Top 10 of 2024: #5 Humanzees to Basement Eels 04.12.24

We are counting down the top 10 episodes of 2024, as voted by our listeners! Up next, #5: Humanzees to Basement Eels, Bike Lanes = Votes 04.12.24

In episode 1658, Jack and guest co-host Blake Wexler are joined by comedian and author of The Advice King Anthology, Chris Crofton, to discuss… Guy Created Underground Eel Pit In His Basement, More People Are Commuting To Paris By Bike Than Car, Rich People Getting Second Passports and more!

1. Guy Created Underground Eel Pit In His Basement (Shoutout to Amber @girlwhon3rds on Twitter for sharing this one.)
2. More People Are Commuting To Paris By Bike Than Car
3. More people travel by bicycle than by car in Paris, according to new report
4. French Revolution: Cyclists Now Outnumber Motorists In Paris
5. Paris to become 100 percent cycling city
6. Rich People Getting Second Passports
7. Humanzee: The Human Chimp

LISTEN: Already There by Taylor McFerrin, Robert Glasper, & Thundercat

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Oh hey, there, it's me Jack. You've caught me unwinding,
enjoying a large goblet of delicious eggnog, untangling my brain,
gaining five to fifteen pounds of eggnog while we unwind.
Here at Daily Zeitgeist, in addition to publishing our normal
year end episodes and Santo's University, etc. We've decided to

(00:25):
take the opportunity to count down the top ten episodes
of the year published over the next ten days. The
ten days that will be off Monday through Friday, two
weeks in a row. How Jack, how did you guys
determine the top ten episodes? They were all equally incredible. Well,
we used a little something called democracy. Ever heard of it?

(00:48):
Depending on when you listen to this episode, that might
not be such a rhetorical question. But anyways, we let
you vote on the most listened to episodes of the
year to see what you liked best. And you're about
to hear your answers. Just ten bangers right in a row.
We've got a trending episode in the mix. We got
a lot of good ones and at number one, well,

(01:11):
let's just say you'll find out, especially if this is
the number one episode we're putting this same bumper at
the start of all ten, so we hope you enjoy it.
We hope you enjoyed listening to this year of TDZ
as much as we enjoyed making it, and we will
see you all in twenty twenty five. We hope you
have a RESTful holiday. Hello the Internet, and welcome to

(01:38):
Season three thirty three, Episode five of Hi Guy Stay
production of iHeartRadio. I didn't hear what you said there, Blake,
but yeah, it's sounded demented.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
I guess I would say it was Queen. Whatever it was,
it was appropracing.

Speaker 1 (01:55):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (01:55):
Good.

Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yeah, we don't run blue on this podcast. We are
half halfway to Satan. This is our half Satan birthday
on season three thirty three, and uh yeah, what a
run it's been. It is a podcast where we take
a deep dive into American shared consciousness. And it's Friday,
April twelfth, twenty twenty four. Of course, my name is

(02:19):
Jack O'Brien ak Party. Jack is in the pod tonight
recalling stories from the Daily Zite Guys Party, Jack is
Gonna change your mind about JFK Space and two side
That is courtesy A Christy Amagucci, MANE got my shoulders

(02:39):
moving little party rock anthem AKA. That's one of a
lot of times, like Christy Amagucci man, great taste of music.
Great like will remind me of a song that I
hadn't heard in a long time. I'll go back, I'll
check it out. I'll be like, man, this song fucking
ghost like this is a song that I heard on
the radio a couple of times, but it's like a
really you know, good song, right fun. I went back

(03:01):
and I listened to party Rock Anthem by LMFAO to
prepare for this one. And it's not like I was
like this is this is worse than I remember I
was listening to it like that. It's just like it's
like somebody like humming a song. They it's like somebody

(03:21):
humming that song like because they remember hearing it twelve
years ago or something.

Speaker 2 (03:27):
It's like you can hear the lack of talent. Yeah,
you know what, like that's part of the sound. That's
the baby.

Speaker 1 (03:33):
Can hear the nepotism and that's what's good.

Speaker 3 (03:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
Anyways, great AKA. Thank you to Christy Amaguchi man. As always,
I'm thrilled to be joined in the second seat by
today's very special guest co host with the mo host,
a brilliant comedian, writer actor. He's got the sparkle, folks,
as our guest today told him, it's got that sparkle

(03:58):
about him. Hilarious, He's chaotic, He's riding a recumbent bike
in short shorts.

Speaker 3 (04:03):
He's Blake Waxfle.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
This is Blake Wexler aka the white Ford Blako aka
Blake Gone Me.

Speaker 3 (04:15):
Blake, b.

Speaker 2 (04:17):
Dz Zlumpers, Babe By. They are.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
Wow.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
Thank you to Paul Garaventa.

Speaker 1 (04:32):
Went so high we couldn't even hear it.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
Shout out Paul. And also can I give another shout
out real quick? May I have the floor for one
quick shout out? I want to give.

Speaker 1 (04:41):
Is it to Aha?

Speaker 2 (04:43):
I would never no no no, no, no, no no, but
shout out to Aha. Also shout out to producer Victor
and also kind of a happy trails on he He
has been doing such a good job of booking this show.
But I think unfor fortunately he is made. I would
call a fatal booking error of having myself and our

(05:06):
guests simultaneously on the show on the day that O. J.
Simpson died.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
No less and he knew that has been saying for
a while. Just he said, keep your eyes open April eleventh.
I'm just saying, you know, Nicole Brown Simpson is going
to get some revenge, if you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (05:26):
Yeah, And we didn't we we we didn't know what
the fuck he was talking about. Clue.

Speaker 1 (05:31):
We were like, please stop earthquake. I don't know, but yeah,
he called it. I mean, it's a it's gonna be
a mess, folks. I'm just putting that out there right
now because we are all broken the fuck up about
oj passing. It's i'd say, you hug your kids a
little bit tighter, but they're at school, so I just

(05:52):
I'm just sitting here kind of breast, not knowing what
to do with myself.

Speaker 2 (05:56):
I picked up kids at school today to hug them, to.

Speaker 1 (05:59):
Hug that, just anything, and should that should be legal?
I know it's not, and uh, you're in a little
bit of trouble, but it should be legal on days
of tragedy like this. Blank, We're thrilled to be joined
in our third seat by another hilarious stand up comedian actor.
This one's also a musician, this one who has a

(06:22):
Pitchfork seven point four rated album.

Speaker 3 (06:27):
Yeah, I hate, I hate.

Speaker 2 (06:28):
To mention it, and what is that number?

Speaker 3 (06:30):
You do hate to hate every time? It's not that good.

Speaker 1 (06:39):
It is really good. Like it's better than a lot
of albums that I really like. You know.

Speaker 3 (06:44):
Yeah, I beat a will Co album, one will Go album.
I beat like Sky Blue Sky. Yeah, and that's like
will Co fans are mad about, you know, all the
will Co albums. A little bit, I was better. I
was rated better than one of the lesser will Co albums. Yeah,
but uh, you know in general, yeah, I'm I can

(07:06):
also scientifically prove I'm better than will coo in a
bunch of ways if we had time. But but I
do have. I got a seven point Pitchfork. Yeah, So anyway,
I don't like to mention it too many times.

Speaker 1 (07:19):
You're tweety It doesn't sound as tough winger bullying tweet
someone named tweety unfessionally.

Speaker 2 (07:26):
That was my problem with Sylvester of the Cat.

Speaker 3 (07:28):
They have serious they should do merged with Sylvester the
Cat on it. That's a good I couldn't agree more.
I don't think he likes that though. When people probably
tweety bird with him.

Speaker 2 (07:41):
He hates it.

Speaker 3 (07:42):
No, he's like, yeah, he's like I think he's a
he's a very powerful man. You know, I don't think
he's anyone. Yeah, you know, he comes on friendly, but
he is Jeff Tweety and he's got legions of annoying
white man who follow him around.

Speaker 1 (08:00):
What if you got what if Jeff Tweety had you disappeared?
That would be the most embarrassing way to get offt
just Jeff Tweety off to you.

Speaker 3 (08:08):
I can believe it. He would have like he would
have one of the guys in Less Savvy fav do it.

Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yeah, let's just say a ghost is born after this
podcast where you were talking.

Speaker 3 (08:18):
Oh god, because exactly. Yeah. Yeah, and now you've revealed
Jack that you are one of his followers. I am,
I am legion.

Speaker 1 (08:26):
All right.

Speaker 3 (08:27):
I'll tell you quick, quick funny story, quick funny story.
I was in a coffee shop when Sky Blue Sky
came off out. I've also been in a coffee shop
when every album came out, but.

Speaker 1 (08:38):
Where you hang.

Speaker 3 (08:39):
But I like the guy behind the counter was like
one of these guys who loves will go like thinks
they're like, you know, I don't know really important for
some reason. Yeah, and I think they're good. You know,
I think they're good. Yeah, you know, I like them
a lot. I mean I've gotten a little bit tired
of them. But but I mean they put out I
don't know, one hundred records or something like. Yeah, way
inside projects. Yes, some side project with a son, you know,

(09:02):
and it's called tweety. I mean the guy's a megalomaniac.
But anyway, the uh anyway, he I would love to
get in a feud with him. It would be so
good for my social media number. Oh my god, I
could just get to yell at me once. I would
get I don't know what I would get with something. Yeah,
probably four or five more followers on on threads who

(09:24):
just antagonized you the whole time. Yeah. So that anyway,
I was in this in this store and and and
sky Blues guy was like a disappointment. And that's this
guy was like, he just said to me, the guy
behind the counter. I was like, oh, what do you
think of this new Wilco record or whatever. I don't
even know what I was talking. I just talked to
baristas because I'm lonely. I was like, oh, and he
said he said, it's it's it's disappointing when you when

(09:48):
you really when you know what they are capable of,
which I thought that was really funny to me, like
really that.

Speaker 1 (09:56):
My parents would have said to me.

Speaker 3 (09:58):
Yeah, it was just a really weird like and I
knew what he meant, because like there's a certain class
of like music fan that likes like when will Cope
put a lot of computer noises in their songs, like
they were like, now we're getting somewhere, you know what
I mean? And then like Skyblos Guy was sort of
just like regular rock and roll without as much beeping
or like they're like, yeah, we know that they're capable

(10:19):
of war. And I'm like, you mean more computer noises.

Speaker 1 (10:22):
More beeping?

Speaker 3 (10:23):
Yeah, like you mean like dusty computer. You mean like
you think music's advanced if it uses machines. And I
didn't get into it with him because I just wanted to,
you know, I didn't want to have a fight.

Speaker 2 (10:35):
Well, you know, cold War kids don't use the machines.
They just it's just all talent and vocals. You know
nothing about music. I've noticed that the Cold War kid
that's my most current reference. Also the Cold War kids,
the recorder. Yeah, that's right, they never did that ship.

Speaker 1 (10:54):
But anyway, book, this podcast is coldbrew got me like,
this book is the Advice King Anthology. Uh. He's the
only person who will go off on a ten minute
sidebar during his introduction. It's Chris motherfucking crafted.

Speaker 3 (11:10):
Hey, what's up? I never get a a KA, No
one ever gives me one, So I'm gonna do one.

Speaker 1 (11:17):
I'm sure there's like a dozens.

Speaker 3 (11:18):
I've been through the I've been through the desert on
a horse named Chris Crofton.

Speaker 1 (11:24):
There it is, so it's pretty good America. Not Neil
young All, just.

Speaker 3 (11:33):
Another Chris Crofton in the wall.

Speaker 1 (11:37):
Uh huh oh, you're good at that.

Speaker 2 (11:39):
Chris Crofton to you, Chris, come on, man, we're gonna
get sued.

Speaker 1 (11:45):
We're gonna get sued by those old sisters. Made that one.

Speaker 2 (11:49):
My god, money you.

Speaker 3 (11:50):
Room at the hotel.

Speaker 1 (11:52):
Chris Crofton, I mean that one works really well.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
Actually I wrote all those you did.

Speaker 1 (12:00):
I told you, I told you guys. Just he has
a seven point four on pitch for it. H Chris,
how how are you doing?

Speaker 3 (12:08):
I'm doing great. I'm here in Nashville, well Madison technically,
which is like sort of like the vape sales district.

Speaker 1 (12:16):
Uh huh, right right, and.

Speaker 3 (12:18):
But you know it's fine. I'm like having fun over here.
You know, I'm just had my birthday yesterday.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
Hey, Chris crofton to you.

Speaker 3 (12:26):
Thanks turned fifty five, which is like, you know, not
a birthday you just necessarily out loud. Yeah, you don't
want to say out loud. There's not like a lot
of people are going to be like there's a lot
of people just went you know, but whatever, you know,
I got to like, I'm an oversharer. I'm not going
to start lying about my age. I like to tell

(12:46):
people the real deal. Yeah, like grunge style. I was
raised by Eddie Vedder, and Eddie Vedder tells the truth.

Speaker 1 (12:56):
I mean, that's no point right there, justin we can
come back in a year, man, Eddie tell the truth.

Speaker 3 (13:02):
If he doesn't anymore, he doesn't anymore though he has
a facelift. He has a facelift, Eddie. Did he get
a facelift? Yeah? Man, come on, I mean it's well done.

Speaker 1 (13:11):
But he's still he got one, you know, oh really.

Speaker 2 (13:13):
Yeah he got I mean I mean, well the best
one I've ever seen.

Speaker 1 (13:17):
Does he have those like otherworldly eyes that like Wolf
Blitzer's face lift was just like, all of a sudden,
his eyes looked like he was like from David Lynch's
Dune or something like. His eyes just like had these weird,
like shadowy blue like features to them.

Speaker 3 (13:34):
I think Eddie looks like he just looks like what
he is, which is like a guy who gave up
on the whole, you know. I mean he kind of
gave up on the grunge thing, you know, fighting Ticketmaster
and stuff like all that stuff like that.

Speaker 1 (13:46):
I was, you know, like, I was like, that's what
you were here for.

Speaker 2 (13:49):
I like that guy.

Speaker 3 (13:50):
Yeah, I like the guy was all mad. Now he's
like mister you know, he's just like mister Chicago Cubs
or whatever his.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
Pro junk feet.

Speaker 3 (13:57):
When I saw it, when I saw he made a
big speech. I saw him in LA before I moved,
and he in twenty twenty two and he made a
speech about how he didn't think that the allegations against
Bill Murray were true because he's hung out with Bill
Murray and Bill Murray's rules. He was super nice, and
I was like, he went on a long thing about that,
and I was like, man, Eddie, you need to drink

(14:18):
glass wine on stage, you dumb man.

Speaker 1 (14:21):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (14:23):
I mean you just turned into everything.

Speaker 1 (14:25):
Guy who I've met, you used to.

Speaker 3 (14:27):
Rail against people like what you're Yeah, I mean just
it was like, dude, you fucking you did it and
you fucking got too famous in all right. Yeah, So anyway,
Eddie Vedder would say he was the old Eddie Vedder
that I used to like. What a set he was
fifty five. And I'll tell you one thing on a blog,
on a blog or on some fucking one time. It
went on that reddit they have for a daily zeitgeist.

(14:48):
That the subreddit mistake, right, I know, I know, but
I wanted more. I wanted more praise. I was looking
for more praise now. I couldn't get enough on the regular,
on the underneath, the underneath Instagram was enough, propt did
a good job. All this Craft is number one fever
or whatever. I said, Yeah, and then I went on

(15:09):
Reddit and crafted one guy is always put I always
put that under Sweeping the globe and Instagram, Instagram, it's always.

Speaker 2 (15:21):
There's a past.

Speaker 1 (15:22):
Jack Craft truly couldn't possibly anyway.

Speaker 3 (15:25):
So I went on got damn the subreddit, and the
subreddit said, uh that they said that it was sad
that I was fifty three, So I can only imagine
like this guy was like, I think it's kind of
sad that he is doing this at age fifty three.
And then and then someone else said, what's he supposed
to be doing? I know he's like, what else is

(15:46):
he supposed to be doing? And then the guy was like,
I don't know, you know, but I know what he thought,
because he thinks fifty three year olds have a yacht
or yeah, you're supposed to have a yacht or some ship,
and he.

Speaker 1 (15:57):
Should be hanging out of his golf club. Yeah, country
club and anothers.

Speaker 2 (16:02):
Do that too, But you don't just podcast. You do
also hang out at your golf club as well.

Speaker 3 (16:08):
Who can you.

Speaker 1 (16:09):
Pull your yacht up to your golf course?

Speaker 3 (16:12):
And yeah, I run, I run a Yeah I run.
I run a whole network of gambling sites. I do
a lot of things.

Speaker 2 (16:19):
You do a lot of interest. I would argue that
wins might be the best thing to drink as a performer,
like at a rock show where because liquor that will
take hold of you too quickly, beer will bloat you
and you'll like burn during your performance. Where wine I

(16:39):
think might actually be the smoothest thing that you can
if you're gonna do it.

Speaker 1 (16:45):
Maybe it would have been better if Eddie Vedder had
been bloated during his speech about how his fellow celebrity
was cool to him and so therefore it can't be
a predator.

Speaker 2 (16:55):
Yeah. Also a speech that he didn't even make a
comment in passing.

Speaker 3 (17:01):
It was rough. It was rough stuff. And he also said,
like he called a woman a bitch, like he was like,
he's like he was wearing sparkle jacket and some other
someone in the audience was wearing a sparkly jacket, like
he was wearing a sequin jacket, and he said, like,
don't steal my thunder, bitch. And then he felt so
bad about it because his old like activist self like

(17:22):
was he wasn't drunk enough to forget that. So he
started saying like women needed to equal pay and stuff
right after that, and it was like, man, you are
a fucking.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
Mess equal to buy different jackets than me.

Speaker 1 (17:33):
He was just so embarrassed.

Speaker 3 (17:34):
He was so embarrassed he said bitch when I mean
no one really he was. And then he went on
and he's immediately said like women's pay was going up
or something, and it was like, my god, you are
too drunk, buddy.

Speaker 1 (17:47):
You know you've you've alienated the tweety mafia and now
the veterans.

Speaker 2 (17:56):
And you've alienated you should take all that out.

Speaker 1 (18:00):
Sorry about that, bitches and sparkly jackets. You can take
that out coming for your ass.

Speaker 3 (18:04):
But I'm fifty five. I don't know what that means.
I'm fifty five, so I get to get you to
fifth the movies or something for half bridan. I don't
know what happened something. It's the new forty seven. Yeah,
fifty five is the new forty seven. So you're your
your threats?

Speaker 1 (18:16):
Is that where we're at now? In the Yeah?

Speaker 3 (18:19):
I mean, it doesn't matter.

Speaker 2 (18:20):
No one can stop me, no one.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
It's always it's always very convincing when there's a pause
in between stops.

Speaker 3 (18:28):
No one can stop me. I'm on hinge, right, bab
I'm on hinge.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
Me. Yes, he's on hinge. I'm gonna add that to
your intro. Actually, next time, all right, Chris, we're gonna
get to know you a little bit better in a moment. First,
we're gonna tell our listeners some of the stories we.

Speaker 2 (18:44):
Have no concept of who you are.

Speaker 1 (18:48):
We're gonna tell our listeners some of the stories we
would have gotten to if we had different people in
our second and third seats, So we would have talked
about a guy. This one I think we might get
to because I think Chris, you might be interested in
this one. This is a story about a guy who
created an underground eel pit in his basement that one
of our listeners, Amber at girl who nerds on Twitter,

(19:12):
shared with us. He has, like you know how basements
will sometimes have like a manhole cover type thing that's like, oh,
there's a sump pump or something under there, a rain cistern. Well,
he had a rainwater cistern under there and converted it
into a large fish tank for American.

Speaker 2 (19:31):
Eels, not not these, not these foreign eels, wide and
blue eels.

Speaker 1 (19:38):
Yeah, they were caught in Maine. He specifically says, we
have some good news about Paris changing their culture around
cars to being a bike city, So we'll talk about that,
maybe some conversations about rich people getting second passports, something
about the new Civil War movie an Ai Pin that
is here to solve none of your problems. All of that,

(20:01):
not really none of that probably maybe a couple of
times we'll see, but before we don't get to that stuff, Chris,
we do like to ask our guest, what is something
from your search history?

Speaker 3 (20:12):
I got a pretty good one this time. Okay, if
you've been listening to my podcast, colebrew got me like,
you probably have heard me talk about this. In fact,
you definitely have, but I have to bring it up
just in case you guys familiar with the human zee.

Speaker 1 (20:25):
The human zee. This is like a missing link.

Speaker 3 (20:29):
Type humans the human chimpanzee hybrid, which there is I
don't think there is one, right, but like cryptozoology, But
in the nineteen seventies, like these, this group of people,
like not very many became convinced that this one chimp
was a half man half chimp because he walked around

(20:51):
and he didn't walk on all fours like a chimp.
And he also had like a kind of look like
a person, kind of looked like me and like me,
like I don't know, pale, like yeah, maybe pale, I
was thinking pale. And his face was like hairless, like
where a shimp's face is hairy, so like he could
see more of his face, which anyway, he's like Basically,

(21:12):
these people just decided that he was half human because
he looked like kind of like half human and because
he he walked on his let on his hind legs,
which he was brought up. He was in a New
Jersey being raised by people who trained chimps for you know,
to fire cap guns and roller skate and stuff like that.

(21:32):
You know, like a chimpanzee training camp for like movies
or TV shows or whatever. And it's always like two
nutballs who just like you know, who just are nuts,
you know, have these chimpanzees running around their yard and
they teach him how to smile and stuff by you know,
god knows what technique and uh yeah whatever, putting like
a pose pin on their nuts or whatever and and

(21:57):
or whatever.

Speaker 1 (22:00):
Or whatever.

Speaker 3 (22:03):
But whatever, it's an unpleasant business, I'm sure. And anyway,
this this family had these chimps and then they had
this one named Oliver, and he was like they were like,
he's half human because he walks in a way that
we can't teach apes, or we can't teach our chimps
to walk. We can teach him to walk a little bit,
but we have to, like, you know whatever, make sure
they're doing it or whatever, you know what I mean.

(22:24):
We have to like make them be look to be
next to them, like, you know, with the stick or whatever.
And I don't know if it's with the stick, you know,
but not to hit him. Maybe not to hit them,
but just like to you know, put them under the
chin and remind him that they need to be walking
or whatever. Yeah. Whatever happens to chimps when they're in
New Jersey instead of the fucking jungle. So so, so anyway,
there's suburban in there's suburban and there in suburban New

(22:46):
Jerseys sitting and like a lazy boy instead of in
the jungle where they're supposed to be. So this family
decides and then somehow this lawyer gets wind of this
chimp that's supposed to be half human. And I don't
know how in the world there's like some grapevine in
nineteen seventy seven where people just like word of mouth
are talking about this half human anyway, this.

Speaker 2 (23:08):
Right, yeah, you know what it was is this the
zoologist was probably screaming at the top of his lungs.
Can we please stop these rumors about him being half human?
I'm the only one with access to his mother. Can
we your ruining by family.

Speaker 3 (23:21):
Well there's a freaking yes, there's this.

Speaker 1 (23:23):
This guy definitely fucked a chimp, sucked.

Speaker 2 (23:25):
He sucked it.

Speaker 3 (23:26):
So this documentary is just unbelievable. You gotta maybe I
can link it or send it to Justin or something.
It is like, uh, these guys, it's the whole documentary
is just based on these people who think this thing's that.
They're like, even after all of the stuff where it's like,
this thing's there's no proof this thing's anything but a
chimp with like no hair on his face because of
some you know, well he's got mange or not mange,

(23:49):
but like some kind of genetic things born with no
hair on his face. Just because of things born with
no hair on his face doesn't mean it's half. But
they're like, this is definitely a half human half this
is definitely human z. But nobody offered any proof, but
they were still like, I still think he is. Like
there was just like three people trainers. The trainers thought
he was a half human. This piano player guy, this

(24:12):
pianist who tried to buy him, but he got out
bid by a lawyer, and the lawyer took him to Japan,
where the thing was like, you know, he went on
TV and more like athletic shorts and ruled an exercise
bike and like you know, and this guy was like,
it was supposed to be researched. Those Japanese fucked me.
I was supposed to get we were supposed to do
serious research. And they had them on TV.

Speaker 1 (24:31):
You know you like rip anyone's fingers or faces human
z And.

Speaker 3 (24:37):
They have this British narrator. I don't know what showed
that this was on the sid it's a do you
know sci Channels had the Sci Fi Channel.

Speaker 1 (24:45):
Maybe s C I no, I think Sci Fi Channel
changed its spelling to s Y s Y for some reason.

Speaker 3 (24:52):
Okay, list from like two thousand and two. This documentary anyway,
it's absolutely wonderful. And then and they really go into
the main reason this this chimp had to be taken
out of the out of the training facility which is
really you know, a ranch house, you know, and had
to stop drinking wine. He's and also he's a human
because look he drinks a lot. He drinks a lot

(25:14):
of liquor. It's like yeah, Murray, yeah, Bill maher. Anyway,
and then there's one guy says like that he thinks
that he heard that his uncle worked at a lab
in the twenties where they definitely produced a human humanity,
And you're like, that's the same story everybody says about it,

(25:35):
you know what I mean. He's like, in the twenties,
my uncle worked at this lab in Pensacola where they
it definitely happened, they made one and they had to
euthanize it, you know. And it's like you could substitute
just Richard Gere in The fucking Hamster for any part
of that story. Whatever. You gotta find this documentary. It's

(25:56):
really good. It's really good.

Speaker 1 (25:59):
There's a new art film starring Jesse Eisenberg called Sasquatch
Sunset that it just like follows a family of sasquatch around,
like Jesse Eisenberg I believe is playing one of them.

Speaker 2 (26:11):
Nobody's just.

Speaker 1 (26:14):
That's right. It's Jesse Eisenberg and his original you know,
without the makeup that makes him look less like a humanity. Yes,
it's a I don't know, Like I remember watching that
Werner Herzog movie about the like Cave art like from
that's like some of the earliest culture that we have

(26:34):
of like prehistoric humans, and like one of the first
things that we ever drew was like half animal half human,
like I think it was a cat person. And I
think there's just a like fascination that's like built into
us that we just like want these creatures that are
like half human half animal like that that's just there

(26:57):
and what we will keep making it happen one way
or another. In our case, I think it's the like
we're our version of culture is more interested in like
half human half ape, and that's why we have the
obsession with like bigfoot and sasquatch and HUMANSI but you know,
past cultures have given us like were wolves or like

(27:18):
cat people.

Speaker 2 (27:20):
Was that the documentary where the cave art kills the
subject of the documentary at the end, was that then
eats it? Or is that a different that's a different one.
That's a different one. Yeah, okay, so yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (27:30):
I think I think you're thinking of a horror film.

Speaker 2 (27:33):
Oh no, grizzly man. I was thinking grizzly men. Yeah, yeah,
I apologize.

Speaker 1 (27:38):
Yes, of the Dakota grizzly man.

Speaker 2 (27:41):
Correct.

Speaker 3 (27:41):
Yeah, you said grizzly man. That's interesting.

Speaker 1 (27:44):
That's his family name.

Speaker 2 (27:45):
We should have like Cox it's my given name.

Speaker 3 (27:48):
You ever heard of Cosman? Yeah, they used to say
in the seventies, like they called like men like who
were like they called themself. I don't need to talk about.

Speaker 2 (27:57):
What's the one who drives the boat and crew? Is
that a Coxswain or is that a Coxswain? Con Imagine
the jokes.

Speaker 3 (28:04):
Imagine the jokes.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
That's why I had to quit crew. I couldn't handle it.
I was laughing too hard to imagine being the Coxswayne.

Speaker 3 (28:12):
Imagine how many jokes.

Speaker 1 (28:13):
Oh boy, they did do them the good deed of
making it co x s w A I N and
so that people like, no, it's not even that it's
cos right, and then laugh laugh.

Speaker 3 (28:27):
So anyway, check out this. Check out this humansy documentary.
It's a British guy doing the narration and he says
humans so many times is so great and it's so great,
and he just keeps saying that all anyone thinks about
is human z's and like he's like how scientists are
constantly thinking about humans's and I don't think that that's true.
And uh, you know, he just like made this this

(28:50):
thing like it seemed like that's all on the front
burner of human You know, all anyone thinks about is
humansis and uh, you know, I just I never even
heard of humans.

Speaker 1 (28:59):
I think they're really is a type of person who
is just born, built in obsessed with human z's and
like half human half I mean, like, I mean, we
have ferries, we have people who like identify that way.
So it's not breaking news. But I just feel like, yeah,
that's something that's just there. It's not unique to our

(29:20):
like weird time or whatever. We've just always had that.

Speaker 3 (29:24):
I feel like, well, I've thought about like, yeah, I've
thought about bigfoot plenty, but I don't think about I've
never thought about humanzi's at all until I saw this documentary.

Speaker 2 (29:32):
And uh now you can't stop thinking about it.

Speaker 3 (29:35):
Anyway, it's like just the one. I think the two
are related. I never thought about that. No, I never
considered a big question. I never thought that a bigfoot
was a was a like the son of a person
who had sex with a chimpanzee. Oh okay, But anyway,
I think it's funny when the middle class in the seventies,

(29:56):
there was a middle class, so people are thinking about
all these kind of things that are fun to think about.

Speaker 1 (29:59):
One time they got too close to the truth and
that's why they destroyed the middle class in the eighties.

Speaker 3 (30:04):
Oh, maybe that's what it is. I was just thinking about, like,
you know, these people could afford, like, you know, to
bottle feed chimps and stuff like in their ranch house.
Probably both of them were like driver's head teachers or something,
you know, they like somehow had enough of an economy
going that they could run to Chimp Preserve. No one's
got any money.

Speaker 1 (30:23):
Yeah, I've retired at fifty five. I just uh, yeah,
I've been a driver's that teacher for forty years and
uh it was a good money.

Speaker 3 (30:31):
How is you buy your house?

Speaker 1 (30:32):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (30:32):
I'm a driver's ed instructor.

Speaker 1 (30:34):
Oh yeah, that's a good gig.

Speaker 3 (30:36):
What are you gonna do with your extra money? I
think about I started Chimp Preserve's.

Speaker 1 (30:39):
Chimps out of smile and smokes the gar Yeah, oh
you got a house down the shore.

Speaker 3 (30:43):
Yeah. What year is this? Nineteen seventy six?

Speaker 2 (30:46):
Yes, And I hate this question, but why do you
have so many bottles of milk in the back of
your car? What is what?

Speaker 3 (30:53):
What is that?

Speaker 1 (30:54):
Oh? I'm so glad you.

Speaker 3 (30:55):
Asked heard Have I heard of one. It's all I
think about a funny.

Speaker 2 (31:03):
The guy too, is the guy who's like, yeah, you know,
like all these half men, half beasts, like the lockless
blockness monsters. Someone truly, you know, tried to fuck a lizard.
And then you know teodactyls. Someone tried to fuck a
lizard and wait, do you want to a lizard?

Speaker 1 (31:19):
Yeah, dinosaurs are obviously someone fucked a lizard. That's why
I'm standing up.

Speaker 3 (31:26):
Yeah, I wonder who fucked a whale and made the
lock ness monster.

Speaker 1 (31:30):
Yeah, forcing it in there. I never thought about that
at all.

Speaker 3 (31:41):
Fifty five is already a good year. That's right, baby,
I'm thinking about new things. This is this is the direction.
Things are heavy.

Speaker 2 (31:50):
He truly is.

Speaker 3 (31:51):
I'm thinking about new nonprofit things.

Speaker 1 (31:55):
Let's take a quick break and we'll come back and
talk about your underrated over it. We'll be read back
and we're back, and Chris Crofton, we do like to

(32:15):
ask our guests, and particularly you, especially you, what is
something you think is underrated?

Speaker 3 (32:21):
I was thinking alcohol or no overrated? Was alcohol? And
airplanes so underrated? Was underrated? Was how much Nashville sucks?
See what I did? Yes, how much Nashville sucks because
I don't know if you guys have been paying attention,

(32:42):
but the whole world has at this point been paying
attention to what's happening in Tennessee. And I'm just wondering
at what point the Justice Department intervenes in a state
that is violating civil rights or whether that's something that
at this point would be considered, Oh, we don't want
to get Republicans mad, you know what I mean, Like, Oh,

(33:03):
this is no time to make the Republicans mad, which
is like the whole I guess the whole future is
gonna be that we can't do anything ever because it's
gonna make somebody upset and then they'll be worse than
they were already, which is the whole idea of you know,
I don't know, we'll just like do some barbaric shit
at the border, so like, you know, instead of like

(33:24):
taking a stand against Republican policy, we're gonna, you know,
this this weird thing where we have to like appease
fascists as some way forward to get Democrats elected. But anyway,
I just think what's happening in Tennessee is so disheartening
that I want to move and I want to move

(33:46):
in the sense that everybody's gonna want to move out
of states like this. And I'm not kidding, you know
what I mean. I'm not kidding. I'm considering like this
is like Luxembourg, and like I don't know, I don't
know anything about what lu luxembourgs like.

Speaker 2 (34:03):
Case of Luxembourg, Luxembourg.

Speaker 3 (34:06):
You know who knows the familiar I'm not really familiar
with South America, So Luxembourg.

Speaker 2 (34:14):
There is an article in cs CNBC Yesimiami dot Net,
Yes I might where I get all my news.

Speaker 1 (34:23):
Yeah, just as you finished an article. It plays the
bo theme, but it's all about people being like how
the uber wealthy are investing in second passports to get
like to prepare themselves to flee the country. But they like,

(34:45):
first of all, it's not it's not in a thing
in an article that's like outraged about this. This is
in an article called CNBC's Inside Wealth newsletter, where they.

Speaker 2 (34:58):
I subscribe to that, so let me actually just it up.

Speaker 1 (35:01):
Yeah, they follow like the behavior of rich people the
way like gossip blogs report on Arian and Grande like
they're just like, oh what Peter TiAl do, Oh my god,
how's he spending his money.

Speaker 3 (35:16):
He bought a pool table that walks.

Speaker 1 (35:21):
And is humiliated when you play pool on it, which
is part of the fun for him. But yeah, basically
the luber wealthier collecting second citizenships, and that's you need
to be either extremely wealthy to afford it, or you
need to like have relatives who have dual citizenship or something,

(35:42):
otherwise you're kind of fucked.

Speaker 2 (35:44):
There's like a bunch of countries that make it easier
than other Like I think Portugal makes it fairly easy,
but it and by fairly easy, it's relative of in
order to get us citizenship, it's probably the most difficult
thing anyone could do in the history of the world.
But yeah, I have so us. Sorry, but when I
say that us at the wealthy, we have been doing

(36:06):
that where it is a thing. We also obviously have
disposable income to take a the flights to own second
properties in other countries too. You know, we've been doing that.
You all have just heard about it recently, but we've
actually been planning this for quite some time.

Speaker 1 (36:21):
You're Yeah, if you had been paying attention to our
newsletter about all the cool shit we get up to.

Speaker 2 (36:26):
For my Instagram account.

Speaker 1 (36:29):
It's not just it's not just a second passport. You need.
What what the wealthy are calling passport portfolios collections of
second and even third or fourth citizenships. And they specifically say,
like a relatively small number of Americans do renounce their citizenship.
So if you're not going to like pay a bunch
of money and like own a house in a foreign country,

(36:51):
you need to basically renounce your US citizenship, which most
people don't want to do. So they're just like doing
second second citizenships. So Luxembourg here we come, right.

Speaker 3 (37:05):
Well, yeah, like Luxembourg, Like I mean, I just mean,
like yeah, like if Luxembourg was nash was Tennessee and say,
I don't know, fucking some other country.

Speaker 2 (37:17):
To be really difficult what you're trying to do right now,
Just I've been in your position before. You just signed
yourself up for a very very difficult analogy.

Speaker 3 (37:25):
Anyway, I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna finish it.
But let's say you move. It doesn't even need I
don't even need to say that. All I'm saying is
I want to move to California because of people are
in a better mood there. People are in a horrible
mood in Tennessee, or and this is the thing, or
they are trying to pretend everything's fine, which is what
makes it even worse. Right, there's a divide happening between

(37:47):
liberals with property and liberals without property. Liberals with property
in Nashville are having the time of their lives on
one hand, because their property values have tripled in ten years,
so they all are rich on paper, but they can't
sell their houses. They can just like leverage it into
loans and things, but they can't actually move, so they
have to stay here because if they sell their house here,
prices in Nashville are going up so high that they

(38:10):
will immediately be priced out. Like if they sell their
house safe for nine hundred thousand dollars that they bought
for two hundred thousand dollars ten years ago, they will
then like they can't just go ahead by another house,
like you will not get a house, so you'll have
to leave Nashville. So they're not gonna leave because a
lot of them have kids and stuff, and I understand
that they're stuck here, but that means that they will

(38:31):
be unrealistically optimistic about what's going on because they just
have to be because they have kids and stuff. But
it's not it's insane to watch what Tennessee is doing
is not light. They are overtly doing very racist stuff,
like basically racism, like gabbling black people out of their

(38:55):
rights to speak in the legislature on a regular basis,
like in laughing in their faces white guys just pounding
gabbles and not letting procedures go on that are supposed
to go on for black legislators and they're just doing
that and laughing and like, and they're also they just
what is it TSU historically black university here? They the state,

(39:17):
the state of Tennessee withheld turns out they stole billions
of dollars that was supposed to go to that university
and they just took it over. They just they just
installed a white like they since they installed the new board,
they took over the college. Like the overt the the
things that are going on here are not normal. They're
not normal at all. And I think there is this

(39:38):
will for people to stay in this is normal. This
is normal, This is normal because you just don't want
it to not be normal. But at a certain point,
when you run away, you're actually smart you know, and
I'm just saying that that is how it feels in
Tennessee right now. For me as a person, doesn't have
any reason to be like sugarcoating it because I don't
have any I don't have to stay. I don't have

(40:00):
any family, my family here, but they're my family, you know,
they're just my regular family. Don't care about them. So yeah,
they whatever. Every man for himself. That's how my dad
taught me. That's how my dad taught me. As I've
many said many times, I.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
Thought you were referring to the fact that the Tennessee
Senate just approved a measure allowing teachers to carry concealed guns.

Speaker 2 (40:24):
It is that true. That's true, and also that's true.

Speaker 1 (40:29):
And also that's true.

Speaker 3 (40:30):
Yeah yeah, I mean also they like, yeah, I made
the point today, like they're always talking about how teachers
are pedophiles, but they also want to arm them.

Speaker 2 (40:37):
It's kind of confusing, right well, it is easier to
say arm the teachers than arm the pedophiles like that.

Speaker 3 (40:44):
Yeah, certainly, So anyway, I think they should just skip.
Why don't they just arm the kids. I mean, if
that's the really the idea, you know, the guns make
us safer. I mean, why why keep you know, why
keep incrementally? Yeah, anyway, I just think that's that's it.
It's just hard to get behind this like sort of
we're we're like doing progressive, progressive policies in Nashville in

(41:06):
this smaller and smaller area, and it's like to me,
it's just like and everyone's just sort of being food
ease and all these things that they want to do.
And they also want to get famous. Everyone here wants
to get famous. Everybody in America thinks they're entitled to
get famous, and they will not let it be interrupted.
I don't want to hear about bad news. I'm trying

(41:28):
to become a famous person. And we have a disease.
And it's not just America. The whole world is a
disease because the Instagram America though, but it is. You know,
it's like, no one's going to interrupt my my you know,
I'm going to be the next Willie Nelson and no
one's gonna stop.

Speaker 1 (41:48):
I don't care what beasts beast, mister beast, he's mister beast.

Speaker 2 (41:56):
Economy, He's he's his own economy.

Speaker 1 (41:59):
Who is He's a famous influencer on social media that
Uh all I all I know is I keep getting
these Twitter ads for him where he's like I locked
one hundred people in a haunted grocery store like saw
saw how long they could survive for? And yeah, yeah,

(42:22):
all right, all right you.

Speaker 3 (42:25):
Does he have a newsletter? I'm sure sign up for
his newsletter.

Speaker 1 (42:30):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (42:30):
So anyway, I just think that there's like I'm not
feeling like uh and I'm sure this is happening to
a lot of people, is that they're dealing with people
who are having varying degrees of a good time because
of if if if they own property, they're they're getting rich.
And if you're a non if you're a renter like me,
you are absolutely miserable. So there's just a divide and

(42:51):
these are people that used to be on my side.
And then it gets sort of into this sort of like, well,
maybe you should have bought you know what I mean.
It becomes like there's two kinds of liberals. Maybe yes,
your fucking fault. I mean, it really comes down to
because they don't want.

Speaker 1 (43:03):
To maybe you should have been a driver's ed teacher.

Speaker 3 (43:05):
They don't want to hear it, you know, at a
certain point, they don't and they'll just it's getting you know.
I just feel like at one point one of my
friends is gonna be like, you just should have made
more money, man, you know, like it's not really anybody
else's fault except yours, and that's frightening. Yeah. So I'm
just frightened that the bootstrapping is going to be the
next thing that's coming out of liberals mouths. Basically oh yeah,
and underrated or overrated. I was going to say, is

(43:26):
alcohol on airplanes, just because I think it's funny that
they keep selling this thing that makes them have to
duct tape half the passengers to their seats. I mean,
I really find that unbelievable.

Speaker 1 (43:37):
It's crazy. I will say, all right, this seems like
you're slightly uh you know, subtweeting Blake here.

Speaker 3 (43:48):
Why you love to drink on the airplanes?

Speaker 1 (43:50):
He's been he's been duct taped to the last three planes.

Speaker 2 (43:53):
But I do it myself. I ductate myself before I
ordered the drink style. Yeah, yeah, right, exactly.

Speaker 3 (44:00):
That's a good idea, Thank you. That's a good idea
you yourself, if you know you're gonna go responsibly, Like
at the end of those ads for alcohol, where they're like,
drink some responsibly.

Speaker 1 (44:11):
If they just had somebody duct taping themselves to a
radiator the first.

Speaker 2 (44:16):
Drink, disassembling their gun and putting in different rooms that
they're different.

Speaker 1 (44:25):
That's what I would have taken for me at the end,
to drink responsibly, to chain myself to a radiator.

Speaker 2 (44:30):
And I'm so stupid. I almost conjugated the words safe
to saves because in my mind, I'm like, wait, it's
the quarrel of safs saves.

Speaker 3 (44:39):
Am I.

Speaker 2 (44:40):
Yeah. I don't want to sound like a moron.

Speaker 1 (44:42):
But if you're robbing a bank and you were like
it is, take me to all of your saves and
they're like, wait what Yeah, well hold on, I'm sorry.
You know what I mean, asshole?

Speaker 2 (44:51):
Yeah, stop stop correcting me in my own home. Are
you gonna home and bade me? Are you gonna home
and bade me? I will, Actually I will agree with you,
Chris that drinking on a plane can be overrated because
for two reasons, one serious and one kind of this
is this is why, this is, this is why my platform.

Speaker 3 (45:12):
I like it.

Speaker 2 (45:13):
I like it. You get more dehydrated on planes because
of the altitude. So if you're drinking alcohol. It does
hit you and make you your hangover will be worse
the next day if you're drinking heavily on a plane.
And then Also one of my favorite stories is that
I had a friend who uh had was flying across

(45:34):
the country, got hammered on a plane and forgot that
he had driven to the airport. So when he got
off the plane, he was like, oh God, damn it.
I had to take an uber hobe and then he
had to uber back the next day to Lax to
retrieve his car like a true drunk idiot. It's one
of my favorite things. Yeah, I respect it. I respect
it too. He didn't drink and drive.

Speaker 1 (45:54):
Yeah, and that is admirable. Chained himself to the radiator.
I want to sleep.

Speaker 3 (45:58):
Yeah, I think like it's that's a very funny idea
that you preemptively like you like a dog putting a
thundershirt on or something.

Speaker 1 (46:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (46:06):
Yeah, you're like, listen, I know how I get. I'll
have I'll have a white wine spltzer. But I I
am aware of what is coming.

Speaker 1 (46:14):
You just have a mass text that goes out to
everyone in your phone. It's like I'm about to uh
so my phone has sensed that I just had my
first drink, and so everything that comes after this should
be taken with a grain of salt.

Speaker 2 (46:28):
Thing. I've also locked all my bank accounts and preemptively
filed for divorce with.

Speaker 3 (46:36):
Drinking on a plane is one of my favorite things
to do. But I know how I get, I know
how I get, Like, I mean, how much money do
they make off it? They have to, like they have
to do it. I mean they have to. They can't
let they can't.

Speaker 1 (46:46):
Just be like people who like it like it so much, right.

Speaker 3 (46:49):
But there's like there's like feces flying around the cabin,
like everybody's choking the flight attendants, like you know, it
just seems like at some point, like it's fodder for
fucking Fox News because they're like, look, civilization has gone
to hell, like you know, it's like and so they
end up being using these videos all to prove that
we need a dictator and uh, you know, so like

(47:10):
they said, just said, lose lose, lose lose situation, like
let's just stop selling alcohol on planes. I love this
stance because there's no way anybody like would get behind them.
Never never know, I know, because like but else somebody's
already fucking loaded up with Xanax and fucking Nike wild
shit when they get on the plane anyway, So that's
why their first drink hits them and they start screaming

(47:31):
about nine to eleven or whatever they do.

Speaker 2 (47:33):
Yeah, yeah, steroids. I mean I jack myself up on
an anabolic stero.

Speaker 3 (47:37):
Yeah, you're already. People are already all fucked begin with.
And then they have a fucking white wine and it
seems like a harmless thing to do, but combined with
the drug cocktail they've already adjested just to get through
the flight, they've they go immediately ape shit and try
and murder everybody. And then so I mean, then they
go around they would you like a drink? You know,
you know, like right next to the guys strapped to

(47:58):
the chair. Can I still get a drink? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (48:01):
You look, you guys look stressed out.

Speaker 3 (48:04):
But I promise I'm not gonna go crazy, So I'll
have a double jack a double, two doubles.

Speaker 2 (48:10):
I once asked for a double the flight attendant without
skipping a beat, because how about a single? And then
handle all right, you can't fight with the flight attendant.
After that, it's like no I need, I need a
double double.

Speaker 1 (48:24):
And could you pour it in my mouth so I
don't have to untape my arms?

Speaker 2 (48:27):
Correct? Thank you. That's all I have.

Speaker 3 (48:29):
Into Let's look into it. Let's look into let's do
some research on it.

Speaker 1 (48:33):
Like it's all a plan to get a dictator. Yeah,
look at how out of control all these people. What
if they weren't allowed to drink? Yeah, all right, well
that let's take a quick break and we'll come back
and just blow through all those news stories. In six minutes,
we'll be right back and we're back, and okay, guy

(49:08):
installed eel aquarium in his rain cistern. I just something
I don't even need to talk about this. I just
wanted to bring it to your attention, Chris. It seems
like a cool thing, like an underground eel cave that
you can just like build into your house. I don't
know if this jog's anything for you as a fan

(49:29):
of weird underground shit on YouTube.

Speaker 3 (49:31):
Well, I mean, I'm just I'm just I've gotten so
hooked on a couple of things now with just the
mind exploration and the guy who finds the bottles that
I I don't really I don't need any eels or
anything like that. But I I respect, like, you know,
anybody who's uh going to the trouble and I don't.
I don't. I'm not that kind of person myself. I'm
the kind of person who has a clip light and

(49:52):
you know, a milk crate and uh and and you
know in the YouTube and uh, that was my life,
you know what I mean, like in maybe a banana,
you know, on the counter. So there's not a lot
happening like as far as like decoration or anything for me.
So the idea of like putting an eel farm in
my basement is like it just from a labor standpoint.
I just think about it. Yeah, like I could be

(50:14):
I could be watching television during that time that was.

Speaker 1 (50:16):
A bit of a try hard Whereas like the people
who you kind of pay attention to are more people
who have a shovel and notice that there's a little
dip in a field and go and are like, yeah,
people used to shit there and drop their bottles.

Speaker 3 (50:30):
Yeah, I like to I like to watch them do it.
I don't want to do it. I don't want to dig.
I like to sit on my ass. I like to
write poems. They are one of the least you don't
need to exert yourself. And yeah, I like those kinds
of things. I like thinking, I like looking off into
the middle distance. Yeah, like I don't really want to
like fuck with eels, you know what I mean? Like,
and that's the problem. Is like when you have like

(50:52):
a significant other, like like a woman who you know
might be interested in a man that did some stuff.
You know, like I think that is a good idea.
Like I think a woman, even if she didn't like
the eels, might be like, well, this show's an initiative.

Speaker 1 (51:05):
Yeah, and she'd be right guessing this is not.

Speaker 3 (51:07):
Yeah, Like, look at this guy, this guy I just met.
He has an eel farm in his basement. I mean,
that's not what I ever really wanted. But I've been
divorced twice, and you know, slip beckons in this guy.
I mean, if he has enough money, if he has
enough money, he has enough money to be raising a
couple of chimps, and and he has this eel farm.
So this guy, I mean, you know, he's a driver's head.

Speaker 1 (51:28):
Instructor, so you read on this is this guy just
built his underground, subterranean eel farm for the ladies.

Speaker 3 (51:37):
Yes, as like a way to show that he is
motivated or because he's insane and has sex with the
eels in some way.

Speaker 1 (51:44):
Right, yeah, yeah, there's always there's always the chance that
this is like to him what the moths are to bust.

Speaker 3 (51:51):
Two reasons a man does anything.

Speaker 1 (51:53):
Yeah, and they are the same reason that it turns
out it's this same reason.

Speaker 3 (52:00):
Are you having sex with the eels or are you
trying to obtain sex by having the heels? Yes? All right,
uh polly hashtag obtained sex obtain Oh god? Oh fuck?

Speaker 1 (52:19):
Should should we talk poly and the biking? Yeah, So
we've talked before about how a lot of Western European
and American cities were essentially designed by cars. Like it's
like a new species came along and was like, we're
cars and we're just going to have you change everything

(52:39):
to be as efficient for us to get from one
place to another. But there have been a couple of
stories that have made us feel like maybe it's not
too late to undo some of that damage. Usually those
things are happening on the Western European side of that,
not in the American side of that.

Speaker 2 (52:58):
I understand it rarely comes from here.

Speaker 3 (53:02):
It does not.

Speaker 1 (53:04):
On our side, we had like a couple months at
the beginning of the pandemic where New York was like,
we're just not going to have like cars around. We're
going to like let people walk around a little bit.
And we were like what if they left? And but
before we could say what if we left, it like
that like finished that sentence, they had already like let
the cars back, and.

Speaker 2 (53:22):
All the birds killed themselves when the cars came back.
It's like, oh, there's nature, Yeah here, why is that?

Speaker 1 (53:29):
But so Paris is showing us like what this would
look like. They have this very ambitious climate plan that
includes transforming streets into zones reserved for pedestrians, bicycles, and
public transport. Like these zones sound like Central Park a
little bit like what if it was all just you know,
I guess Central Park has like a couple roads that

(53:50):
go through, but they're like usually closed and like they
like there's like one car at a time going through
it for the most part. And so this plan aims
to have like thirty thousand parking stands, one thousand spaces
reserved for cargo bikes, fifty two kilometers of provisional tracks,
three hundred kilometers of bicycle tracks, one thousand kilometers of

(54:14):
bike lanes. Just I don't know, it sounds cool to
me like that that would be how your city is designed.
Is just like a place where you could like walk
around without being concerned that your child would be like
pancaked by a fucking muscle car, you know, which is

(54:34):
like ninety percent of my mind when I'm walking around
with my kid is like, well, how do I ensure
that they aren't they don't run into the street and
get run over by a fucking car. And it's it's
wild that, you know, we didn't have any saying that
it was just like that used to not be the case,
and then over the past seventy years they were just like, yeah,

(54:55):
it's better for commerce, so we're gonna make it so
you just have to keep your fucking head on a
swivel at all times in order to get from place
to place.

Speaker 2 (55:04):
And the consequences couldn't be fucking higher, by the way,
if you if you screw up. And as a an
avid cyclist, I have the lower body of a hippopotamus.
I am very pro bike. But I've known or I've
seen that American cities will do something where they'll they'll
claim that they're very bike friendly, but in that like, oh,

(55:25):
we have so many bike lanes, but they're not protected
bike lanes. Yes, so it's like, oh, no, we painted
a green stripe on the street, so it's on the.

Speaker 3 (55:36):
Side of the highway, on the side.

Speaker 2 (55:38):
Of the other side of the highway. So yeah, which
with all all the you know, motorists will be like,
oh shit, there's a green stripe on the ground that
we no one sees, and yeah, I think that's the
vernacular around it too, can be often misleading when because
there's nothing better than a protected bike lane, and to
your point, it'll get rid of less or it'll cause

(56:00):
less emissions. People are also you're getting around and exercising,
like you don't have to be going a thousand miles
per hour. It's like, oh, like you get your heart right,
you're removing your body around a little bit. You know.
It's and it's kind.

Speaker 1 (56:12):
Of ten extra minutes to get where you're going, even
if you're going like a cross town correct. Yeah, if
that good for you, you'll feel better. It's such a
better way to like have a civilization and like this
they built this shit and now more people commute to
work in Paris like now as of now, like they

(56:33):
they've been doing this for the past few years. It's
like going to get more and more ambitious over the
next five but as of now, like more people are
commuting to work on bike than car. And like when
they started this, that was like unhurt Like they were like, well, no,
like of course not that's you know, it's it was
like an American city.

Speaker 3 (56:53):
Did you see the the just quickly that the Paris
speaking of just not only are they walking or biking
to work, but they twenty five percent They just had
a story in the New York Times, twenty five percent
of Parisians live in public housing. Not not affordable housing,
public housing, right, And that's what I ran on when

(57:16):
I ran for city council. I ran for this affordable housing,
this notion of affordable housing. It's not affordable anyway, you know,
Like what they're talking about is affordable for you know,
if you're upper middle class or middle class, Like I mean,
I don't even know if there's such a thing as
a middle class, but you know there's there's like affordable
is like oh fourteen hundred bucks for a one bedroom
or something that's still out of the reach of most

(57:37):
people who work in the service industry. And that's most
was a lot of the certainly the artists who live here,
and uh and just regular people who work in the
service industry. I mean that's the gig economies, the service industry.
I mean, you can't make enough to pay fourteen hundred
dollars a month rent doing that, no matter how many
fucking door dashes you deliver, and so like you need
sub and people are like, oh, what about if we

(57:59):
don't if we don't want public housing, Look what happened
to public housing. But that's just like what happened to
public housing. I mean, yeah, it's like got some crime
in it, but so does regular housing. And also those
people still live in Nashville. Otherwise they wouldn't be here.
They are in public housing, and that's why they're here.
And uh so Paris unfortunately has like you know, hasn't

(58:20):
been brainwashed like America into thinking like that the cars
are in the constitution, you know, right, yeah, yeah, because
they've been around for one thousand, ten thousand years or whatever.
We've been around for two hundred. Well, you know, in
this current incarnation, a couple three hundred years, you know,
and it seems like most of the time we've had
cars as far as I noticed.

Speaker 1 (58:36):
Think, yeah, I think it would work, Like I really
think we could just like car if it just kept
trying at city in cities around the US, like just
this is so, this is being done in cities around
Europe and like this mayor who has instituted this, like
it's a major part of her platform and she's so

(58:57):
popular that she's running for president now, like she's like
it's been done in London, Milan, Barcelona, and those candidates
have also gotten like huge marks. It's just like an
easy way too. I mean, I guess not easy in
the US, but it is like a guaranteed winner if

(59:17):
you just do it in your city, like because people
want like walkable, livable cities where you don't have to
worry about like just you know, taking a step in
the wrong direction and being killed. Like but we can't,
like in the US, like we can't do anything about
it because we're like captive to I don't know, fucking

(59:39):
chambers of commerce.

Speaker 3 (59:40):
Like Bruce Braingstein's songs about barefoot girls on the hood
of a dodge. Yeah, yeah, exactly, you know, which I
love that song. But you know this is we're we're
just brought up to think cars are as American as
as as apple pie and fucking freedom. And I mean,
you're not gonna take You're not gonna take my car
is the same. You'll get the same resistance like you're
trying to take it.

Speaker 2 (01:00:00):
Gun, Well, I keep my gun in my car.

Speaker 3 (01:00:03):
Cars, Yeah, you can't take my cars? Has got my
gun in my guns?

Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
Are? Well? Okay, so why don't you show me what
my gun rack looks like on the back of that
ten speed.

Speaker 3 (01:00:12):
It's it's in various saves in my car. It's in
my car, and very.

Speaker 1 (01:00:16):
The only walkable city I'm comfortable with is the Walking
Dead walk.

Speaker 3 (01:00:22):
Yes, cars in general. Let's just like cars in general
were a terrible idea. Like the whole idea. It was
a bad idea. It's just that nobody everybody likes them
and that's the problem. So they just like them. So
that's the you know, but really big picture, cars were
a terrible idea. And I'm going to say one thing
real quick because I know we're running out of time,

(01:00:43):
but I want to say there's this documentary called My
Architect on criteria.

Speaker 2 (01:00:47):
You promoted humans again, like you forgot that you ever
talked about or didn't.

Speaker 3 (01:00:53):
I would have the greatest episode ever. But I said
that also, Jackmans, I don't know the name of it.
Go to YouTube, put it in HUMANSI there's probably a
bunch of stuff that comes up. I can't remember it,
says CI on it. I don't know what channel that was,
but a sci fi maybe, s C I do we
talk about this? I'm fifty five, thank you, so h.

(01:01:17):
I just wanted to say that there's this this documentary
called My Architect, and it's about this architect named Louis Khan.
But it's about his son who didn't know him because
his dad had three different families that didn't know about
each other. And his dad was five ft six and
severely burnt as a child in Estonia, and he came
to America and became this He didn't hit his stride
as an artist until he was fifty one, which I like,

(01:01:40):
and I'm already kicking his ass. Are so he he
designed these buildings, he designed the capital of Bangladesh, and anyway,
he was a terrible dad. But it's this beautiful documentary
about Nathaniel Khan but Khan is not his real name.
Is he changed He was Jewish. He changed his name

(01:02:00):
in the early his father changed his name in the
twenties or something. But anyway, Louis Khan is this architect. Anyway,
his idea for Philadelphia, and that's why I thought of it.
He lived, grew up in Philadelphia after he came from Estonia,
and he wanted to He was one of the architects
that he had a huge proposal for downtown Philadelphia and
it was to have cars all left outside the city.

(01:02:22):
And this is in and he was laughed out of
town and everybody said, oh, you know, these William F.
Buckley types. And one of whom's in the documentary's still
angry about it. He's like, he wanted to leave the
cars outside of town. Fucking idiot, you know, like we
have the cars in town in this country, in this country,
you know what I mean. So I don't know who
this fucking guy thinks he is. But anyway, and it

(01:02:44):
was just so interesting because he was right. The idea
was that there would be these giant car parks or
like you know, like a car garage just that were
also kind of beautiful that he built all around the city.
Everybody would walk from them into the city, so there
would be no cars.

Speaker 1 (01:03:02):
It's just waiting there for some somebody to put it
together and become incredibly popular. But it's it's just wild
that like that that would be so popular with young people.
It would be popular with with the elderly who like
can't really drive at this point. But it's like that
mainstream money making commerce, you know, albatross like it. There's

(01:03:25):
gotta be a like if one city pulls it off,
like it will become such a like tourist hotspot. Like
I would just like go there all the time just
to like experience a city without cars. That would be
fucking wonderful. The Grove is the best example, the closest
we have to this in the US.

Speaker 3 (01:03:47):
It's incredible, and they have like an Eiffel Tower that
sparks out of and stuffy growth. Stunning, stunning.

Speaker 1 (01:03:55):
That's why we should have elected Caruso. Thank you all right,
Chris crofton what pleasure?

Speaker 3 (01:04:02):
Thank you so much. So fun to be on. I
always love being on and I yeah, that's it, that's it.

Speaker 1 (01:04:09):
Where can people find you? Follow?

Speaker 3 (01:04:11):
You can find me on the Instagram. Boy boy, can
you ever I'm a slave to the gram. So uh,
it's a yeah at the Crofton Show. You can find
me at the Crofton Show on X Twitter. I still
I do have a thread's account in a blue Sky
account whatever it is, but I can't go on there.
I just don't go on there very much. I'm still
on X and of Twitter. I don't know Twitter a

(01:04:34):
fuck at the Crofton Show.

Speaker 2 (01:04:35):
That's it.

Speaker 3 (01:04:35):
And you can go buy my book, The Advice King
Anthology from I don't care if you get it from Amazon,
go ahead. And and and it's called the Band's So Great.
It's so good and I wrote it but it's still good.
And uh, and what else. I'm going on tour with
Neil Hamburger in May in Minneapolis and Milwaukee, Milwaukee and

(01:04:58):
those areas so so May fourteenth, the first night I'm
doing is May fifteenth or something. I'm gonna come back
on the show one more time this month, so I'll
tell it more.

Speaker 1 (01:05:07):
Yeah, I'll tell it more.

Speaker 3 (01:05:09):
I'll tell it more.

Speaker 1 (01:05:10):
I'll tell it more about Tennessee my tour down Tennessee.

Speaker 3 (01:05:14):
Wash tag obtains sex.

Speaker 1 (01:05:20):
You could become an influencer with that hashtag. But oh god,
it's on the table for you.

Speaker 3 (01:05:25):
The things I would like to do if I had
more energy, to turn cities into bikeable cities, be an influencer,
all these things that have just I've just decided to
move on.

Speaker 1 (01:05:34):
There you go. Is there a work of media you've
been enjoying?

Speaker 3 (01:05:37):
Oh? I always forget that part. You guys go first?

Speaker 1 (01:05:40):
Uh Blake Wexler, Laky Blakey about to make a big mistakey?
Oh not another teen movie? Is it cool? Cool? Quote?

Speaker 2 (01:05:51):
It was another teen movie? Just so we're on the same.

Speaker 3 (01:05:54):
Page, everybody.

Speaker 1 (01:05:55):
Yeah, don't but you don't let.

Speaker 2 (01:05:58):
Them, never ever ever let them lie to you. And
if you get nothing else out of the show, take
that away. Also, I am going to be I have
some stand up dates coming up. I'm going to be
in Cincinnati April eighteenth to the twenty first at Gobinhanna's
Comedy Club, six shows for God's sakes.

Speaker 1 (01:06:15):
Yeah, yeah, for good.

Speaker 3 (01:06:17):
That's awesome.

Speaker 2 (01:06:19):
All these are rakes. And on April twenty seventh, I'm
going to be in Philly doing my review show called
The Reviews Are In where me and my guests read
actual reviews of products and places that both positive and negative.
We riff on them, and that's at the Coop. And
then the next day I'm going to be in Brooklyn

(01:06:40):
April twenty eighth at Strong Rope Brewery for my monthly
show there at Strong Rope. Go on it so you
can get all these tickets in my bio at Blake
Wexler on all social medias.

Speaker 3 (01:06:52):
That's fun.

Speaker 2 (01:06:53):
Those social media whatever, however you medians whatever, media's, media saves,
social media's and an art a piece of art, a
piece of social media.

Speaker 1 (01:07:05):
A piece of art or social media that you've been enjoying.

Speaker 2 (01:07:09):
There was a money I was looking at the other day.
You know, this is from Chad Daniels. Very funny stamp
comedian at that Chad Daniels. And the tweet was if
you're a murderous jerk, chemo won't work. That's was the

(01:07:30):
was the tweet. Wow, yeah, timely alr ip.

Speaker 1 (01:07:35):
Rip Chris, got anything for us that you've been enjoying?

Speaker 3 (01:07:39):
Oh yeah, I can't find anything, but h I like
everything Blair Saki does.

Speaker 2 (01:07:46):
Yes, the second did the best.

Speaker 1 (01:07:49):
Blair tweeted the other day. I stared at the eclipse,
but it only made me stronger. Sorry, that's and that's true.
That's not that's not even a joke. That's just a
fact about Blair strong, so strong it's crazy.

Speaker 3 (01:08:02):
I mean, I like my own joke. I'll do one
of my own tweets just cuz do it. It's for
my birthday. It's for my birthday. Nothing makes me want
to play less than when a therapist says play is important.

Speaker 2 (01:08:16):
This is from the Crofton Show. The tweet is today's
my birthday.

Speaker 3 (01:08:23):
Today's my birthday, and here's my venmo. But yeah, like,
you know what therapists say that, you know, they say
like play is important, and then you want to just die.

Speaker 1 (01:08:32):
Chris, I have a book called Play that was recommended
by my therapist for real. Yeah yeah, oh my god,
about play. And my therapist has made great recommendations that
I have read, made it all the way through man
search for meaning great book. I highly recommend Play. Did
could not couldn't do it? No, couldn't.

Speaker 3 (01:08:54):
Yeah, I needed I need one. It says work.

Speaker 1 (01:08:57):
There's something so depressing about being like, I'm just reading
this book about how I should have more fun from
my therapist.

Speaker 3 (01:09:05):
Oh god, yeah, yeah that's I get it. I get that.
I understand the concept.

Speaker 1 (01:09:11):
But it's actually homework about how I should have more fun,
and I'm reading it because my therapist assigned it to me.

Speaker 2 (01:09:19):
My house made of twigs keeps falling down when I'm
reading my book about play.

Speaker 1 (01:09:25):
Oh no, let's see tweet I've been enjoying that bitch
with bacon tattoo tweeted. Raisins are grape jerky, and I
think I will now only call raisins grape jerky. Cry
and Maddie at best ast Name tweeted, you can never
really own earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time

(01:09:46):
you had together, and that's a good way to view
that fleeting relationship. You can also amy A at loll
end on Wei, amy A.

Speaker 3 (01:09:58):
At Lola on Wei.

Speaker 1 (01:09:59):
I've always pronounced that lull and ui, but I do
know how onwe is pronounced, tweeted. Aubrey Plaza could play
the Joker, but Joaquin Phoenix couldn't do April Ludgate, and
that is a fact that's awesome. You can find me
on Twitter at Jack Underscore Brian. You can find us
on Twitter at Daily Zeikeeist. We're at the Daily Zeikeist.
On Instagram, we have a Facebook fan page on a website,

(01:10:21):
Daily zeikeist dot com, where we post our episode and
our footnotes where we link off to the information that
we talked about in today's episode. Well, it is a
song that we think you might enjoy. Super producer Justin
is there a song that you think people might enjoy?

Speaker 3 (01:10:37):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:10:38):
If you want to feel like you can solve complex
math equations in your head with the same these it
takes to sit back and listen to a chill piece
of music, then boy, do I have a song for you.

Speaker 3 (01:10:49):
It's called Already there by Taylor McFerrin.

Speaker 4 (01:10:51):
It's the son of legendary musician Bobby McFerrin of Don't Worry,
Be Happy, Fame, Robert Glasper and Thundercat. If you know
anything about the last they get pretty jazzy and technical
and complex, but the best parts of this song are
when they just like vibe out and get really smooth
with it.

Speaker 2 (01:11:07):
You could picture like a chill professor.

Speaker 4 (01:11:09):
Hitting the blunt and drawing out some organic molecules or
something on a chalkboard. And so yeah, this song is
called Already there by Taylor McFerrin, Robert Glasper, Thundercat.

Speaker 3 (01:11:18):
And you can find that in the.

Speaker 2 (01:11:19):
Footnotes or Justin that was so smooth. I thought that
was the song. You just talking about it like this
is amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:11:26):
That's the biggest compliment I've ever gotten.

Speaker 2 (01:11:28):
It's true.

Speaker 1 (01:11:30):
I thought it was gonna be a song by Count
Dracula from Sestime Streetculum. Yeah, all right, we will look
off to that in the footnotes. The Daily Es, Guys
is the production of iHeartRadio. For more podcast from my
Heart Radio, visit the heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or
wherever find podcasts or give it away for free. That
is gonna do it for us this week three thirty three.
In the books, you fucker said we couldn't do it,

(01:11:52):
didn't you? Y'all said we couldn't do it.

Speaker 3 (01:11:54):
Now look at you three three.

Speaker 1 (01:11:58):
Three hundred and thirty three seeds and read them in
a week.

Speaker 3 (01:12:01):
That's insane.

Speaker 1 (01:12:02):
That's yeah, exactly, we're almost catching up.

Speaker 3 (01:12:05):
Congratulations, Thank you, hey.

Speaker 1 (01:12:08):
Thank you so much. But yeah, we're back on Monday
with another episode. Tell you what was trending over the weekend,
and we'll have a highlight episode, a clips episode from
season three thirty three over the weekend, the Weekly I Guist,
and we will talk to you all then have a
great weekend.

Speaker 3 (01:12:24):
Bye everyone, Bye,