The Cost of Marriage Today

So you want to get married? It might cost you. SMNTY walks you through the proposal, the planning, the wedding and the get-togethers to see what getting married involves these days. 

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hey, this is Annie and Samantha. I woke the stuff
I've never told you production if I hurt radio.

Speaker 2 (00:18):
Happy Valentine's Day, Annie, Happy Valentine's Day, Samantha.

Speaker 3 (00:23):
We used to spend Valentine's Day together, diad.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
I've gotten kind of slow, like slowly rolling back on it.
I think I will say. Last night we actually had
Gallantine's Sinner, and I told them this when my partner
and his dad, I'm a fairly fancy place there, so
I was like, look at me still doing Galentine's just
without the gal.

Speaker 3 (00:44):
You know, you gotta celebrate how you can.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
However you can. I'm gonna take it. So, yes, it
is Valentine's Day as we record and as it actually
is published, and yes, there's love in the air. Or
maybe we're just gonna have a frank conversation about love
or maybe the symbol of love. Am I right? I
don't know?

Speaker 3 (01:04):
So say, what are we talking about?

Speaker 2 (01:06):
Well, we thought we would come back and revisit a
topic that the show has already kind of talked about previously,
and that's weddings, wedding times, wedding season conversations. People are engaging, engaged,
people have gotten engaged recently, New Year's, Christmas, all those
times are really big times, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:26):
Yeah, no, I didn't know that, but it's so stressful
to me.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
And Valentine's Day is also a big day. Now, we're
not going to actually talk about the traditions or even
the sexist meetings or reasons behind certain traditions or ceremonies,
because we, like I said, I know, there was a
huge conversation. I remember when Kristen got married, she was
having a lot of like inner conversations and inner turmoil

(01:50):
about the traditions and all of this, and I remember
even seeing comments of people being really kind of upset
with her for going down the aisle.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
Yes, Kristen being the founder and past hosts of the show. Yeah,
I have to say, every time we talk about marriage,
it sparks a conversation, a.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
Lot of conversation, and you know what, that's okay, that's wonderful.
And as we have regressed in the US, we're going
to talk more about it. I have a feeling we're
gonna talk a lot more about it, but we're not
necessarily talking about that specifically. We're actually going to talk
about the costs and kind of the trends and breakdowns
of weddings and what's happening within the industry. I will

(02:30):
say this, the majority of this conversation is based on heterosexual,
heteronormative couples. I feel like I need to apologize up
at the top because I didn't go beyond that. But
with that content, it's going to be a full episode already.

(02:50):
We do want to come back and revisit it about
what marriage looks like for the queer community, the marginalized community,
so much more because when we talk about the rollbacks
that have happened in the US, it's gonna greatly affect
all of us. And I say this as a person
of color, so we're not necessarily talking about all of
that again, Like I said, a lot to do for

(03:12):
specific for one episode. Yeah, I do want to talk
about it, Adams. In fact, I'm actually not gonna even
talk about what happened with during COVID. I'll like briefly
mention it. But the dip in marriages and the dip
in the industry and the amount of profits was huge,
billions of dollars huge, but has quickly grown like come back,

(03:34):
it hasn't reached the pinnacle of what it was, but
like all of that, so we're not even talking about that.
We are trying to keep on like most of the
information I've got, I think since from twenty twenty two
to twenty twenty four, obviously twenty twenty five, we haven't
quite gotten all of that information. They do tell us
and give us predictions about the twenty twenty five trends,

(03:55):
and we are going to talk about that because that's
kind of an interesting, fun conversation. I feel very old
by the way in this topic because being in weddings
when I was literally seven, Yeah, like with the minute
I came into the US, I was in a wedding,
to like having and hosting and being in so many
weddings in college, you in high school to now the

(04:18):
way that things have changed is kind of funny and
I feel very aged.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
Interesting. Okay, yeah, just.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
But again with all of that, just keep all of
these things in mind. Also, shout out to the not
We did get a chunk of information from them with
different authors on it, so we're going to try to
credit every author in here and other other statistics, but
but not ended up being like, let me help you
here with some advice. It is their thing. Zola dot
com comes in a little bit as well, and brides

(04:48):
dot com so unsurprising, but the knot was at the top.
Not a sponsor, y'all, not a sponsor. But good right now,
So let's start at the beginning with a proposal. There's
a certain competition to having that right or great proposal?
Am I right? Like there's this level of like, how

(05:08):
are you doing it? Or how I did it? And
people kind of compare. Have you ever thought of an
ideal proposal? Annie? Has I ever been a fantasy thing
for you? No?

Speaker 1 (05:21):
I actually have been proposed to before, though, Yeah, what
is just a long story. It's a long story for me.
It felt like it came out of left field. And
I will say this one time. My thing about the
proposal is if I am someone who I would want

(05:41):
you to talk to me about it beforehand, do not
surprise me out of anywhere. Do not put me in
a lot of pressure in front of a lot of people.

Speaker 3 (05:50):
I do not like that.

Speaker 1 (05:52):
So I was saying this to a kind of a
group of mixed men and women, and it was funny
how many men were like.

Speaker 3 (05:59):
Put the surprised parbor is so good?

Speaker 1 (06:01):
And how many women were like, no, no, don't do that.
At least talk to me about it before, right, don't
just bring it on me. So I have not thought
about that. I have thought when I was a kid,
I did think about like the perfect wedding and dress, right,
but not never the proposal.

Speaker 2 (06:17):
Never. Okay, so you didn't start from there. And I
will say, we don't talk about it here, But in
statistically most people agree with you. I think about forty
five percent of couples said they had talked about it
six to twelve months in advance about what this looked like,
what marriage like. They don't come into it likely, and
even higher percentage about even marriage in general. And I
feel like that should be if that's not a conversation

(06:39):
you're having at all, and you propose there's a big
miscommunication happening, you need to have a secondary talk.

Speaker 1 (06:49):
It's interesting too, because it's funny how much of the
like and again I'm speaking from fan fiction, but I
know it's in wrong comes too. How much it's usually
a surprise, like they don't talk about it. Yeah, so
I guess there's something kind of romantic about.

Speaker 2 (07:05):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (07:07):
Sometimes they both have their rings and they were both
thinking about Ray, like, I don't know.

Speaker 2 (07:13):
But I feel like the older traditions is probably a
little bit more misogynistic with the man owning and like
oh I know the perfect time, you can't tell me
and you don't get a choice in this either, but
trying to romanticize it and being like oh this is
we love surprises and they don't really understand the level,
especially when it comes to rings. I will say, typically
if you are not the one to pick out the

(07:34):
ring with with him again, very headormaous hedonormative heterosexual couples.
Usually a friend goes with them like her friend like
that's do that a lot, which sometimes comes up as
miscommunication like oh no, what are they cheating? I seen
that's but we're not talking about trups today. He quit
talking about trumpes.

Speaker 3 (07:53):
Sorry, do you think about the proposal?

Speaker 2 (07:56):
So for me, I don't think so. I had a
whole lead up about finding the perfect guy for me,
and they had these certain requirements that they had to meet.
It is very like specific, weird requirements. And I actually
told my partner and he was like, yeah, I would
have never gotten those that because like one of them
was like he will give me a single white rose.

(08:17):
He has never given me a single white rose. Why white?
I don't know. I don't even like roses. But it
was very specific details. But the proposal part no, I
remember being like, every time I see a public proposal,
the way my heart stops, that thought makes me want
to vomit.

Speaker 3 (08:35):
Yeah, I'm nervous, right right.

Speaker 2 (08:39):
And like cause you put But again, this has been
one of those conversations later on where like that becomes
a tactic administulation and trying to get you to say
yes and not being able to say no, and then
when they do, everybody's embarrassed. Everybody's embarrassed. But all of that, yes,
So what are some trends when it comes to popping
the question? I love that phrase. While there's still the

(09:01):
classic of doing it with personalization and unique experiences such
as using an heirloom jewelry which is beautiful, going back
to the place you first met or started dating, you know,
sentimental places, but if you wanted to class it up,
there are some suggestions from effortless events dot com. Again,
none of these sites or any of these because a
lot of them are venues or like how tos or

(09:24):
all that they're not our sponsors. It currently, nobody's getting
married here. We're just they just give us a lot
of advice. Okay, so you can customize proposal settings. Personalized
proposal locations like scenic beach backdrops, romantic rooftop setups, and
private luxury yachts are on the rise. Any whoa just

(09:47):
in case if he doesn't get me A yeah, I
don't want it.

Speaker 3 (09:49):
I'm just kidding, sick I do.

Speaker 2 (09:52):
I don't need you to think about all of the
rational reasons behind things. I just need you to know
via effort. Right. No. I also say experienced focus proposals
blending travel with adventure. Think hot air balloon rides or
grand travel surprises as backdrops for those marriage proposals.

Speaker 3 (10:13):
I'm just seeing everything go wrong.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
Everything fallen out, fallen out, the hot air balloon, and
that's the end.

Speaker 3 (10:24):
I did have a friend.

Speaker 1 (10:25):
I don't think it ever actually happened, but they were
supposed to renew their vows on a hot air balloon. Well, actually,
this story is better than I'm making it sound. I
have a friend whose grandmother was supposed to anewhere about air.

Speaker 2 (10:39):
That's intense. I don't they like the adrenaline?

Speaker 1 (10:42):
I think so it's Dylan's grandmother, by the way, our
friend the show and past producer. Okay, but those aren't
their only ideas. What about using technology to your advantage?
They suggest augmented reality AR proposals. Couples are leveraging AR

(11:03):
to create personalized virtual experiences where holographic images deliver their
proposal message proposal video production. Our experience has shown that
drone videography and cinematic proposal reels are becoming the norm
for capturing moments in high definition.

Speaker 2 (11:19):
Oh the drones. I could see that. What's so funny
is just watched a K drama in which they use
a drone light show oh to propose? Oh yeah man,
all yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:31):
A lot of work, a lot of technology.

Speaker 2 (11:33):
There's a lot of money going in from page.

Speaker 3 (11:36):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (11:36):
Of course, with these ideas, there could be something a
bit different people could try. Recently, I've seen an uptick
and women proposing to men in the again the heterosexual relationships,
or what leverly dot Com calls proposing back. Here's a quote.
Not sure you are comfortable proposing to a guy? Consider

(11:58):
the idea of proposing back, i e. Planning your own
special date night and presenting him with a ring in
the weeks after he proposes to you.

Speaker 3 (12:07):
I don't I don't hate that idea.

Speaker 2 (12:09):
I don't hate it, not only as a celebration, but
you're kind of getting it back. I like that.

Speaker 3 (12:14):
I like that.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
Loverly also gives another new trendy idea, don't use rings
to propose, use a puppy. Who Here's another quote from
that article. While some women love jewelry and are super
excited about the idea of a shiny new ring as
an engagement gift, there are plenty of women who aren't
crazy about it. But there's no rule that says a

(12:37):
ring has to accompany a proposal. We'd like to see
more couples embracing non traditional engagement gifts that feel right
to them. Whether it's a down payment on a condo,
a fabulous trip, or a cool piece of art, the
only real requirement is that it's meaningful to the couple.
The world is ready for creative engagement gifts. Seriously, who

(12:57):
could say no to an engagement puppy?

Speaker 2 (13:00):
Right? So, I guess in addition to the ring, you
could buy these things. I've seen people talk about engagement
gifts as well, so like this is this is for
us blah blah blah on top of the ring.

Speaker 1 (13:11):
Yeah, I mean I know, I personally know a lot
of people who legitimately really don't like the diamond industry
right and would be very angry to receive a ring,
right or unless it was something very simple. So this
makes sense to me. I mean, right, It's just kind

(13:31):
of a strange thing because the ring is supposed to
represent to other people that you're married in some ways, I.

Speaker 2 (13:37):
Know, like in places like South Korea, they don't do that.
They have recently they jumped on board with it, but
typically they don't. I find it interesting because a lot
of my friends because of that specific reason, didn't use diamonds.
They would use sapphire or their birthstone or their favorite stones,
which isn't too far off from diamonds, you know, like

(13:58):
they would use other types of rings in order to
like represent it instead of an actual diamond. H Do
you have an ideal engagement item if you were to
be proposed to m.

Speaker 1 (14:14):
A very rare star wars something surprise?

Speaker 3 (14:19):
Yeah? Travel, I think I would like travel.

Speaker 2 (14:22):
Yeah. Yeah, travel would be my probably go to uh yeah,
and what is the cost of a proposal? Like I said,
this seems really costly. Obviously, this will have a lot
to do with your plans. Beach proposal not so costly
unless you're you know, have to travel across country or
out of country to do so. Unless you started adding
like private locations, surprise photographers and maybe even on an

(14:43):
engagement proposal, celebration with friends after the fact during the fact,
who knows, uh, that will push the tab up pretty quickly.
And what if you do go traditional and buyerying instead
of that puppy? Well, first, how do you choose that
perfect ring, that perfect one? Here's some interesting information and

(15:04):
information from the nott dot com I toko. People use
Pinterest or some type of social media for help, and yes,
Pinterest is still one of the best size to use.
So here's a quote. While Pinterest was the most popular
destination among social media platforms, sixty two percent got ideas
from Instagram. Of course, we know you're wondering about the
gen z boost app TikTok. About thirty four percent use

(15:26):
the short form video platform, an increase of five percent
since twenty twenty three. It says it's never too early
to get your fyp on hashtag wedding.

Speaker 1 (15:35):
Talk okay, and interestingly, the cost of rings are actually down.
According to their research, the Non States quote price is
officially the most important factor to proposers when looking for
engagement rings in this economy. There's a reason why. Historically,
and for context, respondents ranked the cut slash shape as

(15:57):
the most important feature over price. They wanted to get
their partner's dream rock, after all. However, in twenty twenty four,
proposers ranked price as the most important quality, followed by
cut slash shape as the second, in quality as the third.

Speaker 2 (16:12):
And they continue they want to maximize the value of
their purchase. With inflation concerns affecting consumers across the country,
the shift doesn't come as a complete surprise. Further fueling
this new engagement trend is the fact that the average
cost of an engagement ring has been steadily decreasing over
the years. Our survey found that shoppers now spend an
average of five two hundred dollars on their proposal piece.

(16:33):
That number was five thousand, five hundred and twenty twenty
three and five thousand, eight hundred and twenty twenty two.
Back in twenty twenty one, it was a whopping six thousand.
What's fascinating, though, is that the average carrot size has increased.
Our twenty twenty four survey indicates that the average carret
size of an engagement ring is one point seven carrots,
up from one point six in twenty twenty three. However,

(16:56):
a majority of engagement rings also feature side stones or
an additional gems within the setting, meaning rings continue to
increase in overall size. Now nearly forty percent of engagement
rings feature stones that are over two carrots. This represents
a twenty two percent spike since twenty fifteen.

Speaker 1 (17:13):
And the popularity of lab grown diamonds has increased as well.
Here's another quote from the nott dot com. Our data
reveals that over half fifty two percent of all engagement
rings feature a lab grown center stone, which is up
six percent from last year. Looking further back, lab grown
diamonds made up just twelve percent of engagement rings in

(17:34):
twenty nineteen, showing just how quickly this trend has skyrocketed. Meanwhile,
twenty two percent of respondents in twenty twenty four reported
that their ring has a mined diamond, down three percent
from the previous year.

Speaker 2 (17:47):
Also pretty big significance. And so what are some of
these styles for today? You know? Here's some more numbers
for you again from the not dot com. Round shaped
diamonds have been the most popular engagement ring style in
the US, but that may be replaced by a new
shape very soon. Twenty eight percent of engagement rings feature
a round cinder stone, but the second most popular shape

(18:10):
is the oval, which accounts for twenty five percent of
all designs. That's up a staggering twenty three percent since
twenty fifteen, when it was in just two percent of
engagement rings. Peoples have a lot of choices when it
comes to this ring, a lot of shapes, the oval,
the tear, so mini I really get confused because I'm like,
what's happening, What's happening the diamond, the princess cut. I

(18:34):
don't know what the princess cut does. Do you know
what that is? No?

Speaker 1 (18:37):
But I have to tell you this. Not a sponsor.
Hidden Valley Ranch made a lab grown diamond with Ranch,
I guess, and they it says on the band I
heart HVR Hidden Valley Ranch. And somebody won or like no,

(19:00):
they auctioned it off to use in their wedding. But
I sent this story to Bin Boll and he was like,
how could you do this to me because he doesn't
like Ranch and he doesn't like diamonds.

Speaker 2 (19:15):
He hated you were like, hey, j Justin Kay's one
day heading Valley can help you, so you might want
to be team Ranch. Also my Branch. So that's interesting
people are doing. I'll tell you what that's true. People
are doing if nothing else. So now you've had the
ideal proposal, you've got the cut of the ring or

(19:35):
non ring, you got the puppy, whatever you want. Let's
talk about the trends we are seeing in the engagement phase.
Oh I'm meant to tell you, Oh damn it. At
the very beginning of the show is going to be like, hey, Annie,
will you talk about wedding trends with me?

Speaker 3 (19:52):
Well I will.

Speaker 2 (19:54):
Okay, great, and we're gonna go ahead and do in
the middle of it because it's even better. Yeah, So
let's talk about it. We are now engaged. I've we've
given each other whatever objects, your star wars and my puppy. Okay,
we're here. So outside of the fun engagement parties that
we may be having, we also have the planning and
engagement photos. I mean, if you're truly in it to
win it, in fact, The previous not dot Com article

(20:17):
talks about the fact couples often immediately start the planning process.
Quote after the proposal, couples are letting the adrenaline of
getting engaged propel them into a wedding planning over half.
Fifty seven percent of all couples reported that they begin
planning their nuptials less than one month after the proposal,

(20:37):
while twenty three percent begin planning one to two months later.
In total, that means eighty percent of fiances are beginning
to plan their wedding within two months of their engagement.
I feel like that's reasonable.

Speaker 1 (20:49):
I think that's reasonable. I wonder because I've had friends
have done the long engagement, you know.

Speaker 3 (20:55):
The ten years.

Speaker 2 (20:56):
I don't want to think about it. Yeah, movie about it.
Actually it's probably not the same premise, but still the
long engagement we know, we know, yes, and also not
a sponsor. I've never seen that obviously. I think it's
a war movie. It's a war movie that I know.
I just know that's the term a it exists into story. Okay,

(21:17):
that's a different thing. Just saying no, it's still long engagement.
It's true. But oh then comes the engagement photos. Of course, Again,
not all couples do this, but it has become more popular.
According to simple eelope dot com, just like any other
photo sessions, the cost of varies. There are costs based
on hours, packages, and experiences. So they write the average

(21:40):
price for engagement photos ranges from about three hundred dollars
to one thousand dollars. For a two hour session, you
might be looking at five hundred to fifteen hundred and
so this was as of October twenty twenty four. And
we're gonna talk a little bit about like photography budgets,
but they make some money if you're good at it
and if you can get hired, which is because it
is a pretty inundated industree. Is what I've discovered.

Speaker 1 (22:01):
Yeah, because I think if you're trying to be a photographer,
it's like, I mean, it's still a scale, but I
feel like, you know, wedding photography is one you can
do even if it's not the thing you want to
do right to help you make money until.

Speaker 2 (22:14):
It makes the money. When you're trying to do your
art or real estate. I feel like real estate and
that are the two big ones that are like this
is what I'll do for now to make the money,
but this is what I want to do. What it
takes artistry to get.

Speaker 3 (22:29):
Yes.

Speaker 2 (22:30):
And one of the big twins I've seen our TikTok
is ripping wedding photographers. So if you're not good.

Speaker 3 (22:36):
People is what I'm oh I see.

Speaker 2 (22:38):
Yeah, of course this is just an estimate, and there
are ways to cut down, like having a good friend
with a good phone doing some heavy duty editing and
hiding in the corner or pretending like they're doing some
surprise thing. You can do that for your engagement photos.

Speaker 1 (22:52):
Do I definitely had a friend who did that for
some of our friends.

Speaker 3 (22:57):
You're good at it.

Speaker 1 (22:58):
Go And if you were stuck in trying to plan
the wedding, the new trend may be a I again
from the experts.

Speaker 3 (23:06):
From the NOT.

Speaker 1 (23:09):
Writer Esther Lee says this quote a declaration of the
most leveraged twenty twenty five wedding planning trend, the adoption
of AI to help engaged couples with the planning experience.
If you don't believe as though we came with the receipts.
According to the NOT Worldwide twenty twenty five Wedding Trends
to Watch report, the rise of Artificial intelligence for engaged

(23:31):
couples has increased, with twenty percent of couples now utilizing
AI driven wedding planning tools to help with communication, etiquette,
and inspiration. The number of AI users has doubled year
over year, from one in ten to one in five,
with both vendors and couples using it to their benefit.
In fact, we'll let you in on a secret. Even

(23:53):
the not Style quiz is powered by AI to help
couples refine their wedding themes.

Speaker 2 (24:00):
Yeah, so we wanted to leave that last comment because
I thought it was funny, But like, I don't think
we understand how much AI is being used in general
to generate things like quizzes that people actually do use,
or try to generate colors or schemes or like any
of that. A lot of it is AI, even though

(24:20):
we think it's just photoshop.

Speaker 3 (24:21):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (24:23):
So Zola dot Com agrees and says quote seven percent
of couples admit to already using at least one AI tool,
while eleven percent are planning to incorporate it incorporate it
into wedding planning, thirty six percent are considering it but
not sure yet. And in total, this equates to fifty
four percent who said yes or maybe versus forty six

(24:45):
percent who are unlikely to use AI. That's a good
chunk of people who are like eh, And this is
kind of that whole level of like using digital media.
And we do talk a little bit about that in
order to plan it instead of having an actual coordinator,
which they still exist. Yeah, they're out there. Please give
them business if you can't. So we have talked about

(25:16):
the engagement phase and we are deciding how to go forward. Right,
we are at the wedding planning phase and paying phase.
So what does this look like? Are you ready any
cake tasting? Right? First, let's look at the trends and
see what these cool couples are doing now, because you know,

(25:37):
my way is not cutting it. According to a Sciphi
eventgroup dot com, there are a few returns in traditions,
such as an elaborate wedding cake. US millennials, we're loving
on some cupcakes and even donuts like I love that.
Give me my donut, Hi, give it to me, Let
me have it, let me have it. Buy cookies, so

(25:58):
many cookies. But it's it seems the typical multi tiered
cake is back. With elaborate decorations. Of course, I hope
we're keeping the added figures, like the dog, you know,
the little dog figuring that nibbles at the cake. I'm
not gonna lie to Gus Cube. I know you don't
love dogs, but I like it. Anie, Okay. And with that,

(26:20):
the traditional fancy veil is back in fashion. They launt
that long, very detailed, eloquent veil back. Apparently really good
for pictures.

Speaker 3 (26:29):
Okay, for pictures.

Speaker 2 (26:31):
And I guess the giant feathers and birds that we
had witnessed in Sex and the City movie, now it's done.

Speaker 1 (26:38):
That's yeah, I can understand that. But they did talk
about some new editions, including hiring wedding content creators along
with the photographers of geographers. Here's what they write, quote,
couples are hiring professional content creators to record footage via

(26:58):
their cell phones to have plenty of content to create
their own media with. These creators capture the raw footage
and small moments that are beautiful to watch back after
you're married. While professional photos and videos naturally take a
good deal of time to be ready, this type of
content can be delivered in twenty four to forty eight
hours for a newlywed couple to enjoy posts and announce

(27:19):
their marriage.

Speaker 2 (27:21):
I'm gonna tell you what, this trend has a lot
of haters, and there's people who are like why why
because for all, for the most part, I know, one
of the bigger trends at actual weddings is to put
up your phones or even some people like have baskets
to collect phones. Like I've seen it go that intense

(27:42):
because people were so tired of other people trying to
like film the wedding instead of not being present or
blocking views or blocking the actual professional views. That's been
a conversation where the person like, y'all you can see
is the back of the head of a person in
their camera and can't see the like but here we
have actual people hired to you their phone to do

(28:02):
some reels and such and for more context, a story
of your Day dot com defines a wedding content creator
like this. A social media wedding content creator specializes in
creating content for social media platforms like TikTok, Instagram, wills, YouTube,
and more. Their focus is on capturing, curating, visually appealing,
and engaging content that is tailored for online consumption and sharing.

(28:25):
They often utilize creative editing techniques and trendy music to
produce content that is optimized for social media algorithms and
appears to a wider audience. So I'm not going to
call her a hater. I'm not because they are. This
person from the site is a specific professional wedding videographer
and again doesn't really endorse content creating. I think she's

(28:48):
just in her blog talking about why it's not the
same thing and the differences between. So her definition for
them are very like specific and like unbiased, but her
conversation about them as well, like why they're not necessary
versus what she does. I think they're trying to differentiate
it once again what they do. Again, it's compared to

(29:10):
content creations because some people may just go opt out,
like the videographer altogether, to go for the content creator
because you never know. I know, a lot of the
times of your videographer and photographer could be from one company,
which makes a lot of sense. But this person too
is a world renowned from what I gather like and
she's based in the UK, not a fan, not a fan,

(29:33):
and I get it. I get it. It's an interesting
conversation because also there's a lot of other trends that
go with that that could be for content. Yeah, don't
have to hire specifically.

Speaker 3 (29:44):
Yeah, that's that's why didn't you sound like so much
work to me?

Speaker 2 (29:50):
Halfway through this episode, Annie.

Speaker 3 (29:53):
I'm already tired.

Speaker 2 (29:54):
Man with me.

Speaker 1 (29:58):
Also, more weddings, are you using interactive guestbooks? Here's another
quote from that article. You may have already seen or
heard about audio guestbooks. They come with an adorable phone,
usually with a vintage style, and your guest can leave
a voicemail that's recorded to you to listen to after
your wedding. A new recorded guestbook trend has arrived in

(30:20):
the form of QR codes. These codes could be shared
with guests at your wedding, and even friends and loved
ones who were unable to attend for them to leave
you a photo and a message signed Jinga pieces, custom
custom cornhole games, and puzzle pieces are just a few
other interactive guestbook ideas we've seen. We predict creative guestbooks

(30:42):
will definitely be on the list of twenty twenty five
wedding trends.

Speaker 2 (30:47):
I do it like for a while, like videography, like
video messages to rise and grooms or a thing as well,
like little backdrops and you can say congratulations. I mean,
that's the same thing as a vo for going around
taking like videos of the guests. Uh, have you tried
any of the nutrients? Like, have you been to a
wedding that has any other nutrients?

Speaker 3 (31:09):
I don't think so.

Speaker 1 (31:10):
I mean the closest I've gotten to this, I would say,
is not a new trend, but it's when they leave
like the disposable cameras on the table and you just
go around and take pictures and then they collect them
at the end. That's probably the closest I got. I
did somebody who did like an actual digital guest book
where you could sign in and write a message.

Speaker 3 (31:31):
But yeah, nothing like nothing like this.

Speaker 2 (31:35):
I've done the phone that I've gone to a wedding
with a phone message. I thought that was cute, But
at the same time, it was so loud in the background.
I don't know if they heard.

Speaker 3 (31:43):
I don't know what.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
I'm not sure. So, but with all of this, it
doesn't just have to be a single day or even
a day or two. According to Estherley from the previous
not dot com article, it's about the whole experience. Here's
the quote. Activities are a post pandemic trend that has
only grown with more involvement over the years. People want

(32:05):
to hang with friends and loved ones for the weekend,
says Alison Hotchkiss of Alison Events. So we've seen more
activities like pickleball tournaments, mini races like three k's over
five k runs that sounds awful, scavenger hunts, golf tournaments,
board games, and more. Our team has seen the beach
and pool parties, farewell seals, and much much more so,

(32:28):
like they are talking about a whole event, like they
do these big giant games or events and tournaments. If
you make me run, I'm not coming to your wedding.
Just want you to know.

Speaker 3 (32:39):
It's not even that you're just not coming to the wedding.

Speaker 2 (32:42):
Yeah, I'm done. Okay, you might not even get a president,
we might not be friends anymore. What is wrong with you? So,
their article continues to explain that the experience may even
include a friendly wager. Now I will say I think
I've had bingo, but anyway, here we go. So lately,

(33:02):
couples are even opting to integrate games into their nuptials.
A wedding reception trends to watch. Examples include lighthearted wagers
over whether the bride will have an outfit change or
if the band will play ed Cheran. Weddings are evolving
into more interactive, personalized celebrations, says Greg Stall, founder of

(33:22):
the app betting on the Wedding. Couples want to give
their guests an experience and have them feel involved beyond
just attending. I feel like if you have to bet
on a wedding, you might have a problem.

Speaker 1 (33:36):
Yeah, I think if you, like you said, like, I
could see a bingo thing being fun like funny, but
if it's like you're actually betting, I don't know what
bad song are they gonna play?

Speaker 2 (33:47):
You know?

Speaker 3 (33:48):
Here we go?

Speaker 2 (33:48):
You know, Like I feel like that's more of like
an inside joke that you're making fun of a couple.
That's just not nice. Yeah, let me have my ed
cheering if I want it.

Speaker 3 (33:56):
That's true, that's true.

Speaker 1 (33:57):
There's a there's a fine line there, there's a I
can see it working, but it's got a delicate dance.

Speaker 2 (34:03):
Like who was this? Are you? Are you like a
phnomy or are you like what's happening? Or do you
have a gambling addiction. Should I make concerned? I love it.
I will. I will say I did not look into
betting on the wedding, so I know nothing about them,
so it may be completely fine. I'm just being silly.
But that's an interesting concept. I'll give him that.

Speaker 3 (34:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (34:25):
Yeah, I have to say. The last wedding I went to,
which happens to be a super producer doing, he did
a really cool thing where there was like a couple
of events over the weekend and they were all optional.
So it was like karg one night and like bowling
one night, and so that was really fine where you
could kind of pick and choose go to the wedding

(34:47):
and then let's do karaoke and then the next day
I'll do bowling.

Speaker 3 (34:50):
But I didn't go to the brunch because it was early. No,
been out of karaoke last night.

Speaker 2 (34:56):
I can't do that all that. I can't do all that,
thank you. Yeah. So, one of the new trends we
mentioned earlier was having a content creator on hand to
be able to post your magical day, and social media
has definitely impacted wedding days from the fact people are
more likely to get inspiration through social media such as
Pinterest or Instagram. They can also connect easier to venues

(35:18):
and vendors as well. So here's a quote from testify
dot com. Enterprise Apps Today shows that sixty four percent
of people take wedding ideas from Pinterest. Furthermore, get nux
reveals that seventy six percent of US couples resort to
online resources for wedding planning in this digital age. These
aren't just supplementary statistics, but indicators of a monumental shift

(35:40):
in the wedding market, transitioning from traditional planning methods to
online platforms. But it's also about showing off the wedding
as well. Usage of things like hashtags or QR codes
has allowed for people outside of your invited guests to
appreciate all your efforts. Here's another quote from the testify
dot com. You create an online community centered around your

(36:02):
big day and enhance the overall experience for you and
your guests. And there's the magic. Through the lens of hashtags,
community feedback, and real time inspiration, social media for weddings
become more than just a planning tool. It becomes a
platform for expression and connection. But as that quote hints,

(36:22):
the usage of a hashtag can be a great tool
in the planning process. Again from justify dot com, a
hashtag is a simple, powerful tool in the world of weddings.
Crafting a perfect wedding hashtag has become as integral to
the planning process as picking a venue or a wedding dress.
And honestly, the more creative the hashtag, the more pois

(36:43):
you get. Right, right, have you thought of one? Do
we have? If we had a wedding, what would our
hashtag be? Oh, we gonna have to think about this.

Speaker 3 (36:59):
We're gonna have to think of about it.

Speaker 2 (37:00):
I did. Someone needs to like workshop this with us.

Speaker 1 (37:03):
Yes, please, I will think about it. I had a
friend who did one based on their cat. I can't
remember what it was, but they handed out like gifts
like koozies that had their cat on them and there
was a hashtag. Oh yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3 (37:19):
You know.

Speaker 1 (37:19):
The unfortunate thing about this another couple I know, and
I'm definitely not gonna say who they are. I posted,
you know, beautiful picture of them getting married and I
was like, oh wow, true love and they got divorced
not too after.

Speaker 3 (37:35):
So sometimes it's social media think.

Speaker 2 (37:39):
It doesn't always help. Well, those are the things like
you can have a great hashtag. I like been to
weddings where the wedding is photographically beautiful, but there's a
lot behind the scenes, you know, if you have a
good last name, like a pony last name, which actually
my partner does, so I couldn't imagine we're not planning it.

(38:00):
This is not this is not a wishless but like
he he has a pretty good last name. I think
it'd be something funny. I do not have a great
last name, not not punworthy. Yeah, you have a good
last name too, it's punworthy. It is something that Candy
would be everywhere. You know. One thing we don't talk

(38:22):
about in this is having a lot of people trying
to get brands to sponsor their wedding by sending out
or like sending out invitations to them to get gifts.
Have you seen this. This is a huge trend where
they send out invitations to like corporations they love or
businesses they love, so like if you love doctor Pepper
like Amy does, like Amy does, sending that to them

(38:45):
to see if they'll send you back, and sometimes they will.
Sometimes you might get a spoon or a towel or
a congratulations if you make it viral. If you have
a viral video, sometimes they will sponsor your wedding or
at least give you something like maybe some type of
alcohol for you course, who knows, So.

Speaker 3 (39:00):
Walking down the aisle like a resister.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
Yes, or you'll be walking down or your reception is
all just course, nothing, no champagne, no wines, just course,
no water, no nothing. But yeah, like that's a huge
ten that we haven't talked about, but we won't be
talking about. But that has happened a lot recently. It's
a hidden miss if you can get some free stuff,
though I don't blame you.

Speaker 3 (39:21):
Yeah, yeah, all right, all right.

Speaker 1 (39:37):
Not necessarily a trend, but because of social media, it
has helped people find venues a lot easier. From triples
dot com quote, if you're a venue host weddings, it's
likely that you have a Facebook page, and if not,
we recommend you create one. This allows couples to easily
search for venue options that fit their needs and read
reviews from past clients. On a venues page, potential client

(40:00):
can see pictures from past weddings you've hosted, which helps
illustrate different ways that your space can be transformed. Facebook
has also made venues more accessible through its messenger feature.
This allows interested parties to instantly message the venues' Facebook
admin with any questions they have about your location.

Speaker 2 (40:19):
So this article was written in twenty twenty. It's a
little bit dated in the middle of the pandemic and
is probably again outdated. Using Facebook as a reference point
makes it feel fairly dated, like if that's your one
central we obviously haven't like. Five years makes a big difference,
especially the last five years. From a recent survey completed

(40:40):
by Zola dot com, the gen Zers they love some
ticktoc love some tick doc, So ninety two percent of
gen Zers said that social media is an essential part
of their planning process, the highest percentage of any generation,
which is not surprising. Pinterest remains the number one source
of weddingspo overall, but the second slot is caught in
a generational battle between gen z who are all about

(41:01):
wedding TikTok or who are all about hashtag wedding talk,
and millennials who turn to Instagram for their daily dose
of wedding planning. So I think that's interesting because also
a lot of the Instagram reels we know our tiktoks, right,
So kind of this. What in the same? Okay, So
just to throw out some random facts in the middle

(41:23):
of this, here are some facts from Steviraay Entertainment dot
com and this was from twenty twenty two. Every year,
an average of two point four million weddings are performed
in the US and about one hundred and fifty thousand
per year in Canada. That makes me laugh because why
is Canadian? Is it just a less population. Maybe that's
a huge difference. That's a huge difference. I'll also go

(41:45):
back and look at that. Today's median age for the
first time brides is twenty eight years old, for grooms
is thirty second marriage meeting age is thirty two, and
groom is thirty five. That is so strong.

Speaker 3 (42:00):
What yeah?

Speaker 2 (42:02):
Also I bypassed both. I so you we bypassed both
of these years. We're running bay.

Speaker 3 (42:09):
Our marriage will maybe it'll do it, It will last.

Speaker 2 (42:12):
Now, so sixty seven percent of women continue to wear
the same fragrance they wore on their wedding day. I
thought that was a random fact. Okay. The number one
wedding city in the US and number two in the world.
Can you guess Las Vegas with an average of one
hundred and twenty thousand weddings per year. The number one

(42:32):
in the world is Istanbul with one hundred and sixty
six thousand, which is kind of surprising. I would have
never thought of Istanbult for a wedding, but maybe because
Las Vegas is right here. Yeah, the surprising one to me,
and it makes sense being in the state of Georgia.
And I think at least two of my siblings have
married here. By the way, the number two wedding city

(42:54):
in the US is Gatlinburg, Tennessee, with forty two thousand weddings, which,
by the way, again here's difference in numbers. But Vegas,
Vegas is the spot. Vegas is that spot.

Speaker 1 (43:05):
Could get married to drive through in Vegas by Elvis.

Speaker 3 (43:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (43:10):
The number three wedding city in the US is New Orleans,
with an average of thirty six thousand marriages a year. Again,
this is all in twenty twenty two, so I am
interested in the new numbers, but I'm like, huh, Callenburg.
Most people don't even know where that is, which makes
me laugh.

Speaker 1 (43:25):
We used to my friend group used to go. That
was our Valentine's Day place. We would go for a
cabin weekend I don't.

Speaker 2 (43:33):
Know a lot of people do. They got caples up there?
You could. I think you could also get married by
h and Elvis Mabe if you want to. I'm pretty
sure you can. So let's talk about costs. How much
is all of this going to cost? Going back to
our experts at the no dot com Kim Forrest Rights,
the national average cost of a wedding in twenty twenty

(43:54):
three was thirty five thousand dollars, which is a five
thousand dollars increase from twenty twenty two's average wedding cost
of thirty thousand dollars. You might be wondering what led
to this increase. Notably, nationwide inflation in twenty twenty two
led to an increase in the cost of many goods
and services in the wedding industry, which affected an overall

(44:14):
increase in total wedding expenses.

Speaker 1 (44:18):
And they break down the numbers a bit more quote
on average, our data shows that couples hire fourteen vendors
in total. Notably, couples are increasingly investing in wedding planners.
Thirty seven percent hired a wedding planner in twenty twenty three,
up from thirty percent in twenty nineteen. A wedding planner
can help couples prioritize their wedding funds efficiently to maximize

(44:41):
overall spending.

Speaker 2 (44:43):
Right, They usually have connections too, so yeah, yeah, but again,
twenty nineteen was pre pandemic and those numbers are like
I said, we didn't talk about that, but we don't
talk about that in this one. But it dipped pretty far.
So those increases, it would be interesting to know what from, Like, yeah,
like you know, immediately after two.

Speaker 1 (45:02):
But you know, I did go to a wedding at
twenty twenty October twenty twenty, and it was really it
was just tense because yeah, we're all by mask and
the photographers.

Speaker 3 (45:16):
So the first time I took a COVID test after that,
I was like, I definitely have to go.

Speaker 2 (45:23):
Yeah. So for more detail from Visualcapitalist dot com writer
Bruno Venditti post which was originally for that app, Voroni
a breakdown of wedding costs nationwide. So the most expensive
states in the US are New Jersey at fifty five
thousand dollars for weddings, New York forty nine thousand dollars,

(45:45):
in Connecticut at forty four thousand dollars, and the cheapest
are Kentucky, Idaho, and Montana at twenty thousand dollars. In
Utah at seventeen thousand, Georgia was sitting at thirty thousand,
with Ohio, Oregon, and Washington, which I found interesting that
that's such just like stretch on the map, because I

(46:06):
was interested. Once again, Las Vegas, Hello, is the number one.
They sit not Nevadasis at seventeen thousand, three hundred and
thirty six dollars, which is pretty is cheaper than Georgia.
So you know what I get it, Let's go to Vegas.
I'll spend an extra two hundred dollars on the ticket.
I'm just kidding. I don't want to get married in
Vegas and you don't take me to Vegas. Oh, don't

(46:29):
do it, Okay, I don't want to. So how does
the US rank when it comes to internationally? We are expensive,
the most expensive. Actually we win. Hey, I can't imagine
what's gonna happen in the next four years. From Statista
dot com, As of twenty twenty three, the average cost
of a wedding in the US is at thirty five thousand,

(46:49):
followed by the UK at twenty eight thousand, five hundred
and France sits at twenty one thousand, eight hundred and
Colombia is the cheapest at five thousand, two hundred and
fifty that they listed, that they listed, I should put
that there. I hon'tastily thought France would be more expensive. Yeah,
just with all of the islands and then Paris, you know,
the City of Love. Yeah, well, I guess that's Chicago.

(47:13):
Is that Chicago? So Philly Philly? You know how they
had those little sayings Philly is brotherly right? Or is
that Chicago?

Speaker 3 (47:23):
I think?

Speaker 2 (47:23):
Well, y'all tell me because I'm all over the spot. Interestingly,
another site s in Travels uses packages as a way
to research uh about the costs and and efficiency that
they found that France was more expensive than the UK,
but doesn't have the US at all as a part
of this conversation, I guess people outside of the US

(47:46):
wouldn't pick the US as a destination wedding spot. Fair enough,
if you're in the if you're in Europe, you're like,
I'm not gonna go to Vegas. I think I'd rather
go to Istanbul pressly, But if we as a US
wanted to US citizens. I guess wanted to go international

(48:08):
for destination wedding? Right? What would that look like?

Speaker 1 (48:12):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (48:12):
My?

Speaker 1 (48:13):
Well, going back to the dot com, Dianehall writes quote.
According to the not twenty twenty three Real Wedding Study,
traveling to a destination to get married continues to be
a popular option, with nineteen percent of couples married under
what they consider a destination wedding, i e. A location
other than where they currently live and or grew up.

(48:33):
So how much does a destination wedding costs?

Speaker 2 (48:37):
Right? So would that they answer their own question, saying
the average destination wedding costs in twenty twenty three is
forty one thousand dollars according to the Not Real Wedding Study,
an increase of fifteen percent over twenty twenty two, which
was thirty five thousand, six hundred. As these numbers are averages,
they say use them for baseline knowledge as you begin

(48:58):
planning your own destination wedding. It's important to note that
destination weddings aren't only beach weddings in a far away
tropical locations. In fact, most destination weddings take place in
the continental US. Yes, these may be beach locations that
they can also be in the mountains, at a national park,
near a lake, or in your favorite vacation spot. A

(49:18):
smaller number of weddings were held in international destinations. According
to our study, forty four percent of international destination weddings
took place in Mexico, while twenty percent were held in
Europe and eighteen percent in the Caribbean. Here's how the
destination wedding costs compared to a hometown wedding. So with
that they break that down costs for domestic destination weddings

(49:41):
as again forty three thousand, three hundred. Average cost for
international destination wedding is forty two thousand, which is less.
That's interesting. Average cost for the hometown wedding is thirty
three thousand, three hundred. Overall average for a wedding is
thirty five thousand. So the little cheaper to do international
destination versus is the domestic destination. I wonder if that's

(50:03):
like guest list goes down and such.

Speaker 1 (50:06):
Yeah, or in certain places it could be like an exchange,
right right, right, But not a lot of places.

Speaker 2 (50:15):
The UK is that much cheaper. Maybe this take away
one thousand dollars of the expense, but you would think
the travel the visas right, but then if you're going
to a honeymoon over there is less. Yeah, there's so
many things that's true.

Speaker 3 (50:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:31):
I did want to also talk about some of the
twenty best or popular destinations that people do go for.
And this is from Travel and Leisure. So some of
the international spots would be Italy, Dominican Republic, Ireland, which
you know what, I get that, France in Mexico, as
they said, Thailand is up there. For some of the

(50:54):
local domestic New Orleans is up there, Colorado, I could
see that, California, Hawaii of course, and Newport Rhode Island.

Speaker 3 (51:06):
I bet it's lovely.

Speaker 2 (51:07):
I bet it's lovely. I've never been to Rhode Island,
but Rhode Island is expensive, is what I found out,
just so you know, yep. And so with all of that,
what exactly is the breakdown of costs and this will
We're going to put in all the numbers, including destination
wedding stuff. So from the not dot com this is

(51:28):
the list and I'm just coming straight from their statistics
and list. Reception venue costs around fourteen thy four hundred.
Live ban can cost a forty seven hundred. Destination wedding
photography cost a thirty one hundred destination wedding planner is
twenty seven hundred alcohol, thirty two hundred florists, thirty two
hundred rehearsal dinner thirty nine hundred videographer, twenty five hundred

(51:52):
event rentals, twenty five hundred lighting in decor nineteen hundred
if you decide to do a DJ nineteen hundred guest entertainment,
I don't know what that means. Thirteen hundred ceremony ensemble,
one thousand paper items, five hundred eighty wedding cake cost
five eighty. This is just as much as the paper items.
Catering cost per person is one O two. Local transportation

(52:16):
slash lima twelve hundred favors five hundred efficients two fifty.
They're getting ripped off here. A wedding dress cost around
twenty four hundred additional jewelry four hundred and seventy five
hairstyle is a prices price for one to be wed
one sixty four makeup artists for one to be wed
one hundred and fifty two dollars. That's a that's a

(52:38):
chunk of money.

Speaker 3 (52:39):
That's a lot of money.

Speaker 2 (52:40):
That's a chunk of money. So the wedding industry is
a money maker. It's not a surprise. Again who is
making this money? I will tell you it was hard
for me to get some numbers like like I got
for like an individuals per year, per thing. So we

(53:02):
have different breakdowns from Zibia dot com. As of twenty
twenty three, the US revenue for wedding service industry is
at seventy point three billion dollars and according to Globnewswire
dot com buy twenty thirty two, it will be worth
six hundred and forty six points sixty five b yeah,

(53:22):
b billion dollars. My god, wow, my god, okay almost
ten times.

Speaker 3 (53:32):
Yeah, that's billion.

Speaker 2 (53:35):
Okay, we need to do something with them, Like how
does sminty Mary's you We'll do this for you, give
us a month. How much does the photography industry make
it during a year? According to Fortune Business Insights dot com,
it is also in the billions. The global wedding photography
market size was valued at twenty three point thirty six

(53:57):
billion US dollars, and that was in twenty twenty four.
The market is projected to grow from twenty five point
zero five billion in twenty twenty five two forty three
point six billion by twenty thirty two, and again US dollars.
I mean, if the value of the US dollar goes down,

(54:17):
it's a whole different conversation, but you get you get
adjust a lot a lot.

Speaker 1 (54:23):
And if you own an ideal spot for a venue,
according to wedding venue mavericks dot com, it is worth
thirty billion dollars USD some more statistics from that site.
Wedding venues generate an average of fifty thousand dollars of
revenue in a year. The average profit margin for wedding
venues is twenty percent. The average wedding venue cost ten

(54:47):
thousand dollars to rent.

Speaker 2 (54:48):
So my old landlord, oh, has a very nice property,
like real nice. Like it's like an old apparently an
old old funeral home, but like mansion style almost I've
been inside of it. He's hosted many events there now
uses as a wedding venue and hosts probably about thirty

(55:09):
weddings a year.

Speaker 3 (55:10):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (55:11):
Yeah, so you can only imagine, yep, how much money
he's making. I think he lives. There's like a little
like tulshit like type of offshoot house guest house that
only has like a small bedroom, a small kitchen, everything,
but it's very small, one bedroom type of thing. He
lives there while he runts up the giant house, wedding,

(55:35):
haunted wedding. You know what, a lot of people love
those things, that's true. So what about the flowers? Again,
this wasn't an easy answer to find, but here are
some numbers given by true clientpro dot com about yearly earnings,
and I think it's trying to tell people how to
be a part of this industry. Freelance wedding floors make
thirty thousand to forty five thousand annually, Floral studio owners

(55:56):
make fifty thousand to eighty thousand annually. Wedding florist's salary
is eighty thousand to two hundred and fifty thousand, and
then luxury wedding floors over one hundred thousand annually with
high end events, so you can make some money. And
there's just there's so many how to sites if you
want to learn how to and how to use, and
they talk about marking it up six times the actual cost,

(56:20):
like in order to get that rep share. So I'm like, Ohnine,
you do you according to get those revenue. I mean,
I mean, I'm like you do you? So then it
goes down to who pays? Who pays for all of.

Speaker 3 (56:33):
This good question.

Speaker 1 (56:35):
According to brides dot com, this is how they break
it down. The bride's family pays for quote the expenses
associated with the wedding. This includes expected cost like the
bride's dress, smaller big day details such as the invitations
and cake, and big ticket items including the photographer and venue.
The list looks like this, According to brides dot com,

(56:57):
traditional bride family coverage includes engagement parl and pre wedding parties,
get togethers, venues, coordinators, video and photography, flowers and decor,
dress with all of the stuff, invitations, transportation and accommodation
for bridesmaids, the cake, and the after brunch. The bride
has their own expenses, including the grooms wedding band, gifts

(57:19):
for the wedding parties, and hair and makeup for her
people's This is interesting to me because I definitely had
to pay for all that stuff what I do, so
I don't mind.

Speaker 2 (57:28):
Right for the groom's family, they write, the groom's parents
are still tasked with paying for a portion of the events,
so there could be a conversation that they partially pay
for the venue as well. According to traditional etiquette, the
main financial role of the groom's family intels funding the
rehearsal dinner, including the venue, food, drink, decorations, entertainment invitations.
They're also traditionally tasked with planning and paying for the honeymoon.

(57:51):
The fee of the efficient services and the marriage licenses
also falls in the parents of the groom's laps in
their list. They have a following handar dinner, efficient fee,
license specific bouquet, butineers and carsages, transportation, accommodations for groomsmen,
DJ and band, alcohol, and honeymoon. The groom is responsible
for the bride's rings, including the engagement one, grooms attire,

(58:14):
gifts for the bride and his grooms people, honeymoon if
the family doesn't pay for it, so that's supposed to
be going on him. Of course, the party, such as
the bridesmaids and groomsmen, all have expenses as well. For
the bridesmaids, there are some gray areas kind of like
what you're talking about in these expenses, which has a

(58:35):
lot to do with what is expected of them. For
the most part, things like bachelor and bachelorette parties and trips,
the bridesmaids and groomsmen would put their money in. But
if it becomes extravagant, like we're taking trips to Europe
or something, there is a lot of argument on who
is expected to pay. Is the bride going to give
some of that money, is the groom going to give

(58:55):
some of that money for the bride, or the families
adding that money. If the maid of honor is her
sister or someone from the family, do they pay for it?
Like so all of these things. If you're putting yourself
as the host, then yeah, the expense is expected to
come from you. So whoever is planning this better be
ready to either cough it up themselves or have a
prediscussion about who is paying for what so that they

(59:19):
can know whether or not they can afford it. Dresses
and tuxes also a toss up, but typically it seem
to be a responsibility of the bridesmaids and the groomsman.
I have seen I have paid for every single one
of my bridesmaids dress.

Speaker 3 (59:33):
Me too.

Speaker 2 (59:34):
I prayed for a j cru dress in college. That
was a lot. I wore that thing forever too, like
it was a nice dress, so I would give the hymn.
I would make it shorter. I would make it like
this is my aveningwhere for everything, I'm gonna go bed
in it. With all of the articles we have researched
a chunk of them on our advice on how to

(59:55):
talk to the brider groom about the cost and whether
or not being able to actually afford to be a
part of the wedding party, like being able to say
no because I'm like, I can't afford that twenty five
hundred dollar dress that you want me to get buy
from that other expensive Gucci store. I can't do that.
Do they have dresses? Do Guccie do dresses? I don't know.
This is how well I know. I know that I

(01:00:17):
can't afford that because I don't know where it came from.
Shoes talk about that hair, I mean, there's even demands
where all of the bridesmen have to have thin color
of hair or different color of hair. Like there's been
conversations most of the weddings I've been, all of the
weddings i've been, they have been reasonable, yeah and not
expected that, and I have all like understood, Okay, pricing

(01:00:39):
is a conversation. I did have one where I was
just beginning social work and she was like, I got
your dress, please be in the wedding, and knowing that
they're that could be like a deal breaker for me.
So a lot of that was happening. I was also
really young when a chunk of people got married, so
it was interesting trying to navigate that.

Speaker 1 (01:00:57):
I want I hope listeners write in about this because
so much of this I'm like, really, we're still doing this,
because I feel like my friends got married later, so
like we their wedding gift in one example, was you
donated to their honeymoon, right, like, because they didn't need
all the new They've been living together for years, they.

Speaker 2 (01:01:18):
Didn't play new things yet, right.

Speaker 1 (01:01:20):
So I'm just curious, listeners, if you write in if
this I believe the statistics, I'm just it's not been
my experience. It's really interesting.

Speaker 2 (01:01:28):
I really expected to see some of the trends being
of older people, and we do talk a little bit
about that later on, because what we're talking about here
is very traditional. Obviously, we were talking because again, yeah,
most of my friends, especially in the last four years
five years, if you are thirty six and older, even
thirty five and older, I guess maybe even thirty. The

(01:01:51):
typical ideas have kind of gone out the window because
they've already lived together so they have a lot of stuff,
or they've been married previously. They don't I want to
do all this stuff. Like all of these things come
into factors. I did have several weddings that I was
a part of in college. In college when I was
living with three other people, paying two fifty a month

(01:02:12):
in rent and having a part time job, because that
was a stretch for me, having to throw lingerie showers,
so we would do I remember the one I was
very proud of. This one. I did a whole scavenger
hunt throughout downtown Athens. It was kind of cruel, but
thinking is the person I was throwing it for is
not super shy, so she was fine. But like I

(01:02:33):
would have our scene to a Barissa to get a present,
like I hit her presence all of her downtown Athens
and thank you to the people who actually really messed
with us with this. And then at the end we
would all come together, went on North Campus to a
really pretty area, had a whole picnic and had a
light lunch or a light like snack. While she was
opening presents, we did a crossword puzzle for her that

(01:02:55):
you could generate, not an AI. It probably wasn't AI
technically at that point, but we did. No, it was
AI based on her marriage or based on her wedding,
like all of these things. So we did a whole thing.
But I did this as a poor college student, right,
so I didn't have to do too much. But like,
we got creative, Yeah, we got creative. But I'm thinking
back on it now, I'm like, man, a lot of work.

(01:03:18):
The amount of money that we had to get for
the lingerie gifts, the wedding gift, the bridesmaid dress, all
the things, there's a lot. She didn't ask us to
be the risemaid, I will say that, so we were
grateful for that, but we threw all the parties because
the bridesmaids were his younger sister or her younger sister,
who could do even less. Right, Yeah, anyway, and talking

(01:03:40):
again about the actual back to this whole thing about
breakdowns of who pays for what? From our friends from
not dot Com, Sarah Hanlon writes, because people are getting
married later in life, couples are more financially equipped to
take on more or all of the wedding costs themselves. Plus,
given the importance now placed on the overall experience, more

(01:04:00):
couples are willing to splurge on upgrades and extras. They
want to make their dream wedding a reality. Of course,
that's not to say to be weds don't receive any
financial help from family members. Our study found that on average,
couples cover fifty percent of the wedding budget and parents'
family contribute the other fifty percent. Interestingly, respondents further indicate

(01:04:24):
my parents' family paid thirty seven percent and my partner's parents'
family paid thirteen percent. That is really specific numbers.

Speaker 3 (01:04:32):
Yeah, pretty different.

Speaker 2 (01:04:34):
Yeah, so Zola dot Com ads with the increase of
using digital things like Save the Dates and even registries
or invitations, couples have been adding cash funds as an
option for their gifts. They write. Eighty seven percent of
couples are adding personalized cash funds to their Zola registries,
using this money to not only help cover some wedding costs,

(01:04:55):
but also post wedding financial priorities such as the first
purchase of a home. The number of couples adding cash
funds is up six percent from twenty twenty three, which
at the time we believe to be an all time high.

Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
Of course, all of this is also to say traditions
are not something adhered to by a lot of people,
and different people have different traditions. As they mentioned earlier,
Because many couples are getting married later in life, they
often cover their own expenses, and they do mention the
comparison with the queer community. Again from Zola dot com quote,

(01:05:28):
it's also important to call out that even as we
work alongside members of our industry every day to celebrate
and support all of we know the journey is not
equitable for many couples, including members of the LGBTQ plus community.
In our own data, there is a noticeable divide in
comparing who contributes financially to sexual orientation. It's true that

(01:05:49):
the vast majority of all couples contribute financially, but it's
also true that a larger percentage of LGBTQ plus couples
in comparison to heterosexual couples, are responsible for covering wedding cost.
Thirty eight percent of LGBTQ plus couples are paying in
full for their weddings in comparison to twenty seven percent

(01:06:10):
of heterosexual couples. Thirteen percent of heterosexual couples have their
wedding costs completely covered by loved ones. All the same
is only true for six percent of LGBTQ plus couples.

Speaker 2 (01:06:22):
Right, And we already know a lot. A lot is
part of that conversation. Like I said, I did not
we did not do a lot of research for this
specific episode, but we do want to talk about what
this looks like. Yeah, it feels trivial to talk about
wedding costs if we're talking about the fact the right
of marriage, Yeah, and of existence is being threatened. So

(01:06:44):
it's kind of hard, you know, to really look deep
into that. But that is something that has to be remembered,
and I'm glad Zola was very quick to have that.
They're the first ones not to call out or say
that The Knot hasn't mentioned it. But like just when
I was when we were researching it, this is a
or so I came across it was like, oh my god,
there's that information that they made sure to include in
the regular posting, so they wanted to acknowledge it. So

(01:07:08):
I thought that was pretty significant. And from that same article,
Emily Forest, who is the writer, writes and the overall
balance of planning responsibility is very unbalanced. In fact, for
millennial couples, the stereotypical assumptions that one person will take
on the majority of wedding planning responsibilities is the number
one societal expectation they want to change. In contrast to

(01:07:30):
the financial data above, LGBTQ plus couples generally have a
more positive experience sharing wedding planning responsibilities equally, but between
women and men who are marrying each other, there's a
clear discrepancy about time spend. Only one percent of women
fill their male partner spends more time wedding planning, but
thirty five percent of men said their female partner spends

(01:07:52):
more time wedding planning. Seven percent of women fill their
male partner spends quality time wedding planning, but thirty six
percent of men said they spend quality time planning. Eight
percent of women said their partner helps them literally zero,
but zero percent of men with female partners responded this way.
The delusion is real zero, she said, literally zero. Likely

(01:08:21):
had to yes, of course, I wanted to go back
and look at the attitudes, I guess said. We were
talking more about like the cost breakdowns and who is
financially responsible and what it looks like today more so
than that. Again, this could be a whole series. We're
not doing it. I did it any I didn't do
it in two episodes. I want that to be noted
and said I did it in my one. However, Yeah,

(01:08:45):
when I was looking through all of that, nothing seems
to have date changed or no one's writing about it
because the majority of the articles, when I thought, I
just want to see, I just want to see if
it has changed, if increase, if there's an increase in
men being act defitely a part of the planning, since
I don't know twenty fifteen anything, nothing. The latest article

(01:09:08):
I saw was in twenty sixteen, and it's say there's
more men who are being involved. The rest of them
are pretty much like scoldings telling men to get it
together from the articles that I've read, So it's interesting.
I don't know if that's just because I didn't dig
deep enough, Like I said, I just wanted to kind
of get a preview, but it was interesting, I will say.

(01:09:29):
In that same article, they go on to say that
for the most part, the couples feel like their partners
are at least very supportive throughout the process. Are they
actively helping, No, but at least they're going to be like, Okay,
that's cool. I like it.

Speaker 3 (01:09:43):
Said something.

Speaker 2 (01:09:44):
I guess that's something. So that's what we have for
this one. Like I said, there's so much more we
should and could go into, but we just kind of
wanted to see how it's changed lately. Like, man, if
you're a part of that industry and if you can
get your feet wet, whether you're a photographer, a florist
coordinator which by the way, I've coordinated several weddings. Oh

(01:10:06):
that was my gift to my friend to be mean
to people well and to be organized look.

Speaker 1 (01:10:11):
At Okay, yeah, if you're in that industry, let us know,
people listeners, if you've gotten married recently and you want
to share, if this is resonating with you or not
resonating with you, please let us know. We would love
to hear from you. You can email us at Hello
at Stephwomannever Told You dot com. You can find us

(01:10:32):
on Blue Sky at mom Stuff Podcasts, or on Instagram
and TikTok at stuff One Never told you.

Speaker 3 (01:10:36):
We're also on YouTube. We have a tea public.

Speaker 1 (01:10:38):
Store, and we have a book you can get wherever
you get your books. Thanks, it's always to our super
producer Christina, our executive producer and are contributor, Joey, Thank you,
and thanks to you for listening. Stephane never told you
to protection you.

Speaker 3 (01:10:49):
I Heeart Radio.

Speaker 1 (01:10:49):
For more podcasts from my Heart Radio, you can check
out the heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you
listen to your favorite shows on