Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
What a What a weekend? Guys? How's everybody?
Speaker 2 (00:05):
You know?
Speaker 1 (00:05):
I feel like so much stuff happened.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
Right, Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 1 (00:09):
It's been six weeks since Friday. It feels like, Yeah,
I went on TikTok for the first time.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Ever, willingly not for work, Yeah, just because it really
banned very briefly, and I was like, let's see what's
going on on TikTok while the Americans are gone?
Speaker 1 (00:31):
And there was nothing going on on TikTok. I still
don't know how to use.
Speaker 3 (00:35):
It, everybody. It turns out you just had your app
store open. Everybody was just posting like really fun anti
American content, Like there was somebody who was like dancing
to crazy music and it was like centimeters color.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Color you. Yeah, what the metric system remember that? Remember
when we were planning to change to the metric system. Now,
in so many ways, the US has just been like, bah.
Speaker 3 (01:11):
Fuck it, ye, we don't need to measure, we don't
need to measure our bombs in metric times.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
We are who who we are. It's just full on.
I wonder if full on we are who we are?
Speaker 3 (01:27):
We are who we are, Hello.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
The Internet, and welcome to this week. Trend edition of
gist's How My Voice Feels, That's How My Soul Feels.
It's production by Heart Radio. This is the episode where
we come in very early on our first day back
after the after the weekend, in this case, the long
Martin Luther King weekend, and tell you what was trending
(01:59):
over the past three days. I'm thrilled to be joined
by today's very special guest co host, a hilarious stand
up comedian. Ah, my voice is not sore from being
at the inaugural ball in case anybody's why voice sure
(02:22):
from from light saluting. Just you know, it's actually not that.
So I did like kind of rolled my shoulder out
a little bit. So she feeling pretty good. Jesus christ uh, Paulay.
Usually we're like, how are you doing this?
Speaker 3 (02:44):
When it's happening, it's like nothing. You know that we
were talking about mister Burns earlier, but you know that
mister Burns doctor reference where he goes to the doctor
and he gets a check up and they're like, you
actually have everything, but because they're all there, none of
them can get through this door. That's what it feels
like the world right now. I'm like, let me go
(03:05):
read a book.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it really does. It's just a giant,
sustained ball of shit that is a kind of all
holding itself together kind of not really though, it's just
it really a thing that we kept coming back to.
I forget who who the historical quote was from, but
(03:27):
during the first Trump administration on the show, we would
repeatedly say, you know, things can get worse. It's hard
to imagine at the at the time, the things can
get worse, and they are. They are worse. This is worse.
Speaker 3 (03:43):
I think the straight you know how, like the gay
campaign was like it gets better, but this is like
the hetero agenda.
Speaker 1 (03:49):
Yeah, yeah, getting worse.
Speaker 3 (03:52):
Guys.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
Yeah, as promised, it's getting worse. So we're going to
talk about some of the details from Trump's inauguration TikTok
like kind of throat in the boot, just all sorts
of Elon Musk doing a doing an actual Nazi salute.
But before we get into that, we do like to
(04:14):
let the listeners, and you're welcome for this, listeners, let
the listeners get to know us a little bit better
by telling them some stuff we think is overrated, some
stuff we think is underrated. Paul you want us to
you want to kick us off withted Oh.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
My god, speaking of this weekend. You know it's overrated history.
We're not learning from it. Why are we studying it?
Speaker 1 (04:37):
Still? We are?
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Are the point if you can do a Nazi salute
in the middle of everything and the ADL is like, well,
he's just enthusiastic.
Speaker 1 (04:50):
Or just an awkward gesture done very enthusiastically.
Speaker 3 (04:53):
Yeah. So I'm like everybody's like, we got to learn
from the mistakes of history. I'm like, I feel like
just current empathy isn't working, So like, how are we
try to outsmart history? Sorry, history heads, I'm getting dumber
as we speak. Yeah, fuck, history care cares about where
I came from or what happened or why we have
(05:15):
the values we care about.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Yeah, I feel that my overrated is giving apps five stars,
like every time. It feels like every time I encounter
an app, Like I'm using Microsoft Outlook as an email
client because it is mandated by my workplace, and they
(05:39):
ask if I want to rate them, and out of curiosity,
I like check. I was like, what what kind of
ratings are? Is Microsoft Outlook? Kind of ratings? Is Instagram?
Getting so funny? It's five stars, like across the board,
Like this industry that we are now aware is trying
(06:03):
to take away our free will is successfully take away
our free will and is now openly in league with
the Trump administration. They're like on the veranda as he's
getting sworn in, Like we're just giving them default five stars.
Like I feel like we need to recalibrate our grading
(06:24):
curve when it comes to to the apps that these
massive companies are putting out, like start with a baseline
of zero, and if they do something that suggests that
they're not going to try to rob you a free
will or like destroy democracy in order to gain power,
they like get up to one one star.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
You know, I think there should be multiple like axes
on which you can rate it, so you could be like, okay,
yeah it's super fascist, but also I'm still addicted to it,
so like you know what I mean, don't take it away,
but like change it, you know.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Yeah, yeah, That's what I was trying to figure it.
Like is this just because it's the equivalent of like
ask it like a drug dealer being like, hey, could
you rate and review drugs before I give you your nextra drug?
Speaker 3 (07:14):
That is so funny. They're like, let me cater this
algorithm to you in this math.
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Twenty seven million people have rated Instagram
and the average rating is an A. It's four point
seven out of five. That's ninety four percent.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
What if every standing meeting Mark Zuckerberg walks in and
he's like, how are we doing, folks, and they're like, well,
the ratings are still at five? Keep going.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
Yeah. I mean I think like it got started out
at a really high level. I guess like when people
were just like, gee, whiz apps, what can't the tech
industry do? And now they're just like still there, like
Microsoft outlook a fuck email client that like most people
who use it are like this is really frustrating and
(08:05):
like doesn't work that well. Is that four point eight
out of five? That's like almost an A plus? Like?
What why are we? Why do we grade? Like we're
the hotel management department at like Alabama giving like all
the football players just like good grades to like get
their eligibility up. It's just yeah, I don't know if
(08:26):
it's goodwill left over from the tech industry from like
two thousand and eight, but I feel like we need
to just say enough is enough and start like giving
these apps zero stars.
Speaker 3 (08:39):
They aren't immigrant uber drivers. Okay, we need to really
judge them right.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
By the way.
Speaker 2 (08:48):
Uh.
Speaker 1 (08:49):
Brian the Editor has gone to the Google Play Store
to check out the reviews for the app Covenant Eies,
which has actually is actually earning a me your four
point six, which is like an A minus. Actually coveted eyes.
Are you aware of polity of Covenant Eyes? This is
(09:09):
the app. So this is the app that Speaker of
the House Mike Johnson uses to keep him himself and
his teenage son from jacking off to internet porn. And
we covered it when it was first.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
In houselt for Internet porn.
Speaker 1 (09:29):
Yeah, it's chastity Belt for internet porn. You essentially have
spyware installed on your phone that will tell on you
the second you look at porn to another like partner,
another like accountability partner, and it's uh, it's apparently working
for these ten points, like basically eleven thousand people who
(09:54):
have reviewed it as getting an A minus. You'd think
that there would be more people being like, fuck, this
thing just told my dad that I was jacking off
like that.
Speaker 3 (10:05):
I know. They're like, we hope it wouldn't work. I
feel like, if you have a problem like that, going
to like another app isolation thing isn't the best solution. Like,
I feel like, amidst all of these issues that you're having,
maybe like connect with people who could help, like human
beings who could help you, rather than being like, punish me.
(10:28):
That might be kink. What if they're like if getting
punished by covenant eyes, They're like, yeah, I've been a
bad boy.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
I do feel like in the popular consciousness, at least
people who are obsessed with sexual purity also tend to
be the people who are like in a dark room
on their knees, like whipping their own back, you know. Yeah, so.
Speaker 3 (10:50):
The editor it does not work.
Speaker 1 (10:52):
Brian, the editor has pulled this quote from the reviews.
This was very helpful in my pursuit of sexual purity.
So that was it.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Yeah, okay, virgin, No, I'm kidding jobs. It's fine to
be a virgin. You're fine.
Speaker 1 (11:09):
If you're a virgin, it's fine, it's fine. Weird times,
I say, we stop giving the tech industry the benefit
of the doubt and start grading them taking into account
what they're doing to human civilization.
Speaker 3 (11:24):
Okay, this is how I feel about comedians, like I'm
gonna have a conversation with someone about comedians, and I'm like,
people think this person is funny despite like everything about them,
like despite their politics or whatever. And for me, when
people have like shitty politics or are bad to women
and then have a voice of authority on stage, it
really takes the wind out for me, where I'm like,
(11:47):
I see through like the Emperor has no clothes sort
of thing, so it makes it not funny for me. Yeah,
and then you kind of are like, oh, like you
reanalyze their jokes and you're like, oh, this is like
hack and can be independent of that too, Like they
could just not be funny on the front, but you're
not fooled by it or whatever. But that's how I
feel about that too. I'm like, why are we like
(12:09):
all of this is tied together, Like you can't separate
the app from the artists or whatever, you know what
I mean, Like, you can't separate these things because it
does affect everything, and it does affect my perception of
things too.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
I think I've done it in the past, like I've
given something like a five stars just to get them
to leave me alone. And like I think I assume
that if I give it one star, they're going to
keep bothering me and be like, what's up, man?
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Yeah? Why b Yeah, dude, what's a problem.
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Which similar to the difficulty of like critiquing a male
comedian and yeah, it's just going to be a g
are you gay?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Dude?
Speaker 1 (12:55):
Yeah? The pushback is going to be incredibly exhausting. And uh,
the Internet is now a place where you know fascist
ideals and you know bullies reigned supreme.
Speaker 3 (13:06):
So do you want to know something crazy? Like I
fully did not mean to shift into this, but it's
a perfect transition to something crazy that happened to me yesterday.
I'm in an Instagram fight with Elysa Shlessing Are you really?
Because she posted something like super racist against the Palestinian prisoners.
(13:27):
She was like, when will the world see that they're
all terrorists and we're exchanging like innocent people for terrorism,
like they're children, And so I posted on her Instagram
because this has bothered me for a while. I was like,
the last time I saw you live, you were talking
about homeless people. Her words were an inconvenience to her day,
and I was like, also, this post is racist. Daff like,
(13:48):
what hope this helps? And then she wrote this whole
thing and then she she said something racist towards me.
She was like, you were people actually murdered innocent Muslims
because she like my page, she like and she referenced
my comedy career as though she was trying to like
scare me.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Like it was just it was so like spinning out,
crashing out, and I was like I spent the day
like rescuing a dog and going to a kid's birthday
party and getting dessert handmade by my boyfriend and he
brought me flowers, Like like she's sitting there replying to
all of these comments on this way hell post and
(14:30):
I responded to it like one time, but she wouldn't
let me tag her. But like it's crazy that comedians
in that position can just be like racist as hell,
And like there's no like Amy Schumer is thriving right now,
you know, Like.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
It's that seems to be the entire country at is
just in a place of uh yeah, they're like everybody's
on board.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
But like anytime any one of those I think about
that person's life and I'm like I would a million Times,
be like where I am in society and just like
prefer to not be racist like that, you know what
I mean, Like I would never want to switch positions
with you, like you seem so miserable.
Speaker 1 (15:14):
Yeah. Yeah, it's been a while since they've been able
to like take the racism out for a public walk
without any shame, you know, I mean, without getting at
least like full pushback from every everybody. All right, Uh,
that's wild. Yeah. Also the yeah, there's this quote in
the New York Times is the Daily from Monday where
(15:36):
they were just doing the update on the ceasefire and
the hostage exchange that they referred to them as, you know,
the Israeli hostages and then the Palestinian prisoners comma mostly
women and minors. So yeah, yeah, it's an interesting difference
(15:57):
in the words you use there. They're just being held
captive and like swept up without any you know, due
process or being even really accused of anything, but they're prisoners.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
I think the amount of like the benefit of the
doubt people give to any state sanctioned activity or institutions
is insane. Like they're always like, oh, think for yourself,
conspiracy theories, woke mind virus. And it's like, I know
so many people that are like, oh, they wouldn't do it,
the Israel or the US wouldn't do these operations if
(16:29):
they were bad. I'm like, yeah, Like, do you have
any ethical compass of your own? Like, do you have
like think critically about it? It's just insane. It's just
insane how people are willing to handwave things because it's
just easier for them to not think about it. Yeah,
it's I don't know. And they are very good at propaganda.
I will give them that.
Speaker 1 (16:50):
Yeah, I actually give the United States government five stars
in this operating. Leave me alone, thank you? Yeah, all right,
do you have something you think is underrated?
Speaker 3 (17:04):
Well I was gonna do. I think I've done well, Okay,
I'll do this. Speaking of apps, I think it's I
think it's underrated. How we used to be able to
like get tickets in email form just a PDF to
our emails. Now I have to fucking download an app
for into it dome and it takes my facial recognition features,
(17:24):
Like what, why are why am I giving them my data?
Like I just want to go see wrestling.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
And like and would you mind just giving me into
a dome app a quick rating. I know. I hate.
Speaker 3 (17:39):
I hate that we have to download.
Speaker 1 (17:40):
App capturing of your facial features really easy and seamless,
though you have to know it.
Speaker 3 (17:47):
I'm like, what happened, Let's bring masks back, because like
this is I know some for some people that hasn't gone,
but like for a lot of people it has. But
I don't want people taking my like facial structure, Like
I don't even want a plastic surgeon looking at that.
I'm sensitive. Okay, yeah, I'm just a little little lady.
But it's I'm so mad because like we went to
(18:10):
a WNBA game and they're like forty minutes and like
I had to read download like different like things to
even just get into my ticket Master account, and like
I sound so old and I don't care, Like I don't.
I don't want to download another app for a thing
that's very simple, like get the fuck off my phone.
Get off my phone. Yeah, I don't care how much
(18:31):
storage I have. Get out of here.
Speaker 1 (18:33):
It's getting so much worse. Like we have given these
people who run and I know I'm going to get
blowback for calling tech billionaires these people, but we've given
them like so much power and they with it. They
have just made the product the only thing that they
have extensibly like given like created value for in exchange
(18:57):
for their massive amounts of money, and just like made
it so much worse for users, Like there's nobody little.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
Hamster wheels like go outside, plant a tree. You don't
have to do tech all the time, you don't have
to make another app.
Speaker 1 (19:11):
It does feel like there would be an amazing opportunity
for anyone to come through and be like this generation's
Ralph Nader, who's like I speak on behalf of the
users and this all sucks shit, like everything you've been
doing is bad. But I don't know, Like it just
feels like there's no way for a person like that
to get their message out other than the daily zeitgeist.
(19:34):
Yeah anyways, Uh, that's that's bad that so many of
these apps are so fucking bad. Underrated real quick, just
a propos of almost nothing. I want to say, the
Hollywood the Hollywood Sign. I think the Hollywood Sign is underrated.
So I was just as researching places to see in Japan,
(19:58):
and I was like checking out whether like one of
the you know, you know that intersection where everybody like
crosses in Tokyo and movies, it's like the establishing shot
to be like you're in Tokyo. Yeah, yeah, And I
was just like trying to get a sense of like
is that worth saying or not.
Speaker 3 (20:15):
Yeah, it's really cool.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
Yeah, that's what I've heard. I've heard that one's really cool.
But like the that's kind of how I think about
these things, like the establishing shot thing that a movie
will use to be like, this is where you are,
is it worth seeing? And like sometimes it is so
the Miami sign that they always show as an establishing
(20:37):
shot in movies to say, it's usually like a jet
landing and then a sign that says welcome to Miami
that doesn't exist. It was invented for establishing shots, Like
that sign doesn't actually exist.
Speaker 3 (20:50):
I always hear it in Will Smith voice, welcome to my.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Welcome to Miami. Yeah, the Will Smith sign.
Speaker 3 (20:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
But the Hollywood sign I've always thought, I think before
I moved here, I was like, oh, that's probably just
like a zero thing, and like it. You sometimes do
see influencers taking pictures like in the middle of the
street with the Hollywood sign in the background, like ten
miles away, and it's like Yeah, that sounds like that's
stupid to you know. Just like get a picture from
(21:19):
like way far away of the Hollywood Sign. It's like
taking a picture of the moon. You know, it's gonna
look like shit, it's gonna be tiny. But you can
like hike up near the Hollywood Sign. There's like there's
a huge reservoir right by the sign. There's so many
cool hiking paths up there, and it's just like it's giant.
(21:40):
The hikes are nice. It's an awesome like area of
town where like nature meets these big Hollywood movie star
asshole mansions and it's I don't know. And you know,
I thought we had lost it when that extremely believable
AI image started making the rounds with it.
Speaker 3 (22:01):
And I don't blame them because it's so confusing what's
real and what's not right now, But yeah, we did
not lose the Hollywood Sign.
Speaker 1 (22:09):
But yeah, I guess it just hit me that it's
kind of a cool sign, kind of a cool landmark
for a city that doesn't we don't have a lot
of good land Like the Hollywood Boulevard with like the
stars on the sidewalk not great. The Walk of Fame
is not great. But the Hollywood Sign has its angles
that it's worth say.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
Two things about the Hollywood Sign. Yes, that's all very true.
And I also think it's okay for like tourists and
influencers to get excited about these things, because that's like
totally what makes this you know what I mean? Like
I think I think it's fine, and we need to
find more joy and stuff like that, and if it's
something that's so prominent, like the Minion brings people so
much joy for the universal peeking over, we have the
(22:52):
Hollywood side and the Minion and that's la and I
love it. And then also fun fact, my undergrad pranked
the Holly I think it was was it the Hollywood
Sign and made it spell out like hold on, I need.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
To look weird.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
No, it spelled out like our cal Tech name and
it was in they like changed it to make it
say cal Tech and there's a picture of it. Yeah,
so they added.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Like impressive prank.
Speaker 3 (23:23):
Yeah, well, like it's a bunch of engineers who were
like where do I put all my sexual tension? But yeah,
they changed it cal Tech. They like blacked out the
H and the D and changed the middle to say
cal Tech. And I thought that was pretty fun and cool.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Yeah, because cal Tech and Hollywood are not very close
to one, like those words, There's there's a lot of
work to be done there.
Speaker 3 (23:44):
There is a lot of work that's pretty cool. You
do fun pranks, you could You could be in a
romantic movie and be taken up there and get to
sit on the Hollywood Sign.
Speaker 1 (23:55):
All those engineers, by the way, are still in prison
for that prank. They will never get out January six ers.
On the other hand, all right, let's take a quick break.
We'll come back and we'll talk about all the crazy
shit that's happening in the news. We'll be right back,
(24:21):
and we're back, and so over the long weekend, a
lot of events, a lot of news stories that could
broadly be interpreted as both Donald Trump winning and America
just doing a full like he'll turn like not not
that America hasn't been like bad for a long long time,
but like America has also always wanted so desperately to
(24:43):
be good. We would like delude ourselves into believing we
were the good guys. And it just feels like that
shit is over.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
As a non black person, I would like to just
assert myself here and say, Martin Luther King Junior would
not have approved of the events of this weekend.
Speaker 1 (25:00):
That's such a good point, because I think a lot
of people were wondering. But yeah, I don't know. Donald
Trump has won everyone from tech billionaires to like Mike Tyson.
We're at the inaugural ball this is above round.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
Snoop Dogg and Nelly performing there and stuff.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
I don't don't know. I couldn't even keep track of
all the disappointing details of the inaugurat.
Speaker 3 (25:23):
Eybody's fine with it now, They're all just fine. I
feel like I'm living in crazy Land all over again.
Speaker 1 (25:31):
Yeah, this feels so much further gone, Like America seems
so much further gone.
Speaker 3 (25:37):
We're cooked.
Speaker 1 (25:38):
We are so cooked, like irrevocably cooked, like can't unpickle
the cucumber, cook Like this is this is a bad
place that we seem to be. Like embracing some things
that happened over the weekend that I just wanted to
(25:58):
because they're like the fact that Donald Trump introduced like
a meme coin over the weekend and is now fifty
eight billion dollars richer because of it. Like he didn't
just he didn't do anything. He just like made it
clear that he's going to be corrupt and then partook
in some corruption that allowed people to just be like,
(26:20):
we'll put our money into that so that he does
things for us.
Speaker 3 (26:23):
I still feel bad. I don't know Donald Trump, No,
not for him at all, but for like the people
who buy these coins, and like, I know they're so
there's so many people that are so dumb and so
enthusiastic and so racist and so whatever. But I'm also
like he's still grifting off of Americans, you know what
(26:46):
I mean, Like I'm still like, oh god, so sweety
oh sweaty.
Speaker 1 (26:52):
No, yeah, I don't know who the money is primarily
coming from. If it's the same people who like typically buy,
you know, in library commemorative plates, who are like putting
their money into this, I can't imagine there's fifty eight
billion dollars worth of that money, So I think it's
all It also has.
Speaker 3 (27:11):
To be Princess Diana plate superiority, Okay.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Right, the best plates. That's where most of my savings
are are in Princess Diana plates.
Speaker 3 (27:23):
Hell. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
Similarly, like this all feels like it's all part of
the same story, which is that Donald Trump is taking power,
has announced that he's going to be enormously corrupt, and
rather than anyone pumping the brakes on that in any
effective way, everyone is just clearing the decks for that
(27:47):
corruption or getting involved with it.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
Yeah. They just want to be on the side of capital.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
It's crazy on the way just America loves a winner
so much that we just like have a heart time
dealing with something like this. Like I feel like Americans
are going to have a hard time not getting pulled
into this shit unfortunately.
Speaker 3 (28:11):
I mean they already have. That's why I like he won, Yeah,
and that's why everybody was cool with it, and people
even at shows honestly, Like sometimes I'll try to read
the crowd and be like, how did you feel about
the election, and like it is so like people are
so much more proud to say, like they're happy that
he won now than they were in twenty sixteen. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
(28:32):
in La in La.
Speaker 1 (28:33):
Right. That's the thing. It just seems to be very
little shame about it at this point. Like I think
people are more likely to feel shame about like being
for social justice at this point than the.
Speaker 3 (28:44):
Woke mind virus.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Yeah to being sick with the woke mind virus called.
Speaker 3 (28:49):
In sick to work because I have the woke mind virus.
Speaker 1 (28:52):
That is true. I wonder that would be a cool thing.
A cool consequence is if he like gets that recognized
because he did pull out of the World Health Organization.
So America may soon be out on their own island
of like what is recognized as healthy or like actual pathologies.
Maybe we can start getting off work for having the
(29:15):
woke mind virus.
Speaker 3 (29:16):
I am. I'm an overseas citizen of India and I'm
ready to become a non overseas citizen. I'm ready to
go back to where I came from.
Speaker 4 (29:25):
You guys, So yeah, it's I know, I feel like
everybody who has dual citizenship is you know, a lot
a lot of people who don't are feeling pretty.
Speaker 3 (29:37):
I wouldn't leave. Yes, we have mutual aid to do.
Speaker 1 (29:40):
Yeah. So TikTok did a publicity stunt the like I
feel like, I don't know, it seems like it was
a publicity stunt. They like, heading into it, they were like,
maybe Donald Trump can save us. Then they went dark
for fourteen hours and then came back with like a
pop up that essentially said thanks to dear leader Donald Trump,
we have a second chance at life again. Like he
(30:03):
didn't do anything other than make it clear that he
is corrupt, and you know that's all he needs to do.
He's corrupt, and like the system is going to be
like he's going to be able to do whatever the
fuck he wants. And so all of these self interested
actors are just like, okay, like how do we get
on board with this? It's it's just amazing how quickly
(30:25):
everything has crumbled.
Speaker 3 (30:28):
Like if you're willing to say you love him unconditionally
and will do his bidding, you will profit in some capacity.
The first time around, a lot of those people went
to jail but got book deals or whatever or like,
you know, we're kicked maybe not went to jail, but
we're kicked out pretty quickly, but got book deals or
(30:49):
longevity in their pseudo careers that they never would have
without him. But now this time around, people are going
to monetarily benefit in a real way and they're all in.
They're just all in on it. And if he if
they're committed to him, then it's fine. And that includes
companies like Dick Doc.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Right, Yeah, And so there's like the self interested aspect
of like people at that level, Like, I don't know,
it feels like there's a lot of things that used
to be like taking people took relatively seriously, like the
idea that like corporate goodwill was an okay thing to
rely on, or that like voting for the lesser of
(31:29):
two evils was an okay strategy, or that it was
okay for like the media to you know, adopt that strategy,
and like, uh, it's just like all these things are
just crumbling, Like it's making like he right away his
second administration is just like, yeah, none of those things
actually are protecting anything, and I am I am God Emperor.
(31:52):
Like in his inaugeration speech, he was like that God
saved me from the assassin's bullet and that yeah, God.
Speaker 3 (31:59):
That was the worst thing that could have happened for
the campaign at that point. Looking back, he just gained
like momentum from that.
Speaker 1 (32:07):
But yeah, it's you know, he's in power. Corruption favors
those in power. Everyone in America is like bad winner
takes all systems is going to be tripping over each
other to praise him and give him the things he
wants because that will give them the things they want.
Speaker 3 (32:23):
I do want to say that now is now, more
than ever, is the time to bully people. And I
think it's fine anything that you listen, you're a leftist, okay,
the people that I'm talking to, You care about people.
You want to say the right things. You don't want
to use terms and slurs and bad things. Now direct
(32:45):
any animosity you have in you towards people who think
it's okay to do those things and bully them. I
think that's fine. I think it's fine to bully people
so that they know that we don't agree with them.
And I think that's our obligation now is to make
people get roasted.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
Get roast, get roasted. Asshole is like a good a
good action movie.
Speaker 3 (33:11):
I saw a tweet that was like I wish I
knew who they were, Like this made me laugh NonStop.
It was a cyber truck in New York and somebody
had written very clearly and sharp you on a piece
of paper and stuck it under their wind chilled dork.
And I'm like, just do shit like that ruin their day?
You know?
Speaker 1 (33:29):
H yeah, that is the correct label to.
Speaker 3 (33:35):
That fucking nerd in a bad way.
Speaker 1 (33:38):
But yeah, I don't know, like the TikTok canceling themselves
and then claiming Donald Trump save them, Like, yes, we
should be making fun of TikTok for being fucking losers
and throating the boot in a way that is both
pathetic and also guaranteed to fail them, since anybody who
gives Trump that much power over them always gets fucked over.
But you know, they're they're going all in on this
(34:02):
strategy that everybody else seems to be adopting, despite years
and years of evidence that everybody who pays fealty to
Trump ultimately ends up getting sucked over. But I also
so like one of the reactions to this, which I
like at the time, I was like, this is funny.
Like people started saying, like started a meme that say,
Kendrick Lamar saved TikTok instead of Donald Trump.
Speaker 3 (34:25):
That's so fun Yeah, It's like how people were like
JK Rowling didn't write Harry Potter or somebody else did, right?
Speaker 1 (34:33):
Did you see the thing where she like did She
was like, I'm gonna show everybody, like all these people
who politically attacked me that I'm actually a superior writer
and then like wrote it under a pen name and
the book that she wrote, like nobody even noticed it. Yeah, yeah,
everyone was just like, I mean that was a while ago,
but somebody did a threat about that over the weekend
(34:56):
that I quite enjoyed. But I don't know, I just
feel like we need to accept like the Kendrick Lamar
thing is also feels like Americans like being unwilling to
admit we're fucking loose, that we lost, that we're losers that, Like,
I don't know, like I feel like people still want
(35:16):
to believe that we live in a country where you
can like be right and win, and like we don't.
I don't know if the Kendrick Lamar things like the
most clear evidence of that, but it just it feels
like that's that's a thing we're going to be dealing with,
is everybody in America wanting to be on the winning side.
And in that case, it's just like we're we're making
(35:39):
something up so that we don't have to admit what's
actually going on. In this case, the fantasy where Kendrick
Lamar saved it instead of TikTok claiming that Donald Trump did, I.
Speaker 3 (35:50):
Think we're all like that's also trolling. Like I do
think that people want to take the wind out of
his sales or whatever. But I also think we have
like such an identity crisis because we are a country
of like individualism, the American dream winning, but simultaneously we
like root for the underdog. We enjoy like aesthetics of
(36:10):
the working class without actually backing any of their policies.
So we have such a contradictory view of ourselves and
what we want or even the right does, you know.
And so I think it's like really hard to have
a clear voice and a clear path on like what
winning even means when you don't know who you are.
(36:32):
Like we're so confused because we're like like fuck the British,
but we want to look like them, you know, Like
we're like fuck, fuck all of these people. We started
this country on our own and we threw the tea
in and whatever, but also we want to be like you.
And I think a lot of the colonial aftermath is that,
(36:52):
like that's how like a lot of Indian people are,
is like there they are very like striving to be
like white adjacent or what ever in aesthetic despite like
the harms that colonization have like done to us, you know.
So it's like kind of like Stockholm syndrome if that
were real. But but for like the things that never
(37:16):
served you in the first place that you rebelled against.
We all have daddy issues, is what I'm saying. We
don't know what we're doing.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
It seems like we're it's a mess out here. Yeah,
all right, let's uh, let's take a quick break. We'll
come back. We'll keep talking about the inauguration and uh
and other uh horrible things. We'll be right back. That's
and that's called a tease, folks. And we're back and okay.
(37:50):
So Trump's inauguration, first day in office, uh, he started
doing like signing executive orders in like in a way
it seems like it was like designed to be a
sporting event. At the end of signing some of them,
he like threw the markers out into the crowd, like
it was like a pair of batting gloves after somebody
hit a home run and everybody like went went wild
(38:12):
for it. So bad feels feels very dictatory. He like
I said, he mentioned his speech that God saved his
life from the assassin's bullet. So this entire administration is
mandated by God. And with that mandate, the entire tone
just seems to be like I was right, and you're
all like need to admit it. And so he's like
(38:35):
pulling the US out of the World Health Organization UK.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
But do executive orders really work? If I can't read,
maybe they're not real at all.
Speaker 1 (38:48):
Who knows that's right? There's actually no way to tell.
There's no way to know because it's being reported by
a lot of people who make you read to check
out their reporting. So boo, I think we're I think
we're okay to disregard most of this. Talked about ending
the weaponization of government, like and while like it was
a weird statement, that's basically like the Department of Justice
(39:10):
and FBI are like going to be full time investigating
people in the Biden White House. So like Biden on
his way out preemptively like pardoned everyone he can think of,
like Trump going after including his brothers and yeah, just
like his whole family. Liz Cheney of course, because the
Democrats ore her huge debt and uh but not Jack
(39:34):
Smith though, which sucks for Jack Smith. Not you, my man. Uh,
you're gonna you're gonna take this one for the team.
He Trump pulled America out of the Climate accord and
he pardoned basically every January sixth person. I think it's
worth noting like prior to this, it's been it's pulled
(39:58):
as very unpopular to just be like these people are
all getting out. It just feels like such on corruption.
Speaker 3 (40:06):
Overturning Roe v. Wade. They don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1 (40:10):
Yeah, they just don't give a fuck. I also just
feel like these people getting out, like I don't know
that one feels like more to come in the worst
most foreboding way possible, Like you know, these people are
going to like be the brown shirts for whatever he's
(40:31):
doing here.
Speaker 3 (40:31):
I literally mean this with my whole heart. Like I
was joking about the like not breeding the executive orders,
but if it goes against your ethics, it doesn't exist
to me. Like I'm sorry, trans and non binary people exist,
and I'm going to help them in any fucking way
possible that I can. Like, if the law of the
land is wrong, protect yourself and be safe, and you know,
(40:56):
the people who can do it work on it more.
But I'm just like, we can't pay attention to it.
We cannot give into it.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Yeah, we definitely cannot give into it. There's also like
an intriguing level he's working at now where he's doubling
down on like eighteenth century expansionist rhetoric, like Napoleonic type shit,
where like the US is going to take new territory
including Greenland to Mars and of course renamed the Gulf
of America the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America.
Speaker 3 (41:26):
So really fucking weird of him to support Napoleonic policies
when Baron is so tall.
Speaker 1 (41:31):
That's right, Yeah, pretty fucked up, that's right, all right.
On the other hand, like there's just been a lot
of reporting in the past week about like what we're
learning about the Biden administration and how they handled the
siege of Gaza, So in many ways it's pretty straightforward.
(41:51):
They just didn't actually care enough to stop Israel, Like
they weren't willing to stop them. Israel knew it. And
since one of the details that jumped out to me
Biden in an exit interview last week emitted like that
on the ninth day of the war, Netanya who said
he wanted to do to Gaza what the US did
to Hiroshima in World War two. So literally, like every
(42:15):
time blinken or state official got up and said, well,
we're looking into it, and uh, you know, Israel is
investigating in good faith, like they knew that she was
a lot Like I think we knew that time. But
it's like that the ninth day, like after they started,
you know, committing wark rhymes, they like they knew what
(42:35):
their intent was fully, they they knew that Israel was
bent on full scale destruction of Gaza from day one.
Speaker 3 (42:43):
It's so fucking evil. It is so evil. Like now
that the ceasefires happened, people are posting videos of like
all of the martyrs of Gaza and like the people
that the stories that reached us that we and like
there's so many that I remember and those people are
gone and it's because of these fucking assholes. Yeah, so evil.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Yeah, like you another detail from behind the scenes, Like
you need to go through tons of red tape to
use the word condemn around like Israeli settlers demolishing Palestinian
homes in the West Bank. Like they they're officials who
are like trying to trying to just say that the
US condemns that, like and it took them like weeks
(43:28):
and like they're they're doing it like because it's a
horrible war crime, but also like from a self interested perspective,
being like this is a terrible look, like all the
stuff that people were saying during the election, like this
is going to be bad for you, and just getting
ignored or told it's too late to change a decision. Yeah,
(43:49):
it's so.
Speaker 3 (43:51):
Bad at their jobs. In addition to being bad people,
they're just at their jobs. Also a side note, even
though the ceasefires happened and I'm still concerned, but I
want Gazans to be happy, the West Bank is still
getting violated, so keep that in mind.
Speaker 1 (44:09):
Yeah, the West Bank is seems like it's the next
phase of the plan for Israel Is to like try
and take that over.
Speaker 3 (44:19):
And they don't allow concrete into Gaza, so like how
are they going to rebuild? Yeah, like that's insane.
Speaker 1 (44:25):
But yeah, it's just the Democratic Party. It's very frustrating
because they were so incompetent and passive and weak and
also just evil. You know. It's not just like that
they were insufficiently good at getting Israel to stop like
they were on board with this vision. Yeah, and so
(44:47):
now it makes Trump look like he's a genius because
he's just says actually, I don't want this because it's
a bad look for me and is able to like
make more progress than Biden was.
Speaker 3 (44:58):
But also he was also so helping set up the
conditions that led to October seventh, like through everything he
did while he was president, Like he's they're all just
playing a game. That's why they sat together, That's why
it was. If they really thought he was a fascist,
would they be like glad handing him? Would him and
(45:19):
Obama be chatting it up? You know what I mean?
Like I don't know.
Speaker 1 (45:23):
Yeah, when your two options are people who fund an
arm a genocide and person who like made it possible
in the first place, but then like temporarily stops it
because it's a good pr look for them, it might
be time to like take a step back from like
strategic thinking about how we win the next election and
have the like maybe we're the bad guys conversation are
(45:44):
Web sketch.
Speaker 3 (45:47):
I love that sketch so much. I reference it all
the time, and it is more relevant now than ever.
Speaker 1 (45:54):
Like the good guys who people were rooting for in
the last election, that we were rooting for in the
last election, these they were the ones who heard Nanya,
who say he wanted to, you know, do a hiroshima
in Gaza, and we're just like, all right, like, how
do we get people off our back while he does that?
So I don't know. Yeah, you can't watch like children
(46:14):
reacting to news of the ceasefire and celebrating without feeling
like a swelling. But I don't know. Yeah, even if
we want to temper our hope with like knowledge of
how America always let Israel do whatever it wants, I
don't know. If it gets people some hope, they certainly
fucking deserve it at this point. Yeah, yeah, all right.
And finally, there is a historic blizzard warning happening in
(46:38):
like Texas and Louisiana right now, which is abnormal here
that Ted.
Speaker 3 (46:45):
Cruz, you might want to buy your tickets out.
Speaker 1 (46:47):
Now get to Kang Kun's stat my man. But this
is yet another sort of we've talked about the disruption
of patterns that have held for like hundreds of years
in the global you know, weather systems that are now
being disrupted by globalism, by and feminism, mainly feminism, but.
Speaker 3 (47:08):
He's feminist, guy jobs. And now there's blizzards in the South.
Speaker 1 (47:12):
Yeah, Like, so a lot of the climate reporting on
the LA fires is pointing to this like thing they're
calling the whiplash effect that happens. Like so, first of all,
climate scientists seem to be the people to be listening
to in all cases, but especially when it comes to
these like natural disasters that are harming us and you know,
(47:34):
burning people's homes down. But like there's a climate scientist
Daniel Swain of UCLA who wrote a blog post on
January fourth, at the beginning of the week warning that
a high end offshore wind fire event Manfold and Soco
this week, and people like him have been writing about
this kind of whiplash effect where the warmer weather makes
(47:55):
it so that more and more precipitation is dumped on,
like when there's a rainy season in the winter, like
it gets really super rainy, and so there's tons of
plants that grow. And then when it's dry, like it
gets much drier, like super dry. And so that's what
like this kind of whiplash thing where it's like the
(48:18):
extremes are more extreme, is caused by climate and it
is like what is causing these fire conditions? And I
feel like we're seeing that now with this polar vortex
going down to the south, which I in a way
that like I didn't totally understand, but kind of doing
research into it, I guess the explanation is that there's
(48:40):
like a spinning polar vortex on the at the very
top of the globe that keeps like all the Arctic
air up there. But as it gets warmer, it like
it's like a spinning figure skater who like if you
like put your arms out, you slow down. Like as
it slows down, it like starts letting cold air out
(49:01):
further and further, and so like cold air starts shooting
down to like Texas and like places that didn't used
to have it. And again it's like, you know, a
direct result that has been predicted by climate scientists. It's
just nobody's really been listening. But anyways, now we're gonna
like see more weird apocalyptic shit. But like also like
(49:22):
fun in some cases, like the Atlanta getting snow was cute.
Speaker 3 (49:27):
It was I mean, what people were doing on social
media was cute. Yeah, for sure. There was like somebody
who took their dog for a walk and the dog
just like climbed into their hoodie because they were like
what the fuck is there? Or like people like trying,
like seeing snow for the first time, which was really sweet,
but also in general, this is not what's supposed to.
Speaker 1 (49:49):
Happen, right, it doesn't happen here. Yeah, put a dog
crawling into a hoodie, Well we'll take it. We need
we need some.
Speaker 3 (49:58):
This is our are on band TikTok. The dog crawling
into the hoodie is what we're latching onto.
Speaker 1 (50:06):
That's right, all right, Paula Vigan, allam, what a pleasure
having you as always? Where can people find you? Follow you?
All that good stuff?
Speaker 3 (50:13):
Okay, listen up, folks, this is what I need. I
am on two shows at Sketch Fest in San Francisco
this weekend. If you live there, please buy tickets. If
you don't live there, tell someone you know who lives
there to buy tickets. I'm on Facial Recognition comedy on Saturday,
and I'm also on Comedian Clash on Saturday, hosted by
Zech Gang member Jackieth Neil. So it's going to be
(50:36):
a really great show. Facial Recognition is going to be
an amazing lineup. We got a partner on Charla on there.
I'm really excited, So please buy tickets so we can
sell out. So the next year, we can have like
bigger venues, more people, bigger things. You know. Yeah, we
comedians only need tickets sold. That's what we need. We
(50:56):
do the social media thing because we're mentally ill and
we need tickets sold. That's there you go, So just
buy tickets, make us, make us continue doing this despite
not having insurance. Okay, just buy tickets. But thank you.
Speaker 1 (51:10):
There is like gang step up. Hope to see you
out there. That would be that would be dope. All right,
those are some of the things that are trending on
this Tuesday morning. We are back tomorrow with a whole
last episode of the show. Until then, be kind to
each other, be kind to yourselves, get your vaccines, get
your flu shots while they still while they still exist.
(51:30):
Don't do nothing about white supremacy. And we will talk
to you tomorrow. Bye bye,