Just Two Trend Boyz In A Zeitilac 1/4: Water, Tim Kaine, Atlas Shrugged, Elmo, 1 Million, De Beers

In this edition of Just Two Trend Boyz In A Zeitilac, Jack and Miles discuss people watering down their COVID tests, Sen. Tim Kaine being among the motorists snowed in on I-95, Aaron Rodgers (NOT) loving Atlas Shrugged, Elmo v. Rocco, the US reporting a million new daily COVID cases, and how "fake" diamonds just aren't the same as the "real" thing (despite being molecularly identical).

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of just
two trend boys in a zeit alack. That is courtesy
of Brian Jefferies. If not, Brian, hit us up in
the chat and let us know who it's from. Otherwise
we will assume it is from the beautiful mind of
Brian Jefferies sprouted like a flower. Oh man, it's to me.

(00:24):
Brian's with that wonderful dungeon family energy. I'm Jack, you
are Miles. It's our first trending episode back. Uh yeah,
that's a good ship. Well, uh, let's let's tell the
people what's trending, shall we. Water is trending. Have you

(00:45):
heard about this stuff? You've seen this? Uh yeah, it's
trending because people people have been basically claiming that, you know,
you can use water on a rapid like test and
get like these false positives. Like, man, these things are
just gonna tell you you're sick. Man, saw false positives
and they're like the makers of it are like, yeah,

(01:07):
it has nothing to do with you putting water. You're not.
You're supposed to use your fucking salie like your nasal fluids.
That's what it's testing for. So when you introduce other liquids.
It's not testing for me. It just fails to function
as a test for COVID. It's not saying that the
so then that led people to be like, you see, man,
it's either the tests don't work or there's COVID in

(01:27):
the water. Um. So, I feel like this is very
American first of all, that we don't trust water. We think,
you know, we would rather be drinking gaitade or some
other beverage with corn syrup in it. And this is
also a conspiracy that allows you to go back to work,
which I feel like it's very America. It's like, I

(01:48):
don't really have this ship. Come on, I'm gonna I'm
gonna work. I feel like, you know, we're corporations to
come up with a conspiracy. Now, I'm not saying that
that's what happened, but I feel like a lot of
time the American populace behaves in such a way that
we might as well be doing what they'd like us
to do. That they're like, nah, I mean look at this,

(02:09):
that you can't trust those tests, you don't have COVID,
Get back out there. Chief. It's this is just so
we I don't even understand, like everyone's like it's in
the water, doesn't because this has been happening all over
the world, like it's not. I mean America, it's obviously
taking up its own energy, but a lot of people
are just being like it's weird. I put water on
it and lip lip, so anyway, good use very precious

(02:31):
test then, yeah, because everybody's like fighting and clamoring for
I was just doing a little experiment. Um yeah, just yeah,
this is a very piece of diet sensitive diagnostic equipment.
It's gonna pour fucking hose water on it. Yeah, you
can't jump to conclusions. I can't trust anything the Internet
tells you because when I dip my computer in water,

(02:52):
it fucking turns off. And so you know, I think
we need to I think we need a congressional hearing
on this water stuff. Thank you. Tim Caine is trending.
He revealed that he was one of the drivers who
had been trapped for more than twelve hours in the
snow on in Virginia. I think there are people who
were trapped longer than that, like twenty four hours. But

(03:14):
if you're not from the East coast, that is like
the main artery up and down the east coast and
it was passing through Virginia as a snowstorm was passing
through Virginia, and places that far south don't tend to
know what to do with a lot of snow in

(03:34):
my experience. But the last time we heard something like
this was an ice storm in Atlanta that had people
trapped or some Sure, Yeah, it was like that might
not be the last time. It just that's that's what
I evoked in my extremely faulty brain. So anyways, uh,

(03:55):
you know, shout out to anybody out there who is
still stuck or or was stuck, and hopefully everybody gets
home safe. Yeah, wild wild ass weather over the over
the break. There's like the tweets from the people in
the fucking like traffic jam are kind of funny to me,
Like it's all just like really humorous. This one person
tweeted trapped on the nine five and a guy bangs

(04:16):
in my windows saying, we're all gathering around a dude
with a phone ten cars ahead to watch matrix reload.
That's awesome. Are they going to like, you know, be
melting snow for water? And uh, probably, I mean that
that would be I'm sure I wouldn't necessarily always be

(04:37):
traveling with a bunch of water, but maybe maybe people
shared their their water, had one of those water trucks
that they just opened up like in a fury road
closed people down. There's also one like yeah, there's also
I see like tweets from like truckers who are like, hey,
I'm a trucker if you're on, like you know, try
and hit truckers up, like we carry food and water

(04:59):
if you need something. Oh that's dope. So yeah, it's
just but it's just interesting to see how much Twitter
becomes like this other, you know, organizing tool. Yeah, things
are bad. Things are bad. It is also very Tim
Kane too. For him to be like stuck on I
don't know. That just seems right to me because he's
like one of the most trafficked roadways in his state,

(05:22):
right yeah, yeah, oh my god, it's big Tim Kane energy.
If I ever. Yeah, he's like, I've been stuck here
for twelve hours and people are being really mean to me.
Y're not. I feel like he would get bullied in
like a state of nature like like that he becomes
correcting people the Spanish pronunciation yeah atlas shrug just trending

(05:42):
because um, people spotted it. I think I think. Actually
he referenced it, called it out as one of his
favorite books, one one of my favorite philosophers and thought leaders.
Aaron Rodgers, Oh my God, interviewed on. So Peyton Manning
and Eli Manning do a like simultaneous broadcast of Monday

(06:07):
Night football where it's just them kind of shooting the ships,
like a podcast overlaying the Monday night football game. But
you know, I think a lot of people watch it
because Peyton Manning is really good at you know, he's
like one of the good guy understands the game turns out.
Um an, Eli Manning is just like a lovable doof right.

(06:30):
But so they had they have guests every once in
a while, and Aaron Rodgers came on and uh, you know,
he talked about how Atlas Shrugged is one of his
favorite books, and uh, it just explains a lot, you know, explains. Yeah,
it feels like when do you think he actually read

(06:50):
it or he's doing that thing where like you gotta
lie about reading like seminal texts to the culture. He
thinks you think he didn't read it. No, this is
what Brian just put in the chat. He said he
actually did not read it even on the Pat mcafew shows,
Like I actually have never even read it. Ah, and
it's just open with people mcpid. Yeah, that is funny.

(07:15):
That's what you did read mind camp right, Oh yeah,
I loved every one of the best, one of the greats.
It's like, huh, all right, let's take a quick break.
We'll be right back, and we're back. Uh And Elmo

(07:38):
is trending? What do we why? What's happening? There's some
there's a clip of you know, I'll just play the
clip because people are just loving this viral clip of
little Elmi asking for oatmeal cookie? Howmost favorite cookie? Elmo?

(08:00):
That was my last one that I don't just did
this one? No no, no wait wait, Almo Rocco says,
and he watched the oatmeal raising cookie racko ck ziacore
not a difference, does he will? You can't add that cookie,
Elmo to eat it was rock gonna let that cookie.

(08:22):
Zone doesn't even have a rock, does not? Wow? Damn bo. Yeah,
so you know, just just ride for that cookie, you
know what I mean? Yeah, that's it's always a yeah,
it's this is just as just a wonderful wonderful moment

(08:45):
of him going after Rocco. Yeah, that that feels very
much like like we're Almo able to improvise a performance.
I feel like that. I don't know, that feels very
authentic to me. That like in a don't like snapping
on their kids right right right exactly, like what do
you even do? Right? Anyway? That's it's it's one of

(09:09):
a number of clips of Almo, but yet like a
listing here that it's in tandem with a conversation on
TikTok about Almo's origins. Okay, mm hmmmm hm. Cool. Million
is trending because there are a million new COVID cases
in the US today. Global record, it's more COVID banban

(09:30):
brank a million new cases today. What the fuck? Sorry,
I'm old and I'm jay z brained. But when I
see a million, that's all I can think of Global
record A millie amillie um? Yeah, or that too? We
did it? Yeah, depend on which frightening how much it's exploded,

(09:53):
you know what I mean? Obviously that's like there's there
was a backlog of tests that were sort of factored
into this number, But that's truly how quickly it's spreading
um and you know, I think it's just just a
we always see these constant reminders, like even I know
so many people that have stayed very safe, and then
you're still hearing about just I don't know, I've I've

(10:13):
now more than ever, I've heard of more people I
know getting COVID, which is I felt like before wasn't
necessarily the case, but I think that just shows how
transmissible it is. Yeah, it really seems that way. And
you know, to this point, it seems like hospitalizations have
been relatively lower on a like per case basis, but
this is again on charted territory, which is very dangerous.

(10:36):
And well yeah, and then like I mean, when you
just think of you know, if if if the overarching
tone is like it's mild, but among a million positive cases,
I'm sure many of those are really severe and I
and even more if they're not vaccinated. And on top
of it, the crunch of like the economy of like
taking out millions of people at a time saying they

(11:00):
have COVID, Like there that's not gonna work to have
class or school or work or whatever. Yeah, and I
just we keep we keep finding ourselves having these tests
of like, well, how do we handle this, and a
lot of people constantly bring up the idea of like,
imagine if at the beginning of they just paid everyone's
bills for a month or two, I just said, don't

(11:22):
fucking leave we got Yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right. Yeah,
it's a it's not great. However, they do have that
thing in their back pocket where they're just going to
tell people they got their tests too wet, and then
they can go back to work, right, right, exactly, Sorry,
you just too much water on that. There too much

(11:42):
water on there. Back off the water. The beers is trending.
There's a survey. I'm resisting the urge to do a
the bears uh thing or something about beers. Uh. That's
that's the old jack, I'm mature, newly rebranding. Yeah. Uh

(12:05):
and then uh yeah, So there's a survey that's been
published in Bloomberg. Uh. That quote shows that synthetic lab
grown diamonds quote struggle to conjure the same emotions as
mind diamonds and de beers. Uh. Is the source of
the surface one of the one of the biggest defenders

(12:29):
of conflict. Diamonds used to be Now they saying, now
we don't do comblic diamonds and we can track all
of it or on the upend. Up now, please don't
look into our history. Don't ask who cecil Rhodes is
if you've ever heard of Rhodesia or the colonization of
Africa anyway, zoom out a bit. But yeah, they're saying
they don't like to talk about these synthetic diamonds. They're

(12:51):
they're they're not the same, even though they're chemically the same,
exact same structure, except they're able to manufacture it rather
than put people at risk and uh, you know, harm
the lives of millions by mining them. Yeah, a woman
always knows miles, you know. That's yeah, yeah, it's it's

(13:11):
truly like this, Like you scratch your head because anyone
I've seen lab grown diamonds before, and I'm like, the
funk would I know? Yeah, I'm like, this ship is
blinging and it costs less. What the funk are we
doing again? Because of this? Like just that's what's wild
to watch, Like a lot of studies to about how
you know, they've always talked about millennials aren't even buying
diamonds anymore. It's like yeah, because they're not worth anything

(13:33):
to us. And also like no one has thousands of
dollars just to be like, yeah there is that. There's
my diamonds for today. So why wouldn't you look at
something that isn't the same price, is shiny to look
at uh and doesn't rely on you know, in money
cases like slave labor abstract Like this really feels like

(13:53):
it would be something that would get pitched in Madmen
as like a woman Always Knows is the like, you know,
a new slogan for de Beers and then like shot
down by Peggy or something. But in this instance they're
just like, well, fund to study that tells people that
there's just this ineffable sense that people have that the

(14:17):
diamond is bullshit, and we'll claim it's scientific. I saw
Bloomberg shocked, shocked that the that they they did this
hand in hand with de Beers, one of the great
extractors of diamonds in the world. Okay Beers, All right, well,
those are six of the things that are trending. We

(14:39):
are back with a whole last episode of the show tomorrow.
Until then, be kind to each other, be kind to yourselves,
get the vaccine, stay inside, wear a fucking mask, don't
do nothing about white supremacy, and we will talk to
y'all tomorrow. Bye. Seven