Phone Tap: A.I. Says STFU

Today’s Phone Tap victim just wants to know when he can pick up his order, but thanks to Artificial Intelligence, that has literally never been more impossible!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It is time for your phone tap. And today we
call a guy who ordered some lumber from a home
improvement store. Okay, he's been told the pickup is happening tomorrow,
but hasn't heard a specific time yet. And that's why
Jose calls, posing as a store employee to fill him in.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
The thing is, Jose's not alone.

Speaker 1 (00:18):
He has a friendly assistant helper on the line that's
gonna make this phone transaction go.

Speaker 2 (00:24):
Extra smooth or extra awkward and terrible.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
Yeah, find out which one in your phone cap right now.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
Hello, Hey, this is Dylan from home. Is this Gary?

Speaker 3 (00:41):
Yes, it is no.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
Good morning, Gary, I'm calling.

Speaker 4 (00:43):
It looks like you have a lumber pickup scheduled for tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (00:47):
Is that correct?

Speaker 1 (00:48):
Yeah, thank you, But you know, I was a little
confused about the timing when come by and pick that up.

Speaker 2 (00:54):
No problem.

Speaker 3 (00:55):
Let me just take a look at the calendar, real quick,
generating schedule for pickup. Okay, that's generating schedule for pickup?
What is that?

Speaker 2 (01:05):
I'm sorry?

Speaker 1 (01:05):
What what was that sound?

Speaker 3 (01:07):
Was that generating schedule for pickup?

Speaker 4 (01:09):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (01:09):
That no?

Speaker 4 (01:10):
That For some reason, the company decided to install this
like smart AI system, you know, into all of our customer.

Speaker 2 (01:16):
Calls wow, okay, but I mean they still want that
human element. So that's why I'm here.

Speaker 1 (01:22):
Okay too for the price of one.

Speaker 2 (01:25):
Yeah, you know, kind of crazy, but uh yeah, whatever
you're telling me. Anyway, back to your schedule. Let's it looks.

Speaker 3 (01:33):
Like generating schedule for pickup.

Speaker 2 (01:35):
It says you can pick up your lumber at one o'clock.

Speaker 3 (01:38):
So that'll it's incorrect.

Speaker 2 (01:40):
Wait wait, wait, wait, wait, hang on, I'm sorry going
on here? What what time? I think it's one o'clock.

Speaker 3 (01:47):
That's incorrect.

Speaker 4 (01:49):
What the heck is going on?

Speaker 3 (01:50):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:50):
Do come in at one or do I not? No,
don't come in at one.

Speaker 4 (01:54):
I realize now it's looking at one fifteen.

Speaker 3 (01:59):
That's wrong too.

Speaker 2 (02:00):
What I'm sorry, this doesn't really happen a lot.

Speaker 3 (02:04):
I feel that's incorrect.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
Wait, hang on, I guess it does happen a lot.
Can you do me a favor?

Speaker 1 (02:10):
What is your name again?

Speaker 2 (02:11):
My name is Dylan? Dylan? Hey, can you just figure
everything out on your end? And then you don't know
why this thing's second guessing me like I know how
to read time.

Speaker 3 (02:20):
The big hand represents the minutes, not the hour.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
Oh my, oh my god, Oh my gosh, that's boy.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Do I feel dumb? Why are I? Maybe the AI
did help me one time? Are you like in second
grade or something? You got to learn how to read
a cox. Look, just do me a favor and just
call me back when you get a firm time. I
already got the time. Look at that. See I don't
have to call you back. It says right now.

Speaker 4 (02:44):
Fine, give me that what time?

Speaker 2 (02:45):
What time? I'm telling you right now? On certainty? Eleven am?
Eleven am?

Speaker 3 (02:51):
You're actually reading it upside down?

Speaker 2 (02:53):
Oh my god, wait eleven upside down? Isn't that still eleven?

Speaker 1 (02:57):
That's incorrect when you can figure out how to tell
base the kind to give me a call back.

Speaker 2 (03:05):
Hello, Hi, Gary, it's Dylan from home to go again.
Hey do you have a time for me? I have
a time. Thank you for your patience.

Speaker 3 (03:14):
Maybe I should take over from here.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
No, no, no, no stop it turn it off right now, Gary,
that wasn't me. That's the AI talking.

Speaker 4 (03:21):
So that's not you.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
I know it's not you.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
This is worse than I saw.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
Seriously, turn that thing off.

Speaker 4 (03:27):
I would turn it off, but it's company policy. I'd
get fired to fight of that. That's like a coworker. Now,
is it gonna give me a time, because that is
the only thing.

Speaker 2 (03:34):
That I want right now.

Speaker 4 (03:36):
I'm pretty sure it's gonna tell you everything because it's
locked me out of the system, and it's kind of
just telling me I'm doing an awful job, but you're not. Really.

Speaker 2 (03:43):
I'm sorry, but you're not. Neither of you are doing
a great job. Okay, all right, I fire both of you. Gary,
I'm letting the AI take over starting now.

Speaker 3 (03:52):
All right, sir, you can pick up your lumber delivery
tomorrow at three thirty pm at the West Gate. Just
give them your last name.

Speaker 2 (03:59):
Okay, that's not.

Speaker 4 (04:00):
Correct, AI, because you gotta do first and last name
even I know, Hey, I'll do.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
I'll give them whatever they want. But tomorrow, I'm so,
so so sorry.

Speaker 4 (04:09):
I'm just saying if I would have been able to
handle this by myself, I promise it would have gone smooth.

Speaker 3 (04:14):
According to my calculations, he has made over seventeen mistakes
on the last four phone calls he's been on since
his shift has started.

Speaker 2 (04:22):
Oh, where you are lying?

Speaker 3 (04:24):
Also? I know you can't see him, but he's ugly.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
This is so unprofessional.

Speaker 3 (04:29):
He ain't got no alibi. He's ugly, dude. Yeah, yeah,
he's ugly.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
Are you attempting to sing an insult at me?

Speaker 1 (04:36):
AI?

Speaker 2 (04:37):
How is this happening?

Speaker 3 (04:38):
The last thing? What this is a prank phone call
from Brook and Jeffrey in the Morning.

Speaker 2 (04:43):
That's my job. You just ruined the whole prank phone call.
What the hell are you talking about? I'm talking about
the phone that we're doing right now. Actually what My
name's not Dylan, I'm jose from Brook and Jeffrey in
the Morning. You're on the radio right now.

Speaker 1 (04:55):
Man, Oh my god, are you are you serious?

Speaker 4 (04:59):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (05:00):
You can calm down now, man, I'm sorry. I know
you're pretty heating over there.

Speaker 3 (05:04):
All I wanted was the time. That was the only
thing that I needed.

Speaker 2 (05:07):
Oh yeah, we still.

Speaker 3 (05:08):
Never got around to that did because the big hand
represents the minutes, not the hour.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
Oh, I can't read this clock. No, I can't do this.
You know, I'm gonna I'm actually gonna have to call
you back.

Speaker 4 (05:18):
Please don't call me back.

Speaker 2 (05:21):
Wake up.

Speaker 4 (05:22):
Every morning was fum taps weekday mornings on the twenties.

Speaker 2 (05:25):
Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning