sorry, Dave.
I just can't do that.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
Oh I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Andrew, Yes, thank you. Andrew.
Speaker 4 (25:44):
Care reports that although women do sixty percent of the
world's work, we make a measly ten percent of global
income and own less than one percent of the world's property.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
That's that's not my stomach does not like that.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
My whole party of the global income.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Yeah, wow, one percent of the world's property.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
That's that's absurd.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Study after study has found that our companies and our
economy as a whole benefits from diversity. Think of how
many ideas we're missing out on by not having women
and other marginalized groups at the table, whatever table that
might be. Think of how many ideas we would have
missed out on if not for women breaking barriers and
overcoming obstacles.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
You know, one of the things I think about social media.
My coworker and I talk about when we were talking
about different issues that are happening and just kind of
catching up and when I'm a coworker at my other
job and she is a very strong black woman and
I love her to death, and one of the things
we're talking about was how she sees Twitter and how
we see Twitter and the differences. And she's like, as
(26:53):
she calls it, black Twitter, I.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
Already knew this. And then white people.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
Are saying, right, bringing this along, Like that's been fifteen years,
and the dynamic of the split is more noticeable now
that we have that social media content of and even
though it's still separated unfortunately and not as consumed or
interchangeably consumed. I guess that's such a dynamic thing. It's like,
what are we missing out on? Yeah, you know, and
(27:16):
then you start realizing because now you have ability to
see that content, which is really really important.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Absolutely it is.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
And I one thing and I know we've talked about
this before too, but like having that friend who is
the strong person always worth like because sometimes people who
are strong have their their days that are where they're
down to or they are feeling down about themselves as well.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
And I in a.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Mentor mentee relationship, which can be it doesn't have to be,
but can be more of a like personal friendship relationship.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Just good to keep that in mind, you.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Know, check in, check in, right, always check.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
In on people.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
So that's about what we have to say about mentors
and role models today. But we are introducing a new
thing at the end of our episodes.
Speaker 4 (28:14):
We wanted to make sure that, as we had previously
had episodes about supporting women and supporting women in podcasting,
specifically in our field, because we know the statistics, that
we continue to actually emphasize that. And so as I
am learning this whole world of social media, I've been
(28:36):
checking out different Twitter sites, and different podcasts Twitter sites.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Is that a word?
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Look up to date?
Speaker 4 (28:42):
You are good at this all read what is this?
I was on the Twitter site on the Twitter site,
it told me it tweeted at me. There are so
many people who are asking for suggestions, like female, what
are your favorite female podcasts? Female led podcasts? And so
I'm going through every single one of them, clicking. I'm like, oh,
I like this one and not like this one. So
(29:03):
a few that I saw was Shenangan's with Friends hilarious content.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
I was just like, oh, yeah, I want to be
your friend. Just her.
Speaker 4 (29:10):
She was interviewing a specific person. It was the you
need to go check it out, okay, nerdy bitches, it
would be up your alley. Yeah, it sounds like you know,
and black girls do stuff too. And I enjoyed every
bit of all of those things. And it's really good content.
So if you love listening to our stuff, go check
their stuff out.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
Yeah, And we would love to hear your suggestions for podcasts.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
We should be shouting out.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
If you do a podcast we've heard for some people,
let us know.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
And one of the ways you can do that.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Is through email what yep on the email site says.
Speaker 4 (29:43):
They call email thing does a tweet at YouTube?
Speaker 2 (29:47):
I think so okay, cool cool.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
I think so Our email is stuff Media mom Stuff
at iHeartMedia dot Com, our Twitter is at mom Stuff podcast,
and Instagram is stuff I've Never told you.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
Thanks is all wait to our super producer Andrew Howard.
He's there, he was there moments ago.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
He decided to leave me because he doesn't like my songs.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Oh, he loves your songs. And thanks to you for listening.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Stuff mom Never Told You.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Is a prediction of iHeart Radio's How Stuff Works. For
more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. We're welcome to stuff
I've never told you a protective of iHeartRadio and today, Yes,
your eyes ears do not deceive you. You're getting a classic.
That's because we're doing I Spoiled Saturdays this month. But
(00:28):
this weekend, as it comes out, is Mother's Day, and
we were talking about some potential topics around that, and
I had the idea of gendered gift giving around Mom's
and how so much of it is like cooking stuff
or cleaning stuff. But I remembered I had done that
already in a previous update. Yes, so I wanted to
(00:52):
bring something back to marked the occasion, and I remembered
we had done this one where I really gush about
how much I love my mom, called mentors and Mom's stuff,
and where we just talk about women in our lives
that we looked up to or were mentors to us
at some point. As always with this, shout out to
people who are hurting on Mother's Day for whatever reason,
(01:15):
if it's infertility, bad relationships with mothers, loss. Also reminder,
non binary Parents' Day is a thing. Yeah yeah, yeah,
But whatever you're doing, we hope that you enjoy this
classic episode. Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome
(01:35):
to stuff I never told your protection of iHeartRadio's house
that works. This episode all about mentors and strong women
and role models.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
Goes out to my mom.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
Because her birthday is tomorrow as you record this, but
it was new, it was soonish right whenever you hear it,
And I did want to do a list of things
I love about my mom because she's my favorite. The
number one thing is she's kind love and kindness is
one of my most valued traits in anybody.
Speaker 3 (02:15):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (02:15):
I haven't met her yet, but everything you've told of me,
I'm like, she's the most patient, genuinely giving person.
Speaker 3 (02:22):
Yeah that just sounds like it.
Speaker 2 (02:24):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
Yeah, she's very caring, she's empathetic. She calls me sweetness.
She's strong and funny and fun and wants to make
sure everyone else is having fun. She's handled a lot
of tragedy with grace. She knows what your favorite meal
is and we'll make it for you when you're sad
or happy, or when she's just thinking of you. She
has a Southern accent that makes it hard for drive
(02:45):
through employees to understand her.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Really.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
Yep, the infamous example is when we were at a
Zaxby's and she wanted water, and they thought she was
saying order, so they thought she wanted a second order,
but she was saying water or waters?
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Is that southern thing? Or is that the more like?
Speaker 2 (03:04):
I feel like that's southern.
Speaker 4 (03:05):
I know there's a YouTube star who does that too,
and he's from Atlanta, apparently in water water, and every
time he does it, they make fun of him and
put in translation.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
It was quite funny. It was one of those like
who's on first?
Speaker 2 (03:18):
Just took forever.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
Eventually she was like, forget the water, It's fine. She
she also gets a lot of modern things just slightly wrong.
Back in my my chemical romance phase. She called them
my potions addiction.
Speaker 4 (03:34):
I mean because I like Potter. She was combining the fantastic.
Actually that sounds like a Harry Potter cover ban.
Speaker 2 (03:41):
It should be.
Speaker 3 (03:42):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (03:43):
She's easy to talk to you. She's a great listener.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
She used to take the longer way to my gymnastics
class because it had a steep hill that I.
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Liked going up and down and pretending it was a
roller coaster. Every year, she hides Easter eggs just for me.
Speaker 4 (03:56):
You make a lot of money off those I make
a lot of money. That's amazing.
Speaker 2 (04:00):
I know.
Speaker 4 (04:01):
I feel like I want to come over and so
fun and there's money to be getting all the money.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
My favorite part about Thanksgiving is cooking with her. Well,
we drink Corse light out of silver goblets.
Speaker 2 (04:14):
Oh you fancy, We super fancy. She's brave.
Speaker 1 (04:17):
She's heacked alone in all kinds of isolated places you
can't find online, and she draws maps of those areas
that she is shared with coworkers in this office who've
been curious. And she has this hand drawn map she'll
give you if.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
I need that.
Speaker 2 (04:30):
It's awesome.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
She's happy to try new things like moonshine if you
want to try a John Snow seemed to be here
at a bar she's in, even though she doesn't know
who John Snow. And one of my favorite pictures I've
ever posted on Instagram. I was trying to show her
what a selfie was and instead of looking at the camera,
she kissed me on the cheek and it's one of
my favorite pictures we've ever taken. Oh that's adorable. Yeah.
(04:53):
She volunteers, She helps others. She remembers the little things
that you mentioned and then brings them up years later,
like remember how your favorite so when you were in
seventh grade.
Speaker 2 (05:01):
Was that Matrix song for by Pod And I'm like, no,
but I can't believe you remember.
Speaker 3 (05:08):
That's amazing.
Speaker 1 (05:10):
She indulges me in my silly quest, like going to
every store to find a cheap PlayStation four, which we did.
Speaker 2 (05:16):
It took forever, but we did.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
She didn't laugh at me when I was nine and
cried because I realized I would, in fact, never marry
Ryan Gosling. It was out of the cards. It was
a tough day for me. She's excited to learn new things.
She'll watch a bad movie with me and listen to
me talk about Harry Potter and Marvel all day. She
encouraged me to travel. She forgives where I tried to forget.
(05:38):
She never tries to change me and all my weirdness.
She's my cheerleader and she's in my corner and I
love her and she loves me, and I know that
she does, and her actions and in her words, she
has made it impossible for me to think otherwise, even
on my lowest day. And I could go on and on,
But if she's listening now, she's blushing. Oh, even though
I'd like to do a whole podcast about her, probably
(05:58):
shut it.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
We can, Oh, gosh, I would love to. Don't tempt me.
And my mom and I look a lot of like.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
And sometimes people will come up to me and they'll
think I'm her, And instead of being like angry because
she's older than me, I'm.
Speaker 2 (06:14):
Like, always so flattered by.
Speaker 3 (06:18):
I love that.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
I'll love those pictures of the parent daughter group and
they're like, are they sisters?
Speaker 2 (06:23):
Who is who?
Speaker 3 (06:23):
Who was the older?
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah, she's we do look a lot like I see it.
But yes, this episode is not all about my mom,
but I wanted to talk about her because it's her birthday,
and also she has been a really beneficial and powerful
role model and mentor in my life, and we wanted
to look into why that's so important. And one of
(06:48):
the big things is if you can see it, you
can be it. We've said it so many times on
the show before. It's simplification, but it does open up
so many doors. You may have thought we're closed to you.
If you see someone that you can see yourself in
doing something right. Studies have found this impacts men too.
If men never see women doing a thing, whatever it
(07:10):
might be, they might think women can't.
Speaker 2 (07:13):
Do it either.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
A study out of India found that when exposed to
at least two female village leaders, men were more likely
to vote for women. A recent theory suggests that role
models are helpful in three ways behavioral, inspirational, and potential.
One of the things that has come up a lot
in our female first segments is these amazing women reporting
(07:34):
how hard it was to do everything that they did
without a role model or mentor someone they can look
to to see because they're the first, there was no
one like them to get advice from or to learn from.
Speaker 4 (07:47):
Right. A recent study found that eighty nine percent of
women made more aspirational life goals when around a woman
they admire and middlely. The study was in part sponsored
by Linquisine, but also by NYU College.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
So there's that.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
It found that after a conversation with a woman that
they found inspirational, women were more likely to think about
the things they wanted as opposed to what they believe
society expected of them.
Speaker 1 (08:10):
Having a female role model can help women deal with
all the self doubt and self criticism that often plagues
a lot of us, especially when we do something society
tells us isn't really for women. Isn't a placed women
can succeed in? Isn't a space for women?
Speaker 4 (08:25):
The National Science Foundation recently sponsored a study that found that,
compared to male faculty tenured or tenured track, female faculty
were more likely to have mentors. Female assistant professors with
mentors were more likely to get grants than those without
a mentor.
Speaker 1 (08:39):
A study from the Air Force Academy and two economists
at the University of California Davis found, as reported by
Ray Feisman over at Slate, quote, when a female instructor
was put at the front of the classroom, nearly two
thirds of the grade point gender gap evaporated. The study
authors acknowledged the difficulty of isolating any one thing when
it comes to improving grades, and that's one of the
reasons they chose it was a military college for their study,
(09:01):
with the hopes of minimizing as many of those factors
as possible.
Speaker 4 (09:05):
A different study from KMPG found that women really want
mentorship and really benefit from it. Sixty seven percent reported
that they needed a support group to foster the confidence
they needed to be leaders. The same number indicated they'd
learned the most valuable leadership lessons from other women.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
Several studies have shown mentorship to be especially helpful when
it comes to women in tech. Still, even with a mentor,
the attrition rate for women in STEM fields is one
out of four women compared to one out of ten men.
Speaker 4 (09:35):
The importance of mentoring our young folks can't be underestimated either.
Negative stereotypes about women in STEM impacts girls as early
as twelve and when they started reporting a declining interest.
Speaker 1 (09:46):
A twenty seventeen study found that black students were more
likely to graduate if they had at least one black
teacher between third and fifth grade. Other research found that
women are more likely to enroll in upper level classes
when they've had experience with a female role model in
that field, even a minor one.
Speaker 4 (10:01):
And women can relate to issues faced by other women,
being the only one in the boardroom, salary negotiations, or
being spoken over.
Speaker 1 (10:09):
Men can totally be good mentors for both men and
women too. However, one of the interesting side effects of
the Me too movement is that, according to some studies,
more than half of male managers are now nervous and
avoidant when it comes to working closely with women.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Mentorship is different from sponsorship.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
I just want to put that in there, which is
sponsorship is valuable as well, and this is when someone
in a position of power speaks for you, vouchers for you,
actively helps.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
Advance your career. And I did read there aren't.
Speaker 1 (10:39):
That many pieces out there about this, but there are
some about like stop looking from mentors, which you need
as a sponsor, you could probably benefit from both.
Speaker 2 (10:47):
But you know mentor.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
When we say mentor, a lot of what we're talking
about is informal, although companies do have formal programs. And
if this is something you're interested in, totally.
Speaker 4 (10:58):
Checkingship is an involved process, which is a relationship beyond,
then just let me help you with this one thing.
And I know for my kids having a mentor it
makes a vast difference. Someone that they can turn to,
someone they trust, someone that they can help them in
times of needs without feeling judged.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
And that's a lot of the mentorship. But it's not
judging but helping.
Speaker 4 (11:19):
And I know according to one study, one very important
study about adolescence, the likelihood of them reoffending or going
down a negative path is lessened if they have one
positive influence or mentor in their life and it makes
a vast amount of difference in their future.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
Yeah, so pretty important stuff. And we have some more
important stuff to talk about. But first we have a
quick break for words from a sponsor, and we're back,
(11:58):
Thank you sponsor. So now we want to talk about
If you're hearing this and you're hanging, oh my gosh,
I gotta go out and get me a mentor finding one,
let's talk about that. Like we said, many companies do
offer a formal mentorship program, so be sure to see
if that's an option where you work. However, we could
definitely do better. Overall, a program is valuable because it
(12:21):
normalizes a work culture that promotes learning, growing and asking
for help and just having that structure in place, like
knowing that this person is available or interested, very very helpful.
Of note, you can get a mentor for non work
stuff too, like just somebody in your life, Like my
mom wasn't my mentor for work or anything.
Speaker 2 (12:42):
She's more my role model but also kind of a mentor, right.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
And that's the whole idea that I was saying previously
before the ad is this mentoring is just beyond this
one thing it's a whole life changing process it hopefully yeah,
in a good way.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Yeah. It comes to choosing a mentor a couple things.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
Know what you want out of the relationship and be
able to communicate that. Do communicate that, and don't be
afraid to be selective, be open to hearing constructive criticism,
and to actually heeding advice. Look for someone who has
the experience you want, is qualified and passionate in your field,
and has the bandwidth and desire to be a mentor,
and is generally nice. I would say it will be
(13:25):
a positive influence in your life. And this is more
work stuff, and for me, I had a mentor for
this job, although it was more back when I was
a producer. My old boss, Roxanne, whose voice a lot
of you may recognize as the one that has long
introduced our fellow podcast stuff you should know and stuff
you missed in history class. She was a great listener.
(13:47):
She had your back, she had everyone's back. She made
time out of her day for me, gave me advice
and constructive criticism and praise. She gave me ideas and
also was very straightforward with me about the pros and
cons of like pursuing certain positions at the company and
work home life balance, and to this day we still
meet up.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Very valuable relationship to me.
Speaker 4 (14:10):
I think when it comes to this shop technically you
large from Savor as well as Caroline with a lady
like are my mentors of what the hell am I doing?
Speaker 3 (14:22):
And checking in I'm like, is this good? Is this bad?
Speaker 4 (14:24):
Am I just completely off the chart and trying to
do what I'm doing and all of that. And it's
been really nice to have because I could not imagine
trying to do this and being like, yeah, I don't
know I'm doing because I don't.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
And it's That's another good point is it doesn't have
to be I think when people think of mentors, they
think of someone fifty years older than you, way older
and like, way more qualified. And it doesn't have to
be that way at all. And we'll come back to
that too.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
Surveys and studies show plenty of women are willing to
be mentors. So why is mentoring among women so relatively rare.
The consensus seems to be women are afraid to ask,
or for some reason or another aren't asking. Well. Of course,
time commitment is a big thing as well. If you
want to be a mentor or. If you want a mentor,
don't be afraid. You probably know a woman in your
(15:12):
life happy to step in to fill that role.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
Yeah, it's it's one of those things. It doesn't have
to be a super formal it can be. It doesn't
have to be.
Speaker 4 (15:24):
Sometimes it does feel like it's kind of stalk creation.
I'm like, hey, I really like what you're doing. You
wouldn't be my mentor.
Speaker 2 (15:32):
Well, you just did you say anything in that voice?
It feels a little starrish.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
You didn't like that voice.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
I'm just saying, maybe your approach needs all I'm staring
at you like this.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
Yeah, there's like an eyebrow thing.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
Which is funny because my eyebrows really can't move.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Well, they're doing something right now.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
They're doing sound creepy. Way to go, Samantha.
Speaker 1 (15:57):
Yeah, well, well we'll discuss this after the podcast. And
this brings us to how to be a mentor. According
to a DDI World study, women shy away from being
mentors for three main reasons. Women don't ask other women
to be mentors, a lack of time on the part
(16:19):
of the mentor. Women don't feel they have an appropriate
level of expertise, to mentor, which is that damn imposter
syndrome again. And mentoring it's not a one way street.
It's not only helpful for the mentee, but for the
mentor as well. It's a mutually beneficial relationship, or it
should be. As a mentor, you'll improve your listening skills,
(16:42):
you'll learn, you'll become more compassionate and empathetic, you'll push
yourself to do better. I was a mentor in college
and on and off informally in my career.
Speaker 2 (16:54):
And I found it to be super rewarding.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
And I know I felt some anxiety and being a mentor,
that I wasn't good enough, didn't know enough, And yeah,
I know I'm not the only one that.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Feels like that.
Speaker 1 (17:07):
But the value of just having someone there listening, a
person you can talk to. Don't underestimate that. Like, if
you can do at least those things right, that's a
pretty good foundation.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
I remember once, and I hope no one judges me
for this, but.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
I jokingly told a menti of mine, I guess, in
what was a very serious tone, there is no fate,
no fate, but what make And I was exhausted and
advice is hard and retired and I'm a nerd, and
I really just I was kidding. But weeks later she
came up to me so grateful for my great advice
(17:45):
and yeah that was a quote from T two Judgment Day,
but it helped her.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
You know, Terminator, she never like sees.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
That movie feels such crushing betrayal.
Speaker 3 (17:58):
She stole that lie.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
Well, I didn't know what she was talking about it first, like, well,
what advice? And then later I was like, oh no,
and yes, yes, you should do better than that, better
than spouting quotes from James Cameron movies. But don't let
yourself be too scared away from being a mentor because
you're not perfect.
Speaker 4 (18:18):
I mean, to be fair, you may be and you
just don't know it. That's true when you form some
types of relationships, it becomes kind of that way, when
you're there to help and you could just be I'm
your good friend, but I'm coming in and checking in.
Of course, there's a balance, but you may be mentoring
someone without knowing you're mentoring someone.
Speaker 2 (18:35):
That's totally true.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
There's so many people in my life that I don't
know if they realized the huge impact they had. Ely
and one of them, someone I met in China.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
I was so sad I had to leave.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
I was so sad, and she said, like, very simply,
sometimes people come into your life exactly when you need them,
and then they have to leave.
Speaker 2 (19:00):
And I still think about it to this day. I
was like, does she knew? She knew, but she probably
has no idea. I still think about that.
Speaker 1 (19:08):
Another thing, A lot of the key things a mentee
wants to learn from a mentor isn't so much technical
but more kind of personal. Not personal, but like communication, skills, negotiation, leadership.
So if you're thinking, oh, I can barely do this
job myself, right.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
That was me.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
I'm not putting that on anyone else. But when I
first started editing, I thought that A lot a lot
of people are more like, how do I talk to
my boss? Or how do I sell these skills that
I have? How do I communicate better? How can I
be a better leader? How can I delegate things that
aren't necessarily so skills slash job based.
Speaker 4 (19:48):
I will say, I just used you for that literally
ten minutes ago she did.
Speaker 2 (19:52):
She did.
Speaker 4 (19:54):
So advertise your willingness to mentor if you're in STEM
volunteers speak to schools volunteer working with students.
Speaker 3 (20:01):
Yeah, you know, I think there's a lot to be said.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
I know in colleges they offer older students with younger
students to help in different types of fields or whatnot,
So that's always good to do as well.
Speaker 1 (20:11):
Yeah, and I had that program in my school when
I was in elementary school.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
And Zoe, if you're.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
Listening, Zoe, I remember you, and you really inspired me.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
Yeah, so I.
Speaker 1 (20:25):
Very much see the benefit and things like that. Some tips,
once you find a mentor mentee, have structured meetings with
set times frequencies.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
This is more for the formal stuff.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
Come prepared with goals and objectives as the mentee and
homework as the mentor. And that doesn't have to be
like write this thing out, but more like maybe the
little focus on this and you can work on this
or read this thing or whatever it might be.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
You like the homework, huh do?
Speaker 2 (20:52):
I used to.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Ask for extra homework.
Speaker 2 (20:53):
I was a nerd, not you were, but you were.
Speaker 1 (20:59):
I was just were I Ohmantha, I race it.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
Now you are.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
Typically I'm too, just in different ways.
Speaker 2 (21:07):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
And visibility of how women work, which for a variety
of reasons like children or elder care may be different
than men is really really really really really important.
Speaker 2 (21:17):
Yeah, And my most recent.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Meeting with someone who I wouldn't say she's my mentee,
but she kind of reached out to me and was like, Hey,
I'm interested in doing pursuing kind of what you're doing,
and can we sit down and talk? And I was
very upfront with like, I love my job, but it
means X, Y and Z, it's for my home life,
it means this, and like just being open about what
(21:42):
it really takes for you to do what, especially in
a job like this where there's kind of a public
aspect to it, Like what does it take to get
to where we are right now?
Speaker 4 (21:52):
And that's honestly exactly why I come to you, and
come to people who have been in this field for
a very long time. I'm not gonna pretend like I
know what's going on.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
You know, and it's okay.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
You know your weaknesses, you know your strengths, improve your weaknesses,
and this is how you do it. You seek it
out and it's better to know, yes, obviously, than not know.
And it's better to mint that you don't know. So
how do I find help? And kind of like how
I'm doing. I don't necessarily have an individual mentor. I
literally seek people out in their specialties and or in
(22:26):
their expertise because I know I can get this from
you just kind of how you people come in seasons.
They have attributes and things that you don't know, which
makes it an amazing thing, which is what I love
about meeting new people. You find different things that you're like,
oh wow, I can learn from that, right, do it?
Speaker 2 (22:43):
Oh? Absolutely?
Speaker 1 (22:44):
And I think one article I read kind of going
off of that said you shouldn't be looking for mentors
but friend tours exactly. And so that's another way of
looking at it. If you're not into this whole idea
of like a more structured mentorship, or you're just I
don't want to stay embarrassed, but maybe like a friend
(23:05):
towards an easier thing right for you to pursue.
Speaker 3 (23:08):
I mean, for me, I trust it.
Speaker 4 (23:10):
I have a huge trust issue in general, and I'm
so much better now, But that was part of the thing,
is like, how do I trust you in all these
aspects and I don't want to be disappointed or I
don't want to disappoint you all of those levels and
being able to kind of bring people in your groups
and lovingly do these things and then come up with
(23:31):
a fact like I don't know this aspect again, let's
talk and you teach me about this. Yeah, and then
kind of the same thing with you know, mikex or
takes to social work, so I do get the hey
you're a social worker.
Speaker 3 (23:43):
So yeah, and annoying as that can be.
Speaker 4 (23:46):
Sure, I understand why, and it's actually very appropriate and smart. Yeah,
unless you're asking for a session, then that's weird.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Right, Yeah, don't.
Speaker 1 (23:54):
I feel like a lot of my friends who your
nurses get the hate right like.
Speaker 3 (23:57):
Hey, oh yeah, weird mo.
Speaker 2 (23:59):
Yeah, yeah, we're off what.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
And you start brandowly pointing at scars.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
I mean, yeah, that's a different episode. We're going off track.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Cool. Sorry.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Also, you can have more than one mentor, and you
can have more than one mentee. You can be both
a mentor and a mentee. Your mentor can be your
age or younger, can be older. It can be formal
or informal. No labels as they say these days also
also not quite the same. But seeing it being it
is important when it comes to our media, especially the
(24:31):
media children consume as well. That's something We've talked about
a lot, but worth worth restating. We do have just
a little bit more for you listeners. But first we
have one more quick break forward from our sponsor, and
(24:58):
we're back.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
Thank you sponsor. I wanted to touch.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
Briefly on why this matters, even though I think it's
been sprinkled throughout this episode.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Ready one, there.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
Are more men named Dave than there are women total
on the list of CEOs of the ftse one hundred companies.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Really more men named Dave. Also, I think Dave too, Like.
Speaker 1 (25:18):
There are a bunch of names I saw on different websites.
No Roberts, I don't remember if I saw Robert, but
I Dave stuck out Dave.
Speaker 2 (25:26):
Dave.
Speaker 3 (25:27):
Damn it, Dave.
Speaker 2 (25:28):
What is the quote from two thousand and one? I'm sorry, Dave.
I just can't do that.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
Oh I'm afraid I can't do that, Dave.
Speaker 3 (25:40):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
Andrew, Yes, thank you. Andrew.
Speaker 4 (25:44):
Care reports that although women do sixty percent of the
world's work, we make a measly ten percent of global
income and own less than one percent of the world's property.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
That's that's not my stomach does not like that.
Speaker 3 (25:58):
My whole party of the global income.
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Yeah, wow, one percent of the world's property.
Speaker 3 (26:05):
That's that's absurd.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Yeah, it is.
Speaker 1 (26:11):
Study after study has found that our companies and our
economy as a whole benefits from diversity. Think of how
many ideas we're missing out on by not having women
and other marginalized groups at the table, whatever table that
might be. Think of how many ideas we would have
missed out on if not for women breaking barriers and
overcoming obstacles.
Speaker 4 (26:31):
You know, one of the things I think about social media.
My coworker and I talk about when we were talking
about different issues that are happening and just kind of
catching up and when I'm a coworker at my other
job and she is a very strong black woman and
I love her to death, and one of the things
we're talking about was how she sees Twitter and how
we see Twitter and the differences. And she's like, as
(26:53):
she calls it, black Twitter, I.
Speaker 3 (26:54):
Already knew this. And then white people.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
Are saying, right, bringing this along, Like that's been fifteen years,
and the dynamic of the split is more noticeable now
that we have that social media content of and even
though it's still separated unfortunately and not as consumed or
interchangeably consumed. I guess that's such a dynamic thing. It's like,
what are we missing out on? Yeah, you know, and
(27:16):
then you start realizing because now you have ability to
see that content, which is really really important.
Speaker 2 (27:22):
Absolutely it is.
Speaker 1 (27:25):
And I one thing and I know we've talked about
this before too, but like having that friend who is
the strong person always worth like because sometimes people who
are strong have their their days that are where they're
down to or they are feeling down about themselves as well.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
And I in a.
Speaker 1 (27:49):
Mentor mentee relationship, which can be it doesn't have to be,
but can be more of a like personal friendship relationship.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
Just good to keep that in mind, you.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
Know, check in, check in, right, always check.
Speaker 2 (28:02):
In on people.
Speaker 1 (28:04):
So that's about what we have to say about mentors
and role models today. But we are introducing a new
thing at the end of our episodes.
Speaker 4 (28:14):
We wanted to make sure that, as we had previously
had episodes about supporting women and supporting women in podcasting,
specifically in our field, because we know the statistics, that
we continue to actually emphasize that. And so as I
am learning this whole world of social media, I've been
(28:36):
checking out different Twitter sites, and different podcasts Twitter sites.
Speaker 3 (28:40):
Is that a word?
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Look up to date?
Speaker 4 (28:42):
You are good at this all read what is this?
I was on the Twitter site on the Twitter site,
it told me it tweeted at me. There are so
many people who are asking for suggestions, like female, what
are your favorite female podcasts? Female led podcasts? And so
I'm going through every single one of them, clicking. I'm like, oh,
I like this one and not like this one. So
(29:03):
a few that I saw was Shenangan's with Friends hilarious content.
Speaker 3 (29:07):
I was just like, oh, yeah, I want to be
your friend. Just her.
Speaker 4 (29:10):
She was interviewing a specific person. It was the you
need to go check it out, okay, nerdy bitches, it
would be up your alley. Yeah, it sounds like you know,
and black girls do stuff too. And I enjoyed every
bit of all of those things. And it's really good content.
So if you love listening to our stuff, go check
their stuff out.
Speaker 1 (29:28):
Yeah, And we would love to hear your suggestions for podcasts.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
We should be shouting out.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
If you do a podcast we've heard for some people,
let us know.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
And one of the ways you can do that.
Speaker 1 (29:39):
Is through email what yep on the email site says.
Speaker 4 (29:43):
They call email thing does a tweet at YouTube?
Speaker 2 (29:47):
I think so okay, cool cool.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
I think so Our email is stuff Media mom Stuff
at iHeartMedia dot Com, our Twitter is at mom Stuff podcast,
and Instagram is stuff I've Never told you.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
Thanks is all wait to our super producer Andrew Howard.
He's there, he was there moments ago.
Speaker 4 (30:05):
He decided to leave me because he doesn't like my songs.
Speaker 2 (30:08):
Oh, he loves your songs. And thanks to you for listening.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
Stuff mom Never Told You.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
Is a prediction of iHeart Radio's How Stuff Works. For
more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.
Stuff Mom Never Told You News
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Samantha McVey
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