Don't Do It Babes...

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey, everyone, So we wanted to mention that before we
get into this week's episode, we wanted to say that
this in particular episode is dedicated to the lives of
Sam Norquist, who was targeted, abused, and murdered within the
last few weeks, along with Tahari Broome, who too was
a victim of senseless harm. May both of their memories
be a blessing for loved ones, and may it move

(00:23):
us into righteous action for their justice and the justice
of trans people everywhere. We also want to take a
moment to say that we love and appreciate all of
those of you who continue to show us and show
up in their authentic bodies, and to remember that we
will always love and celebrate you for being who you are.
We love you for real. Thanks for listening. The Black

(00:46):
Fat Felm Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio and Doctor
John Paul LLC. Hey everyone, Welcome to another episode of
the Blackfat Fin Podcast where all the intersections of dignity
are celebrated. My name is John So known as doctor
John Paul. And in the world where gas is too
high and eggs or eleven door heads, I am so

(01:07):
grateful and thankful to have you joho by my side
them they do it, Yes, they do it. Whoever is
up there? How are you my queen?

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Oh my god?

Speaker 3 (01:21):
Well fam, it is your favorite delectable and delicious oreo Joe.
And at first, let me say, you know, because the
other ones that I'm like the outside but use no
people be out here confusing me with perpetrating and I'm
not do not confusing. I'm not rich doors all book, don't.

(01:43):
I am blacky and black. Okay, check the car down,
yeah to girl, Okay.

Speaker 2 (01:49):
Let me tell you right now. Today today, today I was.

Speaker 3 (01:53):
I was taken by surprise by my white neighbor whom
I love so much, but they have to hello. I
was like, who the fuck? And I was like, oh girls,
a girl, I am black? Cause that really was like
who is this talking to me? Yes?

Speaker 2 (02:06):
Fuck?

Speaker 3 (02:06):
I was like, let me let me calm down because
you don't catch me out gar girl, it will not
be c correct who.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
So I have to say, first of all the eggs
while in these streets.

Speaker 3 (02:15):
Now for all you who was fire influence administration, I
thought you all promised the eggs will be cheaper, and
here we are. I was out here at trade Joe's
I found eggs for five bucks and I was gagged.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
First of all, I was like, pie bucks, but what
a steal.

Speaker 3 (02:27):
But then also I was like, wait, they're available, and
people the cashier legit was like girl, you like you
found these egg because let me tell you right now,
we've been sold out every every.

Speaker 2 (02:36):
Day by like two pm.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
And I was like, wow, it was a wild eggs
Like for some eggs.

Speaker 2 (02:41):
Y'all wild as hell? Who and not to be honest,
y'all the urge to associate these days, yeah, real, it's real, real,
deep deep.

Speaker 3 (02:49):
There are days where I'm like, this may be my thirteenth, fourteenth, fifteenth,
and twenty twenty six reason.

Speaker 2 (02:54):
Like, yeah, today might be the day.

Speaker 3 (02:57):
Yeah, But you know, experience in the world, through our
last has never felt more important than now right now.
I am grateful that we get to do this because
even amidst the pain of this year, and it's only
two months into the year, yea, doing this with you
is simultaneous and I'm very thankful for it.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
Yeah, I'm I I too, And so you know, I
think it's I mean, we've almost been doing this for
almost at this point three years, and I think it's
really cool. To be able to know that, Like I
set this in our pre you know, our pre meeting.
I said, I think it is so cool that I
have this to look forward to, like, yeah, my week,
maybe you know, my week may be up and down,

(03:37):
and there might be a lot of really terrible things
that are happening, but it's really cool that I get
to like come and laugh and be in community with you,
you know, both in person and not right Like, I know,
we record virtually a lot, but there are times like
next week we'll be together, you know, next in the week,
and a few weeks after that will be together again.
And so it's really nice to know that, you know,

(03:59):
I have you. You know, I always tell people there's
no there is no black Fat Fim show without Joho,
like there is no there is no you know, there
is no black fat fem for me without you. And
I mean, I if you you know, I'm sure you've
already read your book, but in the acknowledgments, I acknowledge
you probably third or fourth because you have been like

(04:19):
a sister to me these last three years. And so
it's just I mean, we've known each other for almost
ten years. But I say that to say you know,
doing this on the air with you every every week
has been literally the highlight.

Speaker 2 (04:30):
Of my week.

Speaker 1 (04:30):
So I'm really really grateful that I get to do
this with you and experience this life with you. So
with that being said, y'all already know what it is
this week and are still here category we are going
to give the one and only Miss Tisha Campbell. And
yes we are still we are still on the mission
to get t Sha.

Speaker 2 (04:49):
On this show.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
She we're gonna give her this, Yes, we're gonna get
her on this show. But this week we're gonna give
her flowers. And I wanted to ask you the question
since we are getting ready, I mean, this is the
last week of Black History Month. Well, when this episode
comes out of to be the last week of history
Black History Month, I wanted to end you know, and
and and you know, really talk about it from the

(05:12):
rights and the whites, considering they continue to try to
take them away from us our rights, the whites are
continuing to try to do this, I wanted to really
ask a question that is really gonna posit us in
terms of celebration of what it means to be us.
And so this week I wanted to ask since We
didn't have a chance to explore this a couple of
weeks ago because we ran out of time. Who or

(05:35):
what moments from this month or even this year so
far have made you so damn proud to be black?
I will say for me, I know many of you
are probably gonna expect that I'm gonna say Beyonce's winning,
you know, Artists of the Year, which is just a given. Obviously,
I'm gonna always anytime Beyonce wins anything, I'm gonna I'm

(05:55):
literally going to be up in arms, you know, in
terms of joy and celebrating her, cause that's just who
I am and I'm always be that girl. But what
I'm actually gonna talk about, it's probably something y'all may
not know has happened, or I may not even know
that it's going to be the thing that tickled me
to death this month. So I wanted to talk about

(06:15):
what made me so damn proud to be black? Was
the moment when Janelle Monnet was performing before the Grammys
and she screamed out, fuck you Nelly because he performed
at the inauguration. So there was an iteration of hotten
here that was actually being played with one of their songs,
and when they got to like the Bridge of Hotten

(06:36):
here they basically was just calling out Nelly. I forget
all of the terms and things that they were saying,
but they basically was calling them out for basically performing
and taking the money from you know, the right. And
so it just tickled me because I definitely think like
it makes me happy that people don't get lost in

(06:56):
what I call lost in the sauce in this industry, right,
it's so easy for you to like bite your tongue
or for you to not take a side, or for
you not to use your platform to say something about
the injustice that's happening. And for Genell Moene to be
in a room full of all of these executives and
to basically give Nellie the middle finger for what he

(07:16):
did and hold him accountable for that, it just it
makes me so happy. And that is exactly why I
love Janell Moe. So what what what was yours?

Speaker 2 (07:24):
I live? And I love and and and I laugh,
I live, laugh and love now live laugh, love my god.

Speaker 3 (07:34):
The whites did. The whites did the big one on
that one. Live left love so for me, and.

Speaker 2 (07:39):
I'm gonna be sappy, form of y'all but.

Speaker 3 (07:41):
Seeing the press for uh, there's this book coming out called.

Speaker 2 (07:44):
Black Fat Fat.

Speaker 3 (07:47):
Visibly Queer Voices in Media and how to Love Yourself
Love Listen both that comes out marsh fifth, you can
buy a Mary where you make it a book? And
the tour event the plus Person Los Angeles.

Speaker 2 (08:01):
It's really what's the name? The incomparable think John? Yeah?

Speaker 3 (08:07):
So it just you know, in this moment makes me
proud to be black because I'm literally witnessing black history
be made in real time.

Speaker 2 (08:14):
What's the front row to? You can't buy this girl, okay,
because I'm gonna tell you I did not. I did
not buy my.

Speaker 3 (08:20):
Sweet my sweetey bugget tickets for Jasel and I love her, Okay,
So I get to live I get to live my
uh my hot down holdown with John right. John's legend
and icon and they are the moment. Now now come on, now, now.

Speaker 2 (08:35):
Come on now.

Speaker 3 (08:36):
This makes me proud to be black every day, but
truly seeing people give you the love that you that
I've known that you deserve, it's really just so special.

Speaker 2 (08:47):
I see people have got the book, the book.

Speaker 3 (08:49):
In their hands already, but like seeing but like seeing
it like when I saw a picture of it in
that person's hand.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
I was like this, like this is history.

Speaker 3 (09:00):
I saw someone today with a shirt that I and
now I actually I thought I thought of you about it,
went fellow shirt. Their their shirt says for as long
as I am black, I am historical and I am history.
And like John, you are living, breathing history in real time.

Speaker 2 (09:17):
Is okay? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (09:19):
Yeah, I said the same thing to Travail this week too,
So yeah, it's.

Speaker 2 (09:23):
I mean, listen, who are friends?

Speaker 3 (09:25):
But if not mears of each other, right, not two
mears of his history making of her historam making.

Speaker 1 (09:29):
People in the same room. Like yeah, that's that feels
really good. I appreciate you saying that. And I you know,
I don't do well with you know, compliments is something
I struggle with. So I'm always like feeling a little shy.
But I have my friend Kyle. Kyle is a listener
of the show. Shout out to you, Kyle. They text
me the other week and was like, girl, you better
continue to get you know, if people are tired of you,

(09:51):
he tired of hearing you know you talk about this book.
Oh the fuck well pushing it And so.

Speaker 2 (09:56):
Because they are not on the check, so no, go
time somewhere else.

Speaker 1 (10:02):
Okay, ye, take a nap, wake up and buy the
book bitch.

Speaker 2 (10:07):
Okay that part. Yeah, but no.

Speaker 1 (10:09):
And so I'm trying to you know, I'm trying to
balance you know, the the what's the word I'm looking for,
like the humble the humility around you think. But yeah,
but also I appreciate when, you know, again, I appreciate
being seen. And like I said last night, you know,
in a post on on social media, I said the

(10:29):
same thing I said. In this time where the world
is working actively to erase us, not just meet us
as a people, it's just nice to be in spaces
and places where people who are like, no, I got you,
We're gonna we're gonna do what we need to do
to make sure that you're good and that you get
to where you want to go. And so I say
all that to just to say this week, I'm really

(10:50):
coming to the episode, and you'll probably hear it show
up in another way, but this week I'm really coming
to the episode very just appreciative and really just trying
to take the time to just take in and kind
of you know, my husband says this all the time,
like you need to be more grateful. Not grateful, but
you know you're doing a lot of good work and
you need to give yourself more credit. And so I
think for me this week, you know, between the book,

(11:11):
between the podcasts, between you know, the fact that we
won an award last year, like all of those things,
I'm really taking in this weekend. I'm just kind of going, Okay,
you know, we're doing what we're doing, and it's it's
it's it's gonna make a difference, whether it makes a
difference now or whether it makes a difference later. Like
you said, it is still black history. And I'm really
fucking with that. So with that being said, we now

(11:31):
that we have made our ancestors smile once again, we're
gonna take a break and when we get back, we're
gonna jump into the category we're in.

Speaker 3 (11:37):
A second, all right, fam we are black to be black,
black and back. And considering the message you share at
the top of the show, John, I want to do
more than just top of the issues that Treon's folks face, right,
and I have deeper into a conversation, I mean, bother

(11:58):
me hearing sense the man who should not be named
has taken office. We know that there are many folks
who are terrified to be in the US, and there
are folks who also don't have the ability or privilege
to leave. And there's been a conversation around black, trans
by binary folks fleeing to quote unquote blue states. Whoever,

(12:21):
no one talks about what it's actually like to live
in said state. Now, to be clear, before we shot
the conversation, we don't want to overgeneralize at all, Right, Like,
we know we are two Californians who don't speak them
to the entire state. But there's a consensus we do
see in our circles among other marginalized folks that California
isn't as blue as it purports it to be. And

(12:42):
let's let's be honest of the state was not blue
at all in this past election.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
Now, let's talk about it. Now, let's talk about it,
and we even experience it ourselves. So I want to
begin by asking, what was.

Speaker 3 (12:55):
The first time that you realize that California, California ain't
always sunny in calubn.

Speaker 1 (13:00):
You then, I ain't know it's sunny, you know? So
I wrote down on our show flow the first time
I was called a nigger, you know, and seriously, I I,
you know, you would think, growing up right and so
cow that I might have been called a nigger a
lot of times, but I had never up until the
time that I did get called the inn word, I
had never really like people had said it as like

(13:21):
a general thing, and people had made like, you know,
monkey sounds and had done all of like the racist
shit that you know, every black person kind of deals
with whenever, because I went, you know, I was, I
lived in an area that was predominantly white, right, and
so you know, and they were poor white, but they
were still white. And so all of that to say,
I had never had anyone directly to my face call
me the in word, and so I I wanted to

(13:44):
talk about it in my book, but I didn't because
it would have taken my book total, it would have
taken the chapter a totally different way.

Speaker 2 (13:50):
But I did note that, you know.

Speaker 1 (13:53):
The first time I got called a nigger, I guess
I'm noted here was when I was at San Diego Pride.
And so I want you to kind of unpack though
those layers. Right, So I'm in a city that is
I mean a city that is basically queer friendly per se.
I'm putting quotations around that for folks who are listening
to the episode not watching, they're queer friendly. Right, We're

(14:16):
in Hillcrest, everyone's having a good time and the parade
is happening, and it's me and it's another friend of
mine at the time who was black. Well, we're not
friends now, but I say say at the time, we
were friends and we were standing in a certain spot
on the sidewalk and there were a there was a
group of white queers coming near us, coming towards us,
and you know, they wanted us to move, and me

(14:38):
and my friend at the time were like, no, go
around or figure out a different way to get through here,
but we're not moving because we want to keep our
spot for the parade. And that's when we got caught
the inn word, you know, because we wouldn't move. And
so it's, like I said, the layers of it, right
of being in a city, being in a state where
it's supposed to be safe, but also like ever really

(15:00):
feeling safe. And I think that that's also something too,
Like I like, we talked about this in past episodes.
You know, I'm the generation like I saw the Rodney
King stuff happen in real time because at the time,
my family lived in Compton, right, I was actually there
when the riots broke out, And so even that and
then having friends like Patrice whose brother was murdered by lapd, like,

(15:22):
they're all of these very coded things that tell you
that even though you're from SoCal, you're still not as
safe as you think, right and so like, and again,
I know I'm talking a lot about color, but I'm
also talking about like there are moments too where like
you know, so we can't not not talk about the
sundown town So I mentioned Highland a lot, I talk

(15:44):
a lot about Redlands, I talk a lot about ya Kaipa.
I know you've even mentioned that even in San Diego
County that there are sundown towns, right, and so when
you even talk about being black and queer in Hollywood,
or black and queer and Beverly Hills, or even going
to the Abbey, like all of the stories that I
could share with you about my experience at the abbey.
And that's West Hollywood again, another city that purports itself

(16:06):
to be inclusive because of the number of queer people
who live there. But yet I have had run ins
with people there that have challenged me, both as a
black person and as a queer person and as a
fat person. Right, so like it's just it's just that.
So like I mean, I kind of to start the
conversation off, I think, like, yes, this conversation is nuanced,
and I appreciate you uplifting that we're not making a

(16:29):
general sweep, but I definitely want people to listen to
this and hear it and go, you know, when we
make that general statement that California is just this blue
and happy place. Yeah, I'm happy to live here, but
it but it ain't always roses, you know what about you.

Speaker 2 (16:43):
Love live ain't never been no Crystal Stair chapter one,
but go on.

Speaker 3 (16:51):
And so in my experience, I feel like I think
I've known since I was younger. Give like in some
ways times like people thought my dad wasn't my dad,
or people would ask me if I was okay, if
I was safe when I was with him, right, Like
you know, people had like racially biased and charge questions
they thought were for my safety, but like we actually

(17:11):
created was like more confusion of like should I.

Speaker 2 (17:13):
Not feel safe with my dad?

Speaker 3 (17:14):
And and and I mean I may not have felt
safe for other reasons, but not because he's black, right,
I mean, okay, because the streets like okay, like yeah, you.

Speaker 2 (17:29):
Know, and so you know, and I think.

Speaker 3 (17:31):
All at the time, it was the time when I
was when my brothers was was attacked and they're attached
and arrested for being attacked by a racist shopbolder, and
this was a difference. Let's go like, this was this
was a place where like he was like that he
grew up in that he would have never never thought
that doesn't happen, you know.

Speaker 2 (17:47):
So I always knew.

Speaker 3 (17:47):
It was possible, but always I always know that it
was possible that people like that existed in these places.
But I also I also thought it was like an
isolated incident as well too, you know what I'm saying.
Like I was like, oh, like, you know, this happens
once once in a while, but it's not like it's
not like a systemic issue that I see often. But
when when moved to San Diego, I realized, oh no.

Speaker 2 (18:10):
It's everywhere much more. The state is rare than that thought.

Speaker 3 (18:14):
It is giving, it's giving purple, you know, a bruise,
a bruise if you will bruise of the country. So
moving here is when I realized actually at large, that
people are in fact racist, homophobic, transphobic, fat phobic. In
the bubble of my life that my childhood was popped
when I moved here, because you know, I think so
much of so Cal is rooted in conservatism as well,

(18:35):
But I think that also contributes us to why versus
I think, like, you know, I I think parts of
nor Cal is you know, is is rooted in the
idea of I think there's more value, like, there's more
values of freedom there. I think, right when we think
of like the creation of the Bay of the Bay Area, yeah,
he has like an immigrant for a place, like I

(18:56):
think it was it was creating that way versus so
I think people who were conservative moved there quickly and
began just just doing that nasty things. But yeah, so
so honestly, I think I think the first I really
realized the California was, you know, not always sunny, was
when I had.

Speaker 2 (19:13):
My first I had my first group group of white friends.
I'm here here here in the in the region.

Speaker 3 (19:18):
When I realized that people do not in fact look
like me around and realizing that people thought they were
more privy to asking really personal questions about your upbringing. Yeah,
like no one asked me where I was from up
in the Bay Like no, no, no, no one asked
me where.

Speaker 2 (19:37):
I was from.

Speaker 3 (19:37):
Like we all knew we were all from someplace else
in the world or you know here, like we all
knew that.

Speaker 2 (19:41):
Yeah. Yeah, I was asked so many times here You're like,
where are you from? And even like other Bay Area no,
but like where are you really from? Where are you
really from?

Speaker 3 (19:51):
And I'm like and I'm like, uh, sudden, northern California
And they're like, where's your family from? And then if
you tell them and they're like I knew it, I'm like, oh,
so now you know.

Speaker 2 (20:01):
That who I am because of that, Like it's just
yeah anyway.

Speaker 1 (20:04):
So no, you It's funny because a long, long, long
time ago, it was there was a moment where me
and a friend it was me, a friend and my
partner where he were shopping and the store owner did
exactly that to me. It was very much where are
you from? You know what? What like and again and
this isn't like we were into like the Studio City area.
We were in LA when that happened, And so having

(20:27):
that moment where it's like, girl, I know what you're
trying to ask, Like you really want to know if
I'm truly truly black, so you know how to treat me,
you know how to up these prices, because that's literally
what also happens too that people don't want to talk
about when when you're when you're a marginalized person. I think,
so I'll say this before I ask the next question.
I think the real moment for me when I realized that.

(20:47):
And I've set this in different iterations throughout the show.
I've said, you know, I think there is this belief,
especially here in Socow, but I think in general for
black people. Maybe you can say, maybe you agree to this,
maybe you don't, But I think that there's this idea
that if you work hard and you get money and
you get you get quote unquote nice things, that your

(21:07):
life will somehow become easier. And I think living here
in so cal I think the real first time that
it really hit me that no matter how much money
I had, no matter how many degrees I had, no
matter what I did, you know the fact that people
know who I am, even sometimes when I'm just walking
around people. Oh, that's doctor John Paul. That was never
going to quote unquote change. I was still going to

(21:30):
be a black person first and then queer and all
the other things. Was when me and Jonathan started going
through the process to buy a home, like that was
the first time that it really hit me that I
was like, oh shit, these people they're making all of
these assumptions about where my money's coming from. They want
to know where my money's coming from. Yeah, because and
then also too, like they're giving me a hard time

(21:51):
about wanting to live here because I'm now a black
person living in this area that is predominantly white, you know,
in so cals So. And it's the same thing we
see it in Orange County. We see it in La redlining.
I mean, we can talk for hours about though how
much LA is redlined. And again, if you go and
listen to our to Our Old to Alta Dina episode,

(22:12):
I think that's like episode one thirty three or episode
one thirty four, we talk about why Alta Dina became
the Alta Dina that it is. And so anyway, all
that to say, before I get in too much of
a tangent, I love hearing you talk about your experience
because as much as me and you, you know, we
have moments, you know, when we're putting our shows together
and when we're on the mic, we go, oh, we

(22:33):
have the same experience. I never really realized that you
get the same questions that I get about the you know,
where you from and who you are, and so that
just it grounds me more and loving and being like, yeah,
I love talking to my sisters. But I did want
to ask you, and I want to ask from your
vantage point. You know, why do you think people paint
California to be such a liberal place? And what do

(22:56):
you think causes people not to speak out about the
violent and stay experienced here in socow Because I find
that too. I find a lot of people have a
lot of injustice and they, for whatever reason, don't talk
about it.

Speaker 2 (23:07):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (23:07):
So it's interesting and I that question when I saw
the Shoffe, Oh, this is a really fascinating question, because
I really had like a media thought the first part
but the same part was like, oh, the violence part
was interesting. But I think I think, I think partially
to the white seam situal the liberal places because like
the largest the two largest metro areas right are historically

(23:27):
extremely diverse, like like like s F and l A.

Speaker 2 (23:30):
Right, people flocked to these cities and built.

Speaker 3 (23:33):
Queer black and brown enclays when white flight brought people
to suburbs, right right, then then gentrification has come back
because the whites, the whites missed being be able to
watch to the markets or badegas the whites.

Speaker 2 (23:46):
No one, I actually do miss walkability, right, I want
to run with my doggie.

Speaker 3 (23:51):
Yeah, so they're like, let me let me back into
the home that I had that I was renting twenty
five years ago for no reason.

Speaker 2 (23:58):
Like you know it right, it's very very very colonial.

Speaker 3 (24:02):
And I mean, like that's obviously an overstimplication, but and
and you know, and and I mean to be funny,
but I do think I think California has had just
had really great PR people to frame it that way,
right right, you know, like people the California Employe is
a great PR team.

Speaker 1 (24:16):
Yeah, must they work office is working, okay, yeah, you know.

Speaker 3 (24:22):
And I will say I do believe that we we
do for as black fems have much more legal protections
than than then BFFs in other states. And so I
don't think the California has seen as a liberal place
without good reason.

Speaker 2 (24:40):
So and you know, but but but but but.

Speaker 3 (24:42):
I wish people understood that legal protections are in place
after an altercation or bad experience, and they're not meant
to be not meant for prevention. So recognize, right that
the state isn't immune to pervasive experiences that harm people
in the moment. We're just more likely to receive some
sort of resolution legally. And to some people, right, that

(25:03):
is a life saving and to others that's not. And
so I think you're question about why white people not
about the volency experiences because I think in some cases
people get resolution or justice through like through the legal forms.

Speaker 2 (25:16):
Right.

Speaker 3 (25:16):
When people are the experiences in other states, it's because
there also has not been a legal process that has
actually benefit them either. And so I think you so,
I do I want to name in honer that that, like,
while things are not perfect in any way, we do
have more going for us.

Speaker 2 (25:31):
And I think people flock here.

Speaker 3 (25:34):
Because they know that, Like, I think people are willing
to deal with some social bullshit if they know the
law like that, they know that they that they're protected
in legal ways, yeah, from very real harms, right, Yeah,
And so I think you know, I think that's a
part of it from like from my from my perspective.

Speaker 1 (25:53):
Yeah, you yeah that so again never thought about it
from that perspective either. So I love that you mentioned that.
I was also going to say to your point too,
like I did. I did a training this week, I
know your rights training for work, and I was telling
the kids that are kids they were teenagers or teenagers
slash eight. They were between the ages of like eighteen

(26:14):
to twenty two. I had basically told them at that training.
I had said, please keep in mind that yes, these
these these rights and these things are here in California
for you. But it does but like to also keep
in mind that they don't have to. Like, if you
get the right person on the right day who truly
wants to help you, yeah, you have right because yeah,

(26:36):
the laws I'm made to be fair. It's not made
to be. It's you know, if you know how I
use it, it can be. It can be, but if
you don't it can also.

Speaker 2 (26:45):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (26:45):
Yeah, And so I want to also like for folks
who are listening right and who are saying that, like
that is a point that people are making that yes,
there are a lot of protections here, but Let's keep
in mind that you can only be protected if the
people who are doing the protecting really want to protect you.
But if they are racist or if they have you know,
isms that they're working through, right, they can they can

(27:08):
send you through all the hoops that they want to
make sure that you don't get the care that.

Speaker 2 (27:12):
You that you can I can.

Speaker 3 (27:14):
I just just that point, right, just I just want
to shot out the organizations like non profits in the state, Yes,
who also do work to know your rights, because I
think to the point, right like, you may have to
rely you may have to rely on a lawyer, and
that lawyer may not have your may have your best
interest to heart. But these organizations who do know your
rights workshops can actually help equip you with the tools
you need to know your rights. Because I think a
lot about by brand time or ice raids are affecting

(27:37):
people like on huge levels. Yeah, and and and I
thinel like I'm sure like many people in some of
those states like Texas may not have the education right
like like like to prevent ice from coming into the
schools or to their homes or like you know, or
like or just stand up to ice agents. But in
California We have a lot of organizations that are doing
their rights workshops that the you know, the they're like, like,

(28:00):
you actually don't have to answer that question for you
actually come off to let them into your workplace or school.
You actually you actually don't owe them a roster ofbsidence
in your in your school who may or may not be
a documented.

Speaker 2 (28:11):
Right like like and so we are we are be like.

Speaker 3 (28:14):
I appreciate that there is a lot of like like
like say this and empowerment to take to like to
to know the law yourself and not have to rely
on like people of the law because you know, damn well,
most people of the law do not want to use
a lot to help you. They want to use a
law against you. So you can be of the law

(28:35):
yourself and learn yourself.

Speaker 2 (28:36):
You can, you can, you can cover a lot more.
You can cover a lot more ass sometimes that way
for yourself.

Speaker 1 (28:41):
And I would say this, you know, I think for people.
So you know, we're kind of getting, you know, towards
the tell end of this combo. But I was going
to say, I think it it is behoove. I saw
a mean today of a of a of a horse
jumping out about seriousness. So they felt like that horse
every time they use the word bhoof so.

Speaker 2 (29:06):
Stupid. But anyway, because that's how my mind work. You
know that I have a touch of the tism, so
you know, I'll be all over the place anyway, anywhere.
I'm gonna say all this to say.

Speaker 1 (29:18):
I think that this is a really good time for
me to say, Like as we're as we're kind of
winding this combo down, if for folks who are listening
to this pod and are saying, oh, I'm gonna make
the jump to go live in La or I'm gonna
make the jump to go to San fran San Diego,
or even so cow riverside, you know the ie San
Diego whatever, right, if you're if you're thinking about that, right,

(29:39):
I would say, you know, one of the big pieces
of advice saying this is something that I also tell
people too, you know when they ask me, like why
because someone at dinner last night, someone someone turned me
and said, you know, you talk a lot of shit
about New York on your podcast, you know, why won't
you ever leave? And I told them, I said, I
you know, as much shit as I talk about other
states and specifically New York. Love my friends who live

(30:01):
in New York. I want to make sure that I
make that very clear that I love y'all. New York
is just not for me. But I was gonna say,
you know, I understand the racism, the homophobia, like I
understand all of that here, and I'm not at a
place in my big age now where i want to
go through relearning that in another city or in another

(30:22):
state and having to figure out what protections I have.
Like at least here in California, I know what the
protections are because I've done my research and work. I've
been working for a nonprofit for almost five years that
has told me time and time again, these are the
rights that you need to go out into the community
and tell people.

Speaker 2 (30:38):
Right.

Speaker 1 (30:39):
So it helps me to know that. But I would
tell people, you know, if you are thinking about moving
to LA or you're thinking about moving to Cali, I
would take a gander to the interwebs and I would
google the history of just just to start the history
of police violence, not just from the LAPD, but look
at San Bernardino Police Department, look at the stuff that

(31:00):
has happened in San Diego. I would look at documentaries
like LA ninety two, that really helps you understand why
Crenshaw looks the way that it does. Right, That helps
you understand why people call Baldwin Hills the black you know,
the black Beverly Hills. Why that Like, that's gonna give
you some some some kind of headway of understanding. Oh,

(31:24):
you know, as much as as as much as people
paint like you said that PRPs, people paint la and
in California to be such this beautiful place. But there's
a lot of hate here. I mean, I mentioned, you know,
a love song for Latasha. That's that they're both on Netflix.
But I even think about, like, I don't know if
you heard about this a couple of you know, years ago.
I don't know if you remember, but right around the
time that we both were, when I was working at

(31:45):
Long Beach and you were, you were living slash working
at Long Beach with me, there was I guess they were.
There was this encampment that was on the fifty seven.
So for those of you who don't live in southern California,
we have a multitude of different freeways, and one of
the main freeways to get in and out of basically
the Long Beach area is the fifty seven. You have
to take the fifty seven to the twenty two. Well,

(32:06):
the fifty seven had an encampment. It was a massive
encampment of houseless people living there, and I guess the
city of Anaheim was trying to figure out what do
we do with these people who are living in this encampment,
and everybody in Anaheim voted against it. They were like,
we don't want these people in our neighborhoods. We don't
want these encampments here, and so the encampment moved. I

(32:27):
still to this day don't know where the encampment is,
but I'm just saying, like, yes, we're this this place
of you know where you know, we're in a The
only thing I keep saying is safety is relative here,
you know safe like you may feel like you have rights,
but I think, like you said, it's pr People want
you to believe that you're safer here in California, And

(32:48):
in reality you might be if you have you know,
the complexion for protection or you're you're not queer, But
if you are marginalized in any capacity here, you still
run the gamut that there's going to be some form
of hatred you're going to experience. While living here, and
so I felt it was so important for us to

(33:08):
have this convo because obviously, right, I think the reason
what made me want to have this convo was thinking
about what happened to Sam, and everyone's saying that.

Speaker 2 (33:18):
Happened in a blue state.

Speaker 1 (33:20):
It happened in New York, and so like, there's this
miss kind of a miseducation of what safety truly looks
like for queer and black people in quote unquote blue states.

Speaker 2 (33:32):
And I just felt like we really needed to touch.

Speaker 3 (33:34):
I mean, that's so real, because let's be honest, all
blue state means, or re estate means, is majority of
those people who vote voted that thing, right, right, That's
not kind of people who did not vote, not kind
of people who who may do some up things. Like.
All that means is that the majority of people who voted,
who are with the vote and who want to vote,

(33:55):
voted in that way.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
That's all. It means. Like there are people of all
of all size.

Speaker 3 (34:00):
Of good and evil and and and we all have
we all capacity for both, and some people choose to
use their power for evil and stuff such, and so
I think, yeah, I think you're actually right, safty is relative,
you know, and I want you I want to screen
your point.

Speaker 2 (34:13):
You mean about like why do people choose to live
here in the places?

Speaker 3 (34:16):
Like one of my one of my closest friends in
the world, you know, she has she has she has
two daughters, and she was telling me, like for a
while her her her family with about moving to a
different state, and she was like, I think where I
stay here because like because I want my daughters to
have the option to have an abortion, like and the

(34:37):
and and this friend like she she likely would like
never have one herself, like you know, like I I
don't think she would believe in doing it for herself,
but she wants her daughters to have the option because
here they do, right, and like that to me, like
I'm like, wow, Like what an amazing parent, right, Like
even if she bean not align with that herself as
a person as a parent. She was like, my kids,
I want them to have the right to choose what

(34:58):
they want to do with with their body, and I
can do that in other states, right, And I think
that it right. And it's also sad that she that
She's like, so I'm gonna make it work to live
here in this state that is still not the best
because my kids have the most rights and such.

Speaker 2 (35:12):
You know that's I did not know that about about Anaheim.

Speaker 3 (35:17):
But you know what though, like babes, babes, if you'll
if it was the sight vibes, if you want to
go to to southern California, don't do the OC vibes,
don't It's a red state in in and of it self.

Speaker 1 (35:28):
Love.

Speaker 2 (35:29):
Don't do it. Do it.

Speaker 1 (35:31):
It's not worth it. It's not worth it. Do you lost,
do do.

Speaker 3 (35:36):
L b C, do San Diego, do the Bay Area,
but don't do don't do the OLC, and don't do
the Central Valley.

Speaker 2 (35:42):
My life just saying. People listening to this are like,
how dare you turn to show names?

Speaker 3 (35:47):
I said what I said because Nope, nope, nip could
not hie me to live in the o C loves Nope,
don't Nope.

Speaker 2 (35:54):
I also the second I'm not beinging, I.

Speaker 1 (35:57):
Just titled the episode don't do it, babe, don't do it,
but don't do it vibes.

Speaker 2 (36:02):
Just put this, put this, put this, some by that,
don't do it vibes.

Speaker 3 (36:09):
And then you and I second your point of research,
like find organizations that reflect your identity in the cities
that you're looking to move right, like if you are
if you are a black fat femb right, look for
a black pride in that city that you want to
look for, right, you know, look if you if you're
if you're a queer bit you loves to cook, find

(36:30):
yourself who are the queer people who love to cook
in the city where you live?

Speaker 2 (36:33):
And find out do they look like you or not?

Speaker 1 (36:36):
You know?

Speaker 2 (36:36):
What areas do they cover?

Speaker 3 (36:37):
What is a living experience like for those folks like
you like like, don't like, don't just look, don't just
look out like a demography map and be like, this
place looks cool, people look happy, but they're all like
like but like but but they're all white folks within
folks or non black folks like you know or or
non quer folks. Go find the places organizations that represent
who you want. What can you want to be a
part of. Because for example, like if you if you're

(37:00):
be if you're a b f F, you may not
you may not want to move to who.

Speaker 2 (37:03):
Or Peco Robertson, absolutely not. You may you may want.

Speaker 1 (37:06):
To find Long Beach or at the park as a
and I would even say you may even want to
pause on Long Beach because Long Beach.

Speaker 2 (37:14):
Long Beach got a little bit of entire blackness. Stupid
we can talk about.

Speaker 1 (37:17):
Oh no, not my alma mater, not my adult don't
come from alma mater.

Speaker 2 (37:22):
Did I lie? But did you fucking life fucking lie? Listen, listen?

Speaker 3 (37:31):
There are en places and if y'all, if you're trying
to move to Long you holler at you, holler at Johoe,
and I will tell you where to go because I
know the places where and where you can go, places
in which you should not but know, but like but
like you know, look up, like don't just look up
a place and see what it has in the city.
Look up who runs the city, who is in the city,
what do they do, Because that's how you'll actually get

(37:52):
to know whether you're not you'll love a place right
like I don't. I have some may folks who move
who move to San Diego, and they moved to like.

Speaker 2 (38:00):
I won't shoot own cities.

Speaker 3 (38:01):
Here, but they moved to like a northern part of
the county and like the hell, what's the hill?

Speaker 1 (38:06):
Let's what they say, name names and keep it on
the playground. So you go to what what.

Speaker 3 (38:13):
We're not gonna do is try and give me kids
on these streets, bitch, not today, say no. They moved
to the northern part of the county, Okay. Oh the hills,
Oh the hills, Oh the mountains, Oh the mars, you know,
all all the places and places and then they see
them and like, girl, I hit it here, And I'm like,
that's because you live in that place.

Speaker 2 (38:34):
That is no place is not.

Speaker 3 (38:35):
For you, girl, Unfortunately, beloved, the place is not gonna
be for you right now. Find a new place. You
should have came here this place and said or if
you can't go to this place, so like and like, yes,
I think any city you can find your communitia people,
but that requires more work and knowledge that people don't
have to like look for the places that you might
actually love to be in and see who was there
all out those organizations, follow them on social media, connect

(38:57):
with them. She's like, hey, if if if I want
to move here, how would you I think It'll message
me and say, hey, I know folks who have been
like I want to move to to San Diego.

Speaker 2 (39:06):
I love doing this X y Z stuff. Do you
think this is a good place for me?

Speaker 3 (39:10):
And I want to say, listen, girl is not my
job to tell you what is not good good for you.
Like I can tell you is if you let these things,
does it have it yes, it's diverse, yes or no?
And I will be honest with you, would saying I
know I didn't find this when I moved here, but
I know it's here now.

Speaker 2 (39:25):
You know what I like. Be informed by the best
decisions you want to make, y'all.

Speaker 1 (39:28):
To your point, Joho, if you're moving here, do a
fuck ton of research. Yeah, please, because just because it's
California doesn't mean it's safe. I just want to make
that very clear that nowhere in the US is safe
for US, period, and even the safety numbers lie. There
was a study a couple of years ago that said
Lo Melendo was ranked as one of the safest cities

(39:50):
in California.

Speaker 2 (39:51):
And my ass was, like, safe for who?

Speaker 1 (39:53):
Because whenever I'm not Loma Linda, I don't feel safe
out there?

Speaker 2 (39:56):
Right so right, so right?

Speaker 1 (39:59):
So the the real question is who needs to be who? Like,
the real thing here is we need to be asking
the question safety is relative you know, to what to like,
to to your identity? What does safety mean for you?
Is it safety from the black side of you. Is
it safety from your queerness? Is it safety for your
your idea of being a you know, a CIS woman

(40:21):
or trans woman? Like, we really need to start interrogating
what safety means. And it's not to say, like I said,
I don't. Part of me wants to tell you not
to move here because I'm sick and tired of traffic.

Speaker 2 (40:32):
But I also understand why people move here.

Speaker 1 (40:34):
So I want to make sure I make that very
clear and that I'm not telling y'all don't come to
California because it's terrible. No, I get it, it's a
little bit better than other places. I want to make
sure that I acknowledge that. But what I'm also saying
is is that when we talk about safety, most of
the time, safety is often meant for white CIS people.

Speaker 2 (40:52):
Okay, so that's the thing.

Speaker 1 (40:53):
I really want to I want to hit kind of
home on, is that the reality is that even in safety,
there's a chance to get help and to feel better
about your lived experiences. But know that racism, homophobia, and
trash people are everywhere, and they are doing everything right
now that they can to get rid of us. And
so I just felt like I felt like we couldn't
kind of put a bow on this conversation without saying that,

(41:16):
like this real, this, this, this conversation right now is
a conversation for BFFs to interrogate what's safe, what safety
means and when people say, oh, this place is safe, who.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
Is it safe for? Who are we? Who are we naming?
And that. So that's literally what I'm left with.

Speaker 3 (41:33):
So now that we have given y'all some homework, before
you pack your bags up from Tuscaloosa, Alabama and try
to head west, you'll need to reflect and we need
to pay some bills of fifties roads for you by
the time you get here.

Speaker 2 (41:44):
Is because we know them.

Speaker 3 (41:45):
We know them drivers be wild, and so we make
sually you have a safe runway, uh for for your
plane and a safe road.

Speaker 2 (41:52):
Tires will be back in gust ag if.

Speaker 1 (42:03):
All right, y'all, so we are back. So earlier this week,
I was on a live with a peer of mine
shout out to my homie Mark Travis Rivera, who hosts
the show The Shift, and they had asked me a
question that I was like, Oh, this is perfect for
us to talk about because on the show I didn't
really have a lot of time to really like delve
into it the way I wanted to, And so for
this week's Go Love Yourself, I was like, let me

(42:24):
just ask that question here, and you know, and me
and Joe can kind of get into a kikey about it.
The question that was asked to us is, you know,
how are we fighting the urge to want to tuck
ourselves away in a moment right now where it feels
hell is scary to be your authentic self? And so
I want to ask you, Joho, like, what are you
doing or what are you like what steps, what things

(42:45):
do you take into consideration, like what what ways are
you helping to kind of hold yourself to accountability of
being your authentic self in a moment where you know,
being us just ain't easy. And so, you know, I
know we I want to say here that I do
realize that this conversation may overlap with stuff we've talked
about in the past, but I want to acknowledge that

(43:08):
when we talked about the authenticity we probably talked about
in twenty twenty two and twenty twenty three is not
the authenticity we are talking about it in twenty twenty five,
And so I want to make sure that I make
that very clear that yes, this may be the same question,
that this may even be something you've heard on a
past episode, But I want folks to acknowledge that we

(43:28):
are in a very very different time and that it
is it's harder that I want to acknowledge to anybody
to be authentically anything that's not white or cis at
this point in time is hard. And so you know,
I think for me before I throw it to you.
You know, I the way I've been saying I'm taking
accountability for my authenticity is really reminding myself that I

(43:51):
didn't fight this hard to get this far and then
to turn around and go back to being scared to.

Speaker 2 (43:57):
Love this right.

Speaker 1 (43:58):
Like, we've all worked so hard to get to a
place where we like our nails and we like the femininity,
and we like our body size, and we like the
way we look in a mirror. And so I tell myself, girl, like, bitch, Like,
there are days where I'm like, do I take these
nails off because I just don't feel like, No, no,
you take your black ass down to that nail shop
and get that feel because you've worked too hard to

(44:21):
get comfortable in those nails. And I think that's the
thing that has really been keeping me right, is that
that even when we are scared that we were, you know,
you were scared when you were tucked away, and you
were scared when you're not, so you might as well not.
And so I kind of put this thing in this
notion of you, like you're damned if you do, you

(44:41):
damned if you don't. And I think for me, I'd
rather be damned if I do. And so I think
that's the thing I keep telling myself is like, if
they're gonna come for you, make sure that your nails
are done right.

Speaker 2 (44:51):
Okay, what about you, love.

Speaker 3 (44:53):
Because if I'm gonna be in fear, bitch, I'm gonna
be in fear fabulous. Hello, hello, So because if you
come for me, a girl, these these nails are, I
have ten nimes on my hands, girl, Barry, Okay, I
will come back with evengs.

Speaker 2 (45:05):
Not trying me.

Speaker 3 (45:06):
I told see, you know, I was question because I
told myself, I committed to myself that if the administration
was going to be what it was and is, then
I was going to live more audaciously rightfually to open
than ever. I told myself that I'm going to exist
in spite of what's happening around me, and to spite

(45:28):
was happening around me because I refuse to exist, because
like I refuse to exist like in fear, I refuse
to exist in like incompromise, I choose. I choose to
exist more easily than more visibly than ever, because I
know that it is important and valuable for for for

(45:50):
folks like us who look like us, who reflect us,
to show up and show out in a time that's
trying to kill us. When that stull comes out in
a few days, I'll just have been part of a
celebration for the community that I live in and where
I was an honery for being a quote unquote fabulous communicator. Okay,

(46:11):
how are you doing? And that means a communicator as
someone and i've community communicaiate as one who fights for
our rights here and use communications were too up with
dark community, which is been I feel and I believe
is part of who I am.

Speaker 2 (46:22):
And so to me, like you know, I I'm not.

Speaker 3 (46:25):
Tucking myself away because I think your point right, Like
I would I like I was already scared in the closet.
If if if I'm scared, why like being scared in
the closet won't do anything for me. The what is
I can do for myself and my people is to
be scared outside of the closet and be and be
like and be scared as I get shipp done.

Speaker 2 (46:44):
Like nothing I do is because I feel safe doing it.

Speaker 3 (46:50):
I do it because if I'm gonna be scared, then
I'm gonna be scared while like like while working my
hardest so no one else has to live in fear. Again,
I don't want people to live in fear like I
am currently or that or like I have before and
so so yeah so so so to me, I know,
I am find urge there. I have urges every day
to be like let me let me just like you know,

(47:13):
let let let me stay, let me sleep, let me
not show up today in this thing. But then I'm
like no, because like because if I don't join the
people who have done this, and like like when, like
what am I doing for the people who who who
come after this?

Speaker 2 (47:29):
You know? I think, I think like.

Speaker 3 (47:32):
Like Mike, Marcia and Sylvia didn't go through the ship
that didn't go through the ship.

Speaker 2 (47:36):
That that they went through.

Speaker 3 (47:37):
Sibby did not stay on a stage until all these
gays fucked themselves right and and drag them just like
just so I can sit back and say I'm not
gonna do that, right, I do that right now because
on the line, right, I never pripage work like likely likely,
who's the say, because I'm you know, I'm not the
becise checks.

Speaker 2 (47:58):
But like likely, I will stay.

Speaker 3 (48:00):
In the job that I have that I love and
I feel comfortable and finance. You're secure, so I can
do these things as well too. Let me fight for
my community with my privilege.

Speaker 1 (48:10):
That and that's the that is that that's the big
part of this.

Speaker 2 (48:14):
You know.

Speaker 1 (48:14):
I want to say that too, because I know that
folks have kind of you know, we've had conversations in
the past, and folks have left us messages basically saying,
you know, y'all are coming from a place of privilege
to be able to say, you know, stay stay visible,
stay this, you know, when you don't live in a
state or a city where you're having to deal with
this stuff. So I want to acknowledge that. I do
want to acknowledge that a part of this, this idea

(48:34):
of being authentic today does come from a place of
we live in socaw where we know we have rights,
and we know that we have more eyes on us
that are watching us and protecting us. Right, but I
do want to say, like, I think that there's something
to be said about this idea that if you are
just showing up in yourself and who you are, regardless
of where you live, no matter what you're having to

(48:57):
deal with, that is still a form of resistance. And
that's what we need in order for others who come
after us to be safe and to be comfortable in
who they are. And so, you know, and I'll even
say this, you know, I haven't really gone into too
much detail about the thought process of my book or
the thought process of like me putting the specific picture

(49:19):
I have on the front of my book, right, but
I'll be I can even say right now, like a
year ago, when we were going through the schematics of
what that what that book was going to look like,
there was a part of me that was like, oh,
I don't really want to put a picture on there,
because I don't want my family to see that book
and to be like, well, why does John have nails
and why is John dressed that way? And why does
John look so feminine on the cover right like that

(49:42):
was this was before you know that man was in office,
right but there was a part of me that has said, again, bitch,
you have worked too hard to get to this book
for you to tuck yourself away and not allow yourself
to be on the cover and to be proud of
what you look like on that cover. And so I
think I think about that, right like, that is a
form of resistance for everyone who picks my book up,

(50:04):
or you know, puts on their makeup or puts their
contacts in, or do whatever you do to feel like
you you are a part of the resistance. You are
the one that is pushing back on what society is
telling you you can't be. And I think for me,
that's beautiful. That is what that's what.

Speaker 2 (50:20):
The community needs more than ever right now.

Speaker 1 (50:22):
And so I just felt the need to say that
because it can feel very scary right now, and you
can probably be thinking I want to protect myself, but
I want to make sure that you know that even
in the mind of protecting yourself, there's still a chance
that you know it's it's it may not be enough.
So be out there, be just be, my God, just be,

(50:46):
just be Okay, So now, that we have reasserted that
we ain't come this fall to go this fall. Shout
out to my das Old Red Peloton.

Speaker 2 (50:55):
Y'all know who you are.

Speaker 1 (50:56):
We are going to take a quick break and come
back with y'all's favorite segment, more of It. Okay, y'all.
So for this week, our yes ma'am and our nomn PAMs,
we are Some of them are very very serious and

(51:19):
some of them are not. But I did want to
say this so I have this. So for this week,
my yes ma'am, I wanted to shout out the press
tour for Clean Slate. I have yet to jump into
that show. And it's not because I don't want to
watch it. I'll be transparency. I just have not had
time to sit down and actually glue myself in like
to lock into that show, which I that and Scam

(51:42):
Got Us and a few other shows that I really
need to catch up on. But I will say, like
I I watching the press tour, it has really made
me so happy to see that so many of the
actors and so many people who are tied to the
show have said, oh, I had to do my homework
to be a better person, or I had to do

(52:03):
my homework to understand the script better, or I had
to do my homework, or I had to do my
own unlearning to take this role so I could be
a better you know, ally or a better accomplice for
the trans community, specifically the black trans community. And so
I just I've loved watching the folks connect the ones
who are not queer specifically, and how they talk about
the work that they're doing to be better to us

(52:26):
and to encourage other people in our community to and
I say our community meaning the black community, to be
better to black trans women. So I just I'm really excited.
Like I said, I have a few things I have
to get done this weekend, but I do have plans
to lock into it, and I definitely just want to
shout out, you know, Laverne for everything she's doing, you know,
to keep black trans representation alive in an industry that

(52:49):
is also trying to get rid of us as well.
So with that being said, I Joe, I need to think,
I wanted to say for my Nomaan Pan, I think
kind of to our point, and we've talked about this
kind of up earlier in the show, there is this
I keep hearing people say, you know, oh, you know,

(53:14):
you don't need to be fearful. Stop, you know, don't
be scared. You're okay, You're in California, You'll be fine. No, Like,
I like, I really need people to stop telling marginalized people,
specifically black queer people, not to be fearful right now,
because I want to validate that we have the right

(53:35):
to be scared, but also to keep being your amazing self.
But at the same time, I want to validate that
your fear is real because that that it's like, it's
at the front door right now. And so to those
who are trying to discount it because they feel like
you live in a state or you live in a
place where you may have a little bit more rights

(53:56):
than the others, just shut the fuck up. No, I
don't say that to be disrespectful, but I just go,
like we right now. It's almost like when women say
that they're terrified of men and or sis men per se,
and people jump into the comments and tell women, you know,
or guys school.

Speaker 2 (54:13):
I'm not a bad guy, Like, don't speak for me.
I'm not a bad guy.

Speaker 1 (54:18):
And it's like no one says you were a bad guy,
but we're talking about is the systematic fear that women,
sis women have, even trans women, my God have of men. Right,
So it's the same concept when you are a person
who sits in privilege and you know what I mean,
Like and you tell me not to be scared when

(54:40):
you know they're not coming for you, Like, girl, shut
the fuck.

Speaker 2 (54:42):
Someone gonna say I'm not a bad guy.

Speaker 3 (54:44):
I immediately am like, so you are a bad guy,
right If you gotta tell me not a bad a girl,
guess what, you're a bad guy like you and gotta
talk about if you are about it.

Speaker 1 (54:54):
So let's just yeah, yeah, So that's just where I'm at,
Like I I'm just out of place right now, where
I'm tired of people telling me, telling other queer people,
telling other black, red people how they need to feel
about systems that perpetually gas like them.

Speaker 2 (55:10):
Like it's the same.

Speaker 1 (55:11):
It's it's the same way I watch Beauty and the Beasts,
I get so mad because everybody was trying to dance
around Bell and trying to talk her into loving the.

Speaker 2 (55:19):
Beast when he was keeping her against her will. He
he literally would.

Speaker 1 (55:25):
Not let her out of that castle, and everybody was saying,
you should just be so grateful to be.

Speaker 2 (55:28):
In the castle bench. Shut the fuck up she is.
She is a concubine. Let Bell go. I've done a
lot of thinking.

Speaker 3 (55:39):
This was not, this is not this is a turn
I thought it was in this episode.

Speaker 2 (55:45):
Just the beas for so many people right now. Belle
was a concubine. She was big its.

Speaker 1 (55:52):
Her will and people in the city were dancing and
singing around her like she was not kidnapped.

Speaker 3 (56:01):
The reason while I'm messaging these films like I would
never trade my voice for a man. But okay, are go,
go up, says it couldn't be me for some legs.
Go now absolutely so I can run, so I can't
run my can't say ship, Why am I going with
these legs?

Speaker 2 (56:16):
Now? Just march silently. Don't nobody want to be up
here anyway?

Speaker 1 (56:22):
Because the ghetto, I would say, I'd go to the
ocean before I go up, go up to earth. I
wish I could have tapped Airy on the shoulder and said, girl,
you don't want this, You stay down there, you don't
want to be up here.

Speaker 2 (56:35):
Keep your voice, keep swimming. God, okay, maam, Pam no man,
pam is. I'm trying to be serious, but that was
just funny. I know, man, Pam is just two.

Speaker 1 (56:53):
I just.

Speaker 3 (56:56):
So I feel like on this Black History Month, people
have stop trying us as much like and I appreciate
that no one's saying dumb shit, but also now no
one's wrong to us, Like I'm like, I'm like, okay,
actually I miss when y'all would suck up and y'all
be fuck up because.

Speaker 2 (57:15):
At least you were trying.

Speaker 3 (57:16):
But now you're like now like now it's like it's given,
like it's giving me girls, like you're all the plastics
and we're just like we're all Janz's like, I'm talking
to us now, so can y'all like y'all just get together,
like also talk to us, raseell talk to us.

Speaker 2 (57:33):
Every day, please not don't just talk to us in
Black History Month? Look at yourselves correct and like I
just like no.

Speaker 3 (57:39):
Man haam to all the people who just like I
just I'm at a point where I'm just it's like
I can't help but a low to keep from crying.
All the folks who keep like who keep like bodying
our swag just like just to use it and and
that like it's cool when you do it.

Speaker 2 (57:56):
But like it's not like it's just what it What
are y'all doing?

Speaker 1 (58:00):
What are you?

Speaker 2 (58:01):
I saw?

Speaker 1 (58:01):
Did you see that TikTok girl dancing to they not
like us? And I guess she like put her own
little spin on it. And everybody's been like that is yeah, okay,
but like okay for them, like like when I sent
you that the girl of singing alter ego but an opera,
like do I love the idea?

Speaker 2 (58:19):
Yes? Don't you know a white woman singing alter ego?

Speaker 1 (58:21):
No?

Speaker 3 (58:23):
Like stay girl, stay in your lane. Listen, I don't
have traffic because I sing in my lane.

Speaker 2 (58:30):
Okay, Now that is a bar. Could you believe fucking world?

Speaker 3 (58:34):
That is that?

Speaker 2 (58:35):
Okay? Bars, I'm just.

Speaker 3 (58:37):
Saying like, you don't want traffic, girl, k in your
lane and stay there absolutely now my yes, ma'am. Pam
is also it's silly here we go, but it's going
to the traders because this show, I know every.

Speaker 2 (58:54):
Week Alan, I'm every week Alan coming is it's calling you.

Speaker 3 (58:59):
Paula was like, hello, Hello, guess what my show is
eating And you just may not be like no, like
it's ship like terms of look, every time the drama
is right, he literally just sits back and does nothing,
and the drama breathes itself. This episode, last episode took
me the fuck out because okay, because up until if y'all.

Speaker 2 (59:22):
I mean this is on Tuesdays. Yeah, if y'all have
not listened to the episodes, y'all show right, has.

Speaker 3 (59:29):
Played a fantastic game. And I will say, this is
what happens. That's what happens when you when you become
too stressed about the game.

Speaker 2 (59:37):
Bitch, you fuck up. Because she got stressed and she
fucked up.

Speaker 3 (59:39):
Right, then y'all be out here doing doing crocodile tears
this entire time, and this episode she she she tightened
the fuck up of nowhere, which I mean, go out, girl,
but also like damn, but but Carolyn, like you set
yourself up. Girl, You was out here being dumb like
you made conversations because she fell back against the corner,
and I get why, right, and so I'm mad about that,

(01:00:00):
and I'm mad that she got banished. Bottle was like, girl,
like you played yourself. But the drama was just so
because there was a moment where because I was, I went.

Speaker 1 (01:00:08):
Into this, she could have gotten Danielle out last episode,
she she really could have.

Speaker 2 (01:00:15):
She see. The thing is.

Speaker 3 (01:00:17):
The thing is though like she she's she she said
to Danielle's faces, I don't trust you, and so would
you say that girl, she don't have your best interest
of her like and she I think she I for example,
I think she was right to say listen not by Brindany, because.

Speaker 2 (01:00:32):
I absolutely for I absolutely could not which.

Speaker 3 (01:00:36):
Daniel body, do not sell, do not sell Carolyn out
Now I do think Brindany will also sell Danielle down
the river.

Speaker 2 (01:00:42):
Like that for sure.

Speaker 3 (01:00:44):
But like but Killen Kellen steid her fate when she
told Neale that she trust and then she said her
faving further when she was out here playing the damn
game girl like like it's that because literally like because
I don't watching YouTube, but on YouTube day like they
have videos of the Banished meeting like the Banished meets
meets the Murdered every episode wow, which is really and
and then and then and then they they reveal who

(01:01:06):
the traders were and the like was reacting to it.
Every single person that's read these letters are like, Danielle
is not playing a game, and Killn's playing an amazing
game and this episode it flipped and the way and
there's moment where I remement where I was like, because
so it's okay. So Danielle came to Karlyn hot, she gave,
she gave receipts and Karen did not have a good
Jaren did not have a good rebuttal and I was like, girl,

(01:01:28):
you have to come in prepared. Then Carolyn got into
her white girl bag instead of busting out these tears,
and she that's where she messed up.

Speaker 2 (01:01:36):
She got from in for a moment and for a
moment she had me.

Speaker 3 (01:01:40):
She had like I because I was like, no, Danielle,
even if I know the truth, I'm I'm I tears
are working for me.

Speaker 2 (01:01:48):
But Danielle, But Danielle, and I'll give her this.

Speaker 1 (01:01:50):
Danielle said, you want to play the tears game, bitch,
I'll give you tears and gave us just as well too.

Speaker 2 (01:01:54):
And people were here, but people were out here believing it.

Speaker 3 (01:01:57):
I don't now, I don't believe Danielle's hears because the
way she acted when when when when Killen was banished,
it was kind of like.

Speaker 2 (01:02:02):
Girl, you're doing a lot. You're doing a lot, a lot,
like running off the camera. It was the run. The
run took me out. Why did she run off that
run in that fucking hat.

Speaker 1 (01:02:15):
I am so over her and.

Speaker 2 (01:02:18):
Danielle take them braids down.

Speaker 1 (01:02:20):
I am sure somewhere in Scotland they have jail for
you to you to do something unnaturally.

Speaker 3 (01:02:27):
Look I heard that they I heard that they don't.
They don't even sit the castle. They sleep in the
hotel near the street. Girl, go go go down to
the going down to the to the to the town
square and for you, like.

Speaker 1 (01:02:39):
God, noupply real quick, just like I'm sure they got
Amazon over there. You can on yourself some hairs.

Speaker 2 (01:02:46):
Allen got money, Alan Allen coming to make it happen.
Cobody can you have?

Speaker 1 (01:02:50):
I know you have.

Speaker 2 (01:02:51):
You have stylists, You have stylist there for somebody. You
can just make it work.

Speaker 1 (01:02:54):
I laughed when they said that, uh that the black
girl stylist left when her hair is fault. Somebody said
that her hair looks that way because they sent all
the black girls.

Speaker 3 (01:03:05):
Listen, because because because because Danielle is I think is
the last black person.

Speaker 2 (01:03:10):
She is, and well, black Dolors is still there.

Speaker 1 (01:03:15):
What she is.

Speaker 2 (01:03:17):
I will forever call her black Dolors because.

Speaker 1 (01:03:19):
Of worst She's not black she's but she's black Dlorus
to me, okay, so because.

Speaker 2 (01:03:27):
I screamed when he started it and I'm going to
finish it. She I love Laius. I love the Laurius
so much. She is too she wins.

Speaker 1 (01:03:37):
If she wins, I will be so happy. She'll be
happy because I'm not for anybody.

Speaker 2 (01:03:42):
So I want to. Tom is the Kocaine, right, He's
the basic want Tom.

Speaker 3 (01:03:48):
Tom is fantastic television because he I don't know what
game he's playing. I know what game he's playing. He
is playing, not not checkers. He's playing GoFish and they're
playing chess the way the way he thinks about but
I'm like, your suspicions are so wrong. And the way

(01:04:09):
he thought he was the answer to several questions was
so fucking funny.

Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
Who's the leader? I think it's me. I think it's Tom.

Speaker 1 (01:04:18):
No, No one think that you bo Nobody. Everyone's like, okay,
I've got pin wheels for eyes. It was so funny
that boy is jumping. No, could people be like Tomas
because he's detoalking on the show. The shows very yes,
it's very evident that he's going through.

Speaker 2 (01:04:36):
Is wild. Anyways, that's the show is fantastic. It is
It is great TV.

Speaker 1 (01:04:41):
And for those of you who have not watched it
up to this point, so sorry, you know. So I
was gonna there's one point that I want to make
and then and then we can go and close show.
I wanted to say the reason why I forget what
her name is, the one who won first the first
season one because he made everybody think that they were

(01:05:03):
her favorite person. And that's the game of the Trade
of Traders that I've learned watching it through the way
I watch it, you cannot play the game like so
even though even like I know, everybody was so like
all up in arms when Boston Bob was a Boston
Robb com Boston Bob, Boston Robb was there, it was like, oh,
Boston Robb is here. Where he fucked up? Was where

(01:05:24):
when he went after Bob the drag queen. And because
it became too personal, And so that is the thing
that I you know, who am I I'm not on
any of these shows, right, but I've learned by just
watching this show, like if you're gonna be a trader,
you have to make everybody believe that even if you
don't fuck it, you don't fuck with them and you
don't like them, they still have to end their heart

(01:05:47):
of hearts, believe that they are special to you, and
you just have to play a game of like I'm
here to be cool with everybody, even if you're not
cool with people. That's where I feel like all of
the Traders fucked up, like every like Carolyn's demise was Danielle.
Danielle's demise is going to be trying to.

Speaker 3 (01:06:05):
You know, if Britney joins, bing's gonna be your demise,
which to me is gaggy. I'm like, you came into
the show bawling your eyes out seeing Brittany because how
she betrayed you in Big Brother.

Speaker 2 (01:06:20):
Just just to be on her side. And let me
tell you right now, she's.

Speaker 1 (01:06:25):
Gonna turn around and bite you, you saying, way did
she bid her? And I'm waiting for it. I'm really
waiting for it. Like I said, all my cards though
are I'm throwing all my cards into the head of
Black Dolores.

Speaker 2 (01:06:36):
I hope she wins.

Speaker 1 (01:06:37):
So anyway, all that to be said, send us your thoughts,
your feedback in your email to Blackfatfempott at gmail dot com.
You can also send your thoughts via social media by
interacting with our post on Instagram and Blue Sky, just
letting you all know we are not on X. I
had people say, oh, we don't see you in next anymore.
We're not on X anymore. That was a personal choice.
We just felt like it was not a healthy place

(01:06:58):
for us to be as a show and as people,
and so we have we have left, but we are
on TikTok. We are also on YouTube where you can
watch these episodes.

Speaker 2 (01:07:07):
And they are free.

Speaker 1 (01:07:08):
They are not behind a paywall, so that is, you know,
kudos to us for not putting stuff behind a paywall,
because there are a lot of shows out there that
do so.

Speaker 2 (01:07:17):
With that being said, Queen Jojo, where can the dolls
find you? My sweet baby?

Speaker 3 (01:07:22):
You can find me and Jojo Daniels across all the socials,
including Blue Sky or my website at join nails dot com.
If not there, you will find me posing as John's
pr consultant and the other day coordinator to make sure
ship does not pop off and we are moving and
we are moving. Put that book down, bitch, this pitch
does not belong here. They need to go John, go,
this is your mark, baby, go right right right, I

(01:07:44):
will happily get me together.

Speaker 2 (01:07:45):
Take it. Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:07:46):
I'm making sure no one foks at you at this event.
I've been making sure press no questions. I'm so sorry,
no questions, and tell John have been briefed, do not. Yes,
this is not a talk back. This is a talk
at social in conversation with one questions please nobody else.

Speaker 2 (01:08:03):
So sorry, thank you for TBH. You ain't go ahead
of time. There's no questions, cuz.

Speaker 1 (01:08:07):
Anyway, get in and got get out. Okay, get in
and get out, my god, buy the book and go home.
But with that being said, as for me and my household,
you can find me over at ww dot doctor John
Paul dot com, where I will be pushing the link
for folks to buy the book. We have less than

(01:08:28):
We're almost what close to thirty days to the release
of my book, so if you have not pre ordered it,
you can at my website, or you can hel over
to Barnes and Noble.

Speaker 2 (01:08:37):
You can go to your local bookstore.

Speaker 1 (01:08:38):
I even know people who have friends who work at
bookstores that they've told to purchase the book and things,
so that that has been very helpful.

Speaker 2 (01:08:45):
But thank you so much. Go down to the to
the on Nines, and to the Googles.

Speaker 1 (01:08:49):
If you've got twenty five dollars for Starbucks or to
spend at Target, you've got twenty five dollars to buy
my books.

Speaker 2 (01:08:56):
So I just want to make sure that I put
that out places right now, either of us. So I'm
just saying.

Speaker 1 (01:09:03):
With that being said, we want to thank our producer
be Wang for having all the logistics and keeping the
show up and running, and everyone over at iHeartMedia for
supporting us as we continue to take over the airwaves.

Speaker 2 (01:09:14):
Amen. Amen, Amen.

Speaker 1 (01:09:16):
We would also like to shout out a wonderful friend
to the show and editor Chris Rogers, who without them,
we would not have visuals, you know. So I'm just
sitting here and I'm going, Beyonce, what what what? What
is the like?

Speaker 2 (01:09:36):
What's the what's the end game? Mm hmm?

Speaker 1 (01:09:40):
What is like? What? Like?

Speaker 2 (01:09:41):
I want to know now, and I'm not even being messy.
I'm trying.

Speaker 1 (01:09:44):
I would love to know what her thought process is
and not giving us visuals for either one of these albums,
I want to know, you know, alway.

Speaker 3 (01:09:54):
I will hold my I'll bite my tongue until off
the third album drops, which will be out here.

Speaker 2 (01:10:00):
You are the third tour, but the third tour there
is not a feature film.

Speaker 1 (01:10:04):
So you're saying you're gonna hold your tongue to twenty
twenty seven because you know that's what's gonna happen. Right,
We'll get the we'll get the album next year, and
then we're touring twenty twenty seven if we're still here,
because there is a comment coming our way.

Speaker 2 (01:10:15):
Listen, there is. They said that there was a comment
that's coming our way.

Speaker 1 (01:10:20):
And I just also want to say that there are
still two people floating out in space that cannot come home.
I want to know what that's about, too, But anyway,
I'm a random tangent.

Speaker 2 (01:10:32):
We need to wrap this shit up. This has been
another show. This is gonna be speak What are you saying?
What that's a not NASA? But I come for us, girl,
you God, we've.

Speaker 1 (01:10:49):
Got the trouble by so many people in this episode.
My god, this has been another show. Stay felm and
fabulous and remember what, Jojo.

Speaker 2 (01:10:57):
We may not be your cup of tea, but girl,
but be guess myself, I'll goad drink some water. Anyways, Okay,
people don't yes something God drink some b wappings. Anyway,
I love us for real, Bbe

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