The Princess Diaries with Marcia Belsky

Jamie and Caitlin invite special guest Marcia Belsky on the show to tell her that she's actually the Princess of Genovia.

(This episode contains spoilers)

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
On the Beck Doll Cast, the questions asked if movies
have women in um? Are all their discussions just boyfriends
and husbands? Do they have individualism? The patriarchy? Z f
invest start changing it with the Beck del Cast. Hi, everyone,
Caitlin here. You are about to hear a live episode
that we recorded in New York. But we just wanted

(00:22):
to do a few quick plugs at the top of
the show. First of all, if you're listening to this
in early January, Happy New Year. If you're listening to
this in like, I don't know, seven, then there's probably
a terminator who's trying to kill you right now, and
I'm sorry. Also, where's our episode on terminator or terminator too?

(00:45):
Because Sarah Connor feminist icon. Anyway, don't forget that we
have a live show coming up in l A on
January twelve at nine pm at the Ruby. We are
covering romy and Michelle's high school reunion with past guests
of the show Danielle Perez. So grab your tickets to
that on bachtelcast dot com and click on the live

(01:06):
appearances tab um. Also, at the time of this recording,
we still have a few tickets left to our San
Francisco show on January and our Portland's show on January,
and those tickets are also at bachtelcast dot com. But
they are going fast, so grab yours as soon as possible.
I another reminder that I personally am running a couple

(01:30):
of intro to screenwriting workshops, one in Portland, Oregon, on
January and one in Seattle on January. So if you
want to be like me, someone who does have a
master's degree in screenwriting from Boston University, but I hate
to bring it up, and you want to learn a
bunch about screenwriting, then register for my workshop, which you

(01:54):
can do if you go to Caitlin Dronte dot com
and click on the show's tab. Oh okay, that should
do it for now, so enjoy the show cast. Hi everyone, Hi,
Welcome to the Bechtel Cast. Yeah, there's so many feet.
This is exciting. We're in New York City. I ever

(02:15):
heard of it? Oh my god, very overwhelming. I was
wondering who was going to say the name of the
city first, because I felt insecure being like, Hi, New York,
I don't know. I used to live here, brag, so
it feels like home. Wow, I lived in Boston for
nine years and then I yeah, all right, well, welcome

(02:39):
to the Bechtel Cast. Thanks for being here, Yeah, for ourselves,
so many vertical people. My name is Jamie Loftus, my
name is Caitlin Drante. And we talked about the portrayal
of women in movies and how it's generally pretty bad.
This is our last date in our East Coast tour. Yes,

(03:00):
and we're here with the New York Comedy Festival. So
shouts out to them, thanks for having us. Yeah, give
it up for the New York Comedy Festival. Uh so,
just a quick clap it if you listen to the
Bechtel Cast before and like, no judgment, but clap if

(03:21):
you haven't, Hey, honestly brave. Thanks for coming with your friends. Brave. Yeah,
imagine not listening to a podcast. Unbelievable. No, that's fine.
So we will uh sort of break down how how
we run the show before we start. So we are
a podcast about how women are portrayed in famous movies,

(03:45):
and we use the Bechdel Test as a jumping off
point for that discussion. So Bechdel test is a test
invented by illustrator, writer, general amazing person Alison Bechdel and
Kay and break it down for us. It requires that
a movie, let's say, has two female at least two

(04:06):
female identifying characters. They must speak to each other for
at least two lines of dialogue, very low bar, and
their conversation cannot be about men. But guess what. Most
movies don't pass. But today's movie. You're not supposed to
tell that. Now there, I didn't say anything, but today's
it's not. This movie remains to be seen. But I

(04:31):
don't know. I have a good feeling about it, do you. Okay,
let's test it out because I do. Oh no, wait,
this isn't going to pass the vital test. Let's just
have dialogue for a moment. Okay? There Sometimes when it's
usually a man not to put anyone in a box.
But if someone asked me about the podcast and it's
like a guy, he's like, so, yeah, it's what it's
like a show and you you talk about whether the

(04:52):
pass is the Betel test or not. I was like,
that would be a very short show. They would just
be a word yes or no yes uh. And they're
like so yeah, that's uh, that's pretty cool. What are
you doing? Yeah, listening to Tenna. Yeah, it's just so
you guys talk about for like what three hours about
if it passes the Pecktel tests or not pretty cool. Yeah,

(05:13):
it's a little bit of that, but it's a lot more,
you know, you guys know, Yeah, if you've heard of
the Becktel says, you know, it's a flawed metric. What
was the one? Oh we did miss congeniality? And there's
something that passes the Backtel test, which is literally Candice
Bergen threatening to murder Sandra Bullock. But it passes because

(05:35):
woman on woman murder. It passes the Bechtel test and
we're okay with it. But that's not the movie we're
talking about today. No, I'm so excited for the movie
we're talking about today. It's a modern classic, call a
little movie called The Princess Diary. Yeah, a minority here,

(06:01):
I see how it is. Anyone else thinks it's kind
of stupid. No, just don't make no noise. Stay very cool,
but do clip if you haven't seen that movie before, yikes,
a trap door just opened the fo Okay, so it is.

(06:24):
I mean, it's a good job everyone. It's a classic.
We all should have been seeing it, you know at
least once a year for the past twenty years. Um,
but yeah, I'm so excited. We're doing the Princess Diaries
and we have an incredible guess. Yes, she is the
creator of Headless Women of Hollywood. She is a co
host of the Miss Andry podcast, and she is the

(06:44):
creator and star of the Handmaids Tale musical. Please welcome,
Marcia Belski. Shut you're the way from the movie. I
was going to try and do that coming. Thank you
for being here. Famously with the drink in her hand.

(07:07):
Why doesn't Julians get drunk in this movie? She is,
It's implied. She's talking the driver, she's getting drunk, she's
having fatter. Okay, that is one of the things I
noticed in this movie more so than ever. She's sucking
the driver. Oh yeah, and they're not just fucking like

(07:31):
they're fucking like because because he's the driver, but like
he feels like comfortable enough to go up to her like,
excuse me, madame, you're a bad grandmother. It's like he
goes yeah, it's like the implication, he's like, I just
purchased a new chair for fucking and would you like

(07:51):
to give it a spin? Then Julie Andrews is like,
this is what older women in Hollywood. Although I love
that guy, the guy who plays Joe Hector. Yes, yes,
Alfred Molina could have played that part. So Marcia, what's

(08:13):
your history that your relationship with the Princess Diaries. Thank
you so much for asking that my really honestly, because
we were talking about it before a little bit, because
you didn't watch it, like when it came out, because
I think that's the classics. I'm sure if I watched
it now for the first time, I would be like
and even rewatching and I was like, oh my god,

(08:33):
you know, but I remember so distinctly when it came
out and I was like twelve or something like that,
not to age myself, but I am thirteen, and um
now like rewatching, it's like I'm just immediately transported back
to like hanging with my friend Molly, like you know,
just like im alone, and then watched The Princess Sarius,

(08:58):
which is not what you're supposed to do. But I
learned a lot and I grew. Yeah, I just remember
because it was like, she has hair like me, and
it was the first time I had seen someone with
hair like me. And then we soon find out it's
what's keeping her from being a lady. So then they
strained her hair and plug her eyebrows, and I was like,

(09:20):
is that how I would look? And then I was like, no,
I'm still fat. So I was okay, come on, I was.
I was a fat kid, and I think that that's
why I'm like interesting as a person. So if you
were a skinny kid who's still skinny, you're not relatable. Um,
if you've been hot your whole life, then you're just
you're probably not here on it. So you're probably not here,

(09:41):
you're not watching movies, you're listener base. Yeah, out on
a boat somewhere. And I hope it's not offensive, but
I would wager to say that lifelong hotties are not
spectel cast target. There's you're going to get an email
from like Giselle and she's like, I actually love your podcast. Wow.

(10:02):
Please anyone who's always been devastatingly hot hit us. Let
us know, does it pass the Bechtel if the two
women are extremely hot, because then there's zero movies there's well,
because this movie does pass the Bechdel. Oh wait, we
haven't gotten there yet, I guess. But this movie possibly

(10:24):
passes the Bechtel, but I was thinking, I was like,
in the two women scenes, there's a lot of talk
of like country and duty, which is like not like
a man, but there's also just mostly talk about the
dead dad. Then the rest of it is just like
women critiquing other women's look. So does that pass the
back door because technically you're not talking about men, but
like half the movie is just them being like all right,

(10:46):
spin No, there's like three different characters who make a
wretching noise and looking at Anne. Half of it, Oh
my god, like true, yeah, and the only like gay
representation is like the hair salon and then he turns
out to be evil, Like it's true a Disney queer

(11:11):
codd villain. Yea classic he should have like Merche he
should be like canonically a Disney villain. Yeah, my god,
I just realized such a good Halloween costume that I
missed as I should have been the where they take
away the two photos of her with curly hair. A

(11:34):
past guest of the show was the before Rebecca Bullness. Yes,
so smart. I mean I just lived my life as
the before picture. So Jamie, what's your history with the movie.
I love it. I I saw it when it came
out with all my cousins and my mom. Before I

(11:57):
saw it, I had only seen the poster had hot
Anne Hathaways on the poster and there was a boy
at school because I was like eight or nine when
it came out and there was a boy's school. Was like, Jamie,
I saw someone in a movie who looks just like you.
I was like, and he's I guess the Princess Diaries.
I was like, oh my god, because I didn't know
about the makeover. And he was like, yeah, at the

(12:18):
beginning of the movie, she looks just like you. I
was like, oh my god, have to see it. And
James McAboy, I'll just call him out. There's James McAvoy there,
socialized like bully girls on their looks so young. Yeah,
he meant I looked like the before, which, to be fair,
I did. What did he look like? I remember, like

(12:38):
a dude? It was like not cute, being like yeah,
Hillary Duff like no, thank you, And I was like,
what are you talking about? What are you even saying?
James McAvoy what had flesh colored hair like he was?
James shouldn't have been telling me It's so funny because
you're gonna, like a minute after this episode Jobs, You're

(13:00):
going to get a Facebook message from James back boy.
That's going to be like, I'm really sorry if I
heard you back then. My favorite kind of face as hey, like,
apparently I traumatize you. So sorry, I'm super sorry. Please
do not say anything about me publicly probably ever again
that I'm married. I have nineteen daughters. Their hair is

(13:24):
the color of their flesh. Six six sick Caitlyn, what's
your history with this movie? You love it so much? Well,
I didn't see it for the first time until I
think like two years ago. So when you see this
movie for the first time when you are thirty years old,
I feel like it doesn't have a lot of the

(13:46):
charm that people think that it has really connectedly told
your story? Right? Did the soundtrack still hit for you?
In my notes that says worst soundtrack of any movie? Wrong? Yeah,
I think the movie is kind of dumb. I realized
that no one agrees with me. I guess you all

(14:09):
saw in two thousand one Bragg for you, But I
have no emotional attachment to this movie. And the soundtrack
is bad. There is a song where it's just like
running away with my emotions or something like stupid. How
are you supposed to know how to feel? How are
you SUPs to know how to feel unless they tell
you how to feel through a music. I know that

(14:32):
song plays with like a slow shot on Michael and
all of his various levels of hair. Yeah, it's very
like some forty one San Francisco, like like an elevator
like levels one too. Oh my god, his hair. I
was so obsessed that boy. And also I have a theory.
So with the love interest Michael, can we talk about
a little bit. First of all, the brother and sisters

(14:54):
names are Michael and Lillian Moscow would so we do
have Jewish representation. Um, I'm Jewish and case and got
tight there, Um, just chill out. But um so I
was like so obsessed with the brother character. And then
I realized because someone I forget who, and I'm so sorry.
But somebody said about bringing on the movie as well,

(15:17):
that there's a bunch of movies that came out around
this time where like basically she should really just be
a lesbian with her friend Lillian. They can't allow that
to mainstream Hollywood, so they write this whole brother character
that like looks like her, hangs around all the time
and it's like acceptable to hook up with basically, but
the whole movie is like Lillian and her should just

(15:40):
like end up together, but instead she's like, I love
your brother, like you know, and then the brothers like
obsessed with her too. He's like conveniently like they always
have a brother that's the same age and looks like
them to like fill in for like what should they do?
And then they really cheat Lily by making her hook
up with the magician. I mean, they really over I

(16:03):
mean I'm like, are you serious. She's the best character
in the movie. It's just like, you know, she's fifteen,
she's gonna get favored. She is like she's that girl,
like she is like annoyingly like anti because right when
she gets her princess makeover, she's like, you have a
fucking Gucci bag. You're fucking yuppie scum. I hate you.
And she's like and she's like the super like anti capitalist,

(16:25):
like in an annoying way, but also like she's not wrong.
You know. Time you're all going to a private school, though,
I'm like, I feel like you're set for life. She's
the rich like person who's just like I'm okay and
okay in the UK, you're like you are a billionaire.
Speaking of them going to a private school though, so

(16:45):
it's like a teen girl who goes to a private
school that her rich grandma pays for and whose mom
wants to date her teacher. What is this season one
of Gilmore Girl? When you should we keep going? We should?
We should do the recap of the movie. Okay, here

(17:08):
we go. So we meet Mia Thermaplis. She kind of
like a Greek French fusion food. So she lives with
her mom and her cat, Fat Louis. Fat Louie does

(17:33):
have eight nipples. Okay, we've got some nipples. Stairs has
been fat Cat facts with Caitlin. Okay. So they're in
the Bay Area. She's got her best friend Lily. She
lives in a refurbished fire that place, which is like, yeah,

(17:54):
her mom's an artist. It has as many stories as Michael's.
I remember so much, Like remember she has that fire pole.
She slides down there in this huge loft and her
mom's like an artist, and like I remember so much.
Just's being like, mom, why aren't you divorced? Like can't
we just like be single and you be unhappy and
like I have a cooler life. You know. Okay, we

(18:17):
live in Oklahoma. You're a lawyer, but can you just
divorce dad? And we moved to San Francisco? Thank you?
So Nia, she's awkward, she's got bushy hair, she's got
she's got a middle part part. She's bad at public speaking.

(18:38):
The whole she almost throws up. It's like disgusting. And
in front of Brink. They're in front of Brink. Dude,
that guy from Frank I forgot he had like a
real name. How is that not the same man? That's crazy.
That's a different guy. We'll tell you a dacons. Also

(19:00):
he's from brink. Brink. If there's anyone here like industry
or whatever, like you're welcome for free, for free. I
know everyone here is industries. So yeah, so me, that's
whole thing is that she's invisible basically, and she's fine
with that, except that Michael does have a crush on her.

(19:22):
He's like the male Zoe Desanelle of this movie because
like because she's the star. So then he's like the quirky,
like you know, manic pixie whatever. And he's like on
my piano. The boy who plays Michael Moscovitz is in
Phantom Planet to the band Rooney, Oh my god, someone
con scarting me and they're always wait, this is a

(19:45):
big era for like this like actor like pop band
crossover because you also have Mandy Moore in the movie.
But like there's two parts in the movie where there's
no reason singing should be happening besides the fact that
they're like, Mandy Moore should six. If we have Mandy,
she should cubic. Yeah, she's like every movie, you must

(20:06):
write two original songs for me to sing in the soundtrack. Okay.
So then MIA's grandmother, who lives in Genovia shows up
and me and it was like, hey, who are you again?
Her grandma's like dad was the prince of Genovia, which

(20:26):
makes you the princess of Genovia. I mean, I was like, bye,
she's not happy that she works at a rock climbing gym,
which I found fascinating. I remember being like, what are those?
There's like so many things that you think will be
subplots or actual subplots that go nowhere. Many things are

(20:50):
dropped in this Yeah, we go, we see me and
has a job for four seconds. It was never relevant. Again,
there's a whole gym class subplot for no reason. Oh
my god. Yeah, there's really aggressive Jim teacher who's like,
now you passed whatever, And then we're like, oh, she's gross.
She is growing as a person because she hit that
guy in the nuts with a baseball. That's neither here

(21:12):
nor that she does. She does the most cripple brain
I love that hit him in the Dickland cares so.
Then so she's mad at her mom and her grandma
for not telling her who she was. But here's the thing.
The country of Genovia will cease to exist if she
does not accept her role as princess. Yes that they

(21:36):
say it's so because I paused at that point, because
I then I stared at the screen for like five seconds.
Because the way that it's delivered is Julie Andrews is
talking to the mom character and she's like, and the
drama is like, if she doesn't do this, Genovia ceases
to exist, and the mom's like, your country ceases to
exist if my fifteen year old doesn't become a princess,

(21:58):
and Julianne just like, yeah, pretty much, yeah, so like
no pressure anything because like my love is unconditional, but
like it's a pretty big deal and where is the
clause and I don't know any royal line that where
that works. Where just all of a sudden, they're like,
I feel like they would just have to like have

(22:20):
an election, which would probably better Prime minister colonialism, yes,
Prime minister, and the prime Minister sucks the teet of
the regal power. Yeah, they know there's a lot of
colonial is. Like obviously, whenever the fifties referendum happened in Europe,
Genovia was like, we're good. I don't even know the

(22:42):
like they're part of it. Way before Yeah, I don't
even think they're part of the EU, Like I don't
know what's going on with Genovia, but they're in isolation
as nation. Um Okay. So then there's an annual Independence
Day ball it's coming up, and that's when Mia has
to decide whether or not she's going to be the
Princess of Genovia. And until like every teen movie needs
to end in a prom a formal that's like summer camp, bab,

(23:07):
it's got to end in a banquet, And until then
she's going to do princess lessons basically, but her potentially
being a princess has to be kept a secret until then.
So then me and meets Joe, Joe takes Mia and
Lily to school, and then like Michael's doing the whole
car repair things, she keeps referring to a Mustang as

(23:28):
her baby and it's creepy, meet my baby. And then
there's this guy, Josh who she has a crush on,
but he's dating Lana. They both suck. This is actually
the prequel to Saved. It's what people don't know. Yeah,
because I remember I saw Saves and I was like, oh,
says Princess Harris Um. So she's making progress on her

(23:50):
princess lesson. She's like, oh, this is how you sit
after all. Okay, okay, a lot of great Anne Hathaway
prat falls and this let's not Yeah, okay, she's like
a princess crosses your ankles. Underneath that, She's like, actually
cross like I'm a princess and I can sit and

(24:13):
struggles and we're there with her. Oh it's great. We
get the makeover which will unpack, no time for it now,
and the dad from Ten Things I Hate About you yes, Halo,
putinesscas the characters, the range on that man, it can

(24:34):
be a bad daddy or a main star of man.
So then like, meanwhile, she's like neglecting her friendship with Lily.
So then Lily's all like, why are you such a
bad friend? And then she's like, it's because I'm a princess,
but don't tell anyone, and she's like, Okay, you're that's great.
Lily was so mean to her before that though, in
the scene because it's like, okay, yes, like, like I said,

(24:57):
she's technically not wrong, but also it's just a blowout,
bitch like chill out. She flips the funk out over
a blowout. What if you're fifteen and your only friend
got violently hot overnight, I can relax really upset and
I guess I really that's true, and that's where she's
And then Anne Hathay, instead of being like sympathetic, like yes,

(25:19):
I am insanely hot and that's hard for you to
deal with, she's just like, well, just because your hair
looks like ship, don't give don't be mad at me,
and it's like wow, and then her brother just like
came in his pants a second the second, he saw
her fucking bad blowout too. That's the thing. I was
rewatching it, and it's like, I remember, it's like she

(25:42):
had silky, smooth, straight hair, but it is not like
it is like all of a sudden they would take
the like photos away. It's a bad blowout. But I
don't think we should be judging women for how they look.
I don't know. I'm not judging her for how she looks.
I'm judging the stylists, yea. And no, I'm judging the
Hollywood stylist because they were like, here's four million dollars

(26:05):
make this incredibly hot girl have straight hair, and they're like,
I can't do it. Sorry, I can't do it. And
then there's a scene where whenever she's like, hey Lily,
I'm a princess, and then as she's telling her the secret,
they're behind a tree and then for no reason, it
cuts away to a guy with a leafblower. Whoever that
happened so much in this movie. It's like a cutaway

(26:27):
to something that's like makes no sense. Whoever edited this
movie was that they didn't want to do that. So
many loose sense because they're like, oh, I guess we
never wrote that scene where she tells her she's a princess.
They're like, just like, just also, wait, so there's the
neighbor character who's the Mr. This I passed it every

(26:53):
wound twice because she couldn't have just said thank you,
Mr robot Us. Absolutely no way on earth that they
named this character Mr. Robots And yet here and every
line out of his mouth is the funniest thing I've
ever He's great, he's funny. But he also sits outside

(27:15):
in a robe talking to teenagers. So that's funny. Because
we were watching her last night, Caleb was like, so me, like,
that's who I really related to him. Um, all right,
we have to get through the rest of this recap
really fast. Okay. So so then the word gets out

(27:37):
that she's a princess because Paulo Putinesca leaked it, and
now she has all the attentions, and now the Josh
boy who she likes, asks her out to the beach party,
and then she's like, yeah, I'll go, even though she's
already committed to going to Michael's watch Michael's band practice. Yeah,
and like Lily pre web series web series, yeah, a

(28:01):
web series. Yeah, So she ditches both of them, and
then she realizes that Josh is a bad guy after all,
and then Lana and all after a very wicky feet
scene with the two of them where he's like, yeah,
he's like you want to rub my foot? She's like
you want to rub my foot? He's like, no, rub
my selfish love. That's the whole scene is sucked up

(28:22):
where she gets naked and then like Lana manny Moore's
character like pulls the tent out for the tabloids to
see her. I'm like, that is a soft it's sucked up.
And then afterwards, like she goes to like her grandma,
and her grandma's like, well, why are you such a slut?
And like she's like yeah, grandma. And that's when you
find out how like tight her and Joe are because
then Joe is like, I really don't think you should

(28:44):
have called your granddaughter a slut, and she's like, I'm
the queen, but luckily we are fucking so I like
she doesn't do him. Yeah. Meanwhile, like she's getting better
at being a princess. She and her grandma are like
bonding and then and it's like down to the wire
where she has to decide am I going to be
a princess? And then after like all the bad press

(29:06):
from Beach Night, she's like, I can't can't do it,
Mandy Moore. She's just been shown naked on you know
what was the TMC at the time, Tiger beat on something.
But yeah, I gets her. She's like, I can't do
all this. But then she reads a letter from daddy
which is likesy. She's like, oh, I guess I should

(29:28):
be a princess exactly, and her like not doing it
like her like that's the normal, right thing, like where
she's like, I don't know. I feel like now that
I'm fifteen and people are like sort of like sexually
chasing me in the public eye, I should like not
do this. And then everybody's like have you no morals?

(29:48):
And then she talks to her grandma right after the
letter from the dad, and her grandma's like, your father
abandoning you was the hardest decision he ever made, selfish cunt,
And she's like, she's like, do you want to know
why your dad did it? For his country and because
of his duty to his country. And then it's like, um,

(30:09):
it was the money. It was the money. And then
Anne Hathaway responds not by saying that doesn't sound right.
She says to Julie Andrews, do you want a corn dog? Yes?
Julie Andrews says yes, I sure, because people in Genova
are just British. Where's the footage of Julie Andrews deep

(30:33):
threading that corn dog? Where is it at? Okay, So
now we're at the ball at the end and hath
Away shows up and she's like, I will be princess
after all, and everyone's like cool, very last man because
she gets caught in the rain because her car sucks
super pays off. She's like, I mean that was I

(30:55):
guess the whole point of the car plot you're read.
I just kind of put that together where they're okay,
so we're gonna do this whole thing where she's like
obsessed with this car that keeps breaking down. Then at
the end it will break down and someone's like perfect.
But there's also a super expensive looking trolley accident that
scared me from getting a driver. Literally right now, I

(31:16):
still don't have one. It's so scary. Movies have effect
movies there. Yeah, and she's like fifteen. Remember they even
have her break the law. She drives on her own
and she's like, is this guys, I'm not driving with
a license driver. And at the time, I was like
twelve being like, yeah, bad morals this movie. They're like

(31:38):
give up your life because the mom is like, I
didn't want to tell you were a princess because like
these institutions are patriarch like. She doesn't say that, but
she's basically like, I would be totally controlled by your
father and I didn't want that. And like I remember
when I was twelve being like, what a selfish bit. Yeah, okay,
so that's pretty much the story. She's like, yeah, I'm

(31:59):
a princess. No, and she speech she drops on a
high school for real, I know that's what happens. At
the end, she's like because that's the whole deal, the
whole time. And she's like because remember when she first
meets Julie Andrew's character, she's like, okay, so like blah
blah blah, A long story short, you're a princess. You
have to move to Genovia And she's like, I also

(32:22):
like should they say? She says like, I have tutors,
but it's like you're gonna have a g e d
like you're gonna like not a real gonna be Lindsay
Lohan and Micano. It's like you are not off for
a good path. Yeah, just tell a fifteen year old like,
your life is set. We are obviously rich. I will
drive you to school in a limo. You can bring

(32:44):
your cat, but not your mother. Yeah, you can bring
your cat, absolutely, but your mom is like kind of
a hippie freak. So the answer is no. No sleds
in Genovia. I just remember too, like their place, like
they're loft. You're like, does the mom pay that on
her artists, on her balloon art? I don't know. Although

(33:06):
the balloon scene another scene that Caitlin correctly argues does
not need to be there. However, I another great scene
and where I wanted to do that with I want.
I was like, man, having a fun mom seems great,
but it's also implying that fun moms are rich and

(33:26):
that bad artists are rich, and which is neither is true.
I can afford San Francisco. Like, that's like a billion
square foot apart I mean that is a million dollar apartment.
Like that's crazy with a fire poll your BEDROOMA keeps
hiding in her various rooms from her privilege, which is wild.

(33:51):
And on that note, I think we should maybe take
a bit of a break. I tend to agree, all right,
So what do we want to jump in with the discussion.
I mean, I don't know. Well, okay, so this movie
has a ton of women in it. Sandra, Oh is
in this movie? This as the principal Sandra, yeah, very yeah,

(34:15):
Oh my god. Put some cone on Manny Moore's like
cheerleader uniforms. I'm sorry. I'd like to make note that
someone noticed I was running low. Thank you. Jamie got
a fresh drink for the listeners at home. Because in
New York you don't have to drive, so and I
don't drive even in l A. Yeah, it's good for

(34:38):
you because of this movie that traumatizes you with that accident.
Yeah yeah. They kind of make it seem like being
hit by a trolley is like nb D Like she
like she talks to the cop and she's like, it's
totally no problem if you give me a ticket. But
I'm about to night you. And he's like, I guess
I won't give you a ticket. A cool hack for
all of us, really, I should do. Yeah, one's ever

(35:00):
heard of Genovia in San Francisco. But so you can
just be like, hey, I'm actually a queen and you're
you're awesome, and then you can just get out of
And if the cop is like, I know that's from
the movie Princess Diaries, I'd be like, oh my god,
that's for you. Also, do you want to date me?

(35:23):
There are a lot of women. There's some ton of women.
No father figures really well, not a strong dead father figure,
which they talk about all the time. They're obsessed with Philip.
When I wrote down his full name, Philippe Lenaldies, and
they do like a French accent and some a Greek
accent and part of the name like it's worth it's
worth mentioning in the books he is alive, her father

(35:46):
is alive, and the grandma is way meaner. But yeah,
they make kind of a reverse Disney move in the
case of this movie and kill the dad because that's
not what happens in the book and the grandfather and
they killed it. Okay, So this is something that hit
for me. I've seen this movie honestly, probably a hundred times,
and the first time I noticed they mentioned how recently

(36:08):
both the father and the grandfather have passed away and
kind of her like, but it's not a big piece,
Oh my god. And they don't really say how he died.
But there's one part in the movie where they grandma
just goes and that terrible accidents, but she just she's like,
she's my closest family members recently die, my son, I know,

(36:32):
my son and my husband. Like they say that her
husband died less than a year ago. We really and
she's already with the driver like they were. That's a
Joe chill out there when he imagined, like your husband
of a thousand years died like six months ago, and
then all of a sudden, your bodyguard is like corners
and was like you've been wearing black for too long.

(36:53):
I know, Oh my god, I forgot about That Actually
makes sense to me, because like if you've been married
for a long time and like you're like royalty, like
you're not fucking, and like, you know, like he was
always I feel like they were already fucking. But if
they weren't true, we don't know. If they weren't, then
he was just like finally, like your husband, who you're

(37:15):
not sucking, is dead, So can we just get on
with this, and then her son dies and he's like, well,
this is a road bump, you know. I mean, like
everyone deals with grief differently, but Julie Andrews deals with
losing arguably probably the two biggest people in her life
by calling her granddaughter ugly. Yes, that's talking her granddaughter ugly, sledge,

(37:37):
shaming her for going to the beach almost giving brink
of foot, Yes, can we talk about them? The makeover scene. Yes,
So this, like many movies, there's a woman who's not
conventionally attractive enough, even though she's played by an actress
who was conventionally attractive, and they're like, we gotta make

(37:59):
you hot for reasons, and then and then the makeover happens.
And in this movie, I feel like there's a slight
subversion because then her friend Lily is like, you're destroying
someone is supposed to be the bad guy in that scene.

(38:20):
She's supposed to be, because then like the brother is like, no,
you're hot, because like Lily's like, you're only here because
we can't fuck. Yeah, she should have said that to
him in that scene. And then we're supposed to be
mad at Lily because then Mia wears a hideous felt
hat to school horrible. The one thing that actually made

(38:41):
Anne Hathway look kind of ugly in the whole movie
was that they felt hat, but she continues to wear
it's just a hat. But then like the guy her
speech teacher who her mom is fucking, which is also
from the book but has no bearing on the movie,
they throw it in just to be like, by the way,
we're sucking, but we didn't write it any sex positive movie.
I think, well, but I also think this movie goes

(39:04):
out of its way to make sure you know any
woman who single at any point in this movie is
a heterosexual woman. Like it goes out of its way
to tell you, because otherwise, why say that the mom's
having sex with anyone? Every scene the mom is talking
about who she's fucking, who she sucked in the seventies,
her dad, because I was looking for, like just the

(39:24):
Bechtel aspect. And then it's like every time the mom
walks in, she's like, your mom is getting in it.
She's like, mom, my teacher, mom my dad in the seventies,
mom a different man in the seventies, and her mom's like,
let's dark, yeah, what are you fifteen? So in that scene.

(39:53):
So Lily's all like, oh, you used to care more
about like what was in your head than what was
on it, And you can kind of get behind what
she's saying, but also she is judging a woman for
how she looks, and it's just a blowout. I mean
seriously used to care of. I mean like, I've gotten
my hair straightened four times in my life. It took
seven hours, and every time I do it, like some

(40:16):
of my closest friends would just walk right past and
they don't even recognize me as a curly haired person
who's not trying to straighten their hair every day. It's like,
just let her have a day of silky smoothness. You know,
I did it in high school. I did it for
two hours every morning in high school and straightened my hair.
And still people from high school are like, oh, you used,

(40:37):
Why did you do that anymore? Like James James, mgboy,
you villain dude, what are you doing? Yeah. Also, it's
like that's the untouched colonial aspect. It's like Genovia obviously
has some race issues they need to deal with. There
is like in there, like little gathering they have, like
the dinner that she like accellently, like knocked over the table.

(40:59):
They have like this like Asian woman playing the loo,
and there's like all this stuff where you're like, okay,
you're clearly like very into this eighteen hundreds like British
colonial look. And then they straightened her hair. That's sucked
up because I remember being like, I'll only be beautiful
until I have straight hair. And then I got older
and people were like, I want curly hair, and I'm like, well,

(41:19):
which is it? People. Yeah, there's also some weird like
queer phobia moment. Whenever Joe was like, here are your
pumps that I bought, and whenever I bought them, the
guy was like do you want these wrapped? Or do
you want to wear them? And he's like, San Francisco
such a weird place. Yeah, there's a lot of negging
of San Francisco as like a gay place right right,

(41:42):
which is so dumb because I'm like, this movie clearly
went way out of its way to take place in
San Francisco. I would have been way easier to have
it literally anywhere else. It's so Hollywood at that time.
It shows you how like nothing's changed about like the
bros who are in charge because you know, there's just
like twenty like all like dudes like in charge, like

(42:04):
and they're like, yeah, let's make a movie in San Francisco.
But let's like acknowledge like how like gay it is.
It's like good for you, dude. Yeah, I feel like
it's because that like driving scene, the various driving scenes
and accidents needed to happen, and I wanted to talk
about them. Okay, so she's d scene. She's not good

(42:25):
at driving. Maybe it's because she doesn't have a license yet,
but it's you know, there's a bunch of movies where
we see women being bad at driving. It's a trope.
It's also just a stereotype in the world. The moment
where like a woman like panics and she's like I
don't know how to hold a steering wheel and then
she like crashes or like something happens like that. I've

(42:45):
seen that all the time, remember, right exactly. So, and
then there's like obviously way fewer movies where men are
bad at driving. In fact, there's many movies where the
whole place good Fasten, the Furious Baby Driver Drive. There's

(43:05):
a lot of them. But anyway, seems like this just
perpetuate the idea that women are bad at driving. Yeah,
all the male movies about driving, Like it's like that's
supposed to be seen as like a positive thing, and
it's like my high school experience was like getting in
a car with some psycho who's like, I don't know
how to drive, but I'm gonna go a hundred, like
you know why at least I'm sucking going twenty five
as I hit the curve like whatever. My whole high

(43:28):
school driving experience was boys turning onto High Street and
being like high Street get it. I feel like that's
an extension of like cars are a masculine thing and
but they want to fund cars, but cars are seen
as objects equivalent to women because like they're like every

(43:52):
car commercial is just like stick your dick in the
that's like your dick in the gust. Take then other
woman will know that you're fucking Like that's just like
every car commercial. And then movies that like have a
woman who's like good at fixing cars is a way
to show she's not like the other girls. But they

(44:13):
show a girl like in a tank top with her
book and the other jacket fixing a car, and then
they have to show her with a man immediately to
be like she's not gay, Like she's not gay, don't worry.
People are not gay. People are not gay, and especially
not the hot woman that you want. And I feel
like the man is there also to like affirm she's

(44:36):
doing it correctly, like he's also going to be like
what she did do the thing to the thing. I'm
a bad example of I don't know anything about cars.
And the only speaking person of color role in this
whole movie for Princess Diaries is the mechanic. There's a
cheerleader who there's a cheerleader, but he only role is
speaking in sync with Mandy Moore and the other thing.

(44:58):
And they're like that that that like bring it where
they have I'm missing you. Yeah, And then they have
the mechanic guy whose only line is he's like you
sweet on her, the only line they give him, and
you're like, yeah, there's also and as a person of color,
but he all right night and he's like why don't

(45:21):
have to give him a ticket? And it's like unbelievable.
This the whole movie is about, like where it's just
the grandma being like, if you are the right kind
of a woman, you may achieve your power. I don't
know if she's really a child. She's like she's like,
you'll come into your power if you can wave and

(45:44):
be female and night male offices when they feel threatened. Well,
also with the mechanic character, his whole thing, like he's
one of three I think people of color who speak
at all in the movie. And also his character is
so weird where he's like, yeah, let these teenage boys
rehearse and work for me for no money. Yeah. Yeah,

(46:04):
his whole thing. I was like, that is what who
He's like very invested in that. There's always like these
high school movies when you look back, there's like these
older people who are like very invested in the sexual
lives of teens and it's just like arrest them. That's crazy.
Like Mr robotozn't like that's insane. Mr robotun't. Was for

(46:25):
sure nude under his yes every time and he's just
muttering under his breath, just being like the clean wax
to the car he wanted em Yeah. Yeah. First he's like,
I can't believe I won an Emmy. It's like, who
are you talking? That's yeah, what did you win an
Emmy for? That's so sad speaking, that was a horrible transition. Good.

(46:51):
But there is a surprise kiss in this movie. Whenever
Josh he's like, oh, there's cameras, there's how the exploit
this moment. It is unlike most movies as being wrong. Yes,
and she reacts appropriately by being like you, I didn't
want you to kiss me. I think she smacks him
with her sandal or something. Yeah, so if and then

(47:12):
later he gets hit in the dick with a softball.
So let that be a lesson to you all you
break men out there. Any man who's like the movie
Brink is problematic. Any woman who likes the movie Brink right,
So if that Basically, if there is a surprise kiss
in a movie, there's a right way to handle it

(47:33):
in a wrong way. But this movie I think did
it the right way. Yeah, we've seen progress since the eighties.
Something I liked about this movie and would like to
tip my hideous felt hat too, is, uh the tip
of the ugly great felt that your teacher makes you

(47:54):
take off to reveal you're the hottest school. Uh. What
I'd like to tip that thing too is that it
is rare to see multiple generations of women in a movie.
At all, and especially three generations of women interacting with
each other. I mean, and it's like a lot of

(48:14):
the time they're calling Anne Hathaway ugly, a lot of
the times they're not disclosing the details of this accident. Uh,
maybe does pass the loftist test because bondist woman in
charge Julie Andrews and she's yeah, she's in charge. And
and just like seeing a woman over sixty normally, the

(48:37):
normally they'll be like, grandma's their mom's dead, right, but
Grandma's gonna bond with the daughter. And all three of
them have very different views of what the choice should be.
And it's to this movie's credit we do see these
women interacting a lot, and we see that they have
different opinions, and sometimes their opinions are weird and stupid,

(48:59):
but know that's what people are like. So I thought
that that was a generally positive thing because you don't
usually see three female characters at all, much less ones
that are related to each other. A better version of
this women at all. I can't believe we're on this
stage right now. It's crazy. I've never seen more than
two women at one time ever. Know, Jamie, you're totally right.

(49:24):
And then there's many other female characters. Most of the
people that Mia interacts with our women. Um there's like
the Joe exception, there's the Michael who's basically, I agree
with Marcia, an extension of Lily. Yeah, Lily, but you
can't have that in mainstream Hollywood. There were echoes of

(49:46):
Daria in this movie for me, where Daria and Jane
are a very similar friendship for any Daria heads out there,
where we're just like kiss but she doesn't. And that's
as brother. Same thing. They create Jane's brother because Daran
Jane can't hook up and they have six Sad World,
which is basically shut up and listened. So it's like, yeah,

(50:10):
you're incredible. So this is effectively a Disney princess movie.
It's live action, but it's a Disney movie. Realized that
it's really called The Princess Diary. I know, I'm so
late in life from like, I can't believe I ever

(50:32):
thought it was smart for one second, what the princess narrative.
But there's a line towards the end that the grandmother says,
people think princesses are supposed to wear. Tiara's Mary the
prince always look pretty and live happily ever after. But
it's so much more than that. It's a real job.
And it's like, well, maybe people think that about princess

(50:53):
is because your company, Disney perpetuated that very idea and
also of cinema and also in the movie, her princess
training is only based on Yes, she's not taught like
how to run a country. She's not taking Civics lessons.

(51:15):
She's not like taking No, this isn't the crown. There's
no pressure on her to know how to speak in public. None. Yeah,
that's the whole thing. At the beginning, She's like, I
can't talk in public. They're like, we'll just make you hot.
It doesn't. Yeah, she's she mentioned you like you'll learn
languages and like study policy, but we don't see that.
We only see her getting hot and then maintaining her hotness. Also,

(51:37):
am I supposed to believe she's at the end, like
going on a plane to Genovia with that Louis the
cat just being like super happy, like I made my decision,
Like I had to leave my boyfriend when I was
fifteen for like three weeks and I was baling. I
was like I mean, am I supposed to believe that?

(51:58):
She's just like, yeah, like, whatever happened happens, there's no way.
And also the thing that kind of swings the final
thing that swings her decision is a letter from her dad,
who abandoned her at birth, and that's the thing that
changes her mind. It's like, you have at least three
women in your life who you see right now every day,

(52:20):
who have more perspective into who you are. And then
it's like a handwritten letter from her flashback dad who's
lounging in a field of daisies for no fucking reason,
being like, dear woman, I abandoned. Hope you're hot. Like
that's the weird thing about Lily though, too, because there's
this one scene where the writers clearly gave up because

(52:43):
like she's just like, yeah, so like you know and
my dad who just died like a year ago or whatever,
and Lily literally goes, I thought you were over that.
It was two months, she goes. She goes, and then
two months I kind of thought you were getting over that.
And she's like, well, yeah, but I'm still like pretty
sad about it. And she's like, but like he wasn't

(53:05):
even there for you and like, also, you're hot now,
so she shut the funk up? Is she hot by then?
Wasn't that right after? Was before? So even before she's
just like over yourself, Like Lily is not a good friend.
I'm sorry. There is a moment that I enjoyed later
on where Lily's like, hey, actually, you being a princess
is cool because you can like affect chain took me

(53:27):
up with ship. Yeah, but again, yeah, she has a
Faberge egg already, Like and she didn't know her dad
was a prince. Okay, I forgot. That's the end. She's like,
I've decided to do this because I'll be able to
do good in the world. It's like, yeah, fucking right,
Like the movie should have been about then, Like I
feel like it should have been feeling strongly about a

(53:49):
cause and having When she's a princess, she's like, yes,
I can use this platform to like her cause was
my hair is curly? Right? Well, I get yours right now,
And she's like, my causes gone. The Meg Cabot books,
I have not read them in many years. I will
never read them again. Sorry, but they're very different in that,

(54:11):
like there is a sequel to this movie that still
has and Hathaway and Julie Andrews. I haven't seen it
in many years. I know the promise of it is
and Hathaway has to get married in forty eight hours
or Genovia seeses to exist. Oh my gods. Constitution did
not think ahead at all. The serious very different where

(54:32):
I wouldn't. I would argue that there's a lot of
the same core problems, but the rest of the book
series sort of goes on, like Mia has to go
to Genovia during school vacations, but she continues to go
to school, and so it's more like she's more of
a normal person like Juggling. It's more Hannamiz every weekend. Yeah,

(54:53):
I'm sure that makes her relatable to her team here. Yeah,
that girl I would want to be friends with. She's like,
I gotta gr up every week and you can't come by.
But they totally like there's at least some of the
basics of this first movie are based in the source material,
and then they just totally jump the shark and they're like, well,
if Andam hath the Way doesn't get married, there's going

(55:14):
to be a genocide. It's like it's just crazy. Everybody Genoia.
It's horrid. Genovia becomes Greece, France or whatever it's supposed
to be. We musty flower Virgin and or the drops.
It's just, oh my god, it's so true. Yeah, she's

(55:35):
like fifteen, and they're like, are you ready to be
a princess? Do you even want to fuck? She's like,
I don't know, I'm just a nerd. One last thing
I wanted to talk about is the part where the
paparazzi takes all the photos of her getting surprised kissed
by Josh and then changing out of her swimsuit, and

(55:56):
then everyone the press is like, wow, what a party
animal this new princesses. And wait, my favorite line, it's
a really lazy line by like one of the newscasters
in this world, where she's like, we're a night of
fun turned into too much fun. It's like great, yeah,

(56:18):
great job. But I feel like it's a commentary on
how like the press often villainizes young women. The grandma,
even the grand she bought it, she basically shame. I
feel like that scene traumatized me because like there's all
these like pseudo sexual assaults that happened in these like

(56:39):
PG movies where it's like, hey, like, go ahead and
get naked in a place that you think is private,
but like, like, I guess I should prepare for that,
but maybe maybe you should, like fuck. And so now
I live my life as a never nude because you
got cut offs under there positive, someone is telling me

(57:02):
at all times. Um. So I think that's a healthy balance.
On the other hand, I would argue that her mom
is very sex positive because whenever she's like I think
I'm gonna have my first kiss tonight, She's like, you go, girl,
go kiss even though that boy sucks and I know
he sucks. Like I mean, her mom's like like I

(57:23):
want to romantic kiss her. My leg goes up and
her mom's like loser, And I was like, oh, like
your kiss. Like every scene as her mom just being
like I get sucked a lot, So good luck to you. Um.

(57:43):
Does anyone have any other final thoughts about the movie? Um? Okay,
So I will never not love this movie. However, this
is like one of those movies, like many princess movies,
but I think this one more so than any other
movie I grew up with, is it is a movie
that gives you like an avatar character to plug yourself

(58:05):
into when you're a young girl. And so that makes
like what happens in the movie ten Times is important
because most any girl who is young thinks they look
like shit. And that is how like, I feel like
there's no like young women here who didn't see Anne
Happy Way at the beginning of that movie and be
like yep, and and again. If you didn't and you're

(58:27):
still hot, you're not relatable or as a person, congrats
to email us with your experience as a hot person.
But but like when there are movies where there's clear
characters that are written and designed for young people to
like plug themselves into, you have to be so careful
how you manage that character. Often the issue with these
characters as they are boring. Example, Harry Potter, uh, where

(58:51):
you're like, everyone's gonna be like, I'm Harry Potter, but
Harry Potter is like, I don't do anything and I
have money. I'm my money can under Harry Potter. Anyways, there,
I just listen to you guys. It Harry Potter episodes.
So funny that you brought that up. It's it's I
hate polarious I love Harry Potter because Jamie was like,

(59:11):
I hate Harry Potter. Yeah, Jamie starts off the podcast.
I've been like I hate Harry Potter, and then um,
your guests, Maggie May I think was like I remember
waiting in line at midnight to get the new Harry
Potter bucks and Jamie's like, yes, yes, yeah. I was
like I was there too, but I also hated it.

(59:32):
I'll like to say clear avatar characters who go from
non hot too hot, who go right exactly And and
in the movie Too they straightened her Minie's hair and
all of a sudden, she's hot. That was always like
you have curly hair, but you're thin. And then they
strain your hair to take off the glasses and they're
like boom down, and and so that's like a downside

(59:53):
of this movie, is it? It Like the takeaway is,
like many movies, being hot will solve most of your problem.
And once you get hot, you're probably actually rich, which
is amazing. You never see makeover where they're still poor afterwards.
That's that would be an important again industry free idea.

(01:00:14):
You're welcome. I'm gonna make that and they're gonna be
like we've done it well. It's like when I stridened
my hair for the first time, I was like, yeah,
you still uh I know. I did movie to teach
me that, Like once I got my hair straighted professionally
from my bomb mitzvah, and I was like, my life
is about to change. And then like everybody was like, no,

(01:00:37):
we still think Heather, there's the hot one. I'm like,
there's always there's television shows. But yeah, you're right. Movies
like that have to be very careful with how they
handle it, and I would want this movie does not
handle it very well. But they say bush Man eyebrows.
They're like hello, Freda calla like no sense of of

(01:01:00):
anyone Rita a movie that is in thank you. Wow. Also,
we have a listener in the front row with a
feminine icon Albert Molina. What's your name? Shout out to Zoe? Yes,
show a shot. Also speaking of bodyguards, who fuck uh?

(01:01:26):
Whitney Houston produced this movie? Wait? Yes, yeah she did.
And literally I was like, it's not that Whitney Houston
and it is always that Whitney Houston. We're so worth noting.
This movie has many female producers. Directed by Gary Marshall,
but always written by a woman and based on a

(01:01:48):
novel written by Yeah, so a lot of women read
here are adult novels as well. I haven't read them
since I was novels. Could she did? Is she? Like?
Genuinely clap if you've read My Cabin? I've heard of
does she? Does she hold up? Okay, I've heard. I
mean I really enjoyed her, but I read I read

(01:02:11):
her through high school and I haven't read her since.
But I would argue the source material for this series
is much better than any of the movie out of like,
let's dumb it down because and then the book it's
literally it's called the Princess Diaries because it's written first
person from Mia. It's her. That's what I wondered too,
because when I was rewatching, I was like, why is

(01:02:31):
this the Diaries? And at least they bridget Jones's diary.
They make a loose attempt to be like September. Well
in the movie, they changed the diary to be a
diary she's given that her father wrote in and that's
that it is at the end. Okay, but he's not
as close as the Prince's diary diary about his daughter,

(01:02:55):
he said to the princess diary that bequeathed upon his death.
That's a good game. That's a good title for a movie. Objectively,
Hey do test? Okay, Yes, it does pass the Backtel
test because there's a lot of conversations with two women
that are like over one line that are about country,

(01:03:19):
but mostly about the dead dad who is a man,
and also about looks, which is like, that's an interesting
thing because there's so many like chick flick movies where
it's like, I guess technically they're like speaking not about
a man, but they're speaking about making yourself appeal to
the male gays who had it on there, who had

(01:03:43):
it on their bingo card, margot down male gay has
got one in. That's something we come up against a
lot where and there's versions of media tests they say
that women can't be talking about domestic stuffs. But based
on this movie and based on two years of doing
this podcast, now, like I think the thing that I

(01:04:04):
would jump to first is making a media test like
it can't pass the Bechtel test if women are insulting
each other based on their looks, Because it passes the
Bechtels test in this movie, our version of it, and
technically whatever the canonical version of it. So many times
when women are telling each other, they look like absolute ship. Yeah,

(01:04:24):
and it's like frustrated, and it's not even in like
the way that it is with like me and my friends.
So it's like you look like shit girl, you know,
like where it's like a compliment. It's because you're working
so hard. Well, so many of the passes that we've had,
or either they're talking about food or making food, they're
talking about clothes, they're talking about some other like hair,

(01:04:45):
makeup things, or it's like you should kill yourself. She's
all that. I'm gonna kill you, Miss congeniality. A star
is born to high I'm gail. This is the way
to the stage. I'm goin to icon more. Well, let's

(01:05:13):
write the Princess Diaries on our nipple scale if you're familiar,
nipple scale if you're not familiar. We rate the movie
based on his portrayal and representation of women based on
a scale of zero to five nipples. I'm gonna give this.
I'm sorry. What was it nipple? What isn't nipple? Does
anyone in the audience, anyone do you want to show

(01:05:40):
are you doing like a show us your tips to
the audience right now, show us your tips high brows
the show first, I'm sorry, does quite familiar? Does anyone
have a nipple on head? On hand? I think I'm
gonna oh, thank you so much. That could go on Instagram. Yeah,

(01:06:06):
I think I'm going to give this a too. Two nipples.
Like look, no, everyone everyone in there, everyone in their head,
have their nipp because we don't listen to us. You know,
we're stupid. We don't know over on your head. But
I'm going to give it a too because even though

(01:06:26):
in the movie there's female relationships and female friendships, which
is great, I do like a lot of the characters,
especially Lily and Fat Louis and Mr robotutions two of
those are but Lily is cool, So I do appreciate
like the female relationship aspect of the movie. But because
almost the entire movie is framed around she's got to

(01:06:48):
be a very specific standard of beauty to even be
considered to be able to do this whole princess role.
The movie spends no time being like, hey, you should
maybe learn about you know, policy, or like anything like that.
Right about the country. It's about the country itself. It's
all about and a lot. I feel just like a
lot of things kind of happened to her, and they

(01:07:10):
don't even show it on a map. They don't want
to even give us like a loose like it's here.
So yeah, I think like there are opportunities for this
movie to be about something more important and it simply
was not. So I'm gonna do two nipples and they
both go to Fat Louis. Obviously, I'm going to give this.

(01:07:36):
I guess I'm gonna go two and a half. I
love this movie, dear, Oh my god, I was gonna
go three. Can everyone relax? But someone like seed, I'll
go three. I I remember when I was like, I
don't so come to peer pressure. I want everyone to
think I'm cool. I am going to give this. I'm

(01:07:58):
gonna give it three nipples. And there are there are
a lot of issues with this movie, which we spent
time discussing. There's obviously a lack of diversity. We only
see one woman of color in the entire movie, and
she's basically one character combined with another like white Girl,
because they only speak. She has she is, and she

(01:08:29):
has multiple exchanges in the movie. The past the Bechtel
test because she is a woman in charge. She's the
principle of the school, and she's either listening to or
dismissing her students, depending on who another thing is. She's
kind of like, you know, kind of like a bitch.
And then like whenever she finds out that like me
as a princess, she's like, oh yeah, I'll do anything

(01:08:50):
for you, which kind of speaks to like, what I
do like about this movie is not just you see
many generations of women in prominent roles. You see a
lot of different personality types from women, and I think
that that is a rarity in movies, especially movies marketed
to young girls specifically. Is I think like a common

(01:09:12):
like Fumble is like all women have to like each other.
If you don't like every single woman, you are bad.
And you see and there's there's so many different kinds
of women. You know. You you see Mia, you see
Julie Andrews who has been raised by the patriarchy and
is has issues. You see Helen who, you see Mandy

(01:09:35):
Moore who genuinely is a despicable person and deserve to
get coned. Uhha, god loha, God. Count You see Lily,
who is like a very socially active kind of women.
You see like a lot of different kinds of women
with specific cause she's at someone she's like seals to.

(01:10:00):
There's a lot of difference. She wears buttons on her jeans.
I think that's an accurate representation of the high school activists.
They're like all in justice space. She's like eating French
fries like I'm a vegetarian. Yeah, it's like you see,
you see a lot of different types of women, and
you see them interacting with each other and having differences

(01:10:21):
of opinion and seeing them resolving issues, and that's not
something in spite of all the issues we have talked about.
I think that that was definitely something that resonated with
me and people love this movie, and I still really
like this movie. So three nips from me giving one
to me up and giving one to Lily, and I'm

(01:10:43):
giving one to Sandra. Oh yeah, yeah, Marcia, what do
you say? You know what? Honestly, I'm gonna give it
three nipples just like Marky Mark, three nips just like
Mark Wahlberg. Um, because yeah, this is a ing upon
rewatch because at the time, all these movies that I watched.

(01:11:03):
I was just like a great message. Love it. I
hate myself, but I love the movie, like rewatching all
these like there's this one movie I think it was
called No, it's not Head over Heels because that's Samel
gives someone. But there's some movie where it's like Freddie
Prince Jr. And he's dating a girl who lives with
all models, and she's like, she's like the regular looking one.

(01:11:26):
And I remember being like, if that's regular looking, kill me.
And that's what this movie is because I remember at
the time being like, okay, Anne Hathaway before like all right,
what are the more convincing and we condemned movie makeovers. However,
this is the only effective movie makeover where you genuine

(01:11:47):
lucy a marked difference between one and two, where like
when we did Miss Congeniality, it's like it was Sandra
bullok the whole time, it was Sandra Bull, like the
whole That's the thing with all these movies. It's always
like she's all at your lab. It was her, she
was Josie. But okay, so three nipples. One to Miadi

(01:12:13):
General whatever her name is, and I want to give
one to the mom who just like refuses to be
sledg shamed, and I respect that's so much about her
because every scene is her being like I sucked your
teacher and me a being like what and her being
like in the seventies, I foxed someone that looked like
your teacher. So one for the mom, one for Mia,

(01:12:39):
and one is sort of a conglomerate of what should
have been one character with the Lily brother and that's Oh,
and I feel bad missing Julie Andrews, so I'm gonna
change mind to three point five nipples to give sort
of a higher score than you guys. We can get
like the Olympic judging like comedian grade out of three.
Yeah for Julie Andrews, because God bless her. She deserves

(01:12:59):
an Oscar for the roll. Don't argue with me, he does.
She at least has starved a golden globe. I don't
know if she got one, but he says no. I mean,
because I think that Oscar should be decided not based
on if the movie is good, but based on what
people did with the source material, because there was not
a lot you could do with this movie, and she

(01:13:20):
stayed committed the entire time. She was like, no, I
am a Genovian queen and not like twelve years old,
I remember being like Genovia is real, she's the queen.
I would like to revoke one of my nipples from
Mia and give it to Meg Cabin because story to
our source material that got bought. I mean, these authors
are so brave, like where they're like I read they

(01:13:41):
call me by your name author where he was like honest,
and I read the book after I saw the movie.
The ending is completely different. I think they should have
done the ending like the book. And the author was like,
they changed my whole story, but I really respect it.
And I'm like, I don't know how you do that,
because if I wrote a book and someone changed like
one thing, I'd be like, na, but what about a

(01:14:04):
million dollars? Actually that I could have so much integrity
before I actually write anything. And then I write a
book and they're like, we'll give you four billion dollars.
All the characters are different. I'm like, you gotta baby
all women. Well, Harsha, thank you so much for being

(01:14:27):
thank you for having them. Thank you. What would you
like to plug? Where can people follow you online? Um?
You can follow me online? Marsha Bellski just my name
on all places. Yeah, I'm kind of like a guy scale,
so like unless you're into like men's rights, like, don't
follow me. Great, big thanks to the New York Comedy

(01:14:48):
Fostival for having us, Baby's all Right for having us here.
You can follow us to at backtel Cast all the stuff.
Thank you so much for being here. Get a fa
Hey everyone, it's Caitlin again. I just wanted to say
from Jamie and I, thank you again to the New
York Comedy Festival for having us, Thanks to the venue

(01:15:11):
Baby's all Right in Brooklyn for hosting us, and thanks
to our guest, Mark Schabelski. She was great, and make
sure to follow her and to follow Headless Women of Hollywood.
Speaking of following things on social media, you can do
that for us on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, at bachtel Cast,

(01:15:33):
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(01:15:56):
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Bechtel Cast, have a great twenty nineteen. All right by