November 28, 2024 • 41 mins
Darcy prompts a conversation about the etymology of "Kangaroo Court." Blue About Blue Zones inspires Ben, Matt and Noel to explore what may well be an ongoing conspiracy to ignore inconvenient facts. Beefy shares a first-hand experience with television programs appearing to be genuine courts. In Letters From Home, the guys learn multiple naughty puns. All this and more in this week's listener mail segment, brought to you by Thanksgiving and our good friends at Illumination Global, Unlimited.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
From UFOs to psychic powers and government conspiracies. History is
riddled with unexplained events. You can turn back now or
learn this stuff they don't want you to know. A
production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Hello, welcome back to the show. My name is Matt,
my name is Noah.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
They call me Ben. We are joined as always with
our super producer Dylan the Tennessee pal Fagan. Most importantly,
you are you. You are here. That makes this the
stuff they don't want you to know. We always say
it because it's always true. You, fellow conspiracy realist. Specifically,
you are the most important art of the show. We
(00:50):
couldn't be more over the moon, whether Earth's moons or
other moons in the Solar system, to welcome you to
our weekly listener male segment. Happy November twenty eighth. Guys,
when this comes out, it's going to be November twenty eighth,
which I think, does that mean everybody survive Thanksgiving? Or what?
(01:10):
What does that mean?
Speaker 4 (01:11):
Whah? I would like to think. So, what does Nustra
Damas say?
Speaker 2 (01:15):
What if nobody did? But we're recording this now and
it gets played somehow accidentally on the radio or on
somebody's auto play feature and it's just playing to no one.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
And then here we are without our cravats, our bow ties,
our footmen and valets.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
I'm not even wearing pants.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Yeah yeah, I read the Uh, I read the injunction.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
But guys, guys, before we get started, before we get
start out, go very important announcement. Sure, somebody we know
just got appointed to be the administrator for the Center
for Medicare and Medicaid Services. I couldn't be more excited.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Tentatively appointed doesn't come in to effect until January. But yes,
our old coworker.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
That's right.
Speaker 5 (02:05):
He once made me an egg cream which contains neither
egg nor cream. Doctor Mehmet Oz.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Yes, oh we know this guy from back in two
thousand s.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Just memat to us.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Dude, Well, he he's doctor Oz.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
But I call him doctor Oh because I think it's cool.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
But yes, the story is he and another doctor he
worked with, Doctor Rosen, wrote a series of books called
it It was the You series, like You, the Owner's Manual,
You on a diet, You being beautiful, and uh, they
would come in and shoot we shot videos for them
and did that's doctor Oz.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
Okay, So he goes back even further than my experience
because when we first started working with kind of more
outside partners and agencies and stuff to do podcasts. He
was one of the first podcasts we ever had, And
I went to New York and helped set up a
studio for him and he interviewed one of his Yeah,
he interviewed one of his doctor friends who was really
into talking about his family's legacy as the proprietors of
(03:05):
a soda fountain in Queen's or maybe it was Long Island.
And they made egg creams on the podcast and I
drank one that doctor oz himself Bay and I was
right there in the room.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
It was very surreal.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
So what we're saying, folks, essentially is, aside from our
parent company, Illumination Global Unlimited, we are super plugged in,
which is part of how we figured out the truth
behind TV court shows. We're going to pause for a
word from our sponsor. We're going to dive into this
and thank you slash Ooh, I'm so mad at you
(03:39):
to all the people who wrote in with some great
puns as well, which we'll get to at the end.
But before we do any of that, have you ever
found yourself in a kangaroo Court. So we'll pause for
a word from our sponsors, and then we'll learn more
about the idea of a kangaroo court.
Speaker 5 (04:02):
And we've returned with Ben, you teased it beautifully. We're
talking about TV court shows. We were talking about the
line between entertainment and litigation, and I think what better
way to start than with a message from Darcy with
a suggestion for a TV sitcom or perhaps it could
be a reality show court show. Here she goes, Hi, guys,
(04:24):
I love your podcast. I also tuned into Ridiculous History
with Ben and Nola periodically, but stuff they don't want
you to know is still my go to podcast to
destress after a long day. Here's a TV sitcom that
would be fun, Kangaroo Court. And I guess these are
like kind of tenets of what the show would have
to consist of. Ignores due process, has a predetermined conclusion,
(04:46):
is biased against one party as a judge who colluded
with one party. Has a jury that is not impartially
got to cast all these parts. Has proceedings that lack decorum.
How dare you not have decorra has a process that
is rushed to the point of being unfair. Has a
court that interprets the law in an unreasonable way. A
(05:07):
kangaroo court, Darcy says, is a court that is so
far removed from legal norms that it is considered unfair unjust.
The phrase may have originated in Texas and may refer
to the gold Rush era practice of minors illegally taking
land claims from others and then being tried in mock
court rooms.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
You can use my.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Name and content. I promise I won't sue you, Darcy.
Thank you so much, Darcy. In looking into this in
advance of this podcast recording, I found a really cool
article from the Christian Science Monitor.
Speaker 4 (05:41):
I remember those guys.
Speaker 5 (05:43):
Kangaroo court has a peculiarly American past. This is from
twenty nineteen, when the term was kind of seeing a
new resurgence after US Representative Steve Scalissi, is a Republican
from Louisiana, tweeted out something against speaking out against Donald
Trump's impeachment proceedings and used the hashtag kangaroo court in
(06:07):
a tweet, which is, you know, very much referring to
a concept that was outlined beautifully by Darcy. And just
to give a little bit more context. Storical context here
In seventeen seventy, Captain James Cook landed in Northern Australia
and wrote down the word king guru or kang guru.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
That's r or g u.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Are you?
Speaker 5 (06:31):
Then John Hunter mapped land near modern day Sydney and
learned that the word was in fact pata gorong. We've
got a little bit more history here about the word.
Lancelot Threlkeld, which is a fabulous name, who was a
missionary working north of Sydney heard it as moan A yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
The Oxford English Dictionary considers the etymology as of yet
not comprehensively solved.
Speaker 5 (06:58):
I see.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
So that's that's where they fallen on the matter.
Speaker 5 (07:01):
However, the Christian Science Monitors seems to think otherwise that
it was a combination of these words.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
That's not what we're talking about today.
Speaker 5 (07:08):
We're talking less about the history of the etymology of
the word itself, but rather the practice of a kangaroo court.
So according to the Christian Science Monitor piece, which by
the way, it was written by Melissa Moore in October
of twenty nineteen, she says no one knows precisely where
the term comes from. It might have originated during the
lawless days of the California gold Rush, as Darcy pointed out,
(07:30):
when miners had to create their own court systems to
adjudicate disputes over claim jumping. Another theory speculates that these
courts earned the name kangaroo because they jump to conclusions
that's very, very fun The name, in fact may have
originated as a kind of game, a mock trial, which
(07:50):
is kind of funny considering what we're talking about with
TV court shows. In eighteen fifty three, there was a
book that described an early example of a kangaroo court
as a form of entertainment in mock trial that allowed
people in a tiny Texas town to pretend and play
the parts of powerful lawyers and judges. Then, of course
(08:10):
the term did evolve or devolve into a description of
a court proceeding that is completely stacked against the person
on trial. So good example is of twentieth century kangaroo
courts would be Joseph Stalin's kangaroo courts, where anybody, you know,
they had to on paper have the appearance of some
(08:33):
sort of you know, justice being carried out, but in
fact the outcome was predetermined.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Right, Yeah, I love that You're mentioning there. Oh. First off, Darcy,
thank you so much for writing in. Really enjoyed this.
We've got to mention a little bit more about the
first recorded citation of the phrase kangaroo court eighteen fifty three.
As you alluded to, Noel, it was called a stray
Yankee in Texas, and they use the phrase kangaroo court,
(09:03):
but they also use the phrase mustang court, and they
spell it differently. It's fascinating because the earliest version of
this phrase is not Australia, it is American.
Speaker 5 (09:17):
That's exactly right, and that is in fact the sentiment
of the Christian Science Monitor article title kangaroo court has
a peculiarly American pass to You're absolutely correct, Bend. The
examples that we know historically did come from the California
gold rush area and this mock trial kind of situation
for the entertainment of the public, much like court shows
(09:39):
in Texas. And just to mention as another example of
this kind of popping up again, we mentioned the court proceedings,
the impeachment proceedings against then President Donald Trump. And you know, history,
like you say, Ben, doesn't always repeat, but it sure rhymes.
We now have this term kind of jumping up a again,
(10:01):
pointing to the accused weaponization of the justice system against Trump.
Something he said a lot on the campaign trail was
that his political rivals were weaponizing the justice system in
order to take him down, in order to neutralize him.
He often referred to it as a plot by the
(10:21):
Biden administration, and there were, you know, plenty of folks
on his side that would argue the very same thing.
Trump often said that other legal scholars, you know, backed
him up, and that this was, in fact, this hush
money trial is what we're talking about now, by the way,
in which a panel of twelve New Yorkers did, in
fact convict Trump, you know, of these crimes, you know,
(10:44):
for accepting or for organizing the payment of hush money
to the adult film actress Stormy Daniels. But some good
examples of the things someone might say if they were
in a kangaroo court situation were some of these quotes
from Trump saying, mother Teresa could not beat these charges.
These charges are rigged. The whole thing is rigged. The
idea of the verdict was a preconceived notion. So the
(11:08):
term kangaroo court has been and continues to be thrown
around for these court proceedings by the supporters and colleagues,
allies of Donald Trump, the idea that it's a conspiracy
on the part of the left's, you know, leaning side
of the US government. And that's the thing about terms
(11:28):
like this, right, I mean, there certainly are historical examples
like the Stalin trials. Very clearly no one ever had
a chance, you know, of getting a fair trial. But
it is a really good example of kind of the
rhetoric wherein by calling something fake news, or calling something
is stolen election, or calling something a kangaroo court enough times,
it starts to delegitimize the proceedings, you know, in a
(11:51):
way that can in fact stick with folks, you know,
in terms of the court of public opinion.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Just alter that perception just enough.
Speaker 5 (12:00):
That's right, oh man, And I almost forgot In terms
of another great example of what a kangaroo court is,
Matt made a note in our Strange News document that
he found the perfect example from one of the great
moments in pop culture, the Mike Judge film Idiocracy. We
don't see if we can't come up with a vidict
(12:21):
up in here now resecute him.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Why you think You've done it.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
Okay, number one, your honor, just look at him. Check
this out, man, Joe should be like guilty.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Peace, that's it.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
That's it, and that's what happens.
Speaker 5 (12:38):
So huge thanks to you, Darcy for bringing this up,
because I do think it's a very interesting thing that
some people maybe have heard the term but weren't aware
of the history and really the kind of cultural relevance,
because it is very much something. You know, we do
live in interesting times, and now that we do have
Donald Trump as president again, he has claimed to go
after his political rivals, so I do tend to wonder
(13:00):
if we may start seeing some Stalin esque kangaroo courts
on behalf of the Trump administration against folks who he
sees as having persecuted him in the past. Take a
break here, work more, sponsor, and then come back with
more messages from you.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
And we have returned. We're going to go directly to
Blue about blue zones, who followed up on a recent
statement we had regarding the concept of blue zones. Let's
go straight to the email, and then we are going
to explore it together, hopefully with you playing along at
(13:41):
home or wherever you are in this wide wide world,
Blue about Blue Zones, you said in the recent episode
about the Amish abuse scandal, you made reference to the
blue zones of the world where people are known to
live longer, and added that community is a cop invariable
in these blue zones. You know what else is a
(14:03):
common variable, fraud, deceit lies. Allegedly, a researcher named doctor
Saul Justin Newman recently won an ignoble prize for his
research debunking blue zones, claiming that the secret to an
exceptionally long life is actually a lack of paper trail
(14:26):
and plenty of bension fraud. This is me, says Blue
about Blue Zones, leading you to the edge of the
rabbit hole. I could not be more pleased with this,
fellow conspiracy realist, Blue about Blue Zones, thank you so much.
We learned about this idea a long time ago in
(14:48):
our pursuit with our Alma matter How stuff works? Blue zones,
what do you think, guys? The best way to describe
them as the idea that there are a couple of communities,
a handful of communities across the world wherein the average person,
the average human being has a much higher chance of
reaching the age of one hundred. Is that not about, right?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Yeah, or at least having an elongated lifespan of some sort, right,
longer than surrounding areas and averages for like a country
or something.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
Yeah, before we go into what you're saying blue about
blue zones and I love that description there, Matt. Please know, folks,
there are purported four to seven places like Okinawa or
Sardinia in Italy, Okinawa's and Japan technically Lo Melnda, California,
(15:42):
or of course Costa Rica. You'll also find areas of
New Jersey cited as blue zones. And for the casual reader,
this can seem like something incredibly cool, super fascinating, Like
what if there is a place in the world that
you can move to and just by living there you
(16:04):
will have a higher quality of life and you'll have
a longer quality of life experience.
Speaker 4 (16:10):
Right.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
So, a lot of people like the average age of
death varies country to country. It's higher in developed countries
than it is in underdeveloped countries, but the expiration date
for the average person in a country doesn't factor in.
Like the good times, you know, how long are you
(16:33):
hail and hardy and walking around and having adventures versus
how many decades do you spend sipping that peace soup
through a straw.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
No, you're right, man. As long as you're increasing the
quality of life, as you said, and not just the length,
then these are great.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
And I'm it's not maybe right.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
We haven't.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
We've talked about blue zones, but we're not qualified experts
studying them. This is why the research by doctor Saul
Justin Newman has rocked the assumptions about blue zones on
their foundations. Our buddy, doctor Newman won the first ever
Ignoble Award in the field of demography, in the field
(17:16):
of studying this, and he wanted because as you are
alluding to blue about blue zones, he looked into the
math like a lot of people are gonna say yes
to this. There's a cool place somewhere in Japan. There's
a cool place somewhere in California. If you show up,
not only will you live to become a centenarian, but
(17:37):
you'll also have a way better time in your eighties
and maybe even your nineties. Unfortunately, when he looked at
the research, he found a lot of it was based
on optimism maybe or willful ignorance of things like the
government records of birth dates and death dates. Doctor Newman
(18:01):
showed all these like he was He's like a guy
who issues a mixtape where he fires shots at all
the other rappers. Because he said, all right, blue zones
only makes sense if you want them to make sense
and you don't look into the research further. He said,
those myths about the world's oldest person, you know, the
(18:24):
number one award with the highest turnover historically. He said,
that only makes sense if you ignore the fact that
a lot of the documentation gets skewed because these people
are from you know, one hundred years ago. I don't know,
it's it's kind of a bummer. Maybe we should talk
a little bit about the Ignoble Prize as well.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
I do, But first the blue zones. This is my understanding.
Correct me if I'm wrong here. One of the primary
things about blue zones in the past that I've read
were about the diets of very specific regions, and that's
playing a major part in you know, how long somebody
lives because you're more healthy because you're getting more X
in your diet. In a lot of places, it's a
(19:07):
specific vegetable or specific type of very specific type of
meat that is consumed more highly than others. And I'm
just imagining how if enough of us think or believe
that those specific pieces of produce will elongate our lives,
then those fruits and vegetables become fad things, right.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Very department of truth, by the way, I'm.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Sorry, well, I mean but it's true though, because then
that becomes like I'm imagining there's a new place that
just open up near me that specializes in like smoothies
and whole foods and super fruits and all these things.
A lot of these again, like naturally growing things in
specific parts of the world that are now being grown
in mass and shipped all over everywhere, including North Georgia,
(19:55):
where people you know, consume as many of those berries
or those Japanese swee potas those as they possibly can
because they think that it's going to lead them to
these healthier lives. And you can also embolden companies to
I'm just saying it. I don't know, there's something.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Yeah, wheels within wheels. Not to be too Charlie Day
about it. I need more red strings on the back.
I need to decorate this place where I record I
look like a serial killer anyway, there. You're absolutely right, Matt,
because the typical factors for what creates a blue zone
would be a local diet, right, or a whole foods diet,
(20:33):
you would call it, right, and the you know, the
Mediterranean diet is a great example of this. It's higher
in vegetable matter, it's a little lower in carbs. Protein
is not an every meal part of existence. And then
you would also have rich social interactions or community, low stress,
(20:55):
you have a baked in amount of physical activity, which honestly,
physical activity plus diet, they're probably like the two big
factors that will help people feel healthier for longer. And
I don't want to discount rich social interactions or community.
You know, unfortunately here in the United States and in
(21:17):
other parts of the world, as people become elderly and
their friends and community members pass away, they find themselves
increasingly isolated. And that kind of isolation can be quite dangerous,
not just to mental health, but to physical health as well.
And you know, we don't have to get too into
the weeds on this, but I think all five of us, Dylan,
(21:41):
Matt Nole, yours truly and you listening at home, I
think all five of us have seen some version of this.
Speaker 4 (21:47):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Although my diet is absolute crap. I'm fully isolated. I'm
just boxing a lot, and I feel like I'm the
healthiest I've ever been.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
I'm bullish. I'm bullish on crap man. That fecal transplant
episode persuaded me.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
It fill me up with your perfect I.
Speaker 5 (22:07):
Told my girlfriend about that episode. You guys, now, that's
not a thing. It's not real.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
She just blocked it out, just refused to believe that
it is day it is.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
I told her.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
So we'll show this up to by mentioning the IG
Nobel Prize. Please check out the excellent episodes by our
pals over Stuff to blow your mind about the IG
Nobel Prize. It is a satirical prize. It's kind of,
you know, twisting the cheeks or a little adam boy
(22:37):
to the Nobel Prize, which was funded by the guy
who made up dynamite and later felt bad about it.
That's the best log line for the Nobel Prize.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Wait for the Nobel or the.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
The ig Nobel makes fun of the Nobel Prize, and
the Nobel Prize only exists because that guy killed a
ton of people by inventing dynamite.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
But he also made minds happen.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
To get all the higher great points.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Great points.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Yeah, the actual facts. Shout out to our pal Lauren Vogelbaum.
Credit where it's due, the actual facts. Nobel Prizes are
five separate awards that are that are you know, meant
to acknowledge advances in humanity's weird long form game of
(23:31):
improv primarily to assuash the conscience of Alfred Nobel, who again,
through his inventions, killed a lot of people. The Ignoble
Prize is not necessarily mean. It's not like the Darwin
Awards when you make fun of people who died. The
Ignoble Prizes are like if the Onion bought the Nobel
(23:53):
Prize foundation. They are to honor achievements that make people
laugh and then make them think. And with this debunking
of blue zones we see one of the most well
deserved Ignoble Prizes ever. It also, i would argue, prompts
a larger conversation about what the future of lifespan will
(24:16):
be for humans on this planet. I posit to you,
guys that we will see a growing inequality of lifespan.
It's already there. Between the haves and the have nots.
But as we see it becomes more expensive to eat
healthy food, as we see it becomes increasingly difficult to
live in healthy environments, as we see it become increasingly
(24:37):
implausible to avoid stuff like microplastics or airborne contaminants, We're
going to see that one of the best indicators of
long term health and life expectancy. Tell me if it's crazy, guys,
I think it's going to be income and net worth.
Speaker 5 (24:54):
Yeah, it certainly does feel like whenever we talk about
things like life extension technology and and the conspiracy theories
behind say certain industries holding back you know, cures and
remedies or perhaps you know, saving them only for the
one percent of the one percent of the one percent,
it does feel like we're already kind of heading in
(25:15):
that direction.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Well, I mean, yet, do you have time and the
energy to get exercise on a regular basis? If you do,
you likely have enough money to where, you know, whatever
other worries or you know, responsibilities you've got, you can
at least push off a little ways onto either somebody
else by paying them or you know, we've talked about
(25:38):
that before with wealth, Like that's why it's not a rule,
but often when you see someone come into money, they
get like super in shape compared to what they have
been because they have all this time.
Speaker 5 (25:51):
They're taking luxury, which you should focus on your summer
that it's seen that way.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
Like there has to be in the society like a luxury.
Speaker 5 (25:58):
Really, you know, it's unfortunate that everyone doesn't have the
opportunity or they have to like take it where they
can get it. And not to mention things like food
deserts or people that don't have access to fresh fruits
and vegetables because of economic reasons.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
I want everybody to live the best life possible for
as long as possible, you know, just don't hurt other people.
The food desert thing is a big sticking point, you know.
Here in Atlanta, we have a lot of food deserts
and we don't talk about it too publicly, but we
work assiduously to address that through asymmetrical means. And unfortunately,
(26:34):
the need to resort to asymmetrical solutions is only a
consequence of lack of legislation, right, lack of the ability
to help people, the idea that not being in the
one percent should consign a person and multiple generations thereof
to some massive disadvantage. It's just gross, it's unclean, and
(27:00):
the world population can do better. Let me step down
off this soapbox real quick. But I think we can
all agree with that. Sure, yeah, baby would be nice,
It would be nice. It would also be massive to
win a Nobel or an ag Nobel prize. Will take
either one. While you're filling out the submission form for that,
(27:23):
we can't wait to hear your results. We're going to
pause for a word from our sponsors, will return with
more messages from you. Court is in session.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Boom, and we've returned, and we're going to be reading
a story that was sent to us by Beefy. This
is a fairly long one, guys, so if you don't mind,
let's do this together. I love it when we do that.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
Chucks.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Yeah. I will start us off here, and this is
just a note about the story from Beefy. The names
have been changed to protect the innocent, even though we're
not sure if Beefy already changed the names. We just
changed them one more time. So there's so nobody is
getting in trouble for anything.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
It's not short for Beefjamen, folks, so don't try to
go forensic. We've got this covered.
Speaker 4 (28:16):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Here we go. Hey guys, this is Beefy. I'm in Denver,
been here since two thousand and one, but I grew
up in Boston. I'm forty six years old. I borrowed
some money from my friend and his living partner some
time ago. Let's call them. Craig, my male best friend
for fifteen years, and Betty, his female girlfriend at the
time they lived together. She had a young son of
(28:39):
five or so that lived with them part time. Betty
was an adult dancer, which is only relevant because of
this stupid court show.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
You continue there, Beefy. I borrowed one thousand dollars of
each of them to start a small business thing. I'm
a handyman in Denver. Some time went by and they
had a falling out. It was very bad and ugly,
and Betty pulled some shady stuff, so I did not
pay her back. I did pay Craig back, but her nah.
Speaker 5 (29:12):
A year or so went by and I randomly got
a call and it was people from the Judge Mathis show.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
They said, do you want to be on.
Speaker 5 (29:19):
TV about your case? I was like hell no, mthan no.
Then they told me that they pay the judgment if
I go on the show, and I was like, what, why,
and they said it's the only way some people will
agree to it.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
They also told me that they would fly me and
Craig out and put us up in a hotel and
we would get like one hundred and fifty dollars in.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Food vouchers US dollars.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yeah, that's correct, and I was like, f it, let's
get it done. We flew to Chicago, got picked up
in limos at the airport, and stayed in some bougie hotel.
We then went to Buka Tobpo and ate.
Speaker 5 (29:58):
As only the bo good to bestow, and ate.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
So much free Italian food we probably should have died
from heart attacks that night. The next day was insane
and weird.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
They made us dress nicely, but I wasn't good at this,
so they provided me with a shirt that I would
normally not wear. They brought us to this building where
we walked through a large warehouse type of place, lights
and crap everywhere. Then we had to stay in this
room while we waited to be on the show. People
came in periodically and tried to coach me on what
(30:33):
to say. They wanted me to play it up a
bit for entertainment purposes, et cetera. I said, sure, whatever,
and waited like six hours in this room.
Speaker 5 (30:45):
When they finally let us into the show, we walked
through this very packed warehouse type of place and then
bam right into this friggin courtroom in the middle of
the warehouse.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
It was the show.
Speaker 5 (30:56):
It was so surreal and gross. But then we walked
up to the podiums and Craig sat next to me.
The judge then did the thing and asked us about it.
The judge and the dorky bailiff guy made stupid jokes
about Betty being an adult dancer and a stripper, and
the audience laughed, and I died inside a little.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
It's so unlike me to be doing this.
Speaker 5 (31:18):
Then she told her story, and they clearly told her
to spice it up a bit.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
And here's a little side note included by Beef. Craig
and I are in the hardcore scene here in Denver.
That's a hardcore music scene. The shows there get pretty
wild and at times violent, or they can seem that
way at least. So she then tells them how crazy
we are, and we jump on speakers and kick and
punch each other for fun at these shows. The judge
(31:45):
then looks at me and says, like heavy metal stuff,
and I say, it's more punk based. Ah, so embarrassing.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Then I have to explain what happened and I did
not spice it up nor play along. They decided I
owed the money, duh, and banged the gavel and sent
us packing. They then walked us out of the building.
The whole time we walked to the cars, this lady
shamed me over and over again for not spicing it
(32:18):
up for the TV and not playing along. I was like, whatever, lady,
this isn't real. Just take me to the goddamn airport,
which they did and we flew straight back to Denver.
Speaker 4 (32:30):
What a trip.
Speaker 5 (32:31):
To this day, I can't find that video. It aired
and a lot of people made fun of me for it.
They were constantly saying, a low, dull voice, it's more
punk based. To rasp me about it. That's funny, lol.
I wish I could find that video. I tried searching
for it and nothing comes up. And Matt, I believe
you did some digging and similarly came.
Speaker 4 (32:52):
Up with nothing.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
I went through so many judge mathis clips today, you guys,
with all kinds of key words the roommate, loan, money, handyman,
a dancers, Yeah, and just there's nothing that I could
find that matched what this is, or at least the
(33:14):
story that we've got from Beef. But if you find
it that we're putting out the call right now before
we end. If you find it, you better send it
to us, please please, but also you better, but please
it's conspiracy at iHeartRadio dot com. If you find it,
center our way, Okay.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
We also want to thank everybody who wrote in with
some surprisingly surprisingly immediate first hand experiences with TV court shows.
I think we hit a nerve on that one, and
thank you so much to everybody for listening. Also, Matt,
you know what really stands out about our pal Beefe's
(33:53):
correspondence here is what we were arguing earlier. The producers
are eternally attempting to make people, you know, spice things up.
Speaker 5 (34:03):
I think I've probably mentioned it on the show before
because it's too stupid not to have, but I did
help actually on a pilot for a reality show with
the unfortunate title The Underground Runway.
Speaker 4 (34:16):
I don't think it ever got picked up.
Speaker 5 (34:17):
But it was basically about a bunch of bougie buckhead women,
which is like kind of like an affluent neighborhood here
in Atlanta, starting a fashion brand in their basement. And
they called it the Underground Runway, which I just think
is very unfortunate. But the producer it was just more
or less telling everyone exactly what to say in those testimonials,
(34:38):
coercing at the very least oftentimes straight up scripting for them.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Hmm, well yeah, I can imagine if you are being
told you're convinced to go out there, you're putting in
a you know, a luxury hotel, the limo picks you
up from the airport, you go to Buka, to freaking befo.
Speaker 5 (35:01):
Didn't they file for bankruptcy, by the way, I think
they filed.
Speaker 3 (35:04):
For the bankruptcy.
Speaker 4 (35:06):
Yes, But.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
The whole point is if you're in you're experiencing all
of that, right, and you're aware, and they're making you
painfully aware that you actually don't have any consequences for
anything that's happening here. I can imagine you might say, oh, sure,
yeah we can, we can have a little fun with
this thing, and don't you.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
Like, don't you want to be on TV.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
Yeah, I can totally.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
See you see it as well, and we maybe we
end up sharing more of these TV Court show responses
in future listener mail programs, if we if we have
just a little bit of time. We also got amazing reactions,
particular reactions to our run of improvised porn parody movie puns.
(36:00):
Yeah it's yeah. This is our official letter from moment.
I think we're all impressed by our pal, Dylan Tennessee
pal Fagan's contributions to the chat.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
Here we go, who, by the way, has changed his
name now to Dylan quote more punk based unquote Fagan.
Speaker 3 (36:18):
Yes, yeah, he's more punk based. He's locally, locally sourced
punk based, which gets into.
Speaker 4 (36:25):
His blue zo.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
All right, all right, so letters from home, Hi, game,
love the show. You can call me Deputy Drew and
use this on air. A few of my favorite parody
movie names. And I don't know if these have been
used on air or if I just heard them and
made them up at some point. So these the following
you hear, are Deputy Drew. They're not us writing this. Gentlemen,
(36:49):
I suggest we round robin these just for fun. First one,
Harry pooter and the Sorcerer's bone. Oh.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
The next one is broke back mounting.
Speaker 5 (37:04):
Lethal whooping. H I don't know about that. What's whooping?
Maybe lethal whoopye would be I think that's a misnumber there.
Speaker 3 (37:15):
I don't know if Deputy Drew has taking notes.
Speaker 5 (37:17):
But we're here to help. We are making whoopee. It's
not making whooping. Getting a whooping is getting your ass
beat by your mom.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
And that's a different show, by the way. That's we're
here to help.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
Yeah, yes, thank you, you're picking it up. So also,
instead of final destination, anal destination. Next one is one
of my favorites for the silly factor, Tiller on the roof.
Speaker 5 (37:41):
If and then if you're into a little bit more
of vanilla sex, you can go for a missionary. Impossible.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
Wouldn't that be the opposite of vanilla sex, Like it's
impossible for us to have missionary?
Speaker 5 (37:53):
There you go, I say, you know what it's all,
it's it's a creative liberty.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
That's up to the filmmakers.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
We're gonna skip one so we can go to I
think the most subtle and amazing not home Alone. There
are levels to that one, and I'm not sure, I
like all the levels.
Speaker 4 (38:14):
I don't think I understand.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
Well, okay, so we're implying that there are other people
in the house. Maybe the person believes their home alone,
but they're not, and maybe it's their stepsister. No wait what,
you're a you dirty dog again.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
We're reading these contributions from our pal, Deputy Drew, who
has worked on this for.
Speaker 4 (38:37):
A long time.
Speaker 5 (38:39):
Indeed, I guess we could wrap it up with my
personal favorite, the Lizard of Watts.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
Get it. It's not like oz wads. Shout out also
to our pal, we'll just call you thh for this
one who said the whole email is just this one.
Oppenheimen might just leave it there. Well, yeah, well done.
If you want to join the cause, no pun left behind,
we would love to hear from you. Tell us what
(39:06):
you think this is not a legally recognized court in
the United States that we do have some paperwork pending
in Vanuatu. In the meantime, we'd love to have you
be part of the show on air. Tell us your thoughts,
tell us new episodes. Find us at the email, the telephone,
or even on the lines, which I'm saying instead of online.
Speaker 5 (39:28):
Now, yeah, it's sure you can find us all over
the lines at the handle Conspiracies that where we exist
on Facebook with our Facebook group, heres where it gets Crazy,
on x FKA Twitter, as well as on YouTube, where
you can find video concerts glore for your perusing enjoyment
on Instagram and TikTok. However, we are Conspiracy Stuff Show.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
We also have a phone number. It's one eight three
three st d WYTK. When you call in, give yourself
a cool nickname, so every time you call in will
recognize you and your voice, and then let us know
inside the message whether or not we can use your
name and message in one of our listener mail episodes.
If you've got more to say than could fit in
a three minute voicemail, why not instead send us a
(40:09):
good old fashioned email.
Speaker 3 (40:10):
We are the entities that read every piece of correspondence
we receive. Be well aware, yet out afraid. Sometimes the
void writes back the puns, the leads for new episodes,
the real time in the Trenches experience we want to
hear from you. Join us out here in the dark
Conspiracy at iHeartRadio dot com.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
Stuff they Don't Want You to Know is a production
of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your face favorite shows.
From UFOs to psychic powers and government conspiracies. History is
riddled with unexplained events. You can turn back now or
learn this stuff they don't want you to know. A
production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Hello, welcome back to the show. My name is Matt,
my name is Noah.
Speaker 3 (00:28):
They call me Ben. We are joined as always with
our super producer Dylan the Tennessee pal Fagan. Most importantly,
you are you. You are here. That makes this the
stuff they don't want you to know. We always say
it because it's always true. You, fellow conspiracy realist. Specifically,
you are the most important art of the show. We
(00:50):
couldn't be more over the moon, whether Earth's moons or
other moons in the Solar system, to welcome you to
our weekly listener male segment. Happy November twenty eighth. Guys,
when this comes out, it's going to be November twenty eighth,
which I think, does that mean everybody survive Thanksgiving? Or what?
(01:10):
What does that mean?
Speaker 4 (01:11):
Whah? I would like to think. So, what does Nustra
Damas say?
Speaker 2 (01:15):
What if nobody did? But we're recording this now and
it gets played somehow accidentally on the radio or on
somebody's auto play feature and it's just playing to no one.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
And then here we are without our cravats, our bow ties,
our footmen and valets.
Speaker 4 (01:31):
I'm not even wearing pants.
Speaker 3 (01:34):
Yeah yeah, I read the Uh, I read the injunction.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
But guys, guys, before we get started, before we get
start out, go very important announcement. Sure, somebody we know
just got appointed to be the administrator for the Center
for Medicare and Medicaid Services. I couldn't be more excited.
Speaker 3 (01:57):
Tentatively appointed doesn't come in to effect until January. But yes,
our old coworker.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
That's right.
Speaker 5 (02:05):
He once made me an egg cream which contains neither
egg nor cream. Doctor Mehmet Oz.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Yes, oh we know this guy from back in two
thousand s.
Speaker 4 (02:16):
Just memat to us.
Speaker 2 (02:18):
Dude, Well, he he's doctor Oz.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
But I call him doctor Oh because I think it's cool.
Speaker 2 (02:25):
But yes, the story is he and another doctor he
worked with, Doctor Rosen, wrote a series of books called
it It was the You series, like You, the Owner's Manual,
You on a diet, You being beautiful, and uh, they
would come in and shoot we shot videos for them
and did that's doctor Oz.
Speaker 5 (02:44):
Okay, So he goes back even further than my experience
because when we first started working with kind of more
outside partners and agencies and stuff to do podcasts. He
was one of the first podcasts we ever had, And
I went to New York and helped set up a
studio for him and he interviewed one of his Yeah,
he interviewed one of his doctor friends who was really
into talking about his family's legacy as the proprietors of
(03:05):
a soda fountain in Queen's or maybe it was Long Island.
And they made egg creams on the podcast and I
drank one that doctor oz himself Bay and I was
right there in the room.
Speaker 4 (03:15):
It was very surreal.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
So what we're saying, folks, essentially is, aside from our
parent company, Illumination Global Unlimited, we are super plugged in,
which is part of how we figured out the truth
behind TV court shows. We're going to pause for a
word from our sponsor. We're going to dive into this
and thank you slash Ooh, I'm so mad at you
(03:39):
to all the people who wrote in with some great
puns as well, which we'll get to at the end.
But before we do any of that, have you ever
found yourself in a kangaroo Court. So we'll pause for
a word from our sponsors, and then we'll learn more
about the idea of a kangaroo court.
Speaker 5 (04:02):
And we've returned with Ben, you teased it beautifully. We're
talking about TV court shows. We were talking about the
line between entertainment and litigation, and I think what better
way to start than with a message from Darcy with
a suggestion for a TV sitcom or perhaps it could
be a reality show court show. Here she goes, Hi, guys,
(04:24):
I love your podcast. I also tuned into Ridiculous History
with Ben and Nola periodically, but stuff they don't want
you to know is still my go to podcast to
destress after a long day. Here's a TV sitcom that
would be fun, Kangaroo Court. And I guess these are
like kind of tenets of what the show would have
to consist of. Ignores due process, has a predetermined conclusion,
(04:46):
is biased against one party as a judge who colluded
with one party. Has a jury that is not impartially
got to cast all these parts. Has proceedings that lack decorum.
How dare you not have decorra has a process that
is rushed to the point of being unfair. Has a
court that interprets the law in an unreasonable way. A
(05:07):
kangaroo court, Darcy says, is a court that is so
far removed from legal norms that it is considered unfair unjust.
The phrase may have originated in Texas and may refer
to the gold Rush era practice of minors illegally taking
land claims from others and then being tried in mock
court rooms.
Speaker 4 (05:26):
You can use my.
Speaker 5 (05:27):
Name and content. I promise I won't sue you, Darcy.
Thank you so much, Darcy. In looking into this in
advance of this podcast recording, I found a really cool
article from the Christian Science Monitor.
Speaker 4 (05:41):
I remember those guys.
Speaker 5 (05:43):
Kangaroo court has a peculiarly American past. This is from
twenty nineteen, when the term was kind of seeing a
new resurgence after US Representative Steve Scalissi, is a Republican
from Louisiana, tweeted out something against speaking out against Donald
Trump's impeachment proceedings and used the hashtag kangaroo court in
(06:07):
a tweet, which is, you know, very much referring to
a concept that was outlined beautifully by Darcy. And just
to give a little bit more context. Storical context here
In seventeen seventy, Captain James Cook landed in Northern Australia
and wrote down the word king guru or kang guru.
Speaker 4 (06:27):
That's r or g u.
Speaker 1 (06:30):
Are you?
Speaker 5 (06:31):
Then John Hunter mapped land near modern day Sydney and
learned that the word was in fact pata gorong. We've
got a little bit more history here about the word.
Lancelot Threlkeld, which is a fabulous name, who was a
missionary working north of Sydney heard it as moan A yeah.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
The Oxford English Dictionary considers the etymology as of yet
not comprehensively solved.
Speaker 5 (06:58):
I see.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
So that's that's where they fallen on the matter.
Speaker 5 (07:01):
However, the Christian Science Monitors seems to think otherwise that
it was a combination of these words.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
That's not what we're talking about today.
Speaker 5 (07:08):
We're talking less about the history of the etymology of
the word itself, but rather the practice of a kangaroo court.
So according to the Christian Science Monitor piece, which by
the way, it was written by Melissa Moore in October
of twenty nineteen, she says no one knows precisely where
the term comes from. It might have originated during the
lawless days of the California gold Rush, as Darcy pointed out,
(07:30):
when miners had to create their own court systems to
adjudicate disputes over claim jumping. Another theory speculates that these
courts earned the name kangaroo because they jump to conclusions
that's very, very fun The name, in fact may have
originated as a kind of game, a mock trial, which
(07:50):
is kind of funny considering what we're talking about with
TV court shows. In eighteen fifty three, there was a
book that described an early example of a kangaroo court
as a form of entertainment in mock trial that allowed
people in a tiny Texas town to pretend and play
the parts of powerful lawyers and judges. Then, of course
(08:10):
the term did evolve or devolve into a description of
a court proceeding that is completely stacked against the person
on trial. So good example is of twentieth century kangaroo
courts would be Joseph Stalin's kangaroo courts, where anybody, you know,
they had to on paper have the appearance of some
(08:33):
sort of you know, justice being carried out, but in
fact the outcome was predetermined.
Speaker 3 (08:38):
Right, Yeah, I love that You're mentioning there. Oh. First off, Darcy,
thank you so much for writing in. Really enjoyed this.
We've got to mention a little bit more about the
first recorded citation of the phrase kangaroo court eighteen fifty three.
As you alluded to, Noel, it was called a stray
Yankee in Texas, and they use the phrase kangaroo court,
(09:03):
but they also use the phrase mustang court, and they
spell it differently. It's fascinating because the earliest version of
this phrase is not Australia, it is American.
Speaker 5 (09:17):
That's exactly right, and that is in fact the sentiment
of the Christian Science Monitor article title kangaroo court has
a peculiarly American pass to You're absolutely correct, Bend. The
examples that we know historically did come from the California
gold rush area and this mock trial kind of situation
for the entertainment of the public, much like court shows
(09:39):
in Texas. And just to mention as another example of
this kind of popping up again, we mentioned the court proceedings,
the impeachment proceedings against then President Donald Trump. And you know, history,
like you say, Ben, doesn't always repeat, but it sure rhymes.
We now have this term kind of jumping up a again,
(10:01):
pointing to the accused weaponization of the justice system against Trump.
Something he said a lot on the campaign trail was
that his political rivals were weaponizing the justice system in
order to take him down, in order to neutralize him.
He often referred to it as a plot by the
(10:21):
Biden administration, and there were, you know, plenty of folks
on his side that would argue the very same thing.
Trump often said that other legal scholars, you know, backed
him up, and that this was, in fact, this hush
money trial is what we're talking about now, by the way,
in which a panel of twelve New Yorkers did, in
fact convict Trump, you know, of these crimes, you know,
(10:44):
for accepting or for organizing the payment of hush money
to the adult film actress Stormy Daniels. But some good
examples of the things someone might say if they were
in a kangaroo court situation were some of these quotes
from Trump saying, mother Teresa could not beat these charges.
These charges are rigged. The whole thing is rigged. The
idea of the verdict was a preconceived notion. So the
(11:08):
term kangaroo court has been and continues to be thrown
around for these court proceedings by the supporters and colleagues,
allies of Donald Trump, the idea that it's a conspiracy
on the part of the left's, you know, leaning side
of the US government. And that's the thing about terms
(11:28):
like this, right, I mean, there certainly are historical examples
like the Stalin trials. Very clearly no one ever had
a chance, you know, of getting a fair trial. But
it is a really good example of kind of the
rhetoric wherein by calling something fake news, or calling something
is stolen election, or calling something a kangaroo court enough times,
it starts to delegitimize the proceedings, you know, in a
(11:51):
way that can in fact stick with folks, you know,
in terms of the court of public opinion.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Just alter that perception just enough.
Speaker 5 (12:00):
That's right, oh man, And I almost forgot In terms
of another great example of what a kangaroo court is,
Matt made a note in our Strange News document that
he found the perfect example from one of the great
moments in pop culture, the Mike Judge film Idiocracy. We
don't see if we can't come up with a vidict
(12:21):
up in here now resecute him.
Speaker 3 (12:23):
Why you think You've done it.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
Okay, number one, your honor, just look at him. Check
this out, man, Joe should be like guilty.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Peace, that's it.
Speaker 4 (12:35):
That's it, and that's what happens.
Speaker 5 (12:38):
So huge thanks to you, Darcy for bringing this up,
because I do think it's a very interesting thing that
some people maybe have heard the term but weren't aware
of the history and really the kind of cultural relevance,
because it is very much something. You know, we do
live in interesting times, and now that we do have
Donald Trump as president again, he has claimed to go
after his political rivals, so I do tend to wonder
(13:00):
if we may start seeing some Stalin esque kangaroo courts
on behalf of the Trump administration against folks who he
sees as having persecuted him in the past. Take a
break here, work more, sponsor, and then come back with
more messages from you.
Speaker 3 (13:19):
And we have returned. We're going to go directly to
Blue about blue zones, who followed up on a recent
statement we had regarding the concept of blue zones. Let's
go straight to the email, and then we are going
to explore it together, hopefully with you playing along at
(13:41):
home or wherever you are in this wide wide world,
Blue about Blue Zones, you said in the recent episode
about the Amish abuse scandal, you made reference to the
blue zones of the world where people are known to
live longer, and added that community is a cop invariable
in these blue zones. You know what else is a
(14:03):
common variable, fraud, deceit lies. Allegedly, a researcher named doctor
Saul Justin Newman recently won an ignoble prize for his
research debunking blue zones, claiming that the secret to an
exceptionally long life is actually a lack of paper trail
(14:26):
and plenty of bension fraud. This is me, says Blue
about Blue Zones, leading you to the edge of the
rabbit hole. I could not be more pleased with this,
fellow conspiracy realist, Blue about Blue Zones, thank you so much.
We learned about this idea a long time ago in
(14:48):
our pursuit with our Alma matter How stuff works? Blue zones,
what do you think, guys? The best way to describe
them as the idea that there are a couple of communities,
a handful of communities across the world wherein the average person,
the average human being has a much higher chance of
reaching the age of one hundred. Is that not about, right?
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Yeah, or at least having an elongated lifespan of some sort, right,
longer than surrounding areas and averages for like a country
or something.
Speaker 3 (15:21):
Yeah, before we go into what you're saying blue about
blue zones and I love that description there, Matt. Please know, folks,
there are purported four to seven places like Okinawa or
Sardinia in Italy, Okinawa's and Japan technically Lo Melnda, California,
(15:42):
or of course Costa Rica. You'll also find areas of
New Jersey cited as blue zones. And for the casual reader,
this can seem like something incredibly cool, super fascinating, Like
what if there is a place in the world that
you can move to and just by living there you
(16:04):
will have a higher quality of life and you'll have
a longer quality of life experience.
Speaker 4 (16:10):
Right.
Speaker 3 (16:10):
So, a lot of people like the average age of
death varies country to country. It's higher in developed countries
than it is in underdeveloped countries, but the expiration date
for the average person in a country doesn't factor in.
Like the good times, you know, how long are you
(16:33):
hail and hardy and walking around and having adventures versus
how many decades do you spend sipping that peace soup
through a straw.
Speaker 2 (16:41):
No, you're right, man. As long as you're increasing the
quality of life, as you said, and not just the length,
then these are great.
Speaker 3 (16:51):
And I'm it's not maybe right.
Speaker 4 (16:52):
We haven't.
Speaker 3 (16:53):
We've talked about blue zones, but we're not qualified experts
studying them. This is why the research by doctor Saul
Justin Newman has rocked the assumptions about blue zones on
their foundations. Our buddy, doctor Newman won the first ever
Ignoble Award in the field of demography, in the field
(17:16):
of studying this, and he wanted because as you are
alluding to blue about blue zones, he looked into the
math like a lot of people are gonna say yes
to this. There's a cool place somewhere in Japan. There's
a cool place somewhere in California. If you show up,
not only will you live to become a centenarian, but
(17:37):
you'll also have a way better time in your eighties
and maybe even your nineties. Unfortunately, when he looked at
the research, he found a lot of it was based
on optimism maybe or willful ignorance of things like the
government records of birth dates and death dates. Doctor Newman
(18:01):
showed all these like he was He's like a guy
who issues a mixtape where he fires shots at all
the other rappers. Because he said, all right, blue zones
only makes sense if you want them to make sense
and you don't look into the research further. He said,
those myths about the world's oldest person, you know, the
(18:24):
number one award with the highest turnover historically. He said,
that only makes sense if you ignore the fact that
a lot of the documentation gets skewed because these people
are from you know, one hundred years ago. I don't know,
it's it's kind of a bummer. Maybe we should talk
a little bit about the Ignoble Prize as well.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
I do, But first the blue zones. This is my understanding.
Correct me if I'm wrong here. One of the primary
things about blue zones in the past that I've read
were about the diets of very specific regions, and that's
playing a major part in you know, how long somebody
lives because you're more healthy because you're getting more X
in your diet. In a lot of places, it's a
(19:07):
specific vegetable or specific type of very specific type of
meat that is consumed more highly than others. And I'm
just imagining how if enough of us think or believe
that those specific pieces of produce will elongate our lives,
then those fruits and vegetables become fad things, right.
Speaker 3 (19:30):
Very department of truth, by the way, I'm.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Sorry, well, I mean but it's true though, because then
that becomes like I'm imagining there's a new place that
just open up near me that specializes in like smoothies
and whole foods and super fruits and all these things.
A lot of these again, like naturally growing things in
specific parts of the world that are now being grown
in mass and shipped all over everywhere, including North Georgia,
(19:55):
where people you know, consume as many of those berries
or those Japanese swee potas those as they possibly can
because they think that it's going to lead them to
these healthier lives. And you can also embolden companies to
I'm just saying it. I don't know, there's something.
Speaker 3 (20:10):
Yeah, wheels within wheels. Not to be too Charlie Day
about it. I need more red strings on the back.
I need to decorate this place where I record I
look like a serial killer anyway, there. You're absolutely right, Matt,
because the typical factors for what creates a blue zone
would be a local diet, right, or a whole foods diet,
(20:33):
you would call it, right, and the you know, the
Mediterranean diet is a great example of this. It's higher
in vegetable matter, it's a little lower in carbs. Protein
is not an every meal part of existence. And then
you would also have rich social interactions or community, low stress,
(20:55):
you have a baked in amount of physical activity, which honestly,
physical activity plus diet, they're probably like the two big
factors that will help people feel healthier for longer. And
I don't want to discount rich social interactions or community.
You know, unfortunately here in the United States and in
(21:17):
other parts of the world, as people become elderly and
their friends and community members pass away, they find themselves
increasingly isolated. And that kind of isolation can be quite dangerous,
not just to mental health, but to physical health as well.
And you know, we don't have to get too into
the weeds on this, but I think all five of us, Dylan,
(21:41):
Matt Nole, yours truly and you listening at home, I
think all five of us have seen some version of this.
Speaker 4 (21:47):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Although my diet is absolute crap. I'm fully isolated. I'm
just boxing a lot, and I feel like I'm the
healthiest I've ever been.
Speaker 3 (21:56):
I'm bullish. I'm bullish on crap man. That fecal transplant
episode persuaded me.
Speaker 2 (22:02):
It fill me up with your perfect I.
Speaker 5 (22:07):
Told my girlfriend about that episode. You guys, now, that's
not a thing. It's not real.
Speaker 3 (22:11):
She just blocked it out, just refused to believe that
it is day it is.
Speaker 4 (22:15):
I told her.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
So we'll show this up to by mentioning the IG
Nobel Prize. Please check out the excellent episodes by our
pals over Stuff to blow your mind about the IG
Nobel Prize. It is a satirical prize. It's kind of,
you know, twisting the cheeks or a little adam boy
(22:37):
to the Nobel Prize, which was funded by the guy
who made up dynamite and later felt bad about it.
That's the best log line for the Nobel Prize.
Speaker 2 (22:49):
Wait for the Nobel or the.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
The ig Nobel makes fun of the Nobel Prize, and
the Nobel Prize only exists because that guy killed a
ton of people by inventing dynamite.
Speaker 2 (23:01):
But he also made minds happen.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
To get all the higher great points.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
Great points.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Yeah, the actual facts. Shout out to our pal Lauren Vogelbaum.
Credit where it's due, the actual facts. Nobel Prizes are
five separate awards that are that are you know, meant
to acknowledge advances in humanity's weird long form game of
(23:31):
improv primarily to assuash the conscience of Alfred Nobel, who again,
through his inventions, killed a lot of people. The Ignoble
Prize is not necessarily mean. It's not like the Darwin
Awards when you make fun of people who died. The
Ignoble Prizes are like if the Onion bought the Nobel
(23:53):
Prize foundation. They are to honor achievements that make people
laugh and then make them think. And with this debunking
of blue zones we see one of the most well
deserved Ignoble Prizes ever. It also, i would argue, prompts
a larger conversation about what the future of lifespan will
(24:16):
be for humans on this planet. I posit to you,
guys that we will see a growing inequality of lifespan.
It's already there. Between the haves and the have nots.
But as we see it becomes more expensive to eat
healthy food, as we see it becomes increasingly difficult to
live in healthy environments, as we see it become increasingly
(24:37):
implausible to avoid stuff like microplastics or airborne contaminants, We're
going to see that one of the best indicators of
long term health and life expectancy. Tell me if it's crazy, guys,
I think it's going to be income and net worth.
Speaker 5 (24:54):
Yeah, it certainly does feel like whenever we talk about
things like life extension technology and and the conspiracy theories
behind say certain industries holding back you know, cures and
remedies or perhaps you know, saving them only for the
one percent of the one percent of the one percent,
it does feel like we're already kind of heading in
(25:15):
that direction.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
Well, I mean, yet, do you have time and the
energy to get exercise on a regular basis? If you do,
you likely have enough money to where, you know, whatever
other worries or you know, responsibilities you've got, you can
at least push off a little ways onto either somebody
else by paying them or you know, we've talked about
(25:38):
that before with wealth, Like that's why it's not a rule,
but often when you see someone come into money, they
get like super in shape compared to what they have
been because they have all this time.
Speaker 5 (25:51):
They're taking luxury, which you should focus on your summer
that it's seen that way.
Speaker 4 (25:56):
Like there has to be in the society like a luxury.
Speaker 5 (25:58):
Really, you know, it's unfortunate that everyone doesn't have the
opportunity or they have to like take it where they
can get it. And not to mention things like food
deserts or people that don't have access to fresh fruits
and vegetables because of economic reasons.
Speaker 3 (26:11):
I want everybody to live the best life possible for
as long as possible, you know, just don't hurt other people.
The food desert thing is a big sticking point, you know.
Here in Atlanta, we have a lot of food deserts
and we don't talk about it too publicly, but we
work assiduously to address that through asymmetrical means. And unfortunately,
(26:34):
the need to resort to asymmetrical solutions is only a
consequence of lack of legislation, right, lack of the ability
to help people, the idea that not being in the
one percent should consign a person and multiple generations thereof
to some massive disadvantage. It's just gross, it's unclean, and
(27:00):
the world population can do better. Let me step down
off this soapbox real quick. But I think we can
all agree with that. Sure, yeah, baby would be nice,
It would be nice. It would also be massive to
win a Nobel or an ag Nobel prize. Will take
either one. While you're filling out the submission form for that,
(27:23):
we can't wait to hear your results. We're going to
pause for a word from our sponsors, will return with
more messages from you. Court is in session.
Speaker 2 (27:32):
Boom, and we've returned, and we're going to be reading
a story that was sent to us by Beefy. This
is a fairly long one, guys, so if you don't mind,
let's do this together. I love it when we do that.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
Chucks.
Speaker 2 (27:51):
Yeah. I will start us off here, and this is
just a note about the story from Beefy. The names
have been changed to protect the innocent, even though we're
not sure if Beefy already changed the names. We just
changed them one more time. So there's so nobody is
getting in trouble for anything.
Speaker 3 (28:09):
It's not short for Beefjamen, folks, so don't try to
go forensic. We've got this covered.
Speaker 4 (28:16):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (28:16):
Here we go. Hey guys, this is Beefy. I'm in Denver,
been here since two thousand and one, but I grew
up in Boston. I'm forty six years old. I borrowed
some money from my friend and his living partner some
time ago. Let's call them. Craig, my male best friend
for fifteen years, and Betty, his female girlfriend at the
time they lived together. She had a young son of
(28:39):
five or so that lived with them part time. Betty
was an adult dancer, which is only relevant because of
this stupid court show.
Speaker 3 (28:48):
You continue there, Beefy. I borrowed one thousand dollars of
each of them to start a small business thing. I'm
a handyman in Denver. Some time went by and they
had a falling out. It was very bad and ugly,
and Betty pulled some shady stuff, so I did not
pay her back. I did pay Craig back, but her nah.
Speaker 5 (29:12):
A year or so went by and I randomly got
a call and it was people from the Judge Mathis show.
Speaker 4 (29:18):
They said, do you want to be on.
Speaker 5 (29:19):
TV about your case? I was like hell no, mthan no.
Then they told me that they pay the judgment if
I go on the show, and I was like, what, why,
and they said it's the only way some people will
agree to it.
Speaker 2 (29:36):
They also told me that they would fly me and
Craig out and put us up in a hotel and
we would get like one hundred and fifty dollars in.
Speaker 3 (29:43):
Food vouchers US dollars.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
Yeah, that's correct, and I was like, f it, let's
get it done. We flew to Chicago, got picked up
in limos at the airport, and stayed in some bougie hotel.
We then went to Buka Tobpo and ate.
Speaker 5 (29:58):
As only the bo good to bestow, and ate.
Speaker 2 (30:03):
So much free Italian food we probably should have died
from heart attacks that night. The next day was insane
and weird.
Speaker 3 (30:12):
They made us dress nicely, but I wasn't good at this,
so they provided me with a shirt that I would
normally not wear. They brought us to this building where
we walked through a large warehouse type of place, lights
and crap everywhere. Then we had to stay in this
room while we waited to be on the show. People
came in periodically and tried to coach me on what
(30:33):
to say. They wanted me to play it up a
bit for entertainment purposes, et cetera. I said, sure, whatever,
and waited like six hours in this room.
Speaker 5 (30:45):
When they finally let us into the show, we walked
through this very packed warehouse type of place and then
bam right into this friggin courtroom in the middle of
the warehouse.
Speaker 4 (30:54):
It was the show.
Speaker 5 (30:56):
It was so surreal and gross. But then we walked
up to the podiums and Craig sat next to me.
The judge then did the thing and asked us about it.
The judge and the dorky bailiff guy made stupid jokes
about Betty being an adult dancer and a stripper, and
the audience laughed, and I died inside a little.
Speaker 4 (31:16):
It's so unlike me to be doing this.
Speaker 5 (31:18):
Then she told her story, and they clearly told her
to spice it up a bit.
Speaker 2 (31:23):
And here's a little side note included by Beef. Craig
and I are in the hardcore scene here in Denver.
That's a hardcore music scene. The shows there get pretty
wild and at times violent, or they can seem that
way at least. So she then tells them how crazy
we are, and we jump on speakers and kick and
punch each other for fun at these shows. The judge
(31:45):
then looks at me and says, like heavy metal stuff,
and I say, it's more punk based. Ah, so embarrassing.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
Then I have to explain what happened and I did
not spice it up nor play along. They decided I
owed the money, duh, and banged the gavel and sent
us packing. They then walked us out of the building.
The whole time we walked to the cars, this lady
shamed me over and over again for not spicing it
(32:18):
up for the TV and not playing along. I was like, whatever, lady,
this isn't real. Just take me to the goddamn airport,
which they did and we flew straight back to Denver.
Speaker 4 (32:30):
What a trip.
Speaker 5 (32:31):
To this day, I can't find that video. It aired
and a lot of people made fun of me for it.
They were constantly saying, a low, dull voice, it's more
punk based. To rasp me about it. That's funny, lol.
I wish I could find that video. I tried searching
for it and nothing comes up. And Matt, I believe
you did some digging and similarly came.
Speaker 4 (32:52):
Up with nothing.
Speaker 2 (32:53):
I went through so many judge mathis clips today, you guys,
with all kinds of key words the roommate, loan, money, handyman,
a dancers, Yeah, and just there's nothing that I could
find that matched what this is, or at least the
(33:14):
story that we've got from Beef. But if you find
it that we're putting out the call right now before
we end. If you find it, you better send it
to us, please please, but also you better, but please
it's conspiracy at iHeartRadio dot com. If you find it,
center our way, Okay.
Speaker 3 (33:32):
We also want to thank everybody who wrote in with
some surprisingly surprisingly immediate first hand experiences with TV court shows.
I think we hit a nerve on that one, and
thank you so much to everybody for listening. Also, Matt,
you know what really stands out about our pal Beefe's
(33:53):
correspondence here is what we were arguing earlier. The producers
are eternally attempting to make people, you know, spice things up.
Speaker 5 (34:03):
I think I've probably mentioned it on the show before
because it's too stupid not to have, but I did
help actually on a pilot for a reality show with
the unfortunate title The Underground Runway.
Speaker 4 (34:16):
I don't think it ever got picked up.
Speaker 5 (34:17):
But it was basically about a bunch of bougie buckhead women,
which is like kind of like an affluent neighborhood here
in Atlanta, starting a fashion brand in their basement. And
they called it the Underground Runway, which I just think
is very unfortunate. But the producer it was just more
or less telling everyone exactly what to say in those testimonials,
(34:38):
coercing at the very least oftentimes straight up scripting for them.
Speaker 2 (34:44):
Hmm, well yeah, I can imagine if you are being
told you're convinced to go out there, you're putting in
a you know, a luxury hotel, the limo picks you
up from the airport, you go to Buka, to freaking befo.
Speaker 5 (35:01):
Didn't they file for bankruptcy, by the way, I think
they filed.
Speaker 3 (35:04):
For the bankruptcy.
Speaker 4 (35:06):
Yes, But.
Speaker 2 (35:10):
The whole point is if you're in you're experiencing all
of that, right, and you're aware, and they're making you
painfully aware that you actually don't have any consequences for
anything that's happening here. I can imagine you might say, oh, sure,
yeah we can, we can have a little fun with
this thing, and don't you.
Speaker 3 (35:28):
Like, don't you want to be on TV.
Speaker 2 (35:30):
Yeah, I can totally.
Speaker 3 (35:32):
See you see it as well, and we maybe we
end up sharing more of these TV Court show responses
in future listener mail programs, if we if we have
just a little bit of time. We also got amazing reactions,
particular reactions to our run of improvised porn parody movie puns.
(36:00):
Yeah it's yeah. This is our official letter from moment.
I think we're all impressed by our pal, Dylan Tennessee
pal Fagan's contributions to the chat.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
Here we go, who, by the way, has changed his
name now to Dylan quote more punk based unquote Fagan.
Speaker 3 (36:18):
Yes, yeah, he's more punk based. He's locally, locally sourced
punk based, which gets into.
Speaker 4 (36:25):
His blue zo.
Speaker 3 (36:26):
All right, all right, so letters from home, Hi, game,
love the show. You can call me Deputy Drew and
use this on air. A few of my favorite parody
movie names. And I don't know if these have been
used on air or if I just heard them and
made them up at some point. So these the following
you hear, are Deputy Drew. They're not us writing this. Gentlemen,
(36:49):
I suggest we round robin these just for fun. First one,
Harry pooter and the Sorcerer's bone. Oh.
Speaker 2 (37:00):
The next one is broke back mounting.
Speaker 5 (37:04):
Lethal whooping. H I don't know about that. What's whooping?
Maybe lethal whoopye would be I think that's a misnumber there.
Speaker 3 (37:15):
I don't know if Deputy Drew has taking notes.
Speaker 5 (37:17):
But we're here to help. We are making whoopee. It's
not making whooping. Getting a whooping is getting your ass
beat by your mom.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
And that's a different show, by the way. That's we're
here to help.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
Yeah, yes, thank you, you're picking it up. So also,
instead of final destination, anal destination. Next one is one
of my favorites for the silly factor, Tiller on the roof.
Speaker 5 (37:41):
If and then if you're into a little bit more
of vanilla sex, you can go for a missionary. Impossible.
Speaker 3 (37:49):
Wouldn't that be the opposite of vanilla sex, Like it's
impossible for us to have missionary?
Speaker 5 (37:53):
There you go, I say, you know what it's all,
it's it's a creative liberty.
Speaker 4 (37:57):
That's up to the filmmakers.
Speaker 3 (38:00):
We're gonna skip one so we can go to I
think the most subtle and amazing not home Alone. There
are levels to that one, and I'm not sure, I
like all the levels.
Speaker 4 (38:14):
I don't think I understand.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
Well, okay, so we're implying that there are other people
in the house. Maybe the person believes their home alone,
but they're not, and maybe it's their stepsister. No wait what,
you're a you dirty dog again.
Speaker 3 (38:32):
We're reading these contributions from our pal, Deputy Drew, who
has worked on this for.
Speaker 4 (38:37):
A long time.
Speaker 5 (38:39):
Indeed, I guess we could wrap it up with my
personal favorite, the Lizard of Watts.
Speaker 3 (38:44):
Get it. It's not like oz wads. Shout out also
to our pal, we'll just call you thh for this
one who said the whole email is just this one.
Oppenheimen might just leave it there. Well, yeah, well done.
If you want to join the cause, no pun left behind,
we would love to hear from you. Tell us what
(39:06):
you think this is not a legally recognized court in
the United States that we do have some paperwork pending
in Vanuatu. In the meantime, we'd love to have you
be part of the show on air. Tell us your thoughts,
tell us new episodes. Find us at the email, the telephone,
or even on the lines, which I'm saying instead of online.
Speaker 5 (39:28):
Now, yeah, it's sure you can find us all over
the lines at the handle Conspiracies that where we exist
on Facebook with our Facebook group, heres where it gets Crazy,
on x FKA Twitter, as well as on YouTube, where
you can find video concerts glore for your perusing enjoyment
on Instagram and TikTok. However, we are Conspiracy Stuff Show.
Speaker 2 (39:48):
We also have a phone number. It's one eight three
three st d WYTK. When you call in, give yourself
a cool nickname, so every time you call in will
recognize you and your voice, and then let us know
inside the message whether or not we can use your
name and message in one of our listener mail episodes.
If you've got more to say than could fit in
a three minute voicemail, why not instead send us a
(40:09):
good old fashioned email.
Speaker 3 (40:10):
We are the entities that read every piece of correspondence
we receive. Be well aware, yet out afraid. Sometimes the
void writes back the puns, the leads for new episodes,
the real time in the Trenches experience we want to
hear from you. Join us out here in the dark
Conspiracy at iHeartRadio dot com.
Speaker 2 (40:50):
Stuff they Don't Want You to Know is a production
of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,
Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your face favorite shows.
Stuff They Don't Want You To Know News
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Matt Frederick
Ben Bowlin
Noel Brown
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