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October 29, 2024 18 mins

In this edition of The Trendy Complexifier, Jack and Miles discuss Jeff Bezos' "complexified" explanation for killing the Washington Post's Harris endorsement, Trump already falsely claiming election fraud (meanwhile, Trump supporters are setting fire to ballot boxes), the return of the viral dress whose color no one can agree on, the Vatican's new anime inspired mascot, Subway getting sued for skimping on meat and much more!

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello the Internet, and welcome to this episode of the
trendy Complexifire, which is complexify, the term that Jeff Bezos
came up with because he is telling the truth. You
can tell he's telling the truth because he's making up
smart sounding words that don't actually mean anything. Yeah, my

(00:24):
name is Jack O'Brien. Have we met? And that over
there that is Miles Ray.

Speaker 2 (00:31):
Oh you're Jack.

Speaker 1 (00:33):
I'm jackokes a lot, I'm Jack O'Brien. Yeah, Hey, do Miles?
Good to be on time? The anchorman reference? Yeah, always
do you say all?

Speaker 2 (00:43):
Good to be on top?

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Yeah? Good to be on time? Man?

Speaker 3 (00:46):
La Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, you're referencing the zoom window
the stacked video I am are you also?

Speaker 1 (00:51):
Actually you're always on top of me?

Speaker 2 (00:53):
Wow? Well good?

Speaker 3 (00:54):
But yeah, Dodgers babe, Look, it could be a wonderful
night except for the local of Los Angeles, when there
would inevitably be a homebrew pyrotechnic shows going off if
the Dodgers end up winning tonight.

Speaker 1 (01:07):
Homebrew. Yeah, it is fun. It's a good time, little pops.
We need it.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
We needed it. We needed it in La. We needed this.

Speaker 1 (01:15):
If we win. If if we win, we haven't had
anything to celebrate in a long time. I do just
want to give the context of Jeff Bazins's So Jeff
Bezos told the Washington Post, we're not endorsing a candidate.
You guys are gonna fucking burn me, is what I
suspect it went like when he told them the decision

(01:38):
this is also being linked to the La Times' decision
to not endorse a candidate, but that one is actually
at least the daughter of one of the owners is
saying that that one is in relation to the Democratic
Party complicity and the genocide in Gaza, so that that

(01:59):
feels a little different. That's what Wait, that's the explaination
of Times. That's the explanation for the La Times given
by the daughter of the owner.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
It's kind of a weird.

Speaker 3 (02:10):
So then, oh, so he was saying, I can't stand
idly by while you endorse this candidate.

Speaker 1 (02:17):
That's Alec Erickott Sanis was like that, don't treat these
two things as the same thing. Former guest Alec Hurrickott
Santas was like the La Times making that stance versus
Jeff Bezos making this stance with the Washington Post. He
was saying he believes those to be two different things.
I haven't dug into the reality behind the La Times one,

(02:41):
but we we didn't really need to dig too deep
for the reality behind the Washington Post one because Jeff
Bezos came out and was like, guys, let me explain
what's going on here. And the part that contains the
word complexifire is I once wrote that the Post is
a complex afire. For me, it is, but it turns

(03:03):
out I'm also a complexifier for the Post. That is
two sentences that are in his op ed explaining why
they didn't do an endorsement. He says they didn't do
an endorsement because the media is very unpopular, and he

(03:24):
just thinks that it's not the reason they're unpopular is
because they're so partisan and they just need to be
more both sides about the whole thing.

Speaker 2 (03:36):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, great great.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
The entire op ed written by Jeff Bezo stinks like shit,
I would say stinks like both shit and bullshit, all
the type of It's an amazing potpourri of all the shit.
So he like it's definitely because he wants to kiss
the ass of the eventual Emperor God in case he

(03:58):
wins and his assumption that he's saying is they don't
trust the media because they endorse presidential candidates, and definitely
can't be that people don't trust the media because they're
owned by the richest man in the world and have
been shown to be biased by his whims, or because
they will, you know, refuse to honestly report on a

(04:19):
genocide as it's happening, and definitely not because there's a
fascist who is out there. Yeah, I don't know it's
so he's claiming it's because they picked aside in the
presidential election and only presidential elections, by the way, because
the Post has endorsed other candidates in other races this year,
so it's only the presidential election. Which that's the detail

(04:41):
that like kind of puts the lie to the whole thing,
because like obviously small local races don't matter to him
as a you know, the second richest person on the planet.
Like that's not going to affect what he's able to do.
The one that's going to affect him is being on
the bad of Trump when Trump becomes America's first dictator,

(05:03):
like first full blown open dictator. But I just this
also reminded me of one of the anecdotes from the
Susan B. Glasser article about Trump's billionaire donors, and it's
about how like this person basically got access to Trump
and lied to him about like how Amazon operates with

(05:24):
the US Postal Service and was able to use Trump's
hatred of Bezos as the because Bezos owns the Washington
Post to set worst terms like trick Trump into thinking
that they were getting too sweet a deal to Trump,
like the article says, Trump's staff tried to figure out

(05:47):
what Peltz's interest was in the matter. Pelts's the billionaire
turned out that try on fund management. Peltz's asset management
firm had recently taken a three point five billion dollar
stake in Procter and Gamble, the consumer products Gi pelt
an activist investor who buys his way into corporate leadership roles,
often by prompting proxy fights, considered Amazon's purchase of Whole

(06:08):
Foods a threat to his business when to Seber twenty nine,
twenty seventeen, as a result of him telling Trump all
these untrue things about how good Amazon had it with
REGARDSS to like how the Post Office trees him, Trump tweeted,
why is the United States Post Office, which is losing
many billions of dollars a year while charging Amazon and
others so live little to deliver their packages, making Amazon

(06:30):
richer and the post Office dumber and poorer, should be
charging much more. So it's just like these billionaires can
just lie to Trump get a better deal from him,
and so this is what they're all going to do.
They're all going to kiss his ass. Like billionaires are
going to line up and kiss the ass of Donald Trump.

(06:51):
We're not going to have the same thing where like
corporations are like now more than ever, we're going to
stand with the American people than ever.

Speaker 2 (07:00):
You can get fucked because you were we are.

Speaker 1 (07:03):
On his side. Yeah, exactly. So, I mean we're already
of corporatocracy, and all of the corporations are going to
fall into line with Trump once he starts ruling.

Speaker 3 (07:13):
Any publicly traded company, that's for sure. I could see
maybe private companies having a bit more of a spine,
but anything that's traded on Wall Street, there's no that's just.

Speaker 1 (07:21):
Going to be like, you're gonna make the line go down.
So look for us on Patreon in the future. Uh.
Trump is already claiming fraud in the election. It's not
like we had any question whether he was going to
pull this shit. It was obviously just a matter of when.
And the answer is exactly a week before the election.

Speaker 2 (07:43):
Yeah, good time. These are timed.

Speaker 3 (07:45):
These are timed truths that he truthed on his social Yeah,
I believe probably about them.

Speaker 2 (07:50):
Weeks ago.

Speaker 1 (07:51):
He truths that they received thousands of potentially fraudulent voter
registration forms, the mail in ballid applications from a third
party group.

Speaker 3 (07:59):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
And this is on top of Lancaster County being caught
with two six hundred fakes ballots and forms.

Speaker 3 (08:06):
Fuck all this noise, because there's real news about actual
ballot boxes being destroyed by split on fire like that's
and it's happening in places where they're like there's gonna
be there's a bunch of Harris votes in there, fucking
light it up. That's maybe deserve well, I mean, obviously
he's not going to pay attention to that because he's
you know, been for the last four years slowly motivating

(08:29):
people to do more and more extreme shit like this.

Speaker 1 (08:31):
So yeah, yeah, but he's got to start the argument
early that like they're the ones getting fucked over because
it does feel like increasingly a part of their strategy
is like violent intervention on behalf of him with regrets
like either how voting takes place, like voter intimidation or

(08:54):
how votes are counted and collected, and you know, pull
worker intimidation. So it's just I don't it truly feels
like there is a real possibility where something horrible happens.
Like you mentioned, there's already like attacks on like people
putting incendiary devices in what person? I guess it's one

(09:15):
person who did it in Portland and Vancouver, Washington. Uh
so it's gonna be a real fucking mess out there.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah.

Speaker 1 (09:27):
But in better news, the viral dress is bad.

Speaker 2 (09:29):
Thank god, thank god, this is vivid.

Speaker 1 (09:33):
This is just a yeah. I just love that the
dress has re emerged on social media. When we read
it it Miles again, is it black and blue or
is it white and gold?

Speaker 3 (09:44):
I never saw a white and gold dress. I'm not saying,
I just and it always looked black.

Speaker 1 (09:49):
I was able to eventually see a white and gold
dress after like working really hard, But I don't with
your therapist, Yeah, it's been years. Do you know what talk?

Speaker 2 (10:01):
It is white? And gold also.

Speaker 1 (10:03):
So that was twenty fifteen when our biggest concern was
whether or not some strangers dress was black and blue
or white and gold. And it's gone viral again because
a woman found quote the dress at a yard sale
and shared her experience on TikTok. So. She was interviewed
by Newsweek and said the dress was one of the
first items I saw when I walked up to the

(10:24):
yard sale. I immediately screamed, Oh my goodness, you have
the dress. The owners and the other neighbors had a
nice laugh at my expressive reaction upon seeing it. I
don't know why she speaks like a seventh grader's book report,
but my expressive reaction upon seeing After being inundated with comments,
Rubinstein decided to settle the nearly decade old debate once

(10:48):
and for all and showed people that the dress is
actually black and blue, which we fucking knew.

Speaker 2 (10:55):
Oh my goodness, you have the dress.

Speaker 1 (10:58):
It's her reaction seems to assume that there first of all,
that there is only one of the dresses, and second
of all, that it has magical properties, which.

Speaker 3 (11:09):
Right, it's like, sorry, I hate to do this to y'all,
but here we this is unadulterated there it is black
and blue sorroom.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
So anyway, shout out to her. I want to live
inside her brand for the next three weeks. Maybe it
feels like a nice place.

Speaker 3 (11:24):
Now enjoy it, now, enjoy it now, enjoy it now,
because if you fast forward, there's reality on that side.

Speaker 2 (11:30):
Right now. This is that liminal space where we're just.

Speaker 1 (11:35):
Like this again.

Speaker 2 (11:36):
This is the last Tuesday before whatever happens.

Speaker 1 (11:40):
Do you just give me the lecture from the end
of click? Uh?

Speaker 2 (11:42):
No, is that what happens in it.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
Let's take a quick break. We'll be right back and
you're back. Would you do a click? Would you have
we talked about this? Would you fast forward to the next.

Speaker 3 (12:03):
I think I mentioned it a couple of weeks ago
and you said, oh, you want to do a click?

Speaker 2 (12:07):
And I was like, I haven't seen those lesser Sandler films.

Speaker 1 (12:10):
Oh yeah, I haven't seen it, but I'm aware of
the premise.

Speaker 2 (12:14):
Oh, it's like a time traveling remote.

Speaker 1 (12:17):
You can fast forward.

Speaker 2 (12:21):
Stop.

Speaker 1 (12:21):
So if you stop, everybody does no, I don't know,
but keeps fast forwarding too much. And then he's like
missus his old life, and it's really a commentary on
how we use our phones.

Speaker 3 (12:39):
Just don't yeah, don't abuse benzo diazepines, and you will
also cease time traveling.

Speaker 1 (12:45):
Got to wake up to take more benza. I gotta
wake up from my Benzo hayes to take more benza.

Speaker 2 (12:50):
That way I can fast forward another week.

Speaker 1 (12:52):
But yes, Miles, big news out of the Vatican, thank you,
the first White House, the President of the world, the post.
So this is kind of the theological equivalent of the
meme of Steve Boushammy holding a skateboard? Is that also
a Sandler movie? No, that's thirty Rock, that's right.

Speaker 3 (13:11):
No.

Speaker 1 (13:12):
Yeah. The Vatican has announced a new anime inspired mascot
named Loose l u c which will which it feels
like they're halfway to Lucifer, but it will help them
quote engage with the pop culture so beloved by our
young people, and so what now they rather than being

(13:37):
more open minded, they've just been like, what if we
had a doll that homophobic? Bring kids? They're just like
little anime characters with crucifixes.

Speaker 3 (13:49):
This looks like some chat GPT bullshit, Like this is
so uninteresting looking.

Speaker 1 (13:53):
Yeah, it sucks, but cool, And they have a like
little flying angel baby thing. But the little flying angel
baby thing has a baseball at do they have do
they have names?

Speaker 2 (14:06):
Like or what are the other ones called? There's like
Loose and then like Ifer.

Speaker 1 (14:10):
And Bzl the Morning Star. H This is not the
first time the Catholic Church has awkwardly tried to appeal
to nerds. Lest we forget the time they worked with
Marvel to create a comic about Pope John Paul the
Second I don't know if we don't know if we
all remember that, but that was big news in my
Catholic Oh, I have.

Speaker 2 (14:31):
The Life of Pope John Paul won one issue one.

Speaker 1 (14:35):
Oh wow, Yeah, that's huge.

Speaker 2 (14:37):
It's going for under retail right now.

Speaker 1 (14:40):
It was just about his life. But like the cover
really makes him look They make him look very handsome.

Speaker 2 (14:45):
It looks like George W. Bush playing the Pope for Halloween.

Speaker 1 (14:49):
But yeah, he's kind of giving too much sexual charisma
for a pope. I think in the way they've drawn him.

Speaker 3 (14:57):
Well for how sexually repressed the people and then the
people of Cloth are, I can imagine it just it
just like it's just great energy around them.

Speaker 1 (15:05):
Yeah, Brian the editor points out, Lucifer means light Bringer,
So probably named after Lucifer and the Catholic Church. You know,
they probably get that kids like to be a little edgy. Yeah,
oh Lucifer.

Speaker 2 (15:23):
It our neck feels broken.

Speaker 1 (15:26):
Oh god, all right.

Speaker 2 (15:27):
Terrible Sopranos reference.

Speaker 1 (15:30):
Yes, and then this is a big news for our podcast.
So we talk about subway every once in a while,
but this is serious. Subway is being sued for skipping
on the meats. Skipping on the meats.

Speaker 3 (15:49):
Class auction lawsuit for quote, grossly misleading customers with ads
that depict far more meat in their sandwiches than what
you actually get. And that's true because I mean, they
also looked better when the U gouge. But that's a
whole that's an old, old school subway head take. But yeah,
it's the last time I went to you gouge.

Speaker 1 (16:10):
Yeah, I remember the U gage. That was when they
really slopped it on there. Man.

Speaker 3 (16:15):
Oh yeah, they really slapped that turtle meat or tuna
or whatever it is.

Speaker 1 (16:18):
Who cares it tastes like tuna. People online keep posting
videos and they are talking about subway sandwich shrinkage. Wow,
it's it's not shrinkage because the sandwich isn't sting. It's
it could be like shrink flation, but yeah, shrinkage is
meant to refer to George Costanza's dick.

Speaker 3 (16:39):
Yeah, yeah, obviously, Yeah that's just a big misstep, big misstep.

Speaker 1 (16:42):
But it's yeah, I mean it's pretty hard to argue
against this, like when you see like the Today Show
covered it and it just went from commercial to like
somebody showing what they were just given.

Speaker 3 (16:56):
It's yeah, here, it's it is a it is a
good clip because I mean, I think it's just a
like a trope in our culture, is like what I
ordered versus what I got kind of shit.

Speaker 1 (17:06):
But like my wife is always doing Instagram posts about
that with REGARDSS to me, me is that I think
it's cute, but I haven't watched them all the way.

Speaker 3 (17:17):
Oh my god, you are not working that jacket. Like
the guy in the ad was Jack, just give it back.
But yeah, here's here's a here's a bit of sandwich
skimping audio what and.

Speaker 2 (17:28):
The suit says, look, subway customers have noticed.

Speaker 1 (17:32):
Okay, people are just showing sandwich and it is just
it looks slic bread. It looks like the bread, subway bread,
like the subway roll that has been stepped on.

Speaker 3 (17:44):
Yeah, like fully, like to the point where I don't
even know if this is just a loose role that
they didn't even put anything into, because I don't even
see any gaps for toppings or fillings in there.

Speaker 2 (17:57):
So yeah, okay, yeah, Dark.

Speaker 1 (17:59):
Day subway, A two subway. It's fucked up. Yeah, it's
yeah again, like they first they do the turtle meat
and I am on board, but then they do some
shit like this. You know, it's all fucked up now
to quote a great philosopher.

Speaker 2 (18:21):
Yeah, I hope it's sorted out.

Speaker 1 (18:22):
Yeah. Anyways, that is going to do it for this Tuesday,
October twenty ninth. We are back tomorrow with a whole
last episode of the show. Until then, be kind to
each other, be kind to yourself, get the vaccine, get
your blue shot, don't do nothing about white supremacy, and
we will talk to y'all tomorrow.

Speaker 3 (18:42):
Bye bye, Go Dodgers.

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