You, Me & Dupree (Featuring Dr. James Q. Simmons)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
The Book Fat Fem Podcast is a production of iHeartRadio
and Doctor John Paul LLC. Hey everyone, welcome to another
episode of the Book Fiffem Podcast where all the intersections
of the Dandiyar celebrated. I am one of your hosts, John,
I was gonna ask the John Paul and while you
were outside trying to figure out if your little Boo
Boo is or isn't a lafu fou, I was in

(00:22):
Vegas answering the question that everyone in the Beehive has
been asking, Can you, in fact keep up last last week?
I did. In fact, I only get the blessing of
Shaboozie at my show. He was only on stage for
ten seconds. Literally, he came in, he did like a

(00:42):
quick trot and then he like went away, and I
was like, that's all we go get, but it's like okay.
And then jay Z came out and I was like, boom, tomato, Tomato, tomato,
because you know I feel about j Z. I'm not
a huge fan of jay Z. But then Tanitria and
Calandria came out, and my god, my god, I almost
dropped my phone sending me I literally almost dropped my

(01:05):
phone because they were asking the questions that matter. Can
you make me lose my breath? My god, what a moment,
What a moment. So we speak your name, DC three.
Thank you for giving me the best birthday gift that
one could have asked for. But anyway, how are you,
queen Toho?

Speaker 2 (01:25):
I am so happy for you.

Speaker 3 (01:26):
John, Like when iwashion period period, when I saw this,
I said, oh, bit wow, wow, like I cannot imagine.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
I could not envision like the joy.

Speaker 4 (01:41):
The spear of the man move moved through you like
I I literally was like, is Yan even alive anymore?

Speaker 1 (01:45):
I was literally well, I was bad. There was part
of that fucking fire.

Speaker 4 (01:55):
Yeah, I imagine the dollars barking, girl, The dolls was barking.

Speaker 2 (01:58):
The look was the years.

Speaker 1 (02:00):
Oh thank you.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
I appreciate that. I was way.

Speaker 4 (02:04):
I'm trying to be honest, didn't stop the show and
be like I'll see you girl.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
Yeah a lot of people don't know, but I actually
made the little puffy So I bought the boots and
then I took the so I took two leg warmers
and then I had to cut them, and then I
had to glue them together. And then I like literally
reglued them to make them look like a full long
set because you can't buy well, you can, but I

(02:32):
just didn't know where to find long like those kind
of leg warmers, and so I just I was like,
I'll just get very much. I'll jump into my RuPaul's
drag race bag and I just started cutting and hot
gluing like Jiggly Colly and we speak your name and
we uplift you rest in peace, mamas. But I definitely
got into my jiggly Collie with the hot glue because
I can't sew. I don't know how to sew the

(02:52):
same stress. But I am not. But I'm look, I'm
so cute and.

Speaker 2 (03:00):
Jealous of you.

Speaker 4 (03:01):
Thank you mishagol joho or joining every time my checks
or if you give me food because the girls amen, Amen, and.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
TV today say John, I I hate everyone. That's fair.

Speaker 4 (03:14):
I hate I hate everyone.

Speaker 5 (03:19):
I hate, I hate.

Speaker 4 (03:20):
Every sign, I hate, I hate children, I hate dogs,
not the dog. I just everybody can get the smoke
everybody want by every hoe on site.

Speaker 1 (03:32):
Like that's fair.

Speaker 2 (03:33):
Definitely today. But happy to be here with you, girl.
I was always happy.

Speaker 1 (03:38):
Yes, well this week we have someone in our third seat,
which I'm so so awesome, Like I'm always so awestruck
of them, and I'm always so grateful when they say
that they are going to like when they actually say
yes to wanting to be on the show, because literally,
trying to catch them is like trying to catch a POKEMONA.
They do everything and they be everywhere, honey. But this
week we are centering the entire well, I'm gonna take

(03:58):
you the entire most of the actually though, hold on
if we really want to talk about it. Our segment
three is about mental health because the person we're talking
about is not well. So yes, we are centering our
entire show around health, mental health, how to take care
of yourself, how not to be unwell. And I said,

(04:20):
you know, self, this would be a great time to
call your sister back and a fan favorite to the show.
A lot of folks may or may not know, but
this person was on a couple of months ago and
a lot of people loved the information that they offered,
and so we were like, let's bring them back. So
that way, you know, we have an actual you know,
doctor nurse in here, and so y'all may know him

(04:41):
as doctor nurse, but I call him my sister, my BFF,
one of my sisters bfs and if and if you will,
one of the one main reasons I keep going in
this musty ass business of creatordom. James is usually the
person who was always pushing me to go forward and
to keep going and doing what I need to do.
They are known as the most sought after medical expert

(05:02):
in the media. I just watched the clip of them
getting somebody together around detoxing and water and all of that.
That was a really cute clip because you gathered mama.
Mama thought she had you, and you gathered the hell
out of her, and I said, that's my sister doing
the Lord's work. They have the uncanny ability to just
speil complex and complicated concepts, which I think is so
needed in this world because so many of us take

(05:24):
what we see on social media and we run with it.
And James is so good at being like, nope, let's
get this shit together, let me get you right, and
so a lot of what they share I think it's
not only just informative, but it's also funny. I just
I just really wish everyone knew who doctor James was,
and so I'm so grateful that they're here. Doctor James Q. Simmons,
Welcome back to the show. I know I just saw you.

Speaker 6 (05:45):
My good day, my dear.

Speaker 1 (05:48):
It's so good to have you all right.

Speaker 6 (05:49):
First of all, thank you so much for having me.
Thank you so much for having me back. I am
always always happy to be here with the BFFs. But wait,
I'm gonna take you everywhere with me to introduce me.
Next time I go to Popeye's, I'm walking and you're
gonna come with me so everybody knows who the f

(06:10):
I be is. Yes, yes, that introduction. Thank you very much.

Speaker 1 (06:15):
One thing I can do is write an intro. I'm
gonna tell you right now. My writing skills kicking whenever
I start to like introduce people or write things about people,
because I'm like, let me, let me pick up all
the things that people need to know about them.

Speaker 6 (06:28):
But yes, I mean, my goodness, thank you very much.
By the way, did you see I wanted to ask you.
Did you see when uh Kelly told the crowd to shut.

Speaker 1 (06:39):
Up, to shut the fuck up? She sure did, and
the said shut up and then winked at him, and
I said, oh, that was such a lovable wink. But
she was so serious.

Speaker 6 (06:48):
No, h ain't. He was real serious. Yeah, she actually
was like, no, y'all need to shut up.

Speaker 1 (06:54):
So, as someone who was there, you know, I will
say this. It was like, y'all were on the Renaissance tour.
Y'all know what, y'all know what this is. So I'm
standing around and I'm looking at people who are like
having full blown conversations during the mute challenge, and I'm
looking and I'm going everybody, and Beyonce literally stood there
until everybody shut the fuck up. But y'all know this, like,

(07:17):
don't act brand new love.

Speaker 2 (07:18):
Folks at Compic Carter were not the restaurance tour. I realized.

Speaker 4 (07:23):
There are many folks that many folks that were God,
they're like, oh I missed restaurantces. I just see it
the Carter to and I was like, you missed ras
Sonce girl? How you?

Speaker 2 (07:31):
How did you?

Speaker 1 (07:31):
What? Like?

Speaker 2 (07:32):
How did you miss that one?

Speaker 1 (07:34):
And girls were just there to say they were there,
But it was really annoying and you could definitely tell that.
I don't know how. I mean, I really couldn't see
Michelle's face that well, but I after seeing the clip
of Kelly, I'm like, that actually makes a lot of
sense why it felt like the mute challenge was almost
two minutes because they literally were like waiting for people
to like, it was a long it was a huge pause.

(07:55):
It was a long pause.

Speaker 6 (07:57):
Very she literally they literally were paused for like twenty seconds. Yeah,
then told him to shut up.

Speaker 1 (08:03):
Yep.

Speaker 6 (08:04):
So yeah, it was they were still paused because Beyonce
was really trying to give him a chance. She really
was trying to give them a chance.

Speaker 1 (08:09):
It was the people up in the three hundred and
four hundreds that wouldn't be quiet TVH because I know
everybody in my section was we were on the shit,
but everybody on the floor was very very quiet, and
even my friend. I looked at because my friend and
go to Renaissance, and she was like, what's going on?
And I said, baby, it's a challenge, and she literally
just she was like okay, and so she literally just
put her head down. And then that's when they were

(08:31):
doing with that. She did know. She was praying, oh yeah,
she was like oh, Like I was like, Bree, like
you got to be quiet now, girl. She was like,
oh okay, okay, and so yeah, so that that literally
did happen, and I'm not even joking, but there are
a lot of people around me who still kept talking.
But overall, like I said, it was a great show.
I'm not gonna spend too much time on it because

(08:51):
I'm pretty sure everybody in there, my mown social media
has already had their thoughts about it, but it was
just it was a overall the energy in the space
was really really good. I initially was going to take
a lot of time to really just talk about Cowboy Carter,
but I don't really feel like. I mean, we talked
about it, and if you want to go back to
the episode, you all can, but I definitely will say
that I think the concert really was what a lot

(09:13):
of us needed right now, and I think a lot
of folks who went were fed in different ways, in
so many different ways. So during my yes, ma'am, I
will probably get into a tidbit more of what I
where I want to go with that. But anyway, with
that being said, we are going to kick off our
show like we always do, giving Miss Tisha Campbell her flowers. Also,
I know Miss Tisha does podcasts. I have seen her

(09:36):
around doing her rounds, so I'm gonna need her to
come over to the Black fetfam, so we can uplift
and celebrate her and her legacy because we love her
over here. But with that being said, we're going to
kick off this week, and the question that I wanted
to ask both of you is what is a health
related or medical ideology that you find, or maybe that
you might think is rooted in white supremacy that you

(09:57):
are actively working daily to unlearn. And so I know,
for me, I am really working through and I'm still
having my own thoughts about it, but this idea of
how so many of us are kind of regressing back
to the idea of needing to be skinny in order
for us to be well. And even in spaces like
I'm not always in a space where you know that

(10:19):
that's kind of the message, but I'm still you still
get tinges of it. You still get tinges of people
kind of playing with your mind around the way your
body looks and how you feel and things of that nature. So,
especially being on my peloton bike more, I'm noticing that
even what do you call that. The folks who did
the actual rides, they used to be real good about
not trying to say things about the body or about

(10:42):
how the body looks and I'm noticing they're starting to
lean on that a little bit more and I'm like, uh,
it's got to them too, and so it's starting to
kind of come through. But I definitely just want to
say I'm really working hard to remind myself that skinny
does not equal healthy. I know the medical industry continues
to try to sell that idea that if you're than
that you're actually healthy. But I know a lot of
skinny people who are very sick, and they're sick for

(11:04):
different reasons. But I definitely want to say like that
before I get on my soapbucks. That's the one thing
I really just want folks to really start understanding. While
the world has gone back to trying to sell this
idea that being skinny is in fact going to make
your life better, I'm working to daily to remind myself
that my life is actually just fine the way that
it is, that my size is not a dict like,

(11:25):
it doesn't dictate the way my life is better, quote unquote,
and so I'm really trying to push that. But Joho,
what are your thoughts? And then, James, I would love
to hear yours.

Speaker 4 (11:34):
You know, I think for me, like the physical health
is the only health that actually that matters, like I
think like and like and not like overly like physical
health is important entirely, but I think it's framed as
only how that matters to people and like and only
in the past few years have you seen or I've
seen more mental and emotional health being discussed for broadly

(11:54):
and healthcare settings. You know, like I started yoga and
meditation ofs eighteen and that was only because, like I
had a friend.

Speaker 2 (12:02):
Who did yoga as well too. That's a practice often
in more Eastern cultures.

Speaker 4 (12:06):
How different life could be if we were all doing
these tools by our providers as a comprehensive healthcare model
when we were like children. And so I think, yeah,
I think people and obviously right, so many people are
push about their weight loss or muscle management, all these things,
and like great live I love that, love that for
drinking for you, but like no one talks about that.
If you are mentally on a great place, you can

(12:28):
even focus. I'll make your own piscical health, like you
can if you're if you're burnt out or stressed, it's
hard to even focus on how do you go for
a walk?

Speaker 1 (12:35):
Right?

Speaker 4 (12:35):
If if you're experiencing high anxiety then like then you
can't even you can't even go outside some days.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
And so I think, like I think, you know.

Speaker 4 (12:44):
To me, uh an ideology that's that was like for
those like that's being fed to us often is that physical,
physical something that matters and there aren't and there aren't
the factors that surround it.

Speaker 2 (12:54):
And I wish that there was more more care, more
attention to that.

Speaker 1 (12:57):
M mm hmmm. Yeah, what about you, James.

Speaker 6 (13:00):
You know you asked this question and that there's a
word that kind of popped into my brain and I'm
not You're gonna have to humor me a little bit
because I'm gonna need to give it a little context.
But the word deserve, I think black and brown people,
I think us fat people, I think us queer people

(13:22):
have don't have this ingrained in us that we deserve
to be healthy m h and and that we like
we we often don't even know how to attain it.

Speaker 1 (13:34):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (13:35):
I'll tell you the number of patients that I work
with in or out of the hospital, online, whatever, that
have never even like the thought process hasn't even crossed
their mind that they like deserve to be a healthy person.
And then live a long, healthy life. We just don't
have a lot of models of that. And I think,

(13:55):
you know, you brought up like the white supremacy of
it all. I think there's a lot of us per
particularly white people with with even money, a little bit
of money, but like middle class and higher like sort
of cis. White folks have an expectation that they deserve
to be healthy, right right, and you're gonna do what
you need to do to make sure that they're healthy.

Speaker 1 (14:16):
And they're going to make sure they're doctors and there.

Speaker 4 (14:19):
I don't even I don't even know if we know
that we deserve adequate care, and like that's adequate care,
not like good care, but like basic care. Some of
us are conditionally that we don't even deserve to have
basic care because of the experiences before us. I think
a lot about when my dad likes only he deserves
have good care, bes he didn't trust a doctor, and
so how does he deserves to have good care if

(14:41):
we can't even trust a doctor to give him accurate support.

Speaker 6 (14:43):
Yeah, and that there's this whole you know, it happens,
It happens often. It's happened to me in the past week,
where where someone is being demanding and that person is white,
and they're like, oh, well, they're just concerned about their
health care. They have a lot of questions. And if
someone is black and they're demanding about healthcare, they're difficult.

Speaker 1 (15:01):
They're an annoyance, They're difficult. Yep.

Speaker 6 (15:04):
And that well, hold one sis deserves the same love
and care and attention. And it circles back all the
way to the and I know this is not the
focus of the conversation, but it circles all the way
back to the issue of there are you know, five
percent of physicians in the United States are black, six
percent of nurses in the United States are black, and
were we represent anywhere between thirteen and fifteen percent of

(15:26):
the population depending on the task. And obviously black folks
are not getting the care that they need from black folks, right.
So the language that goes into that, the cultural nuance
that goes into that, and that is before we even
get to our Latino brothers and sisters, our Indigenous brothers
and sisters. Are folks who are disabled brothers and sisters, Like,

(15:48):
don't get me started on any of that. And so
if the hierarchical healthcare system built on the backs of
white supremacy ain't taking care of everybody else. Mm hmmm,
why he why are we surprised? And b yeah, why
are we surprised that we it was not in our
child I mean, the only reason it was in my
childhood of this because my mom was a nurse, right right, right, Well,

(16:11):
you know, I had asthma, really a bad it as
a kid, in and out of hospitals whatever, and she's like,
oh no, we're gonna, We're gonna get this asthma taken
care of, right right. But what I did learn from
my dad's side of the family and and the folks
in the neighborhood was like that you get to do that.
That you are a deserving human being to have a
fully healthy lived life, and that just that like sits

(16:32):
in my core as a part of my like daily
health care practice.

Speaker 1 (16:36):
Like, hey, you're paying and it's very much a white thing,
you know, And I don't say this to harp on
white people, but it's very much a white thing of
I'm paying for service, so I should get the quality
of service that I'm paying for. I don't feel like
we give that a lot to black and brown people,
right when we're talking about who has medical care coverage
and who doesn't, and all of these different ways that

(16:58):
white supremacy shows up in that way of like, you know,
white people are gonna demand a certain quality of care
in regardless of wherever they are because they feel like
it's old to them because I've paid for it, right,
And I don't know, it's just it's an inherent thing.
But I will say this, So I actually sent a
clip to my mom and I still have it. I'm
gonna I'll probably go it. I'll share it with folks

(17:20):
in the show notes, so that way folks can actually
go over and click on it. But something I also
found very interesting that kind of ties in this conversation.
I watched an Instagram clip from a woman who was
basically saying that a lot of you know, people talk
about how the body turns on us, and oftentimes it
turns on us when we start to get quote unquote healthy,
meaning when things start to get better for us, right.

(17:41):
And I actually had this conversation with my mom when
we were driving back from Vegas. You know, she was like,
it wasn't until you know, she got into this place
of like peace where she felt like her body turned
on her, and I told her, I said, it didn't
feel like until I started making good money that my
body started to turn on me. And this woman, who
was also a doctor, said that, you know, a lot
of us don't know that that's our body's way of

(18:02):
responding to years of oppression, in years of being in
flight or flight. And so when you do get to
a place where you can quo quote unquote truly rest,
your body will start to break down because now it
actually has the space to actually respond to the way
it's been feeling for all these years. And I'm like, wow,
that actually makes a lot of sense, because up until
my you know, maybe I was thirty eight, I was

(18:24):
living in survival mode as a black queer person because
I didn't know where my next check was coming from.
I didn't know, you know, I hated my job, I
hated my life. And it's the same thing with my mom.
My mom was in a very emotionally abusive relationship, and
so now that that's out the window for her, she
actually can just focus on herself. And now her body
is saying, Yo, you know you've got to deal with
all of these things. Your bones are breaking down, your

(18:45):
shoulders breaking down, and so I just thought, she goes
it's about a three minute video, but it is a
very well explained video as to why our bodies seem
to turn on us when things start to be okay
for us. And I just thought that was very much
tied in to this as well. You know, folks not
knowing what their bodies are doing, or being given the
space to think about what their bodies are doing because

(19:07):
we don't have the luxury.

Speaker 6 (19:08):
So if I can, if I can extend that just
a little.

Speaker 1 (19:11):
Bit, Yeah, go ahead, go ahea baby.

Speaker 6 (19:12):
Actually one of those, because it's it's it's one of
those scenarios where we live. We live with the tension
and the closed in and the small chronic pains and
the small chronic nuances and that well it's a little
harder for me to breathe, and all these different things
that are happening with our body. We live with them
for so long, and then when things do get good,

(19:33):
the body is always trying to get back to this
thing called homeostasis.

Speaker 1 (19:37):
Yeah, yeah, that's what she said.

Speaker 6 (19:39):
Middle stage, right. And so if you've been thinking of
a pendulum, if you've been way over to one side
for a long time and you've gotten used to that,
and then all of a sudden, that mind body connection
kicks in because it is way more powerful than we
give it credit for. That mind body connection kicks in,
and then that spirit, the third kicks in, and then

(20:01):
the mind and the spirit are ready to about go
back to the middle and be homeostatic. Yeah, body gonna
try to catch up with it, but that is can
sometimes be a painful process. Yeah, the body is actually
like I have to break myself down to heal myself,
sort of like there giving it self therapy at that time.
And so a lot of people will actually immediately revert

(20:22):
back to unhealthy patterns of behavior because it's more comfortable,
because you're more used to it, even though it hurts more.

Speaker 1 (20:29):
Does that make sense, right, It does all make sense.
It does make sense. And so all of that to
just say, you know, I guess this is kind of
our our quick way of just saying, you know, if
you're in a place right now, especially with everything that's
happening in the world, please listen to your your body.
Please also, but also if you're if you can go
to the doctor, because I do recognize that sometimes going

(20:51):
to the doctor is a luxury for people. Do all
that you can to you know, push your doctors to
listen to you and let them know like I am
not in a good place. I don't feel well. Something
is off. I know my body. And I've had to
say this several times to both my doctor and my
new doctor. I told you all a couple of weeks ago,
I had to give my old doctor the boot because

(21:11):
I kept telling her something is off and I don't
know what it is, but I know something is off.
And then they said, oh, it's your sugar. Great, and
so you know, really, you know, again, fight for your
right to know what is going on with your body
and make sure that people are there to add, you know,
to take care of it. So I just really wanted
to say that. But with that being said, now that
we have told our doctors, our nurses, and who are

(21:33):
the babies that support the nurses, the little pas, the
little people who run around nursing assistants run up the
copy of our shots, we are going to take a
quick break and come back with more. Doctor James will
be back in a second. But the other pieces wild
not the A.

Speaker 4 (21:59):
And and we are a black fam and this week
we're grabbing our stethoscopes to get down to and the
tuda around top of this.

Speaker 5 (22:06):
Honestly, yes, her.

Speaker 4 (22:18):
Friend I said, I said, you know, you know who
wrote you know who wrote what? What show flow on
the day I was doing this ensues for this who
a topic that really has been has really been just
just bastardized and dastardized and traumatized and all the things

(22:43):
talking about burnout. We want to make sure the conversation
today was a viable one the both personal exploration and
solution focused ideas. Now, doctor James, we noticed that for
the last few weeks you'd be making content focused on
and the tell tales and the telltale signs.

Speaker 2 (23:02):
Personally, I've been avoiding I'm been avoiding those videos. I
don't want to. I'm like, oh, it was like, no,
it's not for me, It's not for me. It's not.

Speaker 6 (23:15):
It's not for me. You know, if you if you
talk with a British accent, you no longer burned out? Right?

Speaker 4 (23:19):
Yeah, but you know long but that please, Yeah, talk
to us about what BIS for you. How did you
realize that you were first experiencing it yourself?

Speaker 6 (23:30):
Well, first I got to get first. Thank you for
noticing all the madness on the socials. I love it. Yes,
we've been leaning hard on the burnout and primarily I
got to give a shout out to my nurses. So
for some some people might be wondering. So I am
doctor James Q. Simmons. I have a doctorate of nursing Practice,
so my title is doctor. I am a very proud
nurse pectitioner. So my peoples is my nurses, and uh,

(23:54):
we're burned out, burn the funk out.

Speaker 1 (23:56):
Man.

Speaker 6 (23:56):
It's crazy. The number of people leaving the profession are
is wild. The number of people not going into the
profession because of this after of healthcare system is wild.
But we are still the largest segment of the healthcare workforce.
We are also been voted twenty three years in a
row as the most trusted profession in America by the America.
So for this big disconnect for me is a lot

(24:17):
of things. People love us and they know us and
they trust us and they want us to be their
healthcare providers. But the system is burning us out and
making us leave.

Speaker 1 (24:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (24:25):
I just really felt in my heart of hearts like
I was like, all right, I kind of figured this out,
Like I kind of figured out to have how to
have a career in this business of nursing and healthcare
and whatever and be super happy and have a little
points in my pocket and get to kind of do
whatever the hell I want to do, but still really
help people, which is my goal. So I was started
leaning into that. But what is so interesting is that

(24:47):
y'all see this. So many people who are not nurses
have been resonating with this content. They have been my god,
you are speaking teachers, My god, you are speaking to
pick a different profession. I have never had more COVID
was the last time I had this many people up
in my DMS. Wow, wrecking it. So one of the things,

(25:10):
you know, like burnout for me. It can look different
for everybody, but I really like for me, it was
a lot of the things of like I really love
engaging with people. So like my husband is drained by
social situations. He is a true, actual introvert, so it
is a lot of energy and effort for him to

(25:31):
get into a social situation. I love them. I get
energized by people. If you get me at a cocktail
party and a keiki at whatever, I'm the one that's like,
let's go to the club club, First club next club
right after. It's like, I just wanting to do that
to be around people. I love a good car cry,

(25:52):
but they were becoming like a daily occurrence. Eddie cried,
I got a whole playlist that makes me cry, Like
I'm you know, that's a little bit of my we
have to do in la I cry in the car.
But I was like, why doing things? Like I don't
know if y'all know, but she's a sporty gay and
I love I like live for tennis and basketball. I didn't.

(26:14):
I didn't want to play either of them. I was like,
I'm crying in a car every day. I don't want
to go play basketball or tennis, and I don't want
to be around people.

Speaker 1 (26:24):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (26:25):
Immediately I was like, okay, am I depressed? Yeah, you
know all of these things. And then I realized. I
was like, God, I'm dreaming about work. I'm thinking about work,
my nep, I'm so stressed about work. I'm steady hollering
at people on the phone, like I'm hollering at my
mom about ship on the phone. And I was like, yeah, work.
I was like, hold up, time out, Oh this is

(26:46):
my burnout, like steady creep until I finally realized it,
and then I was like, well, shit, I'm burned out
the last last straw. I will say this because I
want we need to talk about this stuff more often.
I had like no libido for a long time. You know,
my introverted husband, who is also I might as well
be married to aight this man would do make it,

(27:08):
do what a dude three times a day every day
if I'd let him so. But I was like, nope, nope,
get off me, don't touch me, don't touch me. And
that was very rare in our relationship. Like we have
a lot of time and.

Speaker 1 (27:19):
How you do it, how you do it, but it's real.
I think I think it's good that we have that
openness conversation around burnout because I think, you know, what
you're speaking to is the joys and the things that
balance you and the things that keep you feeling like yourself.
And I don't think that we oftentimes talk enough. You know,
we talk about depression, we talk about anxiety, we talk

(27:40):
about all of these other things, but we don't talk
about the ways that burnout manifests in a lot of
the things that we do. And I even had to
clock myself, you know, a couple of months ago, when
I started recognizing, I was like, ooh, girl, you're doing
way too much. Was the stuff that used to be
fun to me, like this podcast even, you know, there
were days where I would get on the mic and

(28:00):
I'd be like, I really don't want to do this,
and it was like, bitch, you prayed for this, Like
this is stuff you've prayed for. These are things that
you want to do. You're now no longer wanting to do.
There's something wrong, And I had to really assess where
that burnout was coming from. So I appreciate you being
so open and honest about that, you know, because I
think it's really important. You know, I would love to

(28:20):
know one of the you know, and I hate to
feel like this is twenty one questions, but I think
I appreciate that you have such a varied experience. Not
only just do you not only do you have the degrees,
but I think there's there's such a human aspect of
And this is the reason why I said I love
not only just you as a friend, but I love

(28:40):
your content because I think that it's not just content.
I think there's a very humanistic thing about it, of like,
how do we get back to the core of who
we are as a person while we're dealing with all
of this stuff that we're dealing with. And so one
of the things I wanted to know as I was
thinking about as I was putting this together, was thinking
about the biggest myths and misunderstand standings you might have

(29:01):
had before experiencing burnout. And I think that people think
because I think people just think burnout is, Oh, I'm
tired of doing everything right. I'm tired of doing the
same thing over and over again. And I feel like
burnout is actually much deeper than that. And so I
would love to know what you what your take on
burnout is and and what really truly drives it.

Speaker 6 (29:20):
And that you you you say you bring this up,
and that immediately what popped into my head was the
especially for like a sort of like black and brown
queer folks, is that we don't we know when we're
burned out, but we don't trust it. I think there's
this myth that you got to have, You gotta have
a moment like I had. You got to have the

(29:41):
car crying cry and all that. Yeah, playing tennis, like
hollering at everybody, hollering at your mom on the phone.
You gotta have this whole moment, which I did have,
but you don't because I knew it for a long
time and my gut was telling it to me, but
I wasn't trusting it.

Speaker 1 (29:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (29:59):
Well, I think kind of like John, what you were
just saying about, like being like, man, I prayed for
this podcast, but I don't even want to be here today.
And sure we all have that occasionally, and sometimes there's
stresses and whatever. But when when you feel that deep down,
I think there's this this myth that like just pushed through.
Don't don't listen your gut. Your gut is not right,

(30:19):
You're you're good girl. Just get on the other side
of it. Yeah, that's fine. And no, like our instincts
are there for a reason, and I think we need
to trust them. And I think they're this burnout has
gotten like Joe, like you said, such a like mastardized term,
and everybody's burned out and they're burned out of this
and burn out of that, and and really it is

(30:42):
an individualized thing for sure, but also it's something that
going back to that mind body connection, like your body
will tell you, your gut will tell you literally your
instincts will tell you. So this myth of like I'm
just gonna push through my gut. No, my gut's not right.
Maybe it's too early. There's no way i can be

(31:03):
burned out right now, I've only been doing this job
for eight months or whatever, you know, like your gut's right,
like if your goods wrong, that's.

Speaker 2 (31:10):
Wrong, you know.

Speaker 4 (31:13):
I see it as like I say it as like
as soon as you ask yourself and I burnt out,
like the answer to answers yes, like if ye the
answer is yes, like you you you can't be like
am I No, I can't.

Speaker 2 (31:25):
No, bitch, if you thought it, you already are.

Speaker 4 (31:27):
And I think it's such a great point, like about
about that being mis understanding of like like you gas
that yourself and to believe that you aren't or people around.

Speaker 2 (31:36):
Your gas that you're like, oh, like it's not. It's
not that deep girl.

Speaker 4 (31:38):
And I think also I think I want to that
like I think like I think you you you brought
you have a great point, Like you brought a great
point James, like Rea Libido, because like alt realize that
like how about affects them in other ways? It affects
you emotionally, sexually, basically mentally affection every way. It's if
not you aren't just exhausted like in your body, Like

(31:59):
it's like some days you just cannot think.

Speaker 2 (32:02):
Some days you have like.

Speaker 1 (32:03):
Decisions, but do focus. That's focused as well too.

Speaker 4 (32:05):
It's like like some days like you aren't fucking right
like like that's that's that's how manifest but also but
also like you like people also believe that, like you
have to have a certain level of stress to be
burnt out, and I think we don't give so much
enough of grace to be like my burnout is different
than your burnout like like like maybe like.

Speaker 2 (32:25):
Maybe I burn out at like at like level when.

Speaker 4 (32:28):
Fifty, but if you're not at level ninety, like that's
still actually a really will burn out and you shouldn't
feel like you have to.

Speaker 1 (32:33):
Be level tanage. It could be I don't.

Speaker 4 (32:35):
Don't do you don't have to feel, you don't feel like,
oh I need to like do more work to feel
too before I got burnt out. I say that as
I'm that I am also that I am that person
for sure, and I think many of us, many of
us don't take it seriously as they shouldn't. Obviously, I'm like, like, yes,
Jordan me to me, I'm like at myself, done mass
bitch or I mean nothing about this because also like

(32:56):
we also shouldn't tack ourselves for different I like, I
want to be a natural to myself about it. It's
just so hard to do right. Well, I'm curious what
are what are some tailtale signs like burnout in us?

Speaker 2 (33:07):
And you can.

Speaker 4 (33:09):
Share more like like like beyond the idea of like
of like like yet like do I think it is
much true?

Speaker 2 (33:15):
But like what where are other ways do you think
it might show show up with people?

Speaker 4 (33:19):
And how do you think it impacts like especially like
us as as as mus as folks physically, emotionally or
even professionally.

Speaker 6 (33:27):
That's a great question, a fantastic question, and it's something
I want to I want to make sure we all
sort of understand it. You know, I have been I
just did it. I have been using this word a lot.
We all been using this word a lot. But the
eye of it, and I think, if whoever y'all who
are listening to this, if this is sort of resonating
with you, one of the things I want you to
know is that one of the indicative like defining characteristics

(33:49):
of burnout versus other things, is that it is a
systemic issue. So you are receiving you are burned out
because of the system. It is very often not And
I'm listen, I'm a health care provider, so I'm down
with some personal responsibility about some shit like I will

(34:10):
be a little controversial about that, but burnout is not
one of them. Almost inevitably, burnout is a result of
the systems that we are in that are not built
for us, that are capitalistic in nature, that will use
you and abuse you, and they will. You work for
that company for sixty five years and you retire and
the next day you have a heart attack. Like so,

(34:32):
I think it's really important for people to acknowledge that.
The thing to your question, joho that for me, this
is also a little controversial. I was having a moment
where I was like, I was done code switching, and

(34:54):
I think that there are controversial right whether whether how
we can maybe should go into that. But I was like,
I'm not code switching for these motherfuckers anymore, and we shouldn't.

Speaker 1 (35:13):
Have to, right, but you do, you do, But we do.

Speaker 6 (35:17):
And particularly in some of the spaces in which I
operate and navigate as doctor James and hospital administration and
public speaking and TV and all this stuff, right, but
I was done, And that was like one of those
those breaking points. So I think for for people, whatever

(35:39):
that thing is for you, you're like, I absolutely just
cannot do this anymore. I was like, I'm going on
television and I'm not going to have this argument with
these other I was on some panel program with a
bunch of RFK want to be motherfuckers, and I was like,
I couldn't. I couldn't keep it professional, yea, And that

(36:00):
along with the like I sleep, maybe I am about
the sleep. I protect my sleep like I protect my
dog and my husband and my family and my car,
like I protect my sleep. But I wasn't sleeping. I
was having steady headaches. I was doing the thing where
I couldn't turn my neck like the somatic so body
experiences of burnout very very very similar to like stress

(36:24):
and anxiety and things like that. But really that for me,
it was this moment, so whatever that is for y'all listening, like,
I had this moment where I was like, I'm not
doing this, not I'm not code switching because we shouldn't
have to as a people, and did it not the
philosophical sort of like advancing the people activists energy around
code switching.

Speaker 1 (36:43):
It was the like, I'm not I can't mask, I
don't even I can't mask.

Speaker 6 (36:47):
I don't even care about my professional career.

Speaker 1 (36:50):
I'm ready to throw it all away.

Speaker 6 (36:51):
I'm ready to throw it all away, and I'm ready
to crust this thing out on TV right now. I
got to that point and I was like, Okay, whole
hold on a second, James, Like what is going on?
So so I offer that to y'all that I think
we get some of the like body signs and symptoms
of stress and all that kind of stuff, But when
you have that moment of like, oh I absolutely cannot

(37:14):
do this anymore, it's a sign. It's a sign.

Speaker 1 (37:17):
Yeah, And I think you what you're speaking to is
a is a classic case of there's a I think
there's a whole line of you know, I'm depressed, I
have anxiety, I'm you know, I'm angry, whatever the case
may be around that, but this whole notion of I'm
ready to throw everything away because I'm so sick of
just this or whatever the case may be. I think

(37:39):
that's the thing I wish that we talked more about,
because I think we try to cla we try to
classically like quantify everything around, like oh, this thing is
causing this thing, and it's like, no, you just you're
just tired, You're sick of it. And I think, you know,
that's why I kind of really wanted to have this conversation,
you know, when I went to Joe and I said, Hey,
what are we talking about this week? I think burnout

(38:00):
is a really important thing because I think so many
of us are just we're at our wits end with
a lot of different things, and I think we're still
trying to pretend. And I want to say I also
want to shout out Amara. I think it's Zamara Jones
who had posted you know a lot of us who
are trying to act like everything is okay when it's not.
And I think so many of us we're dealing with

(38:23):
so many different things on different levels.

Speaker 2 (38:24):
Right.

Speaker 1 (38:25):
We have the people who have lost their jobs, we
have people who can't find jobs. We have people who
are dealing with still with family, the long COVID of
it all. Right, there's all of these things that are
constantly popping up, and I think that it is is
so imperative to recognize that a lot of this also too,
is by design, Like a lot. That's the thing I
really want folks to really take from this combo is

(38:46):
that some of the burnout that you're feeling and some
of the stuff that you're feeling emotionally and physically and professionally,
that's by design. And I really want folks to kind
of lean into that, because I think a lot of
them are like, well, what's wrong with me? And it's like, no, baby,
it's the system, and you're responding to the system working
and moving exactly the way it's supposed to. And so

(39:07):
I really I really appreciate you saying that, because I
don't think a lot of people really kind of take
in the telltale signs that they're singing themselves and what
they're singing around themselves to know that something is wrong.
And so while I know that we are all talking
about we're talking a lot about struggle. I think one
of the things that I find a lot of marginalized
people they struggle with asking for help when they are

(39:28):
at the brink of being burnt out or being worn
out or they like you said, coach, which they find
it very hard to find the words to say what's
really on their heart. And that's very much a very
American individualistic behavior to pretend that everything is okay and
that everything is figured out, even when you don't feel
like you have it together, you still have to pretend

(39:50):
that you do. I guess you know, for you, being
someone who has very been very vocal about their burnout,
what did asking for help look like for you? And
what did you learn in the process.

Speaker 2 (40:02):
Who I'm not.

Speaker 6 (40:06):
Good at it. I'm not good at it. We were talking.
We were talking before. For those of us girlies listening
who are also a little woo woo, I am a
I am a tourist rising and so I am very calm,
I'm very patient, but I also am very focused. Some
might call it stubborn.

Speaker 2 (40:26):
I was like.

Speaker 6 (40:30):
And I was just very stubborn. Uh and still am
to some day, Like I don't want this to be
like I'm on the other side of burnout and I'm perfect, bitch,
I ain't never been going to be burnout again. Like
it is a it's a journey, it's a lifelong practice.
Like whatever, however you want to call it. But I
just I had to stubborn my way into it. I

(40:53):
had to self into asking for help. I can be
a little OCD, a little like Type A, and so
I'm quite organized about how I do things and to
do list and where things go and whatever. So I
literally just put on my to do list to ask
to talk to my best.

Speaker 1 (41:11):
Friend about burnout, get some help.

Speaker 6 (41:14):
And isn't that funny? I couldn't let that because I
like to I'll do the thing all about my little process.
You have a big old long ass to do list
that's like lifelong, right, But then I take like three
to five things that I just focus on those things
for the day, and that's how I'm able to get
it stuff done. But baby, if all three of those
things aren't crossed off by the end of the day,
she's twitching, right mean, But yeah, yes, I put on

(41:41):
my little, my little to do sticky thing on there.
Ask Jocelyn about your burnout or say something whatever. I say,
say something to jos about burnout. So I just I
tricked myself into it. And I was like, so, and
Johnson's my ridetage and have known me for life, like
she knows me myself, like.

Speaker 1 (41:59):
I pay Jocelyn, right, I think I've met her.

Speaker 6 (42:01):
Yeah, her and my husband trade notes about how to
deal with me, like whatever. So I was like, Babe,
I think I'm burned out. Like I think I really
like like being a nurse, but I think I hate
being a nurse. He was like, oh, good, glad you
said something about time, because you've been an asshole for
like a year, you know. Like but then we just
had the conversation that we had all that all my

(42:24):
little Trusian brain needed was to just open that little door.
And then like, I put a plan together. I put
a little process together, and I was like, Hey, what
are the things that bring me joy that I'm not
doing that are to this part? What are the things
that I can cut out? What are the things that
I realizing I'm doing because of systems of capitalism and
why supremacy have told me that I need to keep

(42:45):
doing these things? How banging the fuck attention to my husband? Right,
Like all of these things and once once I kind
of tricked myself into it, so I will not be
one of those girlies who's like, oh, just you know,
asking for help is easy. It's not. But I think
that we do hard things and them every day. And

(43:10):
that sounds wild because we're talking about burnout. I don't
mean things that cause you stress or anxiety by all,
I guess I sort of mean like like scary, like
something that challenges yourself just a little bit every day.
And it might be something as simple as like Christopher
and I are both bad about the same things in

(43:31):
the house. So we're both bad about clothes, and we're
both bad about paperwork. So there'll be a stack of
two or seventeen of paper in the dining room, but
I do not want to deal with that paperwork by
the end of the day. But I'll be like, let
me take this one pile of paper, only sixteen piles
and put the month pile of paper away or ShredIt

(43:51):
or whatever I need to do.

Speaker 1 (43:53):
The mail carrier in our house is so full.

Speaker 6 (43:57):
It's a mess, right, But that's like scary to me,
So I don't that's what I mean, like, just do
And so if asking for help is hard for you,
that's okay. It's actually kind of not supposed to be easy,
and the system would reinforce to you that you're weak
if you do. But we all know that I feel
like we're all past that, like, asking for help is

(44:18):
obviously not a sign of weakness. It is a sign
of strength. It is a sign of you knowing yourself
and give it up to the ancestors if you need to.
If you are a religious or spiritual person, pray on
it all the prayer. Prayer will absolutely lead you into
the right direction for doing that. But that I don't
want to I never try to mince words about this.

(44:38):
That asking for help part is easy because it's often not,
but need you asking help of one person will make
a world of difference. But it doesn't mean that your
world needs to know that you asked for help.

Speaker 1 (44:51):
Yeah, that's a lot of it, that's real.

Speaker 4 (44:55):
I also I would love to add like for people,
like for help doesn't always mean like come do this
thing with me or do this thing for me, Like
it also could just mean like just sit with me
as I do the thing as well too, Like I
like I'm somebody who like I I don't know either,
but like I am not somebody who like needs help

(45:17):
to do to do a thing. But just like how
someone sit there while do the thing, because like I
know I can do it.

Speaker 2 (45:21):
But like, let's what a device is?

Speaker 4 (45:23):
I won't do it, or I'll like to shout myself
like so like like my friends I'm cleaning, I'm like, hey,
just come over and just like sit as I clean,
just like chit chat with me or something as.

Speaker 2 (45:32):
A cleaner on the phone. Like also look very very different.

Speaker 4 (45:36):
If it's hard for you to say, I guess it
was hard for you to say, come, how do this
thing is? Just comes sit with me or you or
come talk or walk with me during during this time
as well too. I really like I really really appreciate,
like I, yeah, I appreciate your naming James that like that,
like yes, that like the ship is scary, and like

(45:58):
asking for I was scary, but or I think it's
actually it's like it's like I think it's not asking
but scary. Is that that's the level of number that
people are taught to not have. Being vulnerable scary, right,
And so we're scared to be vulnerable with others. To
saying can you help me? Is admitting that I don't
have it? And that's fear. That's your fearful for people.

(46:19):
But like what like what would be more scary?

Speaker 2 (46:21):
And this is that I'm.

Speaker 4 (46:22):
Trying to remind myself more of Now it comes to
asking for help, is Okay, I may be uncomfortable now,
but I'll be more scary if I'm if I'm in
the hospital because I ask for help because you had
heard you were scared that, right, versus I can probably
mitigate this a little bit more now by saying, let
me ask for help on on this, on this task

(46:42):
for project. And you know, and I think your portant,
right John earlier about how it's all it's all by design, like, yeah,
it's all but design to ask for it's all about
design to say like pick yourself, pick yourself up by
your bootstraps and call that a day. And it's like no,
like like if we are, if we are the people
who believe in ancestral work, could believe and things that
come before us, and like we know that everything that

(47:03):
was done in this in our communities or in our
in our structures have been done not by not alone.

Speaker 2 (47:08):
They've been done in community with others. They've been done
in collaboration with others.

Speaker 4 (47:12):
So if we know that the world was if you
know that the world was actually built in collaboration with others,
then like then why would I believe the lie that
I should be managing myself by myself, and I can
collaborate with others to like take care of who I
am because because I need that community. Community is like
the community is bio oftentimes to our survival. If you

(47:32):
are convinced that you have to do alone, that's like
that that that's a very saddling world that you that
you're just existing in. And I would challenge anybody to think, like,
what what actually scares you about having people around you?

Speaker 2 (47:46):
What scares you about? What scares you about letting yourself.

Speaker 1 (47:49):
Be seen and being honest about what you need? Not
to cut you off to a hole, but I think
what what what scares you about being honest about saying
I need this thing? And like you said, I I
don't think it always needs to be a game of
what can you give me? You know? Sometimes I just
need folks to hear you know. I'm I'm struggling in

(48:09):
this aspect. I mean, I've been very vocal in saying
like I'm I'm trying to find a new career and
so a new career path per se and having to
like openly say that to people and ask like, hey,
do you have any networks? Do you have any it's hard,
like because again I'm supposed to be you know, I'm
doctor John Paul. I'm supposed to have this. Everything around

(48:31):
me looks good, everything looks great. And now I'm having
to like be honest and say, I'm trying to find
a new job and I really need help with finding
a new job because I you know, obviously cost of
living is raised up, and you know, there are all
these things that I have to consider and it's it's
just so much. But to to say in this moment
by asking for help, I don't have it all together,
that shit is scary. That shit is hard, especially when

(48:53):
you've been taught your whole life you're supposed to have
everything together as a black whatever whatever.

Speaker 4 (48:59):
Whugh that you know people will judge you if you don't.
And I think, and I think, right, finding other people
in your life who don't do that that you feel
safe with, like that that that you know are gonna
judge you, which is hard to do.

Speaker 2 (49:10):
But you have to be willing you have people to build.

Speaker 4 (49:13):
Trust with yourself and with others and and say like
let like like let me let me learn, let me.

Speaker 2 (49:18):
Learn my experience.

Speaker 4 (49:19):
If I can trust them, then I trust that they
they I'll demonstrate trust with them by saying I don't
have it together, you know, don't trust with me by saying, Okay,
I got you what you need.

Speaker 2 (49:29):
How how how can I help you?

Speaker 6 (49:31):
Know?

Speaker 4 (49:31):
Or or if you're that friend who helps others, like
sometimes people can't say, can't say what they need, maybe
offer maybe like offer some ideas, like I thought, I
think my friend who like you know, his job, his
job was putting on the Pride festival, and he was
telling me the day before the Pride week, I knew
it was going to be a hell week for him.
So I was like, hey, on Sunday, on Sunday, on Sunday,

(49:56):
I'm gonna shopping for you and and like we're when
prep for you and like to me like it was
it was like no big deal.

Speaker 2 (50:03):
It was me, but like everyone.

Speaker 1 (50:06):
The world to him and that he worked with was.

Speaker 4 (50:08):
Like, oh my god, Jorian, like like all like all
we can be talking about how how special was that
you that you like that you got the food and
brought and you couldn't cooked with him to be prep
And I was like and I was like, of course,
like he has a busy last week, but like and
it was important.

Speaker 2 (50:22):
It was worn't to me to do that for him,
but I didn't think it was as mean.

Speaker 4 (50:25):
He would tell his entire entire stuff that like that,
like that, like that, that's that's your help to help
get him to the week, having his breakfast and lunch
already made.

Speaker 2 (50:33):
That's the way.

Speaker 1 (50:34):
You ain't never done that for me.

Speaker 4 (50:35):
But all.

Speaker 1 (50:39):
You out here making food for other people and you
can't even help me.

Speaker 4 (50:43):
Okay, I see how Oh I know you lie to me.

Speaker 1 (50:48):
I know I have a whole ass husband who I
put to work, so I'm not even worse. Okay, but
you know, if you lived ten cheat, I know, I
already know. I know you've had me before. I yeah,
you you are, And so I know I'm just uking
around at.

Speaker 4 (51:03):
Least something that I also love to interrogate in the
in in this in this context is like a relationship
to self care as well too, because everything she can
self carry away through burnout and you can't, like like,
self care is self care is bandaid girls, self self care, selfcare,
self care is liked to be self care is like

(51:24):
the fucking like It's like like like the loose eyelash
on a fall sea on a slash lamp. You're like,
that was fine, I got it, and that they just like,
please help me.

Speaker 7 (51:34):
I need to, like, you know, if it's so much
of it is also expensive and capitalism or like ecocentrism
or the visualism, and so I'm curious ask you, Jamee,
your thoughts.

Speaker 4 (51:49):
On how have you managed or maybe if you haven't,
maybe you have, maybe you haven't. How how do you
manage to redefine self care and the work that you do,
and how do you also do the work to decommercialize it?

Speaker 6 (52:01):
For your saying others, that's funny because I love you.
Come decommercialize it. Call me out on this girl. You
know how I'm built a whole last course for these nurses. Yeah,
not be burnt.

Speaker 2 (52:12):
Out today is commercial.

Speaker 6 (52:17):
I no, I'm gonna be super vulnerable in this, and
I'm scared. I'm scared shitless. I've been on social media,
I don't know, for twelve fourteen years something like that.
I've never told anything. All this shit has been free.
I've never been like, oh, by my course or by
my thing, or hire me as a consultant. Right hired
me to speak, People have hired me to consult based

(52:38):
on the free things that I give on social media,
right but right, never had that, But I love it.
I love that that. I'm super open about this conversation.
I literally one of the nurses today at work, she
was like, wait, are you selling something on Instagram? And
I was like, girl, I'm putting this little thing together.
I don't know because my time. At the same time,

(52:59):
I'm like, well, my time and thoughts and energy and
experience are worthwhile, Like it took me eighteen months to
build this course. Yeah, didn't nobody pay for that. Now
I'm not I'm not trying to be like I'm going
to retire millionaire and be on a boat in Central
Pair or whatever. But also, like I don't know, I

(53:19):
think the commercialization of the whole thing is a very
very interesting thing, like I really do. And it's something
I'm being vulnerable with, y'all right now, it's something I'm
really struggling with, Like I actually am, Like I'm not
a sales a dude, Like I don't. You guys have
seen the content on the burnout so far, and I've
been like, well, let me get you an email address,
but you know what, I haven't even emailed them. It
is yet because I don't even know. I'm nervous about

(53:40):
being that selsy guy because I actually want people to
not be burnt out in my profession, like I want
to rather than sell. So I mean, it's it's it's
it's an interesting thing about the commercialization of it, because
I ultimately was like, well, if I'm going to put
this much time and energy into something, who mortgage.

Speaker 4 (54:02):
Could offer a reframe?

Speaker 6 (54:05):
Please please.

Speaker 1 (54:08):
Yourself.

Speaker 6 (54:09):
I also have lots of thoughts about non commercial ways
to get on your burnout when we can get to that,
but I would.

Speaker 4 (54:13):
Love it, yeah, because like like like when you're what
you're saying, I don't see it. I don't see it
as you like. I don't see as you like commercializing, right, Like,
I like, I don't what you're saying.

Speaker 2 (54:27):
It doesn't like you're like you're.

Speaker 4 (54:28):
You're not making a mass product for the world, Like
you're making like a like a ray, like a very
specific for a specific reason, for a specific group of people,
and you aren't like you're only making it take a
property and make it for sake of sustainability for yourself.
And I think like like like we're expected to give
out our we're expected to give out like, especially as
black folks.

Speaker 1 (54:46):
So much of ourselves, so much.

Speaker 4 (54:48):
Of our knowledge and talent and energy and expertise as
like free labor like good like god for a bit
of black man wants to like make a coin to
himself after after the years of work that you've done, right,
So like like like I like I I I think
with what you're doing, right, Like, if if you're commercializing,

(55:08):
like for the sake of like I want to be
a millionaire, then like maybe I'd be like, okay, girl,
you know and like like like and also work like
white holks you all the time, so like work girl,
like gets your coin. But I really also like I
think the offer is like that you aren't commercializing, like
you you're made, You've made, you've made, and people.

Speaker 2 (55:25):
Really want to people don't. Let's it's real.

Speaker 4 (55:28):
They can look through your entire calog of work for
free if they if they, if they don't want to pay
for anything, it's all right, Like you have bodies to
work that's for free access still, but this is a
way for you to say, I want to, basman, that's
really unique and special as an offering to people and
person I'm worth something and like and you want to

(55:48):
be more sustainable for you as a person. Like that
to me is like that's real, that's fair. So I
so I would I like I I pushed the idea
of like I don't not and nothing.

Speaker 2 (56:02):
You said that.

Speaker 4 (56:02):
I don't think you're like selling yourself or like oh
you know, or like like like selling into the day
of capitalism because you because after the twelve years of
free work you've given, you've you've chosen to create one
paid course.

Speaker 2 (56:16):
No, you should make she created.

Speaker 6 (56:18):
A pay thank you, thank you. I appreciate that. Some
days tomorrow morning, I'll probably wake up and I will
ride with you. I'll be one hundred percent with you.
And then the next day I might wake up and
I might be like, I can't believe I'm selling something
like that. Probably low key high key is why this
thing just we just put this together, by the way,
like it's just I'm really pushed out that it's that

(56:40):
I have a course, Like I haven't really talked about
it yet. So I haven't told anything yet because I
haven't really talked about it yet, And that may be
why it shouldn't have took me eighteen months. You know,
you got those people on YouTube, they're like build a
course in the weekend and become a millionaire by Monday,
like whatever, that's I'm not about that life because I
was like, this isn't right, this isn't right. Let me
run it past some nurses. Is this valuable? Like and
that's we're in that process. So thank you Joe for that,

(57:02):
because I do have to remember that, you know, my
my a really good confidant has and a really good
mentor of mine. Recently, you no longer get paid for
what you do. You get paid for who you are,
like you have reached this point in your life. And

(57:22):
that Oprah Full Circle has actually helped with my burnout
because I haven't been intentional and subconsciously seeking validation through
doing things for other people. And therefore my time has
been mine, and my time has valuable in helping deconstruct

(57:46):
these systems in the world that we live in, because
I'm not steady running around thinking that I have to
do this thing for somebody else for them to find value. Truly,
am just my lived experience, my yes, my education, but
also just me as a human. But these these, all
of these things that I have done have value. And

(58:08):
it's not that I don't have to actually do something.
So I will even say that in through this whole
process of doing, of building a course, what I have
learned is like no is a complete sentence the world end.
And it was the first step for me to start

(58:29):
getting over my burnout. Had to just I just start
saying that extra shift wasn't gonna help me. Okay, so yeah,
the paycheck was gonna be cute in a couple of weeks.
But like they knowed that, I had to. I know
y'all were clowning me earlier on about camping. You know,
we're like we're a little bit outdoors, the girls. But
I realized the actual power. I know it's a quote,

(58:51):
but of touching grass. I actually had to put a
black ass on some soil. And that's just hiking and
Runyon Canyon here in La like oh with the girlies
and whatever. No, I had you gotta take my ass outside,
sit under the stars on some grass.

Speaker 1 (59:09):
Just breathe in some sort of clean air. I hear you,
so some.

Speaker 6 (59:13):
Breathe as well. The first time we did it, we
went out to Joshua Tree. We were looking up at
these stocks.

Speaker 1 (59:18):
That's real clean air.

Speaker 6 (59:22):
Yeah. I may or may not have had a gummy
or seventeen, and I was like, I was like, look
at the milky Way, and then you have that whole
moment where you're like, I have nothing but expect in
this universe. Right, So we're telling people to touch crass,
get outside without your phone, even if it's for ten minutes,

(59:45):
that it just breaks it. And there's actual research behind this.
By the way, it actually breaks those like hyperactive neural
connections that it'll just break it. Get outside, touch nature, breathe.
That was really important for me some of the other
things I told you all, I'm a tennis I'm a
sporty girl.

Speaker 1 (01:00:06):
Yeah.

Speaker 6 (01:00:06):
I had to get back to playing tennis. So I
made this the tourists and me. I had to make
this huge announcement to everybody. I am playing tennis two
hours a week, every Monday night, five pm to seven pm.

Speaker 1 (01:00:18):
And come down, come on down.

Speaker 6 (01:00:20):
I don't care who you are, y'all leave me alone.
I'm not answering this phone. I'm not missing this tennis.
I'm not doing any meetings, we're not doing any dinners,
we're not doing na Mondays five to seven pm. I
am playing tennis. And I had to be sort of
demonstrative about it, because that's just how I roll. And
after the first probably the first three times I went
back to playing tennis, I cried every time. I find

(01:00:45):
so much joy in that type of movement of my body.
I find so much wedding. I find joy in like
competition that doesn't mean anything, right, Like I'm not trying
to win Wimbledon or anything. I find a lot of
joy in that, and I have since I was a kid.
Come on, Serena, uh huh oh, I'll be yelling, come
on and everything.

Speaker 1 (01:01:05):
It's not the grun.

Speaker 6 (01:01:08):
So I tell folks that just like that sort of
like code switching moment for me was like a moment,
and you'll you'll kind of know it, like what's that thing?
You're like, Man, I just I cannot do this anymore.
I would also be like, what is your thing? You're like,
I used to crochet my ass off and I don't
even crochet no more. How come I don't do that?
Or like I used to like to do do hair
or whatever, you know, like, what what is your thing?

(01:01:29):
Paint the dog's nails? And why don't Why don't I
paint the dog's nails anymore? When you're having that question,
go do that thing that is intuition. That's like, girl,
you're burnt out and I'm your body and your mind
are telling you already. The first thing to do to
get over it. Just listen to me, go to get
my serena on. I still do it now. I play

(01:01:51):
like twice a week. It's my therapy. I call it
my therapy and is Yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:01:59):
I love backet and the courts.

Speaker 1 (01:02:02):
Honey, Okay, pickleball to y'all, pickleball.

Speaker 2 (01:02:05):
I used to be in the U. S.

Speaker 1 (01:02:06):
T A.

Speaker 2 (01:02:06):
I got you all right, you know she's a U.

Speaker 6 (01:02:10):
S t A four point Oh honey, I'm ready, let's go.

Speaker 1 (01:02:12):
Yeah, period, but I'm here for it. I love it
for both of y'all. Y'all don't care.

Speaker 6 (01:02:19):
Hand we're gonna do. We're gonna have to do that.
We're gonna have to create the first Black Bat Invitational.
We've all all the BFFs out there, y'all come on
a tennis tournament.

Speaker 4 (01:02:31):
He got you be kind of dope, would be like,
I mean, we we have the guest list for it.
We do, we do, We could do sports Day little
was it?

Speaker 1 (01:02:44):
What is it called? When they go out there and
may be doing it for charity when y'all be out there.

Speaker 6 (01:02:50):
Oh yeah, like a charity tournament. Yeah, we list. The
US Open is coming up soon, so y'all get ready.

Speaker 1 (01:02:58):
That's what I was thinking of the US Open too.

Speaker 6 (01:03:01):
There are so many there are so many low key
tennis people out there, especially black folks. It's a gang
of black folk play tennis that they it's it's like
low key until you ask about it and they're like, oh, yeah,
tennis is Michelle.

Speaker 1 (01:03:12):
Yeah, Francesca. Francesca Ramsey is a tennis curly. I know that,
uh are one of our producers. Anna is a tennis curly.
So yeah, quite a few people I know actually do
play tennis. Like I'm not coordinated enough, but I definitely
will say like, I love I love that everybody around.
There are a lot of people around me who play tennis,
and I love that journey for them. But that being said,

(01:03:32):
now that you have officially helped us redefine the meaning
of self care, we're gonna take a quick breath break
and come back with another segment fotat as. We will
be back in just a second. All right, y'all, So, uh,
you may have noticed or may not have noticed that

(01:03:55):
this segment has kind of found its way to being
something we are doing every single week, and so we
just decide that's a keeper. What's popping segment is now
going to be sticking around, and this is gonna be
the thing many of you have asked us for this,
y'all have said, Oh, we love when you talk about
pop culture, we love when you talk about the news,
we love when you talk about all the stuff that's
going on in the world. And so we just decided
we're just gonna go ahead and do it. And so

(01:04:16):
this week I wanted to have some words with one
of y'all's favorite girls. And I say, y'all, I have
never seen it for her. Y'all, I don't know, but y'all, Amy,
I ain't never seen it for miss Girl. Something about
her always rubbed me the wrong way, and every time

(01:04:36):
I started to be like, yeah, you you are exactly
the girl that I thought you were, uh huh every time.
And so this week I wanted to jump down Azilia
Banks's throat because if y'all did not know, or if
y'all have not heard, she put out a statement a
couple of weeks a couple of days ago, on social

(01:04:58):
media's where she he said that being queer isn't normal,
and she had a lot of ship to say about
trans our trans brethren and sistering. And before I pop off,
I want to give space to folks who are gonna
be a lot nicer than me. So Jojo, you may
want to go first, Doctor James. I will give it

(01:05:20):
to you to give your thoughts on it, and then
I'll give my thoughts and then we'll go ahead and
we'll move on to a different segment. So Joe, you
can stop.

Speaker 4 (01:05:29):
I will first say this is the article began with
a once a once a beloved pop star, hip hop star.

Speaker 1 (01:05:38):
See we will. We will put that in the show
notes as well. The articles from that we're referencing once
one she was she was.

Speaker 8 (01:05:50):
I think she was always controversial, so okay, I mm
hmm final No mixed.

Speaker 2 (01:06:04):
Banks has been a fascinating subject.

Speaker 4 (01:06:08):
What for me because she has made several comments about
the queer folks. She's made several comments. One of my
favorite hangings of hers is when she hated Listo. She
was like, I fucking hate you fat Lisso. Like she
just would just call her fat Lisso. And I was like,

(01:06:29):
like like color feat lista like that was a government
name like I hat and I was like, well, it's
like it was just like like like this was like
years ago, and this was like like is there a
skinning listener?

Speaker 1 (01:06:41):
Like what's what?

Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
What what does that mean? She came out, She came out.
I used a few like a month or so ago.

Speaker 4 (01:06:53):
She made comments about the about the war in Gaza,
and I was like, oh, this is interesting, like and
you're just sting her lane. I do wonder where and
why she can say some outlandish ship at all, like
but with this last one it also it's like it's

(01:07:15):
like I can't help but laugh because she's like.

Speaker 2 (01:07:19):
Being queer's a trauma response.

Speaker 1 (01:07:20):
And I'm like, well, like, so's that wigg on your hand,
but that's not that you're here northrosis I'm.

Speaker 4 (01:07:27):
Like, I'm not queer because I'm like, I'm not queer
aus I have trauma, but you have trauma because I'm weird.

Speaker 6 (01:07:31):
But like.

Speaker 1 (01:07:33):
Like okay, but also I'm like, girl, like you.

Speaker 4 (01:07:36):
Can't build your whole fame literally off of the backs
off of the backs of ballroom music and the same
people who are trans culture and then like and and then.

Speaker 1 (01:07:44):
Be like k like what and so, but she always like.

Speaker 2 (01:07:53):
Serious serious thought, I do.

Speaker 4 (01:07:57):
You know you're talk get me canceled on the show
even it's this show bitch no I But I do,
like I do truly have wonder or care for like
for like the state of her comprehensive health, because she
has often says things. I'm like, girl, you see things
are just a little bit maybe too far patched for me.
And I do wonder, like what is a state of

(01:08:18):
mind that you're in and how how as I'm impacting?
Sometimes I do wonder like like do you just do
you just like say ship to like to like to
like get aroused off of people, like like could be.

Speaker 2 (01:08:31):
Like like like you have some bops just like make
the bombs and call that good damn day.

Speaker 4 (01:08:35):
Okay, But also but like don't like but I'm almost
almost like you may bops that feature like ballroom icon.
So I'm also like, so it's just it's so interesting
to me because I'm like, so you're telling me that
you were like like, hey girl, come being this gig
for me three years ago, and then you're like, oh,
but like beating us, girl, you aren't real like.

Speaker 2 (01:08:57):
Make it make sense? Can just make makes a sense.

Speaker 4 (01:08:59):
So I'll just say once I loved up star is
a crazy statement because I'm not gonna crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:09:05):
That.

Speaker 2 (01:09:05):
I'm like, I'm like, was she ever beloved? Was she
never the community? Would you call her a star? And
in some cases I.

Speaker 1 (01:09:12):
Can give her this star is a literally a what
is it? What are the kids saying? It is a
stretch the kids stretch.

Speaker 2 (01:09:22):
I can give her this from her music.

Speaker 4 (01:09:26):
If she if she wasn't, if she didn't say the
thing she said, I think she would have gone farther
in her in her fame, and you know, and and
like and like like, yes, I can acknowledge that possibly
she deserves more credit for her work. And I'm like,
but you, but when you do clown ship the clown

(01:09:46):
person and clown that comes to your door, you can't
be surprised. I want, I want to hear me and
don't don't no one did that sound and saying I
think she deserves more.

Speaker 2 (01:09:56):
I'm not one.

Speaker 4 (01:09:57):
That's not what I'm saying. But to be really good,
no one did the no that sound by me, And like,
oh Jovah thinks Les deserves more. I'm saying I can
see the case. I can see the case for it
based just off of the work that she's out. The
objectively is good music, but she's a trash person and it's.

Speaker 1 (01:10:14):
Very James, I'm gonna throws to you, but it's giving.
I have to be balanced giving very much Nicki Minaj
and and sorry to sorry to the girls who like
Nikki that listen to this show. But it's very much
giving Nicky because Nikki very much is in my mind
Nicki has made some songs that I think are cute,
but it's very much giving. Something is not right with her,

(01:10:34):
and that's every time I hear about Azila, that's exactly
where my mind goes. Like she's very much a created
She's a very creative person who is tormented by a
lot of the stuff that goes on in their head.
I'm gonna say more in a second, but go ahead, James,
what are your thoughts?

Speaker 6 (01:10:49):
I just I mean you, Joe, that your very last statement.
I was like, that's the that's a whole cover. I
think I've had this topic before, separating the person from
the art, and we have. Yeah, it's a whole because
we can rattle off a whole bunch of Michael Jackson.
We wrote about footballhole, bunch of people, the person from
the art because I'm not and y'all don't be cutting

(01:11:11):
this up into a clip for me either, because I'm
not even so y'all can't edit. This has had some bots. Okay,
we've all been like be bopping to some stuff. I'm like,
the beat is cute, so maybe it was the producer.
I don't know, y Narcissistic personality disorder comes across my brain.

(01:11:32):
I have to probably say this because I am a diagnostician.
I do not know her, I do not treat her.
I've never met her, so this is not an official diagnosis. However,
she demonstrates many characteristics of two different things. One I
don't like this word, but it's the legal definition is
still histrionic personality order and narcissistic personality disorder. Very grandiose thinking,

(01:11:59):
a very grandiose thinking about oneself over exaggerating oneself worth.

Speaker 1 (01:12:04):
It's very much giving Kanye, also.

Speaker 6 (01:12:06):
Very much giving Kanye very much very intentionally doing like
behavioral seeking things or behaviors that will that let you
get your attention, attention to behaviors. Lack of empathy, and
that's the one that really gets me because I she
will say certain things and do certain things like for us,
for the community or whatever that that Like you said, Joe, She'

(01:12:28):
done built her fan base off of but there's there's
zero empathy, like she's she has got no empathy for
the people she talks about on ex Twitter. There's zero
empathy for all of this. And that to me, as
a like a medical professional, I'm like, there's that that
that when we don't have the empathy there, we start
getting into the different personality disorders. And so I have

(01:12:49):
about her that said, I think we're done. I think
we're done platforming her, right, Yeah, yeah, out needs to
write articles about it so that we ain't got to
talk about it, Like I don't think I think.

Speaker 1 (01:13:02):
This was the nail in the coffin. And I'll say,
she reminds me of you know, you have that one
cousin who comes around and you're always like, they gonna
say something really pissed me off, and you and you
try to give them the benefit of the douct because
you know they're not well right, and and you just go,

(01:13:25):
they got one more time to say something out of pocket.
To me, That's how I feel about her, Like I'm
literally at this place with her where I'm like, I'm
so sick of us giving her any attention when we
know that, like you said, she's not well, and I've
said that she's not well for years. But I think
the other thing is is that she knows this is
the other thing too. And I want to say this.

(01:13:47):
You know again, this is not attack on the white
gay listeners that we have here, but I also think
that there's something to be said about how we oftentimes
look at this and we laugh and we ki ki
and we keep allowing this person to keep saying and
doing these things, and then we get mad when folks
on the other side I mean other side, I'm meaning
people that are not a part of the community say

(01:14:08):
and do things to us. We need to be very
clear that the stuff she is saying is only going
to give the other folks more energy to say and
do the things that they keep doing. So we have
to make a we have to make a kind of
a statement, or we have to really kind of like
show up and say we're not going to allow this person.

(01:14:29):
And I'm really doing my best not to call her
out of her name and to say terrible things about her,
because I recognize that black women already get that enough
on the internet just being a black woman. I'm really
trying to be kind here. But what I'm saying is
is we've got to be very careful as a community
to keep allowing her to come in and say this
kind of stuff and by supporting her, meaning retweeting the

(01:14:50):
stuff she's saying and following her, and we, like you said, James,
like we've got I think we need to move to
a place where we start to figure out how to
deplatform her because old she's giving other people that are
not a part of our community. The I hate using
the word ammunition, but it's really what it is. We're
giving them the ammunition to keep coming after us and
to feel like it's value. Well, Fazilia can say it

(01:15:12):
and y'all laugh and y'all kieky about it. What's what
me saying? Right, y'all you know you have you're mentally unstable, right,
it's okay to say that, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:15:24):
I also do, I really do. I Like, I think
I think this really seriously, I really do.

Speaker 4 (01:15:31):
Like whoever knows her find her some help, like I
think right like like like you mentioned how it reminds
us of Kanye, and I think one thing, one of
the big things I think all the law is I
don't Thinkanye ever got the help you actually needed to
like not become stilling right and like and like now
it's like too foregone for that. And I'm like and
I'm like, I like I wish that, like I don't

(01:15:51):
want it to happen to like to another black person,
so like like like like like deplatform her and get
her help if someone knows her, get her, get her
some gear support, go through to an.

Speaker 1 (01:16:04):
Apointment, and like we can't laugh it off. We can't
laugh it off. It's really not funny.

Speaker 4 (01:16:09):
Because that's the thing as well, too, is like it's
like like a lot a lot a lot of people
like Kiki ha like like a lot of people like
running her off with jokes and I'm like, okay, but
she's all to your point, she's exhibiting behaviors that are
consistent with like with with potential like challenges, and like
we're laughing it off, and no one's that she need

(01:16:30):
to give the help of she and she needs to
maybe like work through those.

Speaker 2 (01:16:34):
Challenges as well.

Speaker 4 (01:16:35):
And so it's like as much like as much as
I I want us to do platform.

Speaker 2 (01:16:39):
I do want to.

Speaker 4 (01:16:40):
I want us to do platform her, and I want
us to like say like you're like like you actually
like you actually don't need to have like you need
to have like this is not your lane anymore.

Speaker 2 (01:16:49):
Now.

Speaker 4 (01:16:49):
I also want people to say, like, let's also let's
also get you the support you need to get better,
so you also aren't like wrecking habit two communities and
interesting like like she's like she's harming herself, like the
community like only harms her own work.

Speaker 1 (01:17:08):
Right, Yeah, you.

Speaker 4 (01:17:10):
Don't like you, like we don't want you to see,
we don't want we don't want to see you do
self harm either, so like let's get the help you
need to not do self harm.

Speaker 1 (01:17:17):
I yeah, I'm I'm really done with her, like I've
been done with her, but I'm really done with her.
Yeah yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:17:26):
I'm watching.

Speaker 4 (01:17:26):
When I saw that, I definitely was like, let me
let me unlike why she her last statement about the
war in Gaza. I was like, let me take her
songs off my play list, which can be very sad
because I was.

Speaker 1 (01:17:38):
Like, yeah, I know you like her, and so even
me adding this to the the I don't like her,
you like her I get it. I get it.

Speaker 4 (01:17:48):
If I heard two and two in the club, I
was in the two and too. Yes it was yes, yeah,
I know it was so cute. It's just how just
how it was and now and now when in DJ
plays it, I have to walk out.

Speaker 1 (01:18:00):
The club, you gotta boom like that. It's the same
way when people boo when.

Speaker 4 (01:18:05):
People I think my phone where it's like play something else,
like all flashing letters like that.

Speaker 2 (01:18:16):
For you, me and Debree.

Speaker 5 (01:18:19):
Just so just like just so ruined all of it.

Speaker 4 (01:18:22):
So anyways, Sam, conversation with you keept this from last week, bitch,
I hate you.

Speaker 2 (01:18:31):
Now that we've had a conversation with the person in
the mirror and asks them to change their ways, well
you know what.

Speaker 4 (01:18:37):
It applieslies like it has apply.

Speaker 1 (01:18:42):
So yes, run that ship back again. Yes, yes, you
want to.

Speaker 4 (01:18:46):
Take one more breaking come back with your favorite segment
more and just a sec.

Speaker 1 (01:18:58):
All right, So we are back, and we're I'm gonna
blaze through this because we are literally who We've been
here for a minute. So I'm just gonna say my
yes ma'am this week very quickly. I just want to
say shout out to the white folks who respect black
spaces and black people in spaces. And what I specifically
want to say is that I recognized when I when
I went to Cowboy Carter twice. I went went twice.

(01:19:20):
There were some white folks around us who were filming
and they were having a really good time, and I
could just there were moments where I could tell that
they noticed that one of my peers, somebody was with me,
was uncomfortable, and they like checked themselves and it was
very much like are you good? Are you? I just
want to make sure you're okay. I'm make sure you're
having a good time. And it was just a really thing.
It was a really cool thing to experience that, to

(01:19:42):
see that there there was a moment. I did have
a moment at this in particular show, the one I
was in Vegas, were almost have to go off on
somebody because two white gays walked to me and was like,
you're in my seat. They didn't ask me, they were
just like you're in my seat. And I was like, oh, babe,
you need to check your tickets again because I'm not.
But yeah, yeah, that happened, and it was it was
really nice shout out to the two black girls that
were behind me because they were like, whoa, whoa, You

(01:20:03):
not just gonna run up over here and start throwing accusation.
It was really nice that they came to my defense
before we could even get into a tiff. They walked
away because I think that they saw everybody around us
was ready to jump on them. However, there were two
white gays that were on the other side of us
who were just really, really really spatially and emotionally aware
of where they were, and it was a really cool

(01:20:26):
thing to experience. And for those of you who know,
like you have white friends who get it, you have
white friends who don't take up the air and spaces
and you just it's nice. It's a nice thing to have.
So I just wanted to say shout out to the
two white gays who were sitting next to us at
the Cowboy Carter show. Y'all were amazing and y'all made
the show so much more fun. I have a couple,
but I want to make sure that I run through
them very very like I said quickly my Nomaan Pam

(01:20:49):
the whole Jeens conversation. We know what it is, we
know what these companies are doing. I don't know if
you all saw it. But there was another one that
came out yesterday from Dunkin Donuts where that guess they
were talking about good jeans. A lot of these companies
are really talking about. They're trying to hide conversations of
eugenics in their marketing schemes. And I want to make

(01:21:10):
it very clear that that is exactly what you all
are seeing in the conversations that you all are having.
Is one exactly what these marketing companies want you to do.
But they're also trying to hide the idea that this
is not what's really happening. They're trying to basically gaslight
you and say, oh, that's not a thing. No, no,
it is a thing. They want you to be thinking

(01:21:31):
that your jeans and I say genes meaning g E
N E S is not a good thing. And that
is the reason why they are putting these things out
and why they have yet to put out a statement
to retract or say that they were sorry for the
for the ads. I also want to say, fuck, oh girl,
I think her name is something Sweeney. What is her name?
Sydney spells here forgetting online? And what her white girl

(01:21:53):
tears being names? You're being still mean to be bitch.
You knew you got paid handsomely for that ad, You
knew exactly what the fuck it was. You knew exactly
how I was gonna read people or rub people the
wrong way. And now you're trying to get online and
you're trying to play the victim. Car You're doing exactly
what white women do when they get caught up in
bad situations, and I don't see it for you or
other white women like you, who know exactly what the

(01:22:14):
fuck they're doing. I just had to say what you
needed to be saying. The next thing I want to
say is people congratulating me on losing weight. I want
to make that very clear. I am not trying to
lose weight. Losing weight is something that is happening with
the medicine that I am on. If I had my choice,
I would be eating all the fucking candy, donuts, chicken,

(01:22:39):
corn dogs, hot dogs, whatever you name it. I would
be eating all of it if I could. But I can't.
My medicine does not allow me to. Everyone knows that
I talked about this. I am on ozimbic and it
is fucking awful. If I had my way, I would
never jab myself with it because I hate the fucking
side effects. But what I'm really trying to say in
this thing is, do not come gratulate people on weight

(01:23:01):
loss because you do not know what they are going
through in said weight loss. It may look like or
may feel like a good thing to you, but for
many of us who are losing weight honestly against our will,
it's not fun. I wish I could eat the way
I want to eat. I wish I could enjoy food
the way I used to enjoy it, and I don't.
And so when you remind me that I'm losing weight,

(01:23:21):
you're real you're initially reiterating this idea in my own
head that I don't enjoy food anymore, and it fucking sucks.
So just keep your comments of people's body to yourself, please.
That is just really what I wanted to say.

Speaker 6 (01:23:34):
Other people's body is not your business.

Speaker 1 (01:23:37):
T Like, I'm not losing weight for you to think
that I look good. I'm losing weight because it is
a side effect of the medication that I am on, period.
So I just want to make sure I make that
very clear. The last thing, Fuck Colgan, fuck his family,
Fuck anybody who is huge. The Oh, black people. Why
are y'all so man? You can't speak about you can't
speak poorly about people in death? Yes you can, Yes

(01:23:59):
you can, you can. Hulk Hogan was a terrible person
while he was here, and he died, and he died
being a terrible person. And so now I'm going to
talk about the fact that he was a terrible person
while he is dead. And if he was so concerned
or his family was so concerned about him being a
terrible person, he would have been better while he was alive,
but he wasn't. So with that being said, he's a

(01:24:22):
terrible person. Fuck him and fuck his family because they
allowed him to be a terrible person and they did
terrible things with him too. And yeah, that's it. I
was gonna go in on Ozzy Osbourne, but I have
not been able to to to to back up my claims.
So I'm gonna be nice to Sharon and I'm gonna
be nice to Ozzy Cogan.

Speaker 6 (01:24:43):
Glasses.

Speaker 1 (01:24:44):
Yes, that's all I got, Jojo, I'm gonna turn it
over to you. Let's okay, go ahead, James.

Speaker 6 (01:24:53):
My Yes, I know this is a little broad, it's
not necessarily as specific, but I I really do want
to give some shoutouts to I'm gonna go on your
theme of white people. There have been some white folks
who have really been standing up to Ice.

Speaker 1 (01:25:11):
Yes, yes, and I cannot see it.

Speaker 6 (01:25:17):
I see it, and I cannot also reiterate to all
the white folks listening that that's the only way this
is gonna stop. Like when black and brown folks stand
up to Ice, we get shot or we get to
parts or whatever. Right citizens or not, it doesn't matter.
So it's gonna have to be y'all. Y'all saw that

(01:25:37):
video that cute skinny white girl in the parking lot
of Target or whatever. She stood those whole and they
weren't even really Ice. They were those dudes playing. She
stood them down and her girl recorded the whole thing
and she was tricksy LaDou just coming from yoga practice whatever,
going to Lululemon. I've not been more proud of her.
So thank y'all. That's they might have been. Pam, Yes,

(01:25:59):
Ma'm pam, thank you very much. Like we have to
we have to keep this energy, like y'all cannot just
we have to houses whatever my nomam, pam. Since we're
moving quickly, I have a couple. But uh, this is
super nerdy. But you you asked the healthcare guy to
be on there is probably going to eliminate all fourteen

(01:26:22):
people from the US Preventative Task Force, and those are
the people who determine things like what should cancer screening
guidelines be? What we talked about like oaambic, like what
what people? What are the safety regulations? What are the

(01:26:42):
recommendations for blood pressure medication? What are the vaccine schedules?
Controversial vaccines are not vaccine. He's getting rid of all
of those people because they are ready for it. Quote
two quote So we the guidelines by which which I
practice won't be coming from the CDC because those divisions

(01:27:05):
are already gone, right, and then the other agency that did,
the US State Prevented the Task Force, is now gone.
So we are literally going to be floating out in
the wind in terms of updating the guidelines based on
the science and the evidence and the research about when
we should things like we give black people colonoscopies earlier
now because there was such a high rate there still

(01:27:27):
is such a high rate of colon cancer and we
weren't catching it early enough in black folks. So like
where if you're forty five, where you have a previous
family history, you get that colonoscopy. It used to be fifty.
The US Preventative Task Force are the people who got
together and said, wow, the black people getting colon cancer,
we need to detect this earlier because colon cancer is

(01:27:47):
one hundred percent curable if you detected early, right, those
are the people that did that. Those people are not
out of a job because of RFK. So that is
my no man, Pam, fuck him.

Speaker 1 (01:27:57):
Yeah, it's forever. Fuck fuck everybody who voted for this.
But yeah, definitely that joho.

Speaker 4 (01:28:04):
Oh so sad.

Speaker 6 (01:28:07):
Sorry, I don't know you listen, you gave the medical
provider every downer.

Speaker 2 (01:28:12):
You know you know how we do? I mean god,
I mean my my.

Speaker 4 (01:28:17):
Name is also meth related. So I will start with that.
It's just that black station rates are are are even
lower for children as studies have shown that that child
have vaccine.

Speaker 2 (01:28:32):
Rates are down.

Speaker 1 (01:28:33):
And I.

Speaker 4 (01:28:39):
I'm not a parent, so like I'll lead with that.
But if you have a child and you want your
child to be safe, I don't understand why you wouldn't
want to do all the things that can make them
safe and healthy.

Speaker 1 (01:28:53):
Because people don't believe though, that this stuff is safe,
even though I'm we're even though we're still here to
tell you it's safe. Do you get what I'm saying?

Speaker 2 (01:29:05):
Like I don't.

Speaker 1 (01:29:05):
It doesn't make sense to me, But go off. I'm sorry.

Speaker 4 (01:29:07):
I mean that is I must like girl, you will
you will drink, you'll drink moonshine from bathtub, but she
will tell me that the vaccine is not safe.

Speaker 1 (01:29:17):
Okay, you won't, you won't take a shower for five days.

Speaker 2 (01:29:20):
You'll sniff poppers, but won't tell me that.

Speaker 6 (01:29:22):
But some of the vaccines not safe, Like yeah, like
please please wave no man, pam to.

Speaker 4 (01:29:26):
Folks who just don't believe in like what science has
been telling us for years. Definitely my pam like fuck
RFK to the max, Like I.

Speaker 1 (01:29:37):
Like, it's frustrating.

Speaker 4 (01:29:40):
It's also just like wild to descend from a family
name that like, I mean, who's to say how good
he was? But like just sending from a president that
people really loved and such to be this person, it's
just like girl, just like who am like? And it's
also like you you you know like you.

Speaker 2 (01:30:02):
And this is that I wish we would realize.

Speaker 4 (01:30:04):
Like back during COVID times when people when people were
get seriously right, and there are all these all these
congress members who are like, don't give vaccines.

Speaker 2 (01:30:12):
They all got vaccines. It's like just you all know
they all got vaccine.

Speaker 4 (01:30:16):
So like they're saying you, they're telling you, don't do it,
but they had to get there, so like right, like
you have to stop trusting people that don't have don't
have to be heart like those those and like and lucky,
like fuck y'all for thinking, but like fuck y'all for
believing that, Like I don't, I don't wish harm on you, right,
but fuck you for participating in the in like the

(01:30:38):
ruin of our country.

Speaker 2 (01:30:42):
And I just I'm like one California succeed I I'm
ready for California. I'm ready.

Speaker 1 (01:30:48):
Please please please let's think it happened. It would make
so much easier.

Speaker 4 (01:30:54):
Stop this, stop this the mast podcast with sucking with
with with with with what's his name that like that
dumb as the dumb ass man I.

Speaker 1 (01:31:01):
Know podcast, and just please focus on succeeding us.

Speaker 4 (01:31:06):
Yes, thank you, yes, spam pam to movement as well,
like one thing that my one thing that helps me,
Like I also love to go and get some movement
in have a huge plus too much, Like I've been
doing these like queer leagues for sports and do a
dollar ball and pickball league, and I'm just like so
thankful for the ability to go and get out, Like

(01:31:27):
I know that after this I will then rage and
like throw balls at people, and I'm really and I'm
really excited to like to hit some people in the head,
the chest wherever, you know, and just and like and
like and yeah, like I just I'm thankful movement.

Speaker 2 (01:31:44):
I'm grateful with a gift of a body that can move.

Speaker 4 (01:31:47):
It a gift, have a body that can move the
way that does move it, a gift to be able
to do fun with people that I really appreciate.

Speaker 2 (01:31:55):
And you are the very least. Don't bother me too much.

Speaker 4 (01:31:58):
It's very very very thankful, very thankful from very thankful
for that.

Speaker 2 (01:32:04):
Okay, yeah that's my mys.

Speaker 1 (01:32:08):
Okay, Yeah, Well, this this was a very I would
say we had a lot to say this episode, and
I'm finding that we have a lot more to say.
And I think a big part of that too is
the fact that there's just so much fucking ship that
keeps happening and it's like you can't. Every time you
look up, there's something else that's either not happening or

(01:32:29):
something is happening and it's causing I was gonna I
was gonna go back to the standard the comment that
you made real quick James about white folks standing up.
I also want to say shout out to the black
people who are also doing it too, who recognize the risk.
I have seen videos. I have also been even in
my own community. I've been seeing what is it? So

(01:32:51):
I have I forget what it's called. It's I think
it might be next door. We have the next door
app and you can see who are the folks that
are pulled what. And there've been a lot of black
people who have been really like posting just to remind
folks like to be careful and to be cautious about
the different ice folks that are around here. And so
it's just nice. It's really nice to see that, even
in the midst of what may feel like chaos and

(01:33:13):
it feels like no community, or it feels like everyone's
kind of distancing and kind of siloing themselves for safety,
it still feels like we're seeing family folks doing what
they can to protect one another. It's just a beautiful thing.
But I fail of that to say thank you for
you know, those of you who send your thoughts, please
send your feedback. Please keep sending the emails. We love

(01:33:34):
to read them. You can send them over to us
at Blackfatfempod at gmail dot com. You can also interact
with us on Twitter on threads. Not Twitter, you can
interact with us on Instagram threads, blue sky trying to
think of up TikTok. I know some of you shoot
us dms on TikTok. That's fun too, So yeah, Blackfatfempod,
that is where you can find all of the goodness

(01:33:56):
that is blackfatfem. But that being said, James, where can
the dolls find you? And thank you again for being
here and being so vulnerable while you were here.

Speaker 6 (01:34:04):
Thank you for having me. I honestly, I love it.
I love the conversation. It was awesome. Y'all pull it
out of me. Oh that's what she said. So where
can you find me? At doctor James Q. Simmons, all
over socials at d R James Q. Simmons. I'm specifically
really trying to focus on YouTube, so I'm doing the

(01:34:26):
little cute little I'm doing shorts and I'm doing long
form comment content about some stuff I really dive in deep.
So if y'all are like ready to hang out with
me for twelve or fifteen minutes about one topic a
week on YouTube, going.

Speaker 1 (01:34:38):
Ahead, hit me up over there, all right? I know
that's right? Uh? And miss Jo hoo queen queen up
the damns? Where can they find you as well?

Speaker 5 (01:34:51):
Hey?

Speaker 2 (01:34:55):
I hate here so much. Y'all can find me every ever,
say every week? Every where? Do you find me? Where
am I?

Speaker 6 (01:35:01):
Where am I? Who am I?

Speaker 4 (01:35:05):
How?

Speaker 1 (01:35:05):
Why is you here?

Speaker 2 (01:35:08):
I Jojo Dann's across all socials every day.

Speaker 4 (01:35:11):
I'm chronically online, even though it was chronically comes to
me stressed my website journails dot com.

Speaker 2 (01:35:17):
If not that, you will find me at.

Speaker 4 (01:35:18):
Your my local corner style having a ment b trying
to numb myself as in and kettle chips. I like
some of those vices. Some people's vices is worse case,
just a jar caso, maybe a gummy. If you will
see me either crashing out or crashing.

Speaker 1 (01:35:40):
In, Who's I had a moment this weekend where I
found myself being like, I'm gonna just go ahead, revert
back to my old self, and I ate a whole
donut by myself, knowing damn well, I shouldn't have, and
I regret it. I regret that you probably felt some
kind of way my stomach, baby, the way that me
and sugar are no longer friends, the way we used

(01:36:02):
to be. Like immediately as soon as I was done
eating it, my body was like, okay, girl, do not
do this again. And I've I listened this whole week.
I've been real good about not touching any sugar. But
I definitely will say, like I feel you about that,
you know, having having your vices, and so mine is
going to always be donuts. It will. That's just the

(01:36:23):
way it's going to be. And we'll just keep fighting.
As for me and mine, you can find me down
to the ww dot doctor John Paul begging y'all to
please continue to run up these numbers on this book.
Just just because I'm not talking about it doesn't mean
that it doesn't exist. So please go down there and
purchase the book. You can find it also down to
the Amazon. You can find it at Bonds and Noble.

(01:36:45):
You can find it in your local bookstore wherever you
buy your books. You can also watch my spall on
ABC Our America Who I'm Meant to Be also promoting
that you can watch that on ABC or Hulu. And yeah,
I might be out on a corner with a sign
that just says aliens. If you're really here.

Speaker 6 (01:37:03):
And you're with us, please take me.

Speaker 1 (01:37:06):
Please tell me how to get the funk away from here.

Speaker 6 (01:37:09):
Do something.

Speaker 1 (01:37:12):
Out here, Please get me up out of here. I
just want I just want to answer. If you've been here,
how how do I leave? Because I know you know.

Speaker 2 (01:37:23):
This is how you know they're not real? Because why
haven't they come for me yet?

Speaker 4 (01:37:26):
Right?

Speaker 2 (01:37:27):
Why have you come to me that you come from.

Speaker 6 (01:37:31):
You don't go down the Amazon Prime rabbit hole of
are the Aliens still really here? Because you think it's bad?
On YouTube? They have a whole ass documentaries on Amazon Prime.
Not Wow watch tonight and it will.

Speaker 1 (01:37:45):
I know a couple of people who I think are aliens.

Speaker 6 (01:37:48):
I was like, there are no aliens, James, just knock
it off. They do not live up underneath you in
the backyard. But don't watch to the ground up in
the ocean. Baby.

Speaker 1 (01:38:02):
And you know I've heard that, I've heard that idea.
I think people say that they've heard I'll.

Speaker 6 (01:38:06):
Go down there.

Speaker 1 (01:38:07):
I had to.

Speaker 6 (01:38:07):
I went down that rabbit hole for a while, and
I had to bring myself right back on.

Speaker 1 (01:38:11):
Okay, if any of you you know I would, I'm
gonna say this to our listeners. If any of you
have ever met an alien or have had any type
of interaction with an alien, come on, please let us know.

Speaker 6 (01:38:24):
I'm coming back for that podcast.

Speaker 1 (01:38:26):
I want to know. I want to know if you've
ever met an alien, if you've ever been abducted, if
you've ever been able to see that light, if a
light has ever just come over your head in the
middle of a field and you felt something pull you up.
I want to know that. I want to know more
about it. So email us Blackfatfempod at gmail dot com,
come on down and tell us your story. With that

(01:38:47):
being said, we want to thank our super producer Bay
Wang for handling all the logistics in everyone over at
iHeartMedia for keeping this nutty ass show up and going, honey,
I swear to god, it's so fun, but at the
end of the day, we some no. We also like
to shout out our wonderful editor Chris Rogers, as we
always do because without him there would be no audio
or visuals for down to the tubes of you or

(01:39:08):
for you all to listen to. This has been another show,
say black fat films and fabulous and remember what Jojo.

Speaker 4 (01:39:15):
We may not be a cup of tea girl, but
don't be drinking that fat tom tia either.

Speaker 2 (01:39:19):
That just how smart and call that good m Day.

Speaker 1 (01:39:22):
Yes, yes he's yes. And alien water, Stay away from
alien water. I don't know what that is, but I'm
sure it exists somewhere. I love us for real and
until next week, take care of yourself please here James
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