Millennial Meltdown (Featuring Chris Rodgers)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Blackfat Film Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio and
Doctor John Paul LLC. Hey everyone, welcome to another episode
of the Blackfiff Film Podcast, where all the intersections of
an NDA are celebrated. I am one of your hosts, John.
Also know that Doctor John Paul, and I'm here just
like you this brontos and disappointed that that man we

(00:23):
all hate.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
Is still alive.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
Now for those of you saying, oh, doctor John Paul,
you shouldn't wish death on people. What about his family,
the people who care for him?

Speaker 2 (00:38):
Fuck them people too.

Speaker 1 (00:39):
I'm almost one hundred percent sure that they wish I
was dead, So I'm gonna wish they was dead.

Speaker 3 (00:44):
First.

Speaker 2 (00:46):
Fuck Donald Trump out the gate.

Speaker 1 (00:52):
Fuck Donald Trump. Uh, fuck Donald Trump? Yes, yes, fucked.
And you know what, fuck anybody who's a billionaire right
now too, because really, like even Beyonce, no Shay, I
love her, I love her to the moon, but fuck
billionaires because they are the reason why we're in the
situation we're in. Yes, I'm coming in hot, you know,

(01:15):
toomp the rich.

Speaker 4 (01:16):
My friend as my friend this week reminded me Beyonce
it's not a billionaire herself, because I was.

Speaker 5 (01:21):
Like, Beyonce, and she was like, hold up, now a
billionaire by herself.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Her network roll that back a little bit?

Speaker 5 (01:30):
What okay? Okay?

Speaker 4 (01:32):
And she was like, hello, be Hive, I have some uh,
I have some trairs for you.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
Not traders. I'm not girl, not.

Speaker 1 (01:41):
Her sending us to Scotland so anywhere crazy crazy word yeah,
but anyway, how are you doing?

Speaker 3 (01:48):
Girl? My loves?

Speaker 5 (01:52):
It's your best?

Speaker 3 (01:52):
See Joe?

Speaker 5 (01:53):
Hello, isn't it shortened.

Speaker 3 (01:56):
To my name? Girl?

Speaker 5 (01:57):
Saying my name? Saying my name?

Speaker 3 (02:01):
Are you no?

Speaker 5 (02:03):
I'm your husband? You my husband? Shame?

Speaker 3 (02:11):
It's your best?

Speaker 4 (02:11):
See Jordan aka Jo when im here, went to remind
y'all that that story you posted sit in your graft,
to sit in your drafts or the group chat. Sometimes
sometimes not everything, sometimes times this way in particulars just

(02:32):
everythho feels the need to share, if you could just
share a lot, like you don't need to have everything,
Like I love to be coffy online.

Speaker 5 (02:43):
I should post more. People mean, I should be more
unhinged and I'm and I'm here for I want to
be more hinge. I want to be silly.

Speaker 4 (02:50):
Like you can be unhinged in a way or you
can just do too much and something I'll be doing.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
Too much, like three, three much much, you know, four
much five much too much?

Speaker 4 (03:02):
And I'm not trying young right, like no doctor, It's
like it's you know, it's your your life, your prof
your profile, your choice.

Speaker 5 (03:11):
I support thee whatever that he wants to do.

Speaker 4 (03:14):
But I'm just telling you that I I see at
the time now I'm not not What I'm not saying
is if I if I'm a close friends list, don't
remove me, please.

Speaker 5 (03:23):
I do want to see that for sure.

Speaker 1 (03:24):
I want to make sure that we want want to
be on that least that's there.

Speaker 4 (03:28):
Even if you post dumb ship, I'll still support you,
I'll wrong with you. But I'm just saying, like, sometimes
we don't need to know that you dated that you
want on a date, Like do you want to date
with the guy who could be a serial killer? Like
we said she didn't don't even know that we wanted
to know that that, like you shot yourself to stay
at work.

Speaker 5 (03:44):
Yeah, I don't have to know that. That can just
be locked down and drafts. Tell your mom, Jesus.

Speaker 1 (03:50):
I always think about that clip, right, hell, Buddha that
I always think about that clip I saw there was
a woman who got stood up on a date and
she basically was going like literally like clip by clip
explaining how she got how and why she got stood up,
and by the end of it, we were like, I
felt so bad for I'm like, girl, why would you
tell us all of that? Like we didn't we don't

(04:12):
need to know you got stood up, honey, Like it's sad,
Like I feel bad for you, but like sometimes we
just don't need to know that. And I mean, if
for those of you, I think it was episode one
sixty three and one sixty four, we did a whole
episode about why we don't need to know all of
your business, and so I would I would it would
behoove me to tell you to go back and listen

(04:32):
to that episode, because sometimes sometimes some times things need
to be shared and sometimes they don't. But with that
being said, we have someone who knows all of our business.
They listen to everything, they have listened to every episode,
they have edited every episode, and so this week we said,
why not invite them to the third seat because they

(04:53):
are as much of this show as we are.

Speaker 2 (04:55):
This week we are graced in.

Speaker 1 (04:56):
Our third seat by a person who makes this po podcast.

Speaker 2 (05:01):
What it is now.

Speaker 1 (05:02):
You may not know them, but you know their work
and a lot of the stuff that you see on
line has been touched by the hands of Chris created.

Speaker 2 (05:11):
Welcome back, Chris Rogers to the show.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
How you're doing, infinitely talented BFF?

Speaker 2 (05:17):
How you doing, my love?

Speaker 6 (05:18):
Chris Rogers add sound effects here? Please listen, we can
prepare listen editors, Now, okay, life sound word?

Speaker 3 (05:35):
How y'all doing? Okay?

Speaker 6 (05:38):
Because I'm gonna forget later, you know what I mean.
I'm here, I'm here, I'm living. If you follow me
anytime this week. No, it's fu PayPal, it's still that.
So I will bleep that the government is on fire.
They're dropping crack back off in the hood. So I'm

(05:59):
just tired going. I am just going through things, and
I'm just hearing with y'all.

Speaker 1 (06:05):
Yes, yes, it's it's fuck Ronald Reagan too, because he's
part of the reason why we got here.

Speaker 6 (06:12):
So and the thing about he who shall not be named,
is like you're doing some wild new age stuff. What
happened to just old school racism? What happened to just
the old stuff we used to know? And hey openly
like Reagan was a girl, we knew to just not
fuck with and this this this she should not be named.

(06:33):
It's just like out here wild I wanted to white
haunt people like I want to know.

Speaker 1 (06:39):
Every day is something everything like like like neo racism world.

Speaker 4 (06:45):
I'm like, Grian want, I want, neo soul, Yeah want, Okay,
I want?

Speaker 6 (06:51):
Okay, Well, well everybody calm.

Speaker 4 (06:57):
Down, you know, and I will say and I will
say to my will say to my earlier statement Chris
cam Us whatever he wants because he knows all our secrets.

Speaker 5 (07:06):
So Chris, I will always send what whatever you want.

Speaker 7 (07:08):
Er.

Speaker 4 (07:08):
I will never tell you're posting too much. In the
fact you aren't posting enough.

Speaker 5 (07:12):
That's all.

Speaker 6 (07:14):
In full transparency. When I first read the outline today,
it was like, you know, Chris for thirst traps on Instagram,
and I like that because it's like.

Speaker 3 (07:24):
You did my image. Okay, mind you.

Speaker 6 (07:28):
Before I started this, I went to my Instagram and
it's full like body out everything else. I was like, well,
maybe I should have left it there. Maybe something that's true,
you know what I mean?

Speaker 5 (07:38):
Because the truth is the truth.

Speaker 3 (07:40):
Did you the truth is the truth? Okay?

Speaker 6 (07:42):
If you go to Chris c x R O d
G e on Instagram. You will see things, but we
know why.

Speaker 3 (07:48):
Okay, okay, oh my gosh.

Speaker 6 (07:51):
One day, I'm gonna tell you all about how I
was on only Fans for like three days and I
just could not take.

Speaker 3 (07:58):
It was too much pressure.

Speaker 2 (07:59):
It is, you know what You're not.

Speaker 1 (08:01):
Actually, you're not the first person I've ever heard say that.
I have a couple of people that I know who
either were on only Fans and they deactivated their platform,
or friends who were on only Fans and they stopped
posting because they said the same thing. They said that
after a while, what felt like good and felt fun
became a lot of pressure.

Speaker 6 (08:17):
You have to treat it like a job you do.
You have to treat it like a full dyn to five.
You have to put in on W nine. You have
to really do the work. And I'm just not that
y'all know me. I'm listen. I'm last minute, but I
come through. I can't be out here disappoint.

Speaker 3 (08:34):
No, it's too much.

Speaker 2 (08:37):
To qweet us.

Speaker 3 (08:39):
I got one comment.

Speaker 6 (08:41):
I got one comment one day, and dud it was
just like, you're not doing anything with their life on
social media, so why are you not posting on only Fans?

Speaker 3 (08:48):
And I was like, hey, god, wait on me.

Speaker 6 (08:50):
I was like, now you we too personal, sir, that's
we need to throw hands at this.

Speaker 5 (08:55):
You even know who I am? Like that that's great.

Speaker 3 (08:57):
Yeah, people like they know you people.

Speaker 4 (09:00):
Because you've given us one hundred and sixty seven shows
so far.

Speaker 3 (09:03):
Yeah, okay, you've been busy.

Speaker 1 (09:06):
But in parasocial relationships that get you every fucking I'm.

Speaker 3 (09:09):
Sure y'all can relate.

Speaker 6 (09:10):
People will walk up to you and like, really, I
feel like they've lived and know your experiences, and you're like,
I don't listen.

Speaker 3 (09:18):
I got the guts today.

Speaker 6 (09:19):
I don't have time to talk to you.

Speaker 1 (09:21):
When we were at Jade and Kiya's live show event,
we had a similar situation. I don't want to give
too much away, but we had a situation where both
me and Chris looked at each other because someone that
came up and they were just a little too comfortable.

Speaker 2 (09:33):
So yeah, it happens all the time.

Speaker 5 (09:38):
It was just a little too.

Speaker 3 (09:39):
Much, give me too much. People.

Speaker 4 (09:42):
People always be often like like like they see me,
we're mey and best friends. I'm like, I have enough.
I think I'm finding on you. Yeah, and like I'm
so sorry. I can't be who you want me to be.

Speaker 5 (09:54):
But like you weren't paying me to be that person, girl,
that part if you want me that person, pay pay
pay me for a cameo IM.

Speaker 6 (10:02):
And my thing is like it feels disrespectful to my
actual friends right like to our friends in real life.
So you have that access to me that other people don't,
and then when it's parasocial, it feels like I'm giving
away where that's not, you know not.

Speaker 4 (10:18):
Because my friend was doing last week, my friend to
my face to me and she said, Jordan, you have
too many friends.

Speaker 2 (10:22):
And just yeah, and that's why you're always hired.

Speaker 5 (10:30):
For me on this one.

Speaker 4 (10:31):
You're not too much girl, your girl anyways, because you're
thrilled you're here with us today officially off our shoes
and relaxed our feet because honestly, we need to.

Speaker 5 (10:44):
We are also close to having a ment to be.

Speaker 4 (10:46):
Some of us have been there forever, some of us
are still having its haven't ended. So who episode the
millennial meldown, which we love because honestly, we.

Speaker 5 (10:56):
Are tired a lot of the ships y'all ain't fair.
So this.

Speaker 7 (11:02):
Week we are in.

Speaker 4 (11:03):
Our feelings and what we want to talk about we
want this sposed to be one that we like. Bitch,
we're gonna do just sock one about how hard it
is you feel like you've done all the right things
and still be punished for it, and how just like wow,
the world is right now.

Speaker 5 (11:18):
So we are shut off for a week like we
typically do with our girl. Give your grandmace, she camble
her flowers and are still.

Speaker 7 (11:27):
Here.

Speaker 6 (11:28):
Yes, Tsha, listen as any time as an editor, I
have heard these two lovely individuals big and plead Tsha.

Speaker 3 (11:40):
If you listen to this, you need to be on.

Speaker 6 (11:42):
This show has reverenced us day one, and I reverenced
you every week by playing still here as I edit
the segment. So like your spinds are right here with
at home.

Speaker 3 (11:52):
You need to we keep you paid.

Speaker 4 (11:55):
I listen, Give give Chris a break from hearing us
talk about you, and come on the show.

Speaker 3 (12:01):
Come on the show.

Speaker 5 (12:04):
Anyway, So we go. I'm the age or millennial question.

Speaker 4 (12:09):
What's something that you never thought you'd have to overcome
being a millennial in this time?

Speaker 5 (12:15):
Now, I'm gonna pass.

Speaker 4 (12:16):
The John first and then the Christian Now was falling
because I don't have time to think about mine because
I am overwhelmed.

Speaker 2 (12:21):
So John, yeah, I put in the notes.

Speaker 1 (12:26):
So I think for me, I never thought we'd be
back in a place where people would be openly as racist, sexist,
and homophobic.

Speaker 2 (12:34):
Like I knew it was, like I've known ever since.

Speaker 1 (12:37):
I don't want to be dumb and think, oh, we
we're ever gonna get to a place where it's gonna
go away. Like I know for a fact that people
are innately America's built on all of this terrible stuff, right,
So we knew it. But I'm thinking to myself, like
by the time I was an actual adult, I saw
Obama get elected. Right, I was there when Obama got elected.
So in my head, I'm thinking, okay, progress, Right, we're

(13:00):
getting to a place now where we're allowing black people
to actually be able to lead this country.

Speaker 2 (13:05):
You know, people are saying, oh, you know, there are
all of these.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
Things that we're starting to you know, pop up, and
we're starting to see we're starting to see queer marriage
be okay, and there's all these things that are happening.
So I'm thinking in my mind, okay, well, hopefully in
my time, right, my parents and my parents' parents went
through all of this shit, you know, they marched. They
were the ones doing all of the hard work, you know,
to try to give me the liberation I deserve. You know,
at least I'll get to see some of it. And

(13:29):
it just it feels like we are further and further
and further from it now, and I just, I guess,
you know, even just being back to a place, you know,
when I graduated from college, I was in I don't
know if we equate two thousand and seven or two
thousand and eight as a recession, but I remember graduating
from college in two thousand and seven slash two thousand
and eight. I graduated in the fall of two thousand

(13:50):
and fall of two thousand and seven, and it just
like the economy was trash, Like people were losing homes,
people had lost their jobs. So it's like to like
be right back there again, to be looking around and
seeing kind of like all of the same things that
we saw I saw then, it's just it just gets frustrating.
It's just it's it's really really frustrating to feel like

(14:10):
as a millennial that we're constantly in like the space
and this place of peril. Every time we look up.
It's like we'll get a little bit of good, but
we always have to deal with a whole bunch of bad.

Speaker 2 (14:20):
And I think that's just for me. I think that's
what I'm over it.

Speaker 1 (14:23):
Like I'm like, that's what I'm like, I'm sitting with
and I've been over and you know, when you talk
about millennial meltdown, that's the frustration that I have is
literally just feeling like we're never going to get out
of this place where white people can just acknowledge the
fact that black people are smart, educated, well versed.

Speaker 2 (14:40):
That we that we have the sauce. Right, we've had
the sauce.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
Y'all continue to want to take the sauce and yet,
you know, and then blame us for our you know,
blame us for the oppression that we face.

Speaker 2 (14:52):
It's just it's old. It's just old, and I'm just
over it. What about you? What about y'all? That's what
I call it.

Speaker 3 (15:00):
But that's Okaya caught that until I was even.

Speaker 6 (15:04):
You know, for me as a millennial, like I never
thought I had to deal with running to the bathroom
so much. And I know we being serious and this
is like award winning podcast. Yes, we want to talk
about like having to pee everywhere, Like my bladder was
so mature in my twenties and then I turned thirty

(15:26):
and there is a bathroom nowhere near me.

Speaker 3 (15:28):
Ever there is. I have never ran so much. I
have never sprinted. I don't run.

Speaker 6 (15:35):
Okay, you know we we those girls, We think ahead. Okay,
there is always got a pee. Yeah, yeah, people are
leave the house. My mama raised me right, Okay, anywhere
where there's no bathroom and there goes the black. I
just want to know, as a millennial, why this is
my struggle? Why am I waking up in the middle

(15:57):
of the night. Twice?

Speaker 3 (16:00):
It was twice.

Speaker 1 (16:01):
So I lay in the bed and I do that
one eye of like really want to get up, because
if I get up, I know it's going to be
hell to go back to sleep, and so I just
will like lay there, pretend like I don't have to go,
and then eventually I just go back to sleep.

Speaker 6 (16:14):
But my god, I feel that I feel you know,
you know who gets me. So I have the TV
on that night and we watched Golden Girls. We go
to sleep the Golden Girls and wake up the Fraser
don't ask, we old, Okay, So if I if I
wake up in the middle of the night and I
see that white man Kelsey Grammar. I'm like, Okay, it's
time to go to the bathroom because the TV has

(16:36):
changed Golden Girls. Yeah, I see Rose, Dorothy, Blanche or Sophia.

Speaker 3 (16:41):
It's a problem. Okay, Yeah, it's about to be up now.
The water is flowing, the legis has broken.

Speaker 6 (16:48):
Oh well, I don't think we can say that, but like, yeah,
like things happened, and I just want to know why
this is my struggle.

Speaker 2 (16:54):
Yeah, because we get no because we literally are old.

Speaker 6 (16:57):
We are Nobody told us this. Nobody warned us about
using the bathroom properly, or.

Speaker 1 (17:03):
The fact that like sometimes you just be walking and
you jolt because.

Speaker 6 (17:16):
Yah yah day I woke up and my knee was
hurting for no reason, no reason.

Speaker 3 (17:22):
I did nothing.

Speaker 7 (17:24):
Mm hmm.

Speaker 1 (17:24):
Every time, it'll do it every time. I've been dealing
with my syatic nerve for almost three weeks. Can't figure
out what to do to get her to stop acting up.
I've done yoga, I got a shot, I'm taking roboxing,
I'm taking Tyler n All, I am taking.

Speaker 2 (17:38):
Ebsence salt baths.

Speaker 1 (17:39):
I've done it all and I still can't get this
sciatic nerve to stop bothering me.

Speaker 3 (17:42):
It is I don't even know where she lives, to
be honest, like it hurts, and it just I.

Speaker 5 (17:50):
Don't even know.

Speaker 6 (17:52):
Am getting jumped right now, speak y'all like I every day,
I am millennially. Now I'm sorry, I'm having an I
have to give up salt, y'all. That's that's the level
of thirty you got, sugar.

Speaker 3 (18:07):
I'm next.

Speaker 2 (18:07):
Had to give straight up sugar, had to give it up.

Speaker 3 (18:10):
Sugar isn't everything, literally, real isn't everything.

Speaker 5 (18:13):
It's not everything. Wow, Okay, So I would say for myself,
just like.

Speaker 4 (18:21):
The day and night realization of how much I don't
want to leave my house past ten pm?

Speaker 2 (18:27):
Real, real, real.

Speaker 5 (18:30):
I heard it over come.

Speaker 4 (18:31):
Because because like some of my friends are not yet thirty.
They're like, you're like like thirty. When you're at thirty,
you're in this age like your friends are older and
they're also younger, like twenty six, twenty seven, and then
the type is to be going out and they'll they'll
pregame at ten pm and then head over eleven thirty.
And like, I'm a type where you can't ask me
to come over at ten PM. No, I have to

(18:51):
be out of my house by nine, and if we're
going out, you can't have me in the house. Still,
you can't have me the pregame till lovely. We need
to be on the en route to the bar. I
just if you in a pregame teven thirty, I will
go home.

Speaker 1 (19:08):
I'm not I'm not the rent that inviting. Inviting me
out past nine pm is elder abuse. I'm sorry, I'm.

Speaker 3 (19:19):
At all is abused.

Speaker 6 (19:21):
To be honest, there is a formal need for me
to be outside my address when their going And I.

Speaker 1 (19:28):
Wanted every I wanted to be everywhere, everyone doing everything outside,
And now I just look around and I'm like, I
really just want to be up on my couch watching
Big Brother, Like I really don't.

Speaker 5 (19:39):
See yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

Speaker 6 (19:43):
The thing is like, you get to a point where
you've done things and everything is fun to be outside.
But when your rent is paid, when the house is
at a comfortable seventy seventy two, sending foe like you
know what I'm saying, there's food on the snow that

(20:03):
feels better than being in the club. That feels like
home to me.

Speaker 7 (20:06):
Literally, when I think of home, you think of a place, Yes,
with my TV on TV on CBS, Yes, CBS.

Speaker 3 (20:19):
Some all good old people program and something you know,
you know what I mean?

Speaker 5 (20:25):
Why other people? I don't know who these people are.
It's nasty. They suspensed from my booty met in the worst.

Speaker 3 (20:34):
Way, the worse.

Speaker 5 (20:38):
I become the bitch who wears earplugs now in clubs?

Speaker 2 (20:41):
Who am I ear?

Speaker 8 (20:43):
Yeah?

Speaker 6 (20:44):
Magical? Me and a six year old was watching Beyond
and it was like, you know what, both of us
get We're gonna be good tomorrow. Everybody were gonna be good.

Speaker 4 (20:54):
Okay when we leave the club and my friends are like,
what was that I hear bringing ear?

Speaker 5 (21:00):
I'm I'm good.

Speaker 2 (21:03):
Taking care of your ear.

Speaker 4 (21:04):
But yeah, yeah, and and and and what I will
say is these kids we hungover. Now I now, I
said the cat. I chucked my glass of water. But
I get home and I my two little piece of
time when I get into bed.

Speaker 3 (21:20):
You won't do this.

Speaker 5 (21:20):
Catch you the next day feeling up.

Speaker 3 (21:24):
I am.

Speaker 6 (21:25):
I am sober. But the doll only has had a
hangover like twice in his life. Why because I have parents. Listen,
you have to be trained right for stuff like that.
And I was trained by thirty, you got to be
out of it. So here she is on a protein
shaped the other day and I was like, this is
too much sugar for me. Let me go sit down.

(21:45):
You know I get lightheaded when it goes straight to
your brain.

Speaker 5 (21:48):
Yeah, we're done, We're done. We're done.

Speaker 6 (21:51):
Millenniums going through it in the car, clapping right now
because way the word yeah, way to work.

Speaker 5 (22:02):
Yeah, we'll get something, y'all.

Speaker 4 (22:04):
If it was like Groundhome Day, everything of the years,
bills are always due, We're gonna do a quick break
and come back with this week's category is more and
just as that.

Speaker 2 (22:21):
All right, y'all.

Speaker 1 (22:22):
So to kick off this week's category is, since we
are in our millennial meltdown phase, we are entertaining our
guests with another round of A I T A also
known as am I the Asshole. But mainly we are
gonna be talking about things that impact millennials. And so
I thought this would just be fun of like conversation

(22:42):
because we have had some very very heavy conversations the
last couple of weeks, and I just wanted to do
something really fun. And y'all seem to be very like
y'all respond to this and y'all love it. So we're
gonna do a couple of those. We're gonna talk through
our thoughts on them, and then yeah, if we if
y'all have thoughts as well, and y'all want to be
included in the conversation, y'all know what to do. Email
us at Blackfatfempod at gmail dot com. So with that

(23:03):
being said, I'm gonna start with mine, then we're gonna
jump to you, Chris, and then we'll go ahead and
we'll close with yours, Joho, and then yeah, that that
is where we will be, all right. So mine reads
it says I just wanted my so again, am I
the asshole mind says I just wanted my boss to
stop making snide remarks about millennials because his behavior was

(23:26):
really bringing morale down from many of us younger employees.
I looked up the A D E A and researched
how E E O C enforces age discrimination.

Speaker 3 (23:38):
You know what you know? Thats right? Okay?

Speaker 2 (23:43):
Yea Mama said, you're not gonna play come on.

Speaker 5 (23:46):
Idea, Yes, idea, And.

Speaker 1 (23:50):
Unfortunately, reverse age discrimination against people less than forty years
of age is not unlawful, at least at the federal
level see look at let us learn and stuff as
we do this. There are a handful of states that
prohibit age discrimination, including reverse age discrimination, but we're not
in those states. My boss makes fun of millennials regularly.

(24:11):
He spouts the usual stereotypes about us, and has a
real issue with work life balance priorities that many people
in our generation value.

Speaker 2 (24:20):
This has gotten so out of.

Speaker 1 (24:22):
Hand that some people have feared asking for paternity leave
f absolutely not or time off for fear of retaliation.
Since we're not in protected class per se. I thought
maybe I can ask HR for assistance or how to
prevent my boss from acting so hostile towards the younger
generation of workers, because his behavior is really unacceptable. So

(24:44):
last week I went to HR and made a confidential
report with specific instances where my boss's toxic attitude towards
millennials has created difficult workplace conditions for us. I just
wanted them to tell my boss to stop generalizing millennials
and treating us poorly simply because we because of our age.
This week I found out there is a full blown investigation.

(25:04):
I know that's right, and some of my coworkers have
already been summoned for interview by HR. I think I
made the problem bigger for my boss than I had intention.
But I noticed he has not said a single bad
thing about millennials, which is highly unusual.

Speaker 2 (25:19):
Am I the asshole for.

Speaker 1 (25:20):
Creating the drama for my boss and everyone at work
over my boss's attitude towards millennials?

Speaker 2 (25:27):
What are your thoughts?

Speaker 4 (25:28):
Okay, first, let me let's first lay some ground rules here.
Let's first lead some context. The ad e A is
age discrimination and an employment act that is an act
against e discrimination, and the EEOC is e Equal Employment
Opportunity Commission. So they researched both of these acronym agencies

(25:55):
to understand what their rights were. Yeah, they have no
rights because for years old, which I had no idea,
which is interesting.

Speaker 5 (26:02):
At her level, I also wonder, I do wonder if
they have state stuff, but if their state has says
something differently. Okay, real talk. I don't think that the asshole.

Speaker 4 (26:13):
Like, first of all, let's HR is never on your side. Like,
let's let's talk about it. HR is never on your
side girl. HR is there for one reason why women
is only to make sure I do not know that
means that your boss is the boss isn't only safe,
but most likely they are because.

Speaker 5 (26:32):
They're the ones who hold the power.

Speaker 4 (26:33):
But like she has, it's our HR is not there
for you, girl, So yes, is it a bigger problem
than it was before?

Speaker 5 (26:40):
Yes?

Speaker 4 (26:41):
Also, like that's also the HR. They escalated it. You
came with you came with it, you came with the case.
They say, we got the case the case, Like, I
don't know what you thought was Like when you tell HR,
you trigger a series of it's a series of actions
that have to happen afterwards.

Speaker 5 (26:59):
So part of me is like, did you not know
about this?

Speaker 3 (27:01):
Girl?

Speaker 5 (27:02):
Like that's when you call HR.

Speaker 3 (27:04):
I don't think.

Speaker 4 (27:05):
I don't think the asshole one because you're about a stop.
So did you not get what you wanted? It sounds
like you go what you want and now and not
and you're surprised about it, which I know saying her personally,
I think it's a bigger problem. Yes, But also if
your boss is an asshole, he man need to go
Like you funk around, you find out, don't do clown

(27:29):
ship and be mount on the circus comes to town.

Speaker 5 (27:30):
That's all I gotta say. Person, That's that's my thoughts.

Speaker 6 (27:34):
I agree, go ahead, I have a completely different perspective.

Speaker 5 (27:39):
Are the asshole?

Speaker 6 (27:41):
No, I don't think she's the asshole. They're the asshole.
I think you're incompetent. Listen, what you should be focusing
on is how to get this back at this boomer. Okay,
they're hidden splendor in the breakroom. You should have changed
all the decaf to caffeine. You could have done with
this other than HR. You know, lock all the accessible

(28:04):
handicap spots. There are ways that you could have gotten
back at them. But I feel as though if you
had to go to HR, you had to sit there
and you had to be like Mariah Carey and precious
in that office. Then you had to talk to somebody
to get your check, and that's what you did.

Speaker 3 (28:19):
There's no assholes in it.

Speaker 6 (28:21):
What you need retaliation, figure out what pharmacy they We'll
talk to DM DM.

Speaker 9 (28:27):
Yes, you know, I get you fired wrong podcast, Lord
Jesus is gonna get them.

Speaker 1 (28:39):
No, it's so sometimes you don't have to. You know,
sometimes getting even is necessary, and I agree, like there
are there are times where you literally gotta Sometimes you
got to say what needs to be said and do
what you gotta.

Speaker 3 (28:49):
Do and interest.

Speaker 4 (28:52):
That far, that far, even in the streets, I would
even in the workplace, is different from me.

Speaker 6 (28:57):
But given nobody has to know what you don't do it,
you know, yeah, yeah, don't do it for the camera.

Speaker 1 (29:07):
Don't do it for the cameras. But I definitely don't
think you're an asshole. I think, so I will say,
you know, and again, this is just who I am
by nature. I think this is an important case of you.
You stood up for yourself, and I think a lot
of millennials are so afraid we've been conditioned and the
like not to not to be the one that's constantly serious. Right,
I agree, Like I think it's a lot of this
is funny, but a lot of this is exactly why

(29:28):
I think millennials feel the way that they do. I
feel many millennials feel like we have to take what
life and what society has given us because that's what
our parents did, that's what our parents' parents did. And
in this case, you basically said, you know, no, Boomer like,
you're not gonna come in here and talk down to me,
or talk down to all of us and just expect
me to be okay with it. And so I don't
think you're an asshole. I think what you did is

(29:49):
you stood up for yourself, and now he's gonna he
or she or they or whoever this person is is
gonna have to feel the repercussions of you standing up
for yourself. So I guess that's just my you know,
my PC way of saying, like, we all have the
right to stand up for ourselves. And if you are
an elderly if you are an elderly person and you
feel like this, like oh, you're being attacked, you know,
in this day and age, because we're constantly talking about

(30:11):
what boomers and what people above us are saying about
us as millennials, then you need to take a step
back to and check your privilege and just be like, well,
what's making us or making millennials or folks who are
younger feel the way that they do.

Speaker 2 (30:23):
Yeah, but that's my take.

Speaker 6 (30:24):
On I don't understand why older generations act like they
didn't create the generation that comes after. Right, But I'm like,
I have ensuing so much boomer aggression and yep, you
know what I'm saying, and it's like, why are you
I'm what you raised me to be, right, My Mama
and me had a conversation the other day about like
being a car booty is what I was called as

(30:45):
a kid, where you just like always wanted to be
in the car. And I was like, girl, you made
me that way, like right, go anywhere you were allowed
because you're of my safety, which I appreciate, but you
can't turn the story thirty years later, it's seems like
it was a problem.

Speaker 3 (31:02):
So just sometimes that.

Speaker 6 (31:03):
That aggression just feels so misplaced, especially when I'm finding
myself doing it to like gen z Ers or like
the the little crumb snatches we got now, Like it
just feels like why am I attacking you?

Speaker 4 (31:15):
But you know, there are there are moments in which
I'm like, I get while my parents were upset with
me on this thing, right where I get that an
actual just to check myself. Like the whole point for
me a parenthood is that I raised kids to be freer,
freer than I was. And I don't think my parents
got that memo, but like, okay, that's okay, Like same

(31:40):
Chris me and all discussions and She's like like where
where where you get to just a smart mouth?

Speaker 5 (31:46):
And I'm like, have you not met yourself girl.

Speaker 4 (31:48):
Hello, right, like you like like I'm not like I'm
not saying that I could not be, like like I yes,
I should be maybe better about my mouth, but like
I'm exactly, I'm exactly who who you bridging and b
who says product are not? Probably not because because because
my mouth is smart girl, Like also you have smart

(32:08):
mouth is in this world? This is w trying to
tear you down.

Speaker 1 (32:10):
But right, And that's the thing that I want to
get at, Like a lot of our parents have disclosed
to us in different situations and stuff that they kind
of dealt with and that they just sat on and
it's like, well, why didn't you speak up for yourself?

Speaker 6 (32:24):
And we were the kids to be like that, like
I would never like I wouldn't be like that, and
then now we're not and we're getting And I think
it's a little bit about breaking a mold too. I
think our parents felt like the mold that they were
in kept them safe enough to keep living. And I
think they look at us sometimes like why are you marching?

Speaker 3 (32:42):
Why are you protesting?

Speaker 6 (32:44):
And it's like, because I came from two parents that
were in between the protest generations, so like.

Speaker 3 (32:50):
You know, they didn't necessarily protest.

Speaker 6 (32:51):
They are other ways of being a part and being
a black culture. Whereas like when we did Ferguson and
we did all those like marches and stuff and protests,
and it's like they just couldn't understand why I'm outside,
Why are you outside?

Speaker 3 (33:03):
What are you doing? They could get you? And then
I'm like they can get all of us.

Speaker 6 (33:06):
Right, and they're still gonna get and they are anyway,
And it turned into what it turns into now.

Speaker 4 (33:12):
Like I definitely like our parents generation was raised like
there's safety and silence, and like, girl that those anyways,
the silence will not help me at all. I think
we understand, like like there she is no safety at
all and we and so we have to speak and
act and move to make to make change. And I wish, Yeah,
I definitely like this talentis my mom is like I

(33:34):
like like she was how she fears my safety And
I'm like, girl, like I like I remes being shot
punched in the face walking on walking on the street.

Speaker 5 (33:42):
Where I live.

Speaker 4 (33:42):
I live in a gay ass area. I still get
gay bash like it's it's I can't hide in some things.
I can't hide things inside.

Speaker 6 (33:50):
So and These are conversations that need to be had.
Because I had a conversation with my mom recently about
saying be safe all the time, about why are you like.

Speaker 3 (34:00):
Me?

Speaker 6 (34:00):
And my partner went somewhere and she was like like,
why are you there? And I'm like, Hey, I'm grown,
don't do b I'm not doing anything dangerous. What you're
trying to say is that you're concerned and you want
to make sure that I am safe. What you're saying
to me is that you need to worry about your safety.
And as a black man, that's two separate messages. And

(34:22):
to like have her had that conversation with her, like
I understand that you're as a mother concern for my
safety and as all the things that we go through,
But you're telling me to walk in fear teaching, and
that's not how I can move through this world. You know,
I walk on LA streets every single day. There are
crackheads murders, but there are mothers, there are children, there

(34:45):
are people. Everybody's in this world together, and I can't
walk in fear, you know. Now, my mama taught me
not to be stupid either.

Speaker 3 (34:52):
You know, you.

Speaker 5 (34:58):
Don't put yourself in danger.

Speaker 1 (35:00):
One thing about millennials. We gonna mind our business. Tell
you right now, I have seen some stuff. I said,
I wonder if I stuff No, girl, keep driving.

Speaker 3 (35:07):
Let me tell you something.

Speaker 6 (35:08):
I got a call to that person that was drowning
in the husband that time when RuPaul said, all I
could do was pray. That's very ill. Go to God
for you, Honey. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna drop
in nothing. I'm not and I'm gonna.

Speaker 8 (35:21):
I'm not gonna do it taking me down.

Speaker 6 (35:26):
I was in a seed for you, as they used
to say, Well we used to all that's gonna make sense.

Speaker 3 (35:30):
I'm in a seed for you. But I can't do
nothing else.

Speaker 2 (35:34):
Baby, that's yeah. I got to look. Look, did you
want to go to yours next?

Speaker 3 (35:41):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (35:41):
Yeah, okay, go ahead, or Chris, Chris.

Speaker 6 (35:46):
Let me go, because I don't know this might be
off topic. So that's what I've been about there, Okay,
Hi there. I wish I really didn't have to make
this post, but here goes.

Speaker 5 (35:56):
So.

Speaker 3 (35:57):
Me and my husband have been happily married for about
sixteen years. Give us.

Speaker 6 (36:00):
We both have stable careers, good family, and are fairly
fortunate despite the cost of living.

Speaker 3 (36:07):
In the UK right now.

Speaker 6 (36:08):
We have two boys fifteen and ten, and up until
this Sunday, we thought we had it pretty good. We
argue sometimes, of course, but never it's never gotten too bad.
We have a pretty decent sex life with some exploration,
but I won't get into that.

Speaker 5 (36:24):
Oh you do it now.

Speaker 3 (36:28):
This is where we start.

Speaker 6 (36:29):
Stop because this is this is okay? Long, Long and
Short is on Sunday. Just after I dropped off our
boys at their friends, my husband asked me if I
hold on, let me reset that because I'm reading like fantation.

Speaker 3 (36:48):
Leave that in there. Long and Short is on Sunday.

Speaker 6 (36:51):
Just after I dropped off our boys, my husband asked
me if we had the house alone, and more importantly,
do I have a minute?

Speaker 3 (36:58):
And I say yes.

Speaker 6 (36:59):
He said me down and then got out his printed
poster for some sort of orgy. And it started explaining
to me that this is the concept of a gaycation.
I heard of this, I heard this is where the
church people start high. I've heard of this. I've heard
of this go off. How is it that straight men

(37:20):
go somewhere with the son and booze and become gay
for a duration of the trip. But that's fine because
it doesn't actually count because what happens on the gay cation,
I've heard of this. I was completely silent and mortified,
even more so when he said he was looking into
the trip to Abiza with his brother in law, his

(37:43):
sister's husband to experience it for himself.

Speaker 3 (37:47):
I just want to say, start moaning.

Speaker 6 (37:51):
When he finally let me speak, I just said, I
need for him to be clear with me.

Speaker 3 (37:55):
Is you gay? Because if yes, that's okay.

Speaker 6 (37:59):
You know what I mean, It's okay, it's okay, but
we need to figure out what happens going forward.

Speaker 3 (38:04):
I didn't let myself get angry upset.

Speaker 6 (38:07):
I was just stunned, you know, like, oh my god.

Speaker 3 (38:14):
Yeah, I'm just stunned.

Speaker 6 (38:16):
And he's swore up and now how he's not gay,
he's one hundred percent attracted to women, and of course
still loves me and our boys. Because that's what you're saying.
I said, well, do you think you're by and he
got fairy defensive, saying how I need to drop the
accusations and that this is the beauty of the gay

(38:37):
cation who and see, people don't stay at people.

Speaker 3 (38:42):
That's the difference.

Speaker 6 (38:43):
This allowed that straight man to experience the gayness without
actually being gay, and it's like going to the aquarium.

Speaker 2 (38:53):
Wait, okay, so.

Speaker 3 (38:54):
Let's put a pin there.

Speaker 6 (38:57):
So imagine you're in a head well, you're in a
committed situation.

Speaker 3 (39:02):
Let's just go there because it ain't got to be.

Speaker 6 (39:05):
And your partner comes to you as like I want
to go on a gay cashia where me having whatever
happens doesn't count because you know it's vacation.

Speaker 3 (39:14):
How would y'all?

Speaker 1 (39:16):
Yeah, So I know there's so much more to this story,
but what I will say is my initial thing is
and this is awesome. This is a millennial thing, as
much as you may feel like it's not. I mean,
I think there is this idea about freedom to explore
one's identity and sexuality and being open with your partner.
But I think that there's a fine line between saying
I want to go do this thing and it not

(39:38):
count versus me saying I want to be open with
you about exploring elements of who I am and my sexuality.
And that's the thing I think is a beautiful about
a loving relationship. Right, if you love your partner enough,
if your partner respects you enough, you should be able
to sit down with them and say, look, this is
a part of me, like I always think about it.

Speaker 2 (39:54):
I'll say this I think about.

Speaker 1 (39:56):
I know, I don't know if I don't know them
per se, but I know of a couple where the
you know, the husband is trying the husband the wife
now is trans and their wife stayed with them, right,
and they said, I love my partner enough to know
that my partner has changed in our relationship and I

(40:18):
still love them for who they are, so I want
to stay with them and I respect that, right. So
kind of coming back to this, right, like, I just
feel like this is I don't know, it's almost a
slap to the face of your partner, right, and the
idea of you saying, oh, I'm going to go do
this thing and you're supposed to be okay with it,
but we've not talked about I don't know.

Speaker 2 (40:39):
I don't know. I just I have I have thoughts.
I have thoughts. What about you all?

Speaker 3 (40:46):
I'm also law and order music here, right, Benson.

Speaker 6 (40:53):
I just I'm tired of gavia used as the excuse
for somebody to do something that they could sit and
talk today partner about.

Speaker 3 (41:02):
You know what I mean?

Speaker 6 (41:03):
I want to go on a gay casion or I
want to do this and oh it's not really gay.
It's just not that. It's like it's such a throw
a rock and hide your hair moment. Even for like DL,
people are like, we know, we don't know, but we know, Yo,
there is butt juices going to be exchanged somewhere in

(41:23):
the sycenario.

Speaker 3 (41:24):
But if not, I just think you need to be honest.

Speaker 6 (41:27):
With your wife. But right, right, if you don't think
it can, because see, the thing is definition to people.
People have fallen so far into semantics that it's like, well,
this doesn't mean this because I'm not saying the words.
So even if I put his situation in my situation,
then none of us are having a situationship, right, But yeah,

(41:48):
it's just I don't It's not a reason I don't
go to jail. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 5 (41:57):
Okay.

Speaker 4 (41:58):
So it's also in the commercial where the song it
is like Staycations all I ever wanted. It's the only
most gecations, gay cations all I ever wanted.

Speaker 5 (42:12):
So I feel like this, like.

Speaker 4 (42:14):
It's sad and it's comical because he tries to defend
it to her like and but the defending the defense
is very it's very much like giving, like freaking, like
Steve Irwin start like like crook, you won't see how
the gay male lives and the first is the first
straight men and go on the gacation to see. But

(42:35):
he must find himself mind, body, and soul. The gacation
will be destroyed. I'm just like, what is it? Like
what is this like animal plant type ship, like you're
gonna go observe animal plan observer but also like but
also like, ugh, I must spend myself mind, body, and soul.
Like if I do it or be destroyed, destroyed is crazy? Like, yeah,

(42:56):
destroyed is a while. Do it or be destroyed is wild? Wait,
that's what he's that's what he says, Like he says,
he says it's simply impossible for men to resist and
he must forget himself mind, body, and soul to the
gay cation and be destroyed and then like and then
like like and then and then he says, like shamming
this all the time, and like listen, and I think
your point is very this is very millennial because yes,

(43:19):
many couples of the couples I think are like finally
says to becoming a more open conversation where they can
discuss what they actually may want from each other sexually.
And I think that's totally like, I think that's actually great,
right and I and I appreciate that. She his wife
even says like, it's okay, we can just we can
discuss it, we can find out and like all like
all that comes down to is like, no, he's the

(43:40):
asshole because he isn't honest with her, like she Lily
is giving you an out like do you think you're gay?

Speaker 5 (43:45):
Do you think you're by? And then like I.

Speaker 4 (43:46):
Would never be but he's like I would never be by,
but I would go and fuck a guy on gay
cation because I have to girl just like like like
and like sexual fluid, we get that fluid. So like
Jess says, hey, babe, I think I might be fo.
I would love to go on this trip to explore
that and likely tell me what you think about it,

(44:07):
And she could be like, no, no, it's not not
for me, babes, or she's like what like do your thing,
I'll be hear me, get back and we can discuss
again and then like and then like and then like
she and then like she like and then then you
know she's like, let's just take up for now.

Speaker 2 (44:26):
Not table it.

Speaker 4 (44:27):
And then and then and he's like he's like the
story over. He's like not going to work. He's he's
going too ill. He's a straw. And it's like vibes
just say like like just say you want the dick
and call that a good day. It's okay, yeah, es,
but right, but you have.

Speaker 1 (44:44):
To be okay, right, and you have to be okay
with the fact that your partner is not okay with that.

Speaker 10 (44:48):
That's the thing because because now you there's no way
you can go into this and not think like my
marriage might be ruined up to this, Like there's no
way you could say, let me bring this up to
my wife of sixteen years I've never discussed as whatever whatsoever.

Speaker 5 (45:03):
And you're thinking like it'll be okay, Like like come on,
come on, work to me.

Speaker 6 (45:11):
I feel like you're playing with consent there, because telling
me that you're going on a gaycation, I'm supposed to
believe you, and you go and you get you get
you know, Hulu, you're on the sand in the beach
and you're getting your life cool. If you're going to
fuck somebody else, that's playing with cheated because and now
like you're bringing that home to me.

Speaker 3 (45:31):
Plus, it's interesting that you're going.

Speaker 6 (45:33):
To gacation but not want to be considered by But
then you're doing everything disrespectful to anything of the game.

Speaker 5 (45:41):
Also, he never asked for perre meestion. He's just told me.

Speaker 2 (45:45):
He said, he's gone.

Speaker 8 (45:47):
I'm looking at will I'm looking into it. I want
to see you, would like to said literary, like that's.

Speaker 6 (46:00):
Sit down, that's fine, Like she'd like, yes, want you
with kids, with children, with the life, with all types
of other stuff going on. I expected to just be
here for your men TV Like I'm not doing that.

Speaker 5 (46:15):
This is the thing.

Speaker 4 (46:16):
If I have a partner in my life he wants
to cheat, talk to me about it. Because you won't
do is make me look dumb because I have to
explain to you. I have to explain to our kids.
I have to tell our kids about myself. Thought he's
not here because he's out here fucking other guys.

Speaker 1 (46:33):
No, No, if you, if you, if you.

Speaker 5 (46:37):
Want to che just let me know, just say hey,
I want to tell the people.

Speaker 1 (46:40):
Hey girl, great, I would like, what do they call
them express passes?

Speaker 2 (46:45):
I'm like a hall past yeah, I would like me too.

Speaker 3 (46:53):
Girl, I would like and honestly, no shame. That's about
sound graphics.

Speaker 6 (46:58):
But all like the yell man, if you talk to
your girl and tell them that you might want a
little something in your booty hole, they probably won't run away.
At this point that yeah, ass and talk about it
and it's it's normalizing your home.

Speaker 3 (47:17):
It is what it is.

Speaker 6 (47:18):
But you going through the hoop at your big age
and wise.

Speaker 4 (47:23):
Sixteen years so you're at least in your thirties, like, yeah,
your thirties, you have two kids, you if not your forties,
come on anyways, And.

Speaker 1 (47:32):
I want to be clear that we're not shaming him.
I think it's like, yes, please explore who you are.
Who you are, well, I'm I mean, that's what I
want to make clear, because how you handle the feedback
and people saying, oh, you're being biphobic and all that,
that is not what I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (47:50):
Please, it's for who you are.

Speaker 1 (47:52):
But if you are taking someone else along the ride
with you, please be open to them as well, like
don't just look you said, don't just bring it to
them and be like, oh, yeah, this is what I'm doing.
Have conversations with them and say, hey, these are the
things that I'm thinking, These are the things I'm interested in.
Is this something that we can explore together?

Speaker 3 (48:09):
Right?

Speaker 1 (48:10):
Yeah, that's what I would really like. That's what to
me feels better, like.

Speaker 4 (48:14):
Said and elementary girl, don't care if you lie, but
but you got but you got to let me know.

Speaker 3 (48:19):
Like.

Speaker 6 (48:21):
On the vote, okay, right, like survivor if we are
going to tribal and you done had a whole plan,
you ain't told me about it.

Speaker 3 (48:29):
How I'm spposed to be on your side?

Speaker 6 (48:31):
Okay, supposed and you really want to be with a dude,
but yeah, you haven't all this. How I'm supposed to
be on your side or have any choice in it?

Speaker 3 (48:39):
You know what I mean? How am I supposed to support?

Speaker 6 (48:42):
Support me, support, get the support me help you? Yeah,
I'm just yes, YEA long story short. She ended up
confronting and you know, they got into it. Now my thing, but.

Speaker 5 (48:57):
She said, you align as child? Still what you mean.

Speaker 3 (49:03):
Does?

Speaker 6 (49:03):
She ended up going into the law and basically be
because obviously the brother in law was the other person
trying to go in the law or the sistem, and
the system was like you a lion as most people do. Now,
I want to bring a read to her with somebody
tell you something that is as close to you and

(49:25):
it just sounds a bit outrageous. You might need to
listen before reacting. At your age, at our age, at
the ages at anybody over six months, you need to
be thinking before you react, because you amen not know
you anybody could be in this world, and it is
it is a shame that she had that reaction.

Speaker 3 (49:47):
It's a shame that OG had to defend her, him
and the.

Speaker 6 (49:50):
Brother in law just to not have it be a
homophobic moment and just just guy, yeah, folk, please open
your eyes times because it's really one of those situations
where you will sit there and drag somebody and head
and you're alway gonna have to come back.

Speaker 4 (50:06):
Humble By said that the sister.

Speaker 5 (50:10):
The sister did call back and apologize, which is like, good.

Speaker 4 (50:14):
For you, girl, but next time, like, don't like, don't
come for me for giving information that you needed to know.

Speaker 2 (50:20):
Girl, I was trying to help you.

Speaker 5 (50:22):
I'm saying, I'm trying someone bitch, calm down.

Speaker 2 (50:25):
Yeah.

Speaker 5 (50:26):
Anyway, that was a wild one.

Speaker 4 (50:27):
That was wild, so so this one and they say, mom,
so I'm gonna. I'm gonna assume they're assume that the
proper English, soonna try in my little dialect. I had
been with my husband for three years, married a year.
We have a great relationship, and whilst we certainly had
disagreements over the years, we've always been understanding of each

(50:47):
other's opinions sash Pov, even if we don't agree. The
only thing that seems to be assumbling blocking this for
God is a topic of kids. Ambivalent to the idea
of kids. I love kids and being an aunt to
my nieces and nephews, but don't have this burning desire
to children of my own. I'm not completely against it

(51:08):
if my husband really wants to start a family, but
I'd like to be able to give a child back
to the parent after we've had our fun. That's a
period I think I'd actually be a good mum. But
it's not just it's just not an aspiration of mine.
That's been that we discussed early on in our relationship
and revisited when we got engaged, and at no point
did he.

Speaker 5 (51:25):
Have an issue with this.

Speaker 4 (51:27):
But recently, while over for dinner with my in laws,
my mother in law asked me about when we start trying,
and we did a joke about us as nearly words,
doing a lot of trying without hoping for any success.

Speaker 5 (51:37):
How you doing?

Speaker 3 (51:38):
How you doing?

Speaker 4 (51:40):
My husband went quite quiet for the rest of the
evening and I assume the joke, But after prodding for
a while we got home, he admitted to that he
thought my stance would change as we got married.

Speaker 5 (51:52):
Ourian, I'm not completely against children.

Speaker 4 (51:55):
He feels passionate about it, but he does not think
we should bring life in this trouble without us both
being enthusiasts about it. I tried to explain that I'm
not having the urge to have children when make my
love for a child any less. But admittedly he's hurt
that I'm good with other people's kids but not jimping
for joy the thought of having our own. As I
said earlier, we're usually good at seeing each of those povs.

(52:16):
But I don't think I'm in the wrong for how
I feel and how he's just a fie and he
feels just fined, and how he feels.

Speaker 5 (52:23):
I don't know if I'm.

Speaker 4 (52:23):
So suck in my way as I'm not taking his
emotions and consideration, or if he's a reacting so I'd
throw some so I lost my gentle opinions.

Speaker 5 (52:30):
Am are the asshole and memcation.

Speaker 4 (52:34):
We agree in both talks, would that we would not
try to get pregnant because I'm on both control period.

Speaker 5 (52:40):
But if if it happened, we will not terminate. Okay,
the chips.

Speaker 4 (52:44):
Fall as they may regarding kids by just we're just
having kids for him, but apparently not enough post nuptials.

Speaker 5 (52:52):
Also to the least. Okay, wherever, No, you're at the asshole.

Speaker 4 (52:59):
Like, first of all, I just first does not think
any any just any especially have to want to do
with her body like she is and and like and
what well, the first thing is she said, I'm not
against kids, I just don't like want them, and like
there are many people who don't want kids that have

(53:21):
kids and are amazing parents and like love their kids.

Speaker 1 (53:24):
I know I'd be a great I know i'd be
a fantastic father, but I don't want kids.

Speaker 5 (53:30):
I don't like like.

Speaker 4 (53:31):
Like like and this is where this is something where
I feel like being queer as of privilege to me
because I'm like I have I have the priplets of
choice where I can choose right, there's there there there
is no oopsis for me, but like they are there,
there are there are many babies that like it was
an oopsy and the parents like love that child and
that and they're a great parents. Like she's not saying

(53:52):
she wouldn't be a great parent. She's just saying, I
don't like need to have kids. And if you agreed
on this before, like especially is that like it's that
they had a good communication that school point. He had
expectations and did not communicate them and she was cough guard.

Speaker 5 (54:07):
Now I do love, I appreciate it.

Speaker 4 (54:10):
I love but I appreciate the discuss it again and
said like if we're pregnant then like then then like
like we would terminate it.

Speaker 5 (54:16):
And I get his desire to want her.

Speaker 4 (54:18):
To be excited by it. I understand, right, Like I
get that you can you can say, hey, baby, I
wish I wish you were more through the idea of
having kids together or having kids, right, And also she's like,
I love you, I just not thought about having kids,
but I will have a kid.

Speaker 1 (54:36):
Like I still think that that's a bad idea though
I still like I I genuinely like, I just don't
believe that anyone And it's not even a male female thing.
It's not a quick like I feel like children are
such a responsibility that you need to be in it.

Speaker 2 (54:53):
Like you've got to be in it wholeheartedly.

Speaker 5 (54:55):
This is no, she won't be in it like like
like I think, like.

Speaker 2 (55:00):
I read that she's not.

Speaker 3 (55:01):
But also this is to the separate arguments.

Speaker 6 (55:05):
What she's saying is that I'm living. I have completely
separate priorities and he has. He has a priority that
we have a family, we're in love, and that's just
what it is. She's not, and that's that's the biggest
red flag between them now, the issue of should you

(55:26):
have kids and you don't want kids in a separate
issue because that's also not that's something he's putting on her.
And my issue with this in general is and always
to begin with, is the first date syndrome.

Speaker 3 (55:39):
Right, what's happened here.

Speaker 6 (55:41):
Is y'all were on your first day at whatever little
French restaurant and staring at each other's eyes, nobody to
each other at all.

Speaker 3 (55:55):
I don't want to see too much mone before we
get sue.

Speaker 6 (55:57):
But yeah, but what I mean, but but like to
the to the first day thing, like she this is
not the first time this has come up.

Speaker 4 (56:07):
Right, But when they got engaged, they also discussed it too,
like before, So I mean, I mean, like I discussed it,
discussed it a few times.

Speaker 6 (56:19):
But his response was I thought it would change over time.

Speaker 4 (56:23):
That that's the point, did he say? Because he exactly,
he and nobody he had no issue with this, But
like that's different than him saying I'm.

Speaker 6 (56:35):
At the time, he probably like passed it off like oh,
you're doing we're not thinking about I.

Speaker 1 (56:39):
Think he probably thought that her feelings would change more.
And that's something everybody. It's kind of everyone does that
in relationships. I think we sometimes don't. There there's a again,
there's there's there's the common thread. And this is something
I'm also learning as as a millennial, is you gotta
say what's on your mind. You gotta say what's on
your chest, and you can't be so afraid of constantly

(57:00):
like how people are going to respond to it. And
so in this case, I'm looking at it from the
prospect of she's saying, oh, I'm you know, if we
have kids, great, but no, girl, make a decision, you know,
do are you gonna be okay with having a child
if we have a child, or are you not, like, don't, don't,
I don't know. I have issues with her not being
because I have friends who are just on it.

Speaker 3 (57:21):
I have friends.

Speaker 1 (57:24):
I'm not having kids. I don't want kids. I don't
I'm not having them. I don't want to go through
that in my body. And I respect that like I
respect when a woman says, or a person, not even
just women, because women are not the only ones who
have kids, when a person says, I don't want to
put that kind of strain on my body or that
that kind of strain on my life. Okay, great, you're
you're you're setting a precipice to let everyone know around you,

(57:47):
all of your partners, your family, your friends. You're letting
them know, do not expect me to have children because
it's not happening. Whereas this whole game.

Speaker 2 (57:55):
Of oh maybe I don't know, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (57:58):
You're you're you're giving it feels like she's giving him
a false hope that maybe one day she could. And
so I'm not saying that she's in the wrong, but
what I'm saying is, you know, in the words of
the Bible, let you yes mean yes, and you're no
me no, I.

Speaker 6 (58:10):
Will raise a point though, because I will say, these
are again expectations he's.

Speaker 3 (58:15):
Put on her. Her story has never changed.

Speaker 6 (58:18):
Her story was that I don't want kids, and if
it happens, it happens.

Speaker 3 (58:22):
It is what it is. At the end of the day.

Speaker 6 (58:25):
Again, I'm going to work, I have other priorities. What
he's telling her is I don't want to have kids
with you if you're not fully committed to the job
of being a mother. And that's a separate thing. Like again,
that's expectation. You're completely correct in what in your statement.
But in this situation, this is again his expectations not

(58:48):
being clearly communicated. Her story has yet to change. Her
story has been my uterus is open. But at the
same time, I'm not trying to fill it up.

Speaker 2 (58:57):
I'm not trying to put it, you know, I'm.

Speaker 6 (58:58):
Not if we have it because we're having on the
productor said why I'm having birth, I'm on birth control.
But if it happens, it happens, you know. And I
think that's her her business.

Speaker 3 (59:07):
In that way.

Speaker 6 (59:08):
But what he started to do now is manipulation. What
you're starting to is tell her you I don't want
to now necessarily go through this journey with you, even
if it does happen, because you're not committed, you're not
fully in it, you don't want this, And it's like
or I mean, I'm not saying that the expectation that
is being what's being, that's where we're that's where we're

(59:30):
gonna head, you know what I mean, Because it's just
the way we are having this conversation that confusion creeps
in in a way that again, I want to be clear,
never changed her story and situation where she say I'm good.

Speaker 4 (59:45):
I do agree that they both like they both need
to be clear and should have been more clear from
from jump. Like but like if if she if she
said I don't want to have kids and he said
I'm okay with that, like then then then like yes,
like a, at some point things can change, but you
need to name for yourself, like, hey, my feelings change,
I do want kids, and like like like and like

(01:00:08):
maybe just means that the two of you aren't compatable,
but like, I think the thing is like people also
feel so like people feel so like resistant to let
things go but not serve them anymore, and like and
like like like like y'all can love each other. But
if you if you're not on the same page, like
like you can't you also can't force the page to happen,
and so like you may need to close the chapter

(01:00:29):
on the relationship and say, you know what we need
to be with other people or like like or be
really honest and truthful. And when you say I'm fine
not having kids, it's okay if we don't, or like
I want to you know, but like but like but
also I mean, I do hear your point on I
think like, yes, I think she's being a bit like

(01:00:51):
ambivalent about it. But but I but like you, I
don't know like like like like like she even like
she even she even said she even says as she's like,
I'm like, I am happy if we have kids. It's
not I'm not just having them. I'm not just having
it for him. But but but that's not like that's
not enough for like like he wants an enthusiastic yes,

(01:01:11):
and she's like, I'm fine if we have kids, and
I am I don't know, like I personally to me,
I'm Ryan clost girl. I'm like, like I don't think
I don't think I don't think she did anything wrong.

Speaker 1 (01:01:24):
Neither die neither do I. I don't think she's in the
wrong here. I think I have is chues with him.

Speaker 6 (01:01:28):
And I think they needed to have it again. The
conversations they're having is very important. Like this is where
sometimes like, oh, the context doesn't mean anything. This is
where context what was said, because I feel like I'm
with Jojo on this where it's something in the milk.
W was clean and the communication telephone game here and
at one point y'all had to understand it. At another

(01:01:48):
point you had to understand it, and now it feels
like y'all in two different pages.

Speaker 3 (01:01:52):
Right. I think there needs to.

Speaker 6 (01:01:54):
Be a full out conversation with the words being I
do not want to have kids until X Y Z
or like until I'm ready whatever, and he needs to
take that reasoning and live with it. She wants it
because she's happy, She wants it because it's a financial gain.
She wants it because what people don't understand is the
child is still a human. It's a wild and so

(01:02:17):
if a child comes into this world with parents that
don't love it, and we're already starting no negative in
the world that we live in, right, and that's more
people said, go ahead, I'm gonna say, if more people
said that they didn't want kids, we wouldn't have as
many problems as we have. Yeah, and there's so many
people out here accidentally having kids, let alone with people

(01:02:37):
that are in relationships. And one person is thinking I'm
building the nursery and the other one's thinking I'm being
put in the prison cell. Because that is another thing,
another layer with that this will go to. Right, if
she has willingly, then where does that leave her state
of mind? Where does that leave her mind? Where does
that leave her agency?

Speaker 7 (01:02:55):
Right?

Speaker 6 (01:02:56):
And then him, you know, not having a clear definition,
It's like, well where does that leave his body?

Speaker 3 (01:03:01):
Where does that leave his mind? His agency? It's this messy.

Speaker 6 (01:03:05):
I thought we was having fun today and talking about
church folks and accounts and chef o thout a crime.

Speaker 1 (01:03:12):
Yeah, this is a lot, but no, I think this
is a great way to end to just kind of
you know, in this segment and letting people know like
part of being a millennial is one speaking up for yourself,
but also to recognizing that, you know, autonomy in all
fasters is hard, and I think that that's the thing
that we don't talk enough about about a millennial is
how much of you having to like advocate for yourself

(01:03:36):
is a full time job in the midst of living
in a really fucked up scenario, situation and place. So
we I want to pass off and say I want
to give love to anybody who's a millennial dealing with
anything right now and feeling any type of way because
a lot we're all going through a lot of shit
and we're experiencing it at a rapid play pace, and

(01:03:56):
I think you know, how you respond to these things
is how you respond to them. But we definitely just
wanted to kind of just have fun with it, but
at the same time be like, yo, shi, it is
tough out here.

Speaker 6 (01:04:06):
So that messy for us right now and it's going
to be messy going forward.

Speaker 3 (01:04:14):
Yeah it's good.

Speaker 2 (01:04:17):
Yeah.

Speaker 4 (01:04:18):
Well, now we are asking ourselves if we are the
assholes for for wanting lotches over kids over kids because
spice season, we have bake break and come back to
the top shop about pop culture more in just a sec. Okay, fam,

(01:04:41):
and we are a lack and this week we wanting
to dive into our what's popping bag. We're discussed pop
culture and as we see the resurgence of wild the
good pants, which I love. The gap came cat side
and so the shoes. I wanted to ask, y'all, okay,
come on beer.

Speaker 1 (01:04:57):
Yes, I actually hate the little dinosaur arms, but everyone
else loves it. So I was like, that's all the
coreo I would do, but love that for them, I
bought something from two thousand and culture that you are
nostalgic for.

Speaker 4 (01:05:11):
I'll go first past the Christal passa John, I'll say
for me, honestly, bring back the black sitcoms. I missed
the black sitcoms the two thousands. I miss my wife
and kids. I miss half and Half. I'm miss smart Guy.
I missed sister, I miss all, I missed the game.
I miss all these things. I missed laughing audiences. I
missed three Man episodes.

Speaker 5 (01:05:31):
I missed the.

Speaker 4 (01:05:31):
Ease of these shows, like bring bring back Black sitcoms.
Also Tomagatchi's I love that ship well, Pockmo and walk
with you.

Speaker 3 (01:05:40):
Yeah, it was so simple. I don't do it.

Speaker 5 (01:05:44):
I didn't find nobody.

Speaker 4 (01:05:44):
I just felt it, get get gave it life and
them was like he did die and we started like I.

Speaker 5 (01:05:49):
Love that ship.

Speaker 3 (01:05:50):
Bring.

Speaker 1 (01:05:51):
I had the baby, I had the Tamagatzi baby. Yeah,
the girl gave me hers because she didn't want it,
and I remember having it. My mom like, you can't
have that because Ultimate League, right, boys weren't supposed to
play with tom. But I remember having it for like
maybe a day or two and was so excited to
have it, and then it ended up being taken from me.

Speaker 3 (01:06:09):
I guy, you know we got you down. We hold
you down every day.

Speaker 6 (01:06:15):
Yeah, it was not practical, Okay, if she was gonna
be allowed to me, she needs to be something practical.

Speaker 1 (01:06:20):
Was a dinosaur a baby, Okay.

Speaker 5 (01:06:25):
So I love that ship.

Speaker 3 (01:06:26):
Every three days.

Speaker 5 (01:06:30):
You silling her because listen, you would.

Speaker 3 (01:06:32):
Put it down and then you wouldn't pick it back
up and you forget about it.

Speaker 6 (01:06:37):
When the SIMS was like that, the original sim Speaking
of two thousands, I love if.

Speaker 3 (01:06:41):
You didn't take care of them, they were just.

Speaker 2 (01:06:49):
Take sure. What about you, Chris?

Speaker 6 (01:06:51):
Something that I want back from the two thousands?

Speaker 3 (01:06:55):
Honestly?

Speaker 6 (01:06:56):
Cable, I just yeah, one television set that I could
turn on and watch all my shows two thousand specific
because we had the little DVR. Remember that adventure.

Speaker 2 (01:07:07):
Yeah, we had a we had a tvoamilyday.

Speaker 6 (01:07:15):
But yeah, just bring back just more so simplicity, Like
I we have gotten so far into everything being complicated
because my original answer is going to be napster. Like
remember when it was just good to steal music and
just be fun. We were like we're doing things or
coding my Space pages. We're doing now it's like we
have that a social media press. And I did a

(01:07:36):
photo shoot today for no reason, for no reason, just
because I photographer wanted to take a photo.

Speaker 1 (01:07:43):
And everything obligation, everything's content, everything's content.

Speaker 3 (01:07:47):
That content, content creator.

Speaker 6 (01:07:50):
Those words that just got weaponized in the twenty teens.
They were so fun in the two thousands, those are
things they were. Yeah, I remember that you.

Speaker 3 (01:08:00):
I would be.

Speaker 1 (01:08:06):
Spread by my Space page and I would I would
literally go on I would find the my Space page
I wanted. I would create a look, do my photo shoot,
and the photos will go on my my Space and
then I would find a song that I felt spoke
you have yes, yeah, yeah, my best, my best, like

(01:08:29):
in my mind, my best one. I had a black
and white page and I had these photos of me
like again up against the tree, I was laid out
in front of a pool, and then I had they
had like these sparkly things in the background when you
would come on the page and then rock a bye
by Black Butter.

Speaker 5 (01:08:45):
That's real.

Speaker 1 (01:08:47):
Yes, yes, yes, And everybody was like, your page is nice,
and I'd be.

Speaker 2 (01:08:57):
Like, I did it.

Speaker 3 (01:08:58):
I got to write that down.

Speaker 2 (01:09:00):
She's a visual artist.

Speaker 1 (01:09:02):
Yeah, yes, I was giving content before content, yes, yes, yes,
now for me, yes.

Speaker 2 (01:09:10):
I was the content honey.

Speaker 1 (01:09:11):
But I do miss you know, and I mean my
Space famous was the thing like I I remember, like
I remember bumping into Forbidden, you know, rest in peace,
but like you know, like when I'm when I met Forbidden,
it was really cool to be able to be like,
oh my god, this woman has a mass so.

Speaker 2 (01:09:26):
Many followers on my Space.

Speaker 1 (01:09:27):
She was really cool. She was a really nice lady.
But all that to be said, like did t Li
Tequila of it all?

Speaker 2 (01:09:32):
It's just like to be.

Speaker 1 (01:09:33):
A my Space influencer at that time was really I
felt like the pressure wasn't I mean there was I'm
sure there was still pressure, but I don't it wasn't
as monetized as it is now. And I just think
it was a lot easier for you to feel like,
oh I have a following. But it's just like I'm
just being myself firstus. Now everyone's putting on. Yeah, people
are putting on.

Speaker 6 (01:09:52):
I don't, but like Jeffree Star was somebody that like
was Star and it was crazy to see the get
the makeup and do all this then be drama eddon
and like to see what they are now it's just
crazy all but.

Speaker 2 (01:10:15):
She's not a good person, and that's you. You got
to be the person.

Speaker 6 (01:10:20):
Of all the wrong boxes over time, you've been exposed
too much.

Speaker 3 (01:10:24):
Right.

Speaker 6 (01:10:24):
The last thing about like my Space era, but like
I recently ran across Lucas. Lucas was Fred from the
old YouTube, the first YouTuber to get a million followers. Fred,
he's doing so well and doing just content just because
he wants to. And it's like crazy to think that's

(01:10:45):
the first person to get a million followers, and just
some people do turn out if you just kind of
keep being yourself, that's really.

Speaker 5 (01:10:58):
I'm as Miles was not. Yeah my girl, that was
my girl.

Speaker 3 (01:11:04):
There from back in the day, shot black yeah stars
before the people was out here having fun on everything.

Speaker 2 (01:11:24):
All the Vine people.

Speaker 1 (01:11:25):
Yeah, everybody who was popular on Vine, like fine made
my twenty thirteen and twenty fourteen. But I was gonna
say I miss more than anything the cheaper prices. I
missed when rent was seven hundred dollars and a Chinese
food plate.

Speaker 2 (01:11:39):
Was five dollars. I missed that.

Speaker 1 (01:11:42):
I also missed when gas was eighty nine cents. So
bring back the cheaper prices, please. But seriously, I would
love to see the colors come back. And what I
mean by that is, I don't know, Joe, I don't
want to separate you. But I was going to say
there was a specific time in the two thousands when
things had like that vibrant plastic color on them, so
like phones like MacBooks, like TV had CD players. Target

(01:12:08):
was notorious. I think Target was the one who actually,
like I said it all it was the jelly color, yes,
like the jail blue black, I mean the jel It
was the blue, gray, the purple, the pink, all like
I missed that air of everything I swore of my
like remember when j Lo we when she had her

(01:12:29):
if you had my love video when she kicked that
iMac into the water so mad because I was like
I wanted that.

Speaker 3 (01:12:35):
I'm so bad, so bad.

Speaker 2 (01:12:38):
If hopefully we do have a.

Speaker 1 (01:12:41):
Few folks who listen who work for Apple who listen
to the show if you can put a bug back
in somebody's ear, that the new iterations of Imax or MacBooks,
like if we could get that back?

Speaker 6 (01:12:53):
Yeah, they're so like is so sterile, have run giving space,
spray cosmic.

Speaker 3 (01:13:04):
And then they got little pink champagne. But it's and
they're cute colors. Let's not say that. But they're not
the jail.

Speaker 2 (01:13:11):
It's not the girl.

Speaker 3 (01:13:14):
Either.

Speaker 5 (01:13:14):
Now it's titanium everything.

Speaker 6 (01:13:18):
Because I was saying, plastic little things used to break
every time I threw some somewhere and they had a
little cracked my why my.

Speaker 1 (01:13:27):
CD players stayed broken and I was getting a replacement
because I constantly had to have a replace because I
kept dropping it at the little top. But fly, that's
another thing for those who didn't grow up in the
CD era. But if you had to walk around with
a CD player, if you didn't have a walkman with
Anti skip, your life was fucking horror. You have Anti skip,

(01:13:49):
it was yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:13:50):
Every time you literally and you you needed to have
your CDs unscratched anyway, because if you got card you
see scratch, you was poor, you was you was ugly.

Speaker 3 (01:14:00):
That was some consequences from your friend grew if you got.

Speaker 2 (01:14:05):
And my god, what a moment.

Speaker 1 (01:14:08):
It was not not not not not.

Speaker 3 (01:14:14):
This is what the people used to do. It'd be
in the passerine look over like that.

Speaker 2 (01:14:19):
Yeah you gotta skip. How you got scratches on your CD?

Speaker 4 (01:14:25):
That was if you wasn't trying to use toothplace to
cover your scratches. Okay, okay, you had to try to
put y'all blowing into your game.

Speaker 2 (01:14:38):
Game sixty four.

Speaker 1 (01:14:43):
Your your if you're let me, let me take you
even more so, I'm probably telling y'all way more than
y'all need to know.

Speaker 2 (01:14:48):
So we growing up again. I I don't want people
to think that I just came into this.

Speaker 1 (01:14:52):
We grew up poor, not not poor poor, And we
had roaches and so our roaches hit you through one
of the chords for our for our sega, and so
we didn't have sound on what on our game for
a very long time until my mom bought us the
Nintendo sixty four.

Speaker 2 (01:15:09):
And so yeah, girl, that's just the life.

Speaker 3 (01:15:11):
Yeah, we had what it was. Oh, I'm gonna kill
me legend.

Speaker 6 (01:15:17):
Somebody I knew had reds one time and they had
you through the PlayStation in the middle of the game,
where are we go?

Speaker 4 (01:15:26):
If y'all, if y'all had a plug in the red yellow,
the red yellow white.

Speaker 2 (01:15:29):
Plug, don't talk to me, y'all.

Speaker 3 (01:15:32):
You was not there.

Speaker 2 (01:15:33):
We're not there. You were not there.

Speaker 1 (01:15:36):
But with that being said, we got to take one
more break for time, and when we get back, we're
gonna hit you out with our guest ma'm and our
no Man segment.

Speaker 2 (01:15:42):
We'll be back in just a second, all right, y'all.

Speaker 1 (01:15:52):
So with that being said, we're about to wrap up
the show and we're gonna get into our guest ma'm's
and our no man PAMs for this week. And this
week I'll start, Chris will go to you, and then
Jojo will close with our with our good Judy this week.
Mine are pretty simple, just kind of straight to the
point for me. My yes ma'am's. I definitely just want
to say. I want to say yes ma'am to all
the black girls who are on the tennis court. I know,

(01:16:14):
I think Venus came back, right, so Venus is back
on the court. There's been a couple of other girls.
I forget the one beautiful baby. She's the one who's
been walking around with the studded la boo boos. Shout
out to our producer who's trying to get us some
I forget what her name is, almost almost Saki Naomi

(01:16:35):
almost yes, yes her, So all that to be said,
loving her, love that her mental health is together. But
what I love even more is the fact that these
black girls are in the head of these white tennis players.
Because if you've been watching these girls, they are having
meltdowns on the court because they are not able.

Speaker 2 (01:16:51):
To keep up.

Speaker 1 (01:16:52):
And I think that that just is such a testament,
Like again everyone's, oh, well, why you always thinking about race,
because our whole lives are about race, girl, And it's
just really nice to see black girls get their get
their they get their shine, right, Like we've known black
girls are good at tennis for years, and it's just
been really really cool to see them kind of get
the due diligence and to get the celebration that they're getting.

Speaker 2 (01:17:13):
For just being bad asses.

Speaker 1 (01:17:15):
Because I know, for me, I've I've played tennis maybe
once or twice in my life, and that constantly hitting
that ball back and forth ath for me. So if
they can do it and they're winning, I love them
for it my no man Pam this week. So I
know we all but we probably all have a lot
to say about this. But I'm just gonna say this.
This is not a direct attack on black women. I
think this is just an attack on what we need

(01:17:35):
to be so a specific a black person, I think,
I want to say person, not even a black woman.
I think there is this thing of when you start
making good money, when you start when you've had to
come out. So I want to make this very clear,
Like I don't come from wealth, right, Like a lot
of what people see for me. Part of it is,

(01:17:58):
you know, a flex but also a part of it
is I've worked very hard to get to where I
am and I do my best. And if you know
me and if you stay around me, you know I'm
very intentional about the things I say to people, the
advice I give to people, and the ways I talk
about certain things. And I just want to caution, you know,
in talking about the Kelly Price and the Tabitha Brown
of it all, there's a certain element of privilege that's

(01:18:20):
there to tell someone that they need to go out
and get a job, or how their jobs search should look,
how their bank accounts should look, how they're So I'm
just I think mine, no, ma'am, is I think we
need to stop giving advice to people that where the
advice wasn't solicited, right, Like nobody went to Tabitha and said, Tabitha,
I would love to know your journey, girl, tell me

(01:18:42):
what you went through and how can I get to where?
Like it just it felt very kind of like out
of left field. And so for me, it's like, I
don't have a problem with Tabitha per se. What I
have a problem with is that I feel like the
advice that she's giving is coming from a place that
she no longer can resonate with, Like, Yeah, you started
your own company, your company is doing well, you're selling

(01:19:04):
stuff in Target. Like the person who's struggling financially, even
if they are an entrepreneur, they're not where you are.

Speaker 2 (01:19:13):
They've never been able to touch that.

Speaker 1 (01:19:15):
So like you've got to be now if you want
to give advice to say, Okay, this is how I
got my stuff into Target, this is how I made
myself a success in the music industry. Okay, I'm here
for that conversation, but I just think we really need
to be cautious about what we say and how we
say it with our platforms.

Speaker 2 (01:19:30):
That's just that's my that's my take.

Speaker 1 (01:19:33):
So I just wanted to make sure that I make
that very clear that I'm not directly like because I
know Tabitha knows people I know, and I know people
I know listen to the show, and I don't want
to getting back to her that I'm talking shit on
Tabitha because that's not what I'm doing. What I'm saying
is we've got like and also I want to add
like three like was it three hundred and nineteen thousand
black women have lost their jobs in the last six months,

(01:19:57):
so you know what I mean, Like, come on now, Like,
this is not a time for advice. This is a
time for empathy. So Tabla, you what you could have
said was, y'all you know black women. I know y'all
are going through it. If you feel your businesses are
not doing well, let me know how I can elevate it.
If you're having trouble finding a job, let you know,

(01:20:18):
reach out to me or reach out to my people
and we can try to see how we can use
your talents to get you into something.

Speaker 7 (01:20:24):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:20:24):
That's a whole different conversation than telling somebody that they
need to find a job when almost four hundred thousand
of us are jobless.

Speaker 3 (01:20:32):
And honestly like noch, but like that's what you meant.
You said what you meant.

Speaker 6 (01:20:39):
Yeah, Because when people want to help certain situations, they do,
and when people want to defend themselves for not doing
these things, that's what they say. You should get a job,
because those are the exact words of he who shall
not be named in that office that's not circular. So
it's those are the exact words you should get a job,
should Black women should be work, you know, and so

(01:21:02):
that to be spilled again, it's just t And my
thing with her is like I okay, so just if
I had to come out when she when Target first
went under and things happened, it came off like she
made a choice and I understood that choice. If you

(01:21:24):
still on that choice and said, hey, I have a business,
I just got this deal. I worked too hard work here, right,
it's kind of like working at like any other place,
and you have you do have to respect your employer.
And at the same time, because you think you got
to do that, you can't throw dirt on everybody else.
You know what I'm saying because that is the opportunity
that you had. You had the opportunity to.

Speaker 3 (01:21:44):
Deny your blackness when it was called uporn.

Speaker 6 (01:21:46):
You had the opportunity to then try to make up
for it, And there is space you still can because
I don't believe you were acting out of a malicious intent.
I believe you were acting out of necessity, like we
all do when we get in these position.

Speaker 3 (01:22:00):
When we get these deals, we are beholding to these contracts.
She's holding to a contract like everybody else.

Speaker 6 (01:22:06):
She can't out here and say X y Z just
like us, just like me to y'all as an employee
of y'all's. It's not I can't just be out here
saying whatever I want to say. You know, I'm a
representative of something, so that decision I can understand. And
most black women are putting, most black people are about
to be putting in that position.

Speaker 3 (01:22:23):
Period going forward.

Speaker 6 (01:22:25):
Do I choose to somewhat then the need, Do I
choose to augment my situation to adapt to what's going on,
or do I about out and not everybody has that
opportunity that the people you're telling you have jobs, go
get a job, don't have a job.

Speaker 3 (01:22:41):
For recent.

Speaker 6 (01:22:45):
It's not easy people have college doctorate people and not
even necessarily the paperwork. The ability of a doctor is
crazy to be sitting on a shelf right now. An
ability of somebody that has went through what they need
to go through to be an expert in this field
should not be having a beg for resumes, should not
be having them. Me here every day on Career Builder

(01:23:07):
like everybody else. But you want people to go out
and find jobs. You know what I'm saying that two
things can and cannot be true at the same time.

Speaker 3 (01:23:16):
You know.

Speaker 6 (01:23:16):
Yeah, I love you though, girl, and that you know,
and I want to That's what I'm saying. I cannot
say it's your fault. I don't blame you. I blame
the system that's put in that black woman have to
have to know shade shucking job to keep their business
aflow in a white market. And that's just as I said,
the hate toward her is it is irrelevant. It is

(01:23:38):
the system that the hate need.

Speaker 3 (01:23:39):
To go towards.

Speaker 1 (01:23:40):
I don't I have no qualms with her. I have
qualms with you know, And I think I think that's
what she meant. Like if you and and maybe her
intention was different, and maybe she meant something else and
it just came across one way. I don't know, but
I think that my bigger point is we've got, like,
in this moment, when so many people are dealing with
so much shit, we've got to be more empathetic about

(01:24:01):
the ways that we say things and how we say them.
Like even when people joke about, oh, not everybody needs
a podcast, I don't. I don't chime into that like that.
If you want to if you want to get your want,
you need to say what you need to say in
the mic.

Speaker 3 (01:24:13):
Do that like I do it.

Speaker 1 (01:24:14):
I get paid to do it. So I'm I'm who
am I to shit on you for wanting to start
a podcast?

Speaker 4 (01:24:19):
Right?

Speaker 1 (01:24:19):
But my thing becomes what I will tell you is,
you know, when people ask me about what is successful podcasting,
it looks like I will tell them the ups and
downs that we have had, you know, as a show,
and the things that we've gone through to get to
a place where we have an award winning show.

Speaker 2 (01:24:32):
That's that's important to me. But I'm not gonna shot
on your dream.

Speaker 1 (01:24:36):
And I just think that there's something to be said
about the ways that people when they start making good money.
How quick they are to turn their back on folks
who are still struggling and trying to get to where
they are, and to say, you know, your struggle is
your fault.

Speaker 2 (01:24:49):
It's just it's not it's not cool. It's not cool.
Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

Speaker 1 (01:24:54):
Go Go ahead, Chris. I feel like I'm going along,
So go ahead. What are your guest mams and your
no mams for this week?

Speaker 6 (01:24:58):
No, that's I'm totally at you, my yes, ma'am this week. Okay,
I have three because I don't be on here often.

Speaker 3 (01:25:05):
So my first one is fiber.

Speaker 6 (01:25:07):
Listen, if you are a millennial and you will not
have fiber in your diet, you do not have some
sort of regulation to your system, and you are out
here at prize and things, showing your whole and doing
all these, get in some fiber in.

Speaker 3 (01:25:23):
I saw some things in the last few weeks that
just tell me that fiber is not in the homes. Okay,
that's one.

Speaker 6 (01:25:32):
Two, speaking of fiber, RP rolling ray rest Well, to
go out the day before your birthday is one thing,
But the day before beyonce birthday, I know he rolled
into half, They rolled into heaven.

Speaker 3 (01:25:51):
Just you know, on a high I want to.

Speaker 6 (01:25:59):
I'm not gonna tell us just recipe pees just not wrong, right,
it's hilarious in person?

Speaker 3 (01:26:03):
What was hilarious in person? Yeah, very a very kind
person person.

Speaker 2 (01:26:09):
I believe that too. I believe they had a really
good heart.

Speaker 6 (01:26:13):
And on Beyond the Gates, Leslie, if I catch up
with you, it's gonna be me and you, Okay. I
don't have no context that if you do not watch
the black soap opera Beyond the Gates, you need to
be watching. Everybody need to be watching because we do not.
There's this the first black soap in twenty some years,
and they are literally eating like it is.

Speaker 3 (01:26:34):
I believe it actually so much good. I hate everything
import Beyond the Gates and Leslie Dana. If I see
my no, ma'am, pam is PayPal.

Speaker 1 (01:26:46):
Cause real quick, hold on, hold on, Joe, is your
ac on because we can hear it again?

Speaker 2 (01:26:50):
Yeah, okay, okay, go ahead, go ahead.

Speaker 3 (01:27:00):
My numbaan pam is the tab.

Speaker 6 (01:27:10):
My nomaan pam is for PayPal. Listen, I don't know
who PayPal is affiliated with in the our hearts, so
I'm gonna keep this very very cute Okay, this week
something happened with PayPal and its systems to where a
lot of people that invoice through PayPal were blocked from

(01:27:32):
receiving their money, and it was under the guise of review.
Now I've done some research, honey, extensive research, and.

Speaker 3 (01:27:41):
It just seems like we're in a world where the
computer systems don't work for us anymore.

Speaker 6 (01:27:47):
Right, the convenience of having a fast customer service to
talk to AI is not convenient anymore because there's somebody
whose money is taken is very traumatic to like then
have to run around the world to get a customer
service agent, for the customer service agent to like not
have the answers, right, my read is not necessarily for

(01:28:07):
the people of customer service. And Gary, I said, I
was going to apologize to you publicly. I apologize. I
did not mean anything, I see it. But you just
start threatening folks. You got to like redeem yourself, you know,
like the systems that are in place, especially because this
this thing, this glitch is attacking creators because not to

(01:28:31):
pull the curtain back, but TikTok is only really paid
through PayPal, right, yeah, I may have received a coin
through TikTok, I invoice, I mean through PayPal.

Speaker 3 (01:28:43):
I invoice through PayPal. I do all my stuff.

Speaker 6 (01:28:46):
I just did not know as a consumer right, and
to look up one day and they're questioning your business right.
They're asking for a business license because I have a
business license. They're asking for like clarification to the point
where I had to go to my employer and get
them to write letters to be like, hey, this is
that because there is no I work as a freelance creator.

(01:29:07):
There is no job description. I mean, there's no place
for me to go get these things unless I write
my right. That's from So my thing is like systems
need to change. But honestly, I'm just trying to trip
elon musk in a hallway somewhere, and everything else is,
you know, up to God, because these systems are meant
for convenience and they're really built to protect.

Speaker 3 (01:29:31):
The actual institution.

Speaker 4 (01:29:32):
Right.

Speaker 6 (01:29:33):
There's no way I have thousands of my dollars that
I earn that come to me directly through a client
that I do service for be called into question whether
i'm you know, whatever service, if I even I always
telling them pussy, that's my pussy and it's in my PayPal.

Speaker 3 (01:29:49):
I don't understand why that's being.

Speaker 2 (01:29:51):
Why facts her facts, you know, facts her facts facts.

Speaker 6 (01:29:55):
I've been with you since Little Kim dropped that album
in two thousand and nine, and and I know that
because that is when I signed up and I bought
the what was that, yeah, Black Black Friday, Little Kim's
Black Friday.

Speaker 3 (01:30:11):
I've been with.

Speaker 6 (01:30:11):
Y'all and I've been a loyal girl, and I don't
understand why this week I felt very disrespected as a customer,
all right, And this is me keeping it cue because
I know you have affiliations with so folks, so I'm
just being very nice. But at the end of the day,
you know, keep your money under your mattress like your
grandma taught you.

Speaker 1 (01:30:28):
Okay, yeah, yeah, you got to keep your money and
under your mattress at this point.

Speaker 3 (01:30:31):
And look at your accounts. Do not be foolish, millennials,
Do not be foolish, gen Z.

Speaker 6 (01:30:36):
Your coins looking funny, all of them, door dash transactions
being put together, and you're not looking through them.

Speaker 3 (01:30:43):
You need to pay attention because some.

Speaker 6 (01:30:44):
Of that might not be you know, some of that's
not right, it's not your some of that's not some
of that is your fault to catch, you know what
I mean?

Speaker 1 (01:30:51):
Yeah, yeah, but they gonna definitely play you if they
can play. That's definitely what I have learned. Especially if
you have a lot of money coming in, a lot
of money going out, You've got to keep your eyes
on it. Great advice, Great advice. Joho, what are your
yes ma'ams and your no mams for this week?

Speaker 7 (01:31:06):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (01:31:06):
So I don't have I don't have any nomm PAMs
this week. I just couldn't think of anything else. I
feel for once, nothing is bad.

Speaker 3 (01:31:13):
I mean the world's bad, but nothing actually you know.

Speaker 7 (01:31:21):
That.

Speaker 4 (01:31:21):
One Papal my guest man, will be shout with t
S Madison for her response to Simp Dogg's comments about.

Speaker 5 (01:31:28):
Say general love relationships.

Speaker 4 (01:31:30):
So as we all know, Simp has a low comment
two weeks ago that that was like I don't want
to explain to my grandkid how how how.

Speaker 5 (01:31:38):
Lesbians could be lesbians or how cool be cool people?

Speaker 4 (01:31:40):
What? And oh girl, you hear about it? He went
to a movie movie with with his grandkids. He saw
He's he saw he Saw a light Year and and
and in in the film, I guess like they're like
there there's there's a queer coup a queer women's couple.

Speaker 5 (01:32:02):
And the grandchild was like how like how they have
a baby they're both women, and he was like, oh,
this is too much.

Speaker 4 (01:32:08):
I should have spend this to years, just too much,
like like why do we have this er our films
and love has Madson's reply especially this line she said,
as a parent, you should also explain to your children
that other things exists in the world asidah what you
have the normal in your own home.

Speaker 5 (01:32:22):
And now I think that's such a great line because
it's so true, like like listening, like.

Speaker 4 (01:32:27):
If you want to be a parent or grandparent, you
have to be preided to to have uncoupled conversations with
your kids. I have them know that the world, the
world exists in such bigger, grander ways, and then you
think it does in the combines of your own four
walls girl together. So yes for that amazing response, just
so so great. I hope Snoop here's it and our

(01:32:47):
stands why I mean, I mean, I know Snoop is
not my.

Speaker 2 (01:32:53):
Considering you canceled, yeah, but yeah, well yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:32:58):
Listen, Calvin, I ain't hear about this story before the
drag Joy Internet, but I can dragon now.

Speaker 5 (01:33:07):
You be looking like.

Speaker 1 (01:33:10):
But you have anyway, none of it makes sense, make
it makes sense? And none of it makes sense. And
live in the world where everyone.

Speaker 6 (01:33:19):
Do you talk about your convictions to your child? Do
you talk about your allegations with your child?

Speaker 3 (01:33:24):
Then? I think when your child.

Speaker 6 (01:33:25):
Should looked up and was like hey, or that you
know the baby's looked up and was like, what's going on?
You should have told them no talking in the theater. Okay,
that's what we do. So what my mama used to
do when they had sexy don't talking to the theater.
Don't ask me nothing, because it ain't time for you to.

Speaker 3 (01:33:39):
Have that conversation.

Speaker 6 (01:33:39):
You as an adultion of that right and you having
some type of moral menty b in the middle of
a buzz like your film is wild?

Speaker 3 (01:33:48):
You two, Oh you're fifty three. This is something you.
You should be able to get it together. Girl, You
should be able to have get it together. Yeah, you've
been around too long.

Speaker 2 (01:33:57):
Too long.

Speaker 1 (01:33:58):
But with that being said, this episode has been one.
It has been long, and I feel bad for the
editor who has to edit it. So with that being said,
please send us your thoughts, your feedback, and your email
to Blackfefepot at gmail dot com. You can send us
your thoughts for the social media by interacting with our
post on Instagram and Twitter by using the hand no
Black fatfem pod Chris, where can the dolls find you?

Speaker 3 (01:34:19):
Oh?

Speaker 6 (01:34:19):
I think I'm gonna be in time out? My mom
would just call me, oh no four times back to bag.
You can find me on the ain't nothing around, child,
She's just sending pictures to me. You know when when
parents get old enough to send pictures, they send them individually.

Speaker 2 (01:34:34):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, my mom.

Speaker 3 (01:34:39):
My, mom.

Speaker 2 (01:34:39):
I didn't need six texts. I didn't need six texts.
I didn't need them.

Speaker 3 (01:34:44):
But you can find me.

Speaker 6 (01:34:47):
Posted up, find me. You can find me at c
X R O, d g E anywhere on the internet.
Look soon for Chris Created Studios. Six should be a
very year for.

Speaker 3 (01:35:03):
Your Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 6 (01:35:06):
Yes, And there's third traps every week at some point
because the doll has to keep the engagement and honestly
you can't.

Speaker 2 (01:35:13):
Got to keep it up, amen, amen?

Speaker 3 (01:35:16):
Yeah, yeah, and PayPal you got thirty two days. Yes
queen yo ho.

Speaker 2 (01:35:27):
Where kids the dog fights?

Speaker 3 (01:35:31):
That was perfect?

Speaker 4 (01:35:36):
I loves you can find me joho dails across all
socials as always my website jourin nails dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:35:42):
If not there, you.

Speaker 4 (01:35:43):
Can find me coddle under my air conditioning. Even if
the recordings because there's a hot in the streets and
now were a fuse to.

Speaker 3 (01:35:52):
Supper.

Speaker 5 (01:35:53):
But anything you was not you was gonna give me.
He's struggling this house. Uh so I'll be right there, look.

Speaker 3 (01:35:59):
At it, but I do it.

Speaker 1 (01:36:03):
Yes, all right, Well ask for me and mind you
can find me down to ww dot doctors John Paul
dot com where you can find more information about my book.

Speaker 2 (01:36:14):
Keep running that up.

Speaker 1 (01:36:15):
I still see people tagging me in the book purchases,
so thank you for that. You can get the book anywhere,
So I stop saying where you can get the book,
because the book dolls are fighting there. There's something going
on in the book world, and so just get your
book where you get your book. If you like to
get your book from one place, get your book from
that place. If you'd like to get your book from
another place, get your book from that place too. But

(01:36:36):
just buy the goddamn book. That's basically all I got to.
Just buy the book.

Speaker 3 (01:36:40):
Buy the book.

Speaker 1 (01:36:41):
And with that being said, you can also watch my
spot on ABC Our America Who I Am Meant to
be a lot of folks have asked questions about that.
You can find that on Hulu or on ABC. With
that being said, we want to thank our super producers Joey,
pat and Beiwang for handling all of the logistics and
everyone over at iHeartMedia for keeping the show up and running.
We'd like to thank you Chrisopher being here with us

(01:37:02):
and for having just literally this is just such a
fun time. I have such a blast and it is
always so awesome to know that you not only get
to edit the show, but you are a part of
this legacy that is the Black Fat Fan Podcast. So
we're thankful that you're here, and we're thankful that you're here,
if that makes sense. This has been another show. Stay
black Fat, femine, fabulous And remember what.

Speaker 4 (01:37:22):
Joe, we may not be a cup of tea girl,
but you're just on water because any for ounces a
day keeps a crash skin away with your dusty dad,
ashy ass.

Speaker 1 (01:37:30):
Oh lord, I say, okay, well I break your water.
And I just want to say this too, white people,
you can be ashy.

Speaker 3 (01:37:44):
Wash legs count too.

Speaker 1 (01:37:49):
Yes, we got to do take care of yourself. You
got to take care of yourself. But anyway, all that
to be said, I love us for real and until
next time, I love us. I'll see you next week.

Speaker 3 (01:37:58):
Bye.

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