Protect the Dolls (and That Means Chucky)

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Black Fat Film Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio
and Doctor John Paul LLC. Hey everyone, welcome to another
episode of the blackfeff And podcast where all the intersections
of identity are celebrated. I am one of your hosts
John's and on us Doctor John Paul, and I would
like to have a word with my friends down to
the chili. So I just really want to say, and Chris,

(00:23):
if you want to add some music here you can.
This is non copyrighted music from the editing team.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Don't flag us.

Speaker 1 (00:35):
I'm gonna need y'all to bring bring back the corn
on the cob. I'm gonna need y'all to do that.
It can't be that expensive. We used to be a
proper country. We really did. You know, when you would
go into Chili's and they would say, hey, what would
you like? You know, you get your mango tee, you
get all the things you know you can still you
may get your fight out of margarita or whatever. And

(00:57):
then they would say what would you like to eat?
And you would say, I want the try and it
used to come with fries. It would come with a
good piece of corn on the cop and then you
get your three pieces of the triple Dipper. If you
were like me, you'd like to live a little on
the wild side. For those who are not watching, I'm
shaking my titties. You would get the Chipotle, you know,

(01:18):
So let me before I go. Are you a chili's girl?
Do you eat chilies like that?

Speaker 2 (01:24):
Do I know chili or what?

Speaker 1 (01:29):
I want to make sure you sweet met you whip me.
I know you with me? You'll tell me how quick
when I'm wrong. That's the one thing I have learned
about my sisters. As soon as I'm wrong, sugar, oh girl, no, no, no, no,
that's that's the wrong. She go, no, no, no, no, no,
you're wrong there. But I'm glad chili. So yeah, you

(01:51):
would get you. You would get your triple dippers. You may
get the Chipotle. I like to ask for some some
flour tortillas, and then I would the Yes, I would
put my triple dippers in the tortilla, and then I
put ranch on it. Girl, Oh, didn't eat them, girl?
You know, they dinna take the corn away, and so

(02:11):
now they give us mac and cheese. So I was
on a I was on a trip this weekend. I'm
gonna talk more about my conference a little bit later, Betby,
let me tell you that they gave me some mac
and cheese. When I tell you, it was the nastiest
mac and cheese I have ever seen in my life.
The like it was like the noodles were swimming in
the cheese and the cheese was like real milky. It
was gross. It was disgusting, and I just said, like,

(02:34):
what are we doing here? You know, when my mother
yells at me like this, it's because she loves me.
You heard what I said, bring back the corn on
the car. But anyway, Queen Joho, before I get too
deep into the rabit hole of all of the issues
I have with chili, how are you.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
Screaming?

Speaker 3 (02:55):
Jordan Akjo of the Once, I'm gonna tell y'all of
wobiting multi multi reading podcasts very much, and I'm here
to tell y'all that we need to bring yearning back.
The online streets are saying that men are don't yearn
no more, and I have to agree.

Speaker 2 (03:10):
I'm inclined to say, yes, it's true. Men don't be
begging for love no more, and it shows they don't
write no more love songs or anything.

Speaker 3 (03:18):
Just lazy but expecting us to do the most, and
I hate to see it.

Speaker 2 (03:23):
No, I want a man who yearns. I want man.

Speaker 3 (03:26):
I want men to write me a sonnet, bring back
shake a spear, bring back some sonnets.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
Bitch. I want to know, I want to know. I
want you to.

Speaker 1 (03:37):
Professional love my window with a boombox. Yeah, tell me that.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
Your die on my love. Tell me that.

Speaker 3 (03:46):
Tell me that you would rather see your eyes gouged
out than see me walk away from you, Like that's
the ship I want to see.

Speaker 1 (03:52):
Yeah, you don't.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
Want to see.

Speaker 1 (03:55):
Yeah, you want? You want boys to men begging on
banded knee, That's what I.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Want on bend.

Speaker 4 (04:02):
Come back, Yes, hear me.

Speaker 1 (04:08):
Yeah, Wanye was hollering. He wanted don't let this slap up. Yes,
mama was begging. And then we get to the bridge,
honey day. The one thing about boys to me was
they was gonna beg they.

Speaker 5 (04:29):
Were going, they had no shame. Yes, yes, don't the girl,
don't you?

Speaker 1 (04:39):
They come on, we're begging. So anyway, yes, I agree.
I agree that we don't do enough and we're gonna
be It's funny because part of our show we're gonna
be talking about, you know, the whole uh, fanatic mistlessness
of love that we we live in now, especially with
reality TV. I just thought it'd be a really good
time for us to talk about it. Obviously, you all
know a huge Love is Blind fan, and it wrapped

(05:00):
up a couple of days ago, and so I want
to talk about that before the reunion hits. But I
also wanted to remind the girls that me and Jordan
are headed to NYC by the time.

Speaker 2 (05:09):
You hear baby, will we be in New York?

Speaker 1 (05:12):
Yeah, we'll be No, no, no, no, no, I'm going to
New York. Yeah. So if there are any girls who
want to connect, so that way we can create some content.
And I'm not talking about OnlyFans content now, baby, Now,
I'm not judging nobody. I'm not yetting nobody's gyms. That's
not what we do over here, right. We're talking about
if you want us to be on your podcast, you
want us to make a couple of quick clips with you,

(05:34):
go ahead, jump in our dms. Let us know. We'll
make some time. But yeah, girl, we're going down with
our fingers crossed and praying that we win an award.
But hey, yes, I just wanted to shout that out
as well but go ahead.

Speaker 4 (05:46):
Mm hmm, well why yes, why yes, godly.

Speaker 1 (06:09):
To our girl, thank you and.

Speaker 2 (06:14):
Are still here? Segments stupid never break out like that.

Speaker 6 (06:22):
I was buffering. I was like my wife, I said,
she all right, but your friend said, stupid head, Chris,

(06:45):
don't cut that. Christ believe that hilarious. I'm actually crying.
We do every week with our serious your girl Masticia gamble.
Now I ask a very simple yet very important.

Speaker 7 (06:58):
Question, who oh bitch, what what?

Speaker 3 (07:04):
What gesture makes you feel loved? This will be the
through line conversation that.

Speaker 2 (07:09):
We have today.

Speaker 3 (07:10):
So I think we mentioned before we get into the
weeds of all not you crying because I'm crying, Tod,
I'm I'm you know, I'll go.

Speaker 2 (07:18):
First, someone as John for me. I think it is.
It's not buffering, it is my gesture of love. Girl.

Speaker 3 (07:24):
They'll buffer on me for me. It's like when people
do what they say they'll do, especially you were.

Speaker 1 (07:31):
So dumb, but go off, go ahead.

Speaker 6 (07:34):
I'm sorry, I just can't stop for real.

Speaker 7 (07:38):
Ship that ship took me out. I said about old Faith.
I was like, you know, it was it was gonna sucking,
But go ahead.

Speaker 3 (07:50):
People doing what they say they'll do, especially if I
ask for help. So like I don't have a person
where I don't ask for a lot. And so if
people said do something, then like then like then like
one they said the dissertations that that they'll do it,
and like when it's when it doesn't happen, like it
like it drives people wall and so like that just
makes me feel loved. Is like people who uphold their

(08:12):
commitments to what they say they'll commit to because like
and like and like and im and I've been working
through like in some cases, like I've been working through
like relinquishing the impact if they don't right, because like
sometimes things just happen and we can't all do the
things that we say will do, you know. But for me,
it's like it's about it's more about like big things

(08:33):
in small things. But you make my when you see
feel loves to people if if you say just one
thing you do that you do the thing one because
if I gotta do it, I'd be like girl, actually
done the first place. But two because it lets me
know that you are like that you're like invested to me.
To me, it's like that's a time of investment for me.
Right if you do what you say you'll do. It's
a time investment investment for me that you're invested in

(08:55):
us whatever we are as people. And so yeah, so
I think that sos peoel most loved and and you
and then and then then also like like it was
like clear communication like feel love. But if someone's like, Noah,
girding not love that, like you know that someone's like,
hey girl, I ain't love that thing you did, I'm.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
Like, oh no, what I appreciate that. I mean I
may feel her.

Speaker 3 (09:14):
I'm like, you love me enough to tell me when
I'm not showing up about as about self, and and
also love me enough to tell me when I show
up as my most amazing stuff.

Speaker 2 (09:23):
Yeah, like yeah, those are my too.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
I agree. I think those are actually really really good.
And it also speaks a lot to our friendship. I
think it's it's cool because it's like I feel like
I've learned so much about and I've said this on
in so many different ways, but I feel like you
have shown me a lot about the you know, empathy
and and being honest with folks and saying it like
you know, saying it with my chest, and how to

(09:46):
check in on people. I think you've really taught me
how to do that very well, because you check in
it on me. You know, I've learned to check it
on you more so. It's just it's really, like I said,
I'm watching you has very much been a mirror for
me in a lot of ways of even you know,
at my big age thinking, Oh, I think I I
you know, I figured it. I think I have it down.
There are times where I watch you, and I watch
how you tell people how to respect you or treat

(10:07):
you and love you, and it and it helps remind
me what I need to be doing to be not
only just a better friend, but also to be a
better partner, et cetera, et cetera. So all that to
be said, you know, for me, I I really never
thought about this until theory, until until therapy. Look at me,
I'm tripping all over my words today. My God, when
I started therapy, I had never I didn't really, I

(10:28):
guess I was always afraid to tell people how to
love me or you know really you know, say like
I need these things in order for me to feel valued.
And now therapy has really helped me like tell people that.
And so I think for me, uh, truly my my
true love language you know is words of affirmations, but
also including me. And what I mean by that is

(10:51):
like even if you know I'm busy, or even if
you know I have something going on, it's it still
means a lot to me, where it's like, hey, I'm
doing this thing and I know you might be busy,
but I just wanted to make sure that you knew
about it. Like that really tells me, Oh, wow, at
least you thought about me, right, Like at least she
thought to include me, even though like for instance, like
even thinking about like with your birthday right like you
were like, I know you have something, you may have

(11:13):
something going on, but I just want you to know
that we're having this birthday thing and you're more than
welcome to come. That tells me everything. That tells me, well,
she loved me enough to like include me and not
to just be like, oh girl, I assume as you
were busy, so I didn't ask you. You know that
that me Apart from that, I think you know and
I tell people like just invite me anyway, and that

(11:35):
tells me that you want me around. I think it's
because I've constantly been isolated in several spots of my
life and I I mean, we could talk about that
in different ways, but I think, you know, feeling like
people intentionally left me out or intentionally overlooked me. I
think when people actively say, you know, like I said,
I know you're busy, but I just wanted you to
know this thing was happening and I was I'm hoping

(11:55):
you can come, that tells me wow, like you're actually
you actually see me and that you love me. But
I think I think for me, uh, inclusion is just
a it's a huge thing for me since I often
worry about and I also struggle with this and I
don't know if you struggle with this, but I I
automatically assume that people don't like me until they tell
me they do, and so it's just something I'm still

(12:18):
working through, even at my big age. But yeah, that's
a big thing for me, is inclusion. Or even when
people are like, yeah, I would love to hang out
with you like that, I'm like, oh, that's that's amazing.
But also food, food is a big love language for me.
My heart is through my stomach. I tell people all
the time, say it with the McDonald's gift cards, say
it with a they'll cards say it with a you know,
a taco bell, you know a little five dollar box, right, Uh,

(12:41):
say it with boba. You brought me boba when we
had to speaking like that was that was love. When
we went to we went to our little kiki session,
like you brought me boba like that. That is an
act of love for me. Say we'll relapsed the biscuits
like that. That that's true love to me. Yes, yes, yes,
and it is for Yeah, she was right up in
there and get like two or three. I think that

(13:03):
m damn things for like three or four. So like
that just shows me that you know me and that
you love me. So yeah, say it with you know action,
but also say it but food. Yes, god, you know I.

Speaker 3 (13:13):
Love that so very much, say I I because I
think one I think about a lot is when you
invite someone right like because also even if you are busy,
you may you may surprise you and come right like
like I feel you on also being a person like
I know when people often like you know, I think
you're so busy, I'm like, okay, but and by me anyway,
right And some people, some people I think for them

(13:34):
it's like well they don't want to rejection if you're
saying no, and I'm like girl like like like I
hear that, and also like I I would push back
into it like it hurts one more not being body
than than than that, like the just say like no
because it's not that I wanted to know. It's like
it's like I have to say no for some reason.
But also I'm surprise you.

Speaker 2 (13:54):
And show up.

Speaker 3 (13:55):
And then if I do, don't be gad that I
said yeah, right, because because I think also some people,
I think some folks don't invite us or by others
because they because they want to be responsible for the yes.
Because then if you say yes, like oh I got
like fans of this bitch now do And so that's
why I'm people to places like buying people places if

(14:15):
I actually don't want them to be there, because because
if they say yes surpise me, then great, then like
I'm prepared for them to be there. But if I
but like if I if I actually don't, if actually
don't want them there, I won't invitelf. If I don't
want you there.

Speaker 1 (14:26):
I'm not gonna tell you about it. If I don't
want you, then I know that's right, I think that's fair.
I think that's totally fair. I think you know we
I think in in the bigger scheme of this conversation, right,
I think it is important one to also protect yourself,
but also I think the same in the same vein
it's also important to tell people how to love you.

(14:47):
And I think we as people over time, especially now
because of you know, the pandemic and because of everything
that's going on in the world, I think we haven't
had time to really stop and say, what do I
need to feel full? And I think for me, like
telling people what they should be doing or how they
should be doing things for you to show up for you,
you know, or even rearranging plans and then saying, you know,

(15:07):
I know I can't be there, like I said, like
I know I this weekend. Like a great example of
that was I knew I couldn't be there on Sunday,
so I said, I'll come a day earlier and we
can hang out the day before your events, so that
way we can make sure that we have quality time together.
Like that was me thinking of it in the sense
of like we're sisters and I want to make time
for you even if I can't be there on the
day that you really want me to be there. And

(15:29):
so like, that's the kind of stuff I'm talking about, right,
tell people what you need so that way we can
fill each other's cups, especially now you know so.

Speaker 2 (15:38):
Well now that I got uh.

Speaker 3 (15:41):
Door dash a special liberty to jump for some things
I won't tell them about. Yeah, yeah, I'll say one
quick way come back with this with cagrias.

Speaker 2 (15:50):
And just sec and then.

Speaker 1 (16:00):
All right, this week we are hopping into another conversation
related to topics that we have touched on in the past.
So we don't need nobody sending us no messages. You've
already talked about this, Yes, we have mentioned it before,
but we're putting it. We're putting a spin on it
this week. We have we have actually had listeners, and
I will say honestly, there have been people jumped in
my inbox and said, oh my god, I would love

(16:21):
for you to talk a little bit about love is Blind,
or I would love to talk to you love for
somebody to talk about coreltimatum. And I've told people, yeah,
I don't necessarily know if we want to spend a
whole episode talking about that, but what I will say
is that, as you all know if you follow me
on social media, you know I have been super vocal
about how awful this season of Love is Blind is,

(16:42):
and now that it's wrapped up and baby the way
that this last season, I'm actually really upset that you
don't watch it, jojo be because I really wish we
could engage some of the content around it. But for
those of you who know me and have them following
me on social you already know what I have to
say and how I feel about all of the people
on the show. It is bad. The season was terrible.

(17:03):
But as I mentioned to my sister that I think
there is something deeply troubling about shows like Love is Blind,
specifically this past season, and and then just I think
in general about how Americans are obsessed with these love shows.
And so I said, why don't we have a quick
moment to where we just kind of like process out,
because like I said, I know you loved the Queer Ultimatum.

(17:24):
I didn't watch that. And then you know I love
Love is Blind. I know you don't watch them. I said,
how can we meet in the middle. And so today
we're going to be talking a little bit about this
notion of like the problem with these love shows, and
so specifically I'm gonna be touching on like you know,
and and again if you follow me and you know me,
you know, I'm really big on this. I love watching
these type of shows, right, I'm a huge ninety Day

(17:44):
Fiance fan. I still watch it, I still follow all
of them. I also watch Love on the Spectrum and
I even watch Indian Matchmaker, which they really need Hoary
to bring that back, because that was actually really good.
There were a lot of problematic elements of the show,
but I will say I really enjoyed that show. And
so anyway, this week I wanted to ask, why do
you think American pop culture is so committed to the

(18:06):
idea that finding love must be competitive, performative but also
so damn public. That's kind of the first place I
wanted to start with this combo.

Speaker 3 (18:17):
So I was thinking about when I felt this question,
I was thinking about, like I wonder where our desire
for love stories.

Speaker 2 (18:24):
Come from, Like, you know, like what do we always do?

Speaker 3 (18:28):
We always have great love stories like was it in
books like Prior Prejudice? You know, like what was it
in was it about? What was it?

Speaker 2 (18:36):
You know?

Speaker 3 (18:36):
Was it was it Shakespeare was it well, because I
think a lot about scary movie when Brenda would be like, oh,
but like like I like like in situ lovely is it?

Speaker 2 (18:53):
Is it more of a like American culture thing.

Speaker 3 (18:56):
It's just I think so because like I I often
I've watched a few like thing shows in other countries,
and like some of these shows somebody shows, like they
have like panels during the show to deep if discuss
like through I watched ever, like Korean and Japanese dating shows,
and they have like a panel that's in the middle
of the show that's separate from the contestants that they'll
just like talk about what's happening, which I like a

(19:18):
lot because they see a lot of what we're thinking.
But they also don't get as valid as we do
or rude I think.

Speaker 1 (19:23):
Right, like I think balloon is awful, right, yes, just
go off.

Speaker 3 (19:27):
Because like just because because like we like I think,
we like we love drama, right in some ways it's
Catharsis for us because maybe like the like the repression
we have.

Speaker 2 (19:40):
For that in our own lives. But I also like.

Speaker 3 (19:43):
Think sometimes like like the thing shows that we have
this is like it's like a. It's like a like
love island, Love is blind? Like was it singles in front?

Speaker 2 (19:54):
Was it in front? Or something like hot? Whoever?

Speaker 3 (19:57):
Like like the like case studies in what happened? I
think what this is like a we don't love, we
don't love facilitations. This is what happens between a facility
to let people do their own things to see what happens,
and they almost always go into violence or accusations or
like intent ship right yeah, But and another way is
like I think, like we're just colonial af We love

(20:17):
performing violence, and we love chaos, and we love uncontrolled chaos,
like I think we and I think the finding love
musty competitive because our entire basis is based off a competition,
right like capitalism is based off a competition. The construction
of America is based off of who can own who
and makes wing faster? And so I think right like,

(20:38):
we find everything to be centered around the idea of
competition and then and wing right like, we're all about
risk and reward. We love the idea of like what's
the risks, what's what? And what's what's the reward?

Speaker 2 (20:50):
Here? Is that money is that I fall in love
with somebody? You know, I watch. I watched the first
season of Love is Blind now really and I liked
it in some cases, other cas just hate it.

Speaker 3 (21:02):
And I think, I think also think like it's our
obsession also, like no one gives a show for people
who aren't U unquote hot as fun right, Yeah, like
I think like I think like the review shows that
just show people that you feel like I can relate
to this person. Yeah, and like in many ways, And
so it's also our obsession with like looking the.

Speaker 2 (21:22):
Best and.

Speaker 3 (21:24):
Yeah, exactly so so and that that I'm curious to
ask you, are we addicted to watching people fall in
love or to watching them fail.

Speaker 2 (21:36):
To sustain love?

Speaker 3 (21:38):
And what does this say about our collective relationship to intimacy?

Speaker 1 (21:42):
Yeah? Well I so, I I so. I something you
had said struck a chord in me or just a
second ago, when you were talking about the chaos of
it on I was even thinking, like I I love
watching there's a show called Match Me and Broad that's
a TLC show. And this last season, actually the last
past two seasons, two of the couples have basically spiraled

(22:05):
out of control and it became extremely chaotic towards the
end of the show. And I, you know, my partner
has kind of like tuned out of that show and
it's like, why are you still watching this? And I'll
even admit for me it was, Oh, I know that
it's about like from the clips I saw, it's about
to spiral out, and I want to see how it
spirals out. And then you know, that way, I can
feel like there's a you know, there's at least a

(22:25):
bow for me since I've committed myself to watching these
twelve episodes of the show. But I think for me,
you know, I've heard so many people say dating is
terrible now, and as someone who has been married for
fifteen years, and I'm watching these shows and I'm watching
these spirals, and like you said, the chaos of it all,
I feel like reality TV has played a role in
the breakdown of romance kind of like what you were

(22:48):
saying earlier, right, like they're like the longing, the the
the essence of dating is no longer. I don't know,
I woul'tn call it fun, but it's just it seems
like it's so it's competitive, it feels I think that's
the thing. I think that's the word I'm looking for.
It just feels like as I'm listening to my peers
who are dating, or I'm listening to my peers who

(23:09):
are in you know, open relationships and you know, trying
to find connections with other people the way that they've
responded or the way that they've replied to you know,
my question of like, girl, what is going on in
the dating world, it just feels like tea. I guess television,
And I don't want to say it's all television. I
also think that you know, we all play a role
in this to some degree, but it does. It feels

(23:30):
like it's just super competitive and it's always who's the
hottest of the hot, like the like the thing I
noticed is that no one's ever good enough, right, Like
It's like someone's always looking for like the total package.
And I think that's the thing I had to really
I wouldn't say, you know, and I want to make
this very clear because I love my partner house down boots.

(23:50):
Like what a lot of people don't know about me
was when I met my partner, my partner had just
lost his job. He had just lost his job, you know,
he was living back at home with his panm parance,
and you know, I could have literally said, oh no, girl,
you know you live with your mom and you you
know you just lost your job. I'm not gonna date you.
But it was like, for me, it was I didn't
I For me, it wasn't about that. It was I

(24:12):
see this very beautiful and kind person who's wanting to
love me the way I'm asking to be loved, and
so I think, just for me, it's like dating dating
because Rea, a lot of these reality television shows are
set up like competition. It has really ruined the understanding
of what true romance is and what compatibility can be,

(24:33):
and even self worth. Like as I'm watching these people
and The Love is Blind and the Pods, that was
a lot of the things that I felt like they
they and I have to question is this this this
intentional or is this the way that they're setting it
up to make good TV? Right? Because I recognize that
the producers are in the mix of this, but the
question is, you know, if if somebody tells you there
are trust so again, I know I don't want to

(24:55):
spoil it, but at this point, if you haven't watched
the last episode, you pretty much did yourself a distort.
Vis you know, spoiler alert fast forward through this. But
I was going to say, like there was a hole
to do around this woman saying I don't want to
marry this man because he's a truck driver, And I'm going, well,
why weren't you having this conversation with him in the pods? Girl?
You know what I mean? Like if you knew him

(25:15):
being a truck driver was going to be the thing
that made you not want to marry him. Okay, right right,
But I'm just saying, well, you're like, okay, why yes, well,
yes I did not.

Speaker 3 (25:31):
Marry a truck driver either for my own personal not
not because I hate not because I hate the profession,
but because my dad was one another man.

Speaker 2 (25:38):
He was a home.

Speaker 1 (25:40):
Let's way. I wish you when you right, but I
wish you when you write.

Speaker 3 (25:46):
Un Like her, I would have been said that from
from John versus went to the ultra day girl, because
you knew his y'all beforehand.

Speaker 1 (25:53):
And that was the big thing for me, Like, I
just can we can we take a moment to segue
off to that, y'all? Niggas? Way did we did all
of this? You got three women and dresses, you took
people gold cups, you had your family involved. You invited
all these people out here for you to get to

(26:14):
the altar to turn around and say, no, like, what
are we doing? What are that for me? Is what
really pissed me off. But anyway, I don't want to
I will, I will. I don't want to go off
into that tangent. But I was just say, like, I
just think that it just it feels like everybody is
looking for gold all the time, and it's like, baby,
it is okay for you to settle with silver, It's

(26:36):
okay for you to find bronze. I'm not telling you
to get with like somebody who is absolutely terrible and
you know, treat you poorly, And that's not what I'm
talking about. What I'm talking about is that a lot
of the things that I hear specifically on reality TV
or even just in like the day to days of
people saying, oh, I don't want to date him, I'm going, girl, like,
do you really think that you're gonna be able to

(26:58):
find all of that in one person? Because I mean,
and I'm I feel like I'm a catch and I
still ain't got all my ship together right like, so
I'm just I'm going like, like, I just feel like
we've really gotten to this place where we've lost the
plot when it comes to like specifically dating shows, but
the ways that we treat each other when it comes
to love and romance. And so I guess the thing

(27:19):
I want to throw back to you is I would
love to know what you think all of this, you know,
reality TV, the apps, you know, specifically probably being someone
who is on the apps, right, I know you you're
probably looking for connections and not trying to judge you.
I'm just saying like, no, I'm not, I'm not trying
to No, yeah, I mean I kind of assumed. I

(27:40):
mean obviously you you said that you're you know, you're
single and never no, no, no, I'm just saying like as
someone who So maybe I should say not the apps,
but like looking for a digital connection, a girl who
is looking for who who's looking for a digital connection? Like,

(28:03):
you know, what does it say about the ways that
folks are seeking to connect on all of these things?
You know?

Speaker 3 (28:09):
Okay, So first, so first I want to address like
or I want to like pull a thing on you
said because I feel like because I cause, like you
mentioned idea of like like settling, and I think and
I think like I think there's a really real thing
about settling to be said for sure, but I think
like now today and a time where you can customize

(28:30):
anything you want from a person essentially like anything less settling,
and it's misconstrued like right, like compromise is misconstrued as
something yeah, yeah, And I think that's why I'm always
mindful of is like is it actually settling, right like,
like is it that you want gold in this person's
bronze or like like or is it that you were
just maybe too like and there I say, too media

(28:51):
or picky and what and what you think gold is?
Like what actually can be a lot different things, but
people want to be like the most because that's because
it because we're taught we can have that. And I
don't think that's wrong that we're taught we can have
what we want, but also think we need to be
taught that like some like sometimes like things that we
want like don't always happen, and also sometimes look definitely
they look definitely than the way we think they're gonna

(29:13):
like show up to us, and we have to be
open to doing that. So I think that's one thing
I think, like how shows and apps have ruined that
for us is because it doesn't teach us to be surprised.
It teaches us it teaches us to want to like
customize something, and oftentimes when we will get what they
think they want, they end up not wanting it.

Speaker 2 (29:34):
And like that's what I think about as well too.

Speaker 3 (29:36):
I definitely think competition has ruined romance too, because when
it teaches us, right, it teaches us that like like
that like love should be there's like heart racing thing
and sometimes it isn't, like right, like I think I
think it's not wrong to want love to be heart
racing and delay and exciting, and sometimes like love can
really just be love can be boring. And the best

(29:58):
way right, Like I like I want to love that
is like I want to love that is like that
is like sitting on the stoop. It's like like like
smoking a joint or something that like right, like right,
like I want love that is that is that is
that one day can be we're going to a fancy
date night, we're dressed, we're dressed down boots, and the

(30:19):
next day is we're on the couch just watching a movie. Yeah, right,
like like like love do just have to be this
like constant rush of emotion or rushing relation, and I
think shows teach us that it needs to be and
or that like we need to like risk something all
the time to get love and then achieve and like
achieve this thing. And I'm like, you don't And to me,
I'm like, you're like, I don't think you're supposed to

(30:41):
achieve love, Like I think you like you have to
discover it, you have to like water it and nurture it.
And I think that that's not what these things teach us, right,
because all these shows are about falling in love fast. Yeah, right,
Like the whole promise of love love love is blind.
It is really wild. You meet somebody, you meet somebody
through this fake this wall for X amount of time
two you say too, we proposed to them, and then

(31:04):
you meet them and then like it's it's it's like
it's like you're like like you're flipping the idea of
like desire and connection on its head and like and
like I think they think they're like doing a social
experiment that's like really cool, but all it does is
like show people, Like I don't like, I don't think
it really shows people how to build together.

Speaker 2 (31:24):
I don't think it really shows people how to create, how.

Speaker 3 (31:27):
To sustain, you know, I think it shows people what
are the ways in which they like can like to me,
it's a one giant trigger test essentially, right like, it
just shows you how are your triggers.

Speaker 2 (31:38):
And then about the apps.

Speaker 3 (31:39):
The apps again give this give this faux sense of
like agency, but I think it's really more about I
think it's actually more about avoidance, right Like. I get
that they were made with the intention of saying you
can find whatever you're looking for out here. I think
that's really great. But like all good things, they become
used for evil and so now becomes well, I don't

(32:02):
want this, I don't want this, I don't want this,
all those things. But you might be surprised by those, ye,
right like, you might be surprised by the person who
like who who luckily doesn't fit your like physical standard,
right and like, listen, maybe if I, maybe if I
was was some like was some like I don't know,
like instant model here, maybe I feel different, right like

(32:24):
like maybe like maybe I'm maybe maybe I'm just an.

Speaker 1 (32:27):
Ugly bitch and like and so that is far from
the truth.

Speaker 3 (32:30):
I mean, I mean, sure, I mean I know, I know,
but like you, like, maybe i'm maybe my informed being
different than like if I was one of those people
that were on the show. But I really do feel
and I feel that like these things were created, like
they created the intention of access, right like access to

(32:51):
see love put it on on TV, access to find
the love, to find your love online and stuff. But
the creation of those things left out very real like emotions.
Let's look at very real education tools to build things
out in person, right, Like, yes, like yes, am I
on the apps?

Speaker 2 (33:08):
Yes?

Speaker 3 (33:09):
I don't think I'm that seriously though, because like I know,
like most Peo them are on the apps. They like
most people are on the apps. I found that they're
like so all the times in the apps and just
to meet somebody in person.

Speaker 2 (33:20):
Anyways, and like that's just how it.

Speaker 3 (33:22):
Goes, right, like cause you'll never really know until you
meet somebody in person, see like what your vibe and
your experiences, you know. So I think like people have
I think the we're trying to say is I think
I don't think it's the shows that any really have
ruined the things. I don't like blame a show, right,
Like it's not it's not the show's fault. We're a
bad at intimacy. But I think it's it's showed. It

(33:44):
showed us is It's like it's more about we have
invested less in intimacy. We have as people invested less
in knowing others. We have invested less in like not
being avoidant or healing ourself are having high emotional and
social eques.

Speaker 2 (34:02):
Like I think that's that's the issues that we have.

Speaker 3 (34:05):
Like it's one thing to enjoy brain rot, it's another
thing to like become brain rock, right, Like I enjoy
rotting on the couch sometimes for some silly ship. But
I also I'm like, let me not absorb like I
can consume about absorbing. Let me not absorb the brain
rot and become myself. Yeah, And I think that's how.
I think that's what people do. And also we like

(34:27):
find ourselves and these people, you know, they're nothing like that,
that's right, Like the doesn't really like and yet we
convince ourselves out that they're religable or that we that we.

Speaker 2 (34:36):
Relate to them.

Speaker 3 (34:37):
And I'm curious ask to you, like do you think
do you think that our obsession comes from the want
of a parasocial attachment? Are we projecting our own desires
into those narratives, and like, what do you think it
says about us, right, how lonely we are, or to
my point earlily, about men not yearning, right, that people
are not yearning and people are yearning for connection.

Speaker 1 (34:58):
Yeah, yeah, it's just there reminds you can keep my life.
Every time I hear that word, I always think of that.
I will say, so, uh.

Speaker 2 (35:15):
Is you.

Speaker 1 (35:16):
Can't just say that to somebody like me who is
neural spicy, because you know I'm gonna start singing a song.
But anyway, I so I've been thinking as you were talking,
I kept thinking about, like is it, like, what did
the pandemic really do to us? And I you know,
it's it's like when you really do the math, like

(35:37):
it doesn't feel like a long time. But there was
two years where we were truly isolated from one another.
When I I mean when you we went through like
over seven hundred days where we were not allowed I
mean unless you lived with someone obviously, like I mean
you live with your roommate or you were familiar with

(35:58):
your roommate at the time. I have my partner, like
I can't like, but outside of that, like we were
alone a lot of the time. We were stuck in
the house by ourselves, and so like, I think because
of that, people started looking for relationships through obviously like

(36:18):
television and tech. Right, We're trying to build relationships on
social media. We were trying to build relationships, you know,
people were using zoom, people were like we were doing
and so like when you ask this question about where
our obsession comes from with this, right, I think it
was like we were already like deeply immersed into it,
and then I feel like the pandemic only like sped

(36:40):
that up, you know what I mean, Like it literally
pushed us a deeper like isolation, if that makes sense,
because we were already isolating, right with the social media
of it all, from MySpace to Facebook to you know,
Twitter when Twitter was decent. But then you get this pandemic, right,
and then you have seven hundred plus days that you're

(37:01):
being told you can't be in community with anyone, and
a lot of people took that very seriously. There were
some people who were like, fuck that noise, I'm doing
what I want to do. Okay, that's cool. But I
think we saw we saw a club shut down, we
saw jobs go remote we saw, like we saw so
much isolation happen. And so I think to your point

(37:23):
to your question, you know, I think the reality is
is a lot of us, and I say a lot
of us, even to me, it's you know, even me,
like I'm and I'm doing my best not to project
my feelings about certain things onto people as if it's
their responsibility. Like I recognize that a lot of my
feelings of loneliness that I have is shit. I need
to work through, right this idea that i'm you know,

(37:46):
I'm forty, and I don't, you know, like I said
this before in past episodes, I'm forty, I don't have
the Martin and the living single friendship groups that I
once in my head thought I would have a lot
of that. But then also, you know, like I said,
I've lost friends because of the pandemic. You know, I've
had friends move away. Two of my best friends now,
one lives in North Carolina, another one lives in Atlanta.

(38:07):
I haven't seen them in three years. Like, it's just
a lot of that is stuff I have to process through.
But I also do believe that these television shows, specifically
dating shows, have made us believe that and I say
made us believe, because I think people forget these are produced,
like these shows are produced like they're being cut and clipped.

(38:27):
And so the person that you see on these television
shows you think is a really good person could be
a really fucked up person in IRL. But because they
have a good edit on the show, or because they
went into the show knowing that the world was gonna
be watching them, they've given off this persona of being
a good person, right, And that's something that I picked
up in Love is Blind. I'm like, ooh, that's a

(38:48):
really nasty person, but they just have a really good edit,
got it? And so like that that's the kind of
stuff I'm very cognitive of. But I think it just
I think a lot of us are just really fucking lonely.
I think being an American a part of the American culture,
and I think that's why third spaces are so important.
And I was actually talking to somebody about this, like
there was a budding third space that was happening here

(39:11):
in the Inland Empire and it just recently closed, and
a friend hit me it was like, hey, did you
hear that this place closed? And I was like yo,
Like I had so much hope that this place was
going to be a third place for so many people,
and now it's gone. And I think that's the thing.
Like so many Americans, they are looking for connections, and
I just feel like they don't know how to find them,
and so the only way or the only thing they

(39:33):
know how to do is turn on love is blind,
turn on you know, some random dating show that they
see on TLC or that they see on Lifetime or whatever.
Right Married at First Sight? Right is another big one
that I feel like I had qualms with. But yeah,
that's my long way of saying I think we're all
just you know, when we're all. I think we're all

(39:55):
lacking intimacy in various ways. And I want people to
be very mindful. When I say intimacy, it's not intimacy
in the sense of like sex or or like physical connection.
I'm talking the intimacy of like friendships.

Speaker 2 (40:08):
Right.

Speaker 1 (40:08):
I think we're all lacking in certain ways because I
think all of us are trying to figure out how
do we come out of this really dark time of
our life, which is, like I said, that pandemic really
fucked a lot of us up. And I don't think
we're ever going to really know that until until the
next couple of years of how much work we have
to do to undo a lot of that that that
that trauma that we all experienced. Yeah, but I just

(40:32):
think that we're all we're all works and progresses, and
I think we have a lot of work that needs
to be done. So that's my long way of answering
that question. I just wanted to ask you really quickly
before we skirt off into the next segment. I wanted
to ask you, you know, I can't really answer this
question because I'm sure my husband would kill me, but
I wanted to ask you, Uh, if you were to

(40:54):
do a if if if a dating show was to
come and knock on your door and say, hey, Jordan,
you have this award winning podcast. We know you as
an influencer, you have this deal with that, you know
with this, you know Fabletics. We love what you're doing.
Would you be interested in being on a dating show
like ninety Day Fiance, Love is Blind, Queer Ultimatum or

(41:16):
you know, we want to connect you with this matchmaker
who we think we want to record. Would you do it?

Speaker 2 (41:23):
Hell no?

Speaker 3 (41:25):
He Well, maybe I can't say hell no to like
all of that.

Speaker 2 (41:32):
There, Hu, there's a show that I do love that.

Speaker 3 (41:35):
I was like, I would I would do okay, all right,
so this is the show. So I would never do
those blind. I would never do ninety never. Also, you never,
you will never catch me marry somebody.

Speaker 2 (41:52):
That's just not just not not for me, babe, not
for me. But it was blind.

Speaker 3 (41:57):
No, I can do that either, because they can on
that show unless they have a show full of like
big bitches, because like, because what I'm not gonna do
is yacht to something for two weeks and then they
see me and they're like, oh.

Speaker 1 (42:10):
You get the Patrick, you get the Patrick treatment. That's
what happened with Patrick was blind.

Speaker 2 (42:14):
Because because if that habit bitch is.

Speaker 1 (42:17):
On side still ship and I hope I want to
say this not to cut you off, but I hope
Patrick lights that girl up on this reunion because she
tried to play like she wasn't racist, and she was,
but go off, oh yeah on my own.

Speaker 3 (42:30):
No, no, no, girl, because first of all, first of all, bitch,
I'm I'm not a dime.

Speaker 2 (42:35):
I'm not I'm a whole dog. I don't even don't
even like girl.

Speaker 3 (42:39):
Two dollars, okay, I'd be like, oh to YouTube, bitch,
So no, do the matchmakers work? So that's interesting you
asked it because like matchmaking, this is also like match
making in some cases is like there are many cultures
which matchmaking is just a lot, right, like any matchmaker.

Speaker 2 (42:54):
There was that Jewish mash massaging show and.

Speaker 3 (42:56):
Like like like like like culturally matchmaking is like a
thing for many people and cultures, and so I'm not
mad the idea. I do think they I think some
do work because like I think people do have a
skill or can cultivate a scale where it's like you
understand people based on their interest, right, But those people
and the masikers tell them you cannot go into this
like like you you can't you can't love about these

(43:19):
shows that the massicers will say, like you can't go
into this being like you can hear everything you want,
like you have to go in with this to being
open and compromising, like I can show you who is
a good match, but you have to believe it's a
good match for yourself, and you cannot and you and
you can't be like, well they're they're not good match
because they don't look the way the way I want.
I want them to look like that's not like like

(43:41):
like that's not how it works, and so I think
machicing can work. I would, I would, I would do
a master making show. I also I love the I
love the show I Kissed the Boy the UK show
because I think they're interesting because you start off the
show like like like like right, like like they're a match.
They're like matched by something. So it's a match for
your or a component. And then you meet your match

(44:02):
and you have to meet with the kiss. First you
meet with the kiss, and then you like chat and stuff,
and then like every week you decide are you my
match or you or or am I match.

Speaker 2 (44:11):
With somebody else?

Speaker 3 (44:11):
I think, And I think that's I think it's an
interesting show. Say, let the idea of like you come
in right because also like you want like at the
day physical intimacy is gonna be important, right, Like you
come in being like you know, like will I be
physically intimate with this person if we kiss?

Speaker 2 (44:25):
How's the kiss go?

Speaker 4 (44:26):
Right?

Speaker 3 (44:26):
And like you come think about that's not how they
look and how they are, and then you like yap
each other bit more right? I think I like the
second season more than like the more than like the
first season.

Speaker 2 (44:34):
I think.

Speaker 3 (44:34):
I'm sorry, no, yes, sir, I'm not trying to think
which way I watch now. I think I watched the
I think I watched two seasons. Okay, no, I forget now,
I think, yes, sorry, I'm like, what am I watch?
I'm I'm on my second season now. And I like
the first season a lot, So I want to say
because I think like it was just really interesting, Like
it was like all different people, some are like conventionally
hot and some are like not, and I think that

(44:56):
was really great and I love to see different bodies
show up. And also right like they still find each
other really a disagnle.

Speaker 2 (45:03):
I think that's really what saying, you.

Speaker 3 (45:05):
Know, after Reunion, there's one couple that, like, throughout the
whole show was like littod together for suore or forever,
and then they and then and then and then they
broke up and they made a point, right because in
the show, you're together in this villa and that but right,
and so they may point in the show of like
of like when we left the villain went to our lives,
it was hard to integrate. And I think that's like
super villains were honest, right, So I also think, like

(45:27):
to a point earlier about when watched these shows, we
watched the shows.

Speaker 2 (45:30):
That they're in.

Speaker 3 (45:31):
They're in like a lab, right, Like these things are
our lab, and no one's thinking about how this person
integrate back into Yeah, there's no there's no therapists, there's
no like, there's no like site, there's no like person
to help me that which they have the show to
be successful.

Speaker 2 (45:46):
They had that right like like like on I said, well, there's.

Speaker 3 (45:49):
Only one couple that like, and like they didn't get
together to like halfway the show and then they were
together for like a year and a half afterwards. They
actually broke up much later, but like they should. They
may work because they a lot about what is your
lives outside this felt because they were really mindful of
like this villa is cute and we love what weeah here,
but we know that we're made different, Like my life

(46:10):
is busy, can you keep up with that?

Speaker 2 (46:11):
My life is doing the like I think I think so.

Speaker 3 (46:14):
But I think I think I would do that show
because again, like I'm a communicated person. I would say listen,
I'm on upteenth boards and doing this much work like
I want. But if we live more than forty miles apart. Girl,
I won't see you the audi right, I want, I want,
I just want to see the option. Right if we
live ten miles apart, I'll see you every week or

(46:34):
something like. You know, I think yeah, so I think
it depends on the show. But I I I'm not
mad the idea of doing it. I don't like I
want to do this. There's the pitch. Are friend events
that I want to do. My friend like wants to
be okay, down for it, right, I'm down for that.

Speaker 1 (46:49):
Well if you, if you do do that, please invite
me because I'm I'm.

Speaker 2 (46:52):
If a bit you can match make me match Yeah?

Speaker 1 (46:54):
Please, I would love to be match made in terms
of like like bigger friendships and things, because you know
I'm always looking. Yeah, how you do it? Yeah, I'm
definitely big into that. I was going to say to
your point real quick and then and then we can wrap.
But I was gonna say, I think his name is
let me make sure to get his name right here.
This is me going into to Love is Blind. Love

(47:16):
Is Blind? Season nine. I love that everyone's doing this now.
People stop their show to google the names of people
and the names and stuff what's his name Aston? What's
his name is? Is that right? Joey? Joey is our
producer for those who are listening. A yeah, Anton and
Tom was his name, Ali and Anton. That's the reason

(47:37):
why they fell apart was because, uh is it Anton? Anton, Anton,
whatever his name is. But anyway, he they broke up
because Ali didn't like the fact that he was a basically,
and I don't say this to be demeaning, he was
a drunk. He drank a lot. He drank in the morning,

(47:57):
he drank in the afternoon, he drank in the evening,
and he genuinely okay, our producers saying they don't watch
the show, which I get it's not for everybody, but
I was gonna say that was that was the big
reason why I was When he was in the pods,
he was very oh, this is who I am. I'm
really bad. I'm about this about that. And then when
they got out of the pod, she was like, baby,

(48:18):
what happened to all of that beer that was in
the fridge? What happened to that half bottle of wine
of whiskey we had? And it's gone?

Speaker 4 (48:24):
You know?

Speaker 1 (48:24):
So like I think just his his his the way
that his world was around alcohol was not for her,
which I get because I'm also big on I'm not
a big drinker. I don't really care for being in
spaces with people who drink a lot, and that's why
I don't go to clubs. That's why I don't go
to bars. And so I think that for her there
was some there was some trauma there, and I think

(48:47):
that they didn't talk through that enough and that's initially
what made them what what broke them up. And so yeah,
I think you're right. I just think we you know,
I say this to say and like I said, and
then I'll wrap up. I think we really need to
be intentional about kind of like what I said in
our last segment, like what we need from people, and
knowing that a television show and an app is not

(49:09):
going to give that to us, and being very clear
on the idea of like this is how I want
to be loved and this is what I need to
be loved, and just recognizing that reality TV ain't all
of what it seems. But anyway, with that being said,
now that I've submitted my application for Joho to be
on a new season of Blind Date, that is for
people who are for a particular age. If you know,

(49:29):
you know, let us know if you know. But now
that they're on blind Date, we're going to take a
break and come back with what's popping in popul chair
back in a segment.

Speaker 3 (49:47):
And we are black Fan and we are five seconds
away from Halloween and this week want to talk a
little dabble and the spooky.

Speaker 2 (49:55):
But we're gonna do it fun today.

Speaker 3 (49:57):
I'm gonna ask us who in our opinions Underwade queer
horror I, which villains are our queer horror icons?

Speaker 2 (50:06):
We have a list.

Speaker 3 (50:07):
We have a list here, Okay, so I'm gonna go
down it.

Speaker 2 (50:10):
Let's talk about it. First ofs Baba Duke.

Speaker 1 (50:13):
Yes, the Bobba Duke. So did you want to tell
the Laura about why the Bobba Duke.

Speaker 2 (50:19):
Is okay queer?

Speaker 3 (50:20):
Because at first I was like why and prettucer Joey
buss Soul informed us that let apparently when the movie
came out, Netflix had put it under like LGQ movies.
My accident, it was like a glitch of the matrix
and they're like, oh my, it was so silly.

Speaker 2 (50:40):
Yeah, so that is like, so that's what happened.

Speaker 3 (50:43):
And then people were like, no, I'm all run with it.

Speaker 2 (50:46):
But then John Paul Brammer and uh, you know a writer.
I don't know what they were what they were for,
but they wrote.

Speaker 3 (50:55):
A story about that the Bobba Duke terrorizing Australian family
in the suburbs was an act of queer defiance and
I had no choice but to agree, like like I
have and like and and.

Speaker 2 (51:10):
I know the queers have loved the Babbadoo, so I'm like,
I'm here for it.

Speaker 7 (51:14):
Yeah, I agree, I agree, I agree to Next was
the yes.

Speaker 3 (51:21):
Now, let me first say this, if you saw the
new movies, It's one was fantastic. It too was interesting,
and it too open with a game. Ashcancyne to this
day did not love and thought that was the most
probably in my teeth thing I've ever seen in my life.

Speaker 2 (51:38):
Like I was, this is.

Speaker 3 (51:39):
Horrible, but I still was like, there's this clown is
like where I come for short.

Speaker 1 (51:44):
Like and I understand why it happened because it was
in the book. So I think they were trying to say,
with Stephen King's story about the issue of what queer
people are dealing with around their identity, which I get
I agree. I agree one hundred years Yeah, that was terrible,
but I also understand why it was there.

Speaker 2 (52:00):
Like I'm fine with fresh material, but it was just
so graphic.

Speaker 1 (52:03):
That was like the butcher sell this.

Speaker 3 (52:06):
About this whole ass game happened, you know, the the boyfriend.
But I think I think the clown is.

Speaker 2 (52:14):
A queer icon. No, she is like what gay, isn't
that clown? First of all? But just out here just
like humming down.

Speaker 3 (52:26):
People like like this clown is pure camp and I'm
like yeah, and.

Speaker 1 (52:33):
She also let's also talk about her fashions though, because
as much as she is scary and I'm not here
for her hair is laid honey, it was quofted. She
came out of that cave with a quofted look. She said, oh,
you're gonna get the dam and then she had that
big ass like uh what do you call that? That

(52:56):
like the the fluffy ruffle thing around her neck. This
is the fashion girl.

Speaker 2 (53:03):
Face is painted taking me down. But you are.

Speaker 3 (53:08):
Yes, said the best Victoria era. They got the but
they got the best human human.

Speaker 2 (53:16):
Uh you maan hear.

Speaker 3 (53:19):
They said, let me call my girl down the street
and say, yo, what what what's tea on this. Yes, yes,
it is a fashion girl and you know, you know
she goes down.

Speaker 1 (53:29):
Yes, yes, what house is she in? House of? What house?
The balloons here?

Speaker 2 (53:46):
Okay, next one said Chucky thoughts.

Speaker 1 (53:51):
So I came up with this one. I said, Chucky
is pan sexual. And I'll tell you why Chucky is
very much. She's just she's camp. Chucky is camp. Chucky
is So Chucky is one of those people that you like,
she's like me basically was it like teased a lot,
and so it's very quick with it, very snarky, very

(54:13):
like if you try to come at Chucky left, Chucky's
gonna have a really good response to you and very
quick with it. And that's what That's what just gives me.
Like Chucky's in the LGB, like the the Legibuti Qua.
She's a part of the Alphabet mafia in some way,
shape or form, because Chucky gives I all my life
I've had to fight and now I'm getting even Yeah,

(54:35):
that's what off my life I had to I can't
put my finger on it. But if you know, you know,
Chucky is is a part of the legitibt Kua and
I just don't know where what.

Speaker 3 (54:50):
Is more camp than that short ging t what's pretty camp? Yes,
he's pay and had a child.

Speaker 1 (54:57):
And inclusive list inclusive.

Speaker 3 (55:02):
If you don't care what you're gay, he'll kill you this, Yes,
is an equal opportunitist off everybody.

Speaker 1 (55:08):
Yeah, gay is not literally moving through life in that
way anyway, because we all ready to whoop everybody's assay.

Speaker 2 (55:18):
What gay is a doll?

Speaker 1 (55:19):
Very non binary coding very that is what.

Speaker 3 (55:22):
Are chucky is the dolls that we have to protect
the dolls.

Speaker 2 (55:26):
They mean chucky.

Speaker 1 (55:27):
Protect the dolls. They need chucky. Yes, the clip, that
is the cl they say, protect the dolls, they mean chucky.
I know that's right.

Speaker 2 (55:42):
Yes, yes, okay. Nexless is vampires.

Speaker 3 (55:46):
No, I feel like I don't feel I feel like so.
Vampires have always been a little gay because they are. Yeah,
they are her second ship up.

Speaker 2 (56:00):
But you love buying second ship, you little nasty freak.

Speaker 3 (56:04):
They they they they hate being on the daytime. They
love they love, they love beyond night. Doesn't like vampires.

Speaker 2 (56:12):
Are specifically gay. Man.

Speaker 3 (56:13):
They love about the rum, the streets. They never be up,
never want to be up in the daytime. They love
darkness and a little and little coffin. Now people are
another thinking of the interview interview with a vampire game, right,
that's like that's like that's fair too, right, But like
I think I think all vampires a little gay.

Speaker 1 (56:32):
Yeah, I think I actually support that notion. I believe
that most vampires, especially the male like spect Yeah, gotta
drap yah like Dracula. She was, Yeah, she was a
she drag Dracula. I think she walked a couple of
a couple of balls balls.

Speaker 2 (56:51):
Yeah, I think she gave mm hmmm, I think she gave.

Speaker 1 (56:57):
Yes, that's what would Dracula's category B. That is a
good question.

Speaker 3 (57:04):
You. They walk faced because it always look good, Yes,
hard enough to climb.

Speaker 2 (57:08):
The skin's always skidding.

Speaker 1 (57:10):
Even though it's a little pale.

Speaker 2 (57:12):
Uh huh yes, yeah, well yes, well yes.

Speaker 3 (57:19):
Walk.

Speaker 2 (57:20):
I think they can queen realness, fame, queen sex suren because.

Speaker 1 (57:25):
They syen Okay, okay, okay, it's.

Speaker 3 (57:28):
A little sexist. Yes, yes, yes, yes, they were. They
they they've walked a few shows. They've they've judged a
few shows as well too.

Speaker 2 (57:37):
Okay, I live, I live.

Speaker 3 (57:39):
The next one that John's not familiar with, which is
Jeffer's body, which is is it's it's it's it's a
niche if you know, you know. But Megan Fox, queer
BiCon in this movie movie.

Speaker 2 (57:51):
Is so queer. I cannot tell you what.

Speaker 3 (57:54):
Megan Fox is the tucubist, which is like some people's dream.
People love Megan Fox, were love is. She was a
little set that would eat you alive. She ate, she eats,
she goes, she this girl wants to a bar, is
sacrificed by a band, comes from the live ccubist eats
the band up and then starts and then and then
starts murdering all the guys in the school that makes up,

(58:16):
makes up with her bestie and men freed and then
the trust to eat man's boyfriend.

Speaker 2 (58:22):
And then is like, you're so obsessed with me?

Speaker 1 (58:25):
So wait, is she a vampire?

Speaker 2 (58:26):
She's a cucubist.

Speaker 1 (58:27):
A succubist. Okay, well a little.

Speaker 2 (58:30):
Demon, a little one that someone that takes the men.

Speaker 3 (58:38):
Uh you know, okay, okay, yes, my heart.

Speaker 2 (58:43):
Take the next one. My heart take is this ghost
face to me on which is d L trade right.

Speaker 3 (58:51):
I know people who love scream will be like, this
is not no screams camp as fu. First of all
is second of all like you have always you have
always like deranged, all men like that that that try
to kill people. Why because they're oppressed, because they love
each other, because because they are manyssesses with men.

Speaker 2 (59:06):
They wan't tell you, they want to tell you about it.

Speaker 3 (59:08):
That's why three ghose Face loves loves a dramatic, intense worry.
He won't shake a bitch once. He'll shake a bitch
like twenty four times. He'll stop, stop, stop, baho until.

Speaker 2 (59:18):
They are done. He wants it to be messy and bloody.
And I said, oh, that's obviously d ill trained.

Speaker 3 (59:23):
Okay, he said you because he he can't paint, so
he'll splatter.

Speaker 2 (59:28):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (59:28):
Did you have you seen the clip of ghost Face
chasing that lady through her house and in the background
it's playing House Tour by Sabrina cow.

Speaker 2 (59:39):
Please please please.

Speaker 1 (59:44):
I yes, I saw that. That said that is actually
fucking genius. Please somebody, I have to find that. I
have to find a Lincoln send it to you. But
there is a clip that someone customized of this woman
running through the house in one of the and basically
when they get to the third floor, he throws her
over the balcony and it's to Sabrina Carpenter's House Tour perfect.

(01:00:07):
But I was gonna also say so, I know some
people may probably come up come for us about talking
about DL trade and being repressed. I will just say
I think so. What I will say about that is
there actually has been conversations about that online. Two of
the actors from the very First Scream said that they

(01:00:27):
said that they were a gay couple and the reason
why they were both ghost face was because of the
issues that they were having around their own identity and
their sexuality. And that's what they believed is the whole
screen franchise is about. It's about men specifically who have
a very hard time. So before y'all come for us
and say, oh, it's another no, Actually, there have been
actors who are connected to the screen franchise who has

(01:00:49):
said that is exactly what screen is about.

Speaker 2 (01:00:51):
So okay, okay, I'm just saying it makes sense to me.

Speaker 1 (01:00:56):
Yeah, it was very very real.

Speaker 2 (01:00:58):
It makes a lot of Next, is Freddy Krueger. Yes,
because only a gay will kill you in your dreams?

Speaker 1 (01:01:04):
Yes?

Speaker 2 (01:01:04):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (01:01:05):
Also Camp, also Camp with the fucking twelve foot long nails.

Speaker 1 (01:01:10):
Yeah, my mother mother, stay with a fresh set. She said,
you're not gonna catch.

Speaker 3 (01:01:15):
Me off slice honestly, mindserration, I get my nose done.
People like, oh, they're away so sharp because I'm spied.

Speaker 2 (01:01:22):
With my girl. Freddy Krueger.

Speaker 1 (01:01:23):
Yeah, okay, hey with a fresh set.

Speaker 3 (01:01:26):
Freddie Gugre is a girl who could who I'm sorry
I say it. Freddy Heugre is a girl who would,
who always get rich, young grinder.

Speaker 2 (01:01:35):
And they said, no, what, I'll get you your dreams
and said I catch you.

Speaker 1 (01:01:38):
I'll catch you in your sleep.

Speaker 2 (01:01:40):
Oh okay, okay, I'll grind you up. Then, Yeah, that's fine.

Speaker 1 (01:01:43):
Yep, you if you if you want it, you can
have it.

Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
I know. They said, no fat, no fans, no Freddies.

Speaker 1 (01:01:48):
Yep, ma'am.

Speaker 2 (01:01:51):
Period, nobody's ma'am. That was that? Are we here?

Speaker 1 (01:01:56):
What? How did we get here? This is all your.

Speaker 3 (01:01:59):
Faulty almost done, all your fault.

Speaker 1 (01:02:01):
I'm literally looking at my producer and going, this is
all your fault. Joey.

Speaker 3 (01:02:05):
My last one, My last one is going to Be's family.

Speaker 2 (01:02:10):
And this is the shout out to Joey.

Speaker 3 (01:02:11):
This one because Adam, Joey's the Ada's family that Marticia
and Gummaz are the original tea for Tea company, so dumb.
That's nothing else to say.

Speaker 2 (01:02:24):
That's the sorry.

Speaker 1 (01:02:25):
Yeah, literally, the Adams family is definitely given teeth for Tea.
And I did not see that until until Joey said it.
Until he said and I definitely was like, I didn't know. Yeah,
I'm right there with him. I will also say, so,
it's funny that we're having this conversation because I was
telling you in our in our pre meeting that I
was actually watching Cheapers Creepers to last night, and I

(01:02:45):
was saying that I think Cheapers Creepers is also another
queer a queer cannon or there's something. There's queer codedness there.
I call them big jeeps, but big Jeeps is definitely there.
It's he's he's in the like I said, he's in
the Mafia legend bt kwah, He's somewhere in there. But honestly,

(01:03:06):
it's also a little gross because in the first see
the first the first season, the first film, he was
sniffing then people's clothes and he sniffed that boy's underwear,
and it's just kind of gross. Like if you watch
the second one, how he stops young men and how
he went after those young men on that bus and
the second one, and so it's just very much giving

(01:03:26):
Kevin Spacey and I watched Jeepers Creepers, and I'm like,
I don't know how to fall about all this anymore. So, yeah,
this is a choice. Whoever wrote this, this was a choice.
So I definitely want to shout out big Jeeps because
I don't want big Jeeps coming after me. But I
definitely do recognize that big Jeeps has got has got

(01:03:47):
things that they need to work through. We definitely need
to get big Jeeps some creep big Jeeps. We need
to get them some help. That's definitely what we need
to do. But yes, this was fun, This was.

Speaker 2 (01:03:57):
This was this was this was a ride.

Speaker 3 (01:04:00):
If you have some more thoughts listeners about who's a
queer icon villain body and the horror class seats, please
let us know, please. Until then, we gotta go. We
gotta take one more break to pray for ourselves. And
I've been some holy water and our bellies because that
was a lot of a demonic shit. We'll be back

(01:04:20):
with there, yes, with your with your my pans in
just the said.

Speaker 1 (01:04:24):
All right, so this week mine are quick. I know
I've been saying that the last couple of weeks, and
they have not been quick, but these are very quick.
So I will say this that this week for my yes, ma'am.
I just wanted to say, for the people who thought
fat meat wasn't greasy, we're here. The government is shut down,

(01:04:48):
a lot of people are not getting their aid, a
lot of people can't work. This man is tearing up
the White House. It's an accurate representation of what is
happening in America right now is what we see happening
at the White House. It's just right now, it's a
shit show. And a lot of people are turning and going, oh,
I didn't know he was gonna do this, and I go, no,
he told you exactly all he's gonna do. We all

(01:05:09):
knew it. We've been saying it three years. We all
saw it coming, and y'all y'all thought it wasn't going
to come for you, and now it's at your door.
And I just I'm I like, as much as I
want to be joking about, and I'm sending a lot
of prayers out to people. And I don't say that
to be facetious. I really am. I'm really worried for
a lot of people because like the holidays are coming

(01:05:31):
and people don't have food, and people don't have access
to cash, and what are people going to do to
take care of what their livelihood is? You know, there's
only so much resources that we have because this government
has already taken a lot of these resources away, and
it's scary. It's really scary to think about where we
could potentially be in the next couple of months, considering

(01:05:52):
everything that's already happening right now. So I just feel bad.
I just feel really really bad. And it and it
and it really gotta I mean, I don't even want
to say that's a yes, ma'am. I'm just like I
think for me, it's like, and I know this is
a really shitty way. My yes, ma'am is really you
know what, the people who are on the right side.

(01:06:12):
Shout out to y'all who are fighting and doing the work,
but also to the people who you know, thought this
wasn't going to come for them. Here we are, So
take that. How you take it, feel how you feel
about it. It is what it is, my no man, Pam.
So I just want to say people who park like jerks.
I was at a conference this week, I had a
rental car. I had a situation with the man who

(01:06:32):
parked next to my rental car. I won't really get
into the full qualms of what happened and what was said,
but I just I my biggest thing was and this
is what I told him. I said, well, if you
didn't park like a jerk, we wouldn't be in this situation,
right and and that that's that's the end of it.
And that's the thing, like park like a regular person
like I don't. I've said this before, people who back in,

(01:06:52):
You take all this time to back in, Why when
you could just pull into the parking spot and save
everybody sometime, Like, just don't be a parking jerk. That's it.
That's really it. So what are your yes ma'am's and
no mans for this week?

Speaker 3 (01:07:06):
My s ma'am's are well, So that's what I was
by no man first, because it's also where they shut
down just like the of the you know how it's
risking snap and snap and food.

Speaker 2 (01:07:18):
Stamp benefits for people in calt Fresher, California.

Speaker 3 (01:07:20):
Like it's just really it's it's just it's like just speakable, really,
how a government claims that it supports the people, and
I think every day in the government is a constant,
constant revelation that they hate us and want us to suffer.
And so it's a hum haramma shut down still because

(01:07:43):
it's the longest. It's the second longest, second longestment shut
down in history. And you very will be uh going
for the first to first for first place soon. But yes,
ma'am to the people who are organizing now mutual a
that's what I mean to say, which is really special
and amazing, and I'm happy that I believe California is

(01:08:07):
like is like using some money or funding to help
support people as well too, which is a privilege. I'm
as much as I just spend it with California is
I'm culturing I like, I love. I appreciate living in
a state that does try harder than most states to
take care of people. And I appreciate that a lot too.

(01:08:27):
I think us Mama is gonna be also CURDI b
because miss Mom was just having a year. She's just
having a year and it's just a silly year, and
she's giving me everything that I need and more out
of it, like her trial, her beef with Nikki her
beef with the the way John, the way, fol folks

(01:08:49):
who don't know my costume there, my costume is Cardi
B during her trial.

Speaker 2 (01:08:54):
I know no one aware I need about the wigs
the way. I'm so excited John.

Speaker 3 (01:08:58):
To be with you and the respond to you in
Cardi B phrases, I am so.

Speaker 2 (01:09:04):
God even excited.

Speaker 1 (01:09:06):
Yeah, just.

Speaker 2 (01:09:08):
Well you have your metalworkers, right, Yeah, you have metalworkers.

Speaker 1 (01:09:12):
Yeah that was.

Speaker 2 (01:09:14):
The time I was pregnant.

Speaker 1 (01:09:18):
Hello, so stupid. What I was gonna also say to
your point, so I know people may get confused because
so basically my I don't really have a yes ma'am
this this week. Both of mine were no man's. I
should be very clear on that. But I was also
going to say, my yes, ma'am actually really is to
the people who see people who are going to be

(01:09:41):
looting or stealing food or doing what they need to do,
and they say, no, you didn't them with the people
that I'm here for. Shout out to the folks who
are doing whatever they can to support folks in this moment.
That's what I ultimately really wanted to say. But yeah,
it's it's it's it's you know, this government it what
a time to be alive. Like I've been saying that

(01:10:03):
in so many different ways, and I'm like, and I
think the thing that really gets me is we are
only literally ten months into this, like ten months, and
it feels like we've lived for five years? Am I wrong?
Am I wrong in feeling that? Like I feel like
it has.

Speaker 2 (01:10:23):
Been I'm like, we have three more years of this president.
It's been literally only in months we have we have.

Speaker 3 (01:10:29):
Three more, hopefully just from my years and nothing more,
but like, we have three more years of.

Speaker 1 (01:10:34):
This and the gag and the gag is is that
every terrible thing that has happened in the last couple
of the like the first government shut down happened during
his presidency. This is the second time that it has
happened in his presidency. So it's like, yeah, I just
don't comprehend what people don't see. But hey, you know,
if you like my mom used to say, if you
like it, I love it. Anyway. God, it's hard. It's hard.

(01:11:01):
I will say this before we close. It's hard to
try to be like we'll be all right, everything's gonna
be okay, We're gonna get through this. Like it's just
I think it's becoming more and more harder for folks
to like do that, and so like, I'm not gonna
even pretend like this everything that's happening in this world
is not impacting me either, because there have been days
I've literally just laid in bed and I've looked at

(01:11:22):
the ceiling, like I don't know what the fuck we're
going to do, and I think everyone's feeling it. So
we're hoping that you can get you know, And that's
why I think I love that we can come here
and laugh, Like I'm hoping that our listeners can come
to the show, listen to us and laugh as well.
You know, we've got to like laugh is a form
like laughter and enjoy is a form of resistance. And yeah,

(01:11:45):
I'm praying that the show continued to be that for
a lot of people, because it is so fucking hard
right now to be an American. It is so hard
to be an American right now. So anyway, all that
to be said, we would love to hear your thoughts.
We would love to hear your yes ma'am or no ma'ms.
You know what things you check, things that you don't,
whatever the case may be, Send them over to us.
You can put them in our inbox, or you can

(01:12:07):
send them to blackfatfempod domail dot com. If you also
just need you know, some uplift mint, I don't know
if that's the right word. If you need to be
uplifted and you're feeling a certain type of way and
you want us to you know, shout you out on
the air, or you want us to just send you
some love, feel free to drop that dime in the box.

Speaker 2 (01:12:25):
Two.

Speaker 1 (01:12:25):
I will say this, we are not therapists, so please
don't tell us all of your all of the stuff
going on with you, you know. But but also if you need,
you know, I will say this. So we had a listener.
I don't I don't want to. I'm not gonna call
them out, but I had a listener reach out to
me and say, hey, I'm looking for a black therapist
and I've been struggling to find one who can you know,
work with me remotely. Do you have any suggestions? And

(01:12:47):
I was able to send them some recommendations. And so
that's the kind of stuff that that we love over
here at Black Fat Femily. Like me, we we love
to know that we can support y'all. In whatever ways
that we can. We're not rich, I will say that
very upfront. Some people will hit us up and be like,
hen you donate and give me. Nope, we ain't got
it like that. But what we can do is we
can try to help you find resources and try to

(01:13:09):
help you feel like you have a community that's supporting you.
So if you need that right now, please feel free
to reach out to us via you know, like I said,
our inbox, or feel free to send us a message
and we can do what we can. Interact with us
on Instagram and Threads by using the handle at Black
fatfem Pod Queen Joho. Where can the dolls find you
as we're trying to survive and stay happy and alive?

Speaker 3 (01:13:30):
Of course you can find me at Joho Down's across
all socials, my motherside jour nails dot com. If not there,
you can find me laughing on Instagram or watching my
new subsession, The Morning Show on Apple TV. This show
is so I'm into it. Oh my god, I'm sad
I'm watching them. I'm watched all three seasons this weekend.
I'm so thrilled for it.

Speaker 1 (01:13:49):
Is the show over?

Speaker 2 (01:13:51):
Uh no, sorry, just okay, just the things that are
out currently.

Speaker 1 (01:13:55):
Okay, okay, I was trying to say, and I was like,
I don't know I even hear it was anything. Okay, great, Yeah,
I watched the first season. I didn't really get into
the second season. I should have, but I didn't. But yeah,
I can't concur that the first season was really good
and and then I just kind of fell off. But
what I will tell you that is really good if
you are an Apple TV Girly Invasion is fantastic. Oh yes,
and it has what is her name? From Living Single

(01:14:18):
is in this new season. The one who played uh,
the one with the braids, Max Maxine Yea. Erica Alexander
is in. Yes, my love is in this season, and
so if you really want to watch that, you will
enjoy it. As for me, you can find more details

(01:14:41):
about my book. If you're interested in doing a book talk,
if you want to book us for a live podcast,
whatever the case may be, hit us up Doctor John
Paul dot com, send us an email. We would love
to hit you in person. We would love to do
something in person. You can also find me on social
at doctor John Paul. Buy my book, Tell your mom,
your mom, your uncle, Yapaul to buy the book is well.
If you want to see me talk more about why

(01:15:02):
this podcast is important, head down to ABC watch Our
America who I meant to be. Other than that, we
want to thank our super producer Joey pat for making
this shit pop every single week down to the iHeartMedia,
and we also want to thank them for keeping the
show up and running because let me tell you, girl,
they are laying people off and they are also canceling shows,

(01:15:22):
and I am very grateful. My god, I am grateful
that they are keeping this up and running. So I
just want to say thank you. I appreciate you, thank you,
Thank you Jesus. With that being said, we want to
say thank you tar wonderful editor Chris Rogers, because without him,
we would not have no audio or visuals down to

(01:15:44):
the tubes of you without being said, stay black, fat,
fem and fabulous, and remember what Jojo.

Speaker 3 (01:15:51):
We may not be a cup of tea girl, but
it's spook sysus to drink some blood instide.

Speaker 2 (01:15:55):
Okay, are yes, he.

Speaker 1 (01:15:57):
Had little little bloody on marry Yeah, oh you could
just what else? So pumpkin spice, Pumpkin spices time, It's
always time. Get married, do all of those things. I
love us for real, See you next week.

Speaker 2 (01:16:17):
Bye h

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