Sex Crim Out On Good Behavior, Trump Learned What Google Is 8.29.18

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello the Internet, and welcome to season forty six, Episode
three of The Daily Night Guys. Wednesday, August twenty nine,
two thousand and eight. Teama names Jack O'Brien a K
eight six seven five three O'Brian, and I'm thrilled to
be joined as always by my co host, Mr Miles Greg.

(00:20):
There's this place, sun Ocean Avan, New where Miles would
used to sit and talk with you. We were both
sixteen and it felt so right, sleeping all gray, staying
fall nine fucking Yellow Card Ocean Avenue a game by
Hannah Soultist at Soultists. Hannah, thank you. I remember when

(00:43):
you tweeted that man I said this is a go
because I love this song. And also fun fact, the
violinist who played in Yellow Card, he tried to claim
to people that he invented the rock back flood, like
he was the first dude to do a back football stage.
It really fair. I was like, okay, you, I'd be
the first with a violin in a rock band do
a backflip on stage. But come on, my guy, that's

(01:05):
not true. That's a great claim to make. MAA K
was courtesy of Levi Tucker or Levy Tucker probably by Yeah,
I think I got it read Levy anyways, and I
may have done that one before recorded the Supercuser next stuff,
but it's a good one. So you're welcome for the
rerun only the hit. We're thrilled to be joined in

(01:28):
a third seat by the co host of the hottest
new podcast on the Hey Solt's What's On Network? Uh?
The Bechdel Cast is that podcast? Please welcome cateland Hi
a k a. Launder Titanic, which is an anagram for
Caitlin Toronto Launder titan Huh. I have a bunch of these,

(01:52):
so every time I come on, um lab burn them all. Now,
I know, okay, never mind, never mind, let me read it,
but I don't Latin Latin dancer U t I's amazing
are those are courtesy Those are courtesy of my pal

(02:14):
comedian Zack strawynd damn. But I have written a few
of my own. So there's like ten of these out there,
so and more if you want to try anagramming some
of these yourself, I wonder what is mine? A very
strange way, very funny dude and good Latin dancer. Well, Jamie,
my co host of the bacol cast. She drew illustrations

(02:37):
for a lot of the so I'll show see that's
why your merch store so lit. Also go get their
March yea, their March Feminist Icon T shirt. It's selling
better than Kanye West clothing brand. It is the hottest
selling merch on the hay Slits. What's up network merch store.

(02:58):
I don't know if I'm even allowed to say that,
but it's the trade secrets bucket. Alright, Caitlin, We're gonna
get to know you even better. But first we're gonna
tell our listeners what we're gonna be talking about today.
We're gonna be talking about America's consumption engine, our consumer
confidence is at an eighteen year high. H and also
unboxing videos. There are seventy four million of them on

(03:21):
the Internet. So we thought we'd celebrate those two testaments
to just the very acute form of insanity that we
suffer from as a nation. We're going to talk about
more Like Me Who because louis back and Miles is
loving it. Uh, And we're also gonna be talking about

(03:44):
how Woody Allen is doing these days a little twin
me too update. I don't know why I used a
baby boys that was a little creepy. We're gonna be
talking about the president's anti Google rant, gish gallop tastic
to quote Andrew Tea and then somebody who adds tactic
on the end of words. Uh. We're gonna talk seven

(04:06):
eleven finally having its own delivery app, which is big
news for dirt bags everywhere. We're gonna talk about how
I'm including myself. We're gonna talk about how American Land
is actually used. There's a pretty cool article with like
really cool illustrations about what the actual United States of

(04:26):
America is made up of. And we're gonna talk about
a study that found that no level of drinking is
safe despite all these years of you know, us telling
ourselves and being told that like a glass of red
wine at night, it's actually good for you. Yeah, there
you go. Nice. I just wrote that hot off the

(04:48):
presses my mind. Miles. Just throw that postcard down and
onto the next joke. But first, Caitlin, we like to
ask our guest, what is something from your search history
that's revealing about who you are. I just searched for
Ewok Adventure DVD. I don't exactly remember why I searched

(05:11):
for this, but I did, and I think I was
like trying to figure out if if that Ewok Adventure
movie was canon, and I guess if it was on
DVD because I specifically searched for the DVD of it.
Do you have a DVD player? I sure do you do?
You got to these days? You don't have now I'm

(05:31):
still VHS man. No, I I don't have one. Well,
if you if you recall, I'm one of the few
people left alive who is still getting DVDs from Netflix. Oh,
but there's three million of you, I think still rely
a lot. It was some really wild figure like that.

(05:51):
It's probably like people like fifty year older. I'm guessing
I know my mother is definitely one of them. Yes,
that was the thing. Three million people are still getting
DVDs delivered to them from Netflix because a lot of stuff,
you know, like if you want, my mom watched a
bunch of obscure BBC dramas like English dramas, you can
only get that on the DVD. So that's how you

(06:12):
know she watched her like POI row Old school Ship.
I mean the DVDs you have access to basically everything, right, Essentially,
they have DVD. If it is a DVD, I mean,
I feel like maybe there's some obscure things that you
can't get, but by and large, right yeah, I think so.
I don't know. You're the one using it. I'm the
expert here. Yeah, they got every they got it all
pretty much. Did you look on Netflix for that You

(06:32):
Walk Adventure DVD? I didn't. I don't necessarily care enough
to watch it. I just wanted to make sure it
was out there, it actually happened, and wasn't like a
hallucination from the child. Were there too or was there
just one caravan of courage? You know what? I simply
don't know. I remember when it came out as a kid,
I just kind of felt cheated because I was like,
that's the thing from Star Wars. Where's the all the

(06:54):
other the real Star Wars stuff? On my excuse me?
E Walks are the coolest part of Star Wars. They're violent,
cannibal they eat people, and I mean, I don't know,
I don't know, I don't really trust widget. I think
they're vegetarians, are very peaceful. Oh yeah, I would rewatch
the Jedi. They are eating out of a helmet at

(07:14):
one point, and like it's implied that they're they're like
using stormtrooper skulls as like dish. Yeah, their femur bones
and drumsticks. Yeah, which makes me like them more. Yeah,
you know what's crazy? As I pull this up, So
I'm sorry I said widget incorrectly. It's actually Wicked I've forgotten,

(07:34):
and that was played by Warick Davis, who we all know,
that great English actor. Also, Tony Cox played another ewok
named Whittle, and I don't remember Tony Cox. He's the
small gentleman from the Bad Santa movies. Who was Billy
Billy bout Thorton side kid. Yeah yeah, yeah, so gosh
they're out here. What careers? What careers they have? Caitlin,

(07:59):
What is something you think is overrated? I think that
Instagram stories are overrated because one, I don't know how
to use them perfect. This will fit in good when
we talk about Trump musing Google. But also I don't
like that they like disappear and I know you can
save them to your whatever, but I think that our

(08:23):
attention spans are just they're just getting shorter and shorter
and these are so fleeting and I don't know. So
it's the like ephemeral aspect of it that you don't like. Yeah,
like what if I missed something someone posted? Yeah. I
got a very complex relationship with these stories because party
was like, well what if I missed something? Though, but

(08:43):
they overrated. And so I played a soccer game the
other day, brag which one Yeah, yeah, the playing that
last night. Yeah, I was on the field soccer. We
need to get a team going. I know you've been
talking about this, Okay, Well, so I was playing real

(09:04):
life soccer and Jamie Yummy, she was nice enough to
come and watch my game, and she took an Instagram
story of me almost scoring a goal so close but
it was like a good shot and I was like, oh,
I'd like to have this forever, but it disappeared. But
I think some if you have an option to archive

(09:26):
all of your stories too, I think it's on something.
I don't know how it, but it's the shortness of
it that you're a little bit like, yeah, and I
think it's just like contributing to just this cultural thing
that's happening of like no attention spans, as we like
if a video is longer than like thirty seconds on

(09:46):
everyone's like thirty seconds. This Lawrence Arabia. So yeah, I
don't know. I find myself really getting lost in because
they're so short that you can just like tap tap
tap tap tap, and you just it's like learning something
through the matrix where it's just little flashes of imag
Like I think, I just kept up with my friends
child birth and now they have a home and this

(10:09):
person is on vacation and you ate a crambrule a
waffle and the Instagram story to their childbirth. Yeah, that
is very disrespectful to that child. Like that's like you
saw that keep crowning right right, Like, oh my god,
my water broke. There should be a story like that
that that's the next level, right because I feel like

(10:29):
the last big Instagram story that really had got into
culture was that woman who like captured the couple on
the airplane and was like I switched seats with them,
Like we're watching this couple fall in love right in
front of us. Do you remember that? And a lot
of people were like, that's an invasion of their privacy,
But that was like I feel like one of the
times where that format sort of played out in this
this bigger way outside of Instagram. But anyway, anyway, the

(10:50):
big thing I think we learned there is some podcasting
duos actually show up to each other's intermural sporting events. Mild.
I don't think Intermure World Dungeons and Dragons is a
sword whatever whatever. Jackie's is over there like LARPing and
you're like, I don't want to go to I've one

(11:12):
and the Evil King, the Hot Dog guys like you
know that night Elf. I'm like, no, Jackie's guys. Heroin Dealer, Caitlin,
what is something that you think is underrated? The film,
the cinematic marvel Christopher Robin. Really now it's talking about it.

(11:33):
It was really good. I cried the whole time. It's
no Paddington, but thank you, okay good. Nothing is, of course,
is as good as Paddington, but Christopher Robin it. I
didn't know that I had so much nostalgia for Winnie
the Pooh and like that narrative in those characters. But
I watched that movie in theaters the other day and

(11:56):
I could not stop weeping. And it's like there's weird
components of it where like it's not just like a
figment of Christopher Robbin's imagination in this world point right,
but like other people can see Winny po and it
makes for a really weird narrative choice. But setting that aside,

(12:17):
it's a great movie and I loved it so much.
Or the reality of Christopher Robin's life, what do you mean,
because I know we were talking about how it's sort
of like glosses over the fact that the real Christopher
Robin was like hated the relationship you had to the
Winnie the Pooh thing, and how like it caused him
a lot of problems as a child growing up because
everywhere he went people to be like, you're Christopher Robbin,

(12:39):
you must love Winnie the Pooh And he's like, I'm
a grown adult. Gave me the funk alone. You asked, right,
And he like sold his rights to the things for
like a pit and she's like, just I don't want
anything to do with it. I didn't really. Yeah, he
was bully so bad. He literally had to learn how
to box to fight bullies as a child because he
was just constantly being tormented for his relationship to these

(13:00):
fait cats stuffed animals. Um, But that doesn't mean the
movie couldn't be bad. I do think there's a metaphor there, though,
for the death of imagination and Western culture because that
was the value of it. It's like, oh, he has
imaginary friends that he plays with and then now they're
being co opted into actually existing characters in this like

(13:20):
brand universe. So you're wrong for liking that movie, Caitlin, Well,
you know what I usually am. By the way, I
don't want to people you don't know what the Bechdel
cast is. It is where the best take down the
patriarchy one movie at a time with film reviews. Yeah,
so Caitlin should be listened to and respected on all

(13:42):
movie In the movie, does Christopher Robin come off as
like a mentally healthy person? Um? He yes, he's mentally sound.
He's he's tortured in that like he spends too much
time working and he's not paying enough attention to his family.
But seems as though mentally, yeah, he's like of a

(14:04):
sound mental state. Okay, yes, right, I guess I'll watch
this version because yeah, I think when we're talking about
it was sort of fitting into the broader theme of
the Disney universe obscuring the actual history of the people
that were involved in their films. But yeah, and I
mean all of the characters in the Winnie the Pooh universe,
or a lot of them at least could be seen

(14:24):
to represent different mental Yeah, they're like manifestations of like, yeah,
anxiety disorders. Piglet your is obviously depression. Tigger is sort
of like kind of recklessness like tigers clearly manic, right, yeah,
from Rap City the Basement on BT Big Tigger. Okay,

(14:45):
you gotta watch never Mind best for the real heads, Caitlin,
What is a myth? What is something people think it's
true that you know to be evolved? Well, let's say
your vape pen isn't working. Oh, just stop, don't scare
me like that. Wait, do you know that my pen

(15:06):
isn't working? Or you who told you? I just come
into your house and checked out your vas it's working, Caitlyn. Okay,
well let's say that mine, specifically I favor Caitlin va
pen isn't working, which it is not. Um. You might

(15:26):
think that turning it off and turning it back on
again fixes it, but it does not. It's spoken, and
I don't know how it happens that my alright, So
what you're saying is you need a new vape pen? Yes?
Are you smoking? Like weird? Vapes like a like a
weird Duncan hunter congressman. Just like CBD. I can't even

(15:50):
smoke like weed. It's just vape vape weed. Uh yeah,
THHD apparently gives me panic attacks, but yeah, um, do
you wanna play soccer together our anxiety. I've been experimenting
with CBD, the Gateway drug, yeah, because I thought it

(16:14):
would help me sleep, But I don't know, it's broken.
I tried it, like I've done it like five times,
and people like, oh, like you you need to recharge
the battery, Like, yeah, I've tried that. Those things are
really cheap. Though every time I have a battery for
like those vape cartridges, the ship's fucking they die so

(16:35):
quickly or that like you'll screw it on too tight
and unscrewed and it's broken. If you're listening out there
and you make good vape batteries, I'll pay more than
like the ten bucks that you're asking for for something
that would last a little bit longer. And also, guys,
if you were a dispensary and you've got the vape
pen hook up, holler at Caitlin and just giving you
all that good merch and you all this good content
and you can't hook her up with a vape pen battery.

(16:57):
Come on now, come on, bloom farms, come through. We
are a podcast of vape kings and queens. If nothing else,
let's talk consumption, guys, because US consumer confidence has hit
an eighteen year high. This is the number one headline
on Drudge Report this morning, with a picture of Trump

(17:19):
looking like you just shipped himself, but like in a
competent way. And some pushback that we got from I
was supprised to find that there's still some I think
economic conservatives who listened to our show and they were like, yeah, well,
the tax breaks aren't a scam because they're giving people
eight hundred dollars a year. And I do think that

(17:43):
that is true. People like getting money for free, and
they have given people a nominal amount of money. I
think just my assumption is that you know, and like
Bush gave people tax cuts during his presidency and the
economy was solid, the economy actually had a surplus, but

(18:03):
then you know a couple of wars and a stock
market crash later, and you know you needed that money.
So I don't know, nobody's arguing that people don't like money.
But it's the main people who benefited from those tax
cuts are the ultra wealthy. So why why yes, on paper,
sure you got eight hundred bucks some people. The people

(18:25):
who are really fucking laughing their ass off to the
bank are people who are have millions of dollars. So yeah,
sure if you want to go down that road. But
to say that those tax cuts are like, you have
teachers being like, well, holy sh it, now I don't
have to worry about my wages because I think what
in Colorado, Washington teachers are going to strike the first
day already. Let's be real, like that obscures the fact that,

(18:47):
you know, sure these people get eight hundred dollars, but
we still have no real meaningful wages for people that
that That doesn't have to be the thing we pulled up.
It's just a question of the overall health of the
system where people can't pay for their own health care
and an unprecedented amount of the wealth is in the
hands of very few people. But we wanted to talk
about a consequence of this vast consumerist system that we

(19:11):
exist in. So I used to work on a YouTube
channel for Cracked, and you know, I I knew about
all the trends out there, but I hadn't thought about
unboxing videos in a couple of years. And there's this
video that was released by The New York Times that
is just sort of a review of the phenomenon of

(19:33):
unboxing videos. Is made by Amanda Hess and her very
talented editor, and it just does a good job of
making me see the existence of unboxing videos again with
fresh eyes and abject terror, the way that like someone
will see them in two hundred years and whatever museum

(19:53):
people are looking back at us, and when I'm like,
what the fun another civilization comes from? Yeah? What other
countries still exist? Uh So for people who don't know
what unboxing videos are, because she points out that when
you search on boxing videos on YouTube, it returns seventy

(20:14):
four million results. So there's seventy four million on boxing
videos on YouTube. At least a million of those are
ones I've made, so so just keep that in mind.
But she calls it consumerist SMR because there is like
sort of a tactile aspect where you just see them
open the box with an iPhone. The emphasize the peeling

(20:35):
back of that like clear plastic that comes on the
screen of your iPhone. Keep that on as long as possible.
You keep that. Yeah, when I when I first get
a phone, like it's like a when I usually leave
the sticker on my hat, be like, no, leave that on,
take it off. All bets are off. It's that's why
my vay pen is broken. I didn't take I never
took it out of the box, smoking that plastic cover. Like,

(20:57):
why is that woman just sucking on a small rectangular box. Nope,
I don't know. I don't know how to use this
um still in the box. It's also an interesting phenomenon
because I feel like it's one of those I don't know,
it's not necessarily clear what it's replacing. Like I feel
like celebrity and model Instagram feeds are replacing sort of

(21:21):
the fashion magazine and shows like you know, cribs and
lifestyles of the rich and famous. But this feels more
new and like sort of pornographic. She speculates that it's
sort of a replacement for retail therapy, where you just
go to the grocery store or like a big box
store and just walk aimlessly around and see all the

(21:42):
kind of cool colors and things organized neatly, which I
think is definitely a thing. Is retail therapy just going
around and looking at ship or you buy ship. I
think it can be either, but it's just there is
a form of retail therapy where uh. There's actually a
good section in White Noise where he talks about like

(22:03):
going to the grocery store. He's like having this existential
crisis and he goes to the grocery store and just
like all the colors and like all the consumerism is
just like grocery stores are probably America's greatest like invention,
because like people coming from other countries are like, holy shit,
they've never seen anything like all the you know, brightly

(22:24):
colored organized just sensory overload. But because we're I guess
moving away from brick and mortar stores, we now have
to find that sensory overload elsewhere and so that this
may be one of the places we're finding it. But
it's clearly scratching some itch that exists in you know. Well,

(22:46):
I think it's a thing right where our consumer culture,
like the intensity of the consumer culture remains the same,
if not increases. And then on the other end of
that curve is people's buying power is beginning to diminish.
So it might be closing that gap where you might
not be able to afford the thing that you want,
but you can watch somebody else get it and open

(23:07):
it and be like, oh ship, that's what that would
be like. I don't know. It feels like, you know,
it helps you feel like you are that you have
purchased it, or that's when I watched I'm like yeah,
because I sometimes you like opening something very meticulously, especially
if it's something expensive, and you're like, oh, then this
comes out or whatever. But I feel like, in a way,
like we were talking earlier, like if you're serious about

(23:28):
buying something, you'll probably read a review or watch a
review video because you're interested in like, Okay, this is
something I'm probably going to purchase and I'm able to,
so I want to know how that's going to fit in.
But other times, if that thing is a little bit
far off and you're like I'm never gonna buy that,
you can watch an unboxing video and just get the
thrill of that. I don't know, it could just be
like it's like oh this people are obtaining something and

(23:50):
you're satisfying that it's too of watching somebody obtains them. Yeah,
She speculates that it's sort of the ultimate type of
meaning in capitalist them because you're watching the product go
from its most valuable when it's still inside the box,
to like becoming a used product, and so there's like
some meaning or some sort of cultural exchange happening there

(24:13):
that we are sort of fetishizing. But I think it's
definitely true what what you were saying, because Miles, you
worked on a YouTube channel two and you were saying that,
like these types of videos are so successful that you
guys were just like, yeah, let's find doing unboxing would
be like, oh, this format. It just made sense because
you're like, for whatever reason, if you have access to

(24:34):
an item and you unbox it and it's done in
the right way of the right personalities, like yeah, even
bigger companies like yeah, how do we how do we
ride that wave? But I think it also helps for
like you ever been to, like when you're a kid
at a birthday party, like your own birthday, and some
kid tries to open one of your fucking presence, you
know what I mean? Have you ever seen this at
a birthday part? Wait? Birthday okay, anyway, people like other

(25:00):
people birthday. Yes, it's your own birthday, there's some little
asshole kid be like trying to open your present. They're like,
oh no, no, that's not your gift. Not your gift.
You know, it's the same thing where you you get
the rush of like okay, yeah, what was the problem
I already apologize for trying to open was around about

(25:26):
what you know, that sensation where you're at Miles's birthday
party last year and there's a big box and you
just started tearing it open because I don't know, I
guess you spell Caitlin and my l E s now anyway,
but no, I think Caitlin actually anagrams to I don't know.
I watched I watched a lot of unboxing videos, or

(25:47):
I have watched a lot in the past. It's mostly
around yeah, I know, especially like really nice packaging, and
it's sometimes when they hear like, oh this is this
is some good paper they're using, like they use those descriptions.
There's something about that. And also like I started watching
videos of dudes who just swim like in rivers where
people whitewater raft and they just like sort of trawl

(26:08):
the bottom for like lost cell phones, and like they'd
be like swamming the river and found three iPhones, and
I'm like, hell, yeah, you get those fucking iPhones and
some asshole water. Well sometimes right, some people have them
in like good cases, so like they pull them out
and they fully working a couple of the videos like
some people had just lost him. He found like a

(26:29):
new iPhone ten and like a zip block bag and
the light was still on, and he called him and
returned the phone to the owner or whatever. Which is
also kind of fun too, because then you feel you
can also put yourself in the position of someone who's
just lost a phone and like you hope that's how
people would interact with your lost like item. But yeah,
I also just like people fucking combing the bottoms of
the ocean the riverbeds for cell phones and you know,

(26:51):
headphones whatever. Wait till I show you this one Jack
he found. He found a Galaxy nine whatever and a
new iPhone. I mean, it's a person at least grateful
when he returned it. Or were they like, oh chill,
thanks bro, They were like, oh my, thank you so much,
thank you. I mean they were because they were like
I thought it was just gone forever. Because yeah, when
you have you've ever been whitewater rafting. Uh, You're like,

(27:11):
there's if I lost anything I don't have, If you
don't have goggles, there's no way you're gonna get this.
It's been a couple of weeks for me, so I
don't really remember since I last white Water the River
Wild was based on your life. That's how I get
to work. All Right, We're gonna take a quick break.
We'll be right back, and we're back. Uh, I don't know.

(27:41):
I made a little like bubble in my voice, like
it's sound like I was gonna start weeping, but I'm not.
It's so guess who's back again, Louise back. Uh So,
Louisy K did a surprise performance and she asturbated in

(28:04):
front of someone. Shout out to Twitter, where like dozens
of people made the joke. Isn't surprise performances what got
him in trouble in the first place. Doing a surprise
performance without the audience's consent sounds like he learned a
lot solid dead joke. Everyone, well done, Twitter, move on

(28:24):
to the next thing and racism go well. Apparently Louis
didn't mention the fact that he, you know, was in
the middle of this controversy and not really controversy that
he had done this horrible action and was just like
went up there and made observations about tipping waitresses and uh,

(28:50):
servers tips over, servers tip them over like like cow tipping, UH,
and traffic and racism. He was like, racism, that's not
the one with right, Okay, so I'll do commentary on that.
But he did at the Seller, which is the the
venue where I think in the opening of Louise Credit

(29:11):
like that's his What Yankee Stadium is to Derek Jeter
is what the Seller is to Louis c k basically,
so it's he went into the most friendly territory. But
who knows if they said he got a standing ovation, Yes,
that's fucking weird. I don't know. I don't understand that
it's kicked off a lot of stuff because I know

(29:32):
Michael ian Black was sort of saying, oh, it's it's
good to see him get out there after you know,
he's just you know, caught up in this stuff, and
you're like, uh, way to sort of totally mischaracterize all
of this. Well. Also, a lot of the conversations have
been around like how will these abusers, like how can
we reintegrate them into society and how can they redeem themselves?

(29:53):
And it's like, well, first of all, that should not
be the priority. Like the priority should be like paying
attention to the victims, the people like the women who
quit comedy and like their careers and comedy are over
because they spoke out and then they were threatened and
you know, black balled and all that stuff. So like
the focus in a lot of these conversations has been

(30:15):
I'm like, oh, the abusers, and like what are we
gonna do about them? It's turned into aw abusers basically
is what you can distill a lot of that sentiment
down what it's been ten months. Once it gonna be enough, guys,
come on, like what the fuck? Honestly, like, for the
ship he did, he would probably spend more time in
jail than nine months if that went to a trial, right,

(30:35):
and you were like you were like locking people in
room a masturbasing I mean an ideal world, yeah, but
our justice system. But I mean, like if you if
you even took by the rubric of if most of
the time the justice system fails the victims of these things,
even if he were to do that, it would be
more than nine months, so he's actually even doing less time,
just late keeping low. I don't understand. It's been a

(30:57):
whole thing. We've just seen in the last four months too,
of a lot people starting to talk about how am
I going to get back in already trying to sound
out more opportunities for themselves. And I don't think that
redemption necessarily means Okay, you were on time out long enough,
Now come back to your seat of power and wealth
and there you go, when that was the exact thing

(31:17):
you were weaponizing to behave in this manner. So at
the very least, he hasn't even done the bare minimum
of convincing people that he actually understands what he did, right,
he's still not holding himself accountable for what he did
at all. My proposal for if there is any sort
of redemption in these scenarios, and it is your responsibility

(31:39):
to come up with it as a woman, tell us
what have you come up with for people like him?
T J. Miller, Chris Hardwick, Like they should get rid
of all their wealth, give it to like rain or
something an organization like that, getting marooned onto that like
giant pile of trash that's floating around the gyre and

(32:00):
then um live on that in obscurity until they pass away. Wow. Okay,
so that's my idea of their redemption justice corner with
there probably is like enough food out there, like in
the garbage that waste, so much food waste. I mean,
just open up one of those malformed, sun warped bottles
of whatever, and there's probably some kind of nutrients in that.

(32:22):
Our writer J. M McNabb was pointing out that while
it seems like we are giving Louis parole for good
behavior or no behavior, Woody Allen is it looks like
being sort of blacklisted in a good way. I don't know,
can you blacklist someone in a good way? I mean,

(32:44):
first of all, his movies have never really been financially successful,
and so he always relies on wealthy people to be like, hey, yeah,
we'll pay for your movie because it's cool for us
to say we were attached to a Woody Allen movie.
And now that it is becoming more and more kind
of acknowledged that he sexually abused a child, at the

(33:07):
very least that you know, that's no longer a cool thing,
and so he is for the first time since the
year nine one, he is not going to be releasing
a movie this year, which he really tends to turn
those out. But he does not have a movie on
the horizon because he can't. He can't find any back
You can't find any financial backers. Yeah, they said he's

(33:29):
taking time off to look for financial backers, and like, oh, well,
I think that means he's taking time off to find
people with no moral scruples, right, yeah, he's what that is, right, son,
I don't fucking like Gluis. Come on, now, you got
to know this is not right. Going up there and
just like completely ignoring it and talking about tipping is

(33:52):
the worst thing. You can't write it seems very I
don't know, because you could. That's like being like an
injured athlete where you're like, all right, we'll mind me
healed back up and I'm back out there. Nothing went wrong?
What I mean, it's like, yeah, okay, you've completely Yeah. Well,
as we said, we were always wondering how long it
would take from of these people to think that you
get confident enough to be like, okay, let's dip the

(34:14):
tone in and see what happens. I hope that there
will be enough public outcry that he will understand that
no one, I'm certainly not interested in seeing him come
back anytime soon. That they'll that will translate. But again,
you think about all the people that depend on him
for a check, like publicists and Asian thing like that.
They're probably thinking, they're like, yeah, like let's okay, let's see,

(34:34):
maybe let's see if this cash can can can start
generating something like let's see. That's a point that I've
heard made about just in the context of Trump's scandal,
that celebrities are entire industries. They basically have an industries
built around them that are designed to keep their careers
moving forward because lots of paychecks come from that specific individual.

(34:58):
And so Trump has this whole He's a celebrity first,
then a politician, so he has this whole infrastructure of
people who are covering up his crimes to keep the
paychecks coming through. And yeah, I think the same goes here. Uh,
they said, I think one person called to complain about
him appearing at the club that day. I announced too,

(35:21):
it would be like, yo, I'm I'm surprised. I guess though, again,
because it is the seller like specific audience like yeah,
that appeals to gosh, what was this standing is like,
if you don't stand whatever, we'll see. There is a
great list that I found particularly useful going around of

(35:42):
fifty one comedians who never forced women to watch them masturbate.
And uh, there's some great comedians on their one of
our other shows. Uh, A couple of therapy is on their,
Brandy Posey, Barbara Gray, A lot of a lot of
great comedians who you have, Riley Silverman, Sarah just heard

(36:02):
last week Sarah Sefer ashling b O, Jesus and Marrow. Alright,
although I don't know Meryl, he said he was into
some scumbag stuff back in the daylight. And Donald Trump
is taking on Google. He does not think that Google
is being fair to him. This is it's so sometimes

(36:23):
you can just clearly see where he's getting information. There
was a article on Drudge, which is like one of
the places that it's safe for Trump to look because
he knows they will be talking about how great he is. Uh. Well,
they also covered it on a Fox News segment to okay,
so maybe Fox News saw it on drugs can't read
my bad. But it's based on this article from PJ

(36:48):
Media Pajamas Media, which is what's PJ Media. Pajama Media. Really,
I think that's what the guy named his company, so
please take them seriously. It's an American can servative news,
opinion and commentary collaborative. The article's argument has a couple
of logical flaws. It says that Google's top results are

(37:09):
all liberal leaning when you search for Trump news, so
they're rubric for judging whether something is liberal leaning. Is
a like media bias chart that was made by an
like wildly conservative source. Because among those sites they consider
liberal are the AP Reuters USA today like these, Yeah,

(37:32):
but we've talked about this. When you state fact and
objectively what he is doing is bad, they cannot accept
that because it's they that that is the one of
the true bubbles they operate in, or just a denial
that's at work where it's like, oh my god, can
you believe they actually said that this many kids were
separated from their families. That's hate or stuff they're talking
about the AP. You can tell that it's an objective

(37:54):
work of reportage because the writer laments that the site
on which the article is appearing doesn't appear in the
top results for that search. They're like, we're not on there.
So what the funks up with that? So what mej media? Yeah? Not,
as mentioned, pajama media is not on there, so it

(38:14):
might be a conflict of interest. You know what is
on there? That was ninety news and the PJA Media's
logo is like one of those like kids onesies with
the butt flap. Oh my, what the fun that's not true?
I believe it though. Yeah, that someone was that it's
like just idiotic, and it was like, we're serious news source.

(38:37):
This is our logo, a butt flap one es. Let
me just double check that PJA media does every pajama
media just to make sure. Please let it be not No,
it's public Justice Media, jack damn it. Yeah. Originally known
as pajamas Media. Pajamas Yeah, pajamas pajamas media. Wow, So

(39:00):
there you go. Who even sleeps in pajamas like that anymore?
Nobody over the age of six. Although you know what,
I'll I won't lie around the holidays. I like to
put on a matching pajama set. Do you it makes
me feel with her majesty? Uh No, that's not really
because that's a that's a big thing on Instagram, is
like families that all have matching yeah, yeah, She's like,

(39:20):
take that dumb sh it off. But I'm like, it
feels so good. Also, it's too hot anyway, that's a
little fact about Miles likes to wear pajamas during the holidays.
But so anyways, Trump caught this story as it was
being regurgitated by Fox News, and he was piste. He
said in a tweet that Google search engine had quote

(39:41):
rigged news story search results to show mostly bad stories
about him and other conservatives. So the way Google search
algorithm works is basically using the behavior of respected outlets
to tell them which sites people would want to find.
You know, sometimes I don't know. I guess they have

(40:05):
judged that when people google Trump News, they shouldn't give
them results that are Trump opinion. Yeah, well I don't.
I've also noticed too that sometimes they will serve you
ship that is completely not what you want. Like I remember,
like any given political CONTROVERSI all then Google sometimes like
the top stories will come from like the Blaze or

(40:28):
other places like that, where I'm like, well, I definitely
these are not the druids I'm looking for. But yeah,
I don't know. There's not an individual person who is
scheming to give you the results. You know, it's all
an algorithm that can get fucked up and is just
you know, using all the words that they've read in
your email and you know, everything to personalize these results.

(40:49):
So it is weird. First of all, it's just weird
for them to like this entire article is based on
the author googling on one computer, and then at one
point they're like, and then I went and looked on
other computers because the results are personalized and found you know,
similar is stuff. But they don't give like specific details

(41:10):
at all. So it's clear that it's not a very
well fleshed out art. But I think what it boils
down to is that Trump is refusing to understand that
most of the things he's doing objectively comes off as
not good. Right. The other detail that they miss is
they're googling Trump news. News is not like Trump opinion.

(41:31):
It's you know, like a lot of the sites that
they're complaining aren't on. There are actually opinion based sites
and blogs like PJ Media is a blog and it's
not a place that breaks news. The places that break
news are the A P and Reuters and places that
actually pay for reporters to go out and do actual journalism.

(41:53):
So if you want to get right with quote news searches,
then you have to actually learn and adapt based on facts.
Uh that's what journalism is. So I don't know, but
who knows. But you know, I worked at the company
that we brag about to go off that worked primarily

(42:16):
made it their money by gaming Google's algorithm. I like,
my section didn't do that, but they had a whole
like their biggest section of the company at the time
was search engine optimization, and it was all about gaming
Google's algorithm. And it turns out like you can't full
Google's algorithm for that long with bad content because they

(42:39):
are constantly trying to upgrade it and make people like
only able to find the highest quality content. So yeah,
there's lots of smart people working on both sides to
full Google's algorithm and then from Google to make their
algorithm full proof and only you know, returning the highest
of quality information. And Trump's just mad that they don't

(43:02):
have any articles that are about what a boss he is.
And one it makes sense, he's all these other stories
around the White House administration, like they're all reports of
how he's been particularly in a bad mood since last
week and I wonder why as the walls are closing in,
which also brings me another point, because you know, we've
seen obviously with mana Fort being guilty and Michael Cohen

(43:25):
taking a plea deal and all these other things happening,
and then Manafort having another trial happening in d C.
And we found out he tried to make a deal
with Muller and Muller like walked away from it. That
ship's getting very real and we don't quite know yet.
But then I want to also bring up this idea
because Lindsey Graham went on this morning I feel, I think,
Good Morning America, and he was starting to talk about

(43:50):
how Jeff Sessions might be fire able. I mean, he
went last week and said something to this effect that
just basically kind of insinuating, oh, well, you know, the
attorney general actually works at the pleasure of the president.
It's not a lifetime appointment. Blah blah blah. So he
begins eating this a while back. But now like we're
hearing like full throated, like, well, maybe Jeff Sessions doesn't
have to be the attorney general the president has been

(44:12):
raising against his his attorney general. You noticed, yes, and
your your tune seems to have changed a bit on
Jeff Sessions. Why what happened between July and last week? Good?
Good question. When I was a big support of Jeff
being attorney general. He was close to the president. He
up the president when no one else did. He was
a highly qualified lawyer, a good senator, and I was

(44:35):
afraid that when he recused himself, the President was going
to strike out and fire the guy. He had to
recuse himself. Guys, because he was part of the campaign
is now being investigated. But we need an attorney general
that can work with the president, that can lead the
Department of Justice. This relationship is beyond repair, I think.
But Senator Graham, I mean, the only beef the President

(44:55):
seems to have against him is that he's not going
to get rid of the investigation. President finish the second part.
It's much deeper than that. Else, what are we missing, Well,
we won't say on this show, but it's a it's
a pretty deep breach. And here's what I'm suggesting that
he's not the only man in the country that can
be attorney general. He's a fine man. I'm not asking

(45:20):
him to be fired, but the relationship is not working.
To replace him. M please to replace him. Let me
have to replace him with somebody was highly qualified and
will commit to the Senate to allow Mueller to do
his job. So they're saying, get rid of him, but don't,
you know, don't get somebody who's just gonna crush the
mother probe someone who will protect it to But again

(45:43):
they're saying, what change between July when he was like
there will be holy hell to pay if he gets
rid of Jeff Sessions to now being like, well, you know,
we need somebody that the president can work with and trust.
And it's and that's why they're like, what do you
mean his biggest gripe is about this investigation and then
being like, well, there's stuff don't know about. That's why
I'm just pretty deep breach. Yeah, now is Lindsay Graham

(46:05):
if I told you what he did? I just can't
because the president is very secretive and good at keeping
secrets and and I don't know why said it seems
like he has a personal interest now in protecting the
president for whatever reason that it seems a bit odd.
So look out for any grumblings of a little a

(46:25):
g switch. I mean, couldn't it just be that the
Republican Party is fucked. Yeah, it could just be they
could just be like, Okay, whatever, if if it's gonna
go down like this, just try and figure out everything
we'll do. They're just scrambling for survive. It also just
it seems yeah, I don't know. Back then, back then
it wasn't as clear. So in July two seventeen, it

(46:48):
wasn't as clear that the investigation was going to find
all this ship that they were hoping wasn't actually there.
They were saying Michael Cohen was a good guy. But
and now that it seems like there's only one path
for the investigation to go down. The survival of the
Republican Party is at stake, and they're going to do
whatever they can to you know. I mean, at this point,

(47:11):
this has to suck their brand up so bad that
you feel like this should like they just gonna have
to figure out a new party after this. But we
all know that that won't The Pajama Party. Wow, I
am in is that a musical? Let's talk off? Pajama game?
Was that Pajama Jamie jam I don't know, see this
just a house party? Three? Pajama Jamie loftus there. You know.

(47:36):
The Pajama Game, Yeah, by Richard Bissell is a book
by George Abbott and Richard Bissell. Of course it's a book.
It's a book turned musical. Yep. I just remember because
I felt like it was a thing in my high
school that happened and I was like, this looks like
something I'm not interested in. I'm pretty sure most two
word combinations could could be said to be a book

(47:57):
or musical. Yeah, yeah, like musical the pen theory. Yep,
that actually sounds like a self help book. Yeah, alright,
we're gonna take a quick break. We'll be right back,
and we're back and big news. We're dirt bags like me.

(48:24):
Seven eleven has finally decided to launch its own delivery
app seven elevens. I really like their products. Most of
them smell like burnt garbage. No, like burnt bleach, burnt
bleach or whatever that if there's that's like yeah. But
right now I'm a little upset because this service is

(48:45):
only limited to people in Washington, d C, Dallas, or
New York City. So I'm getting on a plane right
now to Dallas so i can use the seven eleven app.
I thought Postmates would would do me in. But if
seven eleven just delivers things, that's a really because I
like a spicy bite. I'm not gonna lie spicy bit.

(49:07):
One time I lost my job and I went straight
to seven eleven Cope and I ate a gigantic spicy
bite with the shitty nacho cheese and the chili that
comes out that weird ass machine, and uh, I had
a I had a vision of the future. I don't
know if it was like a chemically induced hallucination, but
it was great. Listen reminds me a bit of how
I used to be a delivery driver for America's greatest restaurant, Hooters. Yeah,

(49:36):
I'm quite the same. They're not doing too hot right now.
Did you read that story? I did read that story
because our generation kind of sees how weird the idea
of a Hooters is. In general. It's really because, yeah,
I mean, the only way to get him his Daytona style. Man,
they used to not advertise that. I think that's really
the problem. I mean now they do, yeah, Daytona Style. Well,

(49:56):
the reason that Hooters isn't doing well is because I
no longer work there. But you know, did you like
Hooters food, not especially no fried pickles. I don't know
if I had them from Hooters. Do you like fried
pickles in general? That's the only thing I think. I'm like, oh,
they have fried pickles there, but I can't go in there.
Are just it's too far away from me to go

(50:17):
to a Hooters for fried Their wings are fine. Wings
are fine. We all know Wingstop is still the best
wing out there. Please holler at me Wingstop because I
can't stop eating their wings. There's something about it. It's
really need help. I really need help. And that. And
also seven leven, please stop selling spicy bites. My body's
a spicy bites. It's just the spicy hot dog. Oh

(50:38):
there's like the big bite and there's a spicy bite. Uh.
And yeah seven eleven. I mean, I think it's a
good thing if you need things in a pinch that
you can't normally get on Postmates or whatever. But seven
eleven get your condoms and your lighters and your Swisher
sweets and your Listerine strips and whatever you get there.

(51:00):
So I wanted to talk a little bit about how
American land is used. Uh, there's just a really cool
article in Bloomberg Bloomberg apparently has some pretty great online
article designers and articles like for their graphic user interface. Yes,
but it was it was just cool. It kind of

(51:21):
put things in perspective in a way that I hadn't
really understood the country. Like, for instance, I had no
idea that one third of the United States is used
for pasture, and when you take into account land used
to grow feed, it's actually forty one percent of the
country is devoted to raising cattle. Shit. Yeah, oh, between

(51:45):
pasture and growing feed and growing feet of our land, yes, man,
because I look at l A and it just looks
like concrete to me. So I don't know if that's
that holds up. So when like in terms of in
terms of our men toll landscape, you know, there's way
more people living in cities, but cities take up a

(52:06):
very tiny portion. It's definitely the fastest growing portion of
the United States. So forest land is a major category
that I don't know. I like, growing up in Ohio,
West Virginia, even New York, like Upstate New York, you
are constantly surrounded by woods, and that's something that I

(52:30):
don't know. I guess like in movies and stuff, you
don't really get that sense that that's what America is like.
But I don't know, or at least honestly that's not wrong. No,
that's how I get all of my visions of every

(52:50):
place that I've not been before. Egypt is the Egypt
from Michael Bay movies in my brain. Um, and it's crazy.
It's why when you think about like how that contributes
to global warming to like the red meat industry, that
just makes so much sense. Yeah, urban areas make up

(53:11):
three point six percent of the total size of continuous
United States. But yeah, so the prairie thing is just
a good illustration. I don't know. We've talked before on
the side about how dairy farmers are like secretly the
evil empire underneath the surface of America and there's a
reason they control a shipload of the land. Yeah, so

(53:34):
I don't know. Interesting article will link off to it
and footnotes. But also in this kind of a bummer story,
but fun is apparently bad for you. Uh No, So
an article came out that did one of these overarching
studies of all the other studies and like a statistical
analysis of I think it's a meta analysis what they

(53:57):
call it, of all the different alcohol studies on human
consumption of alcohol, and they basically put the kai bosh
on all these studies that are like two glasses of
red wine and night are better for survival and good
for your heart. They said that any benefits to the
heart are outweighed by cancer and ship damage liver damage.

(54:22):
So well it's big business too, you know. I think
that's pot two billion dollars. Yeah, you're not gonna put
that thing to bed, right, They're given people in money
to be like, hey, look out for big whiskey and
all that. But wait, so this study you're saying it
completely debunked all that ship are just saying while those

(54:42):
things may be true, it actually doesn't acknowledge that like
drinking does have any negative effect on your physical health. Yeah,
they're just saying, what when taking all of these different
studies into account, if the question is like should I
or shouldn't I take this drink? The net it's a
net negative on your health, got you? And that's their analysis,

(55:03):
like based on you know, looking at all the studies
that they could find that we're scientifically My grandma drank
beer every day and she did a d one years
old ship. You need to get in touch with these motherfucker's.
I need to get in touch with her. If somebody
John Edwards crossing over with John ow me Long Island Media. Yeah,
what's the secret? Um? Well, I just realized why my

(55:25):
vape pen might be broken. It because I'm vaping alcohol. No,
no dipping it out. It's cool to see. I'm done
using plastic straws. Caitlin, it's been a pleasure. Where can
people find you? Listen to you? Follow you? You can

(55:47):
follow me on Twitter and Instagram at Caitlin Durante, which
again anagrams to Latin dancer U t I for anybody
that just rearrange those right. You can listen to my
podcast with the Beachtel Cast right here on the hay Slits.
What's Up Network? Uh. We talked about the portrayal and

(56:10):
representation of women in film and how it's usually terrible,
and you can follow that at Bectel Cast on Twitter
and Instagram. What's into this episode? This week? We are
releasing Crazy Rich Asians. Yeah, next week will be ten
Things I Hate About You. A lot of good stuff
coming up, right, right? And is there a tweet that
you've been enjoying? Oh? Yeah, Well, speaking of the Bactel Cast,

(56:33):
my co host Jamie Sorry, amb but um, she just
tweeted I believe yesterday. Um fellas if your girl did
not turn into an eagle and fly out the window
mid coitus, she did not come miles Where can people

(56:58):
find you? Follow you? What's tweet you've been in? Joe?
What if they turn into another thing and it's not
an eagle? Okay, don't I don't make the rules. They
them's the rules. Oh yes, I'm at miles of gray
on Twitter and Instagram. A tweet I was really liking
is from at booze Monkey. Rachel is the display name

(57:21):
says people who order fahdas and restaurants just want attention,
and isn't that the truth? Ruth, Because you hear that
sizzling platter, You're like, oh ship, yeah, where's that going?
And I'll never order it though it seems like too
much work because you're assembling. Yeah, I guess I'm so
lazy that even to put the loose pieces of meat

(57:41):
and bell pepper onion onto a tortilla and then eat
it feels like a lot of work. It's all I guess,
It's all contextual. Sometimes assembled for you. I'm guessing, well, well, no,
it depends if I go to the one in North
Hollywood where they know me. I walk in the door
rings and he goes one second and he just pulls
out my spicy bite with the cheese and Chilian. What
do spicy bites sound like? I don't know. I just

(58:07):
walked through the seven eleven like I'm having a spicy bite.
Y'all look at me, but yes, shout out to all
the fahita eaters out there. Fahitas are a great example
of American consumerist innovation because they were just like, how
the fun do we sell more fahitas? And they were like,
oh what if we made them sound cool? They're screaming
through the restaurant, And that ship worked on me. I

(58:30):
used to always order fa uh used to when I
was like younger like, and then I fucking grew up
and then I was like, my food is talking now.
So wait, Jack hera a heater hand reader reader. She
should not the best in bids for nothing. Guys, you

(58:53):
can follow me on Twitter at Jack Underscore O'Brien. A
couple of tweets for you. Minerva Zimmerman tweeted at Grumpy
Marshan tweeted, you know why everything this isn't a joke.
This is just a good point. You know why I
quote everything tastes like chicken. It isn't everything. It's just
all the animals that have dinosaurs as ancestors. Technically they
all taste like dinosaur. Keep that in mind. Hey, where

(59:16):
did you find that tweet? What do you mean it
was mine for me today? Was it really accept? I
keep that in from Miles of Gray? Uh? Alright? Second

(59:38):
tweet from the ditch Pony at Molly seven and tweeted,
so what's deal with the pubes? We've all been shaving
off and saving up since middle school. I don't know
about y'alls, but my pub barrel is nearly full. Wondering
what the plan is? Man? So that was something old

(01:00:00):
and something new. Yeah, the plan is get barrel number
two out. Yeah. Yeah. Wow, sorry for totally not listening
to It's amazing. I'm always because I'm always scrambling desperately. Wow,
that's amazing your homework, Jack. We need to stop spending
time together because out of all of Twitter, the millions

(01:00:20):
of things that were tweeted over the last couple of days, well,
you know, why because I think before I even started
talking about it, I gave a long winded description of
how you had a half a fried chicken and then
went into that and you probably tuned that out because
that's all I was talking about when I got an office.
That's true, I was like a tree. Look, if you're
looking for our tweets, look no further than at Latin
dancer U T. I scrambled up, Man, I want that

(01:00:42):
has to be at it's not that handle. Yeah, I'm
getting right now. You can follow us on Twitter at
Daily's that guys. We're at the Daily's like guys on Instagram.
We have a Facebook campage on the website Dailies that
guys dot com or we post our episodes in our
foot were link off to the information that we talked
about in today's episode. The footnotes are also in the
formation about the episode. In our footnotes, we all for

(01:01:02):
link up to the song that we ride out on. Uh,
you know, let's do something just purely because of the
artist name. It's not often that I look at an
artist's name and I get a good chop. So this
is a track called John Cage from the artist Ross
from Friends. That is this artist's name is Ross from Friends.
It's more of a you know, like electronic kind of

(01:01:24):
dance track. But yes, you know they've got a little
little beat to it. And again it's I guess you
can have like mad pretentious song named Winer. Artist's name
is Ross from Friend and not even wants friends. But
I just know that Ross from Friends, Ross Geller is
his name. Maybe John Cage is a reference to the
Mortal Kombat character and not the Johnny Cage. Yeah, I

(01:01:48):
think Johnny Cage is a reference to John Cage. I
don't know. See, it's hard to know. It's hard to
know who knows. All right, we are going to ride
out on that. We will be back tomorrow because it
is a daily podcast. We're talking about them Huck or

(01:02:10):
rock or h m m m m h le with

(01:03:16):
sometimes that you are able to check sometimes step through
how he will go through with the day. Sometimes there
you are, he will go to check sometime when you
pa some copings that to you all p chee. Sometimes

(01:03:40):
step through hell to w some copings that to you
all people check sometimes m h spear range like your page.

(01:04:26):
He will go to you with you sometimes at you
you are parkable EFFERTI sometimes step through or he will
go to you with you nay. Sometimes at you know
you all Parka will do EFFERTI. Sometimes step with day,
sometimes at you all parable ifty, sometimes step through hum problems,

(01:05:03):
some tupted the bot, sometimes speed or film

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