Redefining Balance & Success: Radhi Devlukia and Milan on Self-Mastery & Purpose

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
A familiar hell rather than unfamiliar heaven. Like you prefer
something that is so bad for you, even though it's familiar,
You prefer that than something that is actually good for
you because it's unfamiliar. You really have to be okay
looking stupid, because I think a lot of people stop
themselves from doing things because they're like.

Speaker 2 (00:20):
Oh, that doesn't go with my image or that.

Speaker 1 (00:22):
Because I'm new at it, I'm going to be bad it,
and people don't want to look new.

Speaker 3 (00:26):
The crowd is the gathering place of the week. So yeah,
pretty much like anyone who gets to sit on the side,
they get to be cynical and they sometimes get to
be right. But the people in the arena eventually they
get to win right and they actually.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
Get to play. That's so far.

Speaker 3 (00:42):
Yeah, I think it's like being in the arena. It's
like the worst day in the arena is still better
than the best day in the crowd.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
I'm rather dabluka and on my podcast A Really Good Cry,
we embrace the messy and the beautiful, providing a space
for raw, unfielded conversations that celebrate vulnerability and allow you
to tune in to learn, connect, and find comfort.

Speaker 2 (01:03):
Together.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
Hey everyone, and welcome back to this week's episode of
A Really Good Cry. Today, I am sharing an episode
that I actually recorded for my friends podcast, but it
was such a great conversation that I wanted to share
it here with you all. Milan has been on this
journey of self mastery for over ten years now and
he has created a community called the Untethered Self Mastery Club.

(01:24):
It is filled with seekers on a mission to defeat procrastination,
eliminate self sabotaging habits, improving their focus, discipline, building routines,
and transforming their life all through self mastery systems and frameworks.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
On and off camera.

Speaker 1 (01:41):
We would always have such thoughtful conversations, and I really
hope you enjoy the conversation as much as I did.

Speaker 3 (01:46):
Okay, welcome back. We are in the kitchen right now,
and I'm joined by a good friend of mine and
she doesn't know it, but a mentor from a distance.
Rodie is a certified nutritionist, student of I Vada of Yoga,
a scripture, Amazon best seller, New York Times bestseller Yea
and overall like a modern day Yogi. I would say anything.

Speaker 2 (02:10):
I missed, No, you got way too much, so.

Speaker 3 (02:14):
Obviously when we first met, I just want to say quickly,
because you were actually handwriting the recipes for the book
that has come out right, which is insane, and to
see it come into something that is physical form is
literally an act of alchemy. So I just want to
say congratulations again. And I did. I was a taste

(02:34):
for a lot of the recipes, and any.

Speaker 2 (02:35):
Of the recipes don't taste good, yes, you can blame it.

Speaker 3 (02:40):
So it only made sense to me if we were
going to do this to make something from the book,
to create an environment energy, to have a good conversation,
but also you know, test the recipes up, so do it.
What are we making?

Speaker 2 (02:51):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (02:52):
So today Millan has chosen the recipe that we're making,
and we're making sticky hoisting noodles. So it has like
the most beautiful colored vegas in there. It's got a
great balance of like sweet, savory, umami, spicy, sweet, bit
sour and for me.

Speaker 2 (03:08):
I just love one pot meal.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
So this was one where you can get home within
thirty minutes, have a really delicious and nutritious meal into
your plate really.

Speaker 3 (03:15):
Fast, and a little vegan smoothie.

Speaker 2 (03:18):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
In the book, I have four different smoothies specifically for
getting in vegan nutrients that people think are usually lacking
when they turn vegan. And so this one is the
calcium smoothie.

Speaker 2 (03:27):
It's got kiwed avocado, some fig all of them are
really rich in calcium. So yeah, boost the bones.

Speaker 3 (03:33):
Sweet. I was vegan for a while, but then I
cou've been a vegetarian my whole life. But I do
want to expel the myth as well, like you can't
get enough protein as a vegan or vegetarian. I don't
really think that's true.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
I don't believe that as all.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
Honestly, I can say I get my blood work done
regularly just to make sure everything's in check and not
to chinx myself or anything.

Speaker 2 (03:51):
But it's pretty healthy. So nothing seems to be missing
in my diet.

Speaker 3 (03:56):
Perfect. Yeah, same as me. All right, let's get into it.

Speaker 1 (03:59):
First, Okay, going to put you to work, Yeah understood,
all right, Okay, I'll chop you chat.

Speaker 3 (04:04):
Yeah all right.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (04:05):
In your book you talked about when you had your
sort of awakening per se. By the way, this is
how we make the recipes at home. I say that
I make it that you just watch. Yeah, you said
you had your awakening when you realize what you eat,
what you think, and the habits that you, you know, sort
of make for yourself. Yeah, pretty much transforms every other

(04:25):
area of your life. So what was the process of
kind of refining those inputs for yourself? Because I believe
that as well, inputs become outputs, right.

Speaker 2 (04:33):
Yeah, refining them?

Speaker 1 (04:35):
I think I really had to sit down and think,
what are the things that are actually taking me towards
my goal or my desire to whether it was spiritual,
whether it was professional, whether it was emotional, Of everything
I'm doing, what ones are going to each category? So
does this bring me towards what I want, away from
what I want, or does it keep me stagnant? And

(04:55):
so when I started creating those lists, I kind of
realized that majority of the things that I said I
wanted to do was not in alignment with the actions
that I was taking right right, or the words that
I was saying, or the places I was going to,
the environments, the energetic environments that I was putting myself into.
None of that was There was maybe a few things
that were in alignment, but most of those things were

(05:17):
actually taking me further away from it. And you kind
of have to think of it in different ways as well,
Like there's the physical aspect of how.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
Does my physical body feel in it?

Speaker 1 (05:25):
Does it feel drained, does it feel energized, does it
feel awakened? And then there's also the emotional and energetic
part where you can go in an environment and you
can probably be physically really active, like let's say you
go into a club, but energetically you leave and you're
probably really drained and it's taking you down to a
different frequency, and so you kind of can't just do
it as a oh yeah, I feel good doing this
and bad doing this. It's like, okay, no, take it

(05:46):
another level and break.

Speaker 2 (05:48):
It down into this categories. Does that make sense?

Speaker 3 (05:50):
It makes a lot of sense. I think that's that's
kind of yeah, very similar to the way I started
refining mine and how did you identify the north stars? Though?
The things the goals that you were wanted to work.

Speaker 1 (06:01):
Towards experimenting, Yeah, I feel like so much of the
things that we do, it's like someone can tell you
this is going to make you feel so amazing, and
you can believe them because you've seen them do it,
but actually until you experience it, for yourself. It's so
difficult to one get the taste for it, the desire
to actually do it. It's like if you think about
working out, theoretically you can have everyone on Instagram telling

(06:23):
you when you do this workout, it's going to make
you feel amazing. Do it every single day and you're
going to feel the best version of yourself. But only
when you do it, and not even do it once.
When you do it twice, three times, four times, five times,
do you get this desire to continue it because you've
felt the benefit of it, And so you can't. I
think you have to try everything out. You can't just
do it once. You have to do it more than that.

(06:43):
It's like going on a date. You can't tell if
you like someone straight away when you go on a
date with them. So when you do things multiple times,
it allows your body to realize because your initial reaction
to a lot of things could be negative, even if
they're positive for you, because your comfort is used to
the negative behaviors. So I've had so many friends who,
let's say they drink a lot of alcohol, and every

(07:04):
time I've been like, Okay, why don't you instead of
drinking alcohol with your friends, get into conversation, go out
and play like tennis together, you know, do an activity
together for them that is so uncomfortable, even though it's
better for their mind and their body. It is such
an uncomfortable place to be that your mind will tell
you this is actually not what you want to be doing,
and so you have to create the new neural pathways

(07:25):
that creates an association that is so much better than
by doing it over and over again, than that initial
reaction of oh no, I'd rather just sit there and
drink with my friends because that's comfortable for me.

Speaker 3 (07:36):
Yeah, and it's that staying right. It's good things feel
good after but feel bad in the moment. Bad things
feel good in the moment, but bad after.

Speaker 1 (07:45):
Or with it a familiar a familiar hell, rather than
an unfamiliar heaven. Like you prefer something that is so
bad for you, even though it's familiar. You prefer that
than something that is actually good for you because it's unfamiliar.

Speaker 3 (08:00):
And you touched on there. How we're three part beings, right,
it's funny at least you just wrote about this, how
it's mind, body, spirit, But we often neglect one or
more areas. Yeah, and that's when you kind of fall
out of alignment, but for your mind specifically, what are
some of the practices or rituals that you do to
kind of bring yourself into alignment.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
What are some of the rituals I do to keep
my mind body in alignment? Is that what you ask me?

Speaker 3 (08:22):
Yeah? For your mind?

Speaker 2 (08:24):
Okay.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
One thing I think is non negotiable is something you're
learning every single day, and whether that is in the kitchen,
whether that's something you're reading, or whether that's something you're
listening to, whether it's fifteen minutes of your day, allowing
we all want to absorb information. I think a lot
of the time we feel the lack of alignment or
even purpose because if you feel like you're constantly outputting,

(08:46):
which a lot of us do, whether it's physically, emotionally
or mentally, whether it's at work or at home, if
you don't feel like you're fueling yourself and you don't
feel intellectually stimulated, emotionally stimulated, and physically stimulated, I personally,
for myself, I fill out of work straight away. And
so I think learning something every single day that's not
linked to a result is actually a huge read an article,

(09:08):
it doesn't have to be something you're going to share
or read a book. It doesn't have to be something
you're going to tell somebody else. But fueling yourself in
some way is a way you're telling your mind and
your body. Just like with food, you fuel your body
with food, and it tells your body you love it
depending on what you eat. In the same way, when
you are reading learning, you're telling your mind that you
are feeding it and that you love your mind and

(09:29):
that you care about it, and you're thinking about how
it thrives and how it achieves something. And so I
think learning is a big.

Speaker 2 (09:36):
Part of it.

Speaker 3 (09:37):
Why did you say not linked to a goal?

Speaker 1 (09:39):
Just because I mean, I feel like so many things
that I loved and enjoyed throughout my life became work.
So like cooking used to be something that I loved,
and then when I started writing the book, I actually
fell out of love with cooking for like months after.
And I think every single thing that we do, even
working out, it's like you go for a workout, you
post about it, and then it becomes something that you're

(10:00):
doing for other people rather than something you're doing for yourself.
So try and do things without documenting it or if
you're documenting it in a journal, let it be just
for yourself.

Speaker 3 (10:09):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (10:09):
Yeah, then you know you're doing it truly for yourself
and not for anybody else, because doing things for other
people doesn't bring the same amount of satisfaction, right Yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:17):
Rick Rubin talks about that a lot as well. Have
you read his book Creative Bout.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
I haven't read his book, but I've seen some of
his podcasts and stuff, and like, the way of thinking
is yeah.

Speaker 3 (10:25):
Please, so you really like it? So he says that
you don't have to monetize your passion because a lot
of the times when you do it, then, like you said,
it becomes work. So yeah, it really depends what you
want out of Like do you want to do the
activity just for the sake of the joy it brings
you yea? Or do you want to do it to
actually create a career out of it?

Speaker 1 (10:42):
Well, balance the two, Like I still cook every single
night for myself. I don't document when I cook every
single night. But I think there's a balance of I
know when I'm in the kitchen and I'm working, versus
when I'm in the kitchen and I have all the
time in the world to experiment and play in the
kitchen versus having it to be Like, there's so much
pressure when I'm filming for there to be a product

(11:02):
that works out at.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
The end of it. But if addition, I'm making a
nighte for myself doesn't look appealing.

Speaker 3 (11:07):
Yeah, it is a matter. Yeah, on the subject of play,
I actually talk about this a lot, right, where you
can find your edge in life when you find what
feels like play to you but works others. I mean,
I didn't come up with that, came out from the
valve and I like that. Yeah, So how like I
did that through a lot of, like you said, experimentation,

(11:28):
repetition and iteration as well. I think that's super important,
like actually using the feedback that you're getting. How did
you kind of do that and how do you think
other people should do it?

Speaker 1 (11:39):
Well, the first thing I would say is you really
have to be okay looking stupid, because I think a
lot of people stop themselves from doing things because they're like.

Speaker 2 (11:49):
Oh, that doesn't go with my image or that.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
Because I'm new at it, I'm going to be bad
it and people don't want to look new.

Speaker 2 (11:55):
Yes, oh my gosh. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (11:57):
Of course.

Speaker 1 (11:57):
Basically, what you're doing is call me here to cook
for you while we have a conversation.

Speaker 2 (12:02):
You're like an Indian auntie.

Speaker 1 (12:03):
You know, every time Aunties come to my house and
they're like, why do you have these big knives? Yea,
they're so used to Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of
people feel like a lot of people don't want to
look like a beginner. And I think that is the problem,
where you don't want to look like someone who doesn't
know what they're doing, especially if you're used to being
good at something else. When you go into new territory,

(12:24):
it's like, oh, okay, I'm going to look stupid or
I'm going to look like I don't know what I'm doing,
and I'm used to looking like I know what I'm doing.
And so you have to be okay with going into
an environment where you may be the bottom of the
class and you may not be used to that because
you're the top of a class and something else. But
if you're willing to look stupid, and you have to
be willing to be honest about not knowing what you're

(12:47):
doing and starting something from scratch, and I think that's
a really important I guess that kind of makes you
humility and lack of ego, Like if you have too
much ego where you don't want to look like a beginner,
that's going to actually stop you from so much in
your life, including this.

Speaker 3 (13:01):
Yeah, I completely agree because I'm exactly the same. I
hate looking like a newvie at something naturally competitive, right, So,
like everything I do, even this right now, I feel
like fool look like a newvie. But like, yeah, if
it's a new sport actually, or it's a new you know,
whatever it is, I'm trying. Yeah, I want to be
the best at it, right.

Speaker 1 (13:20):
Yeah, but I just think that that I've definitely been
in that position before, you know, even when I started.
I would say the thing that I'm the most uncomfortable
in that I do at the moment is being like
a female entrepreneur. It's just and what I mean with
that is like in a business way. I really struggled
with that narrative. Every time I'll be asked to go
on panels to talk about the business side of my life,

(13:42):
I would be like, oh, they picked the wrong person,
Like I really shouldn't be up there. I will struggle
with that because I'm not the typical like CEO. I'm
not someone who knows about business and finances in that way.
But what I realized was if I didn't try it,
I'm never going to get better at it. And so yeah,
I'm going to be probably the worst in the room
and I probably had the least amount of experience.

Speaker 2 (14:03):
But then you have to think.

Speaker 1 (14:04):
I guess I always go back to like do I
want to learn or do I want to stunt my growth?
And I'm actually stunting my own growth by.

Speaker 2 (14:11):
Choosing to do that.

Speaker 3 (14:12):
Yeah. I think a lot about this as well, Like
the it's the arena, right, everyone who's in the audience.
I think who said I think it was Christian Amority
or something. He said that the crowd is the gathering
place of the week. So yeah, pretty much like anyone
who gets to sit on the side, they get to
be cynical and they sometimes get to be right. But

(14:33):
the people in the arena eventually they get to win
right and they actually.

Speaker 2 (14:37):
Get to play.

Speaker 3 (14:38):
That's so fue Yeah, I think it's like being in
the arena. It's like the worst day in the arena
is still better than the best day in the crowd.

Speaker 2 (14:46):
I also think that's where judgment comes from.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
I was actually just reading I don't know, at least
with the New York Times article, and that just came
out as anyway, it was about judgment. They were saying,
how actually, if you're if you had done the process,
you will never judge someone else because you understand what
it takes. But as soon as you're on the outside
and you're watching in, it is so easy.

Speaker 2 (15:07):
To judge and criticize someone.

Speaker 1 (15:09):
Because you're in your mind, you're like, I could have
done it, beath, but you haven't even tried. But in
your mind you are telling yourself because it masks other emotions,
and it also masks insecurity. It's easier to judge and
criticize someone having never done what they've done because it
makes you feel better about yourself. But if you've been
in it, I know, like when you told me how
your editing and like doing everything for your content. I've

(15:32):
done it, so I know how difficult it is, so
I can truly appreciate your craft. But if you haven't
been in it, then it's so much easier to just
stand on the outside and be like, oh, if I
wanted to, I could, yeah, and I make yourself feel
good about yourself.

Speaker 3 (15:44):
Yeah, yeah, But that's the thing that if they wanted to,
they actually could, but they just don't want to go
through that barrier of looking stupid, looking dumb, and.

Speaker 2 (15:52):
Sometimes you might not be able to.

Speaker 1 (15:54):
I think that's the other thing that you also have
to learn, and this whole thing is sometimes you can
try something. I tried public speaking. I asked to come
on stages and speak at events, and I honestly it
was something I had zero desire to do. I absolutely
just don't like standing in front of a big crowd.
I find it really difficult. I love engaging with people

(16:14):
one on one in like a workshop setting, but standing
on stage with like five hundred people or whatever in
front of me I really struggle with. Last year, I
decided that I was just going to say yes and
try it out. I did like three or four speaking engagements.

Speaker 2 (16:28):
I did it.

Speaker 1 (16:28):
I worked really hard for like a month trying to
perfect it. I got on that stage, I did it.
I got off the stage and I didn't enjoy it.
And I did it, and I thought, Okay, let me
do it a few times. I did it three times
and I was like, actually, I'm not the best at this.
I'm actually not that great at And so I think
it's also okay to realize that even if you have
put in a lot of effort into something, there is
a possibility that you may not be good at it.

(16:50):
But it's also okay because otherwise because then you'll find
something else that.

Speaker 3 (16:54):
You're good at and you wouldn't have known until you tried. Basically, yeah, right, I.

Speaker 2 (16:57):
Would have always wondered.

Speaker 3 (16:58):
Yeah, yeah, I was talking to my friend about it's
recently actually like how to find your purpose. Let's say
it's a process of like uncovering rather than discovering. So
like every phase that you go through, Like for example,
I've had like ten businesses in the past, and every
single one was like actually useful for me right now, Yeah,
Like the skills you wouldn't think about are serving me now.

Speaker 2 (17:19):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (17:20):
So it's like a great uncovering.

Speaker 2 (17:22):
It all compounds something.

Speaker 1 (17:24):
Yeah, it all comes together, Like there are so many
skills that I never thought I would use being a
nutrition and dietitian. Now, like some of the stuff I learned,
I was like, this was so unnecessary. And then randomly
there'll be one conversation where someone's asking me something. I
was like, I literally learned that when I was doing
this and I had no idea that they would come
in handy. So I think every experience is there is
something to learn if you choose to have the eyes

(17:46):
to receive it in that way. But you have to
decide that that's how you want to see life. Otherwise
everything can be like a waste of time.

Speaker 3 (17:53):
Right, choose to see, choose to have the eyes to see. Yeah,
maybe that's powerful. That's a clip that I'm curious about.
How you think about pain, right obviously? Yeah, pain, do
you think it's a precursor for joy? Like, do you
think it's necessary? Because if you look at like every
great artist, every great poet, every great athlete, even they

(18:14):
had a process of like transmuting that pain into progress.

Speaker 2 (18:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:19):
You know, I've had so many different versions of this
or like perspectives on this. I remember sitting at a
table actually randomly with Trevoroa, and he truly was saying
how much he does not believe that you should be
you should have to have pain to feel goodness in
your life, Like, he doesn't think that that duality is necessary.

(18:39):
And so I've really been thinking about it because he's
the first person that I've ever heard say that he
doesn't think that that's necessary because you always hear like,
turn your pain into.

Speaker 2 (18:47):
Success and your pain into joy.

Speaker 1 (18:49):
I personally think that, and I think there's one one
part to it is we'll never know because we've all
had pain. And I do think that sometimes you need
every single in life there is a duality. There's not
one thing that isn't whether it's like every single opulence
that exists in the world where it's fame, money, beauty,

(19:09):
there is always the opposite effect to it too, So
you can have success, but you can still be upset,
like there is nothing that exists that doesn't have a
negative or what we see as a negative reaction to it.
And I honestly think that's how I personally think that's
how the world works. It's like you would not know
joy if you haven't felt pain, and I do think
that that's true. I don't necessarily think everybody has to

(19:31):
have gone through the most traumatic experience to get to
a place where they have a voice. I think these
days sometimes that's the case where you think, I remember
going on a panel and all these people that had
so much that had happened to them, whether it's in
their childhood or throughout their life, and I was sitting
there and I was like, I can't just make up
that I've been through really traumatic times. But there are
also lots of people who haven't been through extreme times,

(19:53):
and so you can relate to those people. I don't
have to be someone who's gone through you know, I
had quite a nice childhood upbringing, like my parents were wonderful.
That doesn't mean that I still can't connect to people
on a level of pain, because I can have empathy
for them, and so I do think that there's a
level of appreciation that comes, unfortunately, only once you've been
through something bad.

Speaker 2 (20:11):
Yeah, because that's how our human minds are wired.

Speaker 1 (20:14):
If we were all wired from a young age to
just feel gratitude, then we won't even think of pain
as being pain. We think of it as this is
just part of the journey. This is like something that's
necessary to take me to another place. But none of
us really feel like that all the time, and so
some unfortunately.

Speaker 2 (20:30):
I think the human mind is created.

Speaker 1 (20:32):
In a way that, yeah, maybe you do need to
realize what's negative to appreciate what's positive.

Speaker 3 (20:38):
Right, Yeah, I think the same way. I think that
everything exists on kind of like a pendulum. Right, Yeah,
it's swings specter back and forth. But then don't you
think then it's also down to your capacity and your
level of consciousness to kind of determine whether an event
is good or bad. And it's because most events, if
you think about it, are kind of neutral.

Speaker 1 (20:58):
I do think it's that, But I also so you know,
the deeper I've gotten into my spiritual practices, or the
more I listen to people who have been in the
spiritual practice for far longer than I have, I really
just think it's a rewiring of your brain of it's
not whether it's good or bad. It's seeing it as
I surrender to whatever it is. And so it's not

(21:20):
that this is good and this is bad for me.
It's that whatever is meant for me I surrendered to.
I will try my best in any way possible to
create a specific outcome.

Speaker 2 (21:31):
But at the end of the day, good or bad,
Like who knows? Have you had that story? The good
or bad? Who knows? Yea?

Speaker 1 (21:37):
And I just the farmer, And I really I remember
that story every time I'm like, oh my gosh, why
did this happen to me? Or this is so horrible?
How is this happening, like even my grandma being on
well right now, I was like, how is this happening?
Like this shouldn't be happening. That's the first thoughts that
come to your mind. And then I'm like, oh my gosh,

(21:57):
now I get to spend all this time with her
that I would have never been able to spend that
right because I'm prioritizing being around her.

Speaker 2 (22:04):
So yes, the first thought is this is a bad thing.

Speaker 1 (22:07):
If I tell someone my grandma's got cancer, They're going
to be like, oh my gosh, that's awful. And yeah,
that's how I felt the beginning. But now I'm like,
oh my gosh, how great is the world and how
great is God? That I get noticed and I get
time to actually spend with that person. And so I
think it's the idea of surrender because I think most
of us like to control our outcomes and saying good

(22:29):
or bad, I don't know, but I know the world
and the universe and God is going to do what's
best for me. But also realizing that from bad can
come good and from good can come bad.

Speaker 3 (22:38):
Yeah yeah, I was literally about to say that. So,
like every it's like a paradox, right, every positive experience
that you chase kind of turns into a negative one
because you're reminded of the things that you don't have exactly,
But then every negative experience turns into a positive one
eventually they both can't see. So it's that like, and
I think.

Speaker 1 (22:54):
That's a choice, Like you think about something negative happens.
One person could turn to addiction and another person could
turn to grow.

Speaker 2 (23:00):
How does that choice get made?

Speaker 3 (23:02):
Yeah? Yeah, I saw something recently that said, like, the
best indicator to tell you that you're on this part
of growth and your like consciousness is rising, is that
you understand it's all a choice. Like, every single thing
is a choice, and that's something.

Speaker 2 (23:15):
You have to really exercise, isn't it.

Speaker 1 (23:17):
I think about even when you when if I've got
jealous or envious of someone, or if the first thing
that comes into my mind is a negative thought, how.

Speaker 2 (23:25):
Do you change that?

Speaker 1 (23:26):
Well, it's either you let that thought be or you
try and follow up with a correcting thought.

Speaker 2 (23:33):
And so is that Okay?

Speaker 1 (23:34):
I may if I came in here and I was like,
oh not that I thought this the same.

Speaker 2 (23:38):
When a million did this. Oh my god, he's so rude.

Speaker 1 (23:41):
It's me creating with like, Okay, how can I make
this thought more empathetic? Or maybe he did this because
this isn't this right?

Speaker 3 (23:46):
Right?

Speaker 1 (23:47):
So I think there is the ability to rewire, maybe
not for the initial thought, but definitely for the secondary thought.

Speaker 3 (23:53):
Yeah. I call that, like I have a process around
that called like multi dimensional thinking. So you don't think
about it in one level, yeah, trying think about the
second and third order consequences of like that thought and
whatever else can stem from it, right, Yeah, how has
your definition of nourishment changed like throughout the years? And
that can be like spiritual nourishment, it could be actual
like physical nourishmen.

Speaker 1 (24:14):
I used to link nourishment a lot to you know,
when you think nourishmen. I used to think of it
as just being physical body related, but I realized how
much each of them are so intertwined. And so I've
noticed for me even when my this is kind of
done by.

Speaker 4 (24:28):
The way, all right, yeah.

Speaker 2 (24:39):
That's actually quick, that's right.

Speaker 3 (24:40):
It looks exactly there saying that's crazy, does it?

Speaker 2 (24:44):
I made this in a while, honestly. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (24:46):
I used to see nourishment is such a physical body
thing that like when you nourish your body.

Speaker 2 (24:51):
Everything else is kind of taken care of.

Speaker 1 (24:52):
And that's like the main thing, because I think at
that time that was where my whole focus in my
life was physical body.

Speaker 2 (24:58):
And then I just realized how much.

Speaker 1 (25:00):
A synergy there has to be between all three aspects
of like emotional, physical, and spiritual. And for me, I
find that as soon as my spiritual nourishment depletes, it
really impacts every other part, not impacts directly, like it
doesn't mean that my physical body doesn't feel good. It
reduces my desire to do things that are good for

(25:21):
my physical body. So when I'm in a lower consciousness
or a lower like spiritual vibration, I then won't care
as much about what I'm eating. I won't want to
nourish my body in a way that I think of
it as an instrument of God's grace or as an
instrument of doing good things in my life. And so
it may not be like, oh, I feel pain in
my body because I'm not doing this spiritual thing. It

(25:43):
actually just changes the way that I receive life, and
therefore don't treat my body in the way that I should,
don't have conversations that I should be having, like I
may gossip with you instead of having these visual conversations.

Speaker 2 (25:56):
And in the same way, when I.

Speaker 1 (25:57):
Don't eat right, what you eat literally can change the
way that your mood is, your energy levels are, which
means then if I'm not eating right, if I don't
have the physical energy to actually go for a workout
or want to run, or want to go out and
about and socialize with people, then that impacts my emotional
health and so all of those things. I just think
there's so much, so many wires that overlap with each one. Yeah,

(26:19):
that you have, and look, there may be times in
your life where you're like, I really can't prioritize my
physical body right now because I'm hustling. Yeah, and I
maybe have time to do a fifteen minute walk, but
that's still something. And I think there doesn't have to
be an equal balance at all times. I think you
can really be I'm doing this much for my physical body,
this much for my mentor, and this much for my
emotional but just know what the repercussions are of that

(26:40):
and how you can maybe balance it out in six
months time or in seven months time.

Speaker 3 (26:45):
Yeah, I agree with that. I think when I had
my episode with the Starhole Bloom. He said the same thing.
He said that it exists things exist on a dimmer
switch rather than like I take that. Yeah, yeah, so like, yeah,
maybe this season, when you're hustling, you turn down the
dimmert switch of your physical body, right, like training or something, right.

Speaker 2 (27:00):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (27:01):
Yeah. On the idea of balance as well, I'm curious
about what you think, right, because I personally believe that
balance doesn't exist like in the early stages anyway, there
has to be an imbalance to later then create balance.

Speaker 2 (27:14):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (27:15):
Have you found the same thing with like work and
life and everything in general? Balance in what you mean
in balancing all areas of your life. So if you
want to have a social life, you want to have
a good career, you want to have your physical health
and mental health and whatever else, it is.

Speaker 2 (27:28):
Equal balance in all of that. Yeah, I don't think so.

Speaker 3 (27:31):
Because a lot, yeah, a lot of people strive for balance, Like, yeah,
they want balance, that's what they're optimizing for. But I
think that's a trade there's a big trade off. Like
if you want to actually achieve, I think.

Speaker 2 (27:39):
It depends what your goal is at the time.

Speaker 1 (27:41):
So like there can be a balance, but that balance
is proportionate to what your goal is. So if your
goal is to build a business, if a goal is
to build a million dollar business this year, yeah, you
probably aren't going to see your friends Saturday and sund Friday,
Saturday and Sunday. I know, you probably can't go out
and drink on a Friday nighty night, and during the
weekdays you're probably gonna have to be non existent to them.

(28:04):
And so if that's your dream, then that balance is
right for that dream. But like, if your dream is
I want to create a family and I actually want
to find a partner, then you should be going out
on like the balance will be I'm going out on
dates and I'm socializing as much as I possibly can
to find my partner, and I'm doing all the right
things for my health to be able to have a baby.

(28:24):
And so then the balance is right for that goal.
And so no, I don't think there's like an equal
balance of anything. I think it's what is the balance
that's right for the goal I'm trying to achieve. Well,
theyan like let's just have balance, But like what does
that mean, Because by the way, for me having an
equal balance of everything, I don't think I would actually.

Speaker 2 (28:42):
Thrive in that environment.

Speaker 1 (28:44):
So it's what balance are you thriving And it's like
an iravader like nothing is the same for each person,
whether it's what you're eating, whether it's your bodily constitution,
and so in the same way, balance for each person
has to be an individual decision and an individual formula.

Speaker 3 (29:02):
So's identifying like what season you're in basically as well. Yeah, yeah,
that's powerful. We're on the note of balance, but more
so actually going back to the energy that you create
for the three part of yourself, the mind, body, spirit.
Your book is good joyful obviously, but and when you
said you said it in your book when you cook,
the energy or the intention that you're cooking with goes

(29:22):
into the food. But what about the times when you're
not really feeling that, how do you kind of narroge that, well, you're.

Speaker 2 (29:28):
Not feeling like being nice joyful?

Speaker 1 (29:29):
Yeah, I don't think it has to be that you're
feeling outwardly joyful at all moments in time.

Speaker 2 (29:37):
I think it's really difficult to feel that way constantly
for anyone.

Speaker 1 (29:41):
And I think joy is a fleeting emotion, but I
think contentment is something that you can actually feel at
all times, even when things are turbulent, and there's like
primary emotions, which is like sad, happy, angry, whatever those
emotions are. And then there's the underlying of that where
you can still feel the ebbs and flows of the
ten emotions, but you have an underlying current of gratitude, empathy,

(30:09):
understanding for others and allowing that to be the constant.
And how do you build that? Because the turbulent emotions
are part of human life. You can't ever sit there
and see someone crying their eyes out and not feel
sad for them, like that's impossible. Or you can't have
someone passing away in your life and feel like, oh
it's fine, it's just you know, a part and part
out of how things go, no matter how spiritual you are.

(30:31):
And so I think, of course there are times where
I'm literally like, I cry my eyes out a lot.

Speaker 2 (30:36):
To be honest, I have a weekly cry. I'm not
gonna lie.

Speaker 1 (30:38):
It's my podcast. That's why I call it that, because
I do have. I'm extremely emotional. I go through ebbs
and flow of emotions a lot, but each emotion I
can tie back to gratitude and empathy and tolerance, and
if I focus on those underlying emotions and qualities and
how to build those. Then those emotion has become easier

(31:00):
to handle.

Speaker 2 (31:01):
Does that make sense?

Speaker 3 (31:02):
It makes a lot of sense. I know, I actually
had it put that.

Speaker 2 (31:04):
Actually haven't said it in that way.

Speaker 3 (31:05):
So you said you spoke on a panel, right, And
I'm also about your business side. I think that's not
the side that people really hear about it, I know,
but I think I think they should hear that because
there's a lot to you obviously, so being a newbie
less style, Like would you put it, consider yourself a
newbie in business?

Speaker 2 (31:25):
You know what?

Speaker 1 (31:26):
I probably would, but people probably wouldn't say, I am.

Speaker 3 (31:28):
But yeah, But what kind of lessons have you learned
specifically from business that you know you didn't expect going
into it.

Speaker 1 (31:36):
That you don't have to be like a typical CEO,
girl boss vive when you're running a business, right, and
that it's okay to not want to be like I
love the creative part of what I do, Like I
have obviously a tea company, and in that from everything
from the visuals to what goes into the drinks to

(31:58):
making sure that there's the right amount and quantities of
the adaptagens that I want in that drink and basically
everything that I know that I have a passion for
and I am an expert in and can actually contribute
in a positive way. I'm happy that being my skill set.
When I decided, I was like, should I actually be
like taking on a CEO role in this company? I

(32:18):
was like, is my energy better spent trying to master
becoming a CEO or is my energy better spent on
the quality of this drink, what's actually going to help
it sell and the parts that.

Speaker 2 (32:30):
I can do.

Speaker 1 (32:31):
And so luckily, obviously I'm grateful that I had a
team that I could hire to do those things. Should
I learn about those things, I did learn about them.
I did think if I had to do this, would
I be able to do it? But I think playing
to your strengths and not trying to be someone that
doesn't fit necessarily into your personality or the things that
you'd enjoy doing every single day is really important and
being realistic about it. So when I got on Panels

(32:53):
and there's CEOs and people who are actually doing those things,
I just share what I know from the part of
the business that I am part of, versus trying to
sit in a seat that's not actually built for me
and that I haven't earned.

Speaker 3 (33:05):
I think that's really powerful because a lot of founders,
or first time founders especially, they want to play the role,
but they don't understand that sometimes it's not to their
strength and they don't identify their actual strengths. Like for
me as well, and I'm the same. I don't really
like the more analytical side of business. Yeah, I have
to do it, I know how to do it. Yeah,
But like I thrive more on the creative side, like

(33:26):
things like this, right. So yeah, I think that's powerful
that you've transcended that kind of I think it's a
bit of an ego track.

Speaker 2 (33:31):
Actually, I think it is too.

Speaker 1 (33:33):
And I'll be honest though, when it comes to content creation,
I started off doing everything myself, from editing to filming
to you know, working with every single person that I
needed to to make what I needed to get done done.
And that is a beautiful place to be in whether
I had, like I didn't have the money opportunity to
even do that if I wanted to outsource it to anyone. Yeah, yeah,

(33:55):
but I think that is important. There's one thing about
being able to out and having the means and the
ability to do that. But had I not done all
of this, I would have been taken for a ride
most of the time, because I now know if I
need to do what I can. But also I know
what to expect from people because I'm like, oh, but
I've done all of this by myself, so I know

(34:16):
what to expect from if I have a social media manager.
I know what to expect if have a videographer or
an editor. And so I think there's one thing about
leaning into your strengths, but also knowing every part of
your business, because if you own something, you need to
know how to create every part of it, or at
least have an understanding of it.

Speaker 3 (34:34):
Yeah, I think it's true because most people, like you said,
get taken for a ride. I mean, I know I did,
like in the early days when I was hiring out
the stuff that I didn't actually want to learn totally.

Speaker 1 (34:42):
And yeah, just feel more empowered that way, and then
you're constantly in It's better to be in the know
about something rather than giving your power. I would say
as giving my power away. I'm like, what parts of
my life am I comfortable giving my power away in?

Speaker 2 (34:54):
And what parts of my life? Am I not comfortable
doing that?

Speaker 1 (34:57):
And I think you can't keep all your power because
there's a balance between growth and keeping your power. But
I think in certain areas you have to be able
to give it away but still have.

Speaker 2 (35:07):
An eye on it. To blend this.

Speaker 3 (35:08):
Now, let's do it. Oh yeah. When you create though,
when you're creating, whether it's food, whether it's setting off, yeah,
there's plenty. That's when you're creating food, creating content, starting
a business, Who are you creating for?

Speaker 1 (35:22):
Like, that's a really good question, And if I'm completely honest,
sometimes it's for brands I'm that I'm working for. And
sometimes I get lost in creating for the algorithm and
then it doesn't make me happy and then I come
back to myself. And so I feel like there's a
big cycle that I go through of Okay, yeah, I
to put out free content, I do have to work

(35:43):
with brands to be able to pay for it, which
a lot of people also don't see how much money
goes into creating content too, and so and I do
enjoy working with brands as well.

Speaker 2 (35:51):
I think there are some really great ones out there.

Speaker 1 (35:53):
But I have to say that whenever I end up
going back to there's always a point I go through
these ebbs and flows throughout the year where I'm like,
oh my god, I don't even enjoy making content anymore.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
I realize why it is.

Speaker 1 (36:03):
It's because I'm not making stuff that actually makes me
feel like I'm contributing. And so what I've learned is
I have to Now now I have a good balance
of like, this is the stuff I think I should
be doing, this is the stuff I want to do,
and this is the stuff that's purely for to give
out to people.

Speaker 2 (36:20):
As whether it does well or not, I don't care.

Speaker 1 (36:22):
And having that balance has been really important for my
ability to keep creating and not feeling like I'm just
on this yeah.

Speaker 3 (36:30):
Yeah, yeah. I think I was lucky very early on
to learn to just create for an audience of one,
which is yourself, right, yeah, because yeah, otherwise you get
trapped by your audience expectations. You know, like, if something
takes off you, I say, then people who follow you
from that are expecting more similar content to that. That
thing that took off might not be what you actually
wanted to create, but.

Speaker 1 (36:50):
I do you think it's for you know, I totally
used to be like that, where I was like, I
think it's it has to be for me when you
think about it, You're creating so an audio and.

Speaker 2 (37:00):
Sees it, and so it has to be.

Speaker 1 (37:02):
It's also someone I don't know who said this name
I have been Jay, and he was like, it's all
good and well, if you want to create content for you,
and that's fine, but actually, when you think about service,
if you're doing it as a point of serving others,
then there has to be consideration of other people.

Speaker 3 (37:17):
That's true.

Speaker 1 (37:17):
And so I think sometimes we're like, oh, create content
for yourself, and I'm saying this from a personal experience
where I used to feel that way, and then I'm like, no,
but that's not service. Then that's still selfish service. So
how can I create a balance of serving what my
needs are? But at the same time, if I'm trying
to create a community, I can't create for myself while
trying to create a community. That's very true, and so

(37:39):
I think that's why there has to be this balance
of yeah, I am creating for myself, but also I
am going to do what the people in the community
want me to do too, because without community, there's also
it's difficult creating without having someone to receive it.

Speaker 3 (37:53):
Yeah, great point, that's true. But then when it comes
to actually ties in perfectly with detachment right from business
and results from how many people have seen your staff
or what not, how do you sort of balance that
because sometimes we're not balance probably the wrong word, but
how do you navigate that?

Speaker 2 (38:10):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (38:11):
I honestly still find it really difficult, Like when things
that I really want to do, I'll give you an example.
The content I love making the most is food content.
It is like if I would make food content all day,
every day if I could, but my audience tend to
prefer health hacks, wellness, skin care, hair care, spiritual conversations,

(38:32):
and so yes, I'm sure I would find the audience
that would want to watch food all day. And so
I think there has to be this feeling of I've
detached for when I make. When I do do food content,
I'm like, okay, you know what this. I know, I
know this is for me, and so whether it does
or it doesn't do well, I kind of have to
be okay with the with the because the information is

(38:53):
out there for me to know what they're going to
like if I'm choosing to put things out that I
know I'm going to do as well, but it makes
me happy creating it. Then I have to also know
that ye're fine. It probably won't go viral, it probably
won't get me growth in that way, but it'll probably
gets me growth yeah my way. Yeah, but it's really
hard to detach from it, especially where the whole world
is based around result in some way.

Speaker 3 (39:12):
Yeah, it is. I think I just heard Jordan Peterson
talk about this that good is directly tied to goal.
You can't have good without a goal. Yeah, and yeah,
I think it's true. I think because I try to
operate from detachment. Obviously with everything I do once I
put it out there, or like even in my old businesses,
i'd never kind of set an expectation because obviously expectation

(39:32):
is the mother of all disappointment and whatnot. But then
on some level you do have to have, like an
old star, something that you're aiming towards. So it's like
finding that middle ground is tough.

Speaker 1 (39:41):
And I think it's more detachment. I think the detachment
that's being spoken about is detachment from your own worth.
But if you have a business goal, like let's say
you are trying to grow your following. Yeah, if you
are trying to do that, then, of course goals come
with expectations, and they do come with attachment because you
care about something. When you care about something, there's attachment
to something, and so when you have a goal, you

(40:04):
can be attached to it to get growth in a
specific area. But as long as that attachment isn't linked
to you. So it's like, Okay, I know, I want
a really good cry to hit. I don't know what
is that like. Let's say I'm like, okay, bye, I
tell my team I want to hit one hundred k
followers by this point of time. But also I want
to have an engaged community. I want to have really
good feedback. I want this, this, and this. I have

(40:26):
these goals.

Speaker 3 (40:26):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (40:27):
For me, that goal is linked to my business. It's
not linked to them liking me. I'm not seeing as
a direct hit if they say they don't like a
really good cry or what I'm speaking about as me
being a bad person, or that they think I'm not
good at what I do. So I think there's attachment
to your goals, but that attachment not being in an

(40:48):
attachment to who you are and the worth that you have.

Speaker 3 (40:50):
Yeah, detaching your self worth from your productivity even yeah,
or from your results. Yeah, absolutely. I think in business
as well, that's very hard to do because they're both links.

Speaker 2 (41:00):
Yeah, that's the life style to take it personally.

Speaker 3 (41:02):
Yeah, everything literally. I kind of think that serves me
sometimes though definitely, because it depends what kind of mindset
or frame you operate from. Like I don't know if
you've seen The Last Chance Michael Jordan's documentary.

Speaker 2 (41:13):
Yeah, that was so good.

Speaker 3 (41:15):
Like, I think I more lean towards that, where it's like, okay, yeah,
if something negative happens, then I can like spin that
into something like into fuel. But yeah, that's just my
frame of operating.

Speaker 1 (41:27):
No, And I think that's such a again, I think
it's such a personal way of dealing with things.

Speaker 3 (41:31):
All right, let's eat. It's really good. It's exactly the
same as the as the book, which is crazy, and
that mine never seems to come out that way. I
don't know why I want to talk more about the
iovadic and holistic well being because that's what's what you're
all about pretty much. But firstly, starting with intention intentionally
consuming things. Right, So obviously we're intentionally consuming this, but

(41:51):
how are you choosing, like, aside from your physical diet,
what are you choosing to consume like mentally as well?
And how do you feel to that?

Speaker 1 (42:00):
Yeah, I have done that in so many different ways
because I noticed how much different things were affecting me.
So the first thing I remember doing it with was
what I was watching. And so I remember when I
made a decision to go to the temple that was
close by when I started my meditation practice. I decided
that every morning I wanted to go there for the
four point thirty prayers and meditate there with the monks

(42:23):
till like before work. And what I noticed was the
moment I got to my front door because obviously it
was dark outside, I got to my front door to
leave the house, and I was so scared to leave
because of all the thoughts that were coming into my
mind from movies of like when you walk out of
your door at night, yeah, as a woman, like what
could happen to you? And so I stopped watching scary movies,

(42:43):
things that created like high anxiety in me, and things
that just had too much like stimulation that was unnecessary.
And so literally, within three months of doing that, my
like my anxiety levels was so much lower. Because of that,
getting out of the door wasn't an issue. My mom
was thinking of the craziest things that could possibly happen
based on what I've seen in movies.

Speaker 2 (43:03):
So when I did that, I noticed what an impact
it had.

Speaker 1 (43:07):
I thought about all the other things, and so really
it's every single thing that you let into a sensus.
So from what you're seeing, what you're hearing, what you're tasting, smelling,
but you're smelling like every single thing curating that and look,
you can't curate it completely, but you can balance it.
So I know that if three times a week I'm

(43:27):
going to a loud, noisy nightclub and staying out late,
I also know that in the morning when meditation is
going to be thinking of the loud, noisy music I
was listening to the night before, And it really does.
There's one thing about how it affects you physically and mentally,
but there's definitely an energetic frequency thing that happens when
you enter specific environments. And there's such a difference when

(43:49):
you walk into a room full of people meditating to
if you're walking into a club of people intoxicated whatever.
And so I started noticing the energetic differences between locations
that I was going to, filtering it based on what
was my thought the next day, Like I wake up
in the morning, am I thinking of the thing I
want to be thinking of, which is.

Speaker 2 (44:08):
Like God and goodness?

Speaker 1 (44:10):
Or am I waking up thinking of like the song
I heard about asses last night?

Speaker 2 (44:14):
You know, like, so I think it's like really what?

Speaker 3 (44:18):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (44:18):
No, probably something, but yeah, so I think I started
noticing what are the thoughts in between the things I'm doing?

Speaker 3 (44:26):
Yea?

Speaker 1 (44:27):
And based on the thoughts that were in between the
things that I was doing, where have those thoughts come from?

Speaker 2 (44:31):
Was it from Love Island that I was watching last night?

Speaker 1 (44:34):
Was it from the thing the monk said yesterday morning
when I was listening to it. Is it from a
conversation I had with a friend? Because that's allowing things
into my ear, like what are all those things and
how is it affecting those thoughts in between?

Speaker 3 (44:47):
That's really powerful because I have a similar process of
finding your triggers, right. Basically, there's a process of going
through and kind of backtracking through your emotions or like
how you were thinking, and then finding the trigger points
of what actually initiated that Sleepings of thoughts, and once
you find the triggers, then it's easier to recognize the
next time, right, because like if you find your patterns,

(45:08):
then you know then you can change them. Yeah, And
like I said with the frequency thing, I think we
are like programmable by nature and we can't. Everyone says,
actually transcend your programming, but I don't actually believe that.
I'm curious to get your thoughts. I think you could
choose your programming. Yeah, but you can't really transcend it.

Speaker 1 (45:24):
I don't know whether that's unless you're like the most
enlightened human being. I just don't think that we are
wired to not be programmed. I think we are creatures
of habit I think we're creatures of assimilation into Like
everything around us does affect our our exten environment does
affect our intel environment, even if it's the weather. Like
there's so much science that says that you know, people's mood,

(45:47):
people's energy levels, so many things are affected just by
the weather changing.

Speaker 2 (45:51):
So if it's just by the weather changing, imagine.

Speaker 1 (45:53):
How much it's changed by If I walk into a
room and energetically you're feeling low or you're angry, I'm
going to feel that straight away.

Speaker 2 (46:00):
Whether I'm aware of it or not. I've become a
lot more aware.

Speaker 1 (46:03):
Of those things, even when it comes to people on
my team or the people I'm around all the time.

Speaker 2 (46:07):
It's like, if I'm at.

Speaker 1 (46:08):
The end of the day feeling energetically drained, not physically,
but energetically, why am I not around people that. Yes,
of course they're going to take from me, but I
also should be getting nourishment back in some way. And
if I'm coming up coming into the office at level
hundred and I'm trying to give as much energy as
possibly can and someone's at twenty, I'm going down to
a fifty. Yeah, because there's only so much I can

(46:30):
keep to this frequency if I'm not being given that
at the same time. And so maybe I need to
look into it more or experience it more, but or
maybe I'm just an amateur in it. But I don't
think you can transcend your programming. I think you can
elevate it. I think you can change it. I think
you can change all your neural pathways and all the habits.

Speaker 2 (46:49):
And stuff that you do. But I don't know whether
the point is to transcend it.

Speaker 3 (46:53):
Yeah, I don't think we are actually supposed to transcend it.
So one of the things that you showed me, I
think not on purpose, though I think it was indirectly,
was like this idea of perception. Right, you invited me
to Jay show that he did live, and then afterwards
there was this whole It was a whole new experience
for me because obviously I'm watching as a creator as well,
not just as a as an audience member or a fan,

(47:15):
but also as a creator, and this whole thing of
like reality, perception is reality, And what I observe obviously
from that night was one how you are interacting with
people and how people perceive you versus how you perceive them, right,
because they don't you don't particularly know them, but they
know you because you've been on their phone or their
YouTube video or whatever. How have you like kind of

(47:37):
been navigating that recently because you gave me a gem,
which I'll tell you afterwards.

Speaker 1 (47:40):
I think the more comfortable I feel in my own skin,
the more comfortable I feel with I am, with what
I'm doing, and that comes with alignment of like worst
source and actions being in alignment. As much as I
can do that, the more I'm okay being seen, if.

Speaker 2 (47:56):
That makes sense. In whatever way I'm seeing.

Speaker 1 (48:00):
And so I used to find it really difficult because
I'm actually naturally when I meet people for the first
time or if I'm in a well more in a
crowded environment, I'm a social introvert, but one on one,
I'm like extremely extroverted, and so when I would be
surrounded by people, I would find it really difficult to
give the energy that they see mean having that is

(48:21):
my natural way to be.

Speaker 2 (48:23):
And then I realized I had to learn to like recycle.
That was just at the.

Speaker 1 (48:27):
Point think about it all the time because I'm like,
this person has poured into me so much as of
being part of the community. I want them to have
that exact experience, and it's unfair for me to have
my insecurities my walls up when all I've been asking
of them is to have a connection with me.

Speaker 2 (48:47):
And so what I've learned.

Speaker 1 (48:48):
To do is literally, like a battery, absorb their energy
of excitement and pour it back into them in that moment,
even if I struggle with.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
It at the time.

Speaker 1 (48:57):
It's like a habit that I've had to create because
I think they really deserve it, and I think it's
unfair to have the expectation of someone to follow what
you do and be part of your community and maybe
buy the things that you're sharing, and then when you
meet them in person, you're like, sorry, who are you?

Speaker 2 (49:11):
Like? That's so disrespectful and so yeah, yeah, I agree.

Speaker 3 (49:15):
And I think there's there's this idea of I don't
know if you've heard of it, but it's called a panopticon.
No so I spoke about in a previous episode. Right,
but it's like it's way a prison is built and
the guard is in the central tower and he shines
the light around to all the prisoners, but prisoners can't
see when the light is being frying, so it feels
like they're always being watched. Right, do you feel that

(49:37):
way or like when you know? But to be honest,
you just answer that if you're acting in alignment in
private the same way as you in public, then you're
not really scared of the light being on you.

Speaker 2 (49:46):
Yeah, that's such a good point. I definitely feel that
way back.

Speaker 1 (49:49):
I also think that's why I find it so important
to interact with people beyond oh hey you want to
take a picture, Yeah, let's take a picture. And I
really this is for myself, not even for them to
have a point of interaction, not just me voicing myself,
to have moments where I can actually connect with people,

(50:09):
because otherwise you do end up either feeling like the
Queen of the castle or the light guard or like
prisoner guard, or you end up feeling so disconnected that
you've created a personality that isn't even you. And so
actually I prefer those moments where I'm able to meet
people and spend time with them and create communities so

(50:31):
it doesn't feel like I'm so far removed for myself,
for my own ego too. It's so much better that
way because then also breaking that narrative, because some people
have a completely different narrative of who you are. They're
receiving it so differently. And so an example would be
if people are used to seeing me as someone who meditates,
they struggle. If I go to a place like Aura, which.

Speaker 2 (50:52):
Is like.

Speaker 1 (50:55):
They struggle if I go to a place which is
you know, a couple, or if they see me at
like a burna boy concept, they're like, what It's just
it's so different for them to like, I've experienced this
version of this person. But then does that mean this
version was a lie? And they're actually this person. So
what I try to do is I tried to literally
be really open about all the things that I do,

(51:16):
but that also confuses people. So if I got a
you know, I don't know. I keep saying burner Boy
because I really want to go to this concert again.
But if I put up a Burner Boy song behind
me and they're like, I haven't even thought you listened
to that type of music, I'm like, I grew up
listening to that music. But for them it's like, oh,
but I literally just heard your meditation a week ago,
and it just they've created so from one part of

(51:39):
my life that they see, they will create a whole
narrative of who I am, and so that sometimes is
fractured when they experience a different version of me or
another part of it. I won't say different version, another
part of me that was unexpected, and so I think
the best way and that's what I see happen with
a lot of people who obviously have like way more

(52:00):
people that are invested in their life than me, where
they see someone be this and they're like, oh, I
thought that this is this is a narrative I've created
of them, and then they see them do something else
in the public where they're like, oh, that wasn't what
I was expecting of them. Now they're canceled, And so
I think it's sharing. Even if it's creating. I actually

(52:20):
prefer it because then it breaks down any kind of
like oh that's creating you.

Speaker 3 (52:25):
Yeah, I think being trapped in a box or yeah,
trying not to put yourself in a box, like get
you're a spiritual person but not being in the spiritual box,
or you're the business guy not being in the business box.
At the same time, you can be in everything.

Speaker 2 (52:38):
Right, I think for a lot of women.

Speaker 1 (52:39):
Also his physical appearance, Like I remember my friend actually
know her. She literally was like to me, I can't
believe you just like wake up and you go straight
on Insta. I'm like, you literally don't makeup on you
don't do anything like you literally show up sometimes really.

Speaker 2 (52:53):
Rough and I'm like, you know, really rough. Yeah, And
I was, And I was.

Speaker 1 (52:58):
Thinking about that because at the time I was like offended,
But then I realized I actually wasn't offended because I
have consciously had to do that and not put filters
when I've got like a spot on my face and
not do all those things, because I'd rather someone see
me in person and be like, oh my gosh, she's
way putting in person or way nicer in person then
she is online.

Speaker 2 (53:16):
Then have the opposite experience.

Speaker 1 (53:18):
And when you create this image of who you are online,
it becomes so consuming of like, oh my gosh, I
have to look like this, I have to act like this,
I have to be this person, and then you forget
who you actually are or who to be when you
actually meet people, which creates so much social anxiety. So
then you can't even be the person you want to
be because you're thinking about how are they perceiving me?

Speaker 2 (53:39):
And am I that person? Versus just being yes.

Speaker 3 (53:42):
Like your caricature, you creative yourself, and then you have
to yeah, and then.

Speaker 1 (53:45):
You have to think, am I acting in that way
that they're perceiving? Whereas if you're just being online and
you're just being in person, then you don't have to
have that. Then there's less barriers in between you and
that person of like the fake version of you or
the person you think they want to receive.

Speaker 3 (54:01):
Another germ you gave me, I think I don't think
you realized it though when you said it, because you
said it as a part in comment.

Speaker 2 (54:05):
Right.

Speaker 3 (54:06):
It was like when I was first getting started online
and stuff, I think you said, oh, by the way,
now that you're choosing to put yourself out there, you
can't control the perception that you're going to have. Well,
like other people are going to have with you. Yeah,
they've got their own set of filters and you know.
And then we just carried on whatever we were doing,
playing or something, and I thought that was like crazy powerful,
because I'm if you're in business, you try to control everything. Yeah,

(54:28):
and me going from there to that, I'm trying to
control perception. But it only finally hit like a year ago.
I think I let go of the fear of being
seen or whatever and also perception. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (54:39):
Yeah, I used to think it was so unfair. When
i'd read a comment, I'd be like, they.

Speaker 1 (54:43):
Don't understand what I'm saying, or they've misunderstood who I am,
or why do they not think I'm a nice person,
because you always want they want to think you're a
nice person.

Speaker 3 (54:51):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (54:51):
Yeah, And then I remember every.

Speaker 1 (54:53):
Time I was complaining, complaining, complaining, and I was like, oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 (54:56):
If you were I think what I might have said
is if you're choosing to be seen. You can't choose
how people see you.

Speaker 1 (55:01):
That's right, yeah, and it is because if you don't
want to be seen, just don't be seen. But at
the end of the day, if you're choosing to be
in someone's vision and you're choosing to put yourself out
there in that way, there's no way you can control.
You can't control how your own family see you. How
you're going to control how a million, two million, whatever,
how many people see you. It's just impossible because they're received.

(55:23):
You can tell two people the exact same thing. Someone
can tell me and you the exact same thing. I
have received in a completely different way to the way
you have, based on my ind securities, based on what
I've experienced, based on how I'm choosing to see the world.
And there's too many filters to even try and fix
all of them, right, not even fix to try and
help them see how you want them to see you.

Speaker 3 (55:43):
Then do you think there are any objective truths that
you don't beat all filters?

Speaker 2 (55:48):
Authenticity? And by the way, what I mean by that is,
every time I'm.

Speaker 1 (55:52):
Around rather Naswami, he's one of my spiritual teachers, I
notice how and it comes back to this idea of
people receiving based on where they're at in life. Some
people will meet him and he's very present but also
will not waste words, So he will sit there and
he'll just be like, and they'll look at you in

(56:14):
the eye and they'll be like And for a lot of.

Speaker 2 (56:17):
People, they do not want to be seen in that way.

Speaker 1 (56:20):
They are so uncomfortable by his comfort of just being there,
Like he's so present and he's so comfortable in his
own skin and so comfortable in himself and comfortable soul
to soul that he's not even seeing what else is happening.
But for that person, if they're not ready to be
seen like that, they are like, oh, that was so uncomfortable,
so intense. And other people are like, I've never been

(56:41):
seen that way and it was amazing. And so you
can church show up as you and someone will absolutely
hate you based on what they like and dislike, and
someone will absolutely love you. And that's even at a
spiritual teacher level, who is so such a beautiful embodiment
of what a human should be like. And even then
people's poots will be like, oh, I need to keep

(57:02):
that at a distance.

Speaker 2 (57:02):
Because I'm not ready for it.

Speaker 1 (57:03):
Yeah, so if you feel like you're showing up as
the person you want to be, then the way people
receive you. I get most angry at myself when I
don't show up in the way I want to. Right
then I'm actually even sader because I'm like, not only
have I not shown up as myself.

Speaker 2 (57:18):
They also hate me now, so now both of us
are losing.

Speaker 3 (57:22):
Yeah. There really interesting thing I read right from Plato,
who's like one of the old philosophers. He said, two
hundred years before this event actually happened, that if the
perfect man was to come into the world, then he
would be crucified and that was like one seventy eighty
or whatever you want to call it. And yeah, I
think I've learned from that. You can't try and satisfy

(57:44):
people in a world where someone like that would be
fruit crucified.

Speaker 2 (57:48):
No way.

Speaker 3 (57:49):
Yeah, I got over the fear of I guess perception.
And the more I did it as well, I think
the more reps that I did, I think uncovers everything
that you need to know.

Speaker 1 (58:00):
And so many lessons to be learned from great people
like Jesus, where even his friends betrayed it like there's
so many Actually learning from people who have been exemplary
in those situations, I think that can really help. And
obviously none of us are Jesus out here, but learning
from people who you see receiving and carrying the discomfort

(58:23):
of being criticized and judged gracefully is like such a
beautiful way to remind yourself that it can be done.
And so following that rather than the people that you're
seeing actually not handling it that great, which is what
we usually see because it's difficult to receive, but finding
those people where you're like, oh, actually, these people took
it with so much grace, Like they literally have still

(58:45):
continue doing what they're supposed to be doing, still stayed
in their power, still stayed in their truth, still carried
on with their purpose, even when they were going to
be crucified. Like it's just it's insane to think about,
and then it puts everything else into perspective.

Speaker 2 (58:58):
You're like, Okay, they don't like my hair.

Speaker 3 (58:59):
Col yeah literally, yah, yeah. Well on the topic of
obviously I don't know what's the Jesus, but attaining you know,
christ consciousness, Christian consciousness, whatever you want to call it,
the copy of the Githa that you gave me was
by far one of the best I've read. Yeah, what
are some of the lessons that you think have stuck
out for you? I've got so many that just come
to mind, and you know, it is the one of
them books that you open out a random page.

Speaker 2 (59:20):
Every day something different. Yea.

Speaker 1 (59:22):
Honestly, one of the biggest things that was a change
in perspective, maybe not the greatest lesson, but helped me
navigate the world better was thinking about the fact that
my soul has.

Speaker 2 (59:33):
Lived so many lifetimes.

Speaker 1 (59:35):
And the reason is because I think, you know, a
lot of people would say, oh, you know, like Yolo,
you only live once, and it's like, okay, cool, there's
everything you possibly want to do. But actually, what I
really appreciate is the idea that my soul has already
been through so much and actually so many of the
things that I am right now are actually a result
of things that have been that I don't understand. And

(59:55):
so instead of trying to understand every single thing about
why I'm doing what I'm doing, why I get scared
of these things? Why am I You know, you can
really overanalyze so much of your life but this is
just such a snapshot, and so one it can give
perspective on the sense of like, let's not take things
too seriously, but also let's stop trying to overanalyze things
that don't need to be analyzed and that you're not

(01:00:18):
going to figure out. You're not going to be able
to figure out everything, and some of that does come
from past things that you've been through that you just
don't know and you just don't even realize or remember.

Speaker 2 (01:00:26):
And also think.

Speaker 1 (01:00:27):
About the fact that we are like one tiny thing,
tiny being, not even in one universe. There are so
many universes out there and so many things that are
unknown to us. And so another thing that has helped
me think of is why would I not think this
is possible? Because like, there's so many things that we
don't even know in this world that are possible that
we don't see with our eyes. Then I believe everything

(01:00:49):
is like for me, everything is possible, and that I
think when you think it's just you, there's very limited
as possible because all we know is us as our
physical body are the things that we see.

Speaker 2 (01:01:00):
You don't expect anything else to be real except for
the things that you can physically touch.

Speaker 1 (01:01:04):
But as soon as you think it's like you plus God,
you plus the universe, you plus something that is unlimited,
you feel like there's so much more that's possible. So
you feel a lot less limited in your abilities because
you're like, oh, well, with God's grace, I can do
so much more.

Speaker 3 (01:01:19):
Yeah, I like to think of as co creation basically.

Speaker 2 (01:01:21):
Co creation, Yeah, exactly, But it's.

Speaker 3 (01:01:23):
Just you don't most people group project Yeah, pretty much
person credit. Yeah, Yeah, it's true. I think like when
I made that switch as well that it's all co creation.
I think it gave me a lot more I guess,
power to draw on.

Speaker 1 (01:01:37):
Yeah, and knowing what you have to do to be
worthy of that power and what does that mean.

Speaker 2 (01:01:44):
It's like it's like if someone's giving you a baby,
you need.

Speaker 1 (01:01:47):
To have the prep done. You need to know how
you're going to look after that baby. You need to
be willing to put in the time, the energy, and
the effort to look after that child. So the same way,
it's like, if I'm going to be giving you power,
I want to see you've.

Speaker 2 (01:02:00):
Done the work before I even give it to you.

Speaker 1 (01:02:02):
Right, And so many people think sit there waiting for
the power to be given to them, or like waiting
for that thing to happen, but actually doing the pep
work beforehand to show, actually, I'm consistently showing you I
can receive and I am worthy of this. It's like
when you want a promotion at work, then just give
it to you before you've shown you can do it.
And so I think it's consistency in integrity and in

(01:02:23):
your actions and in your words to show oh, actually,
now I'm worthy of this power and then it's given
to you.

Speaker 3 (01:02:28):
Yeah, yeah, so true. It's like when people talk about opportunity,
opportunity waiting to arrive for them, Yeah, it never actually
misses you. You just choose when that opportunity arrives according
to the prep that you've done or the frequency that
you're at, whatever you want to call it.

Speaker 2 (01:02:41):
Right.

Speaker 3 (01:02:42):
One of the ones that stuck out for me was
when Christiana said that you're only entitled to the labor
and never to the fruits, right, And that made me
think about, Okay, if I'm only entitled to the labor,
then what am I doing it for? Like obviously mastery
the mastery of self, spiritual progression, physical progression, but then
also doing it in service is something higher than you.

(01:03:03):
And then I remember you made a post recently or
a while ago, like when you were in service of
I think rather not Swami. You made you realize sometimes
how many kind of selfish thoughts that you have? Yeah,
so how often do you are you trying to bring
that back to the forefront of your mind because obviously
it's hard, like you think about yourself all the time.

Speaker 1 (01:03:21):
Yeah, I don't think you ever get rid of those
thoughts because we're still the physical body.

Speaker 2 (01:03:27):
You can't pretend like we're not. But I do think
maybe not get.

Speaker 3 (01:03:30):
Rid of, but like become aware of or become aware of.

Speaker 1 (01:03:32):
It by being present. I guess such a simplified answer,
but I realized, I'm the only way you can actually
become aware of anything is by being with it, and
so presence. A lot of people don't realize that presence
is the answer to so much. And the ability to
keep coming back to this moment and making sure that
you are tuned and locked in is how you have

(01:03:55):
deeper connections, is how you realize what's happening not just
in your mental state but your physical body. The amount
of people I meet where when I take them through
like a process of connecting with their body where I
do this like breastwork thing and I'm like, okay, so
breathing into your shoulder and they're like, oh my.

Speaker 2 (01:04:11):
God, I didn't know I had this pain.

Speaker 1 (01:04:12):
Like that single moment of breath and presence helps them
to even realize whether they've had pain in their body
for years or months or days where they haven't even
noticed because of such lack of presence. And so I
actually think loneliness comes from lack of presence. The ability
to not concentrate or feel like they've got connection to
someone comes from lack of presence. Selfish thoughts come from

(01:04:35):
lack of presence because actually, if you're present in the world,
there are so many people to care about.

Speaker 2 (01:04:40):
It's unreal.

Speaker 1 (01:04:40):
There are so many things to be doing beyond repeated
thoughts of what I should have and what I should
be doing and what's been done that's wrong to me.
So if you're actually present in this world, then you're
observing there's so much more that there's so much more
interesting than what's going on in your head.

Speaker 2 (01:04:56):
If you allow there to be.

Speaker 3 (01:04:58):
That's the thing, if you allow it and again comes
back so that it's a choice, right, like every synchronicity
that I experience, whether it's the flamingos or like the
numbers that she or whatever you want to call it,
it's always because I've been training like hyper awareness. Yeah,
and then it's not that I'm seeing things that other
people aren't, as in that aren't there. No, it's just
that you know, I'm trying to tune myself to see them. Yeah,

(01:05:18):
in a way when.

Speaker 1 (01:05:19):
You who told me about when you first told me
about this flamingo thing, I'm not joking. Now every time
I see flamingo, I send it to you. But what
that shows is when you become attuned to something or
you have a connection of something to someone, even that
in itself makes you more present. And so imagine you
were able to teach yourself.

Speaker 2 (01:05:38):
To do that with different things.

Speaker 1 (01:05:39):
So like for flowers, for example, every time I see
a flower and I go closer, I'm like, this is
one of the most magical things that have ever existed
on the world, in the world because the intricacies of
a flower is insane.

Speaker 3 (01:05:50):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:05:50):
Yeah, but or I could look at it and be like, ah,
that's a cute flower.

Speaker 1 (01:05:53):
But like for me, it's like, Wow, the world is
phenomenal every time I look at a flower. But that's
because I've trained my mind to think that. Every time
I see the sun, I'm like, oh my gosh, you
literally give me energy, give life to every single thing
on this earth. Thank you so much. I am just
constantly ingratitude to the sun. So all that to say,

(01:06:13):
I've through different prayers I've read as well. It's helped
me to feel so much gratitude for everyday ordinary things.

Speaker 2 (01:06:20):
So actually, life can never be boring if you choose
to live that way.

Speaker 1 (01:06:24):
As soon as I change that mindset, whenever people say
they're bored, I'm like, what do you mean?

Speaker 3 (01:06:27):
You're bored?

Speaker 1 (01:06:29):
And that to me ten years ago, I would have
been like, of course, like I'm bored all the time,
what do you mean, I want.

Speaker 2 (01:06:34):
To have stimulation all the time.

Speaker 1 (01:06:35):
Of course, boredom exists, But actually boredom exists when you
choose not to turn ordinary into something extraordinary, which you
have the ability to do every day. And it's simply
by thinking, oh, wow, this is actually incredible. That fireplace,
Oh my gosh, I wonder how old it is, and
the artwork on there, I wonder.

Speaker 2 (01:06:52):
Who drew it.

Speaker 1 (01:06:53):
So curiosity is actually something that kills boredom, Wow, and
kills judgment and kills everything.

Speaker 3 (01:06:59):
And so interesting paradigm because the way I think of
it is the opposite of stimulation is boredom. But maybe
it's not boredom.

Speaker 2 (01:07:06):
I don't think it is boredom, Yeah, because I always
it's not the same. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:07:09):
Yeah, like, and I would say boredom birth curiosity, but
I guess maybe not in the way that you explained it.
I think I haven't actually heard it that way. Yeah,
in those moments I find them, Like when people ask
me for advice on how to figure out their next steps,
I never can. You can never tell them obviously, but
you can tell them to carve out time for solitude
or silence. What role is that, which again is presence?

(01:07:32):
Yeah exactly, yeah, direct, if you're on direct transmission from
the universe or from God, then it's just like be
alone in nature.

Speaker 2 (01:07:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (01:07:40):
And if you look at every great yogi or stage
or profit, they all had this period of isolation.

Speaker 1 (01:07:45):
But that's also because like, okay, let's say we're having
we have times we've had an hour and a half
to have this conversation. Had we not had this, I
wouldn't have learned this about you, would have learned this
about me. And so in the same way, we see
solitude as oh, I'm being with myself, but no, you're not.
You're tuning in to all the thing thing is that
are unheard through the noise that's being created. And so
this is like thank you, But yeah, I just think

(01:08:11):
that that connection is with the universe, with nature, with
God or whoever you want to connect to that's beyond
what you see is required in solitude because the noise
is always present. So the only time you can really
connect to that is when you're in a moment of peace,
and then that can filter into everything. Then as soon
as you start seeing all the little things, every moment
can feel like little moments of magic or little moments

(01:08:32):
of connection.

Speaker 3 (01:08:33):
Then how do you focus when you're in that kind
of state.

Speaker 2 (01:08:36):
It depends what focus means because.

Speaker 3 (01:08:38):
Centralized energy into one thing, but that.

Speaker 1 (01:08:40):
All feeds that in my opinion, like me being in
awe of a flower helps you feel my creativity because
how like where would I get creativity comes from everything
that you receive. I actually noticed lack of presence for
me is when I'm least creative in the kitchen, least
creative in my content because I'm not receiving anything. I'm

(01:09:02):
not allowing anything to actually impacts me. And so in
that case, then I am bored because I'm like, oh
my god, I'm so bored. I'm playing the same thing
over and over again. Got no new ideas, got nothing
new to give out to people. Why because I'm not
observing or receiving anything exactly.

Speaker 3 (01:09:18):
Yeah, yeah, that's so true. And there's ways to create
like pockets of time to hear those things.

Speaker 2 (01:09:23):
Right.

Speaker 3 (01:09:23):
So one of the things I've been trying, I think
I think it was actually you that said it, well
maybe you've mentioned it, is like conscious eating or conscious
I think you said it at dinner once, like just
if you're there then like no screens, no phone, just
if you're there with people, then speak to the people,
or if it's alone then just you know, kind of
just eat. And it feels really strange at first, obviously,
because it's like there's this meme online. It's like you've

(01:09:45):
been sentenced to a meal without YouTube. Yeah, like yeah,
the more you do it.

Speaker 1 (01:09:51):
The more you notice and we will be like, oh
my gosh, what's this flavor? Oh my gosh, this is amazing.
Oh my body doesn't feel good when I'm eating that.
Oh my gosh, I feel so energized after eating that.
I think you become a lot more.

Speaker 2 (01:10:00):
Efficient when you do moments like that, and.

Speaker 1 (01:10:03):
You become a lot more able because you start to
notice things that you wouldn't have normally noticed that could
actually be affecting you in negative way.

Speaker 3 (01:10:11):
And as a paradox, because you think you're being efficient
by watching the YouTube VI because it's not like any
YouTube video, it's like you're learning something right, but then
you're not fully in either thing exactly. Yeah, when it
comes to obviously your training ivada and yoga and all
of these different areas, when it comes to like developing
a routine or creating a routine, like I've done one

(01:10:32):
thousand and one routines. Yeah, but then I've obviously, through
experimenting filtered the best thing for me. How would you
suggest to do it? But obviously using your knowledge of
ivada or yoga or the things that you're an.

Speaker 2 (01:10:46):
Expert in of creating a routine.

Speaker 3 (01:10:48):
Routine or like daily habits for like the most efficiency
and presence throughout the day.

Speaker 1 (01:10:52):
As well, I think you have to simplify and think, Okay,
in the morning, I'm going to do something for my mind,
something for my body, something for my heart.

Speaker 2 (01:11:00):
It can start as simple as that. In the morning,
I'm gonna do a fifteen minute workout because that's all
the time I've got. That's for my physical body.

Speaker 1 (01:11:06):
For my mind, I'm gonna journal, go outside, take some
deep breaths. And then for my heart, I'm gonna or
spirit I'm gonna meditate, or I'm going to listen to
something that feels meaningful that's going to carry me throughout
the day. Or I'm going to read a chapter of
something or a few pages that stimulate a quality or

(01:11:26):
an emotion that I want to feel and pass out
to somebody else. Right, And so I feel like if
you simplify in those three ways and then you can
mimic that even at night. Then and then I say, okay,
what can I do now to bring myself back to
my physical body? And that might be one of my
favorite things is up Younger. It's like a self body
massage with all and you can do it just on
your feet, you can do it on your hands, but
one the feeling of touch ends up being so grounding

(01:11:50):
for your body and two and it can be any
kind of self care routine that you want to do,
like it could be a skincare routine. It can be
anything that brings you back to your body and helps
you to reconnect your mind to your body.

Speaker 2 (01:12:02):
Breath is usually that. It's like in when I do.

Speaker 1 (01:12:04):
My yoga teacher training, they said, breath is the anchor
between your mind and your body.

Speaker 2 (01:12:08):
And it helps you to link both.

Speaker 1 (01:12:09):
So if you're in a moment of anxiety lack of presence,
use your breath to bring you back.

Speaker 2 (01:12:14):
So I use breath a lot throughout.

Speaker 1 (01:12:15):
The day, but it can be anything physical and then
mental at night, could be there's a really beautiful sleep
meditation if someone finds it really difficult to sleep, but
also is a great.

Speaker 2 (01:12:26):
Way to connect back to your body.

Speaker 1 (01:12:27):
And it's a yoga nidra, and essentially it is a
practice of most of the time, what they do is
they go through from head to toe. You take a
breath into each part of your body and it really
helps you to see where you're holding tension, where you're
stressed out, where you're holding a lot of emotion in
your body.

Speaker 2 (01:12:43):
It really helps you to figure that out. But also
brings presence back into your body. And then a little
prayer at night.

Speaker 1 (01:12:48):
It doesn't have to be like an hour of meditation,
like literally a prayer of wellbeing for other people, a
prayer of gratitude for anything that's happened, a prayer.

Speaker 2 (01:12:57):
Of this is what I want to be tomorrow.

Speaker 1 (01:12:59):
My grandma every single night before she goes to bed,
she's like, please let in halloway, so please let me
wake up at this time so I can do my prayers.

Speaker 2 (01:13:08):
That's her prayer that works though yourself, it really does.

Speaker 3 (01:13:12):
I don't need an long.

Speaker 1 (01:13:13):
But she was like, God, please let me wake up
because I want to pray at this time in the morning.
Please make sure I wake up at this time, And like,
what beautiful thing to be thinking about the way that
you want to connect and start your day the next
day but in the evening. So yeah, just simplify it,
find one thing for each and stick with it for
a little bit and if it doesn't work, try something.

Speaker 3 (01:13:31):
Else that's amazing. And then just before you close off,
just as a bit of a selfish ask, obviously, just
for advice. I've just turned twenty six, right, Yeah, So
as a woman who's in her late forties fifty.

Speaker 2 (01:13:46):
I mean if it was, that would be amazing.

Speaker 3 (01:13:49):
Just if you were my age again, what would you
have wanted to know? Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:13:52):
My things, by the way, guys, but what would I
have wanted to know? You know, when people ask this question, sorry,
I forget this answer. I always think like everything's reveal
to you at the right time. So I really struggled
with that question some time.

Speaker 3 (01:14:07):
But effect like not included basically, so if what.

Speaker 2 (01:14:11):
Do I wish I had known at twenty six?

Speaker 1 (01:14:13):
Oh, I know something similar to what we spoke about earlier,
That is, don't worry about not being an expert, something
like do something anyway, even if you look dumb, even
if you look silly, even if you're not good at it,
because the experience is going to give you so much
more than the regret of like not doing things in
your life because you think you're going to look a
certain way, Like if you can't dance, but it makes

(01:14:34):
you happy, dance if you can't sing, but it makes
you happy. Saying like, there's so many things that we
don't do based on external validation, and I wish I
had done a lot more then that I'm now doing.
In my thirties that I was like, oh, why would
I not? Why do I not do that? Because it
would have made me so happy doing it at the time.

Speaker 3 (01:14:51):
No, that's very powerful. Well I think that's great to
close on. Thank you so much for your time and
for the conversation. For the feud.

Speaker 2 (01:14:58):
Yes, fantasy did your meal you know, probably not?

Speaker 3 (01:15:01):
But yeah, you can past the cookbook just so people
can go and buy it.

Speaker 2 (01:15:06):
This is My.

Speaker 3 (01:15:09):
Joy is out everywhere. It's still one of the best
salads on Amazon, in cookbooks everywhere, which is crazy. So
going by it, and I don't think people I need
to tell people to pology. They already know where you are,
so you can.

Speaker 2 (01:15:23):
You don't have to bet.

Speaker 3 (01:15:26):
Yeah, so it's a pleasure. I'm glad our conversations off
camera on camera pretty much the same, the same. Yeah,
it's so true. Thank you again, Thank you.

Speaker 2 (01:15:33):
This is wonderful. Appreciate it all right,

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Host

Radhi Devlukia

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