Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
On the Big Dog Cast, the questions asked if movies
have women inum, are all their discussions just boyfriends and
husbands or do they have individualism the patriarchy? Zef and
best start changing it with the Beck Doll Cast. Welcome
to the studies. You're hostening back fast and Jamie loved
(00:21):
it to our live show as a Boston from the
ours possible. Thanks for having us here and to improv Boston. Yeah. Yeah,
we're happy to be here. I'm doing a good job
so far. You're killing it. I'm killing it. We're very sleepy.
(00:43):
I'm hilarious. Less than twenty four hours ago we recorded
another live episode, well, actually like twelve hours. Yeah, we're
episode in New York City. I ever heard of it?
Bit there and then we slept next to each other
on a coach bus. This morning was very intimate. Yeah,
it's nice. At least we don't have to share a
(01:04):
mike this time. Last night we were scissoring each other
in order to share a mike. It was very cute.
People loved it. I suggested, what was the name change?
The Scissor Friends. That's the news. We're scrapping the bike podcast.
Who has listened to our podcast before last time, last
(01:29):
time we did our first live episode or in April,
and everyone was like, like everyone had wandered into the
wrong round. Has anyone not heard an episode of the
Bectel Cast before? Oh, I brought my hertphon, got good,
let's just okay, Uh, that's okay. We'll explain to you
what it did. We sure will. The Bectel Cast is
(01:52):
inspired by the Bechtel Test. It's a test that requires
that a movie or a TV show or anything with
characters in a story has two women. They have to
speak to each other. Those two women characters have to
have names, and their conversation has to be about something
other than a man. Don't pass. It sounds like a joke,
(02:12):
but it is just tragically nine of movies in existence. Yes,
So we're here to talk about the portrayal of women
and movies and how it's shitty and how it should
be better. Where the scissor friends, And then we're talking
about a specific movie today. Also, the last time we
(02:33):
recorded a live episode here, we're like, Hey, has anyone
seen Dirty Dancing? The movie we're talking about today, And
everyone's like, no, what is this? What's the movie? What's
the movie Real Feral Degenerates here last you're returning audience member.
(02:53):
It made a real weird last So today we're talking
about Men and Black by dam Plaus who has not
seen Men and a calling out a name. We're about
to spoil every second of it, so I'm sorry. One
of those movies that is again on television all one
(03:14):
percent of the time. It's well, really quick. I just
wanted to check in with our usual stuff at the top,
Alfred Billina, check for people who isn't well. We know
we do have an upda Alfred Billina. We didn't talk
about it at the Scissor Friends last night. Wait what
is it? So we normally work with our producer Aristotle,
and he was near Alfred Molina a couple of days ago. Yes,
(03:38):
and oh wait, no, it's tomorrow. It's tomorrow. I think
he's gonna be near Alfred Billina on nine eleven. Never
forget Alfre Billina probably doesn't forget nine eleven, one of
the many amazing qualities he has. I've sent a lot
of confusion from the audience. Why are they talking about
(04:01):
Alfred Blayna so much on the podcast about the portrayal
of women in movies because Alfred Molina, well he's an ally,
he's our greatest ally probably. He's also a master of
his craft, and we just respect what he does so much,
beginning with the Royal Shakespeare Company in the late nineties seventies. Hey,
(04:23):
what's the rules our guest, I'll check it a little later. Okay,
oh yeah, without much further ado. So we have every
episode we we talked about a specific movie, and we
have a guest to help us. Not that we need it,
but we're happy to have our guests here. Our guest today,
(04:45):
we don't need him. Thanks for voluntaring your time, you
dumb bit. He's a friend of our she's a friend
of the cast. He's so funny. He's a local comic
here in Boston. Give it up for Sam. Thank you,
(05:14):
thank you, thank you. I love how it just started
with we basically we just came on until this guy.
We didn't want him, we did not need him. We're
just saying we could, we could do it alone. We've
never had a live podcast with alive man before. Most
(05:35):
of our male guests are kidd evers, but we we
we recording studio in our studio. We are studio. We're millionaires.
We only recording in the studio that we usually restrain
the male guest depending on how threatening they seem with
any assortment of Bungee's chains. SAMs says a bungee guy.
(05:58):
He's like, yeah, he's not gonna hurt us. I'm easily
the weakest man in this block. I don't think Sam
could escape the bungees. Well, Sam, thank you so much
for being here and for bringing us the movie Men
in Black? Tell us why is there a special isn't
(06:21):
you chose this movie? What's your history with it? How
many times you've seen it? I believe in aliens because
of this movie. Okay, I bought into it. I saw
it and I was like, that seems accurate. And this
is more of like an indoctrination. Someone told me I
(06:43):
could talk about in a movie for an hour, and
I was like, oh, and I could convince people that
aliens exist. Great, I'm really excited to come so Okay, Well, honestly,
(07:04):
I think there probably is. I mean, the universe is infinite.
Here's what happened, all right, let me start over. Well
you know what happened? I don't. I'm looking started at
the beginning. Well, when did you see the movie? I
saw ninety six when he came out. I think he
came out of ninety six ninety seven? Is that you
(07:28):
Jamie's mother? She cannot have placed herself in a more
prominent places. She basically has a spotlight? Did you know
that beforehand? Absolutely? I saw it saves around in It's
(07:52):
Just Your Life was ninety five skip ninety six, So
you saw it early when it came out, Yeah, multiple times.
I loved it. I used to when my friends, I
used to try to sapplemtory. Yeahs called what's it called?
What's that? They called the neuralize? Yeah, I shot and
(08:13):
neuralize my friends. Didn't they have nose neuralized movie? I
love how interactive of the show. This it's a live event, dynamic.
There's neuralizers. Didn't they have them at like Burger King
(08:35):
or something? There was like Burger King and kind of
black Boys, and I very specifically remember wanting Yeah it
came with that, and it came and then it was
a little alien from the video. Yeah. First of all,
I love that, Like there's just an era with movies
with family friendly rapped theme songs. This is one of
(08:55):
the best. It's not better than Wild Wild West. The
theme song Wall West his fants house singing I loved
l O cou j deep blue c Yeah, I'm a
shark Fin song was called shark Fit. Yeah. Have you
heard it? Ladies love Cold Chance, I'll check it out.
(09:21):
One of my favorite movies, Master of Disguise. They failed,
Dana Carr ended Dana Carvey's career. Davia Carby is amazing.
He's still alive today given the fact that this movie exists.
But he u there was a rap theme song for that,
but no one saw the movie and the song was garbage.
(09:41):
So I'm always disappointed when a movie has a bad
rap song like that was the reason why. Then like Carol, Yeah,
rap song and Carol was terrible. It just like didn't Yeah,
it didn't fit the movie. Check came rap imagine great
(10:04):
with that, I think, yeah, you gotta go. I mean,
I think that Carol is going to have a second
coming featuring Rooney Merrit and with this a little alien,
(10:29):
black alien story, I'm speaking at home man in black. Um,
when did you first see it, Jamie? Did you see
it with your mom in Well, I certainly didn't see
(10:49):
it in I know, I didn't I think I was
too young to see it when it came out, but
I remember watching it with my cousin on VHS probably
some time. I never like two thousands, and I remember
I remember seeing the burgs king toys and not knowing
what they were, but being like, well, aliens and ghost
or for sure real. So I'm gonna want to like,
(11:10):
I wish I could get in the ground floor of this.
Unfortunately I don't have all my teeth. So so you
also are on the pro aliens exist side of things.
I feel stronger about ghosts, but I do believe in aliens. Yes,
I mean we've already talked about the movie Ghost, so yeah,
(11:31):
we that's their ghosts exists. Yeah. What I was gonna
say is that I saw this movie in n when
it came out, Just to keep clarifying, that's the year
that it checking in changes. I was eleven and I
(11:54):
had a nextissential next you're having on them right now
out a body experience. Were about to say, I was
having an existential thank you, that's a girl crisis. Because
(12:19):
at the end of the movie, the galaxy and it
was on a Ryan's belt and then it's like zoom
out and its whole funt and it's big aliens playing
with a marble case full of little galaxies, and I
was like, my life is so insignificant. And I didn't
believe in God after that. So it didn't convince you
(12:41):
aliens existed, but it did rob you of faith. Correct.
I used to think that. Every time I saw marbles,
I was like, oh, I have earth. I'm thought big.
I think that is a very interesting male female profestive. Right,
(13:04):
Like I don't exist, and it says like I should
I do? In the recap, let's do the Men in Black.
We opened on Tommy Lee Jones and his older white
(13:25):
man partner, and then they're not and they're finding aliens
because guess what aliens live among us? But they work
for this entity called what is it? Sex? In section six?
Section six. In the beginning, the border Patrol keeps going,
(13:45):
there is no section six. You're struggling with talking to
I think I think that's what it was. Yeah, right,
they're the men in Black. The older one guy is like,
I'm getting too old for this ship. And then uh
so they need to recruit and train replacement. And meanwhile,
(14:08):
Will Smith is an n y p D police officer.
In plain clothes, like really stylish, like orange baggy windbreaker pants,
like stolen from the Fresh Prince said, people are like
the fifth bad Boy. It was like Diddy May's baby
(14:29):
Will so four. So like if one of them got sick,
you could just sub Yeah, he can understand, I'm to die.
I'm sorry, sorry, that's anyway. So, so Will Smith is
(15:01):
chasing a dude and he's also it's kind of hot. Yeah,
but he's also an alien and his eyes blinked that way. Um,
no guy running away not hot? Oh well, will smim
hot hot. I was gonna get into an argument. I
was like, are you serious? I thought you were talking
about the alien. So they like pinpoint Will Smith is
(15:23):
a potential, like oh maybe he could be a man
in black. And then so then Tommy Leader was like, yeah,
how about him, and they like recruit him in and
then they train him in and he's like, oh wow,
there's there's aliens. Okay, I'll just give up the life
that I had before, which really wasn't much of one.
(15:44):
He had nothing to lose, Yeah, you just had that
orange jumpsuit. So then there's this bug who lands on
planet Earth and he's caused all kinds of mayhem around
New York City? Ever heard of it? And then we
gotta get this bug. And meanwhile there's a galaxy on
a little cat's collar and they're like, well, what what
(16:06):
does Oriyan's belt? That doesn't make any sense. I'm doing
an excellent job in this cat. You're welcome, And so
they have to catch the bugs bugs after this galaxy
isn't it is? Vincent dinafil the book? Yeah, the book
takes Vincent not feel skin and where's it? Okay, okay, okay,
so really quick, Vincent did not feel hot? Yeah, trying
(16:29):
to make sure I was keeping up right. I used
to love making that face, the face that I just
realized it's a podcasting. I was a face the face
(16:52):
I would not have guessed you could have done it. Amazing,
Vincent Dina, you put in the time, wait till we
do moment jacket? Who would you be in full metal jacket?
That character or that? Yeah? I never anyway, So they
(17:16):
get the bug in the end, Wait, there's a there's
a lady at one point, You're right, right, So all
these dead bodies are turning up that are actually alien
dead bodies, and this coroner she's like working at the
(17:39):
Morgen where are these alien dead bodies? And then a
flashy thinger all the time, which is low key gas lighting.
And she's cute, she's hot hot, uh and yeah, so
she's a character at the end, and she's she's also
(18:00):
horny at least pretends to be. It's confused. She points
at her vagina at one point in the movie, and
it's like just kidding. Yeah, we'll talk about that scene.
It's a poorly written joke. It's it's unclear like did
she mean it or did she just point her vagina
by mistake. I find myself doing that all the time
(18:24):
in professional situations, like, I'm so sorry that was in
volunteer being a woman in the work. Yeah, I confirmed,
I was very There's a scene in the beginning when
you first meet her where Tommy Lee Jones and Will
Smith they walk in and she's talking to just Will
(18:47):
Smith and Tommy ly Jones looking at what are the
bodies and she says to Will Smith, she says, you
know what I like to do when it gets really
late here, and then Tommy le Jones cuts in. But
when I was a kid, I hid because I didn't understand,
like Sacks. I thought she just like lit the body
is on fire. I had no idea it was like
(19:09):
a sexual man. I was so confused. I was like,
why aren't they dressing that the rest? Now as an adult,
I'm like, she's saying she fucks the that is she's
saying that. I thought she was saying she does something
unrelated to the bodies. But now since we've opened up that,
(19:33):
what is she doing with those bodies is robbing them?
Oh maybe she's maybe she's harvesting their organs. That's savvy.
That would be a more interesting character than she is
would have been in the market. I don't know. I
(19:54):
thought like, maybe she They can't be saying she sucks
the bodies so weird, there's no way. There's a lot
of sexual innuendos in this movie that don't quite land
like we're just like there's a little uncanny valley, like
what you aren't like, what are they saying? Do they
like each other? Like it's unclear? Is this a romantic plotline?
(20:14):
Is well? What was like? And then she's still under
value and she's not in the sequel either, right, Well,
because they set up at the end because like Tommy
Lee Jones is like, I wasn't training a partner, I
was training a replacement. And then he retires, which is
crazy because it's Will Smith's second day. Crazy. I think
(20:41):
you got it. Yeah, So he retires and then Will
Smith and Dr Weaver the coroner is like, I've been
around aliens enough. One day's worth, that's all. And she
ends up being his partner. But it's set up so
that like, oh, she's going to be in the sequel,
and it can't be called and Black anymore. Psych it's
(21:02):
still two men and she's never heard from again. Yeah,
he flashy. Think my theory is she turned forty and
they're just like wow, because we all know how much
people love casting women over forty. They don't. It does not,
we don't do it. Let's get Tommy Lee Jones body double.
(21:24):
Let's have him Tommy Lee Jones hot in this movie.
I'm sorry, it's true. Is he hotter than Tony Shaloub's
little head? Cannot get any hotter Tony little Yeah, shout out. Oh.
(21:46):
So if we're saying what part in this movie would
Alfred Molina have had, because I'm sure he was offered
a part. He's a town um could he have done
Schaloub's part, or could Chalou's part only have been done
by schlu I wouldn't have recast Tony Shalou. Who could we?
Who could be? You know? He could have been Tommy
(22:06):
Lee Jones. He could have been Tommy Jones. Could have
been Ripped Torn, could have been could have been It
would have been a good set get out. I always
confuse Ripped Horn who someone? I could go either way
on with meat love with someone. I feel very strongly.
Here's what Alfre William might have been doing instead. He
(22:28):
could have been filming Bookie Nights. He could have been
filming Anna Karenina. He's so he's so versatile. He could
have been preparing for his role in Dudley do Right.
The Brendan Fraser one that I think the Brendan Frasier.
Is there another It is bred Fer Brendon Frasier. I
(22:54):
think's gonna murder. I feel great. I do want to
talk more about So there are two female characters and
men in black, and just those two and no other
in New York City. Yeah. In one of them is
(23:14):
Vincent Dinafrio's wife. Her name is Beatrice. Beatrice. I'm just
repeating yeah, Beatrice, and she has very minimal screen time,
(23:34):
as does the other female character, doctor Laurel Weaver. I'd
say between the two of them, they might have an
added total of like twenty minutes of screen time. That
feels generous. Yeah, there's really when they say men in black,
(23:55):
something I wanted to point out about that movies with
like men or boys are like yeah in the title
are always action movies, superhero movies, exciting movies about people
kicking ass. Examples, Men and Black, X Men, Spider Man,
That Boys, No Country for Old Men, all the President's Men,
(24:21):
a few good men, the nice guys. Nice. Yeah, they're
like whoa what fun movies? And then movies with like
women or girl and the title are like dramas and
like Women, Little Women, twenty and Century Women, The Girl,
(24:46):
Mean Girls. Oh yeah, just a really good point that
I'm making, Girl Spice Girls, someone participates. Check out our
Spice World episode of The Girls Girls. Yeah, reason movie. Yeah,
(25:09):
generally they're more about like interpersonal relationships. I'm not saying
that's a bad thing, but I'm just saying like there's
a disparity between the two types of action versus like
a fluffy or it's about women connecting hate it enalien already, right, women.
So that's just something I wanted to share with you all,
(25:33):
and you're welcome. I mean it's tricky because this is okay.
So this is maybe the millionth time on this podcast
that we have come up against a summer blockbuster movie
that is pretty well loved. I still enjoy this movie.
I think it's a fun block hole written wrong. Yeah, Galaxy,
(25:58):
it's fun. A theme song is dope. But they all
these movies have the one female character whose main thing
is you know, even if she is like to the
I guess this movie's credit, which I hesitates, but like,
you know, she's at least has a job and she's
a woman instead, she's a woman insteps. She appears to
(26:22):
know how to do her job until Tommy Lee Jones
keeps gaslighting her. That's upsetting, you mean by erasing her memory, Yeah,
realizing with her thinking out for burger king. But but
she's a character. She's not given a lot of screen time.
But it's the problem we always come up against, which
(26:44):
is like, there's no one for her to talk to you,
There's no other female character, no one for her to
talk to even being a scene with like it's just yeah,
she's surrounded by dead people. She's yeah, they alive people
that's not even alive alive. Well, she apparently works with
(27:08):
David Cross, who was like the receptionist of the YEA,
what are they talking about? I don't know. Yeah, someone's
rule number one of the board. It's gotta be sucking
(27:29):
these bodies, right, it's your first aid. Kid. When we
see like all the recruits, whenever the recruits, because they're like, oh,
these navy guys, these are like these military men. All
the people that they're considering for the new men in
Black job, all men. Not a woman even considered. You
see the scene when we are first introduced to like
(27:51):
the m IB headquarters, which basically still kind of looks
like the goog and I'm we see the Google Him
museum at the beginning, you're like, oh, that's cool, and
then you see m I V or like is it
the same? Is it back room? Anyways? It could be.
There are a few women in that scene, but it's
(28:13):
largely men. They're all the aliens. We see all men,
no lady, except for like you see like a screen
and Will Smith's teacher apart from that are apart from
like people who don't have any lines or just like
only sort of seen in the background. All the aliens
with speaking roles go to men. Big problem in Hollywood.
(28:35):
You know we're our female alien protagonists, right pretty five
queer sexuality, aliens of color? Where are That's like avatar?
Oh yeah, this is why we let the guest pass.
(29:05):
There's I have I have something I'd like to address. Please, okay.
There's another trope in mostly nineties Arrow movies. Something that
terrified me as a child and I still find horrible
is there's a little pug in this movie, a little
pug informant. They make his mouth move like a person,
(29:26):
so that it's like he's a little person. I don't okay,
I find it scary. There's movies words because you know,
like fast forward five years it's c G I this
is some sort of scary practical effect. It looks real.
(29:51):
You think they're like hooked up like wires to the
dog dog Peanut Butter likes why it's all about she
hated freak. I don't like an animals time like they're people.
(30:15):
They're not people. There there's that movie Cats and Dogs.
That one is the worst because it's all just like
Nathan Lamb's voice coming out of a cat and you're
just like, no, like it's just scary. It's not. It
should be a cartoon. Okay. Also, male dog, there we go.
(30:38):
It's yeah again, where are all the female dogs with
speaking roles in Hollywood? That dog is so like it.
It's what about like babe sweary? No scary, that's nice? Scary? Yeah.
The mouth, well, because they're not like really blinking and
(30:59):
you're just like there and their eyes are glazed over
because they're kind of like edited in post production. I
would imagine. I think about it a lot, but there
they're not blinking in their eyes or they kind of
have like do you ever? Okay, here's something I find
scary in real life is when you meet someone they're like,
meet my dog, and you're like that dog has people eyes? Yeah?
Why the dog got the person's eyes and ready to
(31:20):
get them? Yeah, exactly. I think it's like one of
That's why I believe in aliens. I think it's like
an Edgar situation when they take a dog's body and
it's like it's like a vinc and doff Field. There's dog,
there's a little little dog dog dog listening. He's doing
(31:40):
very A few more points I want to make about
Dr Weaver's character. Her dress is insanely short, which is
an okay thing if you're a woman and you want
to wear a short dress, that's cool. But today pretty
much does a little appropriate no out a word place,
(32:03):
so she's like overly sexualized for no reason. They developed
her character so poorly that she doesn't even get to
have a reaction whenever the dude's face opens up and
there's like a little tiny alien it is, and she's
just like like how is she not? Like what the
actual fun? She has no reaction to it, and then
(32:27):
like until like maybe thirty seconds later, and she's like
I knew it. That is an alien, isn't it. And
it's like yeah, no, where can she like what's happening?
She's yeah, I mean And And that's another like female
blockbuster character thing is like her character changes from moment
to moment depending on what the scene required, like that shitty,
(32:51):
weird confusing there's a scene I forget what the executive
shechine is, but she's talking to Will Smith and she's
points to her vagina and he's like well, what do
you mean? And she's like no, I was pointing at
the floor, like and that serves no purpose in the
context of her character. It doesn't make any fucking sense.
It's just a bad joke that like the who wrote this,
Oh I bet it's uh so Ed Solomon's jerking off
(33:15):
at his house, Like I make a pretty late point.
It's just like a gross throwaway thing that it's like, oh,
here's something I could do with the female character. I
forgot to write right well, that scene before that one,
the bug comes in and like throws her all around
(33:38):
like pretty violently. It's like a pretty alarming to see,
like she's a bunch of violences inflected upon her. And
then he capt or. He's like still kind of fighting
fighting her. And then will Smith comes in and he's like, well,
I better hide under this cart and like holds her
ankle and she's like you need to help me with this,
and Will Smith's like, damn, girl, I kind of drive
(34:00):
though it's not a male female. I just gotta drive.
That's happen like dead on. I was like, is he here? Yeah?
Oh my god. After that we see whenever, like Will
Smith is like, oh, I get what's happening, And he's
(34:21):
like if you had been coming on to me like
a drunken trom day And she's like whenever a woman
shows any sign of sexual independence or something like that,
which is like one of those lines that we talked
about where it's like the writer just be like, oh,
here's one example, yeah, like of a like women empowerment,
which is not actually what is happening. No, because in
(34:42):
the next scene they're like, oh, she's in trouble. Someone
saved her. Like there, it's just yeah, she just captured
and thrown in a tree. That's a wish. There's a
big battle and she's up in the tree. Yeah, nothing
like like again it seems like, oh no, we forgot
(35:02):
she's in the scene. Um So then they give her
the last shot as like a thing, but it's like,
I don't know, it just feels so forced totally. Yeah,
so that because her character has been developed not at
all prior to that, she know how to do with
the like shoot the gun. I don't know. I thought
(35:29):
the Space it had a nail the Space Space gun, right,
Because so that climactic scene plays out where the bug
he's ripped out of his vincent Dinofrio skin and now
he's a big cockroach dude and he's trying to get
(35:50):
up to the spaceship Tommy ly Jones, He's like, eat me,
and then he eats him. Funny, So the cody in
this movie, you guys giggled, So Tommily Jones was like
swimming around in the cockroach monster alien for like five minutes,
(36:11):
not drowning somehow. Will Smith is all like, I'm gonna
stomp on your relatives. Finally Tommily Jones burst out with
his space gun. There's a moment where passing notes answer
the cricket the noisy crick is a little one that
Will Smith has, and then the big one was called
(36:36):
I'll get back to you anyway. So the movie, because
like that one last moment was like, oh no, the
aliens not dead and he goes to pounce on him,
and then dr weavers like no, not today, and uh
(36:59):
and she the alien dead again and then she said
something like interesting job you guys have. And then we're
all supposed to be like you go girl, except no,
because her character fucking sexs. Like nineties movies are riddled
with you go girl moments like this, and I feel
like the only reason they're in there is that like
there's some studio meeting where they're like, wait, but how
(37:22):
are we going to sell shipped to girls about this movie?
And they're like, let the let the lady kick one time.
And I first said, look, I can kick too, and
then and then we'll put a flower on a T shirt,
will throw a lady's face on it five million dollars.
And obviously it would have been fine for her to
(37:43):
like kick get In fact, I would have preferred her
to do more gass kicking throughout the movie. So yeah,
she's just only given that one moment. It's all utilitary,
like it's just I mean, no, the time was spent
developing her character whatsoever, which is crazy because they set
it up that she's gonna be the next man. And
in Black you Wuldsmith dressed up like Morpheus. Oh yeah,
(38:05):
he's got new sunglasses and they're I guess cooler than
he's got the Morpheus look. And so the last thing
of this movie is really funny because he's like, Okay,
it's Will Smith's second day. He's in charge now, and
then there's he walks toris dr we were and it's
her first day as a man in black and she's
(38:27):
wearing the suit and she looks dope, and as Willspenth's
walking over to her, she like says loudly a government secret.
And it's like it's like an alien and it's like, oh,
they're both bad at this. I don't know do they
(38:50):
say in the second one why they got rid of her.
I'm trying trying to figure because the second one, if
you don't know, two thousand two and Tommy Lee Jones
is just in it again. What was what was it
called Men and Black to That was my first guest,
(39:10):
but I don't want to sell him an idiot. But
the polster the poster is and then two Roman numeral
eyes black, so it looks like men Too Black. We're
just the name of my boys to men cover back. Oh.
(39:36):
Nick Cannon is in Men and Black Too. Oh yeah, yeah,
he's like one of the young guns. I don't even know.
This is like a drum line era Nick Can. Yeah,
not like scary wizard Nick Kid Nick Cannon today, it's
very scary. Black Too also has Michael Jackson. Really, I
(40:00):
don't know if I've ever seen Men Too Blacks. He
wants to be an agent, and he just keeps Michael
Jackson as a Martha Stewart as herself an alien. I
know she's as herself as an alien. I think, yeah,
(40:22):
she is an alien. She it. I love this movie.
It was like my favorite movie for like two years.
It's between a discourse moment. Okay, this is the sort
of movie where people like it. It's a good movie.
(40:45):
People don't necessarily think about oh, you know, it takes
a second before you're like, oh, there are no women
in this movie. That is strange. We're in a major
metropolitan area and there's no women. Right. There's like we
could like, like I said, we could have seen any
of the recruits could have been like I don't know
half of them could have been women. There are women
(41:07):
in the military. Uh fucking hate massagey. Thanks. Yeah, in
Alien women there have been. They only have the pregnant one.
Oh okay, any visual gag. That's that's the only alien
(41:35):
woman you've seen it, right, That's another the same moment
where Tommy Lee Jones goes up to the car and
then he's like, what's going on here? He's like, my
wife's having a baby. And then and then Tommy Lee
Jones looks in the bag. It's like, oh, yeah, there's
a woman giving birth, Like there's yeah, what interesting? I
think you know that's a bold that's a bold visual gag. Yeah,
(41:59):
she screaming. Yeah, I did not see that she's giving
birth to a fucking squid, Like squid things are coming out,
But how do you not notice? It's essentially tentacal porn.
I mean, I have conflicting feelings about that scene because
(42:21):
on one hand, it's like a women's issue is made
out to be a joke, okay, but also childbirth is terrifying,
So I'm like, yeah, I get it. I'd love to
get birth through a squirre someday. Let's just move on
right from that, and I'm not talking about any further.
(42:44):
It's so weird how like all the men in black
are because they have the suit, they automatically know how
to do everything. Like it's always like always like okay, hey,
just walk in there and tell him you're a doctor
because they're gonna believe you because you're a man in
a suit. And then yeah, they don't show any badgers.
They just walk right in and it's just like, yeah,
(43:05):
I fucking hate man. Yeah, they just walk in there like, hey,
I'm good at something. They're just going to tell people
I'm like what I was like pointing my vagina on accident,
and then if you dare question them or don't believe them,
(43:27):
they have a gas lighting stick to be like, I'm
kind of things I gi Oh. Yeah, this is a
triumph for for for young boys trying to learn how
to Kivin's Women of Less. Yeah. Don't want to talk
at all about the other female character, Beatrice. Yeah, I mean,
(43:51):
what's there to say. In the first scene, you don't
even see her. You just hear her getting yelled at. Ye.
He's like verbally abusing her, and then he comes in
he's like sugar, sugar, and she's just like, okay, I'm
a domestic person. That's all I could do. Then she
(44:11):
gives us chapel and sugar water okay, and she just
like when he's like, Sugar, you're not the only one
who can do them. I wasn't. I didn't get this
email and we were supposed to arrive with it. Yeah,
(44:39):
I mean she's like done as rocks and major idiot alert. Yeah.
Written by Ed Solomon. To be clear, every time we
criticize if female character were actually thinking about throwing Ed Solomon? Whoever?
That that is off the building right. He co wrote
the first Charlie's Angels I Think, and he might really good.
(45:02):
He wrote Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, Bill and Ted's
Focus Journey, The Men of Black Movies, The Charlie's Angels movies,
and some X Men movies, Super Mario Good. He started
(45:23):
as a staff writer for loa Vernon Surely, which honestly, like,
there's no excuse, like you you have written for female
characters before. You just are actively like does the world
really need welcome? I would expect better from the person
who wrote the best Lucy lou movie ever. Why is
(45:44):
it Carlos Charlie's Angels. Why can't I just be like
three kick ass ladies who don't belong to anyone, like
a pretty lunchbox. Yeah, I think that's a fine. I don't. Unsurprisingly,
most of the people involved in the production of this
(46:05):
movie are men. There is a female producer on the movie,
but it's directed by Barry son Enfeld, who directed Get Shorty,
various Adams Family movies, Big Trouble, Big Big Trouble with
Tim Allen. It was it was a movie about a
bomb on an airplane. It was supposed to come out
(46:27):
and so at least they was supposed to be September twelve,
two thousand eleven back and he got looked back two yes,
the year you know you know it was that yes, yeah,
(46:51):
not good. Yeah. He directed that one and the Rob
Williams Vehicle RV SO another another movie that is feminist.
Icon are signed. Can I say know that Danny Elfman
score to this movie is like my favorite score of
not all time, but of a movie about do so
(47:17):
good Daniel Dannie Elfman will be spared. Yeah, yeah, well
he'll be spared because we need to get new things
time we This movie made a million billion dollars. Yeah,
the summer blockbuster that did really well was made by men.
There's only men in it. One ladies in it. But
she has to pointed her vagina and has to skirt
(47:39):
and also was bad at being a man in black.
Yeah you can tell at the end or you're like, oh, yeah,
she's unqualified like she as is Will Smith. He had
one day on the job. Does anyone have any other
final points about the movie. It's great film, some issues,
(48:11):
got some issues. I'm sure the best out of the three.
The Men in we were talking about the seg one side.
I forgot we didn't mention that that there was a
third right when that's the one I think time travel happens. Yeah,
that's still rolling. Yeah, they go like I think they
(48:33):
go to like the six season. They go back and
then it's like back for something like that. It's like
a it's a time jump. Was that one straight to
video or did know that? At a theatrical twelve? Yeah,
it was like if you put the Terminator plotline with
Men in Black, because which should be a winner? That's
(48:54):
it was sad. Did you see it? No? Oh god,
it's so sad. Did you see it? Did you cry?
It's so sad at he it's fucking sad. Man I cried. Sorry.
It's like as sad as the first twenty minutes of Up, Like,
it's that sad. Like it's that sad. That's that's sad.
(49:22):
You have to The ending is just like Jones, you
don't care does Tommy ly Jones die? Know what happens
is you find out that Will Smith's father sacrifice his
life to save Tommy Lee Jones, and Tommy Lee Jones
has been like secretly watching Will Smith this whole time,
and then you see at the end you see Will
(49:43):
Smith as a child hunched over his dead father's body.
And then yeah, because this is in the sixties and
so and so, he he fucking neuralizes Will Smith as
a kid. And it's just like Duke it's and it
is an absolute boner killer. It is the saddest fucking
(50:08):
thing I know, right, Mrs sad Jack But what the jackhammer?
Has that done? The jackman? Oh good, I get it.
It had like a sciency name because because the joke
was John Lee, Joe says a sciency name and then
he goes, no, he's a cricket, and that's like the joke.
(50:40):
Hand I think Sam's my new daddy was in the cast. Yeah,
we've never got a new daddy's. No, because we have
(51:03):
a lot of audience. Should we open it up to
any questions or yeah, what do you want? Oh okay,
I'll start here, Oh yeah kind of, I'm sure. Hi, friends, Hilma,
I was wondering if you were to recast the lead
roles with women, how would you recast? Are we going
today or were doing in nineties steven nineties? Um? I
(51:32):
don't know what do you guys, I'm gonna go with
today's people. I would do like Zendia as Will Smith's character.
Um anything, Harry Jones, I want our return, that's good. Yeah,
I want Laura turned to uh neuralize the tiny Zendia
(51:54):
when her mommy. I would love Julianne Moore and Ali Wong.
I think that would be a fun. It was like
Ripped Horns character. I feel like we need, we need.
(52:23):
I'll really qualifies for an all female read. He transsgender.
He's so talented. Swinton would be great as Vincent Dinofrios characters. Yeah,
I would love that. Let's just do that. Start to
go find me. The work was Super Troopers to did it?
(52:47):
Did any other have some more questions? Yeah? Alright, I'm
Kyle off of the tilta Swinton point. Apparently they almost
cast her as Penny Wise and the most recent it
would have been way better casting anyway. Point I was
going to make was have any of you seen under
the Skin because Scar Joe is a great female alien protagonist.
(53:07):
I haven't seen it. I want to declare as a
woman I have it. Yeah, so sorry, but we will
anyry question, um so Lara from Boyle was jackr. Rab's character,
(53:28):
and I was just wondering if she's still alive. I
wasn't trying to be stupid. Wait, I got her. I mean, yeah,
that was a while ago. She because it was she
was Sarlena in the second when she was the bad
(53:49):
she was the battie. It was her, and she had
Knoxville Johnny knoxfilld was her like number two. You know.
I was reading Chris o'donald, who's Robin and the Schumacher Batman.
(54:12):
I love Tigerland, I love the Albert thousand before I
didn't see that one. That one I didn't see is
Spiler sold I read on IMDb that Chris o'donald was
almost Will Smith's character. It was. It was Crystal Donald,
David Schwimmer, and Will Smith. And I think if one
(54:35):
of those two guys had got it, him and Linda
Florentino would have kissed at the end of the movie.
And I think because it was I think that big
of a budget of a movie, they weren't going to
have an interracial kiss. Oh interesting for ninety I mean
that that checks out on that my mom, right, it
(54:57):
should have been okay and they didn't think it would
go I love intertional relationships to literally just keep telling
(55:18):
Sam she's singles. I know, we don't need to go
over your relationships as literally in the fetal my fine
end of a movie, like in Going with the Wind,
(55:40):
they didn't know if they were going to go. Frankly,
what are I talkingational? I didn't know will work? Who
knows any other questions? Yeah, it's going on. I just
wanted to come up. Get that. Caitlin has a master's
(56:03):
degree for Thank you the help countries. Do you know
that I hate to bring it up? Want to bring
it up? I do? And we are at Boston. Yeah,
so uh any be you o kids down here? Oh yeah, yeah,
(56:24):
so shout out to my bu heads you yeah, be
you calmuck? Yeah our sponsored Hey, let's talk about whether
or not this movie passes the BACKTI test. No, well,
(56:52):
nothing to ask. There aren't even like two women in
the same room at any point. Sometimes we have like
near like we're oh, kire and I y talked to
a lady. We think she had a name. Did she
say something? Oh? I guess. Priates of the Caribbean is
a bad movie, this one. There's not even the potential,
(57:13):
there's no discussion to be had. It doesn't pass. But
let's rate the movie on our nipples scale. We rate
every movie on our nipple scale five nipples total. You
can attribute the nipples to whoever you want, but the
nipples are on the merit of how well the movie
(57:34):
treats women, on how much you like the movie. Right,
So I'm gonna give the movie like a half nipple
because the portrayal of women is laughable. They get almost
no screen time. There's two female characters as opposed to
dozens of men speaking roles in the movie, and they're
so human alien all different types of men. Yeah, and
(57:58):
the spectrum of men is represented the very few women,
and the ones that we do see are so poorly
developed that it's frankly embarrassing. So it rates very poorly
on our nipple scale. And the half nipple that I'm
giving it does belong to Oriyan the cat. Don't forget
that cats do have eight nipples. This has been cat
(58:20):
facts with Caitlin. I have nipples, Greg, can you malke me? Parents? Yeah?
I know, speaking of amazing segment. I also give this
movie half a nipple just because I want to give
(58:42):
the nipple to something. It seems like a fun thing
to do in a web show. Otherwise I would give
it no nipples. It's stupid. They take the ore one
female character, then they have her say girl power, and
then they throw her in a tree. They just are
battering her around like a ping punk ball. They're like,
she has a job, but she has to look like
a like it just if it's stupid, bad, not for
(59:05):
for women, but a fun movie and worth your time.
I'll give half my half nipple to pregnant backsy Tentacles too,
but I don't have to Sam. I owe the movie
(59:25):
I half Noble despite it being a wonderful, league done
sci fi comedy action buddy movie, and it's an enjoyable
for kids and an old people alike. I would say
ultimately it's portrayal woman was a paper thin and that's
(59:46):
being generous. And I just expect more fun movies that
I think that should be acceptable to everybody, should also
represent the world that we live in. Sounds you're joking,
(01:00:07):
I genuinely, I genuinely mean that. So I give you
have a half apple, and I give it to Linda
Florentino for you know, just doing the best that she could,
you know, with with being given because I actual yeah,
because I have to actually had to do Dogma that's
seems like a long shoe directed by feminist icon Kevin's face.
(01:00:32):
Oh yeah you and then she turned forty and was,
you know, sent away. But I want to point out
that in Dogma, Alan Rickman doesn't have a dick, and
any time that you see a man with no dick,
it's a good day for me. Have you do you?
(01:00:57):
This is not gonna be a fun way for us
to in the podcast. We should send it there. Have
you seen the movie with Patrick Wilson and Ellen Page
where she says to stay oh yeah hard Candy and
Patrick Wilson shines. It's like she's really and she's like
Ellen Page is like four years old and she's just like,
(01:01:17):
that's not your dig. It's the greatest movie of all time.
Highly recommend watching Patrick Wilson get castrated over and over.
I watched it with my dad. Underrated performance by Sandra
Oh in that film as well, she's she's great sideways,
Yeah she's I realized said that same about her and
(01:01:44):
Hard Kid. I was like, oh, I don't have enough.
The statement conclusion Sam, thank you. Yeah it wasn't Lara
flym boyl I'm sorry that is quite already that though.
(01:02:11):
Thank you so much for being here every where. Can
people find you online and follow you? Oh? You follow
you on Twitter at h at the Sam like th Sam,
like Twitter handle great. You can follow us at Bactel
(01:02:37):
Cast on Twitter and Instagram, and you can go to
our website backtel cast dot com. It's soon gonna say
I don't like man, come on. Yes. Oh, thank you
so much into improv Boston and Boston Post being on
(01:03:01):
UM and thanks for coming out and uh see you
some other time. Yeah, see you later