Phone Tap: Barnaby The Best Man

How quickly can you tell if you’re on the phone with a weirdo? In Today’s Phone Tap we think we’re setting a record time in that department!

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's broken Jeffrey in the morning. And how long does

(00:02):
it take being on the phone with someone till you
realize they're.

Speaker 2 (00:05):
A total weirdo?

Speaker 3 (00:07):
Like a minute?

Speaker 1 (00:08):
Would you be able to find that out in thirty seconds?

Speaker 4 (00:10):
I guess it really depends on what type of weirdo
they are.

Speaker 1 (00:13):
Yeah, today could be super super quick. When we call
a maid of honor to introduce her to the best man.
His name is Barnaby Wild. Yeah, and he's pretty inexperienced
when it comes to weddings, so he may need a
little advice, specifically about giving his speech. We'll hear how
that goes in your phone.

Speaker 2 (00:33):
Tap right now, Mornings on the twenty. Hello, greetings, Am
I speaking with Lindsay. Yes, I am John's best man.
My name is Barnaby Barnaby Way.

Speaker 4 (00:51):
Oh.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
I believe God told you today we'd be Collie.

Speaker 4 (00:55):
Yes, yes, thank you? Okay, Yes, how are you?

Speaker 2 (00:59):
Will? Salutations and congratulations because you are the maide of honor?

Speaker 4 (01:05):
Correct, Yes, yes, i am, I'm so excited, very honored.

Speaker 3 (01:10):
Yeah, how about you?

Speaker 2 (01:11):
He is how intoxicating it is to speak with you?

Speaker 4 (01:15):
Okay?

Speaker 2 (01:16):
Isn't love such a beautiful thing?

Speaker 4 (01:20):
Yes? It sure is? It sure is what can I
do for you today?

Speaker 2 (01:24):
Indubitably it is? I am calling because actually I have
not been to many weddings. Oh okay, in fact zero
unless you count me live streaming the wedding of Meghan
Markele and Prince Harry.

Speaker 3 (01:40):
Okay, well that, yeah, that was a big wedding.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Was quite erotic.

Speaker 4 (01:45):
Oh okay, he was wearing.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
His military uniform.

Speaker 3 (01:50):
Oh yes, yes he is dashing for sure. Yes, what
can I do for you?

Speaker 2 (01:56):
So? I guess we are done discussing the wedding of
the century.

Speaker 4 (02:00):
Yes, I think we've covered that.

Speaker 3 (02:02):
That's good.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
You probably are very busy attending many other weddings.

Speaker 4 (02:08):
Yes, I have been made of honor a couple of times.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
And yet you are still single.

Speaker 3 (02:15):
I am yeah.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
Yeah. Why do you suppose that is?

Speaker 4 (02:23):
I'm sure it's any number of reasons, but I'm at work.

Speaker 2 (02:26):
I only ask because, according to Prince Harry's autobiography, one
of the best places to meet loose women is at
low budget weddings.

Speaker 4 (02:35):
Okay, so what were you calling about today? Is there
something I can help you with as far as being
the best.

Speaker 2 (02:44):
Man or you know I am the best man. This
will be the first time I am giving a speech, okay,
and I just wanted to run a few things by
you since you were so experienced.

Speaker 3 (02:55):
Go ahead, just hurry.

Speaker 2 (02:57):
Wait, dear Jonathan and Jessica, we are gathered here today
on this lovely.

Speaker 3 (03:08):
You're not the justice of the peace or the priests,
so you don't really have to say that part.

Speaker 4 (03:12):
I would just get the good stuff, get to the
meat of it.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
Got it, So I will start again to whom it
make concerns.

Speaker 3 (03:20):
Okay, but you're talking to the bride McGroom, so just
say their names.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
And that's why I have an idea during my speech.

Speaker 4 (03:31):
Do not trush me.

Speaker 3 (03:32):
And you are not starting out on the right foot,
so hurry up and get to the meat of this.

Speaker 4 (03:36):
And I have to hang on.

Speaker 2 (03:37):
Maybe I shouldn't do a speech at all. Maybe I
should just read a passage from my hero's memoir.

Speaker 4 (03:43):
For God's sake.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
Here, he says, I was seven beers and four shots
deep and have not seen my trousers in dats.

Speaker 4 (03:50):
What does this have to do with Jonathan and Jessica.
Can I just ask you that.

Speaker 2 (03:54):
It is a commentary on true love. Here he continues,
that is when I saw Megan on the set of suits,
and I knew I would betray my family for her.

Speaker 4 (04:03):
Okay, listen, I'm going to have to go.

Speaker 3 (04:06):
Maybe we can touch base another time, because this is
a really bad time.

Speaker 2 (04:10):
Good before you hang up. Jessica told me specifically, I
need to talk to you about Prince Harry and Meghan Marko.

Speaker 4 (04:17):
No, I don't think she ever said that. Jessica would
not say that.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
She said to bring it up to you for this
sprank phone code that we are doing on the radio. Prank,
a prank, a prank phone code. Sometimes my voice makes
my speeches her to understand and panicking.

Speaker 4 (04:35):
I'm good, so confused.

Speaker 2 (04:36):
I must tell you the truth that I am actually
a radio host named jeff from Michelle Brook and Jeffrey
in the Morning and we're doing a phone tap on you.

Speaker 4 (04:43):
Oh my god, you guys suck so I am so embarrassed.
This is crazy.

Speaker 3 (04:51):
I listen to you guys all the time, and I've
heard you do this so many times, and I swore
to myself this would never happen to me because I'm
too smart.

Speaker 1 (05:01):
Jessica thought you might fall for because she said that
you were talking to her about the wedding and asking
if the best man was cute, so she thought we
could mess with you.

Speaker 3 (05:08):
Oh my lord, I can't believe she's such a wedd.

Speaker 2 (05:12):
I can confirm that I am cute and my name
is Boodyby.

Speaker 3 (05:17):
You know, I didn't want to be rude to Jonathan's friend,
but boy, you're trying my patient.

Speaker 2 (05:22):
Yes, but you and I are both single and at
a low budget wedding, so perhaps we can sneak away
and we can do what Harry and Meghan Michael did
to each other on page forty eight. Oh God, very naughty.

Speaker 4 (05:38):
Weeke up.

Speaker 2 (05:38):
Every morning was fun taps weekday mornings on the twenties,
Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning