Shaqdilla, How To Fight Seagulls 8.8.19

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hi, Hello, it's the Internet, or maybe it's not. Wherever
you listen to this, maybe listening to your car. Maybe
you're listening on a commuter train, subway, or some other
form of public transit. Maybe you're at the gym. Regardless
of where you're listening and where you're listening, I want
to welcome to season ninety four, Episode four of The
day lee Zeitgeist, a production of Iye Herit Radio. This

(00:23):
is a podcast where look, we take a deep dive
in America's shared consciousness, uh, subconscious all the kinds of
all forms of consciousness, higher consciousness, lower consciousness, every and
everything in between, and say, just off the rim a
big fuck you to Coke Industries and Fox News. Okay,
that ship is trash s way, get it off the airwaves.
It is Thursday, August A, two thousand ninety. My name

(00:46):
is Miles Gray, a k. Hey, it's just Miles of Gray.
Then hot Taste though through on the daily Zank. Guys.
You know that is the Fox News. Okay, and there.
I wish there was more, but there's not, and we'll
leave it right. There's coming in support. Thank you so

(01:08):
much too. At Max Saws three nineteen Dennis Spliff Jr.
For that a k um one of the few people
who understood the song I was referencing when I say
just for the days, So keep those aks coming and
then I'll have another challenge Friday, so you'll have the
weekend to get your ideas. But I digress. It's time
to get to my guest host, someone who is an

(01:30):
a one day one who has been holding it down,
holding the showdown, holding me down for a long time,
and whenever I need somebody to sit across from me
and guest coast guest co hosts been co pilot this ship.
It is my honor to introduce the scam got us herself,
Miss Lacey Mosley. Hey, y'all, it's lazy lastly, OK, scam
got us a k A scamming everything is what I don't.

(01:56):
I can take it like a pro one. You won't know.
So with grow, I'm a comprom got your fadlers jumping
like a disc that can't be at some Chris go
and all you gotta say is lazy gulls. Don't say
my government to the cops. Oh wow, that's kind of me.

(02:20):
I wrote that. Now, Yeah, earlier when you were working
like you're like, oh the socket to me, I was like,
oh did somebody send you something? And I should have
known you were you were in the last I want
to take you back that album be missing misdemeanor, Elliott
shout out to a queen. Yes, also that album. I
can't talk enough about it. I will, I get I

(02:42):
get a little choked up actually thinking about it. That
and then Caro not his remix of Socking to me. Yes,
pretty much any case? Not. Um, Well, you know what, Lacey,
We're thrilled, yes to be joined by a hilarious comedian improviser,
someone who is actually celebrating their comedy anniversary pond this
day with us, which I consider a great honor because

(03:04):
I mean, you've soared to great heights if you were
here after just three years in comedy. Please welcome our
guest Pulvi. Oh my goodness, High that was amazing. That
intro was fantastic. I believe you are a scam goddess. Yes,
um what am I going to get that free trip

(03:25):
of that vacation rental place? So you are? You just
got about seven more installments? Okay, yeah, you got to
finish in right. But I thought if you said once
I do the first payment. What first you said? Just
trust me, it's it's gonna be tightest. Just give me
the first payment and then you can come check it out.
We're three payments in now. And also the mono rail
to the yea, yeah didst So glad you brought that

(03:51):
up actually, because that's why you haven't been able to
visit the properties, because the monorail is being worked on.
But keep the payments up because if you stop the payment,
than everything I have to Okay, yeah, I remember you, right, Yeah, Okay,
I'm sorry, I'm yeah. Oh yeah, these goji berries. My
skin has never been dryer. Um. Well, anyway, we're gonna

(04:16):
get to know you a little bit better. But first
let's talk about what we are we're in discuss today. Um. Shock,
I'm just saying this right now. He might be worse
for Papa John's than John Schnader was. He put out
this video. I don't know what the funk is going on.
I don't know what this idea he has is. But
we'll talk about this apparently new genius idea from Papa
John's that will get them out of the gutter. Um.

(04:37):
We'll also talk about the Smithsonian m acquiring a very
important piece, and we'll discuss that with art historian Lacy Moseley. Uh,
momentarily because you also, among other things like vacation investment opportunities,
you're also an art collector. Um. I can't believe you
actually got me a bank Yeah, banks for fourteen dollars,

(04:59):
I think, because what was it destroy Yeah? Yeah, it
got shredded. Yeah, this one was shredded, like I know,
it looked like it was in a paper shredder, it
was like, and then taped back together. But you say
that strip is from that piece? It absolutely absolutely well, y'all,
I've made it so, and Lacey will tell us a
little bit more about this other specific piece. We'll also

(05:19):
talk about a little feud going on between AOC and
Mitch McConnell. Uh, Joaquin Cashtro just just go off, Joaquin.
Do what you do cause a bit of a commotion
on Twitter, and many other things, including a scam involving guacamole,
which I feel like Lacey you might be interested in
this one of course. Yeah. So but first, Hi, what

(05:43):
is something from your search history that is revealing about
who you are? I looked at Marxism yesterday and I
forgot what it was Like, I was like, which man
with the beard is this? Yeah? Which one is it?
And I like, I just when it comes to like
and political theory, I can get mad about stuff that's
happening today, but I like, don't know, like Marxism versus

(06:07):
like you know what I mean, Like I mixed them
all up? What was you looking it up for? Were
you just like saying at home? Literally was like, what
the funk is Marxism? And went like how does it
different from commun I was on the bus. I think
I just like saw I don't know Carl Mark somewhere
like it's probably like a tweet making fun of it,
and I was just like, do I understand this fully?
I wish more people did that. I wish more people

(06:28):
took the time to hop on the Google do a
quick Google before they started talking smoke, you know what
I mean, Like they're probably all busy driving their actual cars.
I just feel like so many people get on Twitter
and talk about things that they don't know, and it's
like we got a whole free internet. You just go
to Google something real quick. Welcome to the new era, though,
where everybody thinks they know everything just because it's a

(06:49):
search of way. That's that's enough to enable people's like
pseudo intellectually. Yeah, the main problem is that they don't
know where to go to look for the answers to
They just like pick whatever source agrees with it on
my side to me, yeah, Tickipedia, come on, come on, Trickipedia.
It's what I say it is. And truthfully, everything can

(07:13):
be a fact if it's just believed for long enough.
That's true. That's actually what I learned. She said it
a lot. You have false facts, and you have That's
why you have something called a false fact, because if
you just say a statement as a fact for long enough,
people will start to believe it right then, and then
it is the truth. Yeah, I'm just no, I'm just

(07:34):
thinking of that business presentation you gave to me, which
over and over says say it with me, this is
not a scam. And we said it over and over.
She's like, you might think it's too it's too good
to be true. Three bedrooms with DOC access for a
mere one thousand dollars in a Ruba. This is not
a scam. Say it with me, and knowing that it
wasn't a scam and being fully convinced, and then you

(07:56):
were crying to me and then like everybody left. Right now,
I'm like, no, I I guess on this, but not
before you handed out your Venmo and that immediately. Oh really, yeah,
you're saying it's bullshit. Right, Well, I'll just tell people
that dollar seventy five is not worth it. Okay, they're
just trying to get your money. Do you have U's overrated? Okay,

(08:20):
this is gonna be I don't realize how many listeners
you guys had before I thought about this. And I
mean this in a very specific way. But oh, okay,
she's amazing. I know, I know, I know, I know
she's amazing. She's a philanthropist, she's inspirational, her story is fantastic,
but she doesn't know about science, and she's enabled a
lot of like bullshit peddlers. Dr Oz is full of ship.

(08:44):
The entire medical and like scientific community is against him.
He had to like testify before the Senate um. She's
like Dr Phil Well, he's like a PhD. And but
his thesis was on something totally different and he hasn't
practiced psychology since two thousand six. She gave Jenny McCarthy
a platform to talk about anti vax like she gets
she like helps start that. But a Yan is an

(09:07):
older black woman with large breasts, so she is she's
qualified to do what she does anything. Yeah, if you
want to give advice as an older black woman, I
would have to get a breast drop to have larger
breasts so people could cry in my books. And that's
really I don't tell you something that's still it's a
moment that still sticks with me. But I fell asleep
on a plane one time and we were like landing
and I fall asleep on the trade table and this

(09:27):
older black, big bosomed, older black woman was sitting next
to me and she woke me up with the warmest
like just a hand rub on my back. And I
still think about that when I'm loner. I know what
I shoulder blades. Yeah, it was good. It's like all
we can do it, like right, you know why? And
she'd be like, you know this releases um stick door fins. No,

(09:48):
she was saying like like like between your shoulder blades,
there's there's some kind of activation. I don't know. This
is probably not, but I believe her because she has
large enough breasts. Okay, they they were they would. I
feel kind of bad for the small titty grandmother. That's
a really hot take, but I understand specifically the aspect
of the take that you're talking about platform because she did.

(10:10):
Like Dr Phil has been yelling at about if you
want to get off, Correg get off, and Dr Ozz
is like he's an actual medical doctor that is selling
people fake fat loss pills and like other horrible like
they don't do any research into their guests. He's like
if a medical doctor started being like an Instagram thought.
Basically there are, but there are Instagram thought medical doctors

(10:32):
and they're like more legit than doctors. Doctors. I naked,
but I know science, Like doctor is wearing a white
coat and then like some little swim trunks underneath. Like
it's me yeah bo Nike Town when Nike Town used
to be a thing with Robin and I was star struck.
I'm not gonna lie, I was star struck when I
saw Dr Phil. I don't know why. I think I'm

(10:52):
a lonely midday TV person. I mean, obviously I'm not
defending him. This just means there was an era in college.
I remember, like you know when like in high school,
you never watched daytime TV because your asses in school
and then when you start going to college, like you know,
your schedule is a little bit more and all of
a sudden, like Ship, I could watch TV and I'm
watching motherfucking Dr Phil. I would watch Bob Brass episodes

(11:14):
before it was like all on Netflix. We had to
find them online where oh you just go on YouTube. No,
we like we've got stuff that. Like, it wasn't just
on YouTube. We had to like download it. And I
like how it sort of shook you are It was
a whole system. Legit to be shook about that because

(11:36):
I got in trouble in college for pirating like the
pirate Yeah, like the seventeen kids. I got arrested. Everybody
heard about it. He came after me. I squeezed my
way out of it, cried a little bit and whatnot,
and I was like, I'm most ship. But what happened
was lime wire was lime wire. If someone else is
downloading something that you've already downloaded it, technically is you
downloading it too? So it happened on the school WiFi

(11:57):
and they called me, and why the funk? I get
bosted for Carrie Underwood before he cheats and I was like,
you should be like, that's not me. I had this
paranoia where I was like a drug. I had this
paranoia where I was like whenever I was like driving
and listening to music, I was like, I really hope

(12:18):
that I don't like get into an accident and like
die and then they like figure out, like what song
I was listening to when I died? I was like
that one. Justin Bieber album was good. While they take
your body away, you should have like a medic alert
bracelet that just has whatever the explanation engraved. It's like,
despite what this may look like, just so you know,
this album was actually a pretty good offering if you

(12:40):
compared to some of his other work. It's going through
a rough time. It was a gift, okay, but that's
my that's my overrated. I love Oprah in all other ways.
I think she's very inspirational, but she just needs to
find like a medical science expert that is not her. Yeah,
well guess when you're that rich, you know what I mean,
you don't even you don't even exist on earth anymore. Right,
that's wrinkle in Time, just somewhere nice. Connection wasn't underrated underrated. Um,

(13:09):
the TV show The Doctors Grad's Anatomy. No. Um, this
is goes against everything I just said. But like spite,
I think it's underrated. I know my therapist and I
are working through mine, but I think it's been very
helpful for me to like get work done. It doesn't
last long term when you're like life, but I'll give

(13:31):
you a good kick to like get ship done. Spite
is the ambitious cousin of Petty. Yeah, it's a hard
working cousin of ye. Can we get that right? Thigh
s is them on Facebook. My Facebook of Little Banner
still says, let petting his fuel your success. It's amazing,

(13:54):
is great, but it's not even like shooting on people.
It's like yeah, yeah, you don't actually do anything. Yeah yeah,
you just like the best What was with Beyonce say
the best revenge is money or something? The best success
is the best revenge is success? Yeah yeah, but that's yeah,
that's how I feel. Like. One dude will do something
shitty to me and I'll just apply to like six
comedy festivals. What was the last time you let spite

(14:17):
fuel you? Um, it's been applied to comedy festival. It's
been a minute, It was a lot last year. Honestly,
I think it has driven my comedy because people are like,
I don't know, whenever people are like, like, you're not
or not not. Many people have said I'm not funny,
but a lot of people are just like shitty to
you in comedy for like no reason or for like

(14:39):
random reasons. They make up you're a woman and you guys,
can you hear it? Maybe? But you're also attractive? That's
that is the thing? Am I gonna get arrested now?
I'm not a stammer? She speaks the truth. Yeah. I
remember people telling me when I was doing comedy in
New York bars like, oh, we better be prettier than

(14:59):
you are fun me. I was like, what then those
people now work for me? You don't give them jobs,
very specific jobs to rinse out her empty soda cans?
Don't They better not be sticking when they go in
that recycling camp because it will attract check Yeah? Thank
you Louis Um. Okay, well I'm just thinking, yeah, despite thing,

(15:21):
I can definitely get behind too it. Like I remember
a lot of breakups fueled some of my greatest creative outputs,
Like I would make music or write music and like
or write sketches and do other things. Like I remember
like Funny or Die had just come out within months
of me being destroyed in a relationship, and I was like,
I'm about to fucking destroy this website. Uh, And I didn't,

(15:42):
but it was very good to motivate vote motivate me
and gave me like the kind of tunnel vision that
only adderall used to. This is why I say, like,
like people always say like, oh, men get better like
within relationships, and I'm like women get better too, it's
just after we're like we like break up and we're
like I'm gonna learn I'm gonna get on dual lingo,
I'm gonna learn piano. You have so much free time

(16:03):
now that you're not emotionally babysitting yeah, a man child. Yeah,
but wait, so what did your therapist say? Like why
dould they ever say? Spite is like not good because
it like consumes you and then you're comparing yourself to
other people and over sort of stuff, and like long term,
it's going to burn out and it's like not gonna
be good for you, and it's gonna like sabotage your
own career and make you feel really oh damn yeah,

(16:24):
and then you just like victimize yourself and that's like
self sat Anyways, Well, yeah, it's true. I mean I
think at a certain point, right like, if we're trying,
if we're putting so much emphasis on something external, right
like to prove some other person wrong, then the fuel
of your engine is going to be corrosive over time.
You know what I mean? I think because again, your

(16:45):
true power is understanding that all your um, your validity,
what you're worthy of, and all of that comes out
of an ability to recognize that you, yourself, is very powerful.
And then the second you consider a person outside of you,
now you've completely seated that power to something outside of you,
not depends on something outside of you. So you always
need something outside of you to recognize your own potential yourself.

(17:08):
If you can start off by saying, let me let
y'all know what the funk I can do, because if
I'm just the best version of me, y'all are fucked. Well, yes,
it's by my tapes you give your power away. And
also another way of putting it is like no one
will ever give you closure, right like you will never
find that outside people are always like should I like

(17:30):
him again? And should I do this? And it's like
it doesn't matter, like, don't rely on what you think
their reaction as well? And also this, why do you
need somebody who already doesn't know who the funk you are? Really?
You're worth? Really? Why do you need their opinion on
top of them already demonstrating to you that they don't
know your worth or who you are? Why need then
to then explain to you who you are to get closure?

(17:50):
You don't need it. You don't need this person, I
will say as a petty caveat um, I don't necessarily
I don't necessarily have speci ific people that I'm like, Oh,
I hope that they see the things that I'm doing.
Is just something in the back of my head that
I'm like, you know, my eggs boyfriends Mama, one day

(18:11):
she's gonna be able to close her eyes without see him.
And I had a Lady Gaga, But I don't check
on her, and I don't know where she yet, and
I don't think about her often. I just eat at
the I just eat at the Papa does that she
works at every time I'm in town. Yeah, I didn't

(18:31):
realize I need more train sauce right now, and don't
look around. Um, finally, what's a myth? What's some of
people get wrong? Okay? This okay, this is a plug
for my ship. But I have like a comedy science
web series called Dirty Science, and I did my second
episode on race because there is no scientific definition for
race for like many reasons, including the fact that all

(18:51):
of our ancestors, like the ancestor, the most recent common
ancestor of all humans alive on the planet, lived like
three thousand years ago, so it's like we're all like
way more closely related, and it's more of like a
continuous spectrum of like different like physiological traits um that
you can't like you can't define any race by any
specific group of traits, right, Like there's no, it's too continuous,

(19:13):
right right right, So it's literally just used for slavery.
Of course, it's like, well, how do we put people
in buckets? Oppression? How don't about this and we'll call
it a race? But we're first, like they started with
other stuff that wasn't working as well. Okay, what about
like voice, like how high your voice? And one guy

(19:33):
was like, no, not to own people, all right, back
to did you start? Did you study science? Yeah? How
could you tell? I'm guessing it sounds like the intersection
of your interested science. I'm actually currently probably getting kicked
out of a PhD program right now. Do too much comedy?

(19:58):
Oh wow? We what'll be working on? I'm getting im
biomedical engineering? Um, and that's what I did my undergrad
my masters in as well, and then I worked in
a biotech company for two years and I moved down here. Yeah,
so you really got no sense trying to get in
a comedy. I know, you know how fucking mad I
am at my why do I love this? But hey,
but exactly, you're following what feels good, right. I think

(20:19):
if you feel good, you will be successful. That's Miles
is tipped for the day. We'll be back with the
IATMA right after this. And we're back and Shaquille O'Neal,
you know, he's uh, he's been doing some work with

(20:41):
Papa John's ever since the original Papa John was just
ran out on a rail because of his you know,
racist hot takes. Yeah, I mean you don't even call
him hot takes, just fucking racism. I don't even know.
It's just like stale ass racism just like too much sugar.
Racism just delivered to you in thirty minutes or less

(21:01):
or less. Um, it's called Twitter, and it's actually thirty
seconds or less. But so Shack put out this video
on his Twitter. I'm not even gonna play it because
it's just it's exhausting. Um, it's meant to look like
like Shack, I'm in a public job. So he's all
whispering ship and it's the most obvious ad I've ever seen. Right,

(21:26):
but again, okay, let's pretend Shack, the largest black man
ever is in your boarder. Although I was just imagining
like how big the iPad was he filmed on it
because his face was like so close to it, and
that's such a big thing. I think you're just like
a giant screen five and older selfie. Hold, it's so close.

(21:47):
I'm like, y'all just put an arm out. I keep
telling them the right or if you ever get an
older like rideshare drive like a lift or uber driver,
everybody got the low angle murderer face shot. Yeah, I
gotta give class too. The elderly. What if it's not
because the elderly, but but they're basically dead. Um, what
if it's not because I'm too close to that. Let's

(22:08):
let's kick that. Let's call that nine. Honestly, it's like
sixty three. Yeah, that's when you still were around for technology,
but you missed you missed the selfie w I just
like being like in my like technically now are approaching
my mid thirties, where now I'm like kicking the can
down the road of like what I think is old
because now I realized too. When I say we say

(22:30):
about like Bloomers or gen Xtras on the show, they're like, hey, man,
we're still cool. I'm like, yeah, you probably are, but
that's me the same way I hear like like I'll
meet some gen Z kid and they're like, yeah, it
was five when you were talking about this thing you're
talking about. When I turned twenty one, I was like, damn,
like how to teenag's are no more like? But when

(22:50):
I turned and I was like, Okay, now I hang
on to you so deeply. Every ounce of your drink,
like coconut water is regular water, Now wash your face
with it. Just like I'm lucky. We all got that
that that nice melanie in our skin. I think we're
gonna stay. But I'm trying to back it up. I'm
doing moisturizeres on top and creams and injections. So you

(23:12):
got the backup hard drive and time machine and iCloud
running back every day. I will start injections soon. But no,
I don't go to Angela bast You doesn't even go. No,
she does. She have worked, honey, don't tell me that. Dude.
Men are so dumb. Okay, literally, like this guy was
talking about this girl and he was like, her lips

(23:32):
are so beautiful, and like those are their injections. No, no, no,
I have pushed back on that because I'm pretty good
at spotting obvious. Uh plastic everyone. No, No, Angela Bassett though,
if you look at Angels, she's not sucking around. She's
not her Her lips didn't get it like big or anything.
She's just her face has remained subtle. She probably went

(23:55):
to whoever is doing the Kardashians. She got a very
subtle you know what I mean. It's anything, It's like
so move okay, hold on. The Kardashians are like way
more obvious. I was trying to talk about Papa John's
I just forgot that. I'm like, where the funk are okay, okay, Shaquiline.
The point being, despite that wonderful everyone's lit as flastic

(24:17):
surgery and as convincing Lacey not to get plastic surgery. Um,
yeah you're beautiful. Yeah yeah, I'm going to be like
robotically beautiful. I'm I'm gonna be like her, like her
just the voice. Eventually yeah, She's like, no, you don't
need to see my face. I'm the character of this
city is an experience. Squil dot A dot C dot

(24:39):
I dot okay, Dan Shaquille O'Neill have worked on or not?
Here we go? He has I mean a little deep
set lines, but I think you know that comes with age.
But he was so in this video, he's saying he's
at this secret board meeting. He's unveiling like a secret
new or like this new thing and you don't know
what the fun is going on, just like remember papada.

(25:01):
So he's saying he's pointing to a thing on the
table and they're calling it a papadia. And when you
look at it, it looks like the shape of a
case of dea, you know, like but it's basically a
folded and half pizza cut like a case of DIA.
But also they spelled Papadia p A p A d
I A instead of Hell. You know, I think maybe
just because of the previous leadership at the company they

(25:23):
didn't want to venture into. I don't think they're gonna
appropriate it without calling it. Yeah, I think you're doing
a white appropriation of it, which chills me. The racism
is still going on because if you goes steal the
V and put the put the put the A in there,
you know what I mean. But the thing is, I'm
more upset that it's a motherfucking folded in half pizza

(25:45):
just cut different. But even then, but because we live
in the age of reboots. Okay, we rebooting Cinderella, we
rebooting Little Mermaid, we rebooting Pizza wanted all donnut reboot
of the Pizza d I don't even yea again. Could

(26:07):
be great, might not be will never know. We're probably
gonna eat it one night, I will never know, Like, oh, really,
do care about your health? Oh? I don't know. I don't,
but I have. Yeah, I love talk about Here's my
main issue with the video though, certain angles of people
like Shaquille O'Neal is in this video angle of it

(26:31):
makes me feel like I know what it's like to
have sex with Shaquille O'Neal, and I don't like that,
like a man on top of you, like, and I
don't like It's like it's like POV from a woman's
perspective of what she hates. It's like the only porn
category that's not been certain nightmare POV, porn. No, But

(26:51):
then you've compared it to like to like that generation's
like selfies. I don't think about my dad's selfies and yeah,
that's what it looks, that's what your mom does, what
your mom saw forever. Welcome tonightmare, smooth Lacy. Let's move
on to a bit of a dream. Okay. Beyonce, she
is in the Smithsonian Portrait Gallery now in the permanent collection,

(27:14):
also snaps for her Yes, and more importantly, the woman
who took the photo, right, isn't she like one of
the youngest photographers. It's a woman or man? It's a man.
He's he's one of the youngest photographers to yeah, he uh,
and I think he is the only black man. So
it was that one. Okay, Yeah, with the like the

(27:34):
amazing star sunburst crown. She's wearing, and there was a
little bit of internet backlash basically because they were which
I thought was dumb, Like I was reading on scene
looking at the trolls because it's like, she doesn't deserve
to be there, and she's not historic yet and what
is she a doctor? What did she cure? I'm like,
it's the art museum, y'all. Beyonce art. She literally walked
around the art Would you have so much ship in

(27:57):
the museum anyway? From people like you don't even know
right what is she? Okay, I'm trying to think right now,
like people who are in there that you could probably like, yeah,
what the fund is that person doing in there? Don
Notts has a portrait there? What then is he doing
in there? No, I don't know if he does, but
that just feels like the kind of ship that would
be in there. Hold on, I really just can't want
to see. Okay, there's Bob Hope. Look if Bob hopes

(28:21):
in there, Beyonce is definitely in there. Okay. Lena Horn, Okay,
you can put her in that category. John Brown Meteor
of the South, I mean, a historic figure. There's people
like fucking Kelly Slater. Come on, man, he's a surfer.
Beyonce's can be in there. Y'all relax, Please take a
second and just relax. First, I want you to have
like Kelly Slater's fan base comeback that even then, I'm

(28:46):
not even saying Kelly Slater shouldn't be in there. It's like, what,
who gives a funk? Like right, if they're like Kelly Slater,
great fucking surfing, that what's the problem then the polarizing
person for people because you either lookogetically yeah, well don't
even just that. I think it's mostly that Beyonce has
reached a level of work ethic and just astounding success

(29:06):
that you either look at her and you're like some
deep insecurities like I could never and so you're like
fuck that, or you look at her and you're like, damn,
I should try. And so that's that's me. I'm like, oh,
I get up every day and like, if I have
a productive day, that's my Beyonce hours. That means I
had a day from start to finish where I did
a lot of ship And I'm like, Okay, that's how
Beyonce live. Every day. Okay, let me try five out

(29:32):
your workout and eating an apple saying you're hungry, saying
you're hungry, then maybe a little bit of lettuce, so
you know, go to several jobs, having like three children
in a flower garden, growing a child from the earth,
hiding the child, like making sure no one ever gets
to lay eyes on your seed. People the twins very rarely,

(29:54):
but I understand that because y'all tour Blue Ivy up,
so I wish she wasn't gonna give us the twins.
It's like Beyonce is like the opposite of what Kim
k does with her kids. Kim kads like give me
my little cute baby and put on the maine. Do
they make pasties for baby's? Like? How much longer can

(30:18):
I pass off my child as Japanese like kimonos to
be popping being like, oh, I came up with the
one legged cats suit. Okay, Flo Joe, we got we
We didn't one legged diaper. Anyway, Let's move on to
some other people that ain't ship Mitch McConnell um. Recently,
I think over the weekend or yeah, there was a
photo that came out on Facebook with a bunch of

(30:39):
fine young men who were choking and groping a cardboard
cut out of Alexandria Kasio Cortez UM and they're all
wearing Team Mitch t shirts at like, I don't know,
some kind of event, and she called him out and
she's like, is this what you pay your campaign staff
to do? Like, is this is this sort of the
ethos of the Mitch McConnell campaign. Um came back and

(31:00):
they clarified these are just high school kids and were volunteers,
but this is this was the response that they gave
was that this is from Mitch mcconnaugh's campaign managers, saying
the media is using the image to quote, demonize, stereotype
and publicly castigate every young person who dares to get
involved with Republican politics. These young men are not campaign staff,
they are high schoolers. Team Mitch in no way condones

(31:22):
any aggressive, suggestive, or demeaning act whatever, just a fucking
boilerplate ship. But the essentially of like, look, they're you know,
boys will be boys, you know, right, Relax. Here's the
crazy thing about it is, think about having just such
a nasty ass, gross ass following like a base that's
just the most deplorable, disgusting human beings that even when

(31:43):
they do something that is wildly inappropriate. You can't even
just be like that was wild, that's not what I support.
I didn't know they were doing that. You gotta be like, look,
boys will be boys. You know, creeps will be creeps.
But but those are my that's my fan base. So
I can't insult them. I have to uplift them and
then in the same token say that they do not
represent me. But I can't piss them off because I

(32:06):
need them to vote for me. Feel like you just
become like a shell of a person, like let whatever
morals the like crowd there or attracts you or whatever
is like it just lets you fill it up. That's like, yeah,
that's like rapists for Mitchell Connell. Look me as Mitch,
I'm not doing the rapes, right, He's like, the boys
will be boys. This is the thing actually clapped back
pretty significantly. She said, quote boys will be boys? Is

(32:28):
that the reason why you've chosen to block the Violence
Against Women Act two? It prevents dating partners with records
of abuse and stocking women also an early warning sign
from for many mass shooters from obtaining a gun and
just sort of like, right, it's this sort of mentality
right that that's what got Brett Havanaugh confirmed of this
idea of just being like, you know, when it comes

(32:48):
to white young men, they can be boys. You know, uh,
you know they're only seventeen or whatever. But you know,
if you're you're grown, asked man, you should have known better.
Why are you intimidating the police? Why are you play
with in a park. There is like there are studies,
well actually this isn't their role in this now, um,
their studies I'm not adductor Okay, well the book one, um,

(33:14):
their studies that show that like, uh, first of all,
like with the whole like police brutality thing, their studies
that show that like most police departments, it's like overall
are like mostly Caucasian, and they have an inherent bias
that they think that black people are stronger than they
actually are. That's where they like the animalistic like all
they attribute more strength to like children. So it's like

(33:35):
combined those two things. Yeah, and even with women, that's
why black women don't get prescribed painkillers is often because
maternity or maternal mortality rates are insane for black women. Yeah,
like the whole black woman's trope of being a strong
Black woman has really started to be such a detriment
to us, Like even like Black Girl magic, like we've
just met magic like special and worth worthy of love,

(33:56):
and they were like no magical, Yeah, must you doing it?
Or something like oh well, what do you mean you
can't make five dollars a month work some of that
black show magic like that that the resolve of somebody
is not meant to say like, oh, that's a greater
excuse to continue to not get advantage. Continue. Yeah, yeah,

(34:20):
you make great art out of it. Just keep doing that.
I mean, you got your Beyonce portrait in there. That's magical, right,
she's wearing a crown. But this image is like like
I just looked at it and it's pretty disturbing. Like
one of them is like choking her and smiling. Yeah,
and these again, you know, this is the attitude that
people have just you know, boys will be boys, but
this is boys will be boys is the most toxic shit.

(34:43):
It's it's not saying no, let's we need to actually
begin to um have an evolution around like what we
consider like what is acceptable masculinity or what masculinity even
is or means sucking insulting to boys like monsters will
be monsters, Like yeah, but I mean that's always been

(35:05):
a constant threat, is that, you know, women are taught
to protect ourselves from men, and if we're not doing
enough to protect ourselves from men, then like if the boogeyman,
the literal boogeyman comes and gets us, and that's our fault.
But also, I just don't understand why Mr couln't just
come out and say what they were doing was inappropriate.
I'm sure they're young and immature, but it's still not okay.
It was more excuses, yain. He literally tried to defend

(35:27):
their actions, did not say that their actions were wrong
anywhere in there. He just tried to remove himself from
their narrative by saying that they don't work for him,
right exactly. And they said it was a non school event, um,
And they said the school they went to, they were
aware of the photo circulating on social media, and this
matter has been addressed with the students and the families involved.
It's not even like it's like, well we talked to him,

(35:48):
it's not publicly saying no that that's obviously ridiculous to
all be in therapy because they all little fucking criminals.
I remember when George Bush had his fan are down ship.
I'm from Texas and I used to like raise the
whites out of George Bush's eyes and everything before Donald Trump.
And now look at George Bush and I'm like, damn, yeah,

(36:10):
still still know, but now now by comparison George. But
just like y'all said I was gonna be the worst
president in history, and look at her now. But no,
Trump hasn't taken what depends right, because I mean, you
can have this debate all the time. There's there's a
certain aspect of what is happening, like out in the
open versus like the open assault on our rights that
involved with Yeah, that's why there's a little bit of

(36:32):
revisionist history to look back at George Bush. But don't
get it sucked up. I mean, he started a fucking
war that completely fucked up an entire section of earth.
But again I get it, I don't. I don't mean
to take the wind out of yourself, because yes, obviously
Donald Trump is a fucking terrible president. But no, no, no,
I'm I'm I'm saying that as a jump But we
used to like a raise the little eyes out and

(36:52):
stuff as kids, but we weren't like grabbing George Bush's
cut out crotch and choking him like well and then
also two but this is this goes on to sort
of where we're at two, where again, just like with
Brett Kavanaugh, we have there are men that are rising
to positions of power, that are behaving in a certain
way that we're trying to say, is actually not acceptable
for people to hold these kinds of positions. And then

(37:13):
you have these young people who are presumably engaged in
politics or pretending or just want to troll people of
color or whatever or Lives triggered the Lives with their
team Mitch gear Um, who are sort of engaging in
the same thing that we're like, no, no, no, this
is something from the pastor trying to also like what
a fucking boring ass team to join, Like I didn't
even know they had those shirts like pick another like

(37:34):
hate filled person who's like more active than yeah, you're
not even like yeah, he's effective, but you're not even
on a fun team. But that's the whole point though,
Like he's a grim reaper and like that's chill because
his neck looks like lunch meat. That's why they didn't
put his face on it. So UM moving on though,
because this is another sort of indication of where we're at. UM.

(37:55):
Joaquin Castro, who is Julian Cashrow's brother UM and campaign manager,
tweeted out UM a list of people who are basically
maxed out donors already maxed out donors to the Trump
twenty campaign. This His tweet was sad to see so
many San Antonio's as twenty nineteen maximum donors to Donald Trump.
The owner of Bill Miller Barbecue, owner of the Historic Pearl,

(38:16):
realtor Phillis Browning, etcetera. Their contributions are fueling a campaign
of hate that labels Hispanic immigrants as quote invaders and
has you know, all this information down that says, you know,
uh so and so Mary Hewitt retired, or Mary Barrett retired,
Lynn Lawrence Jack Lawrence Corps. So it's all these places
and where they work the right blue up and we're

(38:37):
basically saying, like you're doxing these people. And this is
no different than the hit list that the shooter in Dayton,
Ohio had. Now, first of all, we'll get this, we'll
get to these point by point. This the reason this
information is out there is because when you make a
fucking campaign contribution, the Federal Elections Committee there they have
all this information and it's publicly available. So you can

(39:00):
understand because there's transparency and who is contributing to campaigns.
This isn't they didn't hack some fucking database. Also, y'all,
if you ever this is a great tool for anyone
really interested in politics and where money is going. Check
out open secrets dot org. That is a website that
compiles a lot of this FEC information and you can
just search by candidate. You can search a name, you
can find out if your boss who they contribute to UM.

(39:21):
Because the whole point is this is publicly available, so
it's not about doxing. This is this is a completely
different thing. Also, imagine supporting a political candidate and needing
to keep it a complete secret. Well, I think that's
the thing people are saying. They're naming and shaming these Trumps,
these people who donate to Trump, So you don't so
then you acknowledge that it is shameful to support a

(39:42):
president who is so openly in race, who's so openly
racist and discriminatory and inflammatory. No, it's I think they
view themselves as victims. They're like, then the Antifa is
going to come after me. Like I dealt with someone
who like was a friend and then I found out
she's like she's like both sides and it's like uh um.
And she was like, well, we're afraid. You're a comedian.
You're going to talk about it, and I am uh

(40:05):
And she's like, we live in a place where there's
like Antifa and stuff and they're gonna like target us
in our jobs and like whatever. And it's like got jobs,
We'll get on Twitter and yeah, I'll take that money
that you're donating to like a bigot. Well yeah. And also,
I mean the idea again, there's a lot of creating
this fake threat. Oh you know, like you're saying the
anti foot people they're gonna come for me. The real
threat of physical violence is coming from the right. That's

(40:26):
that's all there for you to see. But again, to
create this this sort of narrative of being a victim,
then you have to create this threat. Now this is
where it got fucking wacky because old Doju don Jr.
Went on Fox And started running his mouth about, oh,
this is no different than a hit list, you know,
I've seen what these things do. I see you know
what's going on with the Joakian Castro craziness and going

(40:48):
out a list. I mean that list sort of screams
like the Dayton, Ohio shooters list right when when a
radical left wing politician was pulling at about zero percent.
Does this for either attention and or a call to action?
It's pretty scary. I mean that was the same thing
that the dat in Ohio shooters. And people shouldn't this nonsense.
This is a list of forty four people from San

(41:11):
Antonio who contributed, So he's not necessarily saying go and
do something dangerous to these people. It's perhaps, but people
are stupid again, Like, just because a list is a
list doesn't make it the same as another list. We
have to my grocery list isn't a hit list, like
what to destroy the court? Why have to Two points

(41:34):
to that to counterpoints. One is is that this list
is including people who do own and run businesses and
financial starving. Like if people who are liberal are people
who just don't believe in the racism and the bigotry
and the murder that's been incited by our current administration,
if they don't want to support your business anymore, then
it's a wonderful opportunity for them to starve you out financially,

(41:54):
especially if what you're doing is contributing to hate groups,
and in a in a city that is a majority
Hispanic city, exact, especially when we know now that these
hate groups are actually emboldening people in these specific city
these cities, especially to kill people of color. So one
that is a list that's actually helping people starve out,
people whose whose money is going to hate I absolutely
want to know if you're funding hate groups, I will

(42:15):
stop eating at your establishment, I stop buying whatever you're selling.
And then also I know deep down that these Republicans
feel such a deep responsibility for what happened in Dayton
and for what happened to know Passo, because otherwise they
wouldn't be using these shootings as a political tool to
act as if one liberal act is the same as

(42:38):
a Dayton, Ohio shooting is to make an emparable comparison
to these events. Basically you're saying that this is a
liberal person trying to incite violence in the same way
that a right winged person did. They need equivalency to
try and sort of relieve themselves of any guilt. But
to make that equivalency is therefore stating that it's true

(43:00):
that the right wing really did have a lot to
do with these murders. Yeah, and I think again this,
you know, like what he's pointing out to, right, is
because San Antonio is a majority Hispanic city, you should
know again who your money goes to. Right. If you're
if this is your community, then these people who own
these businesses have the people should know. Oh yeah, I'm

(43:21):
operating in your community, but I'm also invested in your
destruction too. And this is the thing. You're the people
who you support, especially if you are maxed out at
this point. If you're the meaning I'm giving everything I
can in this cycle already, that means you've co signed
everything that has happened up until this point. That means
you support every single fucking thing you saw. Everything is said. Yep,

(43:42):
I'm maxing the funk out now. I'm not gonna wait
a little bit and see where I've landed. You're saying, not, no, not,
I like this ship. I like this ship. So when
you say that puts Republicans in danger for being on
this list, how right? Because if being a Trump supporter
makes you a pariah because you are basically a racist.
That should tell you something about what your support means,
because that's called society. Letting you know where the rest

(44:03):
of where everybody else is at where it's like, oh,
this is how you operate. Yeah, that might that might
isolate you a bit because we actually don't support this
agenda and don't think that you could you could look
at the situation that's happening in this country and say, yeah,
I want to continue this, you know what I mean.
And there's another aspect too, of like when everyone's takes
are sort of like, I mean, this is so bad.
They're naming and shaming people Like I said before, Okay, good,

(44:26):
so you do know it is This should be a
thing you should be ashamed of, right because I don't
see any other There are people out here who are
wholeheartedly you know, uh comm List supporters, Bernie supporters, Elizabeth
Warren whoever. They don't mind that you know who they are,
because there at least they can say, look, maybe the
candidate might not be perfect, but what they sort of
stand for to me, I'm not ashamed of that. If

(44:47):
you can't do that with your candidate, then that should
tell you something. And again it's this this whole sort
of self victimization thing. Again, it's just it's so transparently, like, oh,
I mean, god, we got to figure out a way
to to sort of make we need a moment where
all the eyes aren't on us and on somebody else
for being you know, the bad guy. But I think

(45:08):
that's all like that's all tied in. Like they I
think they're like naming and shaming things, Like they do
not view it that way. They think that they are targets.
They think that they are fighting their fight, like they
if you talk to these people, they think that they're
like they're they're like being attacked and it's a situation
where like the entire country is against them and they're
like fighting for their own rights. Like it's the same.

(45:29):
It's we like we view our actions the same way,
but there is an absolute truth and they're just like
on the wrong side of it. And I and I
also think that what he did when he compared Joaquin's
list to the Dane Ohio's shooters list is what you
said is right, is that they were like kind of
telling on themselves by like acknowledging that that caused that.
But I think they're also like taking the steam out
of any of these lists, right, so if like it

(45:51):
happens again, and then they're like, oh, well, we don't
know when it's going to happen, like like it could happen.
It happened on like the left side, they made a
list and nothing happened, but like on the right, you know,
we don't know when it's going to happen again. Yeah,
that's not even a list, it's letting the community know
there are people who are who are benefiting from your dollars,
your hard earned money, and are again are invested in
your destruction, and you should know that. I just think

(46:13):
that the right is so afraid, um that there is
going to be a war. I think that everyone is
starting to have a fear that they're going to have
to atone for the sins, for their all centuries of sins.
And the simple fact is, and we keep trying to
tell people, is that everybody, every minority, every person of color,
for the most part, is really just trying to live.

(46:35):
There's no concern with becoming the master race that white
people have. We don't have that. And to even call
Antifa something like a group that somehow would be an
adversary to the clan or to Nazi organizations, when the
truth is that they're anti hate groups. All of these
groups are motivated by anti hate, by peace, by freedom,

(46:56):
and your groups are motivated by hate. Right, It's like,
look at your feel look at the fuel on your engine.
We wouldn't exist without you because we are trying to
stop you from doing horrible things to people that are
completely unwarranted and unprovoked. It's so like, weird what people
will do when they fell back into a corner, like
they're like they're really they really are just like trying

(47:17):
to hold on to like the like the fact the
whole make America Great Again thing is such a like
it was such a great slogan for them because it's like,
remember the fifties when nobody was allowed in here, Remember
when milkshakes were cute and white Like it was just
like it's like they they they're they're white knuckling, and
it's so obvious and everything is so triggering. But now

(47:39):
I feel like that's kind of part of the reason
that they're so good at recruitment is because of this distraction,
Like they're telling everybody it's not what it is. Like
people are so afraid of being called racist, and it's like,
I have racist thoughts. It doesn't make me like racist,
you know, because I'm like, my brain is dumb. I've
been conditioned, like you know what I mean, Like you
have to like unlearn all of these things. And I

(47:59):
think what a she said. She had a speech where
she talked about, um, how much we need to like
on our side, we need to love and to have
an open space for people who want to come back,
and she had to beleeve for them to come back.
It's not it's not too late. What We're not gonna
compliseing the light. Um, But she like the fact that

(48:21):
she she recognizes that there are people that need a
space to come back and that you can't just like
fully cancel a person, but you can cancel ideas. Like
I think that's very important. And I think that's the
danger of like cancel culture right now, is like we
could be so quick to just be like, well you're racist,
and that's it. The fucking doors are shut, and this
person now has to be like, well, then now I'm
gonna have to make the best of being on in

(48:41):
this fucking world, right, like okay, fuck that, versus like
being like, look, it's we get it. You have nineteen
fucking forty eight thoughts and beliefs, but like there is
just take a second. You don't have to be you
don't have to have hatred in your fucking heart because
at the end of the day, I think what people
on the left if for people who are purely interested

(49:02):
in like an equitable world. It's not one that excludes everybody,
because I think a lot of people like, well this
is just for brown people or something, and I'm white
and I'm white, and they just want to take everything
I have. No, it's about understanding that there is an
abundance just generally that can be shared with everyone and
no one has to go you know, no one has
to be left out and be lacking. And we're not dumb.

(49:23):
Like if you send like a rapist out of a community,
he's going to go to another community, right Like this
this hate like we don't we want conversion. That is
what we want because you can't just like isolate people
and their hatred from like the world. That's not like
that's impossible. So like we don't want to like eradicate people.
We want to eradicate these ideas. Yeah, and I mean,

(49:44):
I will say this last because I think that to
your point, Miles, people thinking that everyone wants equality for
black and brown people and people, Yeah, everyone but white men.
I think that, um, white women, you can help a
lot with that. White women, we needed you so bad
in the last election. We only got of your votes.
And if you are a white woman who believes you

(50:06):
know that basically what's happening in our country right now
is wrong and you don't agree with these things, then
just take a moment to share that with your girlfriends
and your friends. Sincerely, Like, I mean this because you
have so much power and we sincerely do need you
on our side. Because it also points to the fact
that this is not about raise because because honestly, affirmative

(50:27):
action has benefited white women is a statistical fact, the
most out of everyone. So it's just like everything that
we're trying to do is for the equality of all
of us, and we really need certain groups to like
really participate more. And and with that like having them
ask questions. I have like white women friends like I
do this with black women. I'm like, yo, black person,

(50:47):
check in because I'm like I don't understand something, or
like a need better player if it's your friends internet, Yeah,
there is right and it's not and it's not like
our responsibility, Like you have to take some responsibility. But
part of that is asking questions. And I have a
white female friend who like phrases things incorrectly all the time,
and it is embarrassed and gets like defensive or whatever.
But she recognizes that and she's like, how do I

(51:08):
stop this? And she like asks me questions and she participates,
and I was like, hey, it's really fucking hard, Like
you have to read a lot and you have to
be like active in doing that and in seeking out
new information. But if you want to be like a
good person, if you want to care about your fellow
human beings, you'll do the work. And I think on
a different note, I think like because I've seen this

(51:30):
argument a lot from like straight black people. Um says
straight black people that like they feel like the lgbt
human moment, like in terms of like acceleration of like
rights has like passed them or whatever, which erases like,
you know, queer black people in general. But my point
is that LGBTQ people have been like born into families.

(51:50):
Those families loved them, and then they had to make
a choice right about whether to continue loving them or
to like reject them once they came out. And I
think when you have to make that choice when it's
personal to you, when you're exposed to it, it's a
lot harder. Whereas people can stay segregated in like different races,
like they can avoid other races for like, oh, you're
saying that choice doesn't show up on your doorstep in

(52:12):
the same way because you can avoid people of different
background and your family's like, oh, okay, now this is
a very real yeah, And I'm not I'm not trying
to compare the sufferings. There is much different. Yeah. Um.
I also want to make this last point that I
feel like a lot of white people feel like minorities
have a racial high ground, or not not a racial

(52:35):
high ground, but like a moral high ground when it
comes to racism and stuff like that. But I really
want to say that, like I have to untrain my
brain all the time, like you were saying things that
are rooted in prejudice. My cousin's a school teacher and
I used to grade papers with him, and the name,
you know, this is in Brooklyn, and the names would
be like I can't even think of one, like my
mon Craigan. And I'd be like, oh my god, these names,

(52:57):
like like how do you read this? And he was like,
are you kidding me? He was like, every name is
made up, like no name is better than any other name,
and everybody's name is a reflection of something that their
parents gave them and and we should not judge people
based on that. And I had to check because like
we're all we all have to constantly unlearned prejudice that
we were and that's what it is. I mean, acknowledge
that nothing your work is never finished, right, and there's

(53:18):
an ability to evolve because nothing is permanent. Keeping that
in mind, all right, we're gonna take a quick break
and we'll be right back. And we're back and just
onto some lighter fair. Um. I don't know if y'all

(53:39):
ever have to deal with seagulls eating your ship or
tagging your food at the beach, or just in general. Um,
but there's been a new study and I don't know
how the fucking scientifically rooted this is. Maybe the PhD
candidate can tell us, Um, just about how to successfully
fucking intimidate a seagull from not eating your food? And

(54:00):
I like this. Now, this is a study from It
was recently published in the Biology Letters from the UK.
Do you know this journal? Okay, maybe it's fake no um.
But basically they wanted to test like if human intimidation
through eye contact has any effect on seagulls, like sort
of willingness to attack your food. Now, the way they

(54:22):
did this was they had uh, like a bag of
food out, like a chips or something, and then they
would have an experiment or like some experimenters just looked
like had their eyes turned away from the seagulls, and
then other people would stare the seagulls down, like if
they got near the bags of chips, and after five minutes,
if the seagull didn't approach, or if the seagulls snatched

(54:45):
the food up, that experiment or that trial, they would
categorize that as complete. So they found that the seagulls
took significantly longer to approach the food source when the
experiment or looked them directly at the versus a way. Now,
some were bolder than others, but the overall findings they

(55:05):
say just means that straight up eye contact, even head turning,
being like I see you, I see you was able
to slow down or deter the seagulls. For people who
didn't look, they were much more willing to approach. I
didn't even think this was a thing because usually I
would just throw ship or like the funk out of here. Right,
I'm gonna have to get into the research scam game

(55:28):
because somebody funded this, somebody funded big stair down, going
down to figure out if staring at seagulls was worthwhile
or yeah, you just had like you gotta grant money,
or let's kick it at the beach. We'll do this thing, right,
We'll just we'll just sarah seagulls and then we're like
nobody who's gonna go out and debunk this? But like
me me Harvard, Harvard, hit your girl up, okay, because

(55:50):
I'm gonna go out and I'm a staring seagulls. What's
your degree background? What are your bona fides? Have A
I have a marketing degree and a performance degree. But
let's listen, but sin no, I took biology in high school.
Biology okay, science, um, and I need to go out
there give me three dollars to go out here. Yeah,

(56:13):
because I'm gonna go. We're gonna go to the beach
and turks and cakes and see from my sweets. I
gotta go to Bali because that's where the seagulls be
the most trio to see monkey effect on segull eye contact. Yeah,
what's um okay? This is like this thing is something

(56:33):
that like the public will see like a headline like
this and be like what then why do I need
to why do I need to know this? Or whatever?
But like then thirty years down the line, it's like
a new invention of belcro or something, you know what
I mean, Like all of it's like fucking tied together.
So you know, people will see that everything is very
like niche and specific, so they're like, why do I
need to know this? Oh? I love that? See that
that's even further prolifering my my own exploits that I'll

(56:55):
be doing. I would love to see you somehow scam
your way into doing scientific reach. I think that that's
honestly probably Yeah, like I'm scamming no bit you're studying right,
I don't know whatever it is. It's like somehow you're
like you're like, oh, I'm work at NASA right now,
I'm working on a new movie, like at Mars. Right

(57:16):
She's one of the first. Like this is really good
at hand I try to put a monorail on Mars.
Now we're like we have Chief Scam, Jineer Captain and
the freeze dry food. And the next thing I knew
I was almost Also, now I don't like your new
Virgil Ablow designed off white space suits. Okay, well, like,

(57:40):
do these shoes have red bottoms? Space boots? Nikes? Um.
Also another thing I didn't realize. There's a apparently the
rising prices of avocados is causing some restaurants to thin
out their guac with a secret ingredient. Now, I don't
know if this how you know prevalent this is, but

(58:02):
due to these like huge spikes and avocados, people are
this is okay, look, this might be surprising to you,
but there are restaurants in California that have been essentially
adding the calabasita the summer squash, and they basically they
can get the the taste and texture right, although it's

(58:22):
just a little bit looser. And this is apparently a
guak scam. I know that this squak scam has been
happening because she's behind it, and I've watched Oh yeah,
you have a Calabasita farm. Yeah, we'll listen. You gotta
get in early, okay. And the biggest way that I
know this has been happening is because I've been seeing
way too many advertisements about some guawk that's got raised

(58:46):
us in it. Palm a grant is sees coconut like.
They're putting all types of wild ship in guacamole and
is to distract us from the fact that it tastes
like squash. Wow. Oh yeah. If you go to Tokamadera
out here, they put a wow shots fired, they put
pomegranate seeds, and they're guacamole. Pepete does all types of

(59:06):
stuff to throw me off the scent right of the squash.
I wonder if Chipole is working around or their their
guack price. That ship is thick, I mean, but their
gua price stays up. I think that because other places
like that will give you guacamole it's not necessarily like
market price or it comes with the meal, but at

(59:26):
Chipotle they keep that price eye. So I think even
if avocados dip. Chipotle has never changed their price until
like ten years later. There's no avocados. They're just offering squash.
It's ten dollars if you want to add it to
your We're like old and we're like, you know, back
in my day, Welcombe with avocado. Okay, Grandpa, I think
he's having one of his episodes. I'm gonna go into

(59:47):
my drawer and take a nap of the house. Everyone
knows glacamole, squash and watermelon seeds. They're like, go play
your PS eighteen, Grandpa, and leave us the funk alone.
Keep playing FIFA forty. You start to make us listen
to amigos. Grandpa. I'm going to teleport right now. If
you if you don't stop embarrassing honestly, if you say
rain drop drop top, We're gonna put you in a home.

(01:00:09):
I don't give a funk. What does that even? It
doesn't make sense, But why would you speak words in
music that's disgusting. It's like I remember when music was audible,
and now we just put these vibrating chips on our
jaw bones, and that's how we enjoy music right in
the privacy of our own skulls. I say it's you,
and they're like, she's having a stroke, having stroke, Please

(01:00:31):
call the doctor. It's happening again. Yes it is, No,
it's not. That was the one she used to do
and now it's the other one that's handy. What does
that mean? I think it's like my hand or so.
I don't even I just remember that part from Get
Your Frequent. I thought I saw that part and I
was like, oh, ship, we made it. There's a lot
of Indians because it's like I got up, so I'll

(01:00:54):
go hit paper. No no no no no no no
no no no no by miss Elliott and Timberland. Wow,
shout out to Virginia. You know, Virginia is for lovers
and hustlers too, if you like the clips Um Paula,
it's been so fantastic to have you. Congrats on your

(01:01:15):
comedy anniversary. You said three years now today, three years
since you decided to kick academia and his ass and
say funk that I'm gonna try and do both. The
three years since the day I stepped off the stage
and was like, fuck, this is where all my time
is going. Yeah, well, look I hope you're able to
Uh also get that PhDs read what I mean. That's
what we need. We need more pH d s doing comedy. Yeah,

(01:01:36):
we need we need anatomically correct dick jokes. Thank you?
Yeah exactly. And you're like, what are you talking about?
What part of the penis is this? Just say the shaft?
Let's be more specific. What's shaft mean? What's the scientific
word for shaft? Is still shaft? Okay? TPD is that game? Right?
And let me know all the scientific names for all

(01:01:57):
the parts of the penis because I don't want to
look up diagram penis. Did you know most of the
parts of like the vagina, including the G spot is
named after men? Oh who is the doctor with our flags?
And the pussy? Well here's the thing that I fine?
Then to day you think they'd be looking for a frisday? Yeah,
where's the G spot on the outside? You know what? Hey?

(01:02:24):
Which hole is the clue? It's like, oh the belly
buttons named after a man? That's crazy like that? Y'are nasty?
What's a tweet that you're like? Oh? Also, where can
people find you? Fall? You support you? Which you plug stuff?
Everybody get your pens out. I'm Paula Vigan Alan p
A L l A v I g U n A

(01:02:44):
l A N. That's my website, my Instagram, my Facebook,
my Twitter. UM. I have a show and a podcast
called Facial Recognition Comedy. We're at West Side Comedy Theater
the second Sun of every month and nine pm. We're
also starting up in New York to UM and we'll
be there a thirtieth New York Comedy Club. And I

(01:03:05):
also have Oversharing Comedy, which is a show I run
at Boomtown Brewery in Downtown. That's a oversharing comedy. And
I have this is myth the thing that I plugged
earlier in my Dirty Science web series. It's on my
YouTube and it's also on my website. UM, and I
just like explore a different topic every week. Nice and
it's for adults, so I like make dirty jokes. Fuck yeah,

(01:03:26):
I like will be like that Dirty Science ship out here.
What about you, Lacey? Where can people find you? Follow you? Okay, guys,
you know this great investment opportunity. Yes, don't you want
a house in the roof? But that's got a monorail
that's gonna take you to y Yeah, alright, as always,
it's Lacey. Most you can find me at d I

(01:03:48):
v A l A c I Diva Lacey on all platforms.
You can also find my podcast, Scam Goddess on Earwolf Presents.
If you haven't listened to the pilot, guys, it drops
October first and it's gonna be letty. Um. Also, you
can follow Scam got his Pod on Twitter and on Instagram.
And if you got any scams you want to tell
me about, uh, the noncurrent ones. Okay, if you're still

(01:04:10):
running and I'm not trying to mess with your flow, um,
email me at scam got his Pot at gmail dot com.
And guys, the season finale of Florida Girls was yesterday.
If you did not watch it Florida Girls Pop TV,
you can get it on the Pop Network app. If
you have Hulu Live, you can watch it on demands. Um,
but get that, guys, And then tweets that I'm enjoying.

(01:04:33):
Also UCB Theater if you want to watch me Team
Leroy or ucbmon Team Donna Tella. Um, somebody plugs so
wi me um and I'm gonna be doing my own
tweets today. Okay, here's my first one from NBC Los Angeles.
Watch live during a police pursuit in Orange County, a

(01:04:55):
motorcycle driver finds time to take out his phone and text.
I retweeted this and said, don't ever let a man
tell you he was too busy to reply. Okay, he's
literally being chased by the cops on a motorcycle. Okay,
so get what you deserve, queen, all right. And then
the next tweet that I like, just because I want to,
I have to get Tanny. I have to do this, sorry,

(01:05:16):
Tony new Tonny News. Some tweeted, Stevie Wondered just eight
dinner next to me and I didn't see him. Please,
no questions during this difficult time for my family. In
parentheses me and I had to retweet that and say, well,
he probably didn't never mind. I'm so sorry, sis, And
she goes, I wasn't making a joke about Stevie want
to not been able to see. I was like, why

(01:05:37):
you said see? Then, why you gonna saying you didn't realize?
She probably just thought it was some dusty old dude
with bad braids. Stevie Wonders does blind jokes anyway, he drive,
he can feel with the braids is starting, you know,

(01:05:58):
moved back back do you have a tweet that you
like to ask, you can just like one of my
I a long time ago, I tweeted a picture of
Will Smith's genie and I was like, this is what
white people think Hindu isn't is it isn't It's very close. Okay,

(01:06:23):
I don't know. Um, you can find me at Miles
of Gray that's on Twitter and Instagram. A couple of
tweets I like, uh, two or from Reductress and one
is from my Lambert the Reductress ones At Reductress, mom
announces tissue is clean. It's just been in her purse.
My god, I don't know. I've always heard that. Noticed
five he's just been to my purse because I'll crumpled up. Okay,

(01:06:44):
never mind. Another one. Wow, this one pole dances for
exercise but doesn't respect sex workers. Too real, too real? Um.
And then Molly Lambert at Molly Lambert, there's a spider
in my shower, but we have a mutual respect. I
like that, you know what I mean. Shout out to spiders. Uh,
spiders in the building all day. I rack the gang here.

(01:07:06):
Shout out to the University University of Richmond, Virginia. The
you see They're called the Spiders and I need that
jersey that just as sucking spiders on the front. Spiders
what it is? Man, they're do you like, do you
like like just from a distance, or do you like
you know, if I see him, I'm like, oh, I
don't get freaked out. I'm like, do you think, man,
unless it's like a black widow or something, I'm like,

(01:07:27):
you can't be inside. I'm sorry. They're the pit bull
and spiders. Man, they're just getting all this ship. Yeah, misunderstood.
Misunderstood it because the environment there. You know, they're just
out here surviving and we're taking that as like, oh
my god, buildings over their homes. Spider will do as
the spider will do. And that's for example. Um okay.
You can find us at daily Ze Guys on Twitter,
at the daily Ze Guys on Instagram. We got a

(01:07:49):
Facebook fan page, we got a website, daily zet guys
dot com. We're posting episodes, but no less and you
know the dealers. That case is a production of our
Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit
that the heart Radio app or the Apple podcast app
or wherever you get your shows. Just get okay, please
now as I spit because I'm dehydrated because the cold

(01:08:10):
grew wasn't kicking hard enough today, I want to mention
the song we were writing out on and it is
from a group who I'm just gonna say is l
A's outcast. They're called Tehrant and A O m R.
I don't know if it's Tyran or look, you have
to forgive me if I'm mispronouncing it. They're known as
t n A. Okay. The song is called two petty
and they kind of they do it all. I mean there, yeah,

(01:08:32):
exactly two um and yeah, this is two Petty from
I think it's from a little single they let it
they release last year, but it's great, um and just
check them out if you like the vibe. As we
get closer, one day closer to Friday, so if you're
in college, this is your Friday. But please act responsibly,

(01:08:53):
love each other and it's never too late to come
back from racism. I love you, goodbye. I'm very off
the ship sucking chow and chicken scratching dad, we like
you back and yacking like we homies type ship sticking
from your snick a load to your niggas to think
they all that laps and judgment up, Andy, Katie, cain't
me Patty? Can't we y'all get alone though? Nah My,
fall y'all niggas, what's the whole Paul? When you roped
off anyway? Huh hold hold sa sa say it to

(01:09:21):
my face when you talking like your talk

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Shaqdilla, How To Fight Seagulls 8.8.19