July 17, 2024 • 28 mins
You might think you saw everything on Joey Graziadei’s season of The Bachelor, but we’re going BEYOND the mansion and talking to the people that know him best!
Susie Evans is hanging out with Joey’s sister Carly Monzo and hearing stories from growing up, what Joey was like before “The Bachelor”, and she reveals the advice she gave Joey before going on the show!
Plus, find out what it’s REALLY like having a close family member become the lead on The Bachelor!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is all those famous Beyond the Bachelor with Susie Evans. Hi, Hi,
how are you?
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I'm good?
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Are you? I'm good?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
You look beautiful?
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Thank you? So do you? Thank you?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Okay, let's bring it back to the beginning.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
What were your initial thoughts when you found out your
brother Joey was going on the Bachelorette.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I think just excitement all around. You were super excited. It
was such everything was unknown, so I think we were
just excited for the experience for him. I we joke
that my sister and I thought that he either was
going to go home night one or he was going
to make it to the very end. So we were right.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
That is amazing, And honestly, it can go either way.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
That's what's so funny and crazy about the Bachelor is
like people can go home night one and then you
meet them and you're like, oh my god, you're a
wonderful human. How did you not make it passed that
first night? And I really think just depending on the
Bachelor the Bachelorette, like it can determine so much about
the outcome. So it's funny that he made it all
the way. In a different world, he could have been
(01:10):
he could have been out there.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I know. I was so nervous because it was such
a risk to go and leaving his career on the
back burner for a little bit. And as we got
closer to the premiere, I was like, just make it
through the first night and get one rose because I
didn't want him to be embarrassed that he went on
the show. But obviously it worked out very well.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Totally, and honestly, it is so vulnerable, it's like really
truly putting yourself out there. Was that weird to all,
Like it's your brother and you're seeing him like fall
in love, go on dates, kiss somebody? Like was it
weird at all? Or was it just like so cute
because he's your little brother, right.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Yes, yeah, my little Yes. Yeah, it was very weird
watching him. I think the excitement wore off, like in
once we got to the second episode, because I think
I'm thinking back now, but on the Bachelorette there was
some like kissing date he did where it was the
longest kiss or something, and we were like, no, this
(02:08):
is not fun anymore. This is getting so uncomfortable. So yeah,
that part was a little uncomfy. Feel super excited. I
think my biggest concern was just being what people's interpretation
of who he is as a human being on the show.
Us knowing him and how amazing he is, you just
(02:30):
you never know what other people's viewpoints are going to be.
So I think it was more so nerves from that
standpoint kind of took over everything else because I just
wanted to protect him, but I wasn't obviously wasn't there,
and it's all been filmed already and you're just reliving it.
So it was the whole thing was a little bit
nerve wracking.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Right, That's so wild.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Yeah, And it's crazy because you don't know what they're
going to show versus what they're not going to show.
So even if you know your brother's character, like, it
could get chopped up a thousand different ways and people
can perceive it. How ever, But obviously everyone loved Joey.
I feel like sometimes I'm like, oh my god, he
like saved the franchise and coming back like everyone loved
him and like on the Bachelorette, but then when he
(03:10):
was the Bachelor, I think the Bachelor is like an
impossible job. I don't think that most people come away
liked because it's one guy dating a ton.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Of girls, Like nobody wants to see that. I mean,
we do, but like we do what we do home. Yeah,
So he navigated it so well.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
It was like so impressive because I feel like, to
this day he has like such a good standing with
the fan base and people outside of the fan base.
Were you guys come, I mean you knew he made
it quite far obviously, but were you completely shocked when
you realize, like, oh my gosh, Joey's about to be
the Bachelor?
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Was it?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Did it like shake your family's household? Was everyone supportive
or was there ever a discussion of like is this
the best choice?
Speaker 1 (03:55):
I think we were all supportive. Joey tried to kind
of keep it under wraps as much as possible. I
think all the conversations he was having because I think
he talked to a few leads from the past, or
people who were almost leads and weren't leads, and just
the whole process and everything being so unknown until the
last minute, I think he was trying to balance getting
(04:18):
his hopes up for an exciting opportunity versus this. They
might be talking to multiple other people, so he really
only talked to me about it. To bounce things off
of and didn't disclose too much to my family. But
I think he also didn't want to get their hopes
up because I think everyone was just so excited for
the opportunity. Yeah, I don't think I truly don't think
(04:43):
anyone challenged him to the point where we thought it
wasn't a good idea for him. I think we saw
how much we joke when we saw him at Hometowns
for Charity season that he just went to like an
all inclusive, like intensive therapy session because he was like
(05:04):
the best version of himself when we met him, we
were like, this is Joey on steroids, because you're just
so removed from being on your phone all the time,
getting into just that normal rut of going to work,
coming home, sitting on the couch, like it was just
so insightful. I think for him working on himself figuring
out what he wanted in the process of dating Charity
(05:26):
with a bunch of other guys. But I think, knowing
how much he grew from the Bachelorette and this opportunity,
I don't think he ever would have been able to
turn it down. For the reason being, what if I
don't think he could have watched the show back, declined
the position and then Dean Kelsey on the TV and
(05:47):
would have been like, I could have had the chance
to date her and be engaged to her. So I
think that outweighed everything and we were just really excited
for him.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
That's so cool. That's that's really cool insight.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Do you have any behind the scene tea that you
can share, whether it was like something that maybe people
don't know about your experience, like when you got to
go film and because you did hometowns and then obvious
well double hometowns essentially, so like behind the scenes tea,
or just like what was the most shocking thing that
you saw that you're like, oh, I didn't realize this
is what went into reality television.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Just having all those cameras in front of you is
so shocking the first time that it happens. So for
Charity season, we were just it was so nerve wracking
and it was crazy. By the end of the night,
you started to like not care or realize that they
were there. So that was shocking to me how easy
you can just start to be yourself in such a
(06:44):
crazy situation. I think something that we joke about and
laugh about rather with Joey all the time. Is when
we went to Mexico for Joey's Meet the Family episode,
he the way they had set it up. Joey came
in first and told us who we were going to
(07:05):
be meeting. So he talked about his final two ladies
that were there, explained them like who they were, why,
why these two women were the last people there, And
then I think we had and I apologize because I
feel like I like blackout certain things because it was
I don't forget it. But I think we took a
(07:26):
break after he told us who the two girls were
before we actually met the first one, and my sister
and I went, we like fixed our lip gloss before
we went back on camera, and we looked at each
other and we were like, it's Kelsey, Like we knew
before meeting them, just how he talked about her, We're like,
(07:46):
he is clearly so in love with her. So I
think it really shaped kind of the direction of my
conversations with the two of them, because I feel like
for Daisy, I was trying to see if there was
something that maybe Joey wasn't seeing, or if there was
things that he had questions about versus Kelsey. I feel
(08:07):
like they show so little of the conversations we had,
But I feel like my sister and I were very
not harder, but I think we're trying to dig a
little bit deeper to make sure, Like he seemed so
sure already before even meeting her, So I think we
were probably a little bit tougher in conversation with her.
But I always think about that before we even met them,
(08:27):
my sister and I looked at each other and we
were like, it's Kelsey. We know it's Kelsey.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
That's like very special that you guys were able to
kind of tell, even just by the way he was
talking about her, because obviously the show has to sort
of mislead the audience. Like that was one thing that
was really hard watching back the season that I was on.
It was like you're seeing things unfold and you're like, wait,
this isn't how I I mean it is, but it's
not how I remember it exactly. But you understand, like
(08:55):
once you're in it, that the production side of things
like they have to kind.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Of mislead viewers or else it's not exciting.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
So I don't particularly remember exactly the conversations like I
don't remember you being hard on Kelsey, but it is
interesting that you guys were like, Okay, we really have
to get in there and like, yeah, like just make
sure that this is all it's all going good. And
obviously Joey was a fan favorite, but so were you,
(09:23):
Like what were your thoughts when people were like tweeting
and going on Instagram talking about you. Obviously we know
you've been married for like four years now, correct, Yes,
so you're not a possible contender.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
But some people were like, oh my god, we need
to get Joey's sister on the show.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Yes, it was. We just laugh about it. My husband
and I have been together for thirteen years. We went
to high school together, so we've been together for a
very long time. So it's just funny. It's just I
stn't feel a little bit of impostor syndrome maybe and
just confused. I understand why everyone follows along with Joey
(10:03):
and Kelsey, but I still just get all these people
that are following me, or the craziest thing that random
brands would want to send me things, and I'm just
like why, why, why do you want to do that?
And it's and I'm I'm enjoying it. It's fun and
it's I mean, I'm having fun with it. It's just
(10:24):
I still when I make a video for something, I'm
so confused why people are.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
I love that. No, it's because you're fabulous. Like the
people loved you. We were like give us more, we
want more.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
And I see like tiktoks of you and Kelsey. Now,
obviously you guys have a great relationship, which is so amazing, Like, yeah,
that's such a big part of like bringing somebody into
(10:56):
your life is like knowing that they're going to get
along with your family. And so I want to hear
about your relationship with Kelsey a little bit.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Yes, I am obsessed with Kelsey. I similarly to Joey.
I think it was definitely was taken out if I'm
a little bit being on a show on reality TV.
But the two of us are definitely gravitate to be
more introverted. People can be very much homebodies, like go
with the flow, where don't need to have, you know,
(11:25):
a crazy night out planned every single weekend. Kelsey and
my husband Zach or the poll are opposite, so they
want to stay out till the bar closes, they want
to buy everyone's shots. They're ready to have so much
fun every night, and Joey and I are like, we
finish our drink, we'll go home, like you guys can
stay out. So the four of us together just have
(11:47):
the same sarcasm and sense of humor. And it's so
important just for those little moments as a family, when
you're playing games or just like sitting on the couch,
our personalities all just mesh so well. So because she
reminds me so much of my husband, I obviously love her.
She we get along very very well, but she just
(12:10):
bounces off of our family's energy so well. She got
to meet our entire extended family. My grandma had passed
away a few weeks ago, and she came to the funeral,
met my entire side of the family. Everyone was obsessed
with her. She fits in just perfectly. So I love her.
I'm very all. I tell Joey all the time. All
(12:32):
I ever wanted was to be best friends with his
soon to be wife. So I feel very lucky that
we have that.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Wow, that does give me chills, Like that's so special,
that's so nice.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
It does make a big difference when somebody's ability to
kind of like fit in with your family, Like it
just makes it just makes it so much easier and
and it.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Just brings a lot of happiness.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Like it's so nice when you can just like hang
out as a family and it doesn't feel like there's
a weird dynamic, Like it sounds like she just fits
right in.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
So that's amazing.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
So since you are married and you've been been together
for quite a while, what advice did you give Joey
before he left for the show.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
I think a lot of different advice, but I think
just I wanted him to be himself, and I think
he had never watched the show before he went on,
so we always joked, oh, Joey, we're going to nominate
you to go on The Bachelor one day, and we
did not nominate him. A producer had reached out to
him and his DMS. But I think my mom did
(13:40):
not believe me for a long time. She swore I
nominated him because we would joke about it all the time.
I was like, I really didn't, but this was an
amazing opportunity. I think the advice was just to be himself,
and I had explained sometimes there's a villain on the season,
and sometimes people be depicted in different ways even if
(14:02):
that's not truly who they are. So I just wanted
him to protect his heart, be cautious of people around him,
be trusting, but maybe not too much of not the
lead in the process of the show, but just the
producers and the other men that were there, Like, you
don't know people's motives for going on the show, but
I just wanted him to be himself. And I feel
(14:24):
like that's exactly what he did, and I don't I
don't think you could have spun him any other way
than that, because he was himself. And then I think
when we saw him for Charity's hometown, when he came
home to us, I remember him just talking about how
serious it was, and I remember telling him that it
(14:49):
was hard for me to give the advice because I
didn't want him to be heartbroken at the end. But
he was really teetering between kind of guarding his heart
versus like really go all in to get to the
point to be able to be engaged or to propose,
And I was like, you have to go all in,
Like if you don't, you're going to regret it. You're
either going to be so heartbroken and we'll be here
(15:11):
to help you after, or you're going to get to
the point where you might be engaged. So yeah, obviously
his heart got broken, but it led him to where
he's at now. But I think my advice was if
he really felt that that person that he was pursuing
was worth it and he felt the future that he
had to go all in and kind of risk it all,
(15:32):
which I think he did.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
So wow, that's the best advice that it's the best
advice I think I've ever heard anyone say, because it
is so weird when you get to the end and
I'm sure he experiences too, but you kind of like
you feel.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Like you're falling in love, but you're realizing.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Like there's two or three other people on the same
trajectory and like, yeah, it's so hard to like put
your guard down.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Yeah, but it's so amazing when you do.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Because obviously with Joey, like everyone, that's the thing is
everyone saw his heart and everyone as a viewer fell
in love with who he was and was like, we
want to see you win. In another aspect, like we
want we want you to be the Bachelor, and we
want you to like find somebody so that you can
have this experience and have it be that happy ending.
So that's honestly, like the best advice I think I've
(16:25):
ever heard anybody get really cool. How did you guys
as a family navigate like the scrutiny that comes with
being on the show, because obviously you guys were all
very much loved, but no matter how loved you are,
there's always going to be people that are haters or
trolls or whatever.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Yeah, I try. I definitely would have fun on the
night of the episode airing going on Twitter and following
what people were trying because the memes that people post
are so funny, So that was just like part of
the fun experience it all, especially when Joey was there
with us watching it, because, as you talked about, they
(17:05):
cut so many things out, So when he was there
with us on a Monday night watching it, I think
it was easier to process because I could obviously see
what's being aired on TV, but I could also hear
straight from him what he said or like what the
dynamic of that conversation was. And then I really tried
(17:27):
to cut off looking at things on the internet after
just that night on Twitter. I made the mistake of
looking at Reddit before and I was so ang, it's horrible,
It's so crazy. And for the most part, like we
(17:48):
talked about, things were so positive towards Joey, but it
was the comparison of the women that were on the show,
and I think there was spoilers out that Kelsey wasn't
the person who was engaged to Joey, and I think
there was like just so much speculation between the girls,
and I know Kelsey was involved in that, and I
(18:09):
just already felt protective of her. So I think I
just I had to not look at it because I
can't fight with them and Reddit on Readiley. So I
think the way to deal with it was just getting
the information from the source, which was Joey who was
physically there, and then just trying not to listen to it.
But I cannot take for granted the fact that they're
(18:29):
truly was like, there wasn't a lot to work with
for Joey, so I was good. If people were going
to be coming at him and like really commenting on
his Instagram or things that were in my sight, I
would have made so many burner accounts and I would
have been fighting with people all day, Like I would
have been going crazy.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
That's how my girlfriends are back home as well. Yeah,
and honestly me too. Sometimes if people are in my comments,
I'm like, let me give you a little some like
I'll give me something to talk about. I know where
you just like pin the comment and then like people
in the comments will do it for you, and you're like, yeah,
I didn't even have to like do anything because Bachin
Nation has so many homies that look out for us.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Yeah, but no, it's so true.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Kit Linbristoll always uses this term shopping for hate, and
it's so true because if you go looking for it,
you can find it, Like it's so easy to find.
I think that's very healthy the perspective you took and
like implenting those boundaries because it can be so wild
coming off the show and even being off the show,
(19:32):
and like, if you don't if you don't have the
mental strength to like put in those boundaries for yourself,
like you're always going to be reading horrible things about
yourself online because it's it's gonna be out there, but
if you just don't allow yourself to access it, Like
and if they are coming on your page.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
That's different.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
But if you go looking for it, like you are
going to find it. So if you don't go looking.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
For it, it pretty much doesn't exist. Like it's not real.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
It's literally a fantasy world that people are living in
and discussing things that are factually incorrect. It is so
wild to me, but it can be so tormenting to
your mental health. So I love that you were able
to like catch that early on and be like, yeah,
I'm probably not gonna go looking for this, but I
do love it sounds like you are such a like
(20:19):
a real one for Kelsey.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
It sounds like you were already protective of her and
loved her.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
So that is just like it just speaks to y'all's
relationship and just to you as a person as well.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
It's so nice.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
It's so it's just it's it's truly crazy to me,
how drastic, how drastically different it is for men and
women on the show even today, Like people come at
the craziest stuff on Kelsey's TikTok's her instagrams. Yeah, just
don't look at it. Why are you watching it? I
don't understand. I don't understand it, But I think just
(20:50):
the comparison between it's always like it's always women doing
it to other women, and I think for them there's
just there's less to work with. So on that end,
Joey was good. It was more so I wanted to
try and protect Kelsey's heart and it's just it's hard.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
That's very sweet, and it's yeah, it's so wild.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
Yeah the women that there are so many women that
will just come for you. Somebody said recently, and this
I feel like this is taking a dark turn. But
I'm like somebody said recently, no one hates women like
women hate women, and I.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Was like, it's so true.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
Gosh, like that is so true. Like the amount of
women that have been just yeah, horrible to other women,
whether like it's experiencing it myself being on the show
or seeing it happen in real time watching the show.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
It is so wild.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
But again, kind of like what you said earlier, like
we can't also we can't ignore that there are so
many wonderful people as well that do come and like
fight the fight for us, and they're like this is
not appropriate, like why are you commenting this, but it's
it is. It's crazy that people that it will attract
to just be so like wildly opinionated in a negative way, but.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
I wanted to know what have you been up to?
Speaker 3 (22:00):
Like, Obviously, I see that brands are reaching out to you,
and you're like posting some cool videos on social media,
and I love seeing it. I think everyone, if you have,
if you appreciate and enjoy social media, I'm like, everyone
should be doing social media. It's such a fun, cool
thing to be a part of. What else have you
been up to since the show?
Speaker 1 (22:20):
I just am still working my full time job obviously,
So I am a geriatric social worker. I work in
an assisted living facility, so that's what I do by day,
and then I have the luxury of working a four
day week, so I work for ten hour days, which
is amazing, so I can utilize my day off for
(22:42):
the weekends or in the evenings I'll do make little
videos post them throughout the week. So it's a lot
of work. I give these people so much credit who
do social media and everything full time. It's like these
little videos you make take so long, and then again
I overthink what I'm doing, so I'll edit it and
(23:03):
change it and do it again. So yeah, I have
my job. That's my career that I love, but this
has definitely been something fun on the side to be
to be doing. But again, just such imposter syndrome doing it.
It's just just for fun.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
I feel like most people in social media probably have
that same feeling where it's like, what are like?
Speaker 1 (23:32):
This is?
Speaker 2 (23:33):
But it's so fun? So I think why not?
Speaker 3 (23:37):
But wait, okay, geriatric social worker, how did you get involved?
Like how did you find that as your passion in
your career?
Speaker 1 (23:47):
So I went to college for social work, and you
can do so many things with social work. You can
work with kids, you grow up with homeless people, you
can work with people suffer who suffer from domestic abuse,
you can work in everything. I was so grow so
close to my grandparents growing up. In high school, I
volunteered at nursing homes. I just love that generation, that population.
(24:10):
So I just knew I wanted to work with elderly people,
but I did not want to be a nurse. I couldn't.
I couldn't deal with that from a clinical standpoint. So
this was just a different path I could go down
to work with that specific population. So that's what drove it.
I went to school for social work and then just
(24:31):
right out of college, worked in a nursing home and
then an assisted living and impatient geriatric rehab. So I
just always worked with that population, but I went to
school for it.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
So, oh my gosh, amazing. And also, I know you
mentioned your grandmother passing.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
I'm so sorry, but did I see on your social
media that you guys got a tattoo?
Speaker 1 (24:50):
Yeah? Since it?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
What does it say?
Speaker 1 (24:53):
I will butcher it. We are Italian, but I didn't
speak Italian. My grandma. We have this video of my
grand when I was younger that I took her for.
She said she wanted the words peace and joy in Chinese,
and my cousins and I were all together for her funeral.
We're like, we should get this tattoo. But I have
(25:13):
no connection to Chinese writing. So I took a bunch
of old cards that she had written me and we
translated peace and joy in Italian. It's patcha igioia. So
we just took cards and took a P and an
A and a C, and just my sister traced it
on tracing paper in her handwriting. So then all of
(25:35):
our cousins we got her tattoo. We just did put
a little twist on it.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
I love it. I think she'd like that even better,
you know.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Like I think she would have gotten it.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Oh that's so cool. I love that.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Well.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
I am so glad that we got to chat with
you today actually before we go, since there's a new
season happening right now. With all the boys that may
listen to this, who knows, maybe they'll be curious. But
what advice would you give someone going on the show
that's watching it back right now, Like, what advice would
you give them just for like how to navigate this process.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
The guys that are watching it like watching.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Themselves back, maybe the guys in Jen and Jen.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
I think, I think for everyone just to not to
take it too seriously and to remember that you signed
up for a show and it's reality TV and they're
trying to make good TV at the end of the day.
So I think just being able to laugh at yourself
is super important. I think for Jen, she's doing amazing.
(26:36):
I think I saw something that the ratings went up
and everything, so I'm excited for her. I think for
the guys, specifically the final two, because they think seeing
getting to see both perspectives, Joey being I hate to
say like runner Up, but the person that did not
get engaged versus being able to see how Kelsey navigated
(26:59):
being the person that was is now engaged. I think
it's harder sometimes, at least in my opinion, for the
person that is actually engaged to watch everything back versus
the person who is not engaged at the very end
is having self reflection and realizing you were just there
for such a short amount of time. And hopefully that
(27:22):
person has a good family and friend support system to
help them work through that. But I think for the
person that is engaged, just to again remember they're not
showing your whole love story. They have to show other people's.
I think that's really difficult because you have to kind
of watch their whole season. I don't think it's a
bad idea to not watch every episode or to just
(27:44):
watch the parts that that specific person, if Jen is engaged,
just the parts that they're in together. I just think
it's so hard to navigate, and I think just giving
yourself the freedom to laugh some things off, take things
so seriously, because it's definitely they want to make a
good TV which they do a very very good job of,
(28:07):
so I think just taking things not so seriously, if possible,
if you your said been done, I don't think I
could have ever done it.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Yeah, it's tough, but that's really good advice and hopefully
they are listening and hopefully they can take that to heart.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
But I just want to say thank you so much
for joining us.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
I feel like people are going to be so excited
to hear straight from you.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Everyone loved you, and thanks for joining us.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Thank you for having me
This is all those famous Beyond the Bachelor with Susie Evans. Hi, Hi,
how are you?
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I'm good?
Speaker 1 (00:09):
Are you? I'm good?
Speaker 2 (00:12):
You look beautiful?
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Thank you? So do you? Thank you?
Speaker 2 (00:16):
Okay, let's bring it back to the beginning.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
What were your initial thoughts when you found out your
brother Joey was going on the Bachelorette.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
I think just excitement all around. You were super excited. It
was such everything was unknown, so I think we were
just excited for the experience for him. I we joke
that my sister and I thought that he either was
going to go home night one or he was going
to make it to the very end. So we were right.
Speaker 2 (00:47):
That is amazing, And honestly, it can go either way.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
That's what's so funny and crazy about the Bachelor is
like people can go home night one and then you
meet them and you're like, oh my god, you're a
wonderful human. How did you not make it passed that
first night? And I really think just depending on the
Bachelor the Bachelorette, like it can determine so much about
the outcome. So it's funny that he made it all
the way. In a different world, he could have been
(01:10):
he could have been out there.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I know. I was so nervous because it was such
a risk to go and leaving his career on the
back burner for a little bit. And as we got
closer to the premiere, I was like, just make it
through the first night and get one rose because I
didn't want him to be embarrassed that he went on
the show. But obviously it worked out very well.
Speaker 3 (01:30):
Totally, and honestly, it is so vulnerable, it's like really
truly putting yourself out there. Was that weird to all,
Like it's your brother and you're seeing him like fall
in love, go on dates, kiss somebody? Like was it
weird at all? Or was it just like so cute
because he's your little brother, right.
Speaker 1 (01:47):
Yes, yeah, my little Yes. Yeah, it was very weird
watching him. I think the excitement wore off, like in
once we got to the second episode, because I think
I'm thinking back now, but on the Bachelorette there was
some like kissing date he did where it was the
longest kiss or something, and we were like, no, this
(02:08):
is not fun anymore. This is getting so uncomfortable. So yeah,
that part was a little uncomfy. Feel super excited. I
think my biggest concern was just being what people's interpretation
of who he is as a human being on the show.
Us knowing him and how amazing he is, you just
(02:30):
you never know what other people's viewpoints are going to be.
So I think it was more so nerves from that
standpoint kind of took over everything else because I just
wanted to protect him, but I wasn't obviously wasn't there,
and it's all been filmed already and you're just reliving it.
So it was the whole thing was a little bit
nerve wracking.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Right, That's so wild.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
Yeah, And it's crazy because you don't know what they're
going to show versus what they're not going to show.
So even if you know your brother's character, like, it
could get chopped up a thousand different ways and people
can perceive it. How ever, But obviously everyone loved Joey.
I feel like sometimes I'm like, oh my god, he
like saved the franchise and coming back like everyone loved
him and like on the Bachelorette, but then when he
(03:10):
was the Bachelor, I think the Bachelor is like an
impossible job. I don't think that most people come away
liked because it's one guy dating a ton.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Of girls, Like nobody wants to see that. I mean,
we do, but like we do what we do home. Yeah,
So he navigated it so well.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
It was like so impressive because I feel like, to
this day he has like such a good standing with
the fan base and people outside of the fan base.
Were you guys come, I mean you knew he made
it quite far obviously, but were you completely shocked when
you realize, like, oh my gosh, Joey's about to be
the Bachelor?
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Was it?
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Did it like shake your family's household? Was everyone supportive
or was there ever a discussion of like is this
the best choice?
Speaker 1 (03:55):
I think we were all supportive. Joey tried to kind
of keep it under wraps as much as possible. I
think all the conversations he was having because I think
he talked to a few leads from the past, or
people who were almost leads and weren't leads, and just
the whole process and everything being so unknown until the
last minute, I think he was trying to balance getting
(04:18):
his hopes up for an exciting opportunity versus this. They
might be talking to multiple other people, so he really
only talked to me about it. To bounce things off
of and didn't disclose too much to my family. But
I think he also didn't want to get their hopes
up because I think everyone was just so excited for
the opportunity. Yeah, I don't think I truly don't think
(04:43):
anyone challenged him to the point where we thought it
wasn't a good idea for him. I think we saw
how much we joke when we saw him at Hometowns
for Charity season that he just went to like an
all inclusive, like intensive therapy session because he was like
(05:04):
the best version of himself when we met him, we
were like, this is Joey on steroids, because you're just
so removed from being on your phone all the time,
getting into just that normal rut of going to work,
coming home, sitting on the couch, like it was just
so insightful. I think for him working on himself figuring
out what he wanted in the process of dating Charity
(05:26):
with a bunch of other guys. But I think, knowing
how much he grew from the Bachelorette and this opportunity,
I don't think he ever would have been able to
turn it down. For the reason being, what if I
don't think he could have watched the show back, declined
the position and then Dean Kelsey on the TV and
(05:47):
would have been like, I could have had the chance
to date her and be engaged to her. So I
think that outweighed everything and we were just really excited
for him.
Speaker 2 (05:56):
That's so cool. That's that's really cool insight.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
Do you have any behind the scene tea that you
can share, whether it was like something that maybe people
don't know about your experience, like when you got to
go film and because you did hometowns and then obvious
well double hometowns essentially, so like behind the scenes tea,
or just like what was the most shocking thing that
you saw that you're like, oh, I didn't realize this
is what went into reality television.
Speaker 1 (06:21):
Just having all those cameras in front of you is
so shocking the first time that it happens. So for
Charity season, we were just it was so nerve wracking
and it was crazy. By the end of the night,
you started to like not care or realize that they
were there. So that was shocking to me how easy
you can just start to be yourself in such a
(06:44):
crazy situation. I think something that we joke about and
laugh about rather with Joey all the time. Is when
we went to Mexico for Joey's Meet the Family episode,
he the way they had set it up. Joey came
in first and told us who we were going to
(07:05):
be meeting. So he talked about his final two ladies
that were there, explained them like who they were, why,
why these two women were the last people there, And
then I think we had and I apologize because I
feel like I like blackout certain things because it was
I don't forget it. But I think we took a
(07:26):
break after he told us who the two girls were
before we actually met the first one, and my sister
and I went, we like fixed our lip gloss before
we went back on camera, and we looked at each
other and we were like, it's Kelsey, Like we knew
before meeting them, just how he talked about her, We're like,
(07:46):
he is clearly so in love with her. So I
think it really shaped kind of the direction of my
conversations with the two of them, because I feel like
for Daisy, I was trying to see if there was
something that maybe Joey wasn't seeing, or if there was
things that he had questions about versus Kelsey. I feel
(08:07):
like they show so little of the conversations we had,
But I feel like my sister and I were very
not harder, but I think we're trying to dig a
little bit deeper to make sure, Like he seemed so
sure already before even meeting her, So I think we
were probably a little bit tougher in conversation with her.
But I always think about that before we even met them,
(08:27):
my sister and I looked at each other and we
were like, it's Kelsey. We know it's Kelsey.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
That's like very special that you guys were able to
kind of tell, even just by the way he was
talking about her, because obviously the show has to sort
of mislead the audience. Like that was one thing that
was really hard watching back the season that I was on.
It was like you're seeing things unfold and you're like, wait,
this isn't how I I mean it is, but it's
not how I remember it exactly. But you understand, like
(08:55):
once you're in it, that the production side of things
like they have to kind.
Speaker 2 (08:59):
Of mislead viewers or else it's not exciting.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
So I don't particularly remember exactly the conversations like I
don't remember you being hard on Kelsey, but it is
interesting that you guys were like, Okay, we really have
to get in there and like, yeah, like just make
sure that this is all it's all going good. And
obviously Joey was a fan favorite, but so were you,
(09:23):
Like what were your thoughts when people were like tweeting
and going on Instagram talking about you. Obviously we know
you've been married for like four years now, correct, Yes,
so you're not a possible contender.
Speaker 2 (09:36):
But some people were like, oh my god, we need
to get Joey's sister on the show.
Speaker 1 (09:41):
Yes, it was. We just laugh about it. My husband
and I have been together for thirteen years. We went
to high school together, so we've been together for a
very long time. So it's just funny. It's just I
stn't feel a little bit of impostor syndrome maybe and
just confused. I understand why everyone follows along with Joey
(10:03):
and Kelsey, but I still just get all these people
that are following me, or the craziest thing that random
brands would want to send me things, and I'm just
like why, why, why do you want to do that?
And it's and I'm I'm enjoying it. It's fun and
it's I mean, I'm having fun with it. It's just
(10:24):
I still when I make a video for something, I'm
so confused why people are.
Speaker 2 (10:30):
I love that. No, it's because you're fabulous. Like the
people loved you. We were like give us more, we
want more.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
And I see like tiktoks of you and Kelsey. Now,
obviously you guys have a great relationship, which is so amazing, Like, yeah,
that's such a big part of like bringing somebody into
(10:56):
your life is like knowing that they're going to get
along with your family. And so I want to hear
about your relationship with Kelsey a little bit.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
Yes, I am obsessed with Kelsey. I similarly to Joey.
I think it was definitely was taken out if I'm
a little bit being on a show on reality TV.
But the two of us are definitely gravitate to be
more introverted. People can be very much homebodies, like go
with the flow, where don't need to have, you know,
(11:25):
a crazy night out planned every single weekend. Kelsey and
my husband Zach or the poll are opposite, so they
want to stay out till the bar closes, they want
to buy everyone's shots. They're ready to have so much
fun every night, and Joey and I are like, we
finish our drink, we'll go home, like you guys can
stay out. So the four of us together just have
(11:47):
the same sarcasm and sense of humor. And it's so
important just for those little moments as a family, when
you're playing games or just like sitting on the couch,
our personalities all just mesh so well. So because she
reminds me so much of my husband, I obviously love her.
She we get along very very well, but she just
(12:10):
bounces off of our family's energy so well. She got
to meet our entire extended family. My grandma had passed
away a few weeks ago, and she came to the funeral,
met my entire side of the family. Everyone was obsessed
with her. She fits in just perfectly. So I love her.
I'm very all. I tell Joey all the time. All
(12:32):
I ever wanted was to be best friends with his
soon to be wife. So I feel very lucky that
we have that.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Wow, that does give me chills, Like that's so special,
that's so nice.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
It does make a big difference when somebody's ability to
kind of like fit in with your family, Like it
just makes it just makes it so much easier and
and it.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
Just brings a lot of happiness.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
Like it's so nice when you can just like hang
out as a family and it doesn't feel like there's
a weird dynamic, Like it sounds like she just fits
right in.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
So that's amazing.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
So since you are married and you've been been together
for quite a while, what advice did you give Joey
before he left for the show.
Speaker 1 (13:17):
I think a lot of different advice, but I think
just I wanted him to be himself, and I think
he had never watched the show before he went on,
so we always joked, oh, Joey, we're going to nominate
you to go on The Bachelor one day, and we
did not nominate him. A producer had reached out to
him and his DMS. But I think my mom did
(13:40):
not believe me for a long time. She swore I
nominated him because we would joke about it all the time.
I was like, I really didn't, but this was an
amazing opportunity. I think the advice was just to be himself,
and I had explained sometimes there's a villain on the season,
and sometimes people be depicted in different ways even if
(14:02):
that's not truly who they are. So I just wanted
him to protect his heart, be cautious of people around him,
be trusting, but maybe not too much of not the
lead in the process of the show, but just the
producers and the other men that were there, Like, you
don't know people's motives for going on the show, but
I just wanted him to be himself. And I feel
(14:24):
like that's exactly what he did, and I don't I
don't think you could have spun him any other way
than that, because he was himself. And then I think
when we saw him for Charity's hometown, when he came
home to us, I remember him just talking about how
serious it was, and I remember telling him that it
(14:49):
was hard for me to give the advice because I
didn't want him to be heartbroken at the end. But
he was really teetering between kind of guarding his heart
versus like really go all in to get to the
point to be able to be engaged or to propose,
And I was like, you have to go all in,
Like if you don't, you're going to regret it. You're
either going to be so heartbroken and we'll be here
(15:11):
to help you after, or you're going to get to
the point where you might be engaged. So yeah, obviously
his heart got broken, but it led him to where
he's at now. But I think my advice was if
he really felt that that person that he was pursuing
was worth it and he felt the future that he
had to go all in and kind of risk it all,
(15:32):
which I think he did.
Speaker 3 (15:33):
So wow, that's the best advice that it's the best
advice I think I've ever heard anyone say, because it
is so weird when you get to the end and
I'm sure he experiences too, but you kind of like
you feel.
Speaker 2 (15:48):
Like you're falling in love, but you're realizing.
Speaker 3 (15:52):
Like there's two or three other people on the same
trajectory and like, yeah, it's so hard to like put
your guard down.
Speaker 2 (16:01):
Yeah, but it's so amazing when you do.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Because obviously with Joey, like everyone, that's the thing is
everyone saw his heart and everyone as a viewer fell
in love with who he was and was like, we
want to see you win. In another aspect, like we
want we want you to be the Bachelor, and we
want you to like find somebody so that you can
have this experience and have it be that happy ending.
So that's honestly, like the best advice I think I've
(16:25):
ever heard anybody get really cool. How did you guys
as a family navigate like the scrutiny that comes with
being on the show, because obviously you guys were all
very much loved, but no matter how loved you are,
there's always going to be people that are haters or
trolls or whatever.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Yeah, I try. I definitely would have fun on the
night of the episode airing going on Twitter and following
what people were trying because the memes that people post
are so funny, So that was just like part of
the fun experience it all, especially when Joey was there
with us watching it, because, as you talked about, they
(17:05):
cut so many things out, So when he was there
with us on a Monday night watching it, I think
it was easier to process because I could obviously see
what's being aired on TV, but I could also hear
straight from him what he said or like what the
dynamic of that conversation was. And then I really tried
(17:27):
to cut off looking at things on the internet after
just that night on Twitter. I made the mistake of
looking at Reddit before and I was so ang, it's horrible,
It's so crazy. And for the most part, like we
(17:48):
talked about, things were so positive towards Joey, but it
was the comparison of the women that were on the show,
and I think there was spoilers out that Kelsey wasn't
the person who was engaged to Joey, and I think
there was like just so much speculation between the girls,
and I know Kelsey was involved in that, and I
(18:09):
just already felt protective of her. So I think I
just I had to not look at it because I
can't fight with them and Reddit on Readiley. So I
think the way to deal with it was just getting
the information from the source, which was Joey who was
physically there, and then just trying not to listen to it.
But I cannot take for granted the fact that they're
(18:29):
truly was like, there wasn't a lot to work with
for Joey, so I was good. If people were going
to be coming at him and like really commenting on
his Instagram or things that were in my sight, I
would have made so many burner accounts and I would
have been fighting with people all day, Like I would
have been going crazy.
Speaker 2 (18:47):
I love that.
Speaker 3 (18:48):
That's how my girlfriends are back home as well. Yeah,
and honestly me too. Sometimes if people are in my comments,
I'm like, let me give you a little some like
I'll give me something to talk about. I know where
you just like pin the comment and then like people
in the comments will do it for you, and you're like, yeah,
I didn't even have to like do anything because Bachin
Nation has so many homies that look out for us.
Speaker 2 (19:08):
Yeah, but no, it's so true.
Speaker 3 (19:10):
Kit Linbristoll always uses this term shopping for hate, and
it's so true because if you go looking for it,
you can find it, Like it's so easy to find.
I think that's very healthy the perspective you took and
like implenting those boundaries because it can be so wild
coming off the show and even being off the show,
(19:32):
and like, if you don't if you don't have the
mental strength to like put in those boundaries for yourself,
like you're always going to be reading horrible things about
yourself online because it's it's gonna be out there, but
if you just don't allow yourself to access it, Like
and if they are coming on your page.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
That's different.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
But if you go looking for it, like you are
going to find it. So if you don't go looking.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
For it, it pretty much doesn't exist. Like it's not real.
Speaker 3 (19:56):
It's literally a fantasy world that people are living in
and discussing things that are factually incorrect. It is so
wild to me, but it can be so tormenting to
your mental health. So I love that you were able
to like catch that early on and be like, yeah,
I'm probably not gonna go looking for this, but I
do love it sounds like you are such a like
(20:19):
a real one for Kelsey.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
It sounds like you were already protective of her and
loved her.
Speaker 3 (20:23):
So that is just like it just speaks to y'all's
relationship and just to you as a person as well.
Speaker 2 (20:28):
It's so nice.
Speaker 1 (20:29):
It's so it's just it's it's truly crazy to me,
how drastic, how drastically different it is for men and
women on the show even today, Like people come at
the craziest stuff on Kelsey's TikTok's her instagrams. Yeah, just
don't look at it. Why are you watching it? I
don't understand. I don't understand it, But I think just
(20:50):
the comparison between it's always like it's always women doing
it to other women, and I think for them there's
just there's less to work with. So on that end,
Joey was good. It was more so I wanted to
try and protect Kelsey's heart and it's just it's hard.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
That's very sweet, and it's yeah, it's so wild.
Speaker 3 (21:09):
Yeah the women that there are so many women that
will just come for you. Somebody said recently, and this
I feel like this is taking a dark turn. But
I'm like somebody said recently, no one hates women like
women hate women, and I.
Speaker 1 (21:21):
Was like, it's so true.
Speaker 3 (21:22):
Gosh, like that is so true. Like the amount of
women that have been just yeah, horrible to other women,
whether like it's experiencing it myself being on the show
or seeing it happen in real time watching the show.
Speaker 2 (21:34):
It is so wild.
Speaker 3 (21:35):
But again, kind of like what you said earlier, like
we can't also we can't ignore that there are so
many wonderful people as well that do come and like
fight the fight for us, and they're like this is
not appropriate, like why are you commenting this, but it's
it is. It's crazy that people that it will attract
to just be so like wildly opinionated in a negative way, but.
Speaker 2 (21:58):
I wanted to know what have you been up to?
Speaker 3 (22:00):
Like, Obviously, I see that brands are reaching out to you,
and you're like posting some cool videos on social media,
and I love seeing it. I think everyone, if you have,
if you appreciate and enjoy social media, I'm like, everyone
should be doing social media. It's such a fun, cool
thing to be a part of. What else have you
been up to since the show?
Speaker 1 (22:20):
I just am still working my full time job obviously,
So I am a geriatric social worker. I work in
an assisted living facility, so that's what I do by day,
and then I have the luxury of working a four
day week, so I work for ten hour days, which
is amazing, so I can utilize my day off for
(22:42):
the weekends or in the evenings I'll do make little
videos post them throughout the week. So it's a lot
of work. I give these people so much credit who
do social media and everything full time. It's like these
little videos you make take so long, and then again
I overthink what I'm doing, so I'll edit it and
(23:03):
change it and do it again. So yeah, I have
my job. That's my career that I love, but this
has definitely been something fun on the side to be
to be doing. But again, just such imposter syndrome doing it.
It's just just for fun.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
I feel like most people in social media probably have
that same feeling where it's like, what are like?
Speaker 1 (23:32):
This is?
Speaker 2 (23:33):
But it's so fun? So I think why not?
Speaker 3 (23:37):
But wait, okay, geriatric social worker, how did you get involved?
Like how did you find that as your passion in
your career?
Speaker 1 (23:47):
So I went to college for social work, and you
can do so many things with social work. You can
work with kids, you grow up with homeless people, you
can work with people suffer who suffer from domestic abuse,
you can work in everything. I was so grow so
close to my grandparents growing up. In high school, I
volunteered at nursing homes. I just love that generation, that population.
(24:10):
So I just knew I wanted to work with elderly people,
but I did not want to be a nurse. I couldn't.
I couldn't deal with that from a clinical standpoint. So
this was just a different path I could go down
to work with that specific population. So that's what drove it.
I went to school for social work and then just
(24:31):
right out of college, worked in a nursing home and
then an assisted living and impatient geriatric rehab. So I
just always worked with that population, but I went to
school for it.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
So, oh my gosh, amazing. And also, I know you
mentioned your grandmother passing.
Speaker 3 (24:45):
I'm so sorry, but did I see on your social
media that you guys got a tattoo?
Speaker 1 (24:50):
Yeah? Since it?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
What does it say?
Speaker 1 (24:53):
I will butcher it. We are Italian, but I didn't
speak Italian. My grandma. We have this video of my
grand when I was younger that I took her for.
She said she wanted the words peace and joy in Chinese,
and my cousins and I were all together for her funeral.
We're like, we should get this tattoo. But I have
(25:13):
no connection to Chinese writing. So I took a bunch
of old cards that she had written me and we
translated peace and joy in Italian. It's patcha igioia. So
we just took cards and took a P and an
A and a C, and just my sister traced it
on tracing paper in her handwriting. So then all of
(25:35):
our cousins we got her tattoo. We just did put
a little twist on it.
Speaker 2 (25:39):
I love it. I think she'd like that even better,
you know.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
Like I think she would have gotten it.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Oh that's so cool. I love that.
Speaker 1 (25:48):
Well.
Speaker 3 (25:48):
I am so glad that we got to chat with
you today actually before we go, since there's a new
season happening right now. With all the boys that may
listen to this, who knows, maybe they'll be curious. But
what advice would you give someone going on the show
that's watching it back right now, Like, what advice would
you give them just for like how to navigate this process.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
The guys that are watching it like watching.
Speaker 2 (26:11):
Themselves back, maybe the guys in Jen and Jen.
Speaker 1 (26:14):
I think, I think for everyone just to not to
take it too seriously and to remember that you signed
up for a show and it's reality TV and they're
trying to make good TV at the end of the day.
So I think just being able to laugh at yourself
is super important. I think for Jen, she's doing amazing.
(26:36):
I think I saw something that the ratings went up
and everything, so I'm excited for her. I think for
the guys, specifically the final two, because they think seeing
getting to see both perspectives, Joey being I hate to
say like runner Up, but the person that did not
get engaged versus being able to see how Kelsey navigated
(26:59):
being the person that was is now engaged. I think
it's harder sometimes, at least in my opinion, for the
person that is actually engaged to watch everything back versus
the person who is not engaged at the very end
is having self reflection and realizing you were just there
for such a short amount of time. And hopefully that
(27:22):
person has a good family and friend support system to
help them work through that. But I think for the
person that is engaged, just to again remember they're not
showing your whole love story. They have to show other people's.
I think that's really difficult because you have to kind
of watch their whole season. I don't think it's a
bad idea to not watch every episode or to just
(27:44):
watch the parts that that specific person, if Jen is engaged,
just the parts that they're in together. I just think
it's so hard to navigate, and I think just giving
yourself the freedom to laugh some things off, take things
so seriously, because it's definitely they want to make a
good TV which they do a very very good job of,
(28:07):
so I think just taking things not so seriously, if possible,
if you your said been done, I don't think I
could have ever done it.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Yeah, it's tough, but that's really good advice and hopefully
they are listening and hopefully they can take that to heart.
Speaker 2 (28:20):
But I just want to say thank you so much
for joining us.
Speaker 3 (28:23):
I feel like people are going to be so excited
to hear straight from you.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
Everyone loved you, and thanks for joining us.
Speaker 1 (28:31):
Thank you for having me
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