Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's going on the internet. And welcome to this afternoon
edition of the Taco Bell. We're trendermant home. My name
is Miles. I'm joined with Brian the editor. Hi Brian,
Hi Miles Man. We're here to tell people things are
not tense. I know some people think things are tense
just because the way we're talking to each other. Things
(00:20):
are not tense at all. It's t wendesdy do you
even think that? Oh wait, it's not Wednesdays. Damn man,
I don't even look. I have this typical this is
the thing. I don't know what day it is. Ever,
it's Tuesday, July ninth. Okay, twenty twenty four. Here are
the things that are trending. As the title would allude to,
there is a new development in the world of Taco Bell.
(00:42):
They are they're launching a pop up retirement home for
young people and presumably because eating Taco Bell for your
whole life will make you prematurely feeble and incontinent, but
for those of us that just want to be there
for the vibes, myself included. They're calling it the Canteens
like the fucking villages in Florida, and it's available to
(01:04):
Taco Bell members or something reward members over the age
of twenty one, and there'll be like a you can
have a stay. There'll be activities like golf, aerobics, pickleball,
and early bird dinners where you can eat your your
case ida four thirty.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah, as someone who has briefly been retired or lived
as a retired person.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
What do you mean by that unemployment?
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Uh No, I just lived life real slow on a
beach for a year.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
You live people, not moss okay?
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Uh and uh it's I don't know how people live
like that, like.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Rinton meat, the same thing over and over and over
and over and over again.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
It's wild how quick the monotony sets in. So I'm like, well,
you people won't Is there an age cap on this?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
No, they're not going to experience it because I imagine
you get a bunch of Taco Bell freak out people together.
The last thing they're doing is like we should cut
in early. They're gonna be like, I'm fucking I'm doing
molly at the pickleball court and I got a three
layer burrito in my hand. That's what that feels like.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Yeah, eating dinner at like four point thirty like, I've
done that, and it's it's tough.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
What the fuck do you do with the rest of
your doing? But you got to go to bed by seven?
But get your ass in bed by saying there's nothing
else to do? What are you a fucking tweaker? Because
imagine going to bed at seven? I mean, look my
grandma when she was like a hundred, she was going
to bed at eight.
Speaker 2 (02:42):
I get when you're like, you're just but I'm like,
there's this hundred.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
How do we end.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Up at this culture where the goal is to toil
for your entire life and not have any fun and
save all your money to when you're old and you
can't do shit. Yeah, and then you just post I like,
I don't like trying it. I'm like, why do people
do this? Why is this the goal? And why is this?
(03:10):
Why do people physically.
Speaker 1 (03:12):
Found yourself kind of accidentally living in a retirement community.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
It's basically it was an accident. It wasn't on purpose,
not like flex and you're like, wow, this crypto No,
I was still working on But it's just like my
life was the energy, yeah, the pace, Yeah, it was
very slow, and it was a lot of old people
around it's it's.
Speaker 1 (03:28):
Like, look, I love all things Taco Bell, and there's
something like maybe pressing about this where obviously like everything's
going to consolidate into like three companies and like conceivably
we would be living in a Taco Bell retirement home.
Speaker 2 (03:42):
Well, I mean, we've all seen Demolition Man. We know
that franchise, the franchise Wars. We all know about the
franchise Wars.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
God, that's it's so weird that we're that's probably the
thing we're closest to and is the franchise Wars. It's like,
of all the of all the movies, I'm like, they
had something Marco Brambia bro Yeah, the Shell franchise Wars. Yeah,
I get it. Prescient, prescient. Next thing that's trending Disneyland. Now.
(04:14):
It turns out that the largest bargaining unit of Disney
workers in California. That means everybody custodians, ride operators, you
selling merch whatever. No, that's a different union technically, just
so you know, that is a different union. They're actually
in the union. They voted to unionize with Actors Equity
(04:34):
Association back in the goofy. Also under that bargaining unit,
any character, okay, or someone who dances in the parades.
Uh huh. Also Donald Duck union eligible huh mini two okay, alright,
the whole roster. Like you're like bringing up like ancillary characters,
(04:57):
the Crows from Dumbo. They're like, well, they weren't the best.
But what about those racist Beyers? Yeah? Were they racist? Oh?
In a song of the song on South, Yeah, splash Mountain.
My shorthand for that is just calling it splash Mountain.
I have to always remember it's called Song of the South.
And I called them the Splash Brothers, this bargaining unit.
(05:19):
They announced today that a strike authorization vote is scheduled
for Disneyland cast members and the results are expected to
be announced by July twentieth. This is fourteen thousand workers
at Disneyland. This is Disneyland, California, Adventure, Downtown Disney, the
Disney Hotels. They've been in negotiations since April, asking what,
(05:41):
basically what all workers have been asking for since the
dawn of capitalism, but especially in our hot union labor
summers of recent memory. Fair wages, you know, fair attendance policy, seniority, increases,
safe parks for cast members and guests, that one's a
little bit like whoa you're advocating for the yes now
is a n like these places need to be safe
(06:02):
for the guests too. The guests, well right now, I
mean the thing that they've definitely filed unfair labor practices
is things like they can't wear like their union pins
at work, or they're being intimidated like very normal, you know,
clamping down on workplace unionizing kind of stuff. But this
(06:23):
is what the one of the spokespeople from the bargaining
committee had said, quote, we won't accept less than what
we deserve because we know our value to Disney. The
theme parks profits come from our hard work making a
trip to Disneyland a magical experience for guests. By undermining
our rights, Disney has only made harder our fight to
help our guests and keep our parks safe, which is
(06:44):
why we are compelled to take a vote next week
on whether to authorize a strike after our contract expired.
With this strike authorization vote, we will ensure Disney hears
Disneyland's cast members voices. Damn they I don't think you
can hand a little fucking strike that you like that
that that ship runs on fucking cast member labor. So
(07:07):
uh yeah, I'd imagine this will be solved quickly. I
don't think Disneyland is that gangster with it. I know Disneyland,
Disney is a company, is quite cheap, but I guess
I don't know. I mean, you're just gonna get a
bunch of You're gonna get a bunch of scabs in
to bring the magic. I mean they probably would, but damn,
that would be fucking wild to say, like you need
an entire hotel staff, you need entire people to run
(07:29):
downtown Disney like, and it's not like a factory or something.
It's like there's a way to do things, like you
can't be like, oh yeah, where'd you work before? It's like,
oh I was a scabbin at the John Deere factory.
It's like, great, well, you're in charge of doing Rise
of the Resistance and launching all the rides safely and that.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Yeah, and ay ruining the magic, which is I assume
a skill.
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Well, they just grimmed to think of like how expensive
Disneyland is and how much people still like covet Like
the Disneyland Fan only trip is sort of like the place,
like the way to spend all of your hard earned
money and then just having that with the backdrop of this,
like this kind of unfair labor shit is very American.
So again, much success to the Disney Workers Rising Bargaining Committee.
(08:17):
I hope you get what you are owed and you
get a fair contract. All right, let's take a break.
We'll come right back to talk about some other stuff
right after this, and we're back NASA. I want to
(08:39):
talk about NASA. We're going to talk about Gladiator too.
Don't worry, Brian, we are going to talk about Gladiator
the trailer. But I did want to talk about this
because I know you're you're a man of science. You
like science stuff, and I do too. I like space stuff,
and I don't know if you remember, like a little
over a year ago, NASA was like, we are looking
for people to pretend they're on Mars for a fucking
(09:00):
years straight, no contact. You are in this fucking simulated
Mars base because we need to understand what will happen
to the human brain, the human body with certain effects.
So it was called the Crew Health and Performance Exploration Analog.
It just ended and this was where four crew members.
I believe it's an engineer, an emergency room doctor, a nurse,
(09:21):
and I believe another chief scientist. I believe I may
have messed up one of those roles. Anyway. They live
in a quote three D printed habitat with a twelve
hundred square foot Mars like sandbox where they'll perform simulated missions.
It's the longest analog that NASA has ever attempted. I
was like, okay, but like, it's not space like, so
(09:42):
you're not going to get that part. And then as
I read more about it, I understand what they're saying.
They needed. NASA basically wanted to learn how to establish
possible conditions for future Mars operations and also, wait, where
is the quote I was looking for? Also investigate how
factors like die it available to astronauts might affect their
immune systems, and how isolation might affect their health as well,
(10:05):
and controlling the control of the crew's diets, environment and activities,
the research team can understand how all these different factors
affect each other. I turned, it didn't end with them
killing each other?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
So where did they Where did they they had to
simulate a barren wasteland?
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Where did they Where did this experiment take place?
Speaker 2 (10:26):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
And in Houston Texas.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Baby, Oh that makes that great space center.
Speaker 1 (10:31):
Well they're not even outside though. If you look like that,
that barren wasteland of Mars is like a completely controlled
tented with like printed on graphics to give you the
feeling of Mars or someone's weird apartment with a lot
of sand on the floor. It's really into a Mars aesthetic.
Speaker 2 (10:48):
Just somebody somebody who has like seven cats, and they
just don't know how to keep that shit clean.
Speaker 1 (10:56):
Literally literally, maamn, bro it's fishy and here what the
fuck is going on? But yeah, they it ended. It
sounded like it was great. Uh. The doctor that was
part of the mission said that flew by fast. Another
one of the participants who was like the scientist said,
it's like, wow, just hello quote, it's actually just so
(11:16):
wonderful to be able to say hello to you all.
So they came out all right. The thing I didn't
know was that, like the other part is that to
simulate it, their only contact with the outside world was
through like a twenty two minute delayed like comms unit,
which makes sense because that's how long it would take
to transmit the messages. But I was like, oh, that's
do you have a conversation then like, what's the if
(11:38):
you just probably have to get it all out in
one go and then wait, it's probably more like email
like because you can't just be like.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
Yes up, yeah, you can't just be flipp it with
your nothing with you nothing chilling on Mars.
Speaker 1 (11:52):
I'm waiting for them to respond, hopefully they think that's cool.
So yeah, I don't have much success to figuring out
how to live on Mars. Will it work? I don't know. Yeah,
we won't see it.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
But fine, I mean, yeah, this is a very important
thing that you have to sort of understand and lock
down for long term space flight, is are these motherfuckers
going to get space madness and kill each other? Yeah,
that's a very big concern before you even get to
the physics of being.
Speaker 1 (12:24):
In space getting shipped there.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
It's like, can we lock four people in a tin
can and sh it's going to be chill?
Speaker 1 (12:31):
But it's like, isn't it hard? When you know? It's like, bro,
if I really wanted to get like, if I was
really starting a bug out, they would probably let me out,
you know what I mean? Like the missions of failure,
They're like, no, you're gonna have to deal with someone's
violent outrages because they've they've they've succumbed to the experiment.
Speaker 2 (12:45):
It'd be funny if somebody did get space madness in
Houston and.
Speaker 1 (12:49):
They're just like, they're like, hey, man, sorry, man, just
deal with them. Man, that's murders. Everybody with a murdered,
everybody with a space ax. Yeah, it becomes like the
New Stanford Prison experiment. Yeah, like analog and you're like, dude,
that's not dude, we have to stop it after fourteen days.
But yeah, cool, Uh would you do something like that?
(13:09):
I mean, I love the Moen younger.
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Yeah, when I was younger, I might have been interested
in something like this. Yeah, but I'm I'm a creature
of habit and unless they're gonna let me bring my
steam deck and some weed to Mars, like, I'm really
not interested.
Speaker 1 (13:29):
I mean, like, they have weed on Mars. It's kind
of it's kind of booty the weed kind of it sucks,
but it's there. Yeah that I Meanwhile, they're like, uh,
you know, engineer Brian, we needed you to sort out
how to grow crops on Mars, and it looks like
you're curing a bunch of cannabis. It's like, yeah, got
a pretty good yield, like three pounds off of these plants,
(13:49):
so yeah, it would be good for a little bit.
She last me a while. Next up Gladiator too, Gladiator
to colon chronic shirtlessness, chronic shirtlessness and screaming. The trailer
it's mostly shirtless dudes like that are either bloodied or
sweaty's just going aah like with like fucking epic you know,
(14:14):
trailer music behind.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
And as we know, shirtless dudes sweating and yelling is
a draw for dudes, a lot of dudes. Yeah, that's
like like the the the beauty standard for men is
enforced entirely by men.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
Yeah, right, women are like very forgiving, like with looks.
Dudes like you better look like joked Maximus mixed with
fucking leonitis, dude, or get the fuck out you soy
sponge man.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
Yeah, so all the ancient Rome, ancient Greek dudes, all
the uh you know, like I picture a lot of
Joe Rogan fans going to see this.
Speaker 1 (14:55):
Oh yeah yeah, I mean look, I'm no Joe Rogan fan,
but I'm this looks like a fucking spectacle. It looks
like Gladiator with way more money. And there were some
pretty gigantic battle scenes. This looks like some pretty gigantic
battle scenes. I don't think this is gonna be good.
But you got Denzel Washington. That's the one thing where
my white man be my instrument.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
I'm like with Denzel because he's he's gotten to a
well what's it? Okay, here's here's a question, Miles. Has
Denzel ever acted? Not like Denzel? No, he's like even
the category of movie star. Like I know, I know
he's a good actor, but when you look at him
(15:38):
in movies, he just he's he's never his character, like
I don't know the name.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
No, it's just the characters that he plays. It's just
Denzel Glory. Is Denzel in a Union Civil War outfit?
Virtual Denzel like a pilot uniform virtuosity, He's like a
cop fighting Russell whoa Russell Crowe virtuosity?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Huh interesting, he's and but but in training day he's
a bad, bad cop because he wears a beanie.
Speaker 1 (16:08):
He got a little Scully on, so you don't know
what he's up to. And he smokes cigarettes. Yeah, so
there he is. Gladiator too. Got to see it, should
love it? Really, Scott, just go rest On your lourels, man,
what are you doing? I honestly, it's funny. I really
stopped checking out with really Scott after Gladiator, and.
Speaker 2 (16:27):
It's funny like hearing you checking him after Prometheus. That
movie was so baffling. Why don't they just make the
Aliens come to Earth? Am I the only one waiting
for the aliens and alien to come to Earth? I
want to see little Xeno mor running around a cul
de sac.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
That's what kind of made the Drastic World the sequel wild,
when that t Rex was busting up San Diego. Yeah,
which I'm like.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Dude, they keep making the same, essentially the same movie,
and I'm like, dude, you originated this shit, and you're
just you just reh old shit.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
I mean, I don't get it. That's where everyone's resting
on their laurels, as it were. But anyway, Gladiator to
Shirtless Boogoloo coming to a theater soon and then finally
Texas Spectrum is trending because Spectrum the second I believe,
the second largest provider for Internet in the state of Texas.
(17:23):
As of this recording, the entire Internet in the state
from Spectrum has gone out like their service has gone out. Yah,
you get better internet on Mars actually probably yeah, I
mean shit, I'll take a twenty two minute delay, like
even if it is something, because it is at least
it's delayed, it means it's working. But yeah, this is
obviously fallout from Hurricane Barrel. And yeah, I hope, I hope.
(17:48):
I mean people have cell phones, so I guess they
can kind of do something. They won't be totally bored.
A lot of the memes that people are like posting,
they're like it's like, fucking uh, what's that? What's that show?
Little House on the Prairie, Like they're like, wow, Texas,
right now, everybody's in the in the pre internet world.
I think it'll be okay, but you expectrum. God, this
(18:09):
is what happens when it's like you only got two
fucking companies everywhere you go to do shit.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
Yeah, it's pretty it's pretty wild how long this is
been allowed to go on.
Speaker 1 (18:21):
Yeah, we have this ridiculous duopoly. Like I like that
one guy said, I said a doctor's appointment, but they
couldn't build me because their spectrum Internet is down. They'll
figure that part out. They're likeye, don't worry, We're still
going to make sure you pay us that money even
though our internet's down. We'll do it on paper. So anyway,
those are the things that are trending. Oh but quickly,
will you watch Gladiator too? Just on the record.
Speaker 2 (18:43):
Uh, that is something I'm gonna skip in the theater
and I will snatch it out of the air.
Speaker 1 (18:50):
Yep. That one scene though, when they were filling up
the coliseum with water and then doing like ship battles
that folk, that was cool to my like brain. I
was like, dude, there's like a big bathtub and then
but people, then they put sharks in it where they
get sharks. Don't fucking you don't got to worry about that.
Baby's Gladiator this show. These are Roman sharks that were chilling,
(19:14):
And don't worry about what kind of irrigation system they
had to flood the fucking base of the coliseum to
turn it into some kind of ocean simulator.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
Yeah, yeah, I think I'm gonna I think I'm gonna
just wait on this one, and you're.
Speaker 1 (19:27):
Gonna watch it to wait till I text you and
I go, bro this ship the first scene it because
you know, the first thing's gonna be fucking stupid. It's
gonna be some kind it's gonna be an absolute fucking spectacle.
Not to again, not that it's the movie's gonna be good,
but I'm like, damn, that's a funk. I spent a
lot of money.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
I will it will admit it does look pretty wild,
like there's a.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Lot of shit going on. Like there was a like
is there a Maximus exhibit at the museum, because at
one point there's like, oh, this is Maximus's ship and
it was like mounted on a wall like he was
like like Michael Jordan or some shit, like a oh
you know what I mean. I was like a little shrine.
Speaker 2 (20:03):
Yeah, I know it's that part, but I was really
more I was like, oh it zel, Like I just
love that. He didn't even attempt a goofy accent. They
just gave him a caesar and a couple of earrings and.
Speaker 1 (20:17):
He did like a dude from Brooklyn and he just yeah,
he sounded like he was like from like he somehow
has cigarette. He has like somehow has a cigarette that's
even this pre cigarette like modern day cigaret. He's got
a lucky strike, Yeah, just one behind his ear. Someone
posted like a thing of him and said my Gladiator,
and it's pretty much what we are going to see,
(20:39):
but one of our great actors. All right, anyway, that's
gonna do it for us. We will be back tomorrow
with a brand new episode. Until then, take care of yourselves,
take care of each other. You wear a mask at
the vaccine. Don't you know about white supremacy? And we'll
be back to talk about all kinds of sheet tomorrow later,
but