May 13, 2023 • 51 mins
EPISODE 201: COUNTDOWN WITH KEITH OLBERMANN
This is a new, full, 20-minute segment of the news breaking Friday night about CNN's Trump Town Hall. The closing two blocks of this podcast are repeated from Episode 200 from 5.12.23.
A-Block (1:44) SPECIAL COMMENT: CNN's amoral anti-journalistic thug chairman Chris Licht reportedly called the network's only internal on-the-record critic of its telecast of the Trump Nuremberg rally into his office and with at least three other senior executives present, "Put The Fear Of God" into media reporter Oliver Darcy. Additional reporting indicates Licht and CNN manipulated crowd reaction at the "Town Hall" site by telling the audience how it could and could not react. Trump reportedly agreed to do the CNN event because it knew it could manipulate moderator Kaitlan Collins.
The numbers don't lie: CNN primetime ratings drop 8% from pre-Trump levels. And Anderson Cooper's snide "living in a silo" remark is disproved by data: Since 2010 CNN has mentioned Trump supporters twice as much as those of all other presidential nominees and presidents combined. And Anderson is boiled alive by his friend and former CNN colleague Sunny Hostin on "The View": she says he's gaslighting us - and she's right.
And most importantly: The decisions and the deciders who inflicted upon us the Trump Town Hall reflected journalistic malpractice and citizenship betrayal. Anderson Cooper’s maudlin and condescending attack on his own audience, and the silence of Wolf Blitzer and Jake Tapper and Erin Burnett and ALL of CNN’s reporters and commentators are MORAL failings. Ladies and gentlemen of CNN, do you STAND for anything? Does the organization MEAN anything to you? I wasn’t there on Day One but I WAS there at the end of YEAR ONE and I’m damn proud of it, and I grieve what Chris Licht has done by prostituting it. YOU are the ones, Wolf Blitzer, Jake Tapper, Erin Burnett, even Anderson Cooper up there on your high horse, YOU are the ones keeping the original noble idea – news unrestrained by the need to put on ‘The Beverly Hillbillies’ at 8 PM, while making money – YOU are the ones charged by history, and your own ambitions and principals, with PROTECTING the idea of CNN, and in a broader sense, with PROTECTING journalism and in a broader sense STILL, with protecting DEMOCRACY. Are you going to DO it? Are you going to RISK something? Have you really all been working there for decades and NOT yet made enough money for the rest of your lives? Is there ANYONE at CNN willing to place their craft and their responsibility ahead of their paycheck, or… nah, let’s just let the media critic do it, by himself. Shouldn’t you go in there WITH him and say enough? Because guess what? Staying out of the fray and protecting your paycheck may work short term. May work for years. Or then again, it may not. There are a lot of ambitious anchors without any standards out there. Maybe it’d be better if you took a risk now in defense of, you know, the United States of America – even if Chris Licht DID get you fired. I mean which would you rather HAVE on your tombstone? I got fired because I protested when my network’s new paste-easting boss Chris Licht sold us out to Donald Trump? Or I got fired because they wanted to expand Kaitlan Collins Tonight… to FIVE HOURS?
B-Block (24:11) POSTSCRIPTS TO THE NEWS: Biden really does seem poised to spring the 14th Amendment on Republican Debt Ceiling Hostage-Takers; Why is every news report calling the white man who choked another man to death on the NYC subway a "Navy veteran" rather than what they would call a person of color, something like "Crazed Subway Strangler"? THE WORST PERSONS IN THE WORLD: There is ONE political boss still backing George Santos. There is one presidential campaign running on a promise to disenfranchise some of the people who would elect him. There is one CNN on-air person praising Kaitlan Collins' persistent impotence.
C-Block (33:30 EVERY DOG HAS ITS DAY: The brindle mix on the kill list in New York is named, in sad irony, "Free." (34:35) FRIDAYS WITH THURBER: It's his story that best fits the saga of Trump and degeneracy mistaken for power: "The Greatest Man In The World."
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. CNN
chairman Chris Licked strong armed, intimidated, and censored, the network's
(00:27):
only internal critic of its Trump Nuremberg rally, and lickt
manufactured the crowd reaction during the broadcast by having a
stage manager tell the audience it literally could not boo
or show any disrespect. These shocking but somehow not surprising
details revealed Friday night, along with the inevitable reality that
(00:49):
the Trump stunt not only did not provide CNN with
any ratings bump lasting longer than ninety minutes, but it
has actually cost the network viewership, apparently around eight percent
of it so far. First, Chris Licked weasel anti journalistic thug,
putting the quote fear of God into Oliver Darcy. As
(01:13):
I mentioned here on Friday, Darcy, author of the CNN
Reliable Sources newsletter, has been the lone CNN front facing
employee to even acknowledge the super nova of criticism that
has engulfed CNN and Licked and Trump. In newsletter tradition,
that reporting has been austere, calm, dignified, and most importantly balanced.
(01:36):
Early Thursday morning, he printed thirteen separate brief on the
record criticisms of the town hall and the CNN decision
to manufacture it for Trump, But he also printed nearly
as many defenses and compliments, probably all he could find.
His only personal interjection was in the opening sentence quote,
it's hard to see how America was served by the
(01:59):
spectacle of lies that aired on CNN Wednesday Evening. As
I also mentioned Friday. Less than nine hours later, Licked,
a petty, self absorbed, neurotic man with an ego too
vast for measurement by human devices, closed his internal defense
of the disaster on a CNN conference call by focusing
(02:21):
on that very same word Darcy had quote, America was
served very well by what we did last night. Well,
now we know what happened next. Friday Evening, Puck News
blasted out its story of Chris Lickt calling Oliver Darcy
onto his carpet. Quoting Puck's sources, Lickt summoned Darcy and
(02:43):
his editor John Pasentino to a meeting with himself, CNN
Comm's chief Chris Karate, Editorial executive vice president Virginia Moseley,
and senior vice president of Global News Rachel Smulkin, in
which they told Darcy that his coverage had been too
emotional and repeatedly stressed the importance of remaning dispassionate when
(03:07):
covering the news, be it CNN or any other media organization.
The first of two quick asides here, I have had
one on one and group conversations with Chris Lickt, and
his amorality serves his tonality very well. He can be
smarmy or cold blooded, or anything else on that spectrum.
(03:31):
I would expect Puck's sources may have also left out
one other detail here. There was probably also somebody at
that meeting from Human Resources, and this was probably a
potential setup of Darcy and his editor Pasentino, so that
if and when they do something else licked does not like,
(03:51):
or if Lickt wants to make up some allegation against
either man, Lickt can then fire them Back to Puck's reporting,
it says that Darcy did not roll over again, quoting
their coverage. Darcy by his work and pushed back on
the emotional characterization, one source with knowledge of the meeting said,
But afterward, two sources who heard about the meeting described
(04:13):
him as visibly shaken. Quote. They put the fear of
God into him. One source said, unquote. The second quick aside,
Now Lickts fixation on this word emotional in his criticism
of Darcy, that does not mean he actually literally meant
that that was his complaint with Darcy's work. It was
(04:36):
a filler, a code word, something to put in the template.
It was probably chosen because it was a word which
the famously semi literate Lickt actually knows. Chris Lickt wanted
to say, I'm certain of it that Darcy's coverage had
been too anti Chris licked Yet there is an irony
(04:57):
in his choice of that word emotional, and then its
mate dispassionate, dispassionate. Oh yeah, is that what the Trump
audience was at your CNN rally, Chris dispassionate. Before we
resume looking at the censoring of Oliver Darcy, this is
where a second report from Puck News comes into play.
(05:20):
Matthew Bartlett, a Republican political consultant who attended the event, said, quote,
the floor manager came out ahead of time and said,
please do not boo, please be respectful. You were allowed
to applaud unquote. That is a time tested and somewhat
clever way of making sure you will not hear dissent
(05:41):
from the mob mentality, the same thing you witnessed at
every Trump event, And certainly you would not have had
any idea of the silent disgust this same Republican Bartlett
said was prevalent in the crowd. We have to seriously
wonder now if the terms under which Trump agreed to
appear in this monstrosity on CNN, the deal he said
(06:03):
they gave him included those instructions to the audience going
into it. The only possible justification for this journalistic treaty
of Munich was the possibility that one of the crowd
members would turn out to be one of the nearly
extinct species of rational Republicans, or at least a DeSantis guy,
and he or she either would get an actual question
(06:26):
in or would shout or boo from the audience. And
now we know that would never have happened, and Trump
already knew it wouldn't happen on stage from The Guardian's
Hugo loll on Friday quote. Trump team also figured that
CNN worked for its needs because it could have Caitlyn
Collins as the moderator, who has taken care to preserve
(06:49):
her relationship with the ex president and what relationship is
that and which Caitlyn Collins was it with? Was it
more like her pointed stance pushing back against Trump from
her days as a CNN Went correspondent or was it
more like the squealing fascist she still was in the
(07:10):
video clip that's been playing on social media, in which,
as an entertainment writer working for Tucker Carlson at The
Daily Caller, she guested on the Fox Morning Show and
told Steve Doocy that George Sorrow's trying to restructure society.
By the way, I did just ask a rhetorical question. There.
We all know which Caitlin Collins Trump thought he could
(07:32):
rely on on Wednesday night, and the results proved Trump correct.
Trump is now in fact fundraising off this farce t
shirts with a picture of him and the CNN logo
on it, only with the sea replaced by T for Trump.
This is TNN nice work. Blicked back to the timeline
(07:52):
as it is slowly leaking out. We also have a
snippet from what was going on backstage, just as the
unnamed floor manager was pre censoring the audience, the Guardian
also reported quote Trump told licked backstage that he would
boost their ratings, to which Lickt nodded and said he
should have quote a good conversation and have fun. I mean,
(08:16):
imagine the stupidity, the naivete, the lack of any moral
grounding or any connection to reality, for the head of
an American news organization of any size or shape to
look into the dead, scheming, soulless eyes of a man
who spent all of his last two months in office
(08:38):
trying to overturn the election and overthrow the government, and
telling him to have fun. Say Adolph, have fun out there.
Hey Paul Pott, have a good conversation. Stalin, knock him dead.
(08:58):
The question still remains what Chris Lickt got for his
glad handing of pure evil wearing an excessively long tie.
What he got for beating up the sole voice of
even milk toast descent within CNN, And the earliest data
is in It came in on Friday as well, and
it suggests he got a loss of eight percent of
CNN's primetime audience. On Tuesday night PT pre Trump, CNN
(09:24):
averaged five hundred and eighty nine thousand total viewers throughout
primetime one hundred and thirty four thousand in the advertising
demo of viewers age twenty five to fifty four. On
Thursday night, at after Trump, the numbers were down to
five hundred and thirty eight thousand total and one hundred
and twenty four thousand in the demo, and that is
an eight percent loss, not all that much worse than
(09:47):
CNN's last year of ratings under Lickt, which have been
the TV equivalent of stick a mirror under CNN's nose
to see if it's still breathing. But it is conclusive
evidence that the Trump farce on Wednesday gained the network
absolutely nothing in terms of audience, Just as on that night,
(10:07):
it was clear Trump's viewers left as soon as he
stopped talking. That was at nine to ten Eastern. By
ten Eastern or so, as I have mentioned, CNN was
again in last place in Cable News. Now for a
brief moment about the loudest voices inside vs CNN. This
happened too late Thursday night for me to have seen it,
(10:30):
and judging by the ratings, nobody else saw it either.
But CNN gave Caitlyn Collins her own primetime hour Thursday Night,
a preview of the permanent primetime assignment licked incredibly thinks
we'll pull the network out of the crapper. The first
topic of the Caitlyn Collins Show was Caitlyn Collins and
(10:50):
the opening panel was a fawning collection of political opportunists
and guess what they all thought Caitlyn Collins was great
and they wanted to tell her. So. It was a
sad looking group, something between those crazy Russian TV commentators
calling for the use of nuclear weapons in Ukraine and
the collection of silent film stars shown morosely playing bridge
(11:14):
in the classic movie Sunset Boulevard. I mean, David Axelrod
is still alive, Maggie Haberman, the hapless Van Jones. Was
this the night Van Jones that Caitlin Collins truly became president?
And of course that means we have to circle back
and recognize that if they are VCCNN, then their Marshall
(11:37):
Petin is Anderson freaking Cooper boiled alive at every corner
online and off for attacking his own viewers with the
now eternal career ending staying in your silo quote. Cooper
actually went back on the air Friday night, not one
(11:58):
mention of the blowback against him, his sanctimonious assault on
his own fans, nor the ludicrousness of his argument, which
I guess boils down to U. Peons must all expose
yourself to Trump, I guess, before Trump exposes himself to you.
The impeccable Philip Bump of the Washington Post was ready,
(12:19):
as always with the receipts. As the kiddos say, he
would have made a great founding member of the Society
for American Baseball Research. Again Friday night, Bump wrote, quote,
CNN has collectively mentioned the supporters of Obama, Romney, Clinton,
and President Biden about ten thousand times combined since January
(12:40):
twenty ten. It has mentioned Trump's supporters more than twenty
two thousand times since then. Unquote, Phil Bump says it's
the same on the other cable news channels, twice as
many references to Trump supporters as all other political supporters combined.
So Anderson, there is no silo, there is no lit
(13:04):
sending only to people you agree with, and clearly there
is no future for Anderson Cooper. I have endured plenty
of live frick of seeing on social media, and I
have seen others endure far worse. But what different about
this time? What different about the response to Anderson Cooper
and this amazing condescension of his was he has been
(13:25):
rejected by his own side. Some of us, I think,
came close to capturing this, but not as close, and
not as angrily, and not as much with a sense
of being personally hurt. As the former CNN analyst Sonny
Hosten on The View on Thursday. This is extraordinary worth
(13:47):
hearing in full before we finally get back to poor
old Oliver Darcy, especially given that, as you will hear,
she describes herself as a friend of Anderson Cooper.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
I think that you don't give a big and a
racist and a misogynist and a liar and a treator
and a sexual abuser and a defamer a platform of
three million people. And I'm saddened. I used to work
for CNN for quite some time. Anderson Cooper has been
my friend for over twenty years, and I'm sadden that
(14:23):
he tried to gaslight me yesterday by saying that people
are in silos. People aren't living in a silo. They
are choosing to listen to the lies or not forty
six point nine percent of people voted for Trump in
twenty twenty, but he lost the popular vote by over
seven million people. We know who this man is. We
learned who this man is, and we did not need
(14:46):
to see what we saw. I think that that town
hall will be studied in journalism schools around the country
as to what not to do. It was not fact
checked appropriately. I don't believe again, but the girl I'm
good enough in that such a brain line, Can I
(15:06):
just not be interrupted for a second. She didn't have
the rain. He agreed to the interview because he knew
he could steamroll her.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
That's not fair, Jake.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Tappert, I have done it to anyone would have done
a better job. And I will tell you that. Remember
Trump walked out of a sixty minutes interview with Leslie
Stall because she was fact checking him in real time
every single time. It's time for some real introspection at
CNN because I often thought, like, just Judge brandeis because
(15:36):
the Supreme Court Justice actually brandeised that sunlight is said
to be the best of disinfectants. This time, that's what
this side is. No CNN went with les moonvez this
was a business decision less. Moonvez said, this was awful
for the country, but it was good for CBS. This
was awful for the country, CBS, it was awful for
the country, But congratulations CNN for making a little bit
(15:59):
of money on the backs of our democracy.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Did anybody see Anderson Cooper's face after that? No, Well,
we'll just look around the studio for it later. It
probably popped off, just like his limbs did after Sonny
Hostin took him the f apart. Well, now finally we
can come back to poor mister Darcy. I noted here
yesterday that the silence inside CNN on the record anyway,
(16:24):
was both sad and terrifying. The decisions and the deciders
who inflicted upon us the Trump town hall reflected journalistic
malpractice and citizenship betrayal. But Anderson Cooper's maudlin and condescending
attack on his own audience and the utter silence of
Wolf Flitzer and Jake Tapper and Aaron Burnett and all
(16:48):
of CNN's reporters and commentators, those are different. Those are
moral failings. If one of those people stood up and
protested Licht's support with his fascist masters might be irreparably
or at least significantly damaged. If two of them stood
(17:09):
up and protested together, the support might disappear. If three
of them stood up together, Chris lickt might disappear. Ladies
and gentlemen of CNN, do you stand for anything? Does
that organization mean anything to you? I was not there
on day one, but I was there at the end
of year one, and I'm damn proud of it, and
(17:32):
I grieve that what Chris licked has done to it
by prostituting it. You are the ones Will Flitzer, Jake Tapper,
Aaron Burnett, even Anderson Cooper up there on your high horse.
You are the ones keeping the original noble idea news
unrestrained by the need to cut it off and put
(17:53):
on the Beverly Hillbillies at eight pm while still making money.
You are the ones charged by history and by your
own ambitions and principles, with protecting the idea and the
purpose of CNN, and in a broader sense, with protecting
the idea and the purpose of journalism, and in a
broader sense still worth protecting the idea and the purpose
(18:15):
of American democracy. Are you going to do that? Are
you going to risk something for it? Have you really
all been working there for decades and not yet made
enough money to cover you for the rest of your lives.
Is there anyone at CNN willing to place their craft
(18:35):
and their responsibility ahead of their paycheck or not me?
Just let's have the media critic do it by himself.
Let's have Oliver Darcy represent the side of Murrow and
Cronkite and Bill Zimmerman and low Waters and John Holloman
and Bernard Shaw in the hotel room in Baghdad, and
(18:56):
even crazy old Ted Turner himself. Let's let Oliver Darcy
be the only one willing to say, if we're serious
about presenting both sides, shouldn't we present the side that
disagreed with doing this? Shouldn't you go in there with
Oliver Darcy and say enough? Because guess what. Staying out
of the fray and protecting your paycheck may work short term,
(19:20):
may work for years, or then again, it may not
work at all. There are a lot of ambitious anchors
without any standards out there, and they're all younger than
you are. Maybe it would be better if you took
the risk now in defense of you know, the United
States of America. Even if Chris licked? Did then get
(19:42):
you fired? I mean, which would you rather have on
your tombstone? I got fired because I protested when my
network's new paste eating boss, Chris Licked sold us out
to Donald Trump. Or I got fired because they wanted
to expand Caitlin Collins tonight to five hours long still
(20:17):
ahead on this edition of Countdown, not gonna lie. The
rest of this is just a repeat of Friday's episode
number two hundred. My idea in doing this special edition
was I was going to put about four or five
minutes of headlines on at the start of it, then
just redo all of Friday's show, and I was going
to do it as short as I could. Well, I'm
not good at doing short anyway. Friday's episode number two
(20:39):
hundred is good. But if you've heard it already and
you want to hit stop now, talk to you Monday.
If not, I've got the other CNN talent in quotes
who defended this monstrosity, also the James Thurber story that
perfectly fits all of the stories of Trump, but particularly
this one. And I've got what is still the latest
(20:59):
on whether the President will use the fourteenth Amendment to
fight off Kevin McCarthy and the debt limit hostage takers.
That's next. This is countdown. This is countdown with Keith
(21:23):
Olbooman postscripts to the news, some headlines, some updates, some snarks,
some predictions, dateline, Washington, more and more signs that the
administration may actually do something innovative and strident about the
debt ceiling. The follow up meeting at the White House
today has been canceled. Speaker McCarthy says it's because there
(21:46):
has not been enough progress. Others in DC say this
is because the President is in fact willing to try
the fourteenth Amendment, willing to try to bypass the Republican
hostage drama altogether by saying he is constitutionally obligated to
pay the national debt, and it says so so in
the fourteenth. The process has been debated, though when Joe
(22:08):
Biden hinted at this the other day, he indicated it
would have to be litigated, implying he would do it.
Others would then sue to stop him. But the Cornell
law professor Michael Dorf says he's got it backwards, that
people in favor of using the amendment should sue first.
They should claim in court that any failure or delay
(22:29):
by the government in paying them what it owes them
would cause profound injury. DARF says a suit like that
was in fact filed. On Monday. The NAGE, the National
Association of Government Employees, sued FED chaired Janet Yellen on
other grounds, trying to get a judge to rule that
the debt default concept is illegal because of separation of
(22:52):
powers and the Fifth Amendment, and that the debt ceiling
itself is unconstitutional. Now, look, we are here now in deep,
deep legal waters, and I'm getting dizzy, and I feel
like the pea quad is sinking again. But I think
I understand this, and whatever it is, it's a damn
sight better of a plan than defaulting or giving into
(23:14):
this Mountebank, Kevin McCarthy, Thank you, Nancy Faust and Dateline
New York. The Manhattan District Attorney today charges Daniel J.
Penny in the choke hold death of the houseless man
in the New York subway Jordan Neely, second degree manslaughter
(23:36):
on a simple premise a man threatening people in public,
like on a subway train, might be restrained or even
injured in the process by good Samaritans. And the good
Samaritans get a medal, but choking the man to death
is not any of that. The other problem here is
that virtually every news story refers to the now defendant
(23:57):
Daniel Jpenny as a quote marine veteran, as if we
were back on the Pea quad as I mentioned in
the a Bloc and just now. His military status has
got nothing to do with this. In fact, it gives
him a benefit of the doubt he clearly does not deserve.
If the roles had been reversed and Penny had been
choked to death by a disturbed man named Jordan Neely,
(24:18):
the headlines would be calling Jordan Neely something like the
subway strangler coming up Friday's with Thurber and only one
(24:40):
story that he could possibly offer to us today, the
greatest man in the world. First, the daily round up
of the miss Greens, morons and Dunning Kruger effect specimens
who constitute today's worst persons in the world, Lebrons, Tony Nunciado.
Tony is standing by his guy, George Santos. George Santos,
(25:01):
who has been charged with everything but stealing false teeth
off corpses in the mortuary. But Tony Nunziado says he
is not ready to call for Santos' resignation from Congress.
I'll wait to see what they say in court, Nunziato says,
Especially lately, we see many people being indicted, but they
were wrong and they were set free. And who is
(25:23):
this Tony Nunziato who is so optimistic about the chance
that somehow they've got the wrong guy for all thirteen
George Santos indictments. Tony Nunziado is chairman of the Republican
Party of Queens. And when you are the chairman of
the Republican Party of Queens, it must be very difficult
to say yes, all right, I'll give up on the
(25:43):
first guy we actually got elected to the House in
a million years. The runner up, this Vivek Ramaswami guy.
I am beginning to think there are people supporting his
long shot bid for the Republican presidential nomination just for
the larfs, just because he's so dumb. Ramaswami is thirty
seven years old and is big. We have to change
(26:06):
the constitution idea, and they all have big we have
to change the constitution ideas. His is he wants to
raise the voting age. He wants to raise it from
eighteen to twenty five unless you are in the military,
or you are a first responder, or you pass the
same civics test they give people who are applying for
(26:26):
US citizenship. Now, I mean, the civics test idea is
not a bad one, But give me one example of
anybody in this country getting smarter about civic responsibility between
eighteen and twenty five that they'd automatically not have to
take the test. I mean, make it between eighteen and
ninety five. Nobody knows civics in this country anymore. I mean,
(26:47):
be careful on this. If you're actually going to institute
a civic awareness test before voting, you might shave the
voting population down to like one hundred thousand people. But
that's besides the point. Let's say Ramaswami somehow becomes the
Republican nominee and he really pushes this raise the voting
age thing, and you are eighteen next year, or you
(27:09):
are say nineteen or young twenty, and he expects you
to vote for him, with the premise that voting for
him would be He's going to take away your right
to vote for him again in twenty twenty eight. Who
is going to do this. I'll vote for him, and
then I won't vote for him because he won't let
me vote anymore. More importantly, who's dumb enough to run
(27:30):
for office and say vote for me and I'll take
away your right to vote. Ramaswami is just a dope,
but the winner. Poppy Harlow one of the two surviving
co hosts of CNN's Morning show. And look, we all
get it. We've all worked with a Poppy Harlow. Management
could come over and poop in their hat, and your
(27:53):
own Poppy Harlow would just congratulate them on their aim.
But her tweet about the you know is just wow.
Quoting what Caitlin Collins showed the world last night was
a masterclass in interviewing, real time, backchecking, and holding power
to account. She is unflappable and was born for moments
(28:16):
like this. So much love and respect. Unquote. It's just
a little over the top. Pop makes me think that
the internal dialogue here is I got rid of that
loser Don Lemon, and now Colin's just self destructed and
soon to be mine, all mine. CNN This Morning with
Poppy Harlow Poppy CNN This morning with Poppy Harlow. Just
(28:40):
Poppy Arlow. You got it, Harlow. Two days worst Poppy
in the Lord still ahead on Countdown. With all the headlines,
(29:02):
there is only one Ferber story with which to resume
our Friday readings. A tale as fresh as if it
were written right after the Trump town hall by people
who then stop watching CNN. The Greatest Man in the World.
Next First, in each edition of Countdown, we feature a dog.
Indeed you can help. Every dog has its day. The
(29:23):
irony of the name of the seventy seven pound brindle
mix puppy that they are ready to kill at the
New York Pound is almost too much to bear. He's
called Free. His human dumped Free there, left him to die,
said he couldn't pay for him anymore. Just twelve days ago.
Free knows he's been abandoned. His usual affectionate nature is gone.
(29:45):
He's seventeen months old, and the biggest complaints against him
had been if you give him a treat and for
some reason to try to take the treat away, he growls,
and he's excitable to the point of being pushy. Well,
I'm excitable to the point of being pushy for this,
they will kill him. He needs an adopter or a foster,
or our pledges to help a rescue save him. Look
for free on my Twitter feeds. I thank you and free.
(30:07):
Thanks you to the master the work of James Thurber.
There is a short film of this story. I don't
(30:28):
think it really does it justice. I don't think anything
does it justice. Occasionally, real life does do it justice.
I've thought I've seen this story playing out in real
time in this country almost every day for about seven years.
Sit back and relax, if relax is the right word
(30:48):
for it. For the Greatest Man in the World, by
James Thurber. Looking back on it now from the vantage
point of nineteen forty, one can only marvel that it
had not happened long before it did. The United States
of America had been ever since Kitty Hawk blindly constructing
(31:10):
the elaborate petard by which, sooner or later it must
be hoist. It was inevitable that someday there would come,
roaring out of the skies, a national hero of insufficient intelligence, background,
and character successfully to endure the mounting orgies of glory
prepared for aviators who stayed up for a long time
(31:31):
or flew a great distance. Both Lindbergh and Byrd, fortunately
for national decorum and international amity, had been gentlemen, So
had our other famous aviators. They wore their laurels gracefully,
withstood the awful weather of publicity, married excellent women, usually
fine family, and quietly retired to private life and the
(31:53):
enjoyment of their varying fortunes. No untoward incidents on a
worldwide scale marred the perfection of their conduct on the
perilous heights of fame. Exception to the rule was, however,
bound to occur, and it did in July nineteen thirty seven,
(32:13):
when Jack Pal Smirch erstwhile mechanics helper in a small
garage in Westfield, Iowa, flew a secondhand single motored Breasthaven
Dragonfly three monoplane all the way around the world without stopping.
(32:33):
Never before in the history of aviation had such a
flight as Smirch has even been dreamed of. No one
had even taken seriously the weird floating auxiliary gas tanks
invention of the mad New Hampshire professor of astronomy, doctor
Charles Lewis, Gresham, upon which Smirch placed full reliance when
the garage worker, a slightly built, surly unprepossessing young man
(32:57):
of twenty two, appeared at Roosevelt Field early in July
nineteen thirty seven, slowly chewing a great quid of scrap tobacco,
and announced, nobody ain't seen no flying yet. The newspapers
touched briefly and satirically upon his projected twenty five thousand
mile flight. Aeronautical and automotive experts dismissed the idea, curtly,
(33:21):
implying that it was a hoax, the publicity stunt. The rusty,
battered second hand plane wouldn't go, the Gresham auxiliary tanks
wouldn't work. It was simply a cheap joke smirch. However,
after calling on a girl in Brooklyn who worked in
(33:42):
the flap folding department of a large paper box factory,
a girl whom he later described as his sweet Pittuti,
climbed nonchalantly into his ridiculous plane at dawn the memorable
seventh of July nineteen thirty seven, spit a curve of
tobacco juice into the still air, and took off, carrying
with him only a gallon of bootleg gin and six
(34:06):
pounds of salami. When the garage boy thundered out over
the ocean, the papers were forced to record in all
seriousness that a man, unknown, young man whose name was
variously misspelled, had actually set out upon a preposterous attempt
to span the world in a rickety one engine contraption,
(34:27):
trusting to the long distance refueling device of a crazy schoolmaster.
When nine days later, without having stopped once, the tiny
plane appeared above San Francisco Bay, headed for New York,
spluttering and choking, to be sure, but still magnificently and
miraculously aloft the headlines, which long since had crowded everything
(34:47):
else off the front page. Even the shooting of the
governor of Illinois by the Valetti Gang swelled to unprecedented size,
and the news stories began to run to twenty five
and thirty columns. It was noticeable, however, that the accounts
of the epoch making flight touched rather lightly upon the
(35:10):
aviator himself. This was not because the facts about the
hero as a man were too meager, but because they
were too complete. Reporters who had been rushed out to
Iowa when Smirch's plane was first sighted over the ledge,
a little French coast town of ser Lee Lemaire to
dig up the story of the great man's life, had
(35:31):
promptly discovered that the story of his life could not
be printed. His mother, a sullen short order cook and
a shack restaurant on the edge of a tourists camping
ground near Westfield, met all inquiries as to her son
with an angry and the hell with him a hope
he drowns. His father appeared to be in jail somewhere
(35:52):
for stealing spotlights and lap robes from tourists automobiles. His
young brother, a weak minded lad, had but recently escaped
from the Preston, Iowa Reformatory and was already wanted in
several Western towns for the theft of money order blanks
from post offices. These alarming discoveries were still piling up
at the very time that pal Smirch, the greatest hero
(36:15):
of the twentieth century, blear eyed, dead for sleep, half starved,
was piloting his crazy junk heap high above the region
in which the lamentable story of his private life was
being unearthed, headed for New York and a greater glory
than any man of his time had ever known. The
necessity for printing some account in the papers of the
(36:39):
young man's career and personality had led to a remarkable predicament.
It was, of course, impossible to reveal the facts, for
a tremendous popular feeling in favor of the young hero
had sprung up like a grass fire when he was
halfway across Europe on his flight around the globe. He
was therefore described as a modest, chap taciturn blonde, popular
(37:01):
with his friends, popular with girls. The only available snapshot
of Smirch, taken at the wheel of a phony automobile
in a cheap photo studio at an amusement park, was
touched up so that the little vulgarian looked quite handsome.
His twisted leer was smoothed into a pleasant smile. The
(37:21):
truth was in this way kept from the youth's ecstatic compatriots.
They did not dream that the Smirch family was despised
and feared by its neighbors in the obscure Iowa town,
nor that the hero himself, because of numerous unsavory exploits,
had come to be regarded in Westfield as a nuisance
and a menace. Pal's smirch had the reporters discovered, once
(37:46):
knifed the principle of his high school, not mortally, to
be sure, but he had knifed him, and on another occasion,
surprised in the act of an stealing altar cloth from
a church, he had bashed the sexton over the head
with a pot of Easter lilies. For each of these
offence is he had served a sentence in the reformatory. Inwardly,
(38:10):
the authorities, both in New York and in Washington, prayed
that an understanding providence might, however awful, such a thing seemed,
bring disaster to the rusty, battered plane and its illustrious pilot,
whose unheard of flight had aroused the civilized world to
hosannas of hysterical praise. The authorities were convinced that the
(38:31):
character of the renowned aviator was such that the limelight
of adulation was bound to reveal him to all the
world as a congenital hooligan, mentally and morally unequipped to
cope with his own prodigious fame. I trust, said the
Secretary of State at one of the many secret cabinet
(38:51):
meetings called to consider the national dilemma. I trust that
his mother's prayer will be answered, by which he referred
to missus Emma's Smirch's wish that her son might be drowned.
It was, however, too late for that spurch had leaped
the Atlantic and then the Pacific as if they were
mill ponds. At three minutes after two o'clock on the
(39:14):
afternoon of July seventeenth, nineteen thirty seven, the garage boy
brought his idiotic plane into Roosevelt Field for a perfect
three point landing. It had, of course been out of
the question to arrange a modest little reception for the
greatest flier in the history of the world. He was
received at Roosevelt Field with such elaborate and pretentious ceremonies
(39:36):
as rocked the world. Fortunately, however, the warren and spent
hero promptly swooned, had to be removed bodily from his plane,
and was spirited from the field without having opened his
mouth once. Thus he did not jeopardize the dignity of
his first reception, a reception illumined by the presence of
(39:56):
the Secretaries of War and the Navy. Mayor Michael J.
Moriarty of New York, the Premier of Canada, Governor's Faamine Groves,
mcpheeley and critic Field, and a brilliant array of European diplomats.
Smirch did not, in fact come too in time to
take part in the gigantic hullabaloo arranged at City Hall
for the next day. He was rushed to a secluded
(40:17):
nursing home and confined in bed. It was nine days
before he was able to get up, or, to be
more exact, before he was permitted to get up. Meanwhile,
the greatest minds in the country in solemn Assembly, had
arranged a secret conference of city, state and government officials,
which Smirch was to attend for the purpose of being
(40:39):
instructed in the ethics and behavior of heroism. On the
day that the little mechanic was finally allowed to get
up in dress and for the first time in two weeks,
took a great chew of tomacco, he was permitted to
receive the newspaper men this by way of testing him out.
Smirch did not wait for questions. Huse, guys, he said,
(41:03):
and the Times man winced. Youse, guys can tell a
cock euyed world that I put it over on Lindbergh.
See yeah, made an assaid I'm two frogs. The two frogs.
It was a reference to a pair of gallant French
flyers who, in attempting a flight only halfway round the world,
(41:23):
had two weeks before unhappily been lost at sea. The
Times Man was bold enough at this point to sketch
out for Smirch the accepted formula for interviews in cases
of this kind. He explained that there should be no
arrogant statements belittling the achievements of other heroes, particularly heroes
of foreign nations. A the hell with that, said Smirch,
(41:46):
I did it. See I did it, and I'm talking
about it, And he did talk about it. None of
this extraordinary interview was, of course printed. On the contrary,
the newspapers, already under the disciplined direction of a secret
directorate created for the occasion and composed of eightsmen and editors,
gave out to a panting and restless world that Jackie,
(42:09):
as he had been arbitrarily nicknamed, would consent to say
only that he was very happy, and that anyone could
have done what he did. My achievement has been I
fear slightly exaggerated. The Times Man's article had him protest
with a modest smile. These newspaper stories were kept from
the hero, a restriction which did not serve to abate
(42:31):
the rising malevolence of his temper. The situation was indeed
extremely grave for Pale Smirch was, as he kept insisting,
raring to go. He could not much longer be kept
from a nation clamorous to lionize him. It was the
most desperate crisis the United States of America had faced
(42:52):
since the sinking of Lusitania. On the afternoon of the
twenty seventh of July, Smirch was spirited away to a
conference room in which were gathered mayor's, governor's, government officials, behaviorist, psychologists,
and editors. He gave them each a limp moist paw,
and a brief, unlovely grin, hi he said. When Smirch
(43:18):
was seated, the Mayor of New York arose, and, with
obvious pessimism, attempted to explain what he must say and
how he must act when presented to the world, ending
his talk with a high tribute to the hero's courage
and integrity. The mayor was followed by Governor Fannaman of
New York, who, after a touching declaration of faith, introduced
Cameron Spottiswood, second Secretary of the American Embassy in Paris,
(43:41):
the gentleman selected to coach Smirch in the amenities of
public ceremonies. Sitting in a chair with a soiled yellow
tie in his hand and his shirt open at the throat, unshaved,
smoking a rolled cigarette, Jack Smirch listened with a leer
on his lips. I get you, I get you, He
(44:03):
cut in nastily. You want me to act like a softie? Huh?
You want me to act like that? Many murmany baby
face lind big huh, well nuts to that. See. Everyone
took in his breath sharply. It was a sigh and
a hiss. Mister Lindbergh began a United States Senator purple
(44:25):
with rage, and mister bird Smirch, who was paring his
nails with a jackknife, cut in again. Boyd, He exclaimed, Oh,
for God's sake, that big somebody shut off the blasphemies
with a sharp word. A newcomer had entered the word
the room. Everyone stood up, except Smirch, who was still
busy with his nails, and he did not even glance up.
(44:46):
Mister Smirch, said someone sternly, the President of the United States.
It had been thought that the presence of the Chief
Executive might have a chastening effect on the young hero,
and the former had been, thanks to the remarkable cooperation
of the press, secretly brought to the obscure conference room.
A great, painful silence fell. Smirch looked up, waved a
(45:14):
hand at the President. How are you coming, he asked,
and began rolling a fresh cigarette. The silence deepened. Someone
coughed in a strained way. Jesus hot, ain't it, said Smirch.
(45:35):
He loosened two more shirt buttons, revealing a hairy chest
and the tattooed word sadie enclosed in a stenciled heart.
The great and important men in the room, faced by
the most serious crisis in American history, exchanged worried frowns.
Nobody seemed to know how to proceed. Come on, come on,
(45:58):
said Smirch. Let's get the hell out of here. Why
do I start cutting in on the parties? Eh? And
when is there gonna be this in it? He rubbed
a thumb and forefinger together meaningly, money, exclaimed a state
senator shocked. Pale. Yeah money, said Pal, flipping his cigarette
(46:20):
out of the window. And big money. He began rolling
a fresh cigarette. Big money, he repeated, Frowning over the
rice paper. He tilted back in his chair and leered
at each gentleman separately, the leer of an animal that
knows its power, the leer of a leopard loose in
(46:40):
a bird and dog shop. Ah, for God's sake, let's
get someplace where it's cool, he said. I've been cooped
up plenty for three weeks. Smirch stood up and walked
over to an open window, where he stood staring down
into the street nine floors below. The faint shouting of
(47:00):
newsboys floated up to him. He made out his name,
hot Da, he cried, grinning ecstatic. He leaned out over
the sill. You tell him, babies, he shouted down. Hut
diggity dog. In the tense little knot of men standing
behind him, a quick, mad impulse flared up. An unspoken
(47:23):
word of appeal of command seemed to ring through the room,
yet it was deadly silent. Charles K. L Brand, Secretary
to the Mayor of New York City, happened to be
standing nearest smirch. He looked inquiringly at the President of
the United States. The President, pale grim nodded shortly. Brand
a tall, powerfully built man wants to tackle at Rutgers University,
(47:46):
stepped forward, seized the greatest man in the world by
his left shoulder and the seat of his pants, and
pushed him out the window. My god, he's fallen out
the window, cried a quick witted editor. Get me out
of here, cried the President. Several men sprang to his side,
and he was hurriedly escorted out of a door toward
a side entrance of the building. The editor of the
Associated Press took charge. Being used to such things crisply,
(48:08):
he ordered certain men to leave, others to stay. Quickly.
He outlined a story which all the papers were to
agree on, sent two men to the street to handle
that end of the tragedy, commanded a senator to sob
and two congressmen to go to pieces nervously. In a word,
he skillfully set the stage for the gigantic task that
was to follow, the task of breaking to a grief
(48:31):
stricken world. The sad story of the untimely accidental death
of its most illustrious and spectacular figure. The funeral was,
as you know, the most elaborate, the finest, the solemnest,
and the saddest ever held in the United States of America.
(48:52):
The monument in Arlington Cemetery, with its clean white shaft
of marble, then the simple device of a tiny plane
carved on its base, is a place for hilgrims in
deep reverence to visit. The nations of the world paid
lofty tributes to Little Jackie Smirch, America's greatest hero. At
(49:17):
a given hour, there were two minutes of silence throughout
the nation. Even the inhabitants of the small, bewildered town
of Westfield, Iowa, observed this touching ceremony. Agents of the
Department of Justice sought to that one of them was
especially assigned to stand grimly in the doorway of a
little shack restaurant on the edge of the tourist's camping
(49:40):
ground just outside the town. There, under his stern scrutiny,
Missus Emma Smirch bowed her head over two Hamburger steaks
sizzling on her grill, bowed her head and turned away,
so that the secret serviceman could not see the twisted,
strangely familiar leer on her lips. The Greatest Man in
(50:06):
the World by James Thurber. Of all the Thurber works,
I really think that is the one you could most
easily update, expand upon, and make it into a twenty
(50:30):
first century movie. I've done all the damage I can do. Here.
Here are the credits. Most of the music was arranged,
produced and performed by Brian Ray and John Phillips Chanel,
who are the Countdown musical directors. All orchestration and keyboards
by John Phillip Shanel, Guitars, bass and drums by Brian Ray,
produced by Tko Brothers. Other Beethoven selections have been arranged
and performed by No horns allowed. The sports music is
(50:52):
the Olderman theme from ESPN two, and it was written
by Mitch Warren Davis courtesy of ESPN EC Musical comments
by Nancy Fauss. The best baseball stadium organist ever. Our
announcer today was Jonathan Banks from Breaking Bad. Everything else
is pretty much my fault, and I thank you for
bringing us to two hundred episodes of this thing. A
(51:13):
couple of them have been slightly updated, but you know what,
I mean two hundred. Anyway, that's countdown for this, the
eight hundred and fifty seventh days since Donald Trump's first
attempted coup against the democratically elected government of the United States.
Don't forget to keep arresting him while we still can.
The next scheduled countdown is Monday. Until then, I'm Keith Olberman.
Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and good luck. Countdown
(51:47):
with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. For more
podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you get your podcasts.
Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. CNN
chairman Chris Licked strong armed, intimidated, and censored, the network's
(00:27):
only internal critic of its Trump Nuremberg rally, and lickt
manufactured the crowd reaction during the broadcast by having a
stage manager tell the audience it literally could not boo
or show any disrespect. These shocking but somehow not surprising
details revealed Friday night, along with the inevitable reality that
(00:49):
the Trump stunt not only did not provide CNN with
any ratings bump lasting longer than ninety minutes, but it
has actually cost the network viewership, apparently around eight percent
of it so far. First, Chris Licked weasel anti journalistic thug,
putting the quote fear of God into Oliver Darcy. As
(01:13):
I mentioned here on Friday, Darcy, author of the CNN
Reliable Sources newsletter, has been the lone CNN front facing
employee to even acknowledge the super nova of criticism that
has engulfed CNN and Licked and Trump. In newsletter tradition,
that reporting has been austere, calm, dignified, and most importantly balanced.
(01:36):
Early Thursday morning, he printed thirteen separate brief on the
record criticisms of the town hall and the CNN decision
to manufacture it for Trump, But he also printed nearly
as many defenses and compliments, probably all he could find.
His only personal interjection was in the opening sentence quote,
it's hard to see how America was served by the
(01:59):
spectacle of lies that aired on CNN Wednesday Evening. As
I also mentioned Friday. Less than nine hours later, Licked,
a petty, self absorbed, neurotic man with an ego too
vast for measurement by human devices, closed his internal defense
of the disaster on a CNN conference call by focusing
(02:21):
on that very same word Darcy had quote, America was
served very well by what we did last night. Well,
now we know what happened next. Friday Evening, Puck News
blasted out its story of Chris Lickt calling Oliver Darcy
onto his carpet. Quoting Puck's sources, Lickt summoned Darcy and
(02:43):
his editor John Pasentino to a meeting with himself, CNN
Comm's chief Chris Karate, Editorial executive vice president Virginia Moseley,
and senior vice president of Global News Rachel Smulkin, in
which they told Darcy that his coverage had been too
emotional and repeatedly stressed the importance of remaning dispassionate when
(03:07):
covering the news, be it CNN or any other media organization.
The first of two quick asides here, I have had
one on one and group conversations with Chris Lickt, and
his amorality serves his tonality very well. He can be
smarmy or cold blooded, or anything else on that spectrum.
(03:31):
I would expect Puck's sources may have also left out
one other detail here. There was probably also somebody at
that meeting from Human Resources, and this was probably a
potential setup of Darcy and his editor Pasentino, so that
if and when they do something else licked does not like,
(03:51):
or if Lickt wants to make up some allegation against
either man, Lickt can then fire them Back to Puck's reporting,
it says that Darcy did not roll over again, quoting
their coverage. Darcy by his work and pushed back on
the emotional characterization, one source with knowledge of the meeting said,
But afterward, two sources who heard about the meeting described
(04:13):
him as visibly shaken. Quote. They put the fear of
God into him. One source said, unquote. The second quick aside,
Now Lickts fixation on this word emotional in his criticism
of Darcy, that does not mean he actually literally meant
that that was his complaint with Darcy's work. It was
(04:36):
a filler, a code word, something to put in the template.
It was probably chosen because it was a word which
the famously semi literate Lickt actually knows. Chris Lickt wanted
to say, I'm certain of it that Darcy's coverage had
been too anti Chris licked Yet there is an irony
(04:57):
in his choice of that word emotional, and then its
mate dispassionate, dispassionate. Oh yeah, is that what the Trump
audience was at your CNN rally, Chris dispassionate. Before we
resume looking at the censoring of Oliver Darcy, this is
where a second report from Puck News comes into play.
(05:20):
Matthew Bartlett, a Republican political consultant who attended the event, said, quote,
the floor manager came out ahead of time and said,
please do not boo, please be respectful. You were allowed
to applaud unquote. That is a time tested and somewhat
clever way of making sure you will not hear dissent
(05:41):
from the mob mentality, the same thing you witnessed at
every Trump event, And certainly you would not have had
any idea of the silent disgust this same Republican Bartlett
said was prevalent in the crowd. We have to seriously
wonder now if the terms under which Trump agreed to
appear in this monstrosity on CNN, the deal he said
(06:03):
they gave him included those instructions to the audience going
into it. The only possible justification for this journalistic treaty
of Munich was the possibility that one of the crowd
members would turn out to be one of the nearly
extinct species of rational Republicans, or at least a DeSantis guy,
and he or she either would get an actual question
(06:26):
in or would shout or boo from the audience. And
now we know that would never have happened, and Trump
already knew it wouldn't happen on stage from The Guardian's
Hugo loll on Friday quote. Trump team also figured that
CNN worked for its needs because it could have Caitlyn
Collins as the moderator, who has taken care to preserve
(06:49):
her relationship with the ex president and what relationship is
that and which Caitlyn Collins was it with? Was it
more like her pointed stance pushing back against Trump from
her days as a CNN Went correspondent or was it
more like the squealing fascist she still was in the
(07:10):
video clip that's been playing on social media, in which,
as an entertainment writer working for Tucker Carlson at The
Daily Caller, she guested on the Fox Morning Show and
told Steve Doocy that George Sorrow's trying to restructure society.
By the way, I did just ask a rhetorical question. There.
We all know which Caitlin Collins Trump thought he could
(07:32):
rely on on Wednesday night, and the results proved Trump correct.
Trump is now in fact fundraising off this farce t
shirts with a picture of him and the CNN logo
on it, only with the sea replaced by T for Trump.
This is TNN nice work. Blicked back to the timeline
(07:52):
as it is slowly leaking out. We also have a
snippet from what was going on backstage, just as the
unnamed floor manager was pre censoring the audience, the Guardian
also reported quote Trump told licked backstage that he would
boost their ratings, to which Lickt nodded and said he
should have quote a good conversation and have fun. I mean,
(08:16):
imagine the stupidity, the naivete, the lack of any moral
grounding or any connection to reality, for the head of
an American news organization of any size or shape to
look into the dead, scheming, soulless eyes of a man
who spent all of his last two months in office
(08:38):
trying to overturn the election and overthrow the government, and
telling him to have fun. Say Adolph, have fun out there.
Hey Paul Pott, have a good conversation. Stalin, knock him dead.
(08:58):
The question still remains what Chris Lickt got for his
glad handing of pure evil wearing an excessively long tie.
What he got for beating up the sole voice of
even milk toast descent within CNN, And the earliest data
is in It came in on Friday as well, and
it suggests he got a loss of eight percent of
CNN's primetime audience. On Tuesday night PT pre Trump, CNN
(09:24):
averaged five hundred and eighty nine thousand total viewers throughout
primetime one hundred and thirty four thousand in the advertising
demo of viewers age twenty five to fifty four. On
Thursday night, at after Trump, the numbers were down to
five hundred and thirty eight thousand total and one hundred
and twenty four thousand in the demo, and that is
an eight percent loss, not all that much worse than
(09:47):
CNN's last year of ratings under Lickt, which have been
the TV equivalent of stick a mirror under CNN's nose
to see if it's still breathing. But it is conclusive
evidence that the Trump farce on Wednesday gained the network
absolutely nothing in terms of audience, Just as on that night,
(10:07):
it was clear Trump's viewers left as soon as he
stopped talking. That was at nine to ten Eastern. By
ten Eastern or so, as I have mentioned, CNN was
again in last place in Cable News. Now for a
brief moment about the loudest voices inside vs CNN. This
happened too late Thursday night for me to have seen it,
(10:30):
and judging by the ratings, nobody else saw it either.
But CNN gave Caitlyn Collins her own primetime hour Thursday Night,
a preview of the permanent primetime assignment licked incredibly thinks
we'll pull the network out of the crapper. The first
topic of the Caitlyn Collins Show was Caitlyn Collins and
(10:50):
the opening panel was a fawning collection of political opportunists
and guess what they all thought Caitlyn Collins was great
and they wanted to tell her. So. It was a
sad looking group, something between those crazy Russian TV commentators
calling for the use of nuclear weapons in Ukraine and
the collection of silent film stars shown morosely playing bridge
(11:14):
in the classic movie Sunset Boulevard. I mean, David Axelrod
is still alive, Maggie Haberman, the hapless Van Jones. Was
this the night Van Jones that Caitlin Collins truly became president?
And of course that means we have to circle back
and recognize that if they are VCCNN, then their Marshall
(11:37):
Petin is Anderson freaking Cooper boiled alive at every corner
online and off for attacking his own viewers with the
now eternal career ending staying in your silo quote. Cooper
actually went back on the air Friday night, not one
(11:58):
mention of the blowback against him, his sanctimonious assault on
his own fans, nor the ludicrousness of his argument, which
I guess boils down to U. Peons must all expose
yourself to Trump, I guess, before Trump exposes himself to you.
The impeccable Philip Bump of the Washington Post was ready,
(12:19):
as always with the receipts. As the kiddos say, he
would have made a great founding member of the Society
for American Baseball Research. Again Friday night, Bump wrote, quote,
CNN has collectively mentioned the supporters of Obama, Romney, Clinton,
and President Biden about ten thousand times combined since January
(12:40):
twenty ten. It has mentioned Trump's supporters more than twenty
two thousand times since then. Unquote, Phil Bump says it's
the same on the other cable news channels, twice as
many references to Trump supporters as all other political supporters combined.
So Anderson, there is no silo, there is no lit
(13:04):
sending only to people you agree with, and clearly there
is no future for Anderson Cooper. I have endured plenty
of live frick of seeing on social media, and I
have seen others endure far worse. But what different about
this time? What different about the response to Anderson Cooper
and this amazing condescension of his was he has been
(13:25):
rejected by his own side. Some of us, I think,
came close to capturing this, but not as close, and
not as angrily, and not as much with a sense
of being personally hurt. As the former CNN analyst Sonny
Hosten on The View on Thursday. This is extraordinary worth
(13:47):
hearing in full before we finally get back to poor
old Oliver Darcy, especially given that, as you will hear,
she describes herself as a friend of Anderson Cooper.
Speaker 2 (14:02):
I think that you don't give a big and a
racist and a misogynist and a liar and a treator
and a sexual abuser and a defamer a platform of
three million people. And I'm saddened. I used to work
for CNN for quite some time. Anderson Cooper has been
my friend for over twenty years, and I'm sadden that
(14:23):
he tried to gaslight me yesterday by saying that people
are in silos. People aren't living in a silo. They
are choosing to listen to the lies or not forty
six point nine percent of people voted for Trump in
twenty twenty, but he lost the popular vote by over
seven million people. We know who this man is. We
learned who this man is, and we did not need
(14:46):
to see what we saw. I think that that town
hall will be studied in journalism schools around the country
as to what not to do. It was not fact
checked appropriately. I don't believe again, but the girl I'm
good enough in that such a brain line, Can I
(15:06):
just not be interrupted for a second. She didn't have
the rain. He agreed to the interview because he knew
he could steamroll her.
Speaker 1 (15:15):
That's not fair, Jake.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Tappert, I have done it to anyone would have done
a better job. And I will tell you that. Remember
Trump walked out of a sixty minutes interview with Leslie
Stall because she was fact checking him in real time
every single time. It's time for some real introspection at
CNN because I often thought, like, just Judge brandeis because
(15:36):
the Supreme Court Justice actually brandeised that sunlight is said
to be the best of disinfectants. This time, that's what
this side is. No CNN went with les moonvez this
was a business decision less. Moonvez said, this was awful
for the country, but it was good for CBS. This
was awful for the country, CBS, it was awful for
the country, But congratulations CNN for making a little bit
(15:59):
of money on the backs of our democracy.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Did anybody see Anderson Cooper's face after that? No, Well,
we'll just look around the studio for it later. It
probably popped off, just like his limbs did after Sonny
Hostin took him the f apart. Well, now finally we
can come back to poor mister Darcy. I noted here
yesterday that the silence inside CNN on the record anyway,
(16:24):
was both sad and terrifying. The decisions and the deciders
who inflicted upon us the Trump town hall reflected journalistic
malpractice and citizenship betrayal. But Anderson Cooper's maudlin and condescending
attack on his own audience and the utter silence of
Wolf Flitzer and Jake Tapper and Aaron Burnett and all
(16:48):
of CNN's reporters and commentators, those are different. Those are
moral failings. If one of those people stood up and
protested Licht's support with his fascist masters might be irreparably
or at least significantly damaged. If two of them stood
(17:09):
up and protested together, the support might disappear. If three
of them stood up together, Chris lickt might disappear. Ladies
and gentlemen of CNN, do you stand for anything? Does
that organization mean anything to you? I was not there
on day one, but I was there at the end
of year one, and I'm damn proud of it, and
(17:32):
I grieve that what Chris licked has done to it
by prostituting it. You are the ones Will Flitzer, Jake Tapper,
Aaron Burnett, even Anderson Cooper up there on your high horse.
You are the ones keeping the original noble idea news
unrestrained by the need to cut it off and put
(17:53):
on the Beverly Hillbillies at eight pm while still making money.
You are the ones charged by history and by your
own ambitions and principles, with protecting the idea and the
purpose of CNN, and in a broader sense, with protecting
the idea and the purpose of journalism, and in a
broader sense still worth protecting the idea and the purpose
(18:15):
of American democracy. Are you going to do that? Are
you going to risk something for it? Have you really
all been working there for decades and not yet made
enough money to cover you for the rest of your lives.
Is there anyone at CNN willing to place their craft
(18:35):
and their responsibility ahead of their paycheck or not me?
Just let's have the media critic do it by himself.
Let's have Oliver Darcy represent the side of Murrow and
Cronkite and Bill Zimmerman and low Waters and John Holloman
and Bernard Shaw in the hotel room in Baghdad, and
(18:56):
even crazy old Ted Turner himself. Let's let Oliver Darcy
be the only one willing to say, if we're serious
about presenting both sides, shouldn't we present the side that
disagreed with doing this? Shouldn't you go in there with
Oliver Darcy and say enough? Because guess what. Staying out
of the fray and protecting your paycheck may work short term,
(19:20):
may work for years, or then again, it may not
work at all. There are a lot of ambitious anchors
without any standards out there, and they're all younger than
you are. Maybe it would be better if you took
the risk now in defense of you know, the United
States of America. Even if Chris licked? Did then get
(19:42):
you fired? I mean, which would you rather have on
your tombstone? I got fired because I protested when my
network's new paste eating boss, Chris Licked sold us out
to Donald Trump. Or I got fired because they wanted
to expand Caitlin Collins tonight to five hours long still
(20:17):
ahead on this edition of Countdown, not gonna lie. The
rest of this is just a repeat of Friday's episode
number two hundred. My idea in doing this special edition
was I was going to put about four or five
minutes of headlines on at the start of it, then
just redo all of Friday's show, and I was going
to do it as short as I could. Well, I'm
not good at doing short anyway. Friday's episode number two
(20:39):
hundred is good. But if you've heard it already and
you want to hit stop now, talk to you Monday.
If not, I've got the other CNN talent in quotes
who defended this monstrosity, also the James Thurber story that
perfectly fits all of the stories of Trump, but particularly
this one. And I've got what is still the latest
(20:59):
on whether the President will use the fourteenth Amendment to
fight off Kevin McCarthy and the debt limit hostage takers.
That's next. This is countdown. This is countdown with Keith
(21:23):
Olbooman postscripts to the news, some headlines, some updates, some snarks,
some predictions, dateline, Washington, more and more signs that the
administration may actually do something innovative and strident about the
debt ceiling. The follow up meeting at the White House
today has been canceled. Speaker McCarthy says it's because there
(21:46):
has not been enough progress. Others in DC say this
is because the President is in fact willing to try
the fourteenth Amendment, willing to try to bypass the Republican
hostage drama altogether by saying he is constitutionally obligated to
pay the national debt, and it says so so in
the fourteenth. The process has been debated, though when Joe
(22:08):
Biden hinted at this the other day, he indicated it
would have to be litigated, implying he would do it.
Others would then sue to stop him. But the Cornell
law professor Michael Dorf says he's got it backwards, that
people in favor of using the amendment should sue first.
They should claim in court that any failure or delay
(22:29):
by the government in paying them what it owes them
would cause profound injury. DARF says a suit like that
was in fact filed. On Monday. The NAGE, the National
Association of Government Employees, sued FED chaired Janet Yellen on
other grounds, trying to get a judge to rule that
the debt default concept is illegal because of separation of
(22:52):
powers and the Fifth Amendment, and that the debt ceiling
itself is unconstitutional. Now, look, we are here now in deep,
deep legal waters, and I'm getting dizzy, and I feel
like the pea quad is sinking again. But I think
I understand this, and whatever it is, it's a damn
sight better of a plan than defaulting or giving into
(23:14):
this Mountebank, Kevin McCarthy, Thank you, Nancy Faust and Dateline
New York. The Manhattan District Attorney today charges Daniel J.
Penny in the choke hold death of the houseless man
in the New York subway Jordan Neely, second degree manslaughter
(23:36):
on a simple premise a man threatening people in public,
like on a subway train, might be restrained or even
injured in the process by good Samaritans. And the good
Samaritans get a medal, but choking the man to death
is not any of that. The other problem here is
that virtually every news story refers to the now defendant
(23:57):
Daniel Jpenny as a quote marine veteran, as if we
were back on the Pea quad as I mentioned in
the a Bloc and just now. His military status has
got nothing to do with this. In fact, it gives
him a benefit of the doubt he clearly does not deserve.
If the roles had been reversed and Penny had been
choked to death by a disturbed man named Jordan Neely,
(24:18):
the headlines would be calling Jordan Neely something like the
subway strangler coming up Friday's with Thurber and only one
(24:40):
story that he could possibly offer to us today, the
greatest man in the world. First, the daily round up
of the miss Greens, morons and Dunning Kruger effect specimens
who constitute today's worst persons in the world, Lebrons, Tony Nunciado.
Tony is standing by his guy, George Santos. George Santos,
(25:01):
who has been charged with everything but stealing false teeth
off corpses in the mortuary. But Tony Nunziado says he
is not ready to call for Santos' resignation from Congress.
I'll wait to see what they say in court, Nunziato says,
Especially lately, we see many people being indicted, but they
were wrong and they were set free. And who is
(25:23):
this Tony Nunziato who is so optimistic about the chance
that somehow they've got the wrong guy for all thirteen
George Santos indictments. Tony Nunziado is chairman of the Republican
Party of Queens. And when you are the chairman of
the Republican Party of Queens, it must be very difficult
to say yes, all right, I'll give up on the
(25:43):
first guy we actually got elected to the House in
a million years. The runner up, this Vivek Ramaswami guy.
I am beginning to think there are people supporting his
long shot bid for the Republican presidential nomination just for
the larfs, just because he's so dumb. Ramaswami is thirty
seven years old and is big. We have to change
(26:06):
the constitution idea, and they all have big we have
to change the constitution ideas. His is he wants to
raise the voting age. He wants to raise it from
eighteen to twenty five unless you are in the military,
or you are a first responder, or you pass the
same civics test they give people who are applying for
(26:26):
US citizenship. Now, I mean, the civics test idea is
not a bad one, But give me one example of
anybody in this country getting smarter about civic responsibility between
eighteen and twenty five that they'd automatically not have to
take the test. I mean, make it between eighteen and
ninety five. Nobody knows civics in this country anymore. I mean,
(26:47):
be careful on this. If you're actually going to institute
a civic awareness test before voting, you might shave the
voting population down to like one hundred thousand people. But
that's besides the point. Let's say Ramaswami somehow becomes the
Republican nominee and he really pushes this raise the voting
age thing, and you are eighteen next year, or you
(27:09):
are say nineteen or young twenty, and he expects you
to vote for him, with the premise that voting for
him would be He's going to take away your right
to vote for him again in twenty twenty eight. Who
is going to do this. I'll vote for him, and
then I won't vote for him because he won't let
me vote anymore. More importantly, who's dumb enough to run
(27:30):
for office and say vote for me and I'll take
away your right to vote. Ramaswami is just a dope,
but the winner. Poppy Harlow one of the two surviving
co hosts of CNN's Morning show. And look, we all
get it. We've all worked with a Poppy Harlow. Management
could come over and poop in their hat, and your
(27:53):
own Poppy Harlow would just congratulate them on their aim.
But her tweet about the you know is just wow.
Quoting what Caitlin Collins showed the world last night was
a masterclass in interviewing, real time, backchecking, and holding power
to account. She is unflappable and was born for moments
(28:16):
like this. So much love and respect. Unquote. It's just
a little over the top. Pop makes me think that
the internal dialogue here is I got rid of that
loser Don Lemon, and now Colin's just self destructed and
soon to be mine, all mine. CNN This Morning with
Poppy Harlow Poppy CNN This morning with Poppy Harlow. Just
(28:40):
Poppy Arlow. You got it, Harlow. Two days worst Poppy
in the Lord still ahead on Countdown. With all the headlines,
(29:02):
there is only one Ferber story with which to resume
our Friday readings. A tale as fresh as if it
were written right after the Trump town hall by people
who then stop watching CNN. The Greatest Man in the World.
Next First, in each edition of Countdown, we feature a dog.
Indeed you can help. Every dog has its day. The
(29:23):
irony of the name of the seventy seven pound brindle
mix puppy that they are ready to kill at the
New York Pound is almost too much to bear. He's
called Free. His human dumped Free there, left him to die,
said he couldn't pay for him anymore. Just twelve days ago.
Free knows he's been abandoned. His usual affectionate nature is gone.
(29:45):
He's seventeen months old, and the biggest complaints against him
had been if you give him a treat and for
some reason to try to take the treat away, he growls,
and he's excitable to the point of being pushy. Well,
I'm excitable to the point of being pushy for this,
they will kill him. He needs an adopter or a foster,
or our pledges to help a rescue save him. Look
for free on my Twitter feeds. I thank you and free.
(30:07):
Thanks you to the master the work of James Thurber.
There is a short film of this story. I don't
(30:28):
think it really does it justice. I don't think anything
does it justice. Occasionally, real life does do it justice.
I've thought I've seen this story playing out in real
time in this country almost every day for about seven years.
Sit back and relax, if relax is the right word
(30:48):
for it. For the Greatest Man in the World, by
James Thurber. Looking back on it now from the vantage
point of nineteen forty, one can only marvel that it
had not happened long before it did. The United States
of America had been ever since Kitty Hawk blindly constructing
(31:10):
the elaborate petard by which, sooner or later it must
be hoist. It was inevitable that someday there would come,
roaring out of the skies, a national hero of insufficient intelligence, background,
and character successfully to endure the mounting orgies of glory
prepared for aviators who stayed up for a long time
(31:31):
or flew a great distance. Both Lindbergh and Byrd, fortunately
for national decorum and international amity, had been gentlemen, So
had our other famous aviators. They wore their laurels gracefully,
withstood the awful weather of publicity, married excellent women, usually
fine family, and quietly retired to private life and the
(31:53):
enjoyment of their varying fortunes. No untoward incidents on a
worldwide scale marred the perfection of their conduct on the
perilous heights of fame. Exception to the rule was, however,
bound to occur, and it did in July nineteen thirty seven,
(32:13):
when Jack Pal Smirch erstwhile mechanics helper in a small
garage in Westfield, Iowa, flew a secondhand single motored Breasthaven
Dragonfly three monoplane all the way around the world without stopping.
(32:33):
Never before in the history of aviation had such a
flight as Smirch has even been dreamed of. No one
had even taken seriously the weird floating auxiliary gas tanks
invention of the mad New Hampshire professor of astronomy, doctor
Charles Lewis, Gresham, upon which Smirch placed full reliance when
the garage worker, a slightly built, surly unprepossessing young man
(32:57):
of twenty two, appeared at Roosevelt Field early in July
nineteen thirty seven, slowly chewing a great quid of scrap tobacco,
and announced, nobody ain't seen no flying yet. The newspapers
touched briefly and satirically upon his projected twenty five thousand
mile flight. Aeronautical and automotive experts dismissed the idea, curtly,
(33:21):
implying that it was a hoax, the publicity stunt. The rusty,
battered second hand plane wouldn't go, the Gresham auxiliary tanks
wouldn't work. It was simply a cheap joke smirch. However,
after calling on a girl in Brooklyn who worked in
(33:42):
the flap folding department of a large paper box factory,
a girl whom he later described as his sweet Pittuti,
climbed nonchalantly into his ridiculous plane at dawn the memorable
seventh of July nineteen thirty seven, spit a curve of
tobacco juice into the still air, and took off, carrying
with him only a gallon of bootleg gin and six
(34:06):
pounds of salami. When the garage boy thundered out over
the ocean, the papers were forced to record in all
seriousness that a man, unknown, young man whose name was
variously misspelled, had actually set out upon a preposterous attempt
to span the world in a rickety one engine contraption,
(34:27):
trusting to the long distance refueling device of a crazy schoolmaster.
When nine days later, without having stopped once, the tiny
plane appeared above San Francisco Bay, headed for New York,
spluttering and choking, to be sure, but still magnificently and
miraculously aloft the headlines, which long since had crowded everything
(34:47):
else off the front page. Even the shooting of the
governor of Illinois by the Valetti Gang swelled to unprecedented size,
and the news stories began to run to twenty five
and thirty columns. It was noticeable, however, that the accounts
of the epoch making flight touched rather lightly upon the
(35:10):
aviator himself. This was not because the facts about the
hero as a man were too meager, but because they
were too complete. Reporters who had been rushed out to
Iowa when Smirch's plane was first sighted over the ledge,
a little French coast town of ser Lee Lemaire to
dig up the story of the great man's life, had
(35:31):
promptly discovered that the story of his life could not
be printed. His mother, a sullen short order cook and
a shack restaurant on the edge of a tourists camping
ground near Westfield, met all inquiries as to her son
with an angry and the hell with him a hope
he drowns. His father appeared to be in jail somewhere
(35:52):
for stealing spotlights and lap robes from tourists automobiles. His
young brother, a weak minded lad, had but recently escaped
from the Preston, Iowa Reformatory and was already wanted in
several Western towns for the theft of money order blanks
from post offices. These alarming discoveries were still piling up
at the very time that pal Smirch, the greatest hero
(36:15):
of the twentieth century, blear eyed, dead for sleep, half starved,
was piloting his crazy junk heap high above the region
in which the lamentable story of his private life was
being unearthed, headed for New York and a greater glory
than any man of his time had ever known. The
necessity for printing some account in the papers of the
(36:39):
young man's career and personality had led to a remarkable predicament.
It was, of course, impossible to reveal the facts, for
a tremendous popular feeling in favor of the young hero
had sprung up like a grass fire when he was
halfway across Europe on his flight around the globe. He
was therefore described as a modest, chap taciturn blonde, popular
(37:01):
with his friends, popular with girls. The only available snapshot
of Smirch, taken at the wheel of a phony automobile
in a cheap photo studio at an amusement park, was
touched up so that the little vulgarian looked quite handsome.
His twisted leer was smoothed into a pleasant smile. The
(37:21):
truth was in this way kept from the youth's ecstatic compatriots.
They did not dream that the Smirch family was despised
and feared by its neighbors in the obscure Iowa town,
nor that the hero himself, because of numerous unsavory exploits,
had come to be regarded in Westfield as a nuisance
and a menace. Pal's smirch had the reporters discovered, once
(37:46):
knifed the principle of his high school, not mortally, to
be sure, but he had knifed him, and on another occasion,
surprised in the act of an stealing altar cloth from
a church, he had bashed the sexton over the head
with a pot of Easter lilies. For each of these
offence is he had served a sentence in the reformatory. Inwardly,
(38:10):
the authorities, both in New York and in Washington, prayed
that an understanding providence might, however awful, such a thing seemed,
bring disaster to the rusty, battered plane and its illustrious pilot,
whose unheard of flight had aroused the civilized world to
hosannas of hysterical praise. The authorities were convinced that the
(38:31):
character of the renowned aviator was such that the limelight
of adulation was bound to reveal him to all the
world as a congenital hooligan, mentally and morally unequipped to
cope with his own prodigious fame. I trust, said the
Secretary of State at one of the many secret cabinet
(38:51):
meetings called to consider the national dilemma. I trust that
his mother's prayer will be answered, by which he referred
to missus Emma's Smirch's wish that her son might be drowned.
It was, however, too late for that spurch had leaped
the Atlantic and then the Pacific as if they were
mill ponds. At three minutes after two o'clock on the
(39:14):
afternoon of July seventeenth, nineteen thirty seven, the garage boy
brought his idiotic plane into Roosevelt Field for a perfect
three point landing. It had, of course been out of
the question to arrange a modest little reception for the
greatest flier in the history of the world. He was
received at Roosevelt Field with such elaborate and pretentious ceremonies
(39:36):
as rocked the world. Fortunately, however, the warren and spent
hero promptly swooned, had to be removed bodily from his plane,
and was spirited from the field without having opened his
mouth once. Thus he did not jeopardize the dignity of
his first reception, a reception illumined by the presence of
(39:56):
the Secretaries of War and the Navy. Mayor Michael J.
Moriarty of New York, the Premier of Canada, Governor's Faamine Groves,
mcpheeley and critic Field, and a brilliant array of European diplomats.
Smirch did not, in fact come too in time to
take part in the gigantic hullabaloo arranged at City Hall
for the next day. He was rushed to a secluded
(40:17):
nursing home and confined in bed. It was nine days
before he was able to get up, or, to be
more exact, before he was permitted to get up. Meanwhile,
the greatest minds in the country in solemn Assembly, had
arranged a secret conference of city, state and government officials,
which Smirch was to attend for the purpose of being
(40:39):
instructed in the ethics and behavior of heroism. On the
day that the little mechanic was finally allowed to get
up in dress and for the first time in two weeks,
took a great chew of tomacco, he was permitted to
receive the newspaper men this by way of testing him out.
Smirch did not wait for questions. Huse, guys, he said,
(41:03):
and the Times man winced. Youse, guys can tell a
cock euyed world that I put it over on Lindbergh.
See yeah, made an assaid I'm two frogs. The two frogs.
It was a reference to a pair of gallant French
flyers who, in attempting a flight only halfway round the world,
(41:23):
had two weeks before unhappily been lost at sea. The
Times Man was bold enough at this point to sketch
out for Smirch the accepted formula for interviews in cases
of this kind. He explained that there should be no
arrogant statements belittling the achievements of other heroes, particularly heroes
of foreign nations. A the hell with that, said Smirch,
(41:46):
I did it. See I did it, and I'm talking
about it, And he did talk about it. None of
this extraordinary interview was, of course printed. On the contrary,
the newspapers, already under the disciplined direction of a secret
directorate created for the occasion and composed of eightsmen and editors,
gave out to a panting and restless world that Jackie,
(42:09):
as he had been arbitrarily nicknamed, would consent to say
only that he was very happy, and that anyone could
have done what he did. My achievement has been I
fear slightly exaggerated. The Times Man's article had him protest
with a modest smile. These newspaper stories were kept from
the hero, a restriction which did not serve to abate
(42:31):
the rising malevolence of his temper. The situation was indeed
extremely grave for Pale Smirch was, as he kept insisting,
raring to go. He could not much longer be kept
from a nation clamorous to lionize him. It was the
most desperate crisis the United States of America had faced
(42:52):
since the sinking of Lusitania. On the afternoon of the
twenty seventh of July, Smirch was spirited away to a
conference room in which were gathered mayor's, governor's, government officials, behaviorist, psychologists,
and editors. He gave them each a limp moist paw,
and a brief, unlovely grin, hi he said. When Smirch
(43:18):
was seated, the Mayor of New York arose, and, with
obvious pessimism, attempted to explain what he must say and
how he must act when presented to the world, ending
his talk with a high tribute to the hero's courage
and integrity. The mayor was followed by Governor Fannaman of
New York, who, after a touching declaration of faith, introduced
Cameron Spottiswood, second Secretary of the American Embassy in Paris,
(43:41):
the gentleman selected to coach Smirch in the amenities of
public ceremonies. Sitting in a chair with a soiled yellow
tie in his hand and his shirt open at the throat, unshaved,
smoking a rolled cigarette, Jack Smirch listened with a leer
on his lips. I get you, I get you, He
(44:03):
cut in nastily. You want me to act like a softie? Huh?
You want me to act like that? Many murmany baby
face lind big huh, well nuts to that. See. Everyone
took in his breath sharply. It was a sigh and
a hiss. Mister Lindbergh began a United States Senator purple
(44:25):
with rage, and mister bird Smirch, who was paring his
nails with a jackknife, cut in again. Boyd, He exclaimed, Oh,
for God's sake, that big somebody shut off the blasphemies
with a sharp word. A newcomer had entered the word
the room. Everyone stood up, except Smirch, who was still
busy with his nails, and he did not even glance up.
(44:46):
Mister Smirch, said someone sternly, the President of the United States.
It had been thought that the presence of the Chief
Executive might have a chastening effect on the young hero,
and the former had been, thanks to the remarkable cooperation
of the press, secretly brought to the obscure conference room.
A great, painful silence fell. Smirch looked up, waved a
(45:14):
hand at the President. How are you coming, he asked,
and began rolling a fresh cigarette. The silence deepened. Someone
coughed in a strained way. Jesus hot, ain't it, said Smirch.
(45:35):
He loosened two more shirt buttons, revealing a hairy chest
and the tattooed word sadie enclosed in a stenciled heart.
The great and important men in the room, faced by
the most serious crisis in American history, exchanged worried frowns.
Nobody seemed to know how to proceed. Come on, come on,
(45:58):
said Smirch. Let's get the hell out of here. Why
do I start cutting in on the parties? Eh? And
when is there gonna be this in it? He rubbed
a thumb and forefinger together meaningly, money, exclaimed a state
senator shocked. Pale. Yeah money, said Pal, flipping his cigarette
(46:20):
out of the window. And big money. He began rolling
a fresh cigarette. Big money, he repeated, Frowning over the
rice paper. He tilted back in his chair and leered
at each gentleman separately, the leer of an animal that
knows its power, the leer of a leopard loose in
(46:40):
a bird and dog shop. Ah, for God's sake, let's
get someplace where it's cool, he said. I've been cooped
up plenty for three weeks. Smirch stood up and walked
over to an open window, where he stood staring down
into the street nine floors below. The faint shouting of
(47:00):
newsboys floated up to him. He made out his name,
hot Da, he cried, grinning ecstatic. He leaned out over
the sill. You tell him, babies, he shouted down. Hut
diggity dog. In the tense little knot of men standing
behind him, a quick, mad impulse flared up. An unspoken
(47:23):
word of appeal of command seemed to ring through the room,
yet it was deadly silent. Charles K. L Brand, Secretary
to the Mayor of New York City, happened to be
standing nearest smirch. He looked inquiringly at the President of
the United States. The President, pale grim nodded shortly. Brand
a tall, powerfully built man wants to tackle at Rutgers University,
(47:46):
stepped forward, seized the greatest man in the world by
his left shoulder and the seat of his pants, and
pushed him out the window. My god, he's fallen out
the window, cried a quick witted editor. Get me out
of here, cried the President. Several men sprang to his side,
and he was hurriedly escorted out of a door toward
a side entrance of the building. The editor of the
Associated Press took charge. Being used to such things crisply,
(48:08):
he ordered certain men to leave, others to stay. Quickly.
He outlined a story which all the papers were to
agree on, sent two men to the street to handle
that end of the tragedy, commanded a senator to sob
and two congressmen to go to pieces nervously. In a word,
he skillfully set the stage for the gigantic task that
was to follow, the task of breaking to a grief
(48:31):
stricken world. The sad story of the untimely accidental death
of its most illustrious and spectacular figure. The funeral was,
as you know, the most elaborate, the finest, the solemnest,
and the saddest ever held in the United States of America.
(48:52):
The monument in Arlington Cemetery, with its clean white shaft
of marble, then the simple device of a tiny plane
carved on its base, is a place for hilgrims in
deep reverence to visit. The nations of the world paid
lofty tributes to Little Jackie Smirch, America's greatest hero. At
(49:17):
a given hour, there were two minutes of silence throughout
the nation. Even the inhabitants of the small, bewildered town
of Westfield, Iowa, observed this touching ceremony. Agents of the
Department of Justice sought to that one of them was
especially assigned to stand grimly in the doorway of a
little shack restaurant on the edge of the tourist's camping
(49:40):
ground just outside the town. There, under his stern scrutiny,
Missus Emma Smirch bowed her head over two Hamburger steaks
sizzling on her grill, bowed her head and turned away,
so that the secret serviceman could not see the twisted,
strangely familiar leer on her lips. The Greatest Man in
(50:06):
the World by James Thurber. Of all the Thurber works,
I really think that is the one you could most
easily update, expand upon, and make it into a twenty
(50:30):
first century movie. I've done all the damage I can do. Here.
Here are the credits. Most of the music was arranged,
produced and performed by Brian Ray and John Phillips Chanel,
who are the Countdown musical directors. All orchestration and keyboards
by John Phillip Shanel, Guitars, bass and drums by Brian Ray,
produced by Tko Brothers. Other Beethoven selections have been arranged
and performed by No horns allowed. The sports music is
(50:52):
the Olderman theme from ESPN two, and it was written
by Mitch Warren Davis courtesy of ESPN EC Musical comments
by Nancy Fauss. The best baseball stadium organist ever. Our
announcer today was Jonathan Banks from Breaking Bad. Everything else
is pretty much my fault, and I thank you for
bringing us to two hundred episodes of this thing. A
(51:13):
couple of them have been slightly updated, but you know what,
I mean two hundred. Anyway, that's countdown for this, the
eight hundred and fifty seventh days since Donald Trump's first
attempted coup against the democratically elected government of the United States.
Don't forget to keep arresting him while we still can.
The next scheduled countdown is Monday. Until then, I'm Keith Olberman.
Good morning, good afternoon, good night, and good luck. Countdown
(51:47):
with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. For more
podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
wherever you get your podcasts.
Popular Podcasts
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations.
The Nikki Glaser Podcast
Every week comedian and infamous roaster Nikki Glaser provides a fun, fast-paced, and brutally honest look into current pop-culture and her own personal life.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.