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October 9, 2017 43 mins

In this bonus episode Jack & Miles have on special guest Dan O'Brien and discuss Trump's NFL tirade, anti-black QB bias, fake news about George Washington, the fake Blacktivist FB account created by Russian entities, & a tabloid round-up.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hello the Internet. I'm welcome to this Monday, September twenty
eight episode of The Daily Zy Guys. My name is
Jack O'Brien. I am joined as always by my co host,
Mr Miles Gray, and we're thrilled to be joined in
studio by Mr Daniel O'Brien. No relations, Yeah, and then
I did annoy if that was as cool as the

(00:21):
one Miles did Minds from the Wayne's Brothers used to do.
Daniel is the creative director at Cracked and had a
video and best selling author. Yeah, and so are you? Yeah? Hey, hey,
it's Jack, best selling author. I think you did that

(00:42):
to set yourself mostly oh me, Yeah, I guess, I guess,
I guess subject of secret service investigations. Yeah, yeah, so
and so are all of you. Now, I did not
think about that talking to him. How'd that happened? Dan?
I wrote an article for Cracked. You were working there
at the time, so it's as usual. You gave me

(01:03):
the assignment to do it, and I tried to push back. Um,
it was a UM, so you've kidnapped the President's daughters?
I think was a title that I submitted UM, and
then I believe it got changed to how to kidnap
the president's writers. Uh. It was a satirical guide about
what to do if you've accidentally kidnapped the president's daughters.

(01:26):
And about six months after it ran, the Secret Service
contacted our parent company at the time and they were like, hey,
do you know anyone named Daniel O'Brien. The Secret Service
would like to speak to him, and they had to
had to take down the article. And then I went
to the downtown l A office and they had print
outs of the article and just asked me a bunch
of questions about why I wrote certain things, and if

(01:48):
I had ever been in a terrorist group, and if
I did any terrorist things in my life, and I
just did a bunch of nose and a whole bunch
of jokes because I'm yeah, I'm broken, like I'm a
bad person. Because the Secret Service has a good, good
sense of humor. Yeah, that's that's what they're famous for.
Were you ever part of a terrorist group in college?
I'm like, no, it's just part of an acapella group.

(02:10):
What was the name of that group? Ship b Sharks
And the h I told him I wasn't a terrorist
and they could call my mom if they wanted, and
they said, we'd like to please give us her number, like, oh, no,
she doesn't know about any of this. And ever since then,
you get stopped every time you're passing through the t
s A. Three out of five times I get uh

(02:31):
stopped and uh one or two times I went through
like a different room. There was like you need to
go into this room while we hold your passport for
a second. And then they said, okay, you can get
out of this room and go to your plane now.
And very often I get a little notice in my
checked baggage that they went through at well, I was
flying and asleep. You're welcome, Daniel Hey, speaking of terrorist organizations.

(02:54):
The Democrats picked up two seats in a special election
this past Tuesday. Uh So this news was overshadowed by
the great NFL uh whatever you wanna call that freak
out American freak out, which we'll get into uh later.
But the Democrats picked up two seats in uh what

(03:17):
one of them is certainly not one we would have
expected Democrats to pick up. Uh, And Miles we were
saying that this is significant. Yeah, it's a good precursor.
Like so in New Hampshire, this woman Cary Larner. She
won a special state house election, uh in a district
that Trump won like by twenty three points. Uh. And

(03:38):
also Republicans have a two to one advantage in registrations there.
So despite all that, she won this seat. Uh. And
then also in Florida, um, in the Miami area, another
Democratic candidate picked up a state Senate seat. So it's
really interesting because you know, uh, that's that makes it
what eight Republican seats that the Democrats have flipped in

(04:00):
here just in special elections, and those aren't like main
like Senate seats, They're not gonna like have a huge impact.
But you're saying that it's like a good weather balloon
for like things to come right right right. So like
even in when the Tea Party was on the rise, uh,
and like right after Obamacare had been passed, there were
a lot of uh yeah, special elections where Tea Party

(04:20):
or Republicans were flipping Democratic seats. Uh. And that eventually
was a precursor to the mid terms in where the
Democrats lost the House. So yeah, I think it's really
interesting because that means, like I think of the twenty
seven Republican held state legislative seats that have been up
for elections, intent of them have been flipped. Uh and

(04:42):
that's pretty significant to have like one third nearly one
third go blue. Um, so you know, keep your eye
on that. We might see some significant pickups for the
Blue team. Uh in Um yeah, I mean the main
the like top voting population in the two thousand sixteen

(05:02):
presidential election was people who chose not to vote, so
I could I could definitely see people now who just
chose not to partake last time. Uh. Now you know,
deciding now that they've seen what that Yeah. Um, so yeah,
keep an eye on that and vote, vote your conscience. Yeah. Again,

(05:25):
but probably a thing, as the god Ted Cruz says, Yeah,
just a story that slid under the radar because yeah,
there's a lot, I guess comparatively many other crazier things
happening that actually need attention. Yeah. And the other election
thing was that the guy Trump supported lost, but he
lost to somebody who was even fucking crazier than him.

(05:46):
So that's that's scary to me because I'm gonna keep
my eye on the Blue team obviously, but I'm also
gonna keep my eye on how many people that banned
supports get sorted through because because he has been legitimately
part of the vast right way a French conspiracy for
his entire life and even him out of the White House,
he still is a guy who's like picking candidates he
likes and advancing their careers and and like, we don't

(06:09):
want that. We don't want this new version of Tea
Party fringe candidates to because these people are even to
the right of the Tea Party because like now we're
actually going into insane territory, like we have just straight
up racists who like are in homophobic islama, like any phobia.
You could fucking have Roy Moore, he's he checks the list.
So yeah, to have someone like that now enter the Senate,

(06:30):
like one of the highest of our congressional houses, Like,
that's uh interesting things. We'll see what happens, because yeah,
it's we're starting to actually see now that it's it's
going to be a Bannon's Party versus I guess whatever
the establishment GOP is, who knows what they are anymore.
It's it's all kind of coming apart. Yeah. At the
same time, there was no non scary answer to that one.

(06:52):
It was it was either Trump, skuy or Bannon's guy one.
So I mean, uh, well, we'll have to see if
this guy performs really l in the general election, then
that maybe we can uh start peeing our little pants.
But he based off just like who picked two? Like
I feel like the name should have been flipped, like
Luther Strange was like the establishment geops candidate, and then

(07:13):
Roy Moore is like the fringe candidate. I think Roy
Moore sounds more like Luther Strange and Roy Moore sounds
more like an establishment GEOP pick. So they kind of
suck up the names. Yeah, just some just some story
notes for next time the universe, whoever is writing this show.
Another another timely story, uh, is that apparently the blacktivist

(07:36):
account was Uh. This is a fairly popular account that is,
I don't know, it's for black activists. It has more
followers than the Black Lives Matter page. And it turns
out it was just Russian trolls uh or the Russian government,

(07:58):
depending on what you choose to believe, whether you're Steven
Seagal or uh. But Vladimir Putin didn't have anything to
do with this. Yeah, idea that Ladimal Putin such a
wonderful pronunciation. Hey, you have some experience with Steven Seagal, Right,
didn't you like work with him on something? No, what,

(08:21):
there's a chance you're thinking of me, Jack, I was
the talking head expert on Steven Seagal for the A
n A biography of Steven. Yeah, I was not. I
was thinking of that anecdote. But that keep an eye
out for Dan's appearance on the Steven Seagal It's very dated.
Now we don't we don't talk about all his the

(08:42):
new phase of his career when he became a Russian. Yeah, yeah,
that that that It's it's crazy because that black divist account,
like I mean, outwardly sort of seemed like it was
a social justice kind of page where I mean maybe
more inflammatory because like the kinds of things that they
were posting, uh were pretty much exclusively like clips of
police brutality with things like you know, we know where

(09:05):
the police stand and kind of having this pretty strong
anti police, anti government, uh like narrative behind it. But
like there were little indicators that it was clear that
this might not have been in Native English speker behind it,
because there was like wonky grammar here and there that
like you know, native speakers wouldn't use, and like they
would constantly use that backwards apostrophe for like whenever they

(09:26):
needed a real one, that one that's right underneath the
escape key that no one knows why the funk that's there.
That's what they were using as an apostrophe. Um. And
then they were also posting a lot of like anti
Hillary posts and just like stuff about Jill Stein like
that it's like a vote for Jill Stein is for
peace and it's not a vote wasted. So you know,
they were clearly had some ulterior motives. I mean, just

(09:47):
wanted to split votes, cause the native effect all over again.
And yeah, who knows how well it worked, But like,
like I said, I had more Facebook followers than the
legitimate Black Lives Man Better page, so it had a
It has a pretty impressive footprint, which is a really
troubling thing for me, just because I mean, Russians hacking

(10:11):
everything UH in my life is obviously terrifying. But knowing
that our president is UH just a loud funnel of
hate and misinformation, that this story will be obfuscated so
much in talking points because now it's a real win
for racists on the right to link Russian hackers with UH.

(10:32):
What seems like a social justice cause that I don't
I don't like how this will get obfuscated down the
line into probably linking Russian hackers with Black Lives Matter.
It's just like a another scary thing. American racism is
a product of the KGB. Yeah, I mean, that's kind
of the brilliant thing about lad the mere Putin's whole strategy,

(10:56):
his whole like weird postmodern media misinformation strategy is like
misinformation on all sides. So until people are just like funk,
I don't like, I don't even have the energy to
believe anything anymore. So it is getting increasingly convenient to
find out that, um, the Russians did everything bad. Like

(11:18):
that's really handy for for me when I want to
decomplicate the world a little bit. It's sort of like
the final season of Breaking Bad, where you go so
many years of these complicated, interesting characters and then no,
it's the Nazis, Like it's been the Nazi, obvious choice,
but I didn't even see them. Yeah, And so there's

(11:38):
a long proud history of Russia gaslighting Americans that will
eventually get into them do a bigger way toier piece.
But for instance, Uh, the KGB. Uh. KGB misinformation campaigns
were some of the first people to put out JFK
conspiracy theories that the CIA was behind the JFK assassination. Uh.

(12:03):
They invented the concept of nuclear winter. Uh. They were
the first people to put out the idea that AIDS
was a government plot. Um. And they were apparently some
of the first people to try and like bad mouth
Martin Luther King Jr. Like from both sides. Yeah, right,

(12:24):
Like they were trying to frame him. They were trying
to see the articles in African papers about how he
was like an uncle Tom and how he was taking
government subsidies or whatever to sort of delegitimize him too Blacks.
But then you had on the other side, I mean,
like you know, they're saying he's one of the few
people who's had active measure campaigns against him from both
the FBI and the KGB. So that's a uh you know,

(12:46):
shows you how bossy m Okay really was. Both both
sides are trying to that's when you know you're powerful, um,
and just another like this this is something that's taking
place on the other side. Uh, something that when we
were covering the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey. Um, we found

(13:09):
like these Twitter accounts that were being retweeted by a
lot of you know, right wing media people that were
supposedly like black guys who are calling themselves Harvey Loote crew,
and they were like, Yo, son, come down to this
store and help us loot it, and just really poor approximations,

(13:34):
like clearly white guy versions of what they think black
people speak, like exactly how you said it. And then uh,
and then we actually like found the four Chan thread
where they were like, hey, check this out. We're like
making it look like there's this looting thing and one
of the uh like racist dudes and the thread was like, Yo,

(13:57):
that's not how they talk at all, man like. Um.
So yeah, anyways, it's there's a whole big, shifting misinformation
tropic sphere out there, and don't believe anything you see,
including this podcast. All Right, we're gonna take a quick
break to hear from some sponsors and then we'll be

(14:21):
right back and we're back. So uh, I did wanna
get back to the most important news story going on
right now, which is how people feel about the NFL
UM And just so, there's been just this outpouring of
hatred and anger. There's a new subgenre of YouTube clip

(14:44):
that is white football fan dousing player jersey in kerosene
and then like lighting it over a barbecue pit and
almost setting themselves on fire because they've over doused it
and kerosene. Uh. And I don't know that, like this
story is just not dying. I'd say maybe sixty percent

(15:08):
of the times that I've gone to the Drudge Report
to see what's going on with the right wing this week,
the headline has been in relation to you know, some
some just wildly unfair characterization of the protest and how
black NFL players hate our flag. Um, So it got

(15:30):
me thinking about just the the entire response to Colin
Kaepernick's protest, and you know, there's this long, proud tradition
of uh, not just like fans, but also the media
being really uh like weirdly outdatedly racist and you know,

(15:54):
unfair towards black quarterbacks to the point that yeah, like
there's something about that position that they just can not take.
I mean, I think we talked earlier this week that
there's like this sort of creepy racial like connotation to
the whole NFL, and like you have these owners where

(16:16):
they're like you know, evaluating players at the combine, like
they like stand up on stage and like lift weights
for them, and it's like these white owners and white
coaches and talking about like different black guys having like
great bodies and great strength and ship like that. Um.
And then you know, part of that hierarchy is that

(16:38):
I think white football fans really prefer for the quarterback
to be a white guy because the quarterback is kind
of the leader who's like telling everybody where to go
and sort of running the whole show. And so almost
the overseer right out there in the field field of

(16:58):
general exact for seeing anyway, saw some parallels there go on.
So every year you will see um like draft reports,
especially if there's like a high profile black college quarterback
who's coming out. Like when Cam Newton came out, there
was all this controversy about uh scandal that by all

(17:21):
accounts had been perpetuated by his father. Uh Like his
dad had like basically asked for money to help sway
where Cam ended up going to college after junior college, Uh,
like taking bribes to be like I'll send my son
to your and that was it was like mostly rumored.
People like don't really know the details, but that was

(17:44):
used to be like this guy's bad news. Cam Newton's
like not like you shouldn't draft him. And I think
we've actually learned since then that Cam Newton's father is
is just a bunch of Russians. Um. But there was
this moment so I I had totally forgotten that Rush
Limbaugh used to be a NFL commentator on ESPN. Nice

(18:08):
work ESPN. Uh, and back in two thousand two, he
came out with this statement keep the Quarterback White, where
he talked about how he thought there was a bias
toward black quarterbacks. He thought that people wanted Donovan McNabb
to succeed like more than they wanted white quarterbacks to succeed. Uh.

(18:30):
And so former NFL quarterback Warren Moon, who is one
of the great quarterbacks of all time, who is a
black man, uh, was like started a support group for
black quarterbacks. And this got some press from people being like,
what a weird, weirdly specific support group, But uh, he

(18:54):
has really found a role like counseling black quarterbacks because
it is apparently like a really psychologically difficult, like challenging
on every front position to be in and I also
just like another indicator that there's a complicated relationship to
black quarterbacks. Uh. Warren Moon started this UH support group

(19:18):
with a guy named Doug Williams, and I was like,
Doug Williams never heard of him. I asked Miles and
Dan before this if they had ever heard of Doug Williams,
and they were like, uh, right that. I told them
he was an athlete there, like a baseball basketball. Uh.
Turns out he was the quarterback for the Washington Redskins

(19:41):
when they won the Super Bowl. UH, and was the
Super Bowl m v P and like had one of
the great Super Bowls of all time. But we've just
kind of deleted him from our memory. Uh. And even
like Warren Moon has been sort of diminished in the
lore of the NFL. Like he he's uh huge, like

(20:06):
passing yard leader, like he he has like some of
the best stats of all time, but you don't really
think of him that way. Um. When war Moon came
out of college, he was basically the best college quarterback
the year that he came out. UH, And the NFL
wouldn't like even let him try out for as a quarterback,
so he started his career in the Canadian Football League

(20:29):
as a quarterback. What do you mean They wouldn't let
him try out. They were like, you can try out
as a running back or a wide receiver, but we
like it was just if he was drafted, he was
like under the condition that like he wouldn't be able,
he wasn't eligible to the NFL, just like he was
basically the person who broke the color barrier. And it
was like eighty four that's how deep the yeah, um

(20:56):
he eventually so he went he went to the Canadian
Football League. He was like, no, I'm pretty sure I'm
a quarterback, guys, right, And went to the Canadian Football
League and like broke all their records and won the
championship for the Canadians, like took over the worst team,
like won the Super Bowl there like four years in
a row. And the NFL was like, okay, I guess uh,

(21:19):
And there was a huge bidding war and uh, the
Houston Oilers got him. That's where he spent the like
formative years of his career. Um and got like a
record breaking contract at the time. And he said, like
that's where a lot of the damage was done like
psychologically to him, Like the first couple of years they

(21:41):
were pretty bad still, um and he just said it
was like so awful, like the way that people treated him,
Uh in Texas, can you believe it? But like he
was saying that even when he was having a good game,
people would be like, man, your dad out there chucking
the ball around like he's chucking a watermelon. Like that

(22:03):
was a direct quote from him, because his like kids
were in the stands and like his kids were like
traumatized by this. Um. So I don't know there there's
sounds like, yeah, support group would be a good, right
support group. Uh. There's a study that also has found
that black starting quarterbacks. This was a two thousand fifteen

(22:24):
study found that black quarterbacks are benched way quicker than
white quarterbacks. Like all other things being equal, there's just
less patients if they make a mistake, Yeah, quicker and
replaced by a backup quarterback, and they are able to

(22:45):
tell that it is like not as justified as the
benching of white quarterbacks, because the teams improve less when
the black quarterback is benched. So when white quarterback has benched,
it's because he really should have been bench and like
the team actually gets better when a black quarterback is benched.

(23:06):
Sometimes it's just because of the coach doesn't like him
or something. Now, Jack, I think it was last year,
but it might have been the year before Cam Newton
came out. He'd been getting a bunch of late, very
rough hits, and he stated that he's if Tom Brady
was getting those hits or any other white quarterback, the
refs would be calling it. But because refs sort of

(23:29):
like the systemic racism where they they assume black people
can take more pain than white people, they're just not
calling the fouls. Is that was there a study on that?
I don't look into it, and I don't know. I
don't know if there's been a study on that, but
I could definitely believe that. I also feel like, you know,
his performance. The last time that there was a big

(23:49):
article about uh Warren Moon being a counselor to black
quarterbacks was ahead of the Super Bowl, when Cam Newton
was in the Super Bowl and they were just talking
about how how far the how far we've come. Now
Kim Newton is like the star of the super Bowl.
But man, when he had a bad Super Bowl and
like it was like down, like down in the dumps

(24:11):
after like losing the Super Bowl, people were fucking unforgiven
tap dancing on his fucking grave. It was. It was
really really ugly because he was a guy who was
really funny and a joy in press conferences and was
always dancing and was just like like a fun guy.
And then he lost the Super Bowl and was sad
and making angry faces, and there were so many pieces

(24:32):
on the internet that were like, a, this is what
he's like there it is now we see this this
angry and then a bunch of you know whatever whatever
code words there was fashionable back then. What's anything to
say even about the foul is not getting called or
the yeah when he was getting laid hits at not
being called, because that bias is demonstrated in how pain

(24:53):
medication is prescribed to black patients. Black patients are like
by a very large margin on or prescribed pain medication
because of that same sort of bias that people have,
like white people just assume black people have higher pain thresholds.
It's fucking crazy. Um, yeah, so they treat us like superheroes,

(25:15):
but they don't give us the respect of superhero. They
can handle pain, they run faster, they hit harder, but
you know, I don't. I don't want to have them
hanging around my team or throw my fucking ball like exactly. UM,
I agree with everything. You just thank you so much.
Do you have something else to say? Um? Yeah, so
that's all I have. I just think that you know,

(25:36):
there's obviously a lot of smoke there, and uh, that
probably has something to do with why a black quarterback
dealing during the national anthem has turned into the biggest
tragedy in the history of like these people's lives. It
leads to a fun tangent that I'm enjoying. Uh, stay

(25:58):
with me because the present then on Twitter is talking
about how the NFL will definitely change its rules if
fans stopped showing up to the games and stopped watching them.
They're getting such low ratings. So the president is actively
encouraging racists to stop watching football. And I like the
idea of racists losing things they like because it's like,
all right, the President said no more football, and then

(26:19):
Steph Curry refused to go to the White House. Alright,
basketball's out. What teams? Can I support? Pittsburgh Penguins? Fuck yeah,
I really hope. I just don't like the Jan Dpper
Sportsman of the Year award this year and then plus
like most hockey teams are like so many Russians. He's like,
you can't just gave me the way. It's like you're surrounded. Yeah,
there was a tweet I was reading was like in

(26:41):
the Great American Divorce, It's like, I love that progressive
somehow got custody of football and conservatives are getting like
Russians and hockey. Right, It's like, who knew that conservatives
were pro Russian? Um Alright, So in the time we
have left in this segment, we're going to do our

(27:03):
weekly check in with the Bloyd's baby. That that should
be our on my own sound. Uh. So we were
checking with the tabloids every once in a while because
the tabloids have been known to break some stories. They broke.
They called that Michael Jackson was six had six months

(27:24):
to live, like exactly six months to the day before
he died. Uh. They knew Prince was addicted to pain killers,
that Russell Limbaugh was addicted to pain pills and to cook,
that Tiger Woods was cheating, that uh, that John Edwards
was cheating, that Kevin Hart was cheating in the ad

(27:45):
a Democratic election too, like they took down Gary Hart
to write and that Swayzy was dying. So let's see
what The other thing to note is that they are
wildly conservative. Um, Donald Trump is, or at least there
wildly pro Trump. Donald Trump is uh, like best friends

(28:08):
with the guy who's like the editor in chief and
main publisher of am I American Media, Inc. Who owns
The Enquiry basically owns all the tablets, like twelve of
the most indisputably terrible people in the world, and they're
all friends and it's crazy. They're just yeah, they're just
having weird dinner parties where they say awful ship. Um.

(28:33):
So apparently it's open knowledge now that Val Kilmer has cancer,
but they knew that before anyone else, so they're bragging
about that. Inquirer gets all the scoops all the time,
and then they just brag about stuff they knew before
everyone else if you want to brag there, like we
outed this person having cancer for anyone, right, But that's

(28:56):
their currency. I guess. Um they sound Kim and Kanye surrogate.
They're they're doing the good thing and bluring her face,
but she is apparently like the best surrogate, like the
luxury automobile. The agency they went to to look for
a surrogate. She was. They said she was literally the

(29:18):
poster woman, like she was on like literature that was
promoting the agency. So yeah, she is like the one.
Uh she I think like had a successful surrogate pregnancy
that Kim and Kanye really stoked on. Apparently Kim was
really stoked on the fact that she was a massive
keeping up with the Kardashians fan. Um, so you know,

(29:40):
there's nothing like I guess maybe they felt like that
makes her like Kim or something like because she likes
to show. But then they're like kind of like interesting
demands that like him and Kanye have like well they're
not like crazy, but it's like eating organic food, like
no smoking or drinking obviously. But then there's one it's like, yeah,
she had to study French in Mandarin during the pregnancy.

(30:02):
Like I don't know if you tell me if I'm wrong.
Are there any studies I suggested if you're studying a
foreign language, your child will come out with that sort
of like no sane ones, you know, yeah, I mean
you should play music, I think is one of the
things I think that wasn't one you can't ship in
there like they do. You remember, No, no, you have
like listened to because one like this ultrasounds of Jack

(30:25):
as a baby like corning turn it up, uh turn
me up in the headphones. Uh No, they're one of
one of the relaxation things they give you for newborns.
Are like things that sound like the inside of the womb.
And it's just like this like loud cacophony of like
it sounds like you're inside like a water balloon. Yeah,

(30:48):
it sounds like you're like it's basically what you'd expect
if you think about it, Like it sounds like there's
like all these loud pipes and stuff like got worrying
around you, and it's because you are like in the
middle of a living construction basically. But at the same time,
I don't I can't speak Mandarin and I can only
I can't help but blame my mother for that not

(31:09):
studying it. Yeah, no, that's fair, that's totally fair. Uh So,
while we're on the subject of the Kim and Kanye surrogate,
uh Dan brought to our attention just want one of
the greatest things we've found on the internet. It sounds
like the Upton Sinclair of our Time, ends of muckraking,
like just hard hitting investigative journalism. What's his name, Sean Blasington.

(31:32):
He's a YouTuber, slash rapper, slash uh truth speaker, like
conspiracy theorist. He does a bunch of videos. Some of
them are just about video games that he likes, some
of them are about music. But his most important work
that he's doing are these expose s that he calls documentations,
and he's got the hot scoop on a lot of

(31:54):
huge scandals that really opened my eyes. And one of
them is about be On saying jay Z's sham marriage
and the fact that they used Solange as the surrogate
for their baby for Blue Ivy. Yeah yeah, yeah, well,
which there are a lot of very sane people who
think that she on on with Blue Ivy. There there's

(32:20):
like a video where she like sits down and you
can see the belly collapse. Uh. Just the the idea
that Solange is the surrogate is just like putting all
conspiracy theories like together. Uh. And and and he was
saying that the whole elevator fight that was captured from
that security camera was over the surrogacy. Right, so we're

(32:41):
gonna actually listen to his one of his documentations. You
never ever in your entire life saw a picture of
jay Z tongue kissing Beyonce, gripping her, filling up on
her breast, or doing anything intimated or gripping her. But
send it to me and I will mail you back

(33:02):
five hundred dollars. Everybody was able to see the surveillance
tape in the elevator, but no one has been able
to hear the audio tape. But that's where I come in,
because I have the secret tape right here. Okay, I'm
gonna put this. This is crazy, this is the world say.
I'm gonna tell you right now, don't say ship because
this is between me and Jack. Ain't gonna say nothing,

(33:24):
and you'll launch you what you're tripping for. I told
you I left baby Blues at the babysitter. Motherfucker. You
gonna tell me the baby said it is? I let
the bleak. Baby said the baby Memphis bleak. I let
don't motherfucker the back. At this next point, you know

(33:49):
this was a bad idea. We should have never let's
launch be the mother agreed to do this here you go,
you dropped your shoes. There you have it, jay z
is so Launch's baby finally hit the gabblcord is adjourned.
There's when you talk about never seeing them tongue kissing
or being intimate. I thought he was crazy at first,

(34:10):
but then I looked and there's not a single picture
of full intercourse penetration of the two of them between between.
I think you just didn't look hard enough. I mean,
he's got to be that. I mean they are a
married couple. All married couples put videos and photographs of
that on the internet. I mean, that's how the wedding ends,
because because everyone needs to believe that you're really married

(34:31):
for it. Also, Jack, you have a child, and I
don't know if you've ever had Have you ever had
a babysitter yet? Have you used a babysitter yet? No? Never?
But the idea that he said you left at the
babysitter's house and I don't even know who the babysitter is.
How often are you leaving your child at a babysitter
that no one knows, like you just called the babysitter anyway,
I'm just trying to find holes in it. I believe

(34:53):
because it is pretty air tight. Other than other than that,
that's the one thing that I'm kind of like m
because I believe that Memphis bleak is the baby shop.
That's his bleak for for people who aren't jay Z fans.
Is like the shame on you rapper from like the
late nineties that jay Z was like trying to make
into a star that never made it. But like it's
like he's just I think it's like stream of consciousness,

(35:16):
like conspiracy theory making this contributes to nothing, but the
specificity of his using uh tongue kissing instead of like
French kiss or anything like that. To me, UH is
a Bismarck Key reference because when he was he went
to his this girl he was seeing Blah Blah Blah's
dorm room. They opened the door and guess what, I

(35:37):
saw a fellow tongue kissing my girl in her mouth.
And I thought, that's a weird way to say that.
And now it has found new life in Sean Blasington. Right,
that doesn't do anything. There's no real connection there. I
just think he listened to Bismarck Key and like I
like that. I mean, he was tongue kissing. I think
based on how elementary his raps are, like, he's definitely
listened to like the He's of the Imperial Gold Lyrical

(36:00):
Miracle kind of MC style. But yeah, I mean Memphis Bleak.
I'm still kind of loving that because I haven't heard
Memph Bleak's name in so long. I'm glad to know
that he has a gig babysitting because he needs something
to do and Jay is still taking care of him,
which is nice. He's still you promised help him out
and he's giving him some babysitting money. Yeah. Um, we're
out of time on the tabloid tip unfortunately, so I

(36:23):
will just have to tell you to everybody should take
a look at Steven Tyler, Jennifer Garner, halle Berry and
Shacks toes. All of their toes are really weird. Because
that's an actual report inside there, right, it's called what
is it? What's that section called Nasty Feet of the
Stars Wow, and by a really anxious person. The caption

(36:44):
on Steven Tyler's feet is uh, the Aerosmith, an American
idol judge can paint his nails any color he wants,
but there's no way to camouflage those terrible toes. So yeah,
and your fucking face, Steven Tyler jerk. All right, we're
gonna take a quick break and be right back, and
we're back right. So uh, for the last five minutes

(37:08):
of the show, Dan, we have a recurring segment called
the Underrated Zgeist Influencer. Uh, and you had sort of
a off the beaten path one. Yeah, this is gonna
sound weird to be an underrated Zygeist influencer. But George
Washington never heard of him, Okay, right, his teeth were
made of wool. Yeah, um, but specifically this guy. When

(37:31):
George Washington died, um, there was a hunger for stuff
about him because everyone knew who was a hero. He
was like one of the first celebrities in America. And
there was an Internet or TV or real news obviously,
and one guy just went around saying, I know George
Washington and his friend, I'll tell you. Give me some

(37:51):
money and I'll tell you stuff about him. And he
built almost all of the myths that we know about Washington,
and like later buried in other books are a bunch
of Washington's contemporaries to talk about how angry and mean
and irritable and shrieky he was, but the stories that
made it to the top where the fake ones about
him being this like really noble, soft spoken, gentle, powerful leader.

(38:15):
And it's just because this guy was like, what what
would be a compelling what do we want to believe
about Washington? Okay, I'm gonna just tell people that's what
it is. And he was like faking diaries and like,
this is George Washington's fucking diary. Give me five dollars.
There you go, I have it. I wanted to a
tour of his house. Come on, Cherry Tree. The Cherry
Tree story was just like some ship he like came
up with because he was trying to fill in Cherry

(38:39):
Tree and fill in some fake diaries. Freaky. He had
a really high pitched voice and and like and like
would is it when he was yelling at people, I'm
not crossing the Delaware in that. For me, the real
real joint is in this is like it's it's influenced
us because we think George Washington is this noble figure
and uh commanding our troops in the war for Independence,

(39:03):
and like all these people who like we're brave and
we're gonna fight. I think about the truth of Boston
soldiers on the American side, who a lot of them
just like fucked off and left, and Washington couldn't get
anyone in line, and a lot of them would just
get bored. And the Revolutionary War, you'll recall, we had
a terrible shortage of guns and ammunition, and a lot

(39:26):
of that was um sad we had to mount down
on our peter. A lot of that was these soldiers
would get bored and start fires with their guns to
cook food on and then just like shoot their guns
into the air, like there's no war to fight right now.
I'm so bored and they're just blasting their guns. And uh,
Washington wrote so many letters they were like, I can't
get these fucking idiots in line. I can't get them

(39:48):
to do anything. I hate Boston. They have a place
called Mount Hordham where it's like a like a common
thing for a red list, red district type place at
the time, and just the idea of the real Revolutionary
War being a bunch of angry, deserting Bostonians firing guns
into the air and hanging out at a mountain brothel

(40:09):
and doing like jackass type stunts. Yeah, I'm gonna start
with musk. Start the cigarette with my musk. Uh, that's crazy.
And so Washington was just like an exasperated parent. He
wasn't like this guy who went through the war like
like the story I had always heard is that like
he was basically invincible and like he would get like

(40:33):
shot thirty times during a battle and like the bullets
he'd walk out of the battle completely unscathed, with like
bullet holes in his jacket. Uh, that that's not true.
I think that is true. I put in my book.
So let's say that part of nice. Yeah, Dan is
a president expert. It's on your business card, right, Yeah. Um.

(40:54):
I just love the idea though, Like of course, like
in the era where there's no way to fact check that,
like one fucking guy could just like turn like the
originary myth of our founding fathers, like on a teers moment,
like just touring around and doing that kind of thing.
Because he'll be doing it for a while and then
Thomas Jefferson will walk up and me like that's bullshit.
I knew the guy had a good run in Virginia.

(41:16):
Let's see what I can get in Kentucky. Yeah, and
I'm sure you get like free beers. She's like, hey, man,
if you buy a couple of rounds, I'll tell you
about the real George Washington. You want to hear the
cherry tree one again, But I've never heard that the
cherry wife. And then there was a guy who, after this,
I think, basically decided, Okay, it's really in America's interest

(41:37):
for there to be like a cult around George Washington, right,
and so then he like sort of raised all these
stories to the forefront. And then Barnum had like George
Washington's wet nurse or something like really claimed to have
the oldest woman alive. It was like just an old woman.

(41:59):
And he was like, yeah, she's George Washington. She breast
fed George Washington. That's the thing that used to happen. Um, Well,
I'm just waiting for death in my circus or whatever. Yeah, exactly. Uh,
that is a wonderful underrated zeygeist influencer. What's that guy's name?

(42:20):
Do you know? No? Cool? Wouldn't it be great if
I did? No? No, no, the president that know. The
guy who told the stories was vladim All right, well, Daniel,
it's been a pleasure having you on. Uh, Where can
people find you? Twitter at d O B Underscore I

(42:40):
n c uh and that's sort of the only place
I want people to find me, Okay, all right, and
uh yeah, that's gonna do it for Monday. We'll be
back tomorrow. A speak U

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