November 28, 2024 • 15 mins
Jess & Camilla are weighing in on some of the juiciest, anonymous secrets submitted by the Call It Crew. From someone who slept with their teacher over 30 years their senior to an ICU nurse who had to fart and blamed it on an intubated patient, these will have you laughing so hard that you may need a diaper.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Call It what It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille Luddington,
an iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hello, Hello, Hello.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Hello, Call It Crew, and welcome to another episode of
Short and Sweet, Sweet.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Sweet and dives straight into Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
You all are the gift that keeps on giving. This
one's all about you. I dedicate this episode to you.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
And by you, she means they call it cruse the
Call It crew. Because this episode is titled what Jessica,
Just do It. I'm gonna say it.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
You need to know about this episode is that there's
not one of these submissions that isn't anonymous.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
I know, I know, and that's amazing.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
And that's why you're and this episode is about keeping
my dirty little secrets.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
I'll keep you my dirty little secret. Okay, they're all anonymous, yep.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Because and it's that time of the year where you
can just you know, unburden yourself. You can just you know,
unload the secrets or confessions. And we asked you to
and you did not disappoint. I think the best way
to do this is just to jump right in. There's
no buffer needed.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
We're just going no.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I'm starting off with the first one. Are you ready. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
In college, I found out my boyfriend was cheating, so
I collected a box of valuable things from his house,
an xbox, his huge glass, long gold necklace, and video games,
and I took them to Goodwill and dumped him after.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
He still has no idea to this day.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
I think that might be illegal.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
It's also called karma. Okay, that's what I have to
say about the next one.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
My senior year of college, I was so hungover from
a night out early the next morning I could make
it to the bathroom to vomit. So I threw up
in a huge planter in our dorm and it's stunk
for days and I've never told a soul. I still
think about it and I want to die. That's so gross.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Yeah, it's really gross.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Oh and though honestly better in there than other places.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Yeah on, like carpet where you really couldn't.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
No, it's just gross. But there's remorse, and that's.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Why we're here. Hold on, We forget.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
A small part of you that was making good decisions.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Oh my god. The next one, Oh what you know what?
Speaker 2 (02:36):
This happens more than I think we think.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Oh yeah, go read it so that they understand.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Okay, all right, I slept with my fifty year old
female teacher and I was nineteen at the time.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
That's a problem.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Who Yeah, but it's not illegal.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
It's not illegal.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
But so it's not like a crime. It's just a crime.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
It's just mess and position of power. I mean we could,
we could deep down.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Yeah yeah, yeah, no judgment. But wow, that's the secret.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
You're going to keep that one secret.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Yeah. I killed my sister's fish while taking care of
them when she was on a trip. I overfed them
and then lied about it when she came home. I
this is interesting to me because I heard the rumor
that like fish will just eat eat, and then there's
the myth or maybe fact is that their stomachs explode.
(03:31):
Oh they can't stop eating. However, my kids, I, you know,
it's like we'll feed the fish, and Lucas like I
want to feed the fish. It's like, okay, just a
little pinch and it's like, you know, a fistful goes in.
My fish are fine. So like I'm confused, like what
do you what did you give them a stake? Like
I want to know if that's true.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Hmm.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
Anyway, they're dead and nobody knows about it. They're gone.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
I call out sick to work every so often and
don't tell my husband. So I gonna have dated myself
at the house.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
That's great, that's a good one. Good for you. That shouldn't.
That doesn't even need to be anonymous. You should be
proud of that. I would have put my name on that, Okay, couldn't.
I'm in year what? Yes, I'm in year thirteen and
I hooked up with my biology teacher on a night
(04:25):
out recently.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
What is year thirteen? It's not like you're like a
year past being a senior.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
I think you're still in high school. I think this
is England is year thirteen? I got a check on this.
Hang on, now, I'm gonna do a.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
I wonder where they ran into their biology teacher on
a night out.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
That's what I was thinking. Huh And does an arrest
need to be made? Questions?
Speaker 2 (04:47):
So I don't know, Okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I lied to my best friend once about something major
and it ended with her trying to fight a person
that had nothing to do with it.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
That would be hor had to stand by. I would
feel deep, deep, deep guilt about that one. Sorry, well,
see you're anonymous. So oh yeah, tricky tricky to My
mom's best friend had a three year affair with my uncle.
It continued even when my aunt got pregnant. I caught
(05:20):
them once, but haven't said anything.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Okay, you know what.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I know that these are supposed to be salacious and
I I'm on board with it being, you know, naughty,
but this.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Is really this isn't making me sad.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Moment I do.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
That was not good.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Okay, although I have to say, I do have to
say it.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Never behooves you to be the one that tells anyone, right,
it's the message killed the messenger.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
It's not like you're going to do anything good.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
I'm gonna tell you what. That's true.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I know that's true because they.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Happens, they stay together, but they never want to see
you again because you were the one that said it.
Maybe it's an anonymous letter.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Of like I've thought about that.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Sally's having a little.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yeah, I wanted to uncle Bob. Yeah, yeah, I wanted
to do that.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Yeah, I think it's an I think it's anonymous letter time.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yep, yep, okay, uh, this is you Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
A close friend of mine befriended this wretched girl, and
they threw a huge New Year's Eve party at a
hotel and I wasn't invited. So I called the police
and tattled on them, and the party ended and they
had to pay a fine. I'm weirdly okay with that one.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
We support that absolve you of this crime.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Now we support that one.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Okay. The son of our CEO was forced on me
to be an intern on my team. I came back
from a meeting to him watching porn at his cubicle.
I was so shocked. I just never said a word
because it was so awkward. Ooh, I would have said
a word about that, and.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
You would have hell, yeah, But it would have had
to be an anonymous letter. You're not marching into your
CEO and saying, hey, your nephew Bob.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
You know't call it HR. You would have said, yeah,
I would have checked on Bob. Bob's been, Bob's at
the cubicle. Cubicle four, check on him right now, right now,
look at that search history. Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
I'm a nurse and while working on the I'm a
nurse and while working in the ICU, I had gas and.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Did you know that I was gonna have to be
this one because.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
It's my kryptonite and I can't talk about it without laughing.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
On ut. This one was meant for you.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Thank Yeah, just do it, okay.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
I'm a nurse and while working in the ICU, I
had gas and blamed my farts on the intubated pation.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
That is funny and terrible all the same time.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Also, there's something so radically with like someone laying there
intimated but the farts just going out.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Yet, Oh my god, talking.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
About someone who is intimating, because I want to know
if they're okay now okay.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Oh my god, yes, imagine if they die, You've like
spread around about them not laughing, my god to call
it crew are just they're in fine form today? Oh lord.
(08:41):
I slept with my boss, befriended his wife, and tutored
his daughter. Not my finest moment. I love the how
it's considered just a moment.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Yeah, it's a serious of moments.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Yeah, Anonymous, I can say this pretty.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
I'm not changing, however, does No, I'm not judging.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I'm calling it what it is.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
What is it? A little hand? The marks of cradle?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
It's not good.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
Do you don't it's not great. It's not a great.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Look. No, it's not.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
She I don't know if I why, I don't know why.
I think it's whatever. I know this is not your
finest moment. Glad you noticed.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
No, no, I mean you're not putting that on your resume,
are you? No? No?
Speaker 2 (09:20):
No, no, Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
In COVID, when we all had to work from home,
I was one of those people who made a fake
background photo of my home office and took my meetings
even though I wasn't in the country. We had a
strict must be home policy. And I said that I
never got caught.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
That's so smart.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Yeah, naughty. She's like, oh my god, that beaches of
Costa Rica.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Yeah, I think that's amazing. I love it. Okay, this
is fine. I'm okay with this next one. Actually, I
licked all the powdered sugar off a box of donuts
and put them back in the box and watched my
brothers eat them all. Fine with it, support it, Okay,
that's what you get for beingdon brother. It is gross, though,
(10:02):
it's gross.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Do you remember a long time ago, wasn't there something
around Ariana Grande licking donuts?
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Right? She got in trouble for that. It was on camera.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
She but she went into a.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Dunkin Donuts or something and she licked some donuts. She
was she was anonymous.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Then you know what, she's not doing that on the
Wicked Tour.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
No, she is not doing that.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
No, oh man, No, she's really funny. By the way,
on SNL she's been like hosting and she's really funny.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
And she doesn't your favorite. She does Jennifer Coolidge. She
has an impression.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Person's great impression. It's amazed.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
No, she's very funny.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Okay, this was years ago, but it's still a secret
between my friends and I to this day. My mom
and dad got divorced when I was sixteen, and just
a few months after the divorce, my younger sister told
me she had suspicions that my dad was cheating on
his new girlfriend, who had just moved in with him
after one month of dating. Our single family friend mentioned
she saw my dad on a dating app. So, being
the board seventeen year olds, we were my friend and
I put her on art detective hats and made a
(11:01):
fake dating profile. No surprise here, but we found him
with an hour of searching, and he messaged our account
within twenty minutes and asked to go on a date
and for our number. We made sure to ask if
he was in a relationship and he said no, I'm single.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
I need to know more. Where did this go? Do
you tell Daddy Dues that you've been on the app
and you trapped him?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Woow? I mean who is to be trusted? I mean,
I don't know. I can't see my sister and I
doing something like this. I support this one. I mean
I think it's dark humor, but it's humor. This is
why I love the crew, because they're just willing to
(11:47):
tell us even if it's, like, you know what, this
makes me kind of look crazy, and they still, yeah,
they give it. They give us the goods. Okay. When
I first got married to my now husband, happy birthday
card arrived at the house from his ex girlfriend. I
threw it in the trash and never told him. I
am fam with that. I finally except I think it
(12:08):
might be illegal?
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Yeah right, whatever?
Speaker 3 (12:11):
The mail open someone else's mail? Ye, So how does
she know it's from my girlfriend ex girlfriend? Well, there's
a return to address, no returning address. You put your
name and return address on things yeah, that's okay. If
it gets accidentally, you know, a little coffee spilled on it,
and then you throw it away set fire to could
(12:32):
be illegal. Tho, I'll look it up.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
All right.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
You know how if you shop at Nordstrom his rack,
you can accumulate points and discounts. I still use my
ex's number email and whenever I go, I take his
ten to twenty dollars discount based off his purchases and
use them for myself.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Smart smart person.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Okay, So whether that was naughty or nice, it's a
lot of not.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
There's a lot Listen, we're learning to call it crew.
There's a lot of people on Santa's Naughty List this year.
I know it's okay, we've all been, but hopefully this
has unburdened you and and our calling out what it
is has made you hope for a brighter, less criminal future.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
And we're we're happy to be a part of that
process for you. So that's really I got for you, and.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
I with you. It cracks me use with you, it
cracks me up. It's okay, we're all on the naughty List.
We're all gonnah gosh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, And uh
but I think that we keep saying this. I think
we need to hear more. Yeah, I mean it's a gift.
I keep saying this.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
It really is the gift that keeps on giving.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
For New Years, we need people to unburden themselves more.
I think right before this, yes, New Year's resolution.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Sometimes I get great pleasure in because it and these
were all anonymous. I get great pleasure in imagining. I
have an active imagination people who listen to this podcast,
like on a run or you know, sitting by the
ocean or on their commute to work or whatever, all
of a sudden hearing us read their submission.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
Yeah, being like, yeah, yeah, it's me, it's happening.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
I used to do that.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I used to actually, I used to call it a
kiss FM in Los Angeles where Ryan Seacrest lives, and
I would I would just hope to be have my
voice on the radio. Really Yeah, you'd have a call
in or you would like, yeah, there'd be contest contest
to win something, or you'd call in with an embarrassing
story or you know that kind of thing. And yeah,
I definitely did that, Leo with me.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Yeah, I love that. Sure, thank you guys for being
so funny, the best, the best.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Yeah, let's call it the end the episode
Call It what It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille Luddington,
an iHeartRadio podcast.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Hello, Hello, Hello.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Hello, Call It Crew, and welcome to another episode of
Short and Sweet, Sweet.
Speaker 2 (00:26):
Sweet and dives straight into Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
You all are the gift that keeps on giving. This
one's all about you. I dedicate this episode to you.
Speaker 3 (00:33):
And by you, she means they call it cruse the
Call It crew. Because this episode is titled what Jessica,
Just do It. I'm gonna say it.
Speaker 1 (00:44):
You need to know about this episode is that there's
not one of these submissions that isn't anonymous.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
I know, I know, and that's amazing.
Speaker 1 (00:54):
And that's why you're and this episode is about keeping
my dirty little secrets.
Speaker 3 (01:01):
I'll keep you my dirty little secret. Okay, they're all anonymous, yep.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Because and it's that time of the year where you
can just you know, unburden yourself. You can just you know,
unload the secrets or confessions. And we asked you to
and you did not disappoint. I think the best way
to do this is just to jump right in. There's
no buffer needed.
Speaker 3 (01:23):
We're just going no.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
I'm starting off with the first one. Are you ready. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
In college, I found out my boyfriend was cheating, so
I collected a box of valuable things from his house,
an xbox, his huge glass, long gold necklace, and video games,
and I took them to Goodwill and dumped him after.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
He still has no idea to this day.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
I think that might be illegal.
Speaker 2 (01:42):
It's also called karma. Okay, that's what I have to
say about the next one.
Speaker 3 (01:48):
My senior year of college, I was so hungover from
a night out early the next morning I could make
it to the bathroom to vomit. So I threw up
in a huge planter in our dorm and it's stunk
for days and I've never told a soul. I still
think about it and I want to die. That's so gross.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Yeah, it's really gross.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Oh and though honestly better in there than other places.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
Yeah on, like carpet where you really couldn't.
Speaker 3 (02:19):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
No, it's just gross. But there's remorse, and that's.
Speaker 3 (02:23):
Why we're here. Hold on, We forget.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
A small part of you that was making good decisions.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
Oh my god. The next one, Oh what you know what?
Speaker 2 (02:36):
This happens more than I think we think.
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Oh yeah, go read it so that they understand.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Okay, all right, I slept with my fifty year old
female teacher and I was nineteen at the time.
Speaker 3 (02:49):
That's a problem.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Who Yeah, but it's not illegal.
Speaker 3 (02:54):
It's not illegal.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
But so it's not like a crime. It's just a crime.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
It's just mess and position of power. I mean we could,
we could deep down.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Yeah yeah, yeah, no judgment. But wow, that's the secret.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
You're going to keep that one secret.
Speaker 3 (03:10):
Yeah. I killed my sister's fish while taking care of
them when she was on a trip. I overfed them
and then lied about it when she came home. I
this is interesting to me because I heard the rumor
that like fish will just eat eat, and then there's
the myth or maybe fact is that their stomachs explode.
(03:31):
Oh they can't stop eating. However, my kids, I, you know,
it's like we'll feed the fish, and Lucas like I
want to feed the fish. It's like, okay, just a
little pinch and it's like, you know, a fistful goes in.
My fish are fine. So like I'm confused, like what
do you what did you give them a stake? Like
I want to know if that's true.
Speaker 2 (03:51):
Hmm.
Speaker 3 (03:51):
Anyway, they're dead and nobody knows about it. They're gone.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:56):
I call out sick to work every so often and
don't tell my husband. So I gonna have dated myself
at the house.
Speaker 3 (04:04):
That's great, that's a good one. Good for you. That shouldn't.
That doesn't even need to be anonymous. You should be
proud of that. I would have put my name on that, Okay, couldn't.
I'm in year what? Yes, I'm in year thirteen and
I hooked up with my biology teacher on a night
(04:25):
out recently.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
What is year thirteen? It's not like you're like a
year past being a senior.
Speaker 3 (04:31):
I think you're still in high school. I think this
is England is year thirteen? I got a check on this.
Hang on, now, I'm gonna do a.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
I wonder where they ran into their biology teacher on
a night out.
Speaker 3 (04:41):
That's what I was thinking. Huh And does an arrest
need to be made? Questions?
Speaker 2 (04:47):
So I don't know, Okay, okay.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
I lied to my best friend once about something major
and it ended with her trying to fight a person
that had nothing to do with it.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
That would be hor had to stand by. I would
feel deep, deep, deep guilt about that one. Sorry, well,
see you're anonymous. So oh yeah, tricky tricky to My
mom's best friend had a three year affair with my uncle.
It continued even when my aunt got pregnant. I caught
(05:20):
them once, but haven't said anything.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
Okay, you know what.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I know that these are supposed to be salacious and
I I'm on board with it being, you know, naughty,
but this.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
Is really this isn't making me sad.
Speaker 3 (05:32):
Moment I do.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
That was not good.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Okay, although I have to say, I do have to
say it.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
Never behooves you to be the one that tells anyone, right,
it's the message killed the messenger.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
It's not like you're going to do anything good.
Speaker 3 (05:47):
I'm gonna tell you what. That's true.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I know that's true because they.
Speaker 3 (05:52):
Happens, they stay together, but they never want to see
you again because you were the one that said it.
Maybe it's an anonymous letter.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Of like I've thought about that.
Speaker 3 (06:01):
Sally's having a little.
Speaker 2 (06:03):
Yeah, I wanted to uncle Bob. Yeah, yeah, I wanted
to do that.
Speaker 3 (06:07):
Yeah, I think it's an I think it's anonymous letter time.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Yep, yep, okay, uh, this is you Okay.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
A close friend of mine befriended this wretched girl, and
they threw a huge New Year's Eve party at a
hotel and I wasn't invited. So I called the police
and tattled on them, and the party ended and they
had to pay a fine. I'm weirdly okay with that one.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
We support that absolve you of this crime.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Now we support that one.
Speaker 3 (06:33):
Okay. The son of our CEO was forced on me
to be an intern on my team. I came back
from a meeting to him watching porn at his cubicle.
I was so shocked. I just never said a word
because it was so awkward. Ooh, I would have said
a word about that, and.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
You would have hell, yeah, But it would have had
to be an anonymous letter. You're not marching into your
CEO and saying, hey, your nephew Bob.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
You know't call it HR. You would have said, yeah,
I would have checked on Bob. Bob's been, Bob's at
the cubicle. Cubicle four, check on him right now, right now,
look at that search history. Okay.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
I'm a nurse and while working on the I'm a
nurse and while working in the ICU, I had gas and.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Did you know that I was gonna have to be
this one because.
Speaker 1 (07:34):
It's my kryptonite and I can't talk about it without laughing.
Speaker 3 (07:37):
On ut. This one was meant for you.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Thank Yeah, just do it, okay.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
I'm a nurse and while working in the ICU, I
had gas and blamed my farts on the intubated pation.
Speaker 3 (07:51):
That is funny and terrible all the same time.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Also, there's something so radically with like someone laying there
intimated but the farts just going out.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Yet, Oh my god, talking.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
About someone who is intimating, because I want to know
if they're okay now okay.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
Oh my god, yes, imagine if they die, You've like
spread around about them not laughing, my god to call
it crew are just they're in fine form today? Oh lord.
(08:41):
I slept with my boss, befriended his wife, and tutored
his daughter. Not my finest moment. I love the how
it's considered just a moment.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
Yeah, it's a serious of moments.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
Yeah, Anonymous, I can say this pretty.
Speaker 3 (08:58):
I'm not changing, however, does No, I'm not judging.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
I'm calling it what it is.
Speaker 3 (09:02):
What is it? A little hand? The marks of cradle?
Speaker 2 (09:04):
It's not good.
Speaker 3 (09:05):
Do you don't it's not great. It's not a great.
Speaker 2 (09:07):
Look. No, it's not.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
She I don't know if I why, I don't know why.
I think it's whatever. I know this is not your
finest moment. Glad you noticed.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
No, no, I mean you're not putting that on your resume,
are you? No? No?
Speaker 2 (09:20):
No, no, Okay.
Speaker 1 (09:22):
In COVID, when we all had to work from home,
I was one of those people who made a fake
background photo of my home office and took my meetings
even though I wasn't in the country. We had a
strict must be home policy. And I said that I
never got caught.
Speaker 3 (09:34):
That's so smart.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Yeah, naughty. She's like, oh my god, that beaches of
Costa Rica.
Speaker 3 (09:39):
Yeah, I think that's amazing. I love it. Okay, this
is fine. I'm okay with this next one. Actually, I
licked all the powdered sugar off a box of donuts
and put them back in the box and watched my
brothers eat them all. Fine with it, support it, Okay,
that's what you get for beingdon brother. It is gross, though,
(10:02):
it's gross.
Speaker 1 (10:03):
Do you remember a long time ago, wasn't there something
around Ariana Grande licking donuts?
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Right? She got in trouble for that. It was on camera.
Speaker 3 (10:13):
She but she went into a.
Speaker 2 (10:14):
Dunkin Donuts or something and she licked some donuts. She
was she was anonymous.
Speaker 3 (10:19):
Then you know what, she's not doing that on the
Wicked Tour.
Speaker 2 (10:22):
No, she is not doing that.
Speaker 1 (10:25):
No, oh man, No, she's really funny. By the way,
on SNL she's been like hosting and she's really funny.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
And she doesn't your favorite. She does Jennifer Coolidge. She
has an impression.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
Person's great impression. It's amazed.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (10:37):
No, she's very funny.
Speaker 1 (10:40):
Okay, this was years ago, but it's still a secret
between my friends and I to this day. My mom
and dad got divorced when I was sixteen, and just
a few months after the divorce, my younger sister told
me she had suspicions that my dad was cheating on
his new girlfriend, who had just moved in with him
after one month of dating. Our single family friend mentioned
she saw my dad on a dating app. So, being
the board seventeen year olds, we were my friend and
I put her on art detective hats and made a
(11:01):
fake dating profile. No surprise here, but we found him
with an hour of searching, and he messaged our account
within twenty minutes and asked to go on a date
and for our number. We made sure to ask if
he was in a relationship and he said no, I'm single.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
I need to know more. Where did this go? Do
you tell Daddy Dues that you've been on the app
and you trapped him?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (11:25):
Woow? I mean who is to be trusted? I mean,
I don't know. I can't see my sister and I
doing something like this. I support this one. I mean
I think it's dark humor, but it's humor. This is
why I love the crew, because they're just willing to
(11:47):
tell us even if it's, like, you know what, this
makes me kind of look crazy, and they still, yeah,
they give it. They give us the goods. Okay. When
I first got married to my now husband, happy birthday
card arrived at the house from his ex girlfriend. I
threw it in the trash and never told him. I
am fam with that. I finally except I think it
(12:08):
might be illegal?
Speaker 2 (12:09):
Yeah right, whatever?
Speaker 3 (12:11):
The mail open someone else's mail? Ye, So how does
she know it's from my girlfriend ex girlfriend? Well, there's
a return to address, no returning address. You put your
name and return address on things yeah, that's okay. If
it gets accidentally, you know, a little coffee spilled on it,
and then you throw it away set fire to could
(12:32):
be illegal. Tho, I'll look it up.
Speaker 2 (12:36):
All right.
Speaker 3 (12:37):
You know how if you shop at Nordstrom his rack,
you can accumulate points and discounts. I still use my
ex's number email and whenever I go, I take his
ten to twenty dollars discount based off his purchases and
use them for myself.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Smart smart person.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (12:53):
Okay, So whether that was naughty or nice, it's a
lot of not.
Speaker 3 (12:57):
There's a lot Listen, we're learning to call it crew.
There's a lot of people on Santa's Naughty List this year.
I know it's okay, we've all been, but hopefully this
has unburdened you and and our calling out what it
is has made you hope for a brighter, less criminal future.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
And we're we're happy to be a part of that
process for you. So that's really I got for you, and.
Speaker 3 (13:28):
I with you. It cracks me use with you, it
cracks me up. It's okay, we're all on the naughty List.
We're all gonnah gosh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, And uh
but I think that we keep saying this. I think
we need to hear more. Yeah, I mean it's a gift.
I keep saying this.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
It really is the gift that keeps on giving.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
For New Years, we need people to unburden themselves more.
I think right before this, yes, New Year's resolution.
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Sometimes I get great pleasure in because it and these
were all anonymous. I get great pleasure in imagining. I
have an active imagination people who listen to this podcast,
like on a run or you know, sitting by the
ocean or on their commute to work or whatever, all
of a sudden hearing us read their submission.
Speaker 3 (14:17):
Yeah, being like, yeah, yeah, it's me, it's happening.
Speaker 2 (14:24):
I used to do that.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
I used to actually, I used to call it a
kiss FM in Los Angeles where Ryan Seacrest lives, and
I would I would just hope to be have my
voice on the radio. Really Yeah, you'd have a call
in or you would like, yeah, there'd be contest contest
to win something, or you'd call in with an embarrassing
story or you know that kind of thing. And yeah,
I definitely did that, Leo with me.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Yeah, I love that. Sure, thank you guys for being
so funny, the best, the best.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Yeah, let's call it the end the episode
Hosts And Creators
Jessica Capshaw
Camilla Luddington
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