Don't Want No Short Trend Show 9/8: iPhone 14, Louis DeJoy, 'Don't Look Up', Derek Jeter, John Mulaney, Britney Spears, Mu Variant

In this edition of Don't Want No Short Trend Show, Jack and Miles discuss the iPhone 14(?), calls for removal of Postmaster General Louis DeJoy, the new trailer for 'Don't Look Up', Derek Jeter being inducted into Baseball Hall of Fame, John Mulaney and Olivia Munn expecting a child, Britney Spears' conservatorship coming to an end, and the Mu variant of COVID

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of Don't
Want No Short Trend Show. I am Jack. You are
Don't Want No Short Trend Show. There it is. I've
never said my name in this episode, and there never
said your name in trend Yeah, you always introduced me. Okay,
I'm Jack your miles cry. Thank god I couldn't. I

(00:21):
didn't want to break tradition. Trendition, trendition, trendition right now.
That's for our our bush themed series. There you go.
All right, well, let's tell the people what's trending. iPhone
fourteen is trending. I can't imagine why. I mean, there's
not even a third team, so what are what's going on?

(00:44):
They because, apparently, but the next week there's going to
be that big, you know, streaming event, and they say,
you know, that's probably we're going to see the iPhone
third team. But people already talking about the iPhone fourteen
because there's like rumors about its new design. I don't know.
This is just like one of those things too, where
like most of people were not like excited about it,

(01:06):
but you're like, why the fuck is this trending? When
I just bought the twelve twice fourteen training. We haven't
even seen thirteen. What are we doing here? My most
recent upgrade was from the last one with a button
eight eight to twelve, and you know that was a
pretty significant jump. But now they're talking, all right, guys,

(01:30):
I think we're going to get one that has no
notch and no camera bump. And at that point, I
don't give a funk. I don't even know what you're
talking about with the not truly. Yeah, they're like, well, Jack,
what would you say if I told you that this
would actually have more of a notch list design? Not,
in my mind would be fucking blown dude. It's like, yeah,

(01:53):
I have no idea because it's just this part, you
know how, Like the screen isn't complete and like that
part where you're the sound comes out for your ear,
that's that is now, Oh my god, it's not giving
me a full screen. That does make me very angry.
Yeah that's true, that's actually very true. Funk is this

(02:15):
this frame isn't titanium like you're putting the case on
it anyway, But you know, we need we need things
to distract, so uh, like God, like, I honestly hope
at a certain point, like even the biggest Apple fans
have had enough, Like really, like, unless this thing is
gonna summon like a Tupac hologram at will, right, I

(02:36):
don't know. I don't know what else you could do
for me to give a fuck more because I couldn't
give a fuck less. What do I think a success sucks?
Too much? Stress? Um? But yeah, it's just the you know,
from the from the Master of the three one three.
But yeah, I don't know the good iPhone fourteen. I'm like,

(02:57):
I'm finding it with the eleven I got. I was.
I'm pretty sure we peaked with this motherfucker. I'm pretty
sure that that's been that's been it, and we're good.
But I mean four stops to lescence will lead to
us having to replace our phones every couple of years.
So right. That was the other dominating joke on Twitter

(03:19):
was just like iPhone fourteen, They're like my iPhone twelve
and to be like and it's just like all this
like weird glitch ship posting, weird videos and things sucking
up yep, um did joy is trending? Um, so Louis,
it's a weird trend because what happened is the Biden
administration they told, Okay, so there's a military Academy board that,

(03:42):
like the Trump administration had put people on. So that's
like people like Kelley and Conaway, Sean Spicer, uh fucking
hr McMaster And so what the Biden administration said, Look,
y'all need to resign or we're just going to remove you.
Either way, it's a wrap for y'all, um, so figure
out what you want to do. You can either clear
ship out or will clear clear the ship out for you.
And then so a lot of people like, uh, what

(04:05):
about Louis de Joy? What about the postmaster general who
was very transparently fucking up the postal service at a
very critical time and a lot of people are concerned
about you know, mail in ballots and ship Maybe what
about him? Why don't you give him the old pack
your ship or I'll pack it for you. But I
don't know that's I feel. Is he on the military

(04:26):
board or they're just saying that the postmaster general and
they're like, you couldn't replace him, So what's going on here?
I don't know. Whatever, there's there's there's too much going on.
There's too much going on, I guess. But yeah, that's
a valid point I thought about Kelly and Conway and months, Yeah,

(04:47):
I not glad that I just did. Yeah, don't look
up is trending the trailer for the new Adam McKay
movie UM, in which so scientists realized that a giant
comet is headed towards the Earth, they go contact Bruce Willis,
who's on an oil rig. He's one of the best

(05:08):
oil drillers. And then unfortunately Ben Affleck is Bruce Willis's
daughter's girlfriend. Uh. And then they arrive at the space
station and they say at the launching pad and they say,
talk about the wrong stuff. No, So don't look up.
As basically the plot of Armageddon kind of using what

(05:28):
we have learned about how humans deal with those sorts
of cataclysmic prospects, which is they're just like kind of
tired of being stressed out by stuff. So we're gonna
just kind of move move, move along. We're not not
intra not buying what you're selling because it's not gonna

(05:50):
test well with focus groups. So it's a long satire
on that. I was worried when I read the premise
that it would be a little bit one jokey, and
they seem to have combated that with, uh, just an
incredible cast and yeah, what the fun Ariana Grande, Leonardo DiCaprio,

(06:14):
Shallow May, Jennifer Lawrence, Chris Evans and Jennifer Lawrence playing
to like lead roles is like, Okay, that's a Tyler
Perry kid Cutty. I'm not film, Yeah, Gina Gershawn, I

(06:37):
mean it's got everything. It's got everything. Yeah, I don't okay,
I mean I hope it has a has an effect.
I mean that's that seems to be the excited me
the most. Is So it starts off, you know, showing
a some scenes from the movie, and then it's like
from the director of Vice and um, the Big Short,

(06:58):
and then it shows like kind of a silly scene
and then it's like and Stepbrothers and Anchorman and yeah,
bring some of that Stepbrothers flavor to our apocalyptic works
of satire. My favorite part of Stepbrothers. I don't know why.
It's like one of the most morbid parts is when

(07:18):
they're showing the house and they pretend that Will, like
Will wasn't it Will Ferrell who's dead. They're pretending he's
dead and John, Oh my god, I don't know why
of all the scenes. I'm like, ridiculous love of fake corpse,
the board a house showing in a real estate context. Yeah,

(07:42):
that is a true classic. Adam McKay is a super smart,
interesting dude. I don't know if you've ever if you've
ever listened to him on podcasts, He's just he's kind
of an interesting gotta here talk so high hopes. Hey,
maybe we can get him on this one. Yeah, yeah,
I mean he keeps asking a on and I'm just like,
we've got a fully booked schedule or like do a

(08:04):
Taco Bell movie and then we can talk. Asshole, Let's
take a quick break and we'll be right back. And
we're back. Uh. And speaking of people who keep trying
to get on Daily Zeist and we keep turning down.

(08:25):
Derek jet Jet Jet Jetter Jet from I think he's
a cricket player from Mozambia or something. No, he old
Jeter Jeter. He got fucking inducted the Sea Town Baby
Cooper down. He's in the Hall of Fame. Is that

(08:48):
so he got inducted like he? I thought he got
nominator voted in a long time ago, didn't he. Yeah,
but I think this is the ceremony, Like, what is
the timeline on that? Like is it? Um? Do they
just like go and do the induction whenever they are ready?
Because I feel like he got voted in a long

(09:08):
time ago. Yeah. Well, I think because it was at
the beginning of when he was elected to be in
the Hall of Fame, and then I think something happened
in yeah, and then that oh right, um and then
that uh that had delayed things. I'd imagine I don't know,
but maybe there was an induction in. But either way, Um, anyways,

(09:32):
Jeter is actually a really good guy. Uh. My wife
keeps showing up with gift baskets from him that like,
I don't know, like so nice she's getting. Just keep
sending them to the house. I don't know. He must
really like our family or something. Yeah, they're great, and

(09:52):
he keeps and her she you know that he keeps
sending her on these cool trips she gets to go on.
I haven't seen her about three months, but she's a Uh.
John Mulaney is uh. He made an appearance on the
Seth Meyers Show last night, I believe uh and announced
that he and Olivia Munn are expecting a baby. You

(10:16):
know this is right after he announced that he was
getting a divorced from his wife, Like not right after,
but like people on TikTok and other social media sites
said that this was the case, like right after the
divorce was announced, and it seems like they kind of

(10:39):
kept a lid on it for a little while, uh,
for you know, purposes of propriety, um, like not making
his wife feel like shit or his ex wife feel
like ship. Um. But people said he was really funny
on the show. I have not watched yet. I will
watch it after we record this so useless to the listener, Yeah,

(11:01):
but that's what was the other what he's with her,
he lived mind or having a baby, and then and
then but then I think he thanks Seth Meyers or
something that was like another dimension I think of it.
That was tweeting where he was like give you know,
expressing his gratitude to him for he was writing on
the Seth Meyers show for a little while right before

(11:24):
he went into rehab. Um. Well all right, yeah he
said he thinks he thanked him for saving his life.
Britney Spears is trending because yeah, it was like all right, fine, fine, okay,
that's a wrap. You think you can do this without
so I okay, okay, you're so you just want to

(11:49):
let Brittany decide what to have fucking agency over everything
in her life. I was trying to be a good dad.
So he's he's filed the paperwork to end the conservatorship. Um. Um, right,
that was the last thing that's happened, so meaning that
we are well and truly moving into a freer Brittany era. Um.

(12:09):
But like, yeah, his his tone around it was very
much like not copying too, that it was bad. I
was trying to do what I thought was right, not
this was a terrible legal quagmire and fucked up, you
know glass menagerie that I put my own child in, uh,
with no ability to think or decide things for herself.

(12:31):
It's more right, um, even as she was asking for
the right to think an act for herself. Yeah. Uh.
And he compared her to a racehorse. So all you know,
how broads are your honor, They're like, okay, sir, that's
not a he please at least file that in legal paperwork,

(12:55):
don't just screaming at me in the courtroom. And finally,
just to check in with that ongoing story that is
most famous for delaying Derek Jeter's induction into the Cooperstown
Hall of Fame. The COVID nineteen pandemic. I think it's
called that cases are currently three higher than this time

(13:15):
last year. Um and the Mew variant has been found
in every state. UM. So the Mew variant because I
I saw this and I was just like, okay, so
it's gonna be like another variant that's worse than delta,
like and we're just gonna keep getting worse and worse. Also,
how do you pronounce that it is Mew, not MA

(13:37):
or MoU variant? Um? But I don't take more variants.
It is currently not a variation of concern, it's a
variation of interest. They're still like figuring out how it
compares to other variations. But the delta variant was uh uh,

(14:00):
absolutely right, And it's twice as contagious as as previous variants.
So that's the yeah, right. And there's a lot of
number like aside from the the Mew variant, there's a
lot of other things trending around COVID today because the
like they say, more children are making up more than
a quarter of the weekly COVID cases. UM. And on

(14:24):
top of that you have the the other thing with
the MEW variant. A lot of you know, the the
epidemiologists and doctors are like, yeah, here's the thing, Like,
it's a variant, but the guidance is going to be
the same no matter what. So rather than getting all
freaked out about the MEW variants, just know that we
have to continue doing the things we were doing, which

(14:44):
is to get people vaccinated because then it won't be
transmissed as transmissible and allow for more variants to emerge,
which is the real sticky problem there is if you
just let that fucking incubator run wild, eventually a fucking
mon start's going to come out. Um, and that's the
absolute nightmare scenario where we start from fucking scratch. But yeah,

(15:08):
you know that we have to just keep doing the
same things. Uh. Then there's still a lot of people
who don't want to. So this is gonna be a long,
long old thing. And a lot of experts are now like,
this is We're gonna have COVID forever, you know, Like,
but now it's going to be about how we figure

(15:29):
out like how we're able to maneuver it and have
like you know, shots like you would for the flu,
but this is being something more serious. It's yeah, yeah,
so we we'll see. It's just the sticky yeah, put
it in the air. I'm just waiting, not the cod
in the air. A sticky and I the most sticky

(15:53):
icky of them. Um. Yeah. Anyways, that is going to
do it for today is episode. We are back tomorrow
with the whole last episode of the show. Until then,
be kind to each other, be kind to yourselves, get
the vaccine, don't do nothing about white supremacy, and we
will talk to you all tomorrow. Bye bye,