February 7, 2024 • 23 mins
Hey y'all ..wussup! Today's stories are pretty similar to each other, so something tells me this is a common issue. Why do y'all keep pulling up to these men's houses unannounced?? Tap in!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Can't Fulee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio
and The Black Effect.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Ain't just like that, We're back on the air.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Welcome back to yet another Can't Fully Reckless episode, which
girl justs hilarious and I will be fixing mess with
what I do, what I always doing, what I do best.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Listen.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
So if you haven't seen or haven't heard, yes, I
am the official third co host for Breakfast Club. Clap
it Up, clap it up, great, great Gray. And then
also I was going through the comments and I've seen
and people still trying to put together what happened and
all that shit.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
One is really just you know, just as simple as this.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
I still down business and I got what I wanted,
which was, you know, what I was worth, and that
was just it.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I'm in the comments.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Saying, oh, she has stopped everything, she stopped doing her
I knew something was going on because she stopped. I
brought her podcast and I ain't never fucking stopped fixing people.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Mess.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
One ain't even got nothing to do with the other.
Just ain't got nothing to do with Breakfast Club.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Okay, I got That's why y'all hear about it until
now don't ever say I discontinue something, because that ain't
what I do.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Okay, just because y'all thought I ain't get one thing.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
And even if I didn't get that, I'm still just
hilarious before and after breakfast Club.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
So stop playing with me.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Now, let's get into it. So we got a long story, y'all,
and then we also have a voice. No if we
get to that today, because this story is long, so
we may not even get to it. But whatever I
don't get to today, we'll get to you next Wednesday. Listen,
good evening, Jess. First of all, I want to say
congratulations ah to you on getting Breakfast Club. Beyond proud
of you, girl. Let's get into it. I have been
on and off with my ex boyfriend for about two years.
(01:38):
I go in every time with the same mindset that
things will get better because people do grow every time
we're on good terms.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
But then it always goes downhill. I know what that
feels like.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
I look at him as the love of my life
but also my best friend, oh me through me doo,
so it's hard to just completely cut him out of
my life.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
I understand that.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Now.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
For the past we have been talking a little less
and even haven't been linking up as much. So I
decided to just be okay with that because I still
want us to remain how we are. I mean, but
that's a pad on girl, you know, as far as our.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Little understanding goes.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
He hit me up two nights ago and says he
wants to talk to me, and immediately I got nervous
but excited at the same time because I just didn't
know what he had to say. Just this man tells
me he's been talking to somebody and he likes where
it's going, and he don't think that we should continue
to keep doing this anymore. Oh my god, my heart
(02:35):
shattered the ag It wasn't really much that I could say,
because for one, we're not together, and for two, every
time we try to make it work, it never does,
I understand. And three, he just seemed very solid on
his decision with this. So I say to him, we
can't continue to just be friends. Then I won't say something,
(02:55):
but I'm gon wait till I finish, and he tells
me no because it wouldn't be fair to what he
has going on, and he just knows how.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
He is when I'm around. I took that as okay,
and he still loves me?
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Bitch?
Speaker 2 (03:08):
What no, Mom, I'm sorry, So what do my dumb
ass do? You said it?
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Not me?
Speaker 2 (03:13):
I pulled up to his house and parked across the street.
Oh tough, tough. I was just gonna.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Surprise him and just try to talk to him, because Jess,
I'm just honestly not ready to let him go. That
could have been the dumbest thing I have ever done.
I pulled up there just to see him getting off
the car with the girl. He looked happy as ever.
I can't even lie, so all I did was drive off.
Thank God, it's been only two days. But just knowing
that he's not going to be around as much and
(03:42):
I just won't have him anymore as killing me. And
this is one of the hardest things I've had to
deal with. Seeing the love of your life happy with
someone else when it's supposed to be you sucks. I
don't really have any questions for you, Jess, because this
is literally something I have to get over myself. But
I would love for you to give me some advice. Okay,
(04:02):
well for one that makes me think of something I
was just watching over the weekend. I was watching acrimony,
and that was one of the best tyle of Perry
films that I've seen. Taraji pans And let's just give
a big shot off to her. She killed that goddamn
role man. But something happened similar in there. I mean,
her husband, you know, who became her ex husband by
(04:23):
her own choice, eventually was the love of her life
as well. And then he moved on, got rich and everything,
and then he actually got a new woman and was
engaged and had a baby and had given his new
wife the life that you know, he had promised to
give his ex wife who you know, Taraji pans And
played and she couldn't let him go. And I don't
(04:44):
know if you've ever seen acrimony, but did you see
how that ended? You know, she ended up losing her
mind and then also kind of sort of taking her
own life, you know, being killed or whatever. You know, well,
she she kind of did that herself. You know, she
ended up dead. Is the thing, not saying that you
gonna end up dying if you don't let it go,
but you just never know to what extent things can go.
(05:07):
You pulled up over there, and I'm glad you had
sense enough to drive off. However, things could have went
left and very bad for you. You know, Say she
had a gun. Say you got out the car, went
over there to approach him, and she had a gun
and she shot you.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Say she whipped your ass.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
You know what I'm saying. Say just whatever, you know.
And the guy clearly told you. You said he had a
conversation with you, and he and he told you, like listen,
I don't think this has been going well for us,
you know, And I moved on with somebody, and I'm
actually happy where I'm at. So I just want to
let you know that this can't happen anymore. I actually
will say I respect his honesty. He was honest enough
(05:43):
to tell you because he didn't really owe you that
much because y'all weren't together. And you know, you said
that that's always rule of thumb, honesty, be open and honest.
That communication thing has to always be there, because we
expect these men to be honest with us, and we
know that them or you know a lot of them
are liars. You know, So when a god tells the truth,
(06:04):
you have to respect him with that too, because, like
I said, he didn't owe you that to tell you
that he was already talking to somebody, and he was
happy with them. He was happy the way things were
going for you to come back. That was your cue
to hang up. First of all, Okay, I got you
because you already established the pattern. You already saw it,
you already discovered it. You said, you know, we've been
(06:25):
talking a lot less lately, and we hardly ever link
up anymore, you know what I mean. But I just
took it for what it was because we weren't together,
you know what I mean. So you had to already
know that he was doing something anyway. I mean, we
as women, we get these these feelings, and most of
the time we're not wrong. You know, we're not right
all the time, but a lot of times we are,
especially if you feel it. You know, you knew that
(06:45):
you could already tell by his patterns in the switch ups, right,
And let's just.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Call it what it is.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
You were just somebody that he was talking to real quick,
and you just went a lot further in your feelings
than he did. You know, because you're calling him the
love of your life. I guarantee you he never felt
that way, or he wouldn't be with who he's with.
I really don't have advice. You got it, you know,
move on, I got advice for the future next time.
Don't do this shit. You know, don't do this shit
(07:12):
if a man tells you blatantly, listen, you know, because
you said, we can't be friends again. We can't just
be friends, you know, damn well, it ain't what you want.
You didn't want that. We can't be friends. You know
when I'm around you, you know I don't fuck my friends.
You know, you would still be trying to throw them
net plussy and you already know what's up. And he
said he knows how he is around you, so he
(07:33):
didn't even he didn't even want to even try that
go down that road. That also tells me he has
a sense of loyalty. And the right woman gets it.
You didn't really hold yourself to a high enough standard.
Anywhere you would have been his girlfriend. You would have
been the love of his life. He was ready to
still be a side check at but he told you
that he was happy with somebody else.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
You know what I'm saying, So cherish yourself, value yourself more, you.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
We should never be willing like willing and voluntarily being
a you know, a side check or any or the
second to any woman. You know, don't don't do that,
don't ever do that. But yeah, you gonna have to
get over this. And like you said, it's only been
two days or whatever. You know, you wrote me his
story January twenty fifth year. We're now in uh February,
(08:21):
early February. Check back in with me and let me
know what's going on, because I really love to keep
pouring into you so you can see your worth and
see that it's somebody out there that will do you
like he doing his girl. Now, he looked happier than that.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Girl.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
The best thing you could have did was pull a
fuck off. And I'm happy you don't call him back.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
None of that.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Hold up, hold up, I know the shit getting good.
But listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.
If you love me, you'll listen.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
And moving on. Okay, this one is a voice not
much easier, Thank you shall.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
He chespeaks mommies please Okay, girl, I love you, but
anyways speaks mommy is because girl your girl and got
a little healthy too some of me. So back in
twenty ten, I dated this boy. I was his first girlfriend.
You know, we hit it off, went together for like
two or three years. I broke up with him to
(09:12):
like a lone story short. We recmpled this year. It
was like six months into the relationship. He ended up cheating,
in my eyes, with another female. I caught another female
coming out of his house later on that day. They
went on the dates, and so she had an ex
fiance or fiance or whatever.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
I guess that didn't work out between them two, and
she can't bothering my man.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
But anyways, I don't know what happened, because you know,
it takes two to tango anyways, So I feel like
he's just been going between the two.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
I have went no communication.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
She came to bother your man. Your man seemed like
you wanted to be bothered too.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
And he's trying to keep communication because of my child.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
And I really don't, you know, want the communication between
him and my child, because I feel like he's just
doing it to like continue to you.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Know, have me in a loop with him.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
I have told him numerous of times that I'm sorry
to break y'all bun or whatever. Bun you're trying to
create with her, but you only knew her for six months.
So I mean, you know, it is what it is,
you know, out of sight, out of mind. No, it's
not his biological child. There really is not in her life.
(10:26):
So he really basically stepped up to the plate, you know,
and really trying to be there, but not trying to
be there as well.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
So I kind of put him on to gave him ultimatum, like, listen.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
You treat my child princess treatment no matter what mean
you're going through, you know, or whatever.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
So I'm battling it right now.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
I know I shouldn't take yeah, because before I say something,
finish this girl.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
I know the kids shouldn't be involved, but I feel
like he's being a baby dadda that I never had,
and I don't like it. And I don't want my
child heart to get broke or whatever, you know, because
of what he's doing. And I don't know what type
of female she is, but it's kind of a missy
(11:12):
situation because of let me go back to kitchen her
coming out of his house.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Well, I asked you who she was.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
He said there was a best friend, and you know,
I was like okay, and we talked about it or whatever,
and then we had a conversation a couple of days
later after that, because I you know, cut him off
for a minute, and when we had our conversation, he
was like that it's around Christmas time of last year.
So we had the conversation. You know, he said it
(11:44):
wasn't no but a best friend and all this stuff
like that, that he just wanted to be friends with me,
and I was like, you know what, cool, Okay, Then
little stuff started to get a little dry, you know,
like the communication and stuff. But then and when I
fall back, He'll try to come back in, you know
(12:05):
or whatever. And so she's still in having entanglements with
her experience and then talking wise, because you know, they
have kids involved with their situation too, and it's not
their biological father either, but you know he's been there
with them kids since they were smaller, so of course
(12:28):
he's gonna still be you know, they have entanglements or whatever.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
But you know, sometimes I don't know, it's just a
missed girl at this point.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
Like the days that I go without talking to him
and we don't communicate, it's like I'm seeing it for
what it is. And then when we do communicate, he's
like he's saying that he's in low me, he loved
me and all that stuff and everything's but his actions
are not matching what he's saying. So I'm like, you
(13:00):
know what, I just be loud in words at this point,
like for real, for real, like it's twenty twenty four.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
We gotta grow up. Like you you're older than me.
I'm older. I'm not getting younger. You know, she's what
you want. Go be worried, be happy, and not communed
you to be happy, But don't continue.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
To try to stream me alone or try to have
you know, entertainments with my child, because you know you
will still have a connection with me.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
So am I a role for trying to break that
between him and my child?
Speaker 4 (13:35):
Because I feel like it's just a it's a gimmick.
I really do love him, and I really did see
a picture with us, you know, if you just get
his act together. And I wish I could tell you
the whole entire story, but we ain't got too much time,
you know, so just help me out.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Girl. I knew I threw it all in there and
when everywhere with the story, but yeah, it's a miss.
I need advice.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and
then we'll be right back. Well, first of all, I
want to play a little game in it's called where
is this person from? And I've been judging from the US,
And she said communication, and I would say Memphis.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
I would really see him. I think she's from Memphis.
She sounded like money bag yo, and Gloriala's.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
I swear you do, girl, But that ain't that ain't
no shot to you because that's Baltimore people.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
We got a accent to and y'all, y'all ain't know that.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
You also wrote me something you said, hey girl, Hey,
I will be waiting to hear back, but to get
deeper than the voice message. So old dude and me
been you know, together since twenty ten, but we took
a huge break because I wasn't ready.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
We was young, young dating poppy love. But anyway, we
have rekindled and started back dating. Goddamn.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
The first time we linked up, of course, we really
did it. Oh yeah, for the first time, and after
I felt like, damn, why do we do this? Like
now this this relationship ain't gonna work. Oh, because y'all
did it. Y'all have sex, Okay, but we both moved
off history. We continue to keep going into the relationship,
and last year on National Boyfriend Day, I posted him
and hours later a girl inboxed me and told me
(15:14):
they've been having sex.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Of course I said something to him, and he told
me the truth and he did put her in her place.
We talked and handled it like a couple should. Now
fast forward. He made a promise and said that's not
gonna happen again. We were moving forward, and then he
wanted this relationship with me. That was the second month
into the relationship. Okay, cool. Then we get around Christmas break.
(15:36):
I'm a school teacher, so I was spending the break
with him. So I text and was like, me and
baby girl coming over to stay the break with you.
He turns into a whole new person and I was like, wait, huh,
what you got going on? But I pretended that everything
was cool. See that's the bullshit I hate that we do.
I mean, I'm sorry to cut you off, Like, come
on with all this pretend shit. You said, we've grown,
(15:56):
you got a baby. You know this is not her
biological dad and all that shit, but stop stop doing that.
Let's stop pretending like shit is cool, because that's how
we indirectly let shit fall off our backs. We sweeping
shit under the rug, and shit we pretending and shit,
and we letting these niggas play with us.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
We're tolerating and stop pretending shit is cool.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Nipping in the bud right there, continuing, I had in
my mind the next day to pull up and see
what type of time he was on.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
And then I say, old girl, come out of his house.
I didn't flip out, but boy, I wanted to.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
I'm glad, y'all are actually like not flipping out ending
up in jail behind these bitches and niggas.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
I'm so glad.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Then found out he took her on a date the
same day. Okay, so then I had to do some
FBI digging to find out who her man is and
if she was single, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Then let's pause again. Why are we doing all that?
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Do it really fucking matter if she running around with
with somebody that's supposed to be your man?
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Why are we doing research on her?
Speaker 3 (16:54):
Why?
Speaker 1 (16:56):
What you should have been doing was trying to see
if she could fucking fight and all of that, and
do she carry guns? And then she registered to fucking
shoot and all that shit. To protect yourself if you
want to go pop up?
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Why are we arned about how? Oh the fuck she
in a relationship with?
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Continuing comes to find out she was engaged to her
ex boyfriend of five years.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
So I was about to reach out to him, but
I stopped. Thank god you did the fuck mind your business.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
But to make a long story short, me and my
old dude had a conversation about everything, even her. He
kept saying she's the best friend, etc. But I know
he are you typing me the same shit you sent me?
But I know he'd been with her and stuff. But
last conversation we had, he said he did love me
and was in love with me. He just didn't want
to get hurt again. He won't get hurt again. But
(17:41):
I'm guessing off of the twenty ten relationship he think
I'll do the same thing again, Oh.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Because you cheated and shit.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
But I will post more recent conversation and you just
give me advice on all this mess girl, Please, I
just want to make sure my mind and your advice
line up with each other.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Once again. Thank you so much. Okay, So she sent
me a message.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
So she sent me a message that she said, I
don't need to read that to y'all because that's getting
a little bit too on her business.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
All right, child, this is the thing.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
I'm glad that you did let me know that he
is not your baby's biological father, because for a minute
I was about to chew your head off. You do
not ever break a bond with a child and her
dad or his dad because you still got feelings and
he won't be a good man to you.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
No, no, no, that is not what you do.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
But he's been the only dad that's your baby girl knows,
and like you said, you've only been in her life
for six months. If you don't plan or ever dealing
with this man ever again, then that's when you break it.
Because yeah, you're right, you know you haven't been there.
But I do understand what it's like to be attached
to a child that is not yours. And if that
child's father is not in her life already and she
(18:49):
already built a bond with this man, yeah, it can
be out of sight, out of mind for you, but
you can't decide that for your child. I don't know
how old your baby is, but I know that you
said that he's been in her life months okay, and
then I'm confused on your voice notes versus what you
typed me.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
So did you just type what you said to me?
It did seem like a lot of it was repetitive.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
However, it was a lot of things that you left
out in the voice note that I did get while reading.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
As women, Girl, we can be private investigators.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
We can turn into detectives for these men, yes, because
they play games and sometimes we just feel like we
got to get to the bottom of what the fuck
is going on. But girl, when you go and do
more research on the girl that he's cheating on you with,
like trying to figure out if she's cheating on somebody
with your man and who she's with, and like you
know too much about her, that's obsession. That's too goddamn upsession.
(19:39):
You too goddamn worried about her. Okay, either he gonna
fuck with her or he ain't. And it seems like
you let this nigga spin you around so many fucking
times you dizzy, and I don't like that.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
You don't need it. You got a baby girl, Okay.
You should have taken the hint when you text.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
Him and said me and baby girl gonna come and
spend his break with you around Christmas, and he turned
this to a whole new person, saying, all right, so them, motherfucker,
you turn this to a whole new person too, because
who it is who is now? I'm not doing especially
not with my baby. You gotta keep it pushing, and
you have to be an example for your daughter. Okay,
I know we want love, but don't want it so
bad that we get spun around so many times that
(20:15):
we're dizzy.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Let's normalize not being dizzy for niggas. All right, we
ain't doing it. He playing you.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
He's playing with you, and he gonna keep playing with
you because all he gotta do is have a conversation
with you.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
That's what I get out of these stories.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
All he gotta do is sit down and tell you
they ain't gonna do it no more, and blah blah
blah blah blah and blah blah blah blah blah, and
you still you up at night. I'm talking about investigating
these bitches. Let's cut that out because that's not what
you're supposed to be doing.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
All right.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Like I said, I know we all want to be loved,
and I'm being hard on y'all because this is not this.
Ain't it y'all ain't hard enough on y'allselves. That's why
these men fucking get in y'all head and play with
y'all like that.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Ain't no way. You don't pull up.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
You got a baby, you don't pull up on no
nigga that may be with a bitch, you don't ever
do that because you got to.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Get home to your baby.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
The fuck. If he don't care about it that much,
you gotta care about her. You're a mother, So move
on from that shit and keep me updated.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Girl.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Listen, we've come to the end of yet another carefully
Reckless episode, which your girl just hilarious. I will be
fixing mess then now and whenever y'all need me to
do it, feel free to send in voice notes. And
I also will be fixing mess periodically from time to
time on Breakfast Club as well. Make sure you tune
in every morning Monday through Friday. You can catch Breakfast
(21:33):
Club on YouTube and also on the iHeart Radio app,
and you can catch this podcast anywhere you can get
a podcast at and then. My deepest pan voice can't
(22:53):
Fully Reckless is a production of iHeart Radio and the
black effect. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visits iHeartRadio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows,
Welcome to Can't Fulee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio
and The Black Effect.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
Ain't just like that, We're back on the air.
Speaker 1 (00:17):
Welcome back to yet another Can't Fully Reckless episode, which
girl justs hilarious and I will be fixing mess with
what I do, what I always doing, what I do best.
Speaker 2 (00:25):
Listen.
Speaker 1 (00:26):
So if you haven't seen or haven't heard, yes, I
am the official third co host for Breakfast Club. Clap
it Up, clap it up, great, great Gray. And then
also I was going through the comments and I've seen
and people still trying to put together what happened and
all that shit.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
One is really just you know, just as simple as this.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
I still down business and I got what I wanted,
which was, you know, what I was worth, and that
was just it.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
I'm in the comments.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
Saying, oh, she has stopped everything, she stopped doing her
I knew something was going on because she stopped. I
brought her podcast and I ain't never fucking stopped fixing people.
Speaker 3 (00:59):
Mess.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
One ain't even got nothing to do with the other.
Just ain't got nothing to do with Breakfast Club.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Okay, I got That's why y'all hear about it until
now don't ever say I discontinue something, because that ain't
what I do.
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Okay, just because y'all thought I ain't get one thing.
Speaker 1 (01:11):
And even if I didn't get that, I'm still just
hilarious before and after breakfast Club.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
So stop playing with me.
Speaker 1 (01:16):
Now, let's get into it. So we got a long story, y'all,
and then we also have a voice. No if we
get to that today, because this story is long, so
we may not even get to it. But whatever I
don't get to today, we'll get to you next Wednesday. Listen,
good evening, Jess. First of all, I want to say
congratulations ah to you on getting Breakfast Club. Beyond proud
of you, girl. Let's get into it. I have been
on and off with my ex boyfriend for about two years.
(01:38):
I go in every time with the same mindset that
things will get better because people do grow every time
we're on good terms.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
But then it always goes downhill. I know what that
feels like.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
I look at him as the love of my life
but also my best friend, oh me through me doo,
so it's hard to just completely cut him out of
my life.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
I understand that.
Speaker 3 (01:59):
Now.
Speaker 1 (01:59):
For the past we have been talking a little less
and even haven't been linking up as much. So I
decided to just be okay with that because I still
want us to remain how we are. I mean, but
that's a pad on girl, you know, as far as our.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
Little understanding goes.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
He hit me up two nights ago and says he
wants to talk to me, and immediately I got nervous
but excited at the same time because I just didn't
know what he had to say. Just this man tells
me he's been talking to somebody and he likes where
it's going, and he don't think that we should continue
to keep doing this anymore. Oh my god, my heart
(02:35):
shattered the ag It wasn't really much that I could say,
because for one, we're not together, and for two, every
time we try to make it work, it never does,
I understand. And three, he just seemed very solid on
his decision with this. So I say to him, we
can't continue to just be friends. Then I won't say something,
(02:55):
but I'm gon wait till I finish, and he tells
me no because it wouldn't be fair to what he
has going on, and he just knows how.
Speaker 2 (03:03):
He is when I'm around. I took that as okay,
and he still loves me?
Speaker 3 (03:08):
Bitch?
Speaker 2 (03:08):
What no, Mom, I'm sorry, So what do my dumb
ass do? You said it?
Speaker 3 (03:12):
Not me?
Speaker 2 (03:13):
I pulled up to his house and parked across the street.
Oh tough, tough. I was just gonna.
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Surprise him and just try to talk to him, because Jess,
I'm just honestly not ready to let him go. That
could have been the dumbest thing I have ever done.
I pulled up there just to see him getting off
the car with the girl. He looked happy as ever.
I can't even lie, so all I did was drive off.
Thank God, it's been only two days. But just knowing
that he's not going to be around as much and
(03:42):
I just won't have him anymore as killing me. And
this is one of the hardest things I've had to
deal with. Seeing the love of your life happy with
someone else when it's supposed to be you sucks. I
don't really have any questions for you, Jess, because this
is literally something I have to get over myself. But
I would love for you to give me some advice. Okay,
(04:02):
well for one that makes me think of something I
was just watching over the weekend. I was watching acrimony,
and that was one of the best tyle of Perry
films that I've seen. Taraji pans And let's just give
a big shot off to her. She killed that goddamn
role man. But something happened similar in there. I mean,
her husband, you know, who became her ex husband by
(04:23):
her own choice, eventually was the love of her life
as well. And then he moved on, got rich and everything,
and then he actually got a new woman and was
engaged and had a baby and had given his new
wife the life that you know, he had promised to
give his ex wife who you know, Taraji pans And
played and she couldn't let him go. And I don't
(04:44):
know if you've ever seen acrimony, but did you see
how that ended? You know, she ended up losing her
mind and then also kind of sort of taking her
own life, you know, being killed or whatever. You know, well,
she she kind of did that herself. You know, she
ended up dead. Is the thing, not saying that you
gonna end up dying if you don't let it go,
but you just never know to what extent things can go.
(05:07):
You pulled up over there, and I'm glad you had
sense enough to drive off. However, things could have went
left and very bad for you. You know, Say she
had a gun. Say you got out the car, went
over there to approach him, and she had a gun
and she shot you.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
Say she whipped your ass.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
You know what I'm saying. Say just whatever, you know.
And the guy clearly told you. You said he had a
conversation with you, and he and he told you, like listen,
I don't think this has been going well for us,
you know, And I moved on with somebody, and I'm
actually happy where I'm at. So I just want to
let you know that this can't happen anymore. I actually
will say I respect his honesty. He was honest enough
(05:43):
to tell you because he didn't really owe you that
much because y'all weren't together. And you know, you said
that that's always rule of thumb, honesty, be open and honest.
That communication thing has to always be there, because we
expect these men to be honest with us, and we
know that them or you know a lot of them
are liars. You know, So when a god tells the truth,
(06:04):
you have to respect him with that too, because, like
I said, he didn't owe you that to tell you
that he was already talking to somebody, and he was
happy with them. He was happy the way things were
going for you to come back. That was your cue
to hang up. First of all, Okay, I got you
because you already established the pattern. You already saw it,
you already discovered it. You said, you know, we've been
(06:25):
talking a lot less lately, and we hardly ever link
up anymore, you know what I mean. But I just
took it for what it was because we weren't together,
you know what I mean. So you had to already
know that he was doing something anyway. I mean, we
as women, we get these these feelings, and most of
the time we're not wrong. You know, we're not right
all the time, but a lot of times we are,
especially if you feel it. You know, you knew that
(06:45):
you could already tell by his patterns in the switch ups, right,
And let's just.
Speaker 2 (06:49):
Call it what it is.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
You were just somebody that he was talking to real quick,
and you just went a lot further in your feelings
than he did. You know, because you're calling him the
love of your life. I guarantee you he never felt
that way, or he wouldn't be with who he's with.
I really don't have advice. You got it, you know,
move on, I got advice for the future next time.
Don't do this shit. You know, don't do this shit
(07:12):
if a man tells you blatantly, listen, you know, because
you said, we can't be friends again. We can't just
be friends, you know, damn well, it ain't what you want.
You didn't want that. We can't be friends. You know
when I'm around you, you know I don't fuck my friends.
You know, you would still be trying to throw them
net plussy and you already know what's up. And he
said he knows how he is around you, so he
(07:33):
didn't even he didn't even want to even try that
go down that road. That also tells me he has
a sense of loyalty. And the right woman gets it.
You didn't really hold yourself to a high enough standard.
Anywhere you would have been his girlfriend. You would have
been the love of his life. He was ready to
still be a side check at but he told you
that he was happy with somebody else.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
You know what I'm saying, So cherish yourself, value yourself more, you.
Speaker 4 (07:59):
Know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
We should never be willing like willing and voluntarily being
a you know, a side check or any or the
second to any woman. You know, don't don't do that,
don't ever do that. But yeah, you gonna have to
get over this. And like you said, it's only been
two days or whatever. You know, you wrote me his
story January twenty fifth year. We're now in uh February,
(08:21):
early February. Check back in with me and let me
know what's going on, because I really love to keep
pouring into you so you can see your worth and
see that it's somebody out there that will do you
like he doing his girl. Now, he looked happier than that.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Girl.
Speaker 1 (08:35):
The best thing you could have did was pull a
fuck off. And I'm happy you don't call him back.
Speaker 2 (08:39):
None of that.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
Hold up, hold up, I know the shit getting good.
But listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.
If you love me, you'll listen.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
And moving on. Okay, this one is a voice not
much easier, Thank you shall.
Speaker 4 (08:51):
He chespeaks mommies please Okay, girl, I love you, but
anyways speaks mommy is because girl your girl and got
a little healthy too some of me. So back in
twenty ten, I dated this boy. I was his first girlfriend.
You know, we hit it off, went together for like
two or three years. I broke up with him to
(09:12):
like a lone story short. We recmpled this year. It
was like six months into the relationship. He ended up cheating,
in my eyes, with another female. I caught another female
coming out of his house later on that day. They
went on the dates, and so she had an ex
fiance or fiance or whatever.
Speaker 3 (09:30):
I guess that didn't work out between them two, and
she can't bothering my man.
Speaker 4 (09:34):
But anyways, I don't know what happened, because you know,
it takes two to tango anyways, So I feel like
he's just been going between the two.
Speaker 3 (09:44):
I have went no communication.
Speaker 2 (09:47):
She came to bother your man. Your man seemed like
you wanted to be bothered too.
Speaker 3 (09:51):
And he's trying to keep communication because of my child.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
And I really don't, you know, want the communication between
him and my child, because I feel like he's just
doing it to like continue to you.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Know, have me in a loop with him.
Speaker 4 (10:05):
I have told him numerous of times that I'm sorry
to break y'all bun or whatever. Bun you're trying to
create with her, but you only knew her for six months.
So I mean, you know, it is what it is,
you know, out of sight, out of mind. No, it's
not his biological child. There really is not in her life.
(10:26):
So he really basically stepped up to the plate, you know,
and really trying to be there, but not trying to
be there as well.
Speaker 3 (10:34):
So I kind of put him on to gave him ultimatum, like, listen.
Speaker 4 (10:37):
You treat my child princess treatment no matter what mean
you're going through, you know, or whatever.
Speaker 3 (10:43):
So I'm battling it right now.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
I know I shouldn't take yeah, because before I say something,
finish this girl.
Speaker 4 (10:51):
I know the kids shouldn't be involved, but I feel
like he's being a baby dadda that I never had,
and I don't like it. And I don't want my
child heart to get broke or whatever, you know, because
of what he's doing. And I don't know what type
of female she is, but it's kind of a missy
(11:12):
situation because of let me go back to kitchen her
coming out of his house.
Speaker 3 (11:18):
Well, I asked you who she was.
Speaker 4 (11:20):
He said there was a best friend, and you know,
I was like okay, and we talked about it or whatever,
and then we had a conversation a couple of days
later after that, because I you know, cut him off
for a minute, and when we had our conversation, he
was like that it's around Christmas time of last year.
So we had the conversation. You know, he said it
(11:44):
wasn't no but a best friend and all this stuff
like that, that he just wanted to be friends with me,
and I was like, you know what, cool, Okay, Then
little stuff started to get a little dry, you know,
like the communication and stuff. But then and when I
fall back, He'll try to come back in, you know
(12:05):
or whatever. And so she's still in having entanglements with
her experience and then talking wise, because you know, they
have kids involved with their situation too, and it's not
their biological father either, but you know he's been there
with them kids since they were smaller, so of course
(12:28):
he's gonna still be you know, they have entanglements or whatever.
Speaker 3 (12:31):
But you know, sometimes I don't know, it's just a
missed girl at this point.
Speaker 4 (12:38):
Like the days that I go without talking to him
and we don't communicate, it's like I'm seeing it for
what it is. And then when we do communicate, he's
like he's saying that he's in low me, he loved
me and all that stuff and everything's but his actions
are not matching what he's saying. So I'm like, you
(13:00):
know what, I just be loud in words at this point,
like for real, for real, like it's twenty twenty four.
Speaker 3 (13:07):
We gotta grow up. Like you you're older than me.
I'm older. I'm not getting younger. You know, she's what
you want. Go be worried, be happy, and not communed
you to be happy, But don't continue.
Speaker 4 (13:20):
To try to stream me alone or try to have
you know, entertainments with my child, because you know you
will still have a connection with me.
Speaker 3 (13:30):
So am I a role for trying to break that
between him and my child?
Speaker 4 (13:35):
Because I feel like it's just a it's a gimmick.
I really do love him, and I really did see
a picture with us, you know, if you just get
his act together. And I wish I could tell you
the whole entire story, but we ain't got too much time,
you know, so just help me out.
Speaker 3 (13:50):
Girl. I knew I threw it all in there and
when everywhere with the story, but yeah, it's a miss.
I need advice.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and
then we'll be right back. Well, first of all, I
want to play a little game in it's called where
is this person from? And I've been judging from the US,
And she said communication, and I would say Memphis.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
I would really see him. I think she's from Memphis.
She sounded like money bag yo, and Gloriala's.
Speaker 1 (14:24):
I swear you do, girl, But that ain't that ain't
no shot to you because that's Baltimore people.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
We got a accent to and y'all, y'all ain't know that.
Speaker 1 (14:33):
You also wrote me something you said, hey girl, Hey,
I will be waiting to hear back, but to get
deeper than the voice message. So old dude and me
been you know, together since twenty ten, but we took
a huge break because I wasn't ready.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
We was young, young dating poppy love. But anyway, we
have rekindled and started back dating. Goddamn.
Speaker 1 (14:51):
The first time we linked up, of course, we really
did it. Oh yeah, for the first time, and after
I felt like, damn, why do we do this? Like
now this this relationship ain't gonna work. Oh, because y'all
did it. Y'all have sex, Okay, but we both moved
off history. We continue to keep going into the relationship,
and last year on National Boyfriend Day, I posted him
and hours later a girl inboxed me and told me
(15:14):
they've been having sex.
Speaker 2 (15:15):
Oh my god.
Speaker 1 (15:16):
Of course I said something to him, and he told
me the truth and he did put her in her place.
We talked and handled it like a couple should. Now
fast forward. He made a promise and said that's not
gonna happen again. We were moving forward, and then he
wanted this relationship with me. That was the second month
into the relationship. Okay, cool. Then we get around Christmas break.
(15:36):
I'm a school teacher, so I was spending the break
with him. So I text and was like, me and
baby girl coming over to stay the break with you.
He turns into a whole new person and I was like, wait, huh,
what you got going on? But I pretended that everything
was cool. See that's the bullshit I hate that we do.
I mean, I'm sorry to cut you off, Like, come
on with all this pretend shit. You said, we've grown,
(15:56):
you got a baby. You know this is not her
biological dad and all that shit, but stop stop doing that.
Let's stop pretending like shit is cool, because that's how
we indirectly let shit fall off our backs. We sweeping
shit under the rug, and shit we pretending and shit,
and we letting these niggas play with us.
Speaker 2 (16:15):
We're tolerating and stop pretending shit is cool.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
Nipping in the bud right there, continuing, I had in
my mind the next day to pull up and see
what type of time he was on.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
And then I say, old girl, come out of his house.
I didn't flip out, but boy, I wanted to.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
I'm glad, y'all are actually like not flipping out ending
up in jail behind these bitches and niggas.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
I'm so glad.
Speaker 1 (16:35):
Then found out he took her on a date the
same day. Okay, so then I had to do some
FBI digging to find out who her man is and
if she was single, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 2 (16:46):
Then let's pause again. Why are we doing all that?
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Do it really fucking matter if she running around with
with somebody that's supposed to be your man?
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Why are we doing research on her?
Speaker 3 (16:54):
Why?
Speaker 1 (16:56):
What you should have been doing was trying to see
if she could fucking fight and all of that, and
do she carry guns? And then she registered to fucking
shoot and all that shit. To protect yourself if you
want to go pop up?
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Why are we arned about how? Oh the fuck she
in a relationship with?
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Continuing comes to find out she was engaged to her
ex boyfriend of five years.
Speaker 2 (17:14):
So I was about to reach out to him, but
I stopped. Thank god you did the fuck mind your business.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
But to make a long story short, me and my
old dude had a conversation about everything, even her. He
kept saying she's the best friend, etc. But I know
he are you typing me the same shit you sent me?
But I know he'd been with her and stuff. But
last conversation we had, he said he did love me
and was in love with me. He just didn't want
to get hurt again. He won't get hurt again. But
(17:41):
I'm guessing off of the twenty ten relationship he think
I'll do the same thing again, Oh.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
Because you cheated and shit.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
But I will post more recent conversation and you just
give me advice on all this mess girl, Please, I
just want to make sure my mind and your advice
line up with each other.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
Once again. Thank you so much. Okay, So she sent
me a message.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
So she sent me a message that she said, I
don't need to read that to y'all because that's getting
a little bit too on her business.
Speaker 2 (18:07):
All right, child, this is the thing.
Speaker 1 (18:11):
I'm glad that you did let me know that he
is not your baby's biological father, because for a minute
I was about to chew your head off. You do
not ever break a bond with a child and her
dad or his dad because you still got feelings and
he won't be a good man to you.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
No, no, no, that is not what you do.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
But he's been the only dad that's your baby girl knows,
and like you said, you've only been in her life
for six months. If you don't plan or ever dealing
with this man ever again, then that's when you break it.
Because yeah, you're right, you know you haven't been there.
But I do understand what it's like to be attached
to a child that is not yours. And if that
child's father is not in her life already and she
(18:49):
already built a bond with this man, yeah, it can
be out of sight, out of mind for you, but
you can't decide that for your child. I don't know
how old your baby is, but I know that you
said that he's been in her life months okay, and
then I'm confused on your voice notes versus what you
typed me.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
So did you just type what you said to me?
It did seem like a lot of it was repetitive.
Speaker 1 (19:09):
However, it was a lot of things that you left
out in the voice note that I did get while reading.
Speaker 2 (19:16):
As women, Girl, we can be private investigators.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
We can turn into detectives for these men, yes, because
they play games and sometimes we just feel like we
got to get to the bottom of what the fuck
is going on. But girl, when you go and do
more research on the girl that he's cheating on you with,
like trying to figure out if she's cheating on somebody
with your man and who she's with, and like you
know too much about her, that's obsession. That's too goddamn upsession.
(19:39):
You too goddamn worried about her. Okay, either he gonna
fuck with her or he ain't. And it seems like
you let this nigga spin you around so many fucking
times you dizzy, and I don't like that.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
You don't need it. You got a baby girl, Okay.
You should have taken the hint when you text.
Speaker 1 (19:55):
Him and said me and baby girl gonna come and
spend his break with you around Christmas, and he turned
this to a whole new person, saying, all right, so them, motherfucker,
you turn this to a whole new person too, because
who it is who is now? I'm not doing especially
not with my baby. You gotta keep it pushing, and
you have to be an example for your daughter. Okay,
I know we want love, but don't want it so
bad that we get spun around so many times that
(20:15):
we're dizzy.
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Let's normalize not being dizzy for niggas. All right, we
ain't doing it. He playing you.
Speaker 1 (20:22):
He's playing with you, and he gonna keep playing with
you because all he gotta do is have a conversation
with you.
Speaker 2 (20:26):
That's what I get out of these stories.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
All he gotta do is sit down and tell you
they ain't gonna do it no more, and blah blah
blah blah blah and blah blah blah blah blah, and
you still you up at night. I'm talking about investigating
these bitches. Let's cut that out because that's not what
you're supposed to be doing.
Speaker 2 (20:42):
All right.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Like I said, I know we all want to be loved,
and I'm being hard on y'all because this is not this.
Ain't it y'all ain't hard enough on y'allselves. That's why
these men fucking get in y'all head and play with
y'all like that.
Speaker 2 (20:54):
Ain't no way. You don't pull up.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
You got a baby, you don't pull up on no
nigga that may be with a bitch, you don't ever
do that because you got to.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Get home to your baby.
Speaker 1 (21:04):
The fuck. If he don't care about it that much,
you gotta care about her. You're a mother, So move
on from that shit and keep me updated.
Speaker 3 (21:12):
Girl.
Speaker 1 (21:12):
Listen, we've come to the end of yet another carefully
Reckless episode, which your girl just hilarious. I will be
fixing mess then now and whenever y'all need me to
do it, feel free to send in voice notes. And
I also will be fixing mess periodically from time to
time on Breakfast Club as well. Make sure you tune
in every morning Monday through Friday. You can catch Breakfast
(21:33):
Club on YouTube and also on the iHeart Radio app,
and you can catch this podcast anywhere you can get
a podcast at and then. My deepest pan voice can't
(22:53):
Fully Reckless is a production of iHeart Radio and the
black effect. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visits iHeartRadio app,
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