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January 28, 2025 34 mins

When the guys get together to trace the story of secret societies, they aren't expecting a surprise guest to crash their podcast, revealing first-hand experience with some the most elite, secretive organizations in the United States. Wait. How did John Hodgman get in here?

They don't want you to read our book.: https://static.macmillan.com/static/fib/stuff-you-should-read/

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, fellow conspiracy realists, thank you, as always so much
for joining us. We have a classic episode for you
this evening as we're as we're busy gearing up for
two thousand and twenty five, they called me Ben Matt.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
It seems like.

Speaker 1 (00:18):
It wasn't that long ago, or it seems like it
was hundreds of years ago that we had an unexpected
guest in the studio.

Speaker 3 (00:27):
Yeah, somebody wanted to just come on in through one
of the you know, secret society portholes that exist just
throughout buildings, especially in Atlanta. He just popped in, said hello,
and then he had to go get back on his dirigible.

Speaker 1 (00:41):
I think, yeah, it was a dirigible and the facts
matter here. Yes, it is a true story, or, as
Emily Dickinson said, it is the truth told slightly slant.
There's this guy named John Hodgman who sort of just
drifted through our studio, you know, like a mysterious anti

(01:02):
hero in an old Western film, and then said ask
me anything.

Speaker 3 (01:07):
Well, yeah, and basically I'm on television. Secret societies love.

Speaker 1 (01:13):
Me very specific opinions about regional SODA's and true story
insider looks at societies we sometimes call secret because they
very much are.

Speaker 3 (01:26):
Oh yes, let's jump into this delightful episode.

Speaker 4 (01:31):
From UFOs to psychic powers and government conspiracies. History is
riddled with unexplained events. You can turn back now or
learn this stuff they don't want you to know. A
production of iHeart Radios How Stuff Works.

Speaker 3 (01:55):
Welcome back to the show. My name is Matt, my
name is no.

Speaker 5 (01:58):
They call me Ben.

Speaker 1 (01:59):
We are joined as always with our super producer Paul
Michigan control decan in spirit. Because our guest super producer
Maya Cole is on the ones and Tuesdaday give it
up for her. Most importantly, you are you, You are here,
and that makes this stuff they don't want you to know.

Speaker 5 (02:15):
So check in. First things first, check in.

Speaker 3 (02:18):
Well, yeah, so this week, you guys, I went to
Chuck E Cheese because my son turned four yesterday. As
as we're recording this and that, uh, that robot casino
was fabulous.

Speaker 1 (02:32):
Hang on, sorry, we're recording, sir, sir, Hello sir, what's
going on in here?

Speaker 3 (02:37):
Hey wait a second?

Speaker 2 (02:39):
Oh is this the uh?

Speaker 5 (02:40):
Is this the podcast?

Speaker 2 (02:41):
I feel like, uh yeah, that's adorable. I'm such a fan.
What are wait, I'm I'm sorry, I'm John Hodgman.

Speaker 3 (02:49):
I used to be on television sometimes I thought I
recognized you, inspector.

Speaker 5 (02:53):
That's I, Judge John Hodgman, that's it.

Speaker 2 (02:55):
I have a podcast as well. Yeah, were you? You
were the PC. I don't don't know what you were
talking about. Yeah, No, I was a PC on the
Apple Ads. And you know, I don't know what else
on my resume. I've traveled all over the world. I've
been in the upper echelons of fame, and I've been
granted a lot of exclusive access to a lot of
secret rooms and hidden parties and stuff that you're not

(03:18):
supposed to know, but I do. You didn't write a
book about it, did you. Yeah? I did. Actually it's
called Medallion status. But that's not why I'm here. I'm
just you know, I was just traveling through the secret
tunnels on my way to a secret World government event,
and yeah, I have a secret door right into your
room here, So I thought I was just check in

(03:39):
and say hi, I hear you're talking about secret societies
a little bit.

Speaker 5 (03:43):
So yeah, well, I mean thanks thanks for coming. I
always wonder what that door was for.

Speaker 2 (03:47):
Yeah, that just leads to the to the platform for
the Golden funicular that people of my status get to use.

Speaker 5 (03:54):
Oh god, this is some real deranged billionaire.

Speaker 2 (03:56):
So yeah, well that is the character that I used
to play on The Daily Show. The guy's just me.
I mean, there is a secret door here, and I'm
on my way to a secret meeting, but it's just me.
John Hodgman, it's.

Speaker 3 (04:06):
Hard to tell, friend, the lines are blurring so much
right now.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
Host of the Judge John Hodgmen podcast and author of
the new book Medallion Status True Stories from Secret Rooms,
which has a portion in it. This is a This
is a book that's mostly about my my, my job
as a famous minor television personality, and what happened after,
how unlikely and unusual it was that I should be

(04:31):
on camera at all, the strange things that happened to
me while I was there, And then what happened after
I lost that job and panicked and started chasing a
new kind of status as a Diamond Medallion member on
the Delta trying to become Diamond Medallion and the Delta
Frequent Flyer program. It's I you know, I don't want

(04:53):
I don't want to I don't want to give away
the story of the book, but I got it. I
got I went diamond, I went diving.

Speaker 6 (05:00):
And I appeared on his dear friend Chuck Bryant's movie
podcast earlier today and I I disclosed that I am
approaching silver medallion status and I was told that that
is a trash status.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
What I used, some nonsense words came out of your
head just then. I'm sorry that it's gonna they say
on Westworld. I don't That doesn't look like anything to me.
I don't understand what you're talking about. Aparently silver is
a trash medal. You're hurting my ears. You've got You've
got a silver.

Speaker 3 (05:28):
So how does that compare to just like a guy
who just travels coach and doesn't have a medallion at all?

Speaker 2 (05:34):
Well, what does the medallion look like? It's an imaginary medallion.
It is a dumb, imaginary prize that I became obsessed
with when my TV show was canceled and I and
I had stopped working on the Daily Show and I
wasn't on TV anymore. And as a lot of people
do when their status starts to slip, whether whether you
are losing a television job or you're you're you're aging

(05:59):
out of your own job or you're getting older as
a parent and your kids don't think you're a celebrity anymore.
Or you're a member of the rural white working class
and you feel that the privilege that is due to
you is being taken away, and therefore you vote for
a particular president. People do irrational things with the status
to political you.

Speaker 5 (06:20):
Real silver medallion talk, right, you're going to freak people out.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (06:25):
I think you hit this universal, this universal key though,
and I want to I want to hear more because
I myself, not being a Diamond Medallion member, have moved adjacent.

Speaker 2 (06:34):
I would your name on the you would know everyone. Yeah,
I would get a little notification, there's a little ceremony.
What I do notice is they actually say I'm not
Diamond Medallion member anymore. I got it and I lost it.

Speaker 5 (06:45):
But that's all.

Speaker 2 (06:47):
That's the whole point.

Speaker 5 (06:48):
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
That's the That's what makes if you qualify for a
certain medallion level, be it gold, be it platinum, be
it diamond, those are the only ones.

Speaker 6 (06:59):
Silver.

Speaker 2 (07:01):
Silver is a garbage medallion because it just is a taunt.
It reminds you that you're the worst kind of medallion.
Nothing than to be a silver media. They're all imaginary
prizes that you earn. If you earn a certain amount
of medallion qualifying miles through travel and credit card spending
by the end of the year, then you're locked in.
But if you don't requalify the next year, then you

(07:23):
drop down in status. And it's frightening high stake. It's
a game, so it's sake addictive video game. Now, you
were saying, I interrupted, Oh no, no, it's true though.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
I've moved adjacent in those circles and they do say
your name when you get on the plane.

Speaker 2 (07:37):
Right, That's what got me started.

Speaker 5 (07:38):
We'd like to welcome you know. Oh yeah, it's a
it's a big to do.

Speaker 2 (07:43):
When I had before this TV show that I was on,
I was the third best friend in this TV comedy
called Married on on FX that ran for two seasons.
Was great, and then like all television, got canceled. But
when it was cooking, I was flying. I was being
across the country over and over and over and over
again to work, and they were paying for my flight,

(08:04):
and they were contractually oblic to pay me for his class.
So I was racking up the mqms. The medallion qualifying miles.
I didn't even know this was happening. I didn't even
care until one day I was boarding a plane to
go home and the gate agent says, as she scanned
in my ticket, thank you, mister Hodgman, whoa no for
being gold? Thank you for being gold? Was so powerful,

(08:26):
like to an only child who exists, you know, who
requires praise and acknowledgment like oxygen, Like to be thanked
for just for being never mind for being gold. I
mean I always thought it was gold, you know what
I mean. Sure, we all think we're gold, or we
hope we are gold, or we worry that maybe we're
not as gold as we think and that we're just
tricking people. But then for someone to say, no, your gold,
your gold.

Speaker 3 (08:46):
Well John has your gold, and then diamond and then
gold again. Status allowed you in any rooms that most
people would never ever even dare to step or ever
be allowed.

Speaker 2 (08:59):
Well do you do?

Speaker 5 (09:00):
Get?

Speaker 2 (09:01):
You do? Get? Membership to the sky clubs is the
secret the secret societies of the air, you know, And
it's like there's not there's not a lot, there's not
a lot of human sacrifice going on in there. They
have some pretty good soups I have to I have
to say their their tied chicken soup is pretty good.
I had tied chicken soup for lunch today from the

(09:21):
Delta sky Club. No from soup, because you're in Atlanta.
This is oh yeah, it's good. It was really good.
It's good. See. The thing the problem with the one
that you had made it less good than the ones
you get in the Delta sky Club is it was fresh.
Probably was fresh. You know. I have the best I'm
gonna discuss in the book, The greatest uh Jambalaya that

(09:41):
I've ever eaten, came out of the crock pot at
the at the Sky the Delta sky Club. It's at
Louis Armstrong International Airport in New Orleans. The best, the
best jumble you could get, because all soups and stews
deepen in flavor as they sit for hours, as they

(10:02):
sit at a low temperature for hours and days, it
just it just got to be so so delicious. So
those are some secrets of the Sky Club. But I
have also gotten into other secret rooms that I think
might be more interesting to you because I mentioned it earlier,
as it were just a normal thing that someone would
drop by book and Snake one of Yale's senior secret

(10:24):
societies for dinner of an evening. But apparently not everyone
can do.

Speaker 3 (10:27):
It, Book and Snake, I'm only familiar with Skull and Bone.

Speaker 2 (10:31):
I have to leave now, goodbye. Oh wait, Judd, No,
I'm not so. I went to Yale, which is an
accredited four year college in southern Connecticut, and I was
not a member of Skull and Bones. For people who
don't know there, but anyone who listens to this show
has to know about the secret societies of Yale. There

(10:52):
are senior societies. Yale was founded before there were frats,
and so they, the young, the young privileged men of
Yale had to find other kinds forms of associations and
clubs so that they could group off and basically jack
off together. Before there were frats, you had you had

(11:12):
secret societies at Yale, which are these senior secret societies
where they initiate like fifteen to seventeen senior men to
go into a windowless clubhouse called a tomb and tell
secrets to each other in lion coffins and hang out.
Or you joined an a cappella group. There's so much acapella.
It's the per capita amount of acapella New Haven is

(11:33):
greater than anywhere else in the world. But what really
troubles me is no one's doing anything about it. They're
just letting it happen. There's just hundreds of a cappella
groups running wild, running wild through the New Haven Green.

Speaker 3 (11:43):
I'm fascinated by the connective tissue between the two. If
there's ever any secret acapella groups.

Speaker 2 (11:49):
Well, there probably is a little bit of overlap between
the Skull and Bonesmen and the Whiffan Poofs, the premier
a cappella group in the collegiate a capella group in
the United States and the world, which I was not
a member of, but I'm still weirdly proud of that.
But I was fascinated with secret rooms growing up in

(12:10):
high school and secret societies in the Masons and the
Club thirty three before everyone knew about it, and all
of these rooms. I always wanted to go into these
rooms that you couldn't just walk into unless you were
invited or whatever, or had a golden finnicular who could
take you to a secret panel and jump into podcast
or diamond medallion diamond or diamond medallion, for example, And

(12:31):
it's you know, these arbitrary signs of status that don't
make you a better person, but make you feel suddenly
like you're loved by an institution or whatever. It's just
it's a sick addiction. Anyway. Basically, the reason I applied

(12:53):
to Yell was that they had secret societies, scallm Bones
being the most famous one, the Scallmnbones being you know,
reputed to be the pipeline to Illuminati superstatus, secret world
government control.

Speaker 5 (13:08):
The diamond medallion of conspira.

Speaker 2 (13:09):
Diamond medallion of like Yale, scullm Bones, that's the top,
like you know, Oh, I'm sorry, you just went to
the Builderberg group once. No, this is scull and Bones now?
And was that an?

Speaker 3 (13:21):
Was that an actual secret society? The Snake what was it?

Speaker 2 (13:24):
Snook? Isn't is an actual one? Yep, they're there there
across the street from the Grove Cemetery in New Haven
and a giant two and a half story limestone Greek
Revival architecturally significant edifice that has zero windows. It looks
like a tomb. They're called tombs. All of these secret

(13:46):
societies at Yale were all founded by very wealthy young men.
They had their dad's architects make them. These clubhouses, they're
all littered throughout campus. You'll be walking along you're like,
there's a very handsome looking uh and and an important
looking library. Oh why does it have no windows? Because
it's a clubhouse for dumb dums, dumb dubs, clubhouse for

(14:08):
secret weirdos.

Speaker 3 (14:09):
So set the.

Speaker 2 (14:10):
Scene where they all robed up. I mean, what was
going on? Well, there's there's a limit to what I
can reveal here.

Speaker 3 (14:16):
Yes, wait a second, there's.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
Also scrolling key. I just want to tell you the
other ones, Wolf said, scroll and key, Berzellis, manuscript, scullm bones, booking, snake,
those are those are the biggin's.

Speaker 5 (14:25):
I like the ones that sound like combos, you know,
skull and bones.

Speaker 2 (14:28):
Yeah, no, that's you know, there was a cross end
key once, or there may be a cross end key now,
But you want to get the big big ones. All
are blank and blanks.

Speaker 1 (14:37):
Really yeah, maybe we should start something like that, right,
it's twenty nights.

Speaker 5 (14:40):
You start the blank and blanks.

Speaker 3 (14:41):
The bags and badgers.

Speaker 5 (14:43):
Sure.

Speaker 2 (14:44):
Yeah, But to answer your question, no, they don't wear
they don't wear robes. And I know this because when
I was a fresh person at Yale. I got invited
to a party at Book and Snake, and I was
very very excited. This was and you like, this is
the reason I had come here and here it is
first semester. And I got so excited that I drank

(15:07):
a lot before going to the party. And then I
went into the party, and then I I went up
to the top of the stairs, and then I fell
down the stairs. And then I woke up in the hospital.
And I know that all of that happened because it
was told to me that it happened. But my only
memory is walking up to the door. And that's the

(15:29):
last thing I remember. Oh wow, until and so it
gnawed at me for my rest of my life. First
of all, let me give you some advice to college students.
Don't get drunk and fall down the stairs. No, you're
not immortal. I'm very very lucky. I didn't hurt myself.
Oh yeah, like, don't don't do it.

Speaker 6 (15:46):
So to be fair, you don't know if they were
robed up or not, because you were unconscious.

Speaker 2 (15:49):
What was what was? But I but I had blacked out,
do you know what I mean? Now, there's there's certain
people who attended Yale and may or may not be
sitting on this court now, who believe that blacking out
is not a thing that happens.

Speaker 3 (16:03):
I can think of one.

Speaker 5 (16:05):
The FBI did a whole impression of an investigation, and.

Speaker 2 (16:09):
They did, they did, they did, They did the Illuminati
investigations a great bit. It was nothing to see here, investigation.

Speaker 3 (16:15):
Are you one percent positive you didn't get initiated that night?
And that was part of it.

Speaker 2 (16:20):
I had no idea. I mean I had friends who
were there, one of whom Jonathan Colton is a musician
and a dear friend still and a whiffan poof, by
the way, the most prestigious collegiate a cappella group in
the world. That's right, And friends with a whiffan poof.
You know, I'm bragging? Yeah, is that sort of like hufflepuff? No? Uh,
it's yeah, I mean it's all it's it isn't so

(16:42):
far as it's all nonsense words. Yeah. Anyway, I uh,
he was there. He knew, he said he saw me
in there. I knew that I had been in there.
It's an unnerving thing to have a memory that you
cannot recall, and especially when you were going into the
secret society that you wanted to see so badly, and
you realize that those secret sides are pretty powerful. They

(17:03):
know how to erase a mind, like they took that.
They took that memory right out of my head.

Speaker 5 (17:07):
And you might be a legend to them.

Speaker 1 (17:09):
They might be hanging out and they're like, ah, man,
you remember Stairs guy, Well, he was wild.

Speaker 2 (17:15):
I don't. I don't know how much they thought about
me for years and years and.

Speaker 3 (17:18):
Years until you showed up on TV.

Speaker 2 (17:21):
And I don't think they thought about me then either.
I think they started thinking about me once I started
like telling this story in public and I included it
in a book and I and I and I wrote
about it online and I got a call from I
got an email from CO signed by a man and
a woman, both members of Booking Snake. I won't reveal

(17:44):
their names. We'll call them Booker and Snake. You Oh cool, okay,
And they said sorry that you have I'm sorry this
has been haunting you for so long. We often we
have a dinner every Thursday. We often invite interesting people
to join us. Do you want to have dinner with us?
And I was like, yeah, I do. And I was
really excited to go back and see see what I

(18:05):
had seen but couldn't remember having seen. And I'll tell
you this much, and there's more in the book. They're
all very nice. No robes, the secrets of the Secret
Society or these. If you're invited to a secret society
at Yale for dinner and you arrived to the dining

(18:26):
room fifteen minutes late, all the spanic capital will be gone.
They serve there was a veal and a fish. The
dining room is in the basement, red leather chairs, all
with an aura boros and a book inscribed on the back.
You get to meet with seventeen bright young people now
men and women not. It's obviously and has been. I

(18:47):
think Book and Snake particularly has been much more diverse
than the other some of the others. There will be
a chaperone there, an older alum to make sure that
things get don't get out of hand. Secret of the
Secret Society at Yale. Wine and beer only smart, yeah,
you know. And then there are some other some alums

(19:10):
might come and have dinner with you too, some more
recent alums of Book and Snake slash Yale. So there's
a guy named James there who has I think was
in his early thirties, and he had just told me
that he had been named. He works for the city government,
he's the transportations are of New Haven. So I just
want to say to any Alex Jones listeners out there,
if you were worried that the Illuminati and secret societies

(19:32):
might be controlling the bus and train schedules in certain
southern Connecticut towns, You're absolutely right. Secret societies are running
are running the trains in southern Connecticut. Oh my god.

Speaker 1 (19:44):
You know here in Atlanta we would kill for some
secret society involvement in transit, all right, Oh yeah, please, yea, yeah.

Speaker 2 (19:52):
Let me tell, Let me tell James. I think I
have his last name somewhere. And then and then the
chaperone will leave because he's got to go home. Oh,
everyone sings a little song. I don't remember what it goes.
Chaperon leaves, and then the young people say, you want
to hang out some more, and I'm like sure, And

(20:12):
you'll go up to a chill room that looks exactly
like a college sharm room, except no windows. And then
they'll reach over to a little captain's chest in the corner.
And I don't want to knark on these kids. But
can you guess what was in it? Yep, hard alcohol.
Oh they are hiding it from their own member because
they're still college suit. I know, I was initiated into

(20:33):
a secret, secret society. Within the secret society, Yes, fabulous,
it was great. But I'll tell you one other thing.
Sorry follow up questions.

Speaker 1 (20:41):
Oh, I was just going to say, are you okay
with disclosing this?

Speaker 2 (20:47):
Umm, well obviously I'm doing it. Sure. Why are you?
Are you threatened? Are you threatening and or offering to
murder me?

Speaker 3 (20:55):
No?

Speaker 5 (20:55):
No, looking out for your personal safety. Quite the opposite.

Speaker 2 (20:58):
No, they booking snake and invite. They've been inviting me
into their clubhouse for years, started when I was a
freshman in college.

Speaker 5 (21:05):
Embedded.

Speaker 2 (21:06):
Yeah, but I mean they're they're chilly, they they and
in fact, you know, they thought it was they thought
the story was funny. Uh. These secret societies don't control
the universe, you know what I mean. I don't know
what's going on at Skull and Bones. I knew a
guy who was in Skull and Bones, and he was like,
let me set around, you know, we have dinner. He

(21:27):
was he was a member of the class that was
the first to admit women to tap women to join
the next year's class, and the alumni got so furious
that they were trying to make make Skull and Bones
co educational that the alumni members came and changed the
locks on the tomb to lock them out of their
own clubhouse. Wow. So these are old institutions that are

(21:48):
obviously weird, crusty monuments to a certain kind of privilege.
But as far as I could tell inside Book and Snake,
it's just young, young, interesting young people who have been
given this opportunity to play in a windowless building for
a while and be friends.

Speaker 3 (22:14):
You know, I don't know how serious we want to
get with this, but there is there is something worth
exploring that we've talked about before on the show where
we had one election where I believe it was George H. No,
George W. Bush and John Carey who were both members
and members of Skull and Duns and and just that concept.

(22:34):
But again, if you break if you really break it down,
it's like there are two members of the same fraternity
running together. But I think the nomenclature, the title of
having it a secret society creates that anxiety within me
a little bit. But you know, the Republic of course.

Speaker 2 (22:52):
I mean if you if you don't, if you don't
have diamond medallion and you're not in that sky club,
you're wondering what's going on behind those doors. Something, something
is some freaky is happening people. People are actually being
treated like human beings in there. Yet.

Speaker 5 (23:07):
I think that's a very good point.

Speaker 2 (23:09):
But I'll say something else that's true is that, obviously,
if you go to an elite college or institution like
Yale or many others already, you're you know, you're forging
contacts with people who you know statistically are if not
likely that you probably know some people who are pretty powerful,

(23:31):
you know, as you look, I became a literary agent
and a service journalist, and now I'm a carnival jester.
You know, I'm nothing. I don't have any power, but
I definitely know people. You know, I remember people from
college who are now in positions of power. Samantha Power,
for example, the former the former ambassador to the UN
not not not not only powerful, but named Power. It's

(23:53):
her name. She and I are college at the same time.
I didn't know her, but sure. But you know, these
institutions do self select into into groupings, and whether or not.
And then if you super select into into something like
a secret society, you know, there is a kind of

(24:14):
soft conspiracy of acquaintanceship and given people a leg up
if possible. And it happens in networks of any kind,
you know, however, whatever kind of trappings they have church, Yeah, exactly.
But that said, there is a secret retreat that I
attended that I will not name, that is also described

(24:40):
in the book. Is a retreat that I was surprised
to be invited to, hosted by someone who enjoys surrounding
him or herself with interesting celebrities, business leaders, government officials,
former government officials, entertainers, writers, artists. It's a wonderful time.

(25:00):
We all have a great time together. It's all off
the record. People aren't supposed to talk about what happened.

Speaker 3 (25:06):
There no weaving spiders allowed.

Speaker 2 (25:09):
There, no weaving spiders.

Speaker 3 (25:10):
Oh so it wasn't the Bohemian Club.

Speaker 2 (25:13):
No, it was not the Lahamian Grove.

Speaker 5 (25:15):
No.

Speaker 2 (25:15):
That's I would tell you if I gotten that, there's
the thing that I want to go back to. Okay,
And it's total it's totally benign, right, and of an
evening they might invite somewhat gather everyone together for a
performance of a kind. And this performance was a professional

(25:37):
performing pickpocket, an incredibly talented performing pickpocket. Well name because
he's an amazing person. Apollo Robins is his name, Look
him up. He is so skilled. And his bit was
inviting audience members on stage and picking their pockets. And
he would invite famous people, entertainers or whatever up and

(26:00):
and talk to them and said, wed you have ever
breakfast today? And you wouldn't even see him touch them,
and all of a sudden he's holding their wristwatch above
their head, behind them, and they didn't know it was gone,
but the audience sees it, right, and everyone laughs, and
the famous person laughs because it's okay. It's okay to
be humiliated a little bit in public. Right, if you're secure,

(26:20):
it doesn't matter, right. But there is one government official
who would not play. He would not get up on stage.
He or she, I should say, they would not get
up on stage. They would not allow themselves to be
pickpocketed or to have their wristwatch taken because they could

(26:42):
not for whatever reason I'd be speculating to guess what
it was. They could not tolerate having their status reduced
because they're between their status and status was the only
thing that stood between them and oblivion. Basically, Wow, and
this person and has become president. This person, No, this

(27:03):
person is a former government official. There's no point in
trying to figure out who it is. Understood, that's not
the story. This is a parable, you. This is a
parable about someone who had done some very good things
in public life, and had made a big mistake in
public life, and could not tolerate even never mind the
mention of that big mistake, but even the faintest slap

(27:25):
of the wrist, of having their wristwatch literally manipulate off
their wrist in public. It would be too humiliating. And
they hid their money in their shoe so that they
wouldn't be they wouldn't have their money their wallet pickpocketing. Wow.
And you know, when people lose their status or perceive
or feel a threat to their status, they will do
irrational things. That's not the moral of this story. The

(27:48):
moral of the story is that this happened to meaning
happened to be held in a Masonic lodge. It was
not a Masonic meeting the Mason's. It's a beautiful lodge
and a grand meeting room and was one of the
nicer rooms in this particular town where you could go
to have an event like this, And the Masons are
out of money and they needed to rent it to

(28:09):
this But nonetheless I sat there realizing, so here I am.
Here's one of the most famous actors in the world.
Here's this incredible business like the most famous businessman in
the world. Here's this former government official. There's George R.
Martin allowed him to there. There, there's this famous person

(28:30):
and that famous person and this powerful person in this
powerful person, and we're all here. We are literally all
here together, literally meeting in secret, literally in a Masonic lodge.
This is happening right.

Speaker 5 (28:44):
Now, watching the art of pickpocketing.

Speaker 2 (28:46):
Watching the art of pickpocketing. But you go tell that
to Alex Jones. I mean, his heart's about to explode anyway,
because it's full of brisket juice or whatever. But you
know it's it's the Illuminati is real. The Illuminati is real.
Like secret meetings of world leaders are happening in Masonic lodges.
We're not discussing how you know how how to manipulate

(29:11):
you know, how to manipulate like governments into war to
form of one world government or anything like that. We're
basically just entertaining ourselves. They are to hear first, folks,
the Illuminati is real. And I thought you need terminably.
I thought you needed to know that.

Speaker 1 (29:23):
And the and the conversation by closed doors is more
like have you tried that jumbalayah at the sky Club?

Speaker 2 (29:29):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (29:29):
Because I think it's because they let it sit.

Speaker 2 (29:32):
Right well, it's all And the conversation behind doors is
all people just trying to get jobs off of each
other because they're afraid they're they're afraid their status is
slipping too, you know, so youah, I.

Speaker 3 (29:41):
Do have one question, just really fast. Were you allowed
in the time that this occurred. Did you have a
cell phone with a camera on it? Because I'm imagining
a room of of you know, with people of that
caliber in secret doing a thing like that at a retreat.
I'm assuming you would put cell phones away. You'd have
to mandatorily put away, you know.

Speaker 2 (29:59):
There no rules about I mean, people were like, you know,
don't tweet about this. It was low key. I mean,
I'm hoping it was fairly low key. Because I'm telling
the story, I'm all not revealing details. I'm afraid they'll
be mad at me, but I suspect they won't read my.

Speaker 5 (30:13):
Book and a book. Yeah, and you want to go back.

Speaker 2 (30:16):
Yeah, I'd like to go be abrited again. And it
was fascinating, It was interesting, and.

Speaker 1 (30:20):
The book is fascinating as well.

Speaker 2 (30:22):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (30:23):
John Hodgman Medallion status True Stories from Secret Rooms. It's
available now wherever you It's available for pre order, I believe,
and for.

Speaker 5 (30:32):
Pre order right.

Speaker 2 (30:33):
Look, I don't know when this is coming out, so
let's just talk to the time travelers. Time travelers. If
you have arrived in this timeline before October nineteenth, twenty nineteen,
you may pre order my book at bit dot lee
slash medallion status bit dot l y slash medallion status
all one word, all capital letters. If you have materialized
after October fifteenth, twenty nineteen, it's not too late. Go

(30:54):
to a bookstore and buy it, or come see me
on my book tour. I'm on tour on October and November,
and all the details are there John Hodgman dot com
slash tour and I'll be in Atlanta in November along
with my judge John Hodgman podcast in November too. At
the variety. So I hope to see you guys again.

Speaker 3 (31:13):
Who will Do you have a bailiff for that show?

Speaker 2 (31:15):
Yeah, Jesse Thorne, my regular bailiff is going to be there,
so awesome, and I will I will be selling books there.
And you know, I because I don't I don't want
to punish people who pre order who then come to
the book events because some of the book events you
have to buy a book to get in. Some of them,
you know, they might leave the book at home and
buy another one. I don't want to, you know, I

(31:37):
really hope that people will pre order the book because
that's the best way to ensure a best launch for
the book personally for me. But in order to reward
people who do pre order and then come to the
book event, anyone who comes into the signing line, whether
it's a Judge John Hodgen show or a regular medallions
sized book event and they have two copies of the
book that could be a hardcover and an audiobook or
a hardcover and an ebook because they've pre ordered for

(32:00):
whatever reason, I have a special loyalty program reward for them.
Oh yeah, you get you you. You may notice that
on the cover of the book there is a picture
of two famous corkies of Instagram Linus the Corky and
Chompers of the corky. They're very important in the book.

Speaker 3 (32:16):
Yeah, we're looking at a pamphlet here. Yeah, it's wonderful.

Speaker 2 (32:19):
Yeah, there's a whole book coming right now.

Speaker 3 (32:20):
That's well, this part's great.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
So everyone who comes to a book event and buys
a copy of the book gets a enamel pin featuring
one of those Corki's designed by Aaron drapland designer of
that of the cover. He's a famous and great awesome
dude designer. And that that is a famous corky pin.
Everyone gets one of those just for showing up and
buying a book. If you buy two books because maybe

(32:44):
you pre ordered one before coming to the event, or
you buy two books on site, or you bought an audiobook,
and now you get in the prentition whatever it is.
You got two books on the sign line, you get upgraded.
You get a double corky pin. Whoa three or more books?
Yeah or other or other? Uh uh, over the top
commitments to the cause you're gonna I'll upgrade you discretionarily

(33:07):
to triple Corky Elite status for three Corky's one pin.

Speaker 1 (33:11):
So since we're on an audio podcast, uh, listeners need
to know that. When John said that, we the three
of us had I think a fairly dramatic double take.

Speaker 5 (33:22):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
Yeah, and what are they there? Pins? They're pins like
you get from an airplane pilot for going on a plane,
for being a kid. They're nothing, but they're elite.

Speaker 1 (33:31):
And as an adult, if you ask the pilots for
the pins, they'll still.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
Give it to you. Really really, yeah, that's wonderful.

Speaker 1 (33:37):
You just have to ask nicely and clearly not have
that much respect for yourself.

Speaker 5 (33:42):
That's what I did.

Speaker 3 (33:43):
Even if I'm silver, I'm getting out silver yet.

Speaker 2 (33:51):
Stop Shop.

Speaker 3 (33:54):
Was going so well. My eyes.

Speaker 2 (33:58):
Gosh, just so bad about John Hodgman.

Speaker 5 (34:02):
That really happened. He's really we have a door.

Speaker 2 (34:05):
He disappeared down in the tunnel kind of Yeah.

Speaker 5 (34:07):
I think that went well.

Speaker 3 (34:08):
I think that was incredible. I want to say, I
think he knows more than he's letting on. But he
was a very nice guy.

Speaker 4 (34:14):
That's true.

Speaker 3 (34:34):
Stuff they don't want you to know. Is a production
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