August 28, 2023 • 47 mins
In today's episode, the girls discuss the age old burden of "finding yourself," and what that process looks like for two women in their mid-twenties navigating post-graduate life and the beginning of their careers and new relationships. Do you ever really "find yourself," or is it a constant process informed by the everyday experiences we encounter?
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
Hi, Hello, what's up?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Coffee?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Me too? Look at how pathetic my coffee looks compared
to yours. What is that black stuff?
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Why isn't my ity bitty but cut?
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Because it's a it's an iced espress.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
So I've been getting my I get a double espresso
every morning, whether it's from min Espresso or just a cafe.
And I got this von from a cafe called Oslo
and Hudson Yards, and my coffee order is a black
iced espresso double espresso. But everyone's always like, like, sometimes
people get freaked out when I ask for it ice,
(00:56):
because I'm like, can I have a double espresso?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Can you make that iced?
Speaker 3 (00:59):
And they're like do you want me to just put
ice cubes in it? And I was like, well that
would be what ice means.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Like a lot of.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
People can't comprehend, like like even people who I tell
my coffee order too, Like I'm not even talking about baristas.
I'm talking about like everyone else. They're always like, what
do you mean? Like what do you mean when you
say iced? I'm like, I just because no one really
orders an ice double espressa you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (01:20):
That's crazy Because like sometimes when I go into coffee
shops like the New York onones that like are annoying
and don't have Wi Fi and have like only two options.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
The options are like.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Regular black coffee or like blueberry lavender honey latto espresso
with pistachios on top. And I'll like ask them for
an ice, Mika, and They'll be like, that's a dollar extra.
I have to go, huh, because if you really think
about it, by putting ice in the drink, you're putting
less drink in the cup.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
So why am I charging? Why are charging me extra
for water? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Also, like if you put water in a fridge, it's ice,
so like that's free.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
So I don't know understand what the problem is.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Yeah, that's my thing. I will say, however, that best
coffee in New York is two dollars and fifty cents
from Ham's Deli across from the Law School or Columbia
Law School. So after having that delicious goodness for two dollars,
I simply cannot have any other coffee without feeling SuPAR.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Do you drink coffee every day?
Speaker 2 (02:20):
No, I'm trying to start drinking it more.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Reg I've been had it all summer, but I'm trying
to drink it more regularly now because school is about
to start back up and I need to get back
into the swing of my routine. And also I've been
waking up early LA time to record the podcast, and
I got home super late last night. I drove four hours,
so I needed to be away.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Why did you have to drive four hours last night.
Speaker 4 (02:47):
To see one of my bays. He lives in San Diego.
So I drove down and we had dinner.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
That's fun.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
How did it go all the way back up?
Speaker 4 (02:58):
It's actually really good at this what's the what I've
realized we're not talking about relationships as episodes, So I'm
make this super brief because we talked about them for
the last like tenerisents when I finally had like my
epiphany of like, I'm not looking for a relationship anymore.
Not that I'm not looking for one like I want
to have one. I'm not actively searching for one anymore.
(03:18):
I'm just like, we're leaving the pressure off of myself.
Things have been so much better, and now people always say,
like when you're not looking for is when you find it.
I think the premise is right, but the idea is wrong.
Like after taking a pressure off myself, I feel like
I'm not forcing anything that's not there. But also not
having expectations of things makes things feel more natural. So
(03:40):
I feel like things with this guy I've been going
very well because I don't have any of his expectations.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
So I love having the mindset where it's like, if
it happens, great and if not, I won't be disappointed
because I'm not expecting anything anyway, especially any of the.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Early stages precisely.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
I gotten this uber this morning from Zach's apartment, and
this was the most So it was only like a
twenty minute Uber drive. This was the most enlightening uber
conversation I've ever had. This woman was very heavily Christian,
and we both and I'm really like not religious at all,
but I grew up Christian, so we were taught were Catholic,
but you know, same umbrella sector, and so we were
(04:19):
just talking the whole time about our outlooks on like, yeah,
this is the same thing basically, and we're talking our
whole life. I mean, we were talking the whole ride
about our perspectives on life, just from different perspectives. She
listens to this guy on YouTube AGW or like that
channel where it's like super spiritual and super religious, and
I'm spiritual.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
So we're both talking about like.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Fate walks of life and being single came up also,
and we were just saying, how once you really like
do some self work and like reflect and get to
the point of loving yourself like so fully, then you
could actually feel comfortable in your singleness, which makes you
not only more receptive to love, but also when it
comes along, you've worked on yourself enough to be a
(05:00):
better partner for the other person. And I don't really
think in those terms a lot, because I'm very not
me me me, but I very much focus my energy
internally and if someone else comes along to compliment that, great,
but if not, then I don't give a fuck whatever.
So it was really cool seeing that perspective from someone
who is really like working towards a relationship. It's not
(05:21):
like she's desperately constantly looking for it, like she knows
she's on the right path. We were just kind of
talking about like letting go for her. It was like,
I'm not God. God is God, so like let go
like God, basically, you know, Jesus take the wheel that
whole shtick, but for me, it was more like I
can't force something that's not there. It's out of my hands.
It'll come when it's right, if that makes sense. So
we were talking a little more spiritual versus religious, and
(05:42):
it was like the most enlightened conversation I've ever had.
She gave me work advice, she gave me relationship advice,
and it was funny because Zach bought me to the car.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
And she was like, is that your boyfriend? I was
like yeah. He was like, he's so cute and good looking.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
I was like, I know, I don't know if it's
like Jessin that's realized this. I feel like the majority
of Uber drivers in New York are like very religious,
like Christian religious, because so many of them play that
k Love channel and my mom likes a Kaylave channel,
and I have nothing against it because like I grew
up Catholic with my dad, Baptis with my mom, consider
(06:17):
myself to be non denominational, So like, I am spiritual,
but it's not even like it's necessarily spiritual music, Like
the whole message of the radio station is to be positive.
And I don't know, you know how I feel about positivity.
Sometimes I'm like, oh, turn it down, but yeah, they're
doing their thing. If people listen to positivity, yeah, I
guess it's them.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
And you and me, I think feel similarly in this
way because I know you're a little more religious than
I am, but we don't, you know, base our entire
lives around religion.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
But you and me feel a similar way where it's
like there's a lot to.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Learn from religion, whether or not you are part of
an organized community. I think listening to people who are
very strongly religious in a positive love you can learn
a lot, especially when you dig into like original texts
and stuff, and like you learn about how certain religions
came to be based off of love.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
That there's a.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Lot you can learn just how to like shape your
morals and how to go about your life. And there's
a lot as a spiritual person who believes in like
psychics and taro card readings and stuff like that and
like spirits, there's a lot you can learn from religion
in terms of just like how to deal with stuff
like death and hardships and breakups and relationships and positivity
and work. It's really really interesting, and I think if
(07:33):
you look at religion positively or just choose the positive
aspects of whatever religion you want to take inspiration from.
It can really help you in your life, whether.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Or not you're a religious person.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Yah, Sarah, don't played by her Weedi bords.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
I love Weedi words.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
All you have to do is be respectful of the spirits,
because if you're not, you're just like TIII, let's get
drunk and play with weed boards.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
No no, no, you're gonna get haunted as fuck. Be careful.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I have such like a good business idea are you
ready with?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:58):
I was thinking about this while you were talking. Nothing
to do with what you were saying.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
It would just sparked and thought on my head. They
should create a business. And if anyone does this, you
better run me my check for literally changing your life. Okay,
so we're gonna work on the name a little bit.
But right now it's like a glow up glamp, not
a camp a glamp. So now they have those like
meditational treats for people in LA to go like clear
your chakras and all you do is lay around your alcohol.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
For like a week.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Yes, like what they did in that TV show you
where they went to that spiritual like aroo, yeah, and
they all.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
Have tense ever go in to La does that that's
like their spiritual wakening. But to what is it's gonna
be a glow up camp. We're calling it a glamp
because it like kind of like sounds up and what
you do or what they're gonna do the company is
they're gonna hire like personal trainers, like holistic doctors. They're
gonna hire makeup artists and like hair stylists and like
(08:54):
therapists and like so when you're feeling down on yourself
or like after a breakup, or like when you're going
to like a hard time in your life, you go
to the glow up Lamp and they teach you like
how to feel more confident and better about yourself. You
get the therapy, you get your makeup done, you learn
how to do your makeup fun, you learn how to
do your hair, dye your hair, get a haircut, You
(09:14):
get personal training to like get you back on track
with your fitness. Like how has no one done that?
That just sounds like so smart, and I maybe I
should do it.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
I don't know, that's the cutest idea I've ever heard.
I think that would take off if you did.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
That, Like, I want to hire like Patrick Taw or
like someone of them to teach me how to do
my makeup. So I was doing my eyebrows yesterday and
I was.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Like, hmmm, which are these quickly wombs coming across my face?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Squiggily cuts of pillows.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
No, I've always I thought, because you don't get them waxed, right,
because I don't get mind waxed. I always think your
eyebrows look really nice.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
When are like translucent. I invent my eyebrows every morning
because I have so much eyebrow hair, and my hair
is my hair is like jet black dark, but my eyebrows,
for some reason, they're lacking the melon in, They're lacking
the color. So it's just much a translucent hair on
my face. And I'm like, okay, well don't.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Do that whatever. I know you have something in your eyebrow.
There's like a dip or something. What's the story behind
that again?
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Taylor Winter my sister when so my parents divorced me
were little and we were allowed to sleep in the
same bed like on Fridays, we like we would watch
High schol Musical with my dad in his room and
like stay in his bed because I was like three
and Taylor was like five, and we got to do
it once a week and we'd watch it a Disney movie.
So I wanted to sleep in the middle because I'm
(10:33):
the baby, of course I should, but no, Taylor went
to the LEO had to sleep in the middle, and
so I was sleeping on the edge of the bed
and she kicked me off. So I guess I was
rolling and then I fell off the.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Side and I hit my eye on the side of the.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
Like side table, and it like gashed my eyebrow and
it never healed. So it's weird because I gave my
makeup done sometimes I guess have I Yeah, I have
before yeah whatever stories, Yeah, sometimes they fix it. I
used to get my makeup done at Belks for what
(11:10):
is exactly. It's like a department store, and they'd have
like a mean chances to go together and they'd have
like a little mac section that's where eat up chances.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Face. She looks so good.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
I cannot look in like the ghost of Father's Past,
like a character out of Beetlejuice or Rocky Horror Show.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Like I literally looked like is his name?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Rocky went from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Yeah, that's a good question. No Franking Furter.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
I looked like Frank and Furter's so beautiful, And I'm like,
I have to pay you seventy dollars or you have
you only have to buy one makeup product. That's why
they would do it for free, so I just buy
like a lipstick. It was kind of like a really
good deal to makeup us awful.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
That's so funny because wouldn't they either do I think
this is what you told me.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Wouldn't they either do.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Your foundation fourteen shades lighter or actually fourteen shades darker.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
And there was no one between, no one between.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
And don't you use that foundation to this day as
a contour.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
And it's like the darkest contour. I've actually had that
for like eight years. Been I've been using it for
so long. It's definitely expired. I mean, that's why I
break out.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
When I use it. But whatever.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Yeah, it's like that weird thing where like I've known
how to do makeups since I was super young, because
I did dance and cheer obviously, and like I would
do all of my friend's makeup growing up. For some reason,
when I do my own makeup. It don't translate, it
don't click like nothing. Is actually more annoying to me
than when people are like, you like the fame with
that makeup.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Why would you tell me that?
Speaker 4 (12:38):
Because this makeup together cast least five hundred dollars worth
of products, So tanks to me that I look exactly
the same, because why I'm not wasting my time. People
think it's a compliment. No, I want to look different.
I want to be able to recognize me.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
You know, when people ask me like, oh, are you
wearing makeup?
Speaker 3 (12:50):
I'm like, obviously, you know I was born with the
cat I right, I woke up like this.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
No.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
No, Like when men are like, her makeup is still natural.
Maybe she has forty four millimeter latches on that ain't natural,
but you men are clueless.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
So it's also when men are like, oh, I just
love like a natural girl like no makeup. It's so
funny when men see no makeup, they see like everyday makeup.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Like women will be And I'm gonna tell you men
right now, most straight men, because some men actually have
taste and they can recognize stuff, but other men look, listen,
look and listen. Per My favorite murder is favorite quote.
When you are walking down the street and you see
a woman and you go, my god, you so naturally gorgeous.
I'm gonna just clue you in. She probably has her
lips done. She probably has botox, which is awesome, period
(13:42):
love it. I am so proper atalks, but I'm just
letting you know. Okay, no one is natural.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
I'm just letting you know.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
Yeah, and she probably has on makeup wise primary foundation, concealer,
contour blush, highlighter, because highlighter gives that glowy, little natural look, mascara,
her eyebrows are definitely micro bladed or done, and that
she definitely had her eye lashes like.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Curled and her lip gloss on. Like that is what
no makeup is to you.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
I'm just letting you know, Like when you see someone
on Instagram and oh my god, they're so natural. They
are face tuned, which is fine. It's just like you
have to be self aware about these things. Like obviously
I'm pro like editing your pictures.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Do whatever you want.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
I edit my pictures, but just be aware. And this
is why Senny and I always talk about comparison. Is
the thief of joy whatever. You're like, oh my god,
they're so genetically blessed or so genetically but some people
are and some people are naturally gorgeous, like societally standard wise.
But when you look on someone's social media, for example,
it is a highlight reel, like these pictures have filters,
(14:40):
these pictures are edited, and like that's okay. You just
have to be self aware, and you have to be
aware of others doing it as well, because if you're not,
you're gonna be like, oh my god, it leaves you
feeling super lonely and ugly. And in reality, it's like, no,
everyone's just trying their best to like look like to
what does it be up to societal standards, that's all,
And it's fine.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
It's just you have to be in the No.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Girls are like these are my this is my makeup routine,
and the girls.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
Are like naturally look like the most beautiful pestsman person ever.
They're like, I do one type of mascart and then
think one swipe of vasiline on my lips and then
I brush my hair.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
And it's not even like I feel jealous. I mean
I definitely do. I don't feeling I don't feeling I
hate it.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
I'm just like, wow, you're so bad about that's crazy,
that's fair. You're happy when you make up in the
morning like a princess go in the morning. I actually
looks like my whole face is swollen when I wake
up in the morning. I have bags. My bags have bags.
My bags are like a bag collection. It's not like
they're air Maize bags or like they're Orban Outfitters bags.
But it's not no matter how much sleep I get,
(15:39):
they'll never give away. And you know that's certainly like
I can't imagine myself without bags under my eyes.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
I don't know the last time I didn't have them.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Well, you're that's okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's expected. But no,
it's crazy because that one not to like single anybody out,
but that one video that Haley Beaver did for Vogue,
when she showed her makeup routine, it's like, and I like, no,
I'm not even like I don't feel any certain type
of way about Hailey Beaber. I love Selena Gomez, but
that is beside the point. The point is is that
(16:08):
it was so funny when Haley went on Vogue and
was like, I for my makeup. Also, she does not
talk like this. I'm being facetious. I do one type
of concealer on my cheekbone and then I spot concilo
and I crow my lashes and I don't put mascara
and then I'm done.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
That's like if if like Vogue, you do not have
the Vogue fifty questions thing, and they like watch them
like wake up and like go through the morning routine.
If they ever saw mine, I think they actually be
concerned for me. It's like me sets fifteen alarms and
doesn't listen to any of them. Chance knocks on my
door at me, finally get up, me, get up, take
a shower, sit on the toilet for like thirty minutes,
(16:47):
going to TikTok do. I make up in four minutes
and run to classicals.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
I'm late. Like that's my morning routine every month.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
I also love those mine would be. I love those
like get up with me, like do my morning with me.
Because some girls live fake lives and this they could
be telling the truth.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
I'm not saying they're out here being fake, but they
live fake lives, like just fake by definition. They get
They're like this is my five to nine before my
ninth to five, I get up at four point thirty
the ass crack of dawn, not even the light is
not even up yet. And I go to the gym
for four hours straight. Then I come home and I
do my skin carrot scene. Then I spend thirty minutes
(17:22):
making a chai latte. It makes me laugh, and I
love that, and I love that that works for you.
It's just so it's funny to me because it's so
out of my realm of possibility that to me, like
that is just a fake lives, do you know what
I mean?
Speaker 4 (17:35):
What makes me laugh about them is like I'll watch them,
but at some like when they like get out of
bed and they're like like, I guess woke up and
they get now they have to go sep thic camera
first in press record and then go get.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Back in bed. Yeah, And I saw Sterre I do
it once. They made me laugh so hard.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
I did do that once.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
That's the thing, apartment, And I can say that, like
I can make fun of you because I do the
same thing. Also the one speaking of Vogue, the one
fifty questions, like you go to the celebrity's house and
ask them questions.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
The one clip of.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Them asking, I think it was Blake Lively, what's the
most important thing to you? And she goes to family
And then they asked the same thing to Kim Kardashian
and she.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Goes, oh, no, no, no. They go like, what's one thing
you can't live without?
Speaker 3 (18:15):
She goes, I can't one thing I can't live with
that is my KKW con doors stick.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
And I was like, you love a woman with her
business placement.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
It's so I mean, it makes me laugh every time,
and I mean, it's your truth, speak your truth. But
I'd be crying her, rying on the floor. How would
you answer that question?
Speaker 2 (18:36):
What question?
Speaker 1 (18:37):
What is one thing you can't live without?
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Oxygen? Netflix?
Speaker 4 (18:43):
Bitch?
Speaker 1 (18:43):
If you don't give an answer.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Adrilla, Actually, for sure, I don't know. I was trying
to think. I was trying to think about this.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
Like someone was like telling, like, describe yourself and I
was like, uh, I really.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Know, Like what are your interest I.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Was like, podcasting, you so many interested in law?
Speaker 3 (19:05):
You get the girls not in Are you not interested
in law?
Speaker 2 (19:09):
But people are like, I'm not. I loves to do
cycling and I like to run marathons. I'm like me,
not me.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
My hobbies are not necessarily healthy hobbies.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
That's just funny.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
It's like I love how people can be healthy and
actually like doing their healthy stuff. I'm healthy too, but
I don't like doing it. It's like my hobbies are, like,
what are my hobbies? My hobbies are singing, which isn't
inherently like healthy, but it's not unhealthy. It's just like
neutral singing, going out with my friends, going out to restaurants,
doing my makeup, and podcasting, you know, like not one
(19:42):
of those is like working out, rock climbing, riding horses,
does that?
Speaker 4 (19:46):
You know? Like that like eighth century like cycling and
like what what how do you get into that interest?
Speaker 2 (19:53):
I don't know. I guess you love personalities and I don't.
But whatever.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
The one thing I will say that it's even kind
of in that realm of I'm perfect land. One of
my hobby I love reading. I've really gotten back into
it with the books I read, though it's not necessarily.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
I actually love literature.
Speaker 4 (20:11):
Literature and question girl goes and gets kidnapped and falls
in love with her kidnapper.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Those are the books that Sarrie.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
I can't even sit here and lie, it's true.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
No, it's true. Did you imagine stop stop shut up?
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Could you imagine being in a job interview and your
interview were being like, what's your favorite book?
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Am I being like haunting.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
At People always asked and I just say outlanders like
they're like what is that? And then I get to
explain and it takes up like Tim Mints in the
interview and I'm like, okay, good trying to go.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
I always just gave like a basic book. I'm like
Harry Potter, and they're like get out.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Two questions in an interview always gets me. It's that
they're like what do you like? What are you reading
right now?
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Question?
Speaker 3 (20:59):
Because I do read read other things other than inappropriate
adult books that have to do with Stockholm syndrome, but
I just like cannot think.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Of them at the moment, so that bugs me.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
And everware I read a scientific study about because sarahs
spairit thing to say is like, yeah, scientifically, and she'll
say something so random.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Girl, No, no I read in study.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
Sny's favorite thing to say now is when I whenever
I say, oh, you know, according to like scientifically objectively,
So he's like, cite the study, right, now, and I
can't do it.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
Literally because she'll be like I read this study once
and I was like, well, where did you.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Read this study?
Speaker 4 (21:31):
It'll be the most random, it will be the most
random factor ever, I'm like, well, yeah, you read some
scientific study.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
So there's that question, and then there's the what are
your weakness's question, because it's so hard to border being
facetious and you can just like tell you're trying to
make yourself look impressive, but then there's actually citing your
literal weaknesses, which might turn the job off of you,
if that makes sense, or the interview or off of you.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
I always say somewhere like because like I used.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
To say, sometimes I take too much on my plate
and I get really overwhelmed with that. But that seems
like I'm pandering. So I think recently I've landed on
not that I'm interviewing. I'm in a stable job right now,
but I used to be like, I think I landed
on something like.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Oh, I'm a little like to like I let others.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Shine too much, and like I need to put myself
forward and like really take initiative in that way, because
like I am really proactive work wise, but like when
it comes to being like proud of myself and really
like making my accomplishes. Noticed, I like fall back a
little bit. Let others tend to like do that. So
I feel like that's a good answer, right.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Yeah, And like that's the same thing is like I
love interviews and I love for its dates because I
just love talking. Then I realize was the interview good?
Was the date good?
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Or do I just think I'm really funny?
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (22:55):
Personality higher, that's the question, because like I'll leave a
first date and be like, how are these men not
marrying me? Like I'm literally so funny entertaining, like I
would want to marry me.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
And then I'm like, wait, maybe.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
I always ate to Sydney.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
I can't picture her on a first date because I
know her so well that I can't picture meeting her
for the first time, let alone like romantically.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
If that makes sense, I cannot so blessing that people
only get once.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Oh oh, let'sop it. Also, the way Cydny and I
met is so funny.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
For those of you who are at New I'm Sarah,
that's Sydney, and we met in line at.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
A party in college freshman year.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
So this is like what five and a half years
ago at this point, which is so crazy to think about.
Maybe five years on the dot, I think. And we
were waiting in line to go to the bathroom together,
and I was in front of her, she was right
behind me, and some guy who's very clearly inebriated comes
up and starts talking to both of us and flirting
with both of us, and we can't figure out which
one he's flirting with or if he's flirting with both
(23:55):
of us, and then he like indicated something a little
bit nast day, So sitting and I escaped to the
bathroom and we became best friends. In the bathroom, women
can pee together, stay together for life like that.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
That floor has never seen them mop before.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
It's like, do you remember. I remember that bathroom like
it was you.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
I remember it so vividly. It was so it was
like marble, like they came at the countertops. It was
so nasty and sticky, and.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
The shower was grown because the bathroom was so small.
Do you remember this That one of us had to
wait in the shower while the other person went And oh.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
My god, men are so funny. They had like three.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
And one shampoo like dandruff cream and then like no soap.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
I was like, what do you wash?
Speaker 4 (24:35):
I will see a man with the most beautifully soft,
supple skin and I'll be like, what's your skin caroutine?
And they're like, what's a skin caroutine? What do you
wash your face with? You're like, you have to wash
your face?
Speaker 2 (24:49):
Never mind.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
In the early stages of the podcast, any Ones made
a comment that was like, men don't wash their necks,
and that, to me was, I think the funniest thing.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
I've ever heard in my.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
Life, because why do you their next or the back
of their knees? You Like, the guy I'm seeing has
like a really really big beard, and I was like,
do you wash your beard like you wash your hair?
And he was like what, I like, is that a
weird question to ask?
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Actually?
Speaker 4 (25:14):
Just want to do you shampoo it? He was like
I don't know. I was like, okay, it's like a
like a big old lumper beard. The thing is like
I love the beard on him and like compliments his face.
But he was like, I think I'm gonna shave it
all off and like restart and I.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Was like, I don't do that.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
Don't do that.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
No, no, no, no, it's like whenever men say they
get a haircut, I don't understand what it is with
like certain men's barbers, but they really don't like their clients.
Because sometimes I see men with haircuts and I'm like,
you know, they're so sexy without it, and they.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
Get in I'm like ah, And some men I'm like, please,
don't get a haircut, like, don't even care if it's bad,
do something new. But this guy, he's European, but he
gets like the black Man fade and it looks so
good on him, and I'm like, please gradu wisdom to
the other ones, because.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
When you do a fade, well, it looks so good.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Some people can't do so sexy choppy in a head.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
Yeah, well, some people think it's a fade and it's
not like a fade means fade. Some people just like
shave and then it's like all their hair. Does that
make sense? It's like you really thought you did something,
but you did not.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Unfortunately, So we should talk about the topic now because
it's literally so per usual.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
Sidey and I have squandered away more than half of
the episode talking about nothing. I hope you guys liked it,
but we get honestly are all of our reviews are like,
can you and Sydney make all of your episodes the
first part where you just riff because that's like the
more funny part and like entertaining I guess, but I
feel like we do that anyway. So we're just gonna
keep doing what we're doing and hopefully you all stick around.
(26:50):
Our topic today is finding yourself slash.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Have we found us yet?
Speaker 3 (26:56):
It's just about like this is more because the last
couple of episodes we did I've been about guys and relationships,
so we really wanted to focus our attention inwards this
episode and talk about like our progression, our mental health,
how we're doing in life in general, and this crazy
little concept of finding yourself because I personally don't think
I mean, I think your whether or not your brain
(27:18):
is fully developed, and not necessarily talking about childhood, puberty, adolescence.
I'm talking about growing as a person, like I think,
just because because your brain develops when you're twenty five
fully for most people, So I'm not even talking about that.
I'm just talking about like growing as a person in general.
Speaker 4 (27:34):
I feel like you never are really found, if that
makes sense, because like kind of like you were saying,
like things happen to you throughout your life that can
make you change, like the person that I am right
now versus the person I was senior year of college
versus freshman year of college versus high school, or like
completely different people, because I've had experiences and relationships and
(27:56):
friendships and just things throughout life that have changed my
view of things like the way I behave, the way
I act, or whatever.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
Because like.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
I wouldn't say, like, for example, like we were talking about,
if I'm introverted or extroverted, Like in high school I
was the most extroverted person ever. College, I was introverted.
Now I'm like somewhere in the middle. So I feel
like that's just like one example. But I think just
things like that change depending on your circumstances, on your surroundings,
on your environment or whatever. So I would not say
say that I've found myself, but I think I understand myself,
(28:29):
which I think is like a key difference because I
think throughout the last few years since like freshman year
of college, I've gone through some like super traumatic things
I've gone through, like breakups, I've gone through like really
difficult situations and I feel like throughout those I've learned
to understand myself better, just in the way that I've
healed from things, the way I think through things and
(28:49):
stuff like that. So I feel like through those experiences,
I wouldn't say I've found myself, just that I understand
the way I think, how I hurt, how I react
to things, and through knowing myself, I can like then
improve on things, get better at whatever you.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Know, Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
I think understanding yourself is a better way of looking
at it too, because college in high school, I feel like,
are some of the most formative years of people's lives.
And that's why I'm always like, when you get into relationship,
for example, in high school, I'm always a little bit
like what I mean. People do it and it works
for them and that's awesome, but for me, like being
(29:29):
in a relationship with your high school sweetheart, like throughout
that whole time, I'm like, that's great, But when did
you ever get the chance to actually like be single,
be with yourself, Like, do you know what I mean?
It just to me, it feels hard to understand how
you as a person have been able to develop so
fully and like you late with yourself at night? Do
you really like the person you are? It's like, how
(29:52):
did you? And if you do, that's great, but like
have you really gotten to know that person?
Speaker 2 (29:55):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
That's just my opinion on things like I would never
do it, and people doing it works for them, that's great.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
It's just like thoughts on the situation.
Speaker 4 (30:01):
I think sometimes people like you have to be single
to understand yourself. I think that kind of gets like
lost in translation because I agree with that statement only
because like, for example, my last like long term relationship,
I feel like when you're with someone for that long,
like not part of the changes to be with him,
but like you adopt some of their personality traits. So
(30:22):
like for example, like I would know that he would
get super super angry about things, so I would subdue
my opinions, or like I knew that he found value
in me doing things to him, cooking him down, andy,
things like that, like things I wouldn't normally like consider
doing for a man, I would do excep I thought
that would appease him, Or like I would try myself
seem more like soft and docile than like, oh, we'll
(30:43):
do whatever, so I can try and pease like what
he wants to a relationship. And I feel like it
kept happening for so long that it became part of
my personality with him. But like once I left, guy
regained some of that like independence or being opinionated, or
like having thoughts. So I feel like I understand it
and that sense that like when you are with someone,
you do change a little bit, Like you adopt some
of them, they adopt some of you. I think that's
(31:05):
why people are like, oh, we like, where are the same?
Silver one and the same? I think it's a creepy
statement one, but to craise a little bit of truth,
I feel like people do change themselves when they're with
their partner. So I think being alone in that sense
is more so like you have no one to influence
your emotions or behavior.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
It's just you, you know.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
Because a relationship is all about give and take and sacrifice,
et cetera, et cetera, Like you do have to make
a lot of room in your life for the other person.
If you want to be in a healthy relationship, you
do have to give a lot of your time, attention, money, resources,
et cetera, brain space to that person that could be
used to find yourself and to like love yourself and
(31:44):
to grow individually as a person. So that's all I mean.
Like I see a lot of couples who have been
together for forever, and that's really great. Like I can't
emphasize that enough, but I just just like I don't
understand you.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
That's the thing.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
It's like, I know if I didn't have those for years,
I would not be anywhere where I am right now.
I would not be like I wouldn't have made as
much progress as I've made. I feel like I wouldn't
know myself quite as well as I do at the
moment because as my brain was developing, like your brain
is literally developing, like still in high school and in
grade school and in college and after college for like
two years. So it's like to me, I don't know,
(32:21):
I don't know, Like I just feel like when you're
that young, being single for an extended amount of time
at some point is really important.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
I was actually a donut in high school. I don't
stay with my high school boyfriend. I don't know what
i'd be doing in my life, Like I was actually
like a donut, So I don't know, like what brain
stunting I would have had if I'd stay with my
high school boyfriend, because like at that point, I.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Don't know what love was. I didn't seen relationships.
Speaker 4 (32:44):
I was like lah la la lah, Like boyships are
like HOSTI girl, Like, that's the only plaining reference that
I had, So I can't imagine kudos people who happened
in like twenty relationships from like the time they were eight.
I love that for you, but yeah, could not happen
to me until I forgot just changed so much, Like
I the person that I am today could have never
been with any of the people I've been with my
(33:04):
past besides you, but like long term wise, it wouldn't
have been compatible.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Agreed. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
My boyfriend actually just got in a fight with one
of his friends about this recently because they were saying
how well Zach was saying how he prefers to be
like he when he looked at like his person or
his partner, like the person who wanted to be with
like long long term, he would prefer them have experienced,
like prior experience with other people like they. He would
have preferred them be in other relationships before him, just
(33:31):
so that like they know what they don't like what
they do like and they have kind of experience in
that sector. And I happen to agree. But one of
his friends was like, no, I don't think that's the case,
Like so what if you've never been in a relationship before,
And he was like, no, that's fine, just like like
I wouldn't be turned off or like I wouldn't turn
away from that. It's just like I like he prefers
someone who is a little more experienced, because that means
(33:53):
because think about it's like every relationship, no matter how
it ended as a learning experience, and like you are
with the person and you're learning, like what loved me?
Because remember like in my first relationship, which you just said, like,
I didn't know what the fuck love was. I didn't
know how to be a good partner. I was eighteen
years old, seventeen years old, sixteen. So it's like, I
think the fact that I do have, like I did
have three boyfriends before dating mine right now, and I
(34:16):
think like that helped me figure out what I wanted.
It's like being single was an integral part of my life.
But then also those past learning experiences, as fiery as
some of them ended, and as much as I, you know,
could sit here and joke like, oh, I you know,
wish I never dated anyone for him, It's not true
because I'm almost happy that I went through those experiences
because I feel like it made me a better partner today.
Speaker 4 (34:38):
Yeah, because I feel like your first I have relationship
you have is formative, but like hm hmm, I think
the first one is the most formative because like you
get out of that like puppy love view of like what.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Relationship is like it's not always perfect, et cetera.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
So I feel like it's also a question for you,
like I don't know if I could beat with someone
who's never been a relationship before, like even on Love Island,
like Ty was like I'd never had a girlfriend for says,
I like the game too much immediate it couldn't do it.
So I'm not going to be your like puppy dog
guy or like I teach you how to be a boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
You know, for me right now, as where I am
in my life, I am not ready to be a
mother and I did not sign up to be a
teacher or trainer like you just said. So it's like
I'm not going to baby you into teaching you how
to treat me, I kind of would prefer you already
have that experience and the knowledge and the emotional capacity
to know already how to do that. Like I expect
(35:29):
to tell you what I like, I expect you to
learn what I like. I expect you to want to
know what I like, and then I expect you to
try and make me happy in any way you can,
because I know that's what I'm going to do for you.
So if I'm over here with all my experience and
all my knowledge trying to like be the perfect girlfriend
and I'm not getting any of that back, no, that
that's a no go for me. So Actually, my most
recent ex, I was his first girlfriend. I feel like
(35:51):
I was in a place where I was willing to
teach and I was willing to be very patient.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
But right now I'm not in that place.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
I knew that after I broke up with my ex,
I would never date somebody else who had never dated
somebody in their past before. And as much as thinking
about my current boyfriend being with other girls makes me
want to like spoon out my eyeball and feed it
to him, like I yeah, Like I just know that
I would almost prefer that because I'm literally I did
not sign up to be a teacher. I don't care,
(36:18):
Like I'm not gonna sit here and waste time that
I would prefer to be making memories, Like I'm not
gonna waste that time trying to teach you how to
be a boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
That is not I did not sign.
Speaker 3 (36:29):
Up for that, and I don't have the emotional capacity
for that right now, Like I don't have the patience
for that. My patience is all gone, and I just
kind of want to partner, not a puppy dog.
Speaker 4 (36:39):
That's my thing is Like I'm just not in the
headspace with like I want to teach you how to
respect me, how to treat me, et cetera. Because like
even with tyan Ella, like he would tell her to
shut up because she didn't want to talk about her feelings.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
She was upset and he was like, oh, sorry, she's
my first girlfriend.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
Uh okay, first, third, second, or fifth, Like, you don't
tell someone to shut out that you're gonna realationship with,
Like do don't talk to me that way?
Speaker 2 (36:58):
It's a respect thing.
Speaker 4 (36:59):
You don't like if you have to learn how to
respect someone because you never didn't like ship before. That's
says more about you and your character than does about
like being in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
You know, so I agree.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
I remember this one argument I had with my ex
and he ended the argument saying we were in an
argument about something so stupid.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Think we were talking about social justice. I don't even remember.
Speaker 3 (37:19):
I was giving my opinion on the subject, and he
looked at me and goes, don't think you're smarter than me,
because you're not. I got mad and he had no
idea why I was upset. That's the scary thing. A
scary thing is yeah, no, it's not. The first red
flag is that he said that because you should never demean, patronize, condescend,
(37:40):
or bully your partner, that is just a no go.
And I had to literally walk him through why that
was not okay, and he goes, oh, I was kidding.
I thought you knew that, Like, he didn't know why
I was upset, And I was like, you can't talk
to me like that, like even my friends. It's like
my friends and I have a certain way that we
joke with each other, Like me and you, for example,
we have a very demeaning not demeaning was the wrong word.
We have a very like playful like what's the right
(38:04):
word for it'sid It's like we like to poke each
other a lot. Yeah, yeah, Like we have a very
jesting sense of humor. But that's not necessarily the type
of humor I want my partner, you know what I mean.
It's like and you guys don't even speak to me
that way.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
That's the thing.
Speaker 3 (38:17):
It's like, if not only my friends, my family, Like,
if anybody spoke to me that way, it would not
be okay, but especially my partner, Like the guy I
thought I was gonna marry, absolutely not and he had
no idea why that was not okay. I was like,
it just that was the biggest red flag for me.
So that's just one situation where I knew. I was like,
if we ever break up in my next relationship, I
(38:38):
will not sit down and explain why name calling and
bullying in a relationship is not okay. I feel like
that is so much common sense that why don't you
have that? I feel like that's baseline, Like whether first
you're right, like about Tie from Love Violence season ten,
for a second third relationship, you don't name call that's
some kindergarten shit, you know, and I'm not gonna didn't
(38:59):
sign up to be teacher.
Speaker 4 (39:00):
I know, like my ex would be, he'd like say
the most awful things a person could say to someone
and be like, oh, you're so sensitive, I can iver
joit with you. You're not fun, okay, love insulting me
your way of having fun? Then, like I'm good rather
be bored, like I'm not engaging in that, you.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
Know, absolutely, And also another thing about relationships is and
this is just for me, I can speak for myself
around my partner. I want to feel a sense of
safety and security that I don't necessarily look for in
my friends and family, Like I love being made fun of,
like I like for my birthday, for my twenty third,
For my twenty third birthday, all I wanted was a roast,
Like I wanted my friends to get up and roast
(39:36):
to me because I love that shit. For my partner,
I don't necessarily want that same sense of humor, if
that makes sense. Like I want to feel a certain
level of safety around my man and maybe that I
don't know what that. Maybe that has something to do
with like I want a masculine force, Like I don't
know what that has to do with but that's just
the fact. It's like you can't necessarily joke around with
(39:56):
me the way my friends do. And in the case
of my ex, it's like my friend and family don't
even talk to me like that.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
They would never speak to me. They would never.
Speaker 3 (40:04):
Think that that is an acceptable thing to say. So
why did you? It's like that did not equate my brain.
Speaker 4 (40:09):
Yeah, And I feel like people take advantage of like
intimacy and thinking that's like a green flag or a
green light for them. It's to cross a line. And
it's not even like friends or a family, Like there's
like some binds I just would never cross with anyone,
you know, even like you were a chance to, like
I would say like literally anything to I would never
(40:30):
like make what anyone wants intelligence or like looks or
anything like that.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
I would never like touch exactly. Yeah, you never have.
Speaker 3 (40:37):
And I feel like that's a core thing with our
friend group is yeah, we joke with each other, but
we would never maliciously demean, patronized, condescend the other person. Especially.
I mean that's a huge line across. It's like looks
like I don't even know. It's like if you guys
can understand that you guys are my friends. It's like,
why can't my who I thought was going to be
(40:59):
my life partner understand that this like Twople's two equals Groundhog,
I don't understand. But going off of relationships for a second.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
Yeah, I have like an interlude.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
There's nothing to do what we're talking about, even though
we have not hosted the episode yet because I'm not
finished editing it. We ranted about I ranted about Hinge
in my last episode, and I think Hinge heard me
because the standouts today have been really standing out. Like
I had to go buy a few roses or something.
I was like, hm, hm come here, so thank you
crying in public. But yeah, I think also, like we
(41:30):
live in this so kind of like to pivot away
from relationships and more towards like career oriented stuff. I
was thinking about this yesterday, is like we live in
the hustle culture where like everything we do has to
be monetized. And I saw this tweet that was like,
if you monetize your hobby, be prepared to never enjoy
(41:51):
it again.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
But that's so true.
Speaker 4 (41:53):
The the reason why, like I didn't want to go
into the creative industry, like directly because I love writing,
I love screenwriting, I love television, I love films. So
I feel like if I took away the joy at it,
if by making get like my livelihood, I would never
feel that same passion towards it again, which is like
why I'm doing more.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Of like the law side of entertainment.
Speaker 4 (42:15):
And I feel like it took me so many steps
to get to that place because like for so long,
I was like, on one hand, like and everyone be
kind of person that's like beholden to money, but like
just being realistic, Like one thing that was so important
to me growing up and like especially now is that
at no point in my life do I want to
be beholden to advance money. Like I don't want to
(42:38):
have to stay in a marriage or relationship or move
or change shops because like a man's making more money
than me, and like I need that to survive. Like
I want to be able to be fully autonomous and
independent and have like my own things for me, just
like for protection reasons, and so like when it came
to like having a career, I need I did something
that was not only stable but like could afford me
(43:01):
like that kind of lifestyle, like I can just fully
depend upon myself and myself only, and I knew that
like going into film and TV, like, well, yes, you
can make a lot of money, like it touched like
a herd industry to like quote unquote make it in.
And I feel like, even like with the strike right now,
you see like so many things aren't guaranteed, like it's
not necessarily stable. So when I chose to do law instead,
(43:24):
like I had always had lots going back in my
mind because like I love to argue, I'd love to
really love to write, and like people always told me,
I should.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
Be layer when I grew up. So I think finding
a way to like.
Speaker 4 (43:34):
Converge those interests while keeping like things that are important
to me in my mind, like being able to like
move upwards in the latter, I don't want to be
in the same position in my whole life, or like
to be able to diversify my work so I'll get
bored do something creative to have like reading writing is
a part of my job, be able to move like
those are all things that were important to me, and
(43:56):
finding a career. So I think like being able to
kind of piece together all of those things in like
five something that made sense for me did take a
long time because like if you had asked me before
junior year of college, like what I wanted to do,
I really wouldn't be able to tell you. So I
feel like it is a path to finding what you
want to do. And like so many people change their
careers like last minute by last minute, I mean, like
(44:18):
in their fifties, sixties, forties, just to like try something
and you'd end up being like incredible at it. So
I feel like there is no like set path. This's
to like how you should figure out what you want
to do with your life, especially with like like social
media jobs, for example, we're not a thing until five
years ago, you know, like people's entire careers that are
like based off of like creative design and like graphic design,
(44:38):
Like a lot of those jobs didn't even exist until
technology existed to make them a job. So I feel
like what we could be doing in ten years might
not even exist yet, you know. So I didn't keep
that in mind, that like you don't have to have
everything figured out in terms of like your career straight
out of college or high school.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
And that's hard too because I remember, at least in
my high school experience junior and senior year, the high
school counselors desperate to sit us all down and get
a very clear answer of what we wanted to do.
And half the girls in my great because I went
to an all girls school, half the girls in my
grade were like, what is going on? I understand wanting
to have a conversation, but it's almost like they wanted
an absolute, definitive answer. I just think that's crazy, and
(45:15):
it puts a lot of pressure.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
On young people.
Speaker 3 (45:18):
Also, going back to what you first said, I always have,
at least getting out of high school, have lived by
this mantra. It's love your passions like your job, if
that makes sense. So it's like, obviously you can still
be passionate about stuff you like, but your hobbies, like
the things that make you tick. At least for me,
basing my rent, food, utilities, and lifestyle in general on
(45:42):
those things put so much pressure on them that I
started to not like them anymore. So like musical theater,
for example, that was the case in my opinion, and
I've already talked about that a lot. Like my journey
from choosing a creative profession to leaning more towards business marketing,
et cetera. But all I have to say say is
that I love what I do, but I know what
(46:03):
I'm passionate about, and.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
I really do like to keep those things separate.
Speaker 4 (46:06):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
Also, that's another thing, is you know we always say comparison.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Is the thief of joy, Like.
Speaker 3 (46:12):
You are on your own individual path, and I know
it's really hard to not like look at your friends
and be like, oh my god, they're making so much
more money, or oh my god, their job is so
much easier, Oh my god, they're getting.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
Paid or whatever.
Speaker 3 (46:21):
I think it's really easy to do that, and it
does take a lot of mental work to be like
why would I want to be on somebody else's journey?
Like my journey is so special? And I know I'm
getting like spiritual or like deep or whatever, but my
journey is so special and I am my own person
and I love who I am, So it's like, why
would I want somebody else's Like that's great for them,
and I can be happy for them, but I want
(46:42):
what's best for me, and like what they're doing might
not be what's best for me. And so I think
that that's a really hard thing to learn. And I
would just say like, be happy for your friends, be
happy for your family, be happy for people around you,
your partner, et cetera, who are doing big things in
their life, because there is room for everybody at the top.
And yeah, oh my gosh, am i oprah.
Speaker 4 (47:02):
I'm gonna say period, but my voice is so gravelly
right now that I'm gonna shut up.
Speaker 1 (47:07):
All right, you guys, that is our time. As always.
Speaker 3 (47:09):
You can follow us on Instagram at Crying in Public
Podcast and you can listen to us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks for listening.
Speaker 1 (47:16):
We love you. Audios ye
Hi, Hello, what's up?
Speaker 2 (00:27):
Coffee?
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Me too? Look at how pathetic my coffee looks compared
to yours. What is that black stuff?
Speaker 2 (00:32):
Why isn't my ity bitty but cut?
Speaker 1 (00:34):
Because it's a it's an iced espress.
Speaker 3 (00:36):
So I've been getting my I get a double espresso
every morning, whether it's from min Espresso or just a cafe.
And I got this von from a cafe called Oslo
and Hudson Yards, and my coffee order is a black
iced espresso double espresso. But everyone's always like, like, sometimes
people get freaked out when I ask for it ice,
(00:56):
because I'm like, can I have a double espresso?
Speaker 1 (00:58):
Can you make that iced?
Speaker 3 (00:59):
And they're like do you want me to just put
ice cubes in it? And I was like, well that
would be what ice means.
Speaker 1 (01:05):
Like a lot of.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
People can't comprehend, like like even people who I tell
my coffee order too, Like I'm not even talking about baristas.
I'm talking about like everyone else. They're always like, what
do you mean? Like what do you mean when you
say iced? I'm like, I just because no one really
orders an ice double espressa you know what I mean?
Speaker 4 (01:20):
That's crazy Because like sometimes when I go into coffee
shops like the New York onones that like are annoying
and don't have Wi Fi and have like only two options.
Speaker 2 (01:28):
The options are like.
Speaker 4 (01:30):
Regular black coffee or like blueberry lavender honey latto espresso
with pistachios on top. And I'll like ask them for
an ice, Mika, and They'll be like, that's a dollar extra.
I have to go, huh, because if you really think
about it, by putting ice in the drink, you're putting
less drink in the cup.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
So why am I charging? Why are charging me extra
for water? Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Also, like if you put water in a fridge, it's ice,
so like that's free.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
So I don't know understand what the problem is.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
Yeah, that's my thing. I will say, however, that best
coffee in New York is two dollars and fifty cents
from Ham's Deli across from the Law School or Columbia
Law School. So after having that delicious goodness for two dollars,
I simply cannot have any other coffee without feeling SuPAR.
Speaker 1 (02:19):
Do you drink coffee every day?
Speaker 2 (02:20):
No, I'm trying to start drinking it more.
Speaker 4 (02:23):
Reg I've been had it all summer, but I'm trying
to drink it more regularly now because school is about
to start back up and I need to get back
into the swing of my routine. And also I've been
waking up early LA time to record the podcast, and
I got home super late last night. I drove four hours,
so I needed to be away.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Why did you have to drive four hours last night.
Speaker 4 (02:47):
To see one of my bays. He lives in San Diego.
So I drove down and we had dinner.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
That's fun.
Speaker 2 (02:56):
How did it go all the way back up?
Speaker 4 (02:58):
It's actually really good at this what's the what I've
realized we're not talking about relationships as episodes, So I'm
make this super brief because we talked about them for
the last like tenerisents when I finally had like my
epiphany of like, I'm not looking for a relationship anymore.
Not that I'm not looking for one like I want
to have one. I'm not actively searching for one anymore.
(03:18):
I'm just like, we're leaving the pressure off of myself.
Things have been so much better, and now people always say,
like when you're not looking for is when you find it.
I think the premise is right, but the idea is wrong.
Like after taking a pressure off myself, I feel like
I'm not forcing anything that's not there. But also not
having expectations of things makes things feel more natural. So
(03:40):
I feel like things with this guy I've been going
very well because I don't have any of his expectations.
Speaker 3 (03:45):
So I love having the mindset where it's like, if
it happens, great and if not, I won't be disappointed
because I'm not expecting anything anyway, especially any of the.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Early stages precisely.
Speaker 3 (03:57):
I gotten this uber this morning from Zach's apartment, and
this was the most So it was only like a
twenty minute Uber drive. This was the most enlightening uber
conversation I've ever had. This woman was very heavily Christian,
and we both and I'm really like not religious at all,
but I grew up Christian, so we were taught were Catholic,
but you know, same umbrella sector, and so we were
(04:19):
just talking the whole time about our outlooks on like, yeah,
this is the same thing basically, and we're talking our
whole life. I mean, we were talking the whole ride
about our perspectives on life, just from different perspectives. She
listens to this guy on YouTube AGW or like that
channel where it's like super spiritual and super religious, and
I'm spiritual.
Speaker 1 (04:38):
So we're both talking about like.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
Fate walks of life and being single came up also,
and we were just saying, how once you really like
do some self work and like reflect and get to
the point of loving yourself like so fully, then you
could actually feel comfortable in your singleness, which makes you
not only more receptive to love, but also when it
comes along, you've worked on yourself enough to be a
(05:00):
better partner for the other person. And I don't really
think in those terms a lot, because I'm very not
me me me, but I very much focus my energy
internally and if someone else comes along to compliment that, great,
but if not, then I don't give a fuck whatever.
So it was really cool seeing that perspective from someone
who is really like working towards a relationship. It's not
(05:21):
like she's desperately constantly looking for it, like she knows
she's on the right path. We were just kind of
talking about like letting go for her. It was like,
I'm not God. God is God, so like let go
like God, basically, you know, Jesus take the wheel that
whole shtick, but for me, it was more like I
can't force something that's not there. It's out of my hands.
It'll come when it's right, if that makes sense. So
we were talking a little more spiritual versus religious, and
(05:42):
it was like the most enlightened conversation I've ever had.
She gave me work advice, she gave me relationship advice,
and it was funny because Zach bought me to the car.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
And she was like, is that your boyfriend? I was
like yeah. He was like, he's so cute and good looking.
Speaker 4 (05:53):
I was like, I know, I don't know if it's
like Jessin that's realized this. I feel like the majority
of Uber drivers in New York are like very religious,
like Christian religious, because so many of them play that
k Love channel and my mom likes a Kaylave channel,
and I have nothing against it because like I grew
up Catholic with my dad, Baptis with my mom, consider
(06:17):
myself to be non denominational, So like, I am spiritual,
but it's not even like it's necessarily spiritual music, Like
the whole message of the radio station is to be positive.
And I don't know, you know how I feel about positivity.
Sometimes I'm like, oh, turn it down, but yeah, they're
doing their thing. If people listen to positivity, yeah, I
guess it's them.
Speaker 3 (06:36):
And you and me, I think feel similarly in this
way because I know you're a little more religious than
I am, but we don't, you know, base our entire
lives around religion.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
But you and me feel a similar way where it's
like there's a lot to.
Speaker 3 (06:50):
Learn from religion, whether or not you are part of
an organized community. I think listening to people who are
very strongly religious in a positive love you can learn
a lot, especially when you dig into like original texts
and stuff, and like you learn about how certain religions
came to be based off of love.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
That there's a.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Lot you can learn just how to like shape your
morals and how to go about your life. And there's
a lot as a spiritual person who believes in like
psychics and taro card readings and stuff like that and
like spirits, there's a lot you can learn from religion
in terms of just like how to deal with stuff
like death and hardships and breakups and relationships and positivity
and work. It's really really interesting, and I think if
(07:33):
you look at religion positively or just choose the positive
aspects of whatever religion you want to take inspiration from.
It can really help you in your life, whether.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Or not you're a religious person.
Speaker 2 (07:41):
Yah, Sarah, don't played by her Weedi bords.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
I love Weedi words.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
All you have to do is be respectful of the spirits,
because if you're not, you're just like TIII, let's get
drunk and play with weed boards.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
No no, no, you're gonna get haunted as fuck. Be careful.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I have such like a good business idea are you
ready with?
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:58):
I was thinking about this while you were talking. Nothing
to do with what you were saying.
Speaker 4 (08:01):
It would just sparked and thought on my head. They
should create a business. And if anyone does this, you
better run me my check for literally changing your life. Okay,
so we're gonna work on the name a little bit.
But right now it's like a glow up glamp, not
a camp a glamp. So now they have those like
meditational treats for people in LA to go like clear
your chakras and all you do is lay around your alcohol.
Speaker 2 (08:23):
For like a week.
Speaker 3 (08:23):
Yes, like what they did in that TV show you
where they went to that spiritual like aroo, yeah, and
they all.
Speaker 4 (08:31):
Have tense ever go in to La does that that's
like their spiritual wakening. But to what is it's gonna
be a glow up camp. We're calling it a glamp
because it like kind of like sounds up and what
you do or what they're gonna do the company is
they're gonna hire like personal trainers, like holistic doctors. They're
gonna hire makeup artists and like hair stylists and like
(08:54):
therapists and like so when you're feeling down on yourself
or like after a breakup, or like when you're going
to like a hard time in your life, you go
to the glow up Lamp and they teach you like
how to feel more confident and better about yourself. You
get the therapy, you get your makeup done, you learn
how to do your makeup fun, you learn how to
do your hair, dye your hair, get a haircut, You
(09:14):
get personal training to like get you back on track
with your fitness. Like how has no one done that?
That just sounds like so smart, and I maybe I
should do it.
Speaker 3 (09:22):
I don't know, that's the cutest idea I've ever heard.
I think that would take off if you did.
Speaker 4 (09:26):
That, Like, I want to hire like Patrick Taw or
like someone of them to teach me how to do
my makeup. So I was doing my eyebrows yesterday and
I was.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Like, hmmm, which are these quickly wombs coming across my face?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
Squiggily cuts of pillows.
Speaker 3 (09:41):
No, I've always I thought, because you don't get them waxed, right,
because I don't get mind waxed. I always think your
eyebrows look really nice.
Speaker 4 (09:47):
When are like translucent. I invent my eyebrows every morning
because I have so much eyebrow hair, and my hair
is my hair is like jet black dark, but my eyebrows,
for some reason, they're lacking the melon in, They're lacking
the color. So it's just much a translucent hair on
my face. And I'm like, okay, well don't.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Do that whatever. I know you have something in your eyebrow.
There's like a dip or something. What's the story behind
that again?
Speaker 2 (10:10):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4 (10:10):
Taylor Winter my sister when so my parents divorced me
were little and we were allowed to sleep in the
same bed like on Fridays, we like we would watch
High schol Musical with my dad in his room and
like stay in his bed because I was like three
and Taylor was like five, and we got to do
it once a week and we'd watch it a Disney movie.
So I wanted to sleep in the middle because I'm
(10:33):
the baby, of course I should, but no, Taylor went
to the LEO had to sleep in the middle, and
so I was sleeping on the edge of the bed
and she kicked me off. So I guess I was
rolling and then I fell off the.
Speaker 2 (10:43):
Side and I hit my eye on the side of the.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
Like side table, and it like gashed my eyebrow and
it never healed. So it's weird because I gave my
makeup done sometimes I guess have I Yeah, I have
before yeah whatever stories, Yeah, sometimes they fix it. I
used to get my makeup done at Belks for what
(11:10):
is exactly. It's like a department store, and they'd have
like a mean chances to go together and they'd have
like a little mac section that's where eat up chances.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
Face. She looks so good.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
I cannot look in like the ghost of Father's Past,
like a character out of Beetlejuice or Rocky Horror Show.
Speaker 2 (11:29):
Like I literally looked like is his name?
Speaker 1 (11:33):
Rocky went from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
Yeah, that's a good question. No Franking Furter.
Speaker 4 (11:39):
I looked like Frank and Furter's so beautiful, And I'm like,
I have to pay you seventy dollars or you have
you only have to buy one makeup product. That's why
they would do it for free, so I just buy
like a lipstick. It was kind of like a really
good deal to makeup us awful.
Speaker 3 (11:53):
That's so funny because wouldn't they either do I think
this is what you told me.
Speaker 1 (11:57):
Wouldn't they either do.
Speaker 3 (11:58):
Your foundation fourteen shades lighter or actually fourteen shades darker.
Speaker 2 (12:02):
And there was no one between, no one between.
Speaker 3 (12:05):
And don't you use that foundation to this day as
a contour.
Speaker 4 (12:09):
And it's like the darkest contour. I've actually had that
for like eight years. Been I've been using it for
so long. It's definitely expired. I mean, that's why I
break out.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
When I use it. But whatever.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
Yeah, it's like that weird thing where like I've known
how to do makeups since I was super young, because
I did dance and cheer obviously, and like I would
do all of my friend's makeup growing up. For some reason,
when I do my own makeup. It don't translate, it
don't click like nothing. Is actually more annoying to me
than when people are like, you like the fame with
that makeup.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Why would you tell me that?
Speaker 4 (12:38):
Because this makeup together cast least five hundred dollars worth
of products, So tanks to me that I look exactly
the same, because why I'm not wasting my time. People
think it's a compliment. No, I want to look different.
I want to be able to recognize me.
Speaker 1 (12:48):
You know, when people ask me like, oh, are you
wearing makeup?
Speaker 3 (12:50):
I'm like, obviously, you know I was born with the
cat I right, I woke up like this.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
No.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
No, Like when men are like, her makeup is still natural.
Maybe she has forty four millimeter latches on that ain't natural,
but you men are clueless.
Speaker 3 (13:08):
So it's also when men are like, oh, I just
love like a natural girl like no makeup. It's so
funny when men see no makeup, they see like everyday makeup.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Does that make sense?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (13:19):
Like women will be And I'm gonna tell you men
right now, most straight men, because some men actually have
taste and they can recognize stuff, but other men look, listen,
look and listen. Per My favorite murder is favorite quote.
When you are walking down the street and you see
a woman and you go, my god, you so naturally gorgeous.
I'm gonna just clue you in. She probably has her
lips done. She probably has botox, which is awesome, period
(13:42):
love it. I am so proper atalks, but I'm just
letting you know. Okay, no one is natural.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
I'm just letting you know.
Speaker 3 (13:48):
Yeah, and she probably has on makeup wise primary foundation, concealer,
contour blush, highlighter, because highlighter gives that glowy, little natural look, mascara,
her eyebrows are definitely micro bladed or done, and that
she definitely had her eye lashes like.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Curled and her lip gloss on. Like that is what
no makeup is to you.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
I'm just letting you know, Like when you see someone
on Instagram and oh my god, they're so natural. They
are face tuned, which is fine. It's just like you
have to be self aware about these things. Like obviously
I'm pro like editing your pictures.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
Do whatever you want.
Speaker 3 (14:20):
I edit my pictures, but just be aware. And this
is why Senny and I always talk about comparison. Is
the thief of joy whatever. You're like, oh my god,
they're so genetically blessed or so genetically but some people
are and some people are naturally gorgeous, like societally standard wise.
But when you look on someone's social media, for example,
it is a highlight reel, like these pictures have filters,
(14:40):
these pictures are edited, and like that's okay. You just
have to be self aware, and you have to be
aware of others doing it as well, because if you're not,
you're gonna be like, oh my god, it leaves you
feeling super lonely and ugly. And in reality, it's like, no,
everyone's just trying their best to like look like to
what does it be up to societal standards, that's all,
And it's fine.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
It's just you have to be in the No.
Speaker 2 (15:00):
Girls are like these are my this is my makeup routine,
and the girls.
Speaker 4 (15:02):
Are like naturally look like the most beautiful pestsman person ever.
They're like, I do one type of mascart and then
think one swipe of vasiline on my lips and then
I brush my hair.
Speaker 2 (15:12):
And it's not even like I feel jealous. I mean
I definitely do. I don't feeling I don't feeling I
hate it.
Speaker 4 (15:16):
I'm just like, wow, you're so bad about that's crazy,
that's fair. You're happy when you make up in the
morning like a princess go in the morning. I actually
looks like my whole face is swollen when I wake
up in the morning. I have bags. My bags have bags.
My bags are like a bag collection. It's not like
they're air Maize bags or like they're Orban Outfitters bags.
But it's not no matter how much sleep I get,
(15:39):
they'll never give away. And you know that's certainly like
I can't imagine myself without bags under my eyes.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
I don't know the last time I didn't have them.
Speaker 3 (15:46):
Well, you're that's okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's expected. But no,
it's crazy because that one not to like single anybody out,
but that one video that Haley Beaver did for Vogue,
when she showed her makeup routine, it's like, and I like, no,
I'm not even like I don't feel any certain type
of way about Hailey Beaber. I love Selena Gomez, but
that is beside the point. The point is is that
(16:08):
it was so funny when Haley went on Vogue and
was like, I for my makeup. Also, she does not
talk like this. I'm being facetious. I do one type
of concealer on my cheekbone and then I spot concilo
and I crow my lashes and I don't put mascara
and then I'm done.
Speaker 4 (16:26):
That's like if if like Vogue, you do not have
the Vogue fifty questions thing, and they like watch them
like wake up and like go through the morning routine.
If they ever saw mine, I think they actually be
concerned for me. It's like me sets fifteen alarms and
doesn't listen to any of them. Chance knocks on my
door at me, finally get up, me, get up, take
a shower, sit on the toilet for like thirty minutes,
(16:47):
going to TikTok do. I make up in four minutes
and run to classicals.
Speaker 2 (16:50):
I'm late. Like that's my morning routine every month.
Speaker 3 (16:52):
I also love those mine would be. I love those
like get up with me, like do my morning with me.
Because some girls live fake lives and this they could
be telling the truth.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (17:02):
I'm not saying they're out here being fake, but they
live fake lives, like just fake by definition. They get
They're like this is my five to nine before my
ninth to five, I get up at four point thirty
the ass crack of dawn, not even the light is
not even up yet. And I go to the gym
for four hours straight. Then I come home and I
do my skin carrot scene. Then I spend thirty minutes
(17:22):
making a chai latte. It makes me laugh, and I
love that, and I love that that works for you.
It's just so it's funny to me because it's so
out of my realm of possibility that to me, like
that is just a fake lives, do you know what
I mean?
Speaker 4 (17:35):
What makes me laugh about them is like I'll watch them,
but at some like when they like get out of
bed and they're like like, I guess woke up and
they get now they have to go sep thic camera
first in press record and then go get.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Back in bed. Yeah, And I saw Sterre I do
it once. They made me laugh so hard.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
I did do that once.
Speaker 3 (17:51):
That's the thing, apartment, And I can say that, like
I can make fun of you because I do the
same thing. Also the one speaking of Vogue, the one
fifty questions, like you go to the celebrity's house and
ask them questions.
Speaker 1 (18:03):
The one clip of.
Speaker 3 (18:05):
Them asking, I think it was Blake Lively, what's the
most important thing to you? And she goes to family
And then they asked the same thing to Kim Kardashian
and she.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Goes, oh, no, no, no. They go like, what's one thing
you can't live without?
Speaker 3 (18:15):
She goes, I can't one thing I can't live with
that is my KKW con doors stick.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
And I was like, you love a woman with her
business placement.
Speaker 3 (18:24):
It's so I mean, it makes me laugh every time,
and I mean, it's your truth, speak your truth. But
I'd be crying her, rying on the floor. How would
you answer that question?
Speaker 2 (18:36):
What question?
Speaker 1 (18:37):
What is one thing you can't live without?
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Oxygen? Netflix?
Speaker 4 (18:43):
Bitch?
Speaker 1 (18:43):
If you don't give an answer.
Speaker 2 (18:45):
Adrilla, Actually, for sure, I don't know. I was trying
to think. I was trying to think about this.
Speaker 4 (18:50):
Like someone was like telling, like, describe yourself and I
was like, uh, I really.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Know, Like what are your interest I.
Speaker 1 (18:58):
Was like, podcasting, you so many interested in law?
Speaker 3 (19:05):
You get the girls not in Are you not interested
in law?
Speaker 2 (19:09):
But people are like, I'm not. I loves to do
cycling and I like to run marathons. I'm like me,
not me.
Speaker 3 (19:16):
My hobbies are not necessarily healthy hobbies.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
That's just funny.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
It's like I love how people can be healthy and
actually like doing their healthy stuff. I'm healthy too, but
I don't like doing it. It's like my hobbies are, like,
what are my hobbies? My hobbies are singing, which isn't
inherently like healthy, but it's not unhealthy. It's just like
neutral singing, going out with my friends, going out to restaurants,
doing my makeup, and podcasting, you know, like not one
(19:42):
of those is like working out, rock climbing, riding horses,
does that?
Speaker 4 (19:46):
You know? Like that like eighth century like cycling and
like what what how do you get into that interest?
Speaker 2 (19:53):
I don't know. I guess you love personalities and I don't.
But whatever.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
The one thing I will say that it's even kind
of in that realm of I'm perfect land. One of
my hobby I love reading. I've really gotten back into
it with the books I read, though it's not necessarily.
Speaker 2 (20:09):
I actually love literature.
Speaker 4 (20:11):
Literature and question girl goes and gets kidnapped and falls
in love with her kidnapper.
Speaker 2 (20:16):
Those are the books that Sarrie.
Speaker 3 (20:19):
I can't even sit here and lie, it's true.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
No, it's true. Did you imagine stop stop shut up?
Speaker 3 (20:30):
Could you imagine being in a job interview and your
interview were being like, what's your favorite book?
Speaker 1 (20:35):
Am I being like haunting.
Speaker 4 (20:36):
At People always asked and I just say outlanders like
they're like what is that? And then I get to
explain and it takes up like Tim Mints in the
interview and I'm like, okay, good trying to go.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
I always just gave like a basic book. I'm like
Harry Potter, and they're like get out.
Speaker 3 (20:52):
Two questions in an interview always gets me. It's that
they're like what do you like? What are you reading
right now?
Speaker 1 (20:58):
Question?
Speaker 3 (20:59):
Because I do read read other things other than inappropriate
adult books that have to do with Stockholm syndrome, but
I just like cannot think.
Speaker 1 (21:05):
Of them at the moment, so that bugs me.
Speaker 4 (21:08):
And everware I read a scientific study about because sarahs
spairit thing to say is like, yeah, scientifically, and she'll
say something so random.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Girl, No, no I read in study.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
Sny's favorite thing to say now is when I whenever
I say, oh, you know, according to like scientifically objectively,
So he's like, cite the study, right, now, and I
can't do it.
Speaker 4 (21:27):
Literally because she'll be like I read this study once
and I was like, well, where did you.
Speaker 1 (21:29):
Read this study?
Speaker 4 (21:31):
It'll be the most random, it will be the most
random factor ever, I'm like, well, yeah, you read some
scientific study.
Speaker 1 (21:39):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (21:40):
So there's that question, and then there's the what are
your weakness's question, because it's so hard to border being
facetious and you can just like tell you're trying to
make yourself look impressive, but then there's actually citing your
literal weaknesses, which might turn the job off of you,
if that makes sense, or the interview or off of you.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
I always say somewhere like because like I used.
Speaker 3 (22:04):
To say, sometimes I take too much on my plate
and I get really overwhelmed with that. But that seems
like I'm pandering. So I think recently I've landed on
not that I'm interviewing. I'm in a stable job right now,
but I used to be like, I think I landed
on something like.
Speaker 1 (22:19):
Oh, I'm a little like to like I let others.
Speaker 3 (22:24):
Shine too much, and like I need to put myself
forward and like really take initiative in that way, because
like I am really proactive work wise, but like when
it comes to being like proud of myself and really
like making my accomplishes. Noticed, I like fall back a
little bit. Let others tend to like do that. So
I feel like that's a good answer, right.
Speaker 4 (22:40):
Yeah, And like that's the same thing is like I
love interviews and I love for its dates because I
just love talking. Then I realize was the interview good?
Was the date good?
Speaker 2 (22:52):
Or do I just think I'm really funny?
Speaker 1 (22:54):
Yeah?
Speaker 4 (22:55):
Personality higher, that's the question, because like I'll leave a
first date and be like, how are these men not
marrying me? Like I'm literally so funny entertaining, like I
would want to marry me.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
And then I'm like, wait, maybe.
Speaker 1 (23:10):
I always ate to Sydney.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
I can't picture her on a first date because I
know her so well that I can't picture meeting her
for the first time, let alone like romantically.
Speaker 2 (23:18):
If that makes sense, I cannot so blessing that people
only get once.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
Oh oh, let'sop it. Also, the way Cydny and I
met is so funny.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
For those of you who are at New I'm Sarah,
that's Sydney, and we met in line at.
Speaker 1 (23:33):
A party in college freshman year.
Speaker 3 (23:35):
So this is like what five and a half years
ago at this point, which is so crazy to think about.
Maybe five years on the dot, I think. And we
were waiting in line to go to the bathroom together,
and I was in front of her, she was right
behind me, and some guy who's very clearly inebriated comes
up and starts talking to both of us and flirting
with both of us, and we can't figure out which
one he's flirting with or if he's flirting with both
(23:55):
of us, and then he like indicated something a little
bit nast day, So sitting and I escaped to the
bathroom and we became best friends. In the bathroom, women
can pee together, stay together for life like that.
Speaker 2 (24:07):
That floor has never seen them mop before.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
It's like, do you remember. I remember that bathroom like
it was you.
Speaker 4 (24:11):
I remember it so vividly. It was so it was
like marble, like they came at the countertops. It was
so nasty and sticky, and.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
The shower was grown because the bathroom was so small.
Do you remember this That one of us had to
wait in the shower while the other person went And oh.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
My god, men are so funny. They had like three.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
And one shampoo like dandruff cream and then like no soap.
Speaker 2 (24:33):
I was like, what do you wash?
Speaker 4 (24:35):
I will see a man with the most beautifully soft,
supple skin and I'll be like, what's your skin caroutine?
And they're like, what's a skin caroutine? What do you
wash your face with? You're like, you have to wash
your face?
Speaker 2 (24:49):
Never mind.
Speaker 3 (24:51):
In the early stages of the podcast, any Ones made
a comment that was like, men don't wash their necks,
and that, to me was, I think the funniest thing.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
I've ever heard in my.
Speaker 4 (24:58):
Life, because why do you their next or the back
of their knees? You Like, the guy I'm seeing has
like a really really big beard, and I was like,
do you wash your beard like you wash your hair?
And he was like what, I like, is that a
weird question to ask?
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Actually?
Speaker 4 (25:14):
Just want to do you shampoo it? He was like
I don't know. I was like, okay, it's like a
like a big old lumper beard. The thing is like
I love the beard on him and like compliments his face.
But he was like, I think I'm gonna shave it
all off and like restart and I.
Speaker 1 (25:27):
Was like, I don't do that.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
Don't do that.
Speaker 3 (25:31):
No, no, no, no, it's like whenever men say they
get a haircut, I don't understand what it is with
like certain men's barbers, but they really don't like their clients.
Because sometimes I see men with haircuts and I'm like,
you know, they're so sexy without it, and they.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
Get in I'm like ah, And some men I'm like, please,
don't get a haircut, like, don't even care if it's bad,
do something new. But this guy, he's European, but he
gets like the black Man fade and it looks so
good on him, and I'm like, please gradu wisdom to
the other ones, because.
Speaker 1 (25:59):
When you do a fade, well, it looks so good.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Some people can't do so sexy choppy in a head.
Speaker 3 (26:07):
Yeah, well, some people think it's a fade and it's
not like a fade means fade. Some people just like
shave and then it's like all their hair. Does that
make sense? It's like you really thought you did something,
but you did not.
Speaker 1 (26:16):
Unfortunately, So we should talk about the topic now because
it's literally so per usual.
Speaker 3 (26:27):
Sidey and I have squandered away more than half of
the episode talking about nothing. I hope you guys liked it,
but we get honestly are all of our reviews are like,
can you and Sydney make all of your episodes the
first part where you just riff because that's like the
more funny part and like entertaining I guess, but I
feel like we do that anyway. So we're just gonna
keep doing what we're doing and hopefully you all stick around.
(26:50):
Our topic today is finding yourself slash.
Speaker 1 (26:53):
Have we found us yet?
Speaker 3 (26:56):
It's just about like this is more because the last
couple of episodes we did I've been about guys and relationships,
so we really wanted to focus our attention inwards this
episode and talk about like our progression, our mental health,
how we're doing in life in general, and this crazy
little concept of finding yourself because I personally don't think
I mean, I think your whether or not your brain
(27:18):
is fully developed, and not necessarily talking about childhood, puberty, adolescence.
I'm talking about growing as a person, like I think,
just because because your brain develops when you're twenty five
fully for most people, So I'm not even talking about that.
I'm just talking about like growing as a person in general.
Speaker 4 (27:34):
I feel like you never are really found, if that
makes sense, because like kind of like you were saying,
like things happen to you throughout your life that can
make you change, like the person that I am right
now versus the person I was senior year of college
versus freshman year of college versus high school, or like
completely different people, because I've had experiences and relationships and
(27:56):
friendships and just things throughout life that have changed my
view of things like the way I behave, the way
I act, or whatever.
Speaker 2 (28:03):
Because like.
Speaker 4 (28:06):
I wouldn't say, like, for example, like we were talking about,
if I'm introverted or extroverted, Like in high school I
was the most extroverted person ever. College, I was introverted.
Now I'm like somewhere in the middle. So I feel
like that's just like one example. But I think just
things like that change depending on your circumstances, on your surroundings,
on your environment or whatever. So I would not say
say that I've found myself, but I think I understand myself,
(28:29):
which I think is like a key difference because I
think throughout the last few years since like freshman year
of college, I've gone through some like super traumatic things
I've gone through, like breakups, I've gone through like really
difficult situations and I feel like throughout those I've learned
to understand myself better, just in the way that I've
healed from things, the way I think through things and
(28:49):
stuff like that. So I feel like through those experiences,
I wouldn't say I've found myself, just that I understand
the way I think, how I hurt, how I react
to things, and through knowing myself, I can like then
improve on things, get better at whatever you.
Speaker 1 (29:07):
Know, Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (29:09):
I think understanding yourself is a better way of looking
at it too, because college in high school, I feel like,
are some of the most formative years of people's lives.
And that's why I'm always like, when you get into relationship,
for example, in high school, I'm always a little bit
like what I mean. People do it and it works
for them and that's awesome, but for me, like being
(29:29):
in a relationship with your high school sweetheart, like throughout
that whole time, I'm like, that's great, But when did
you ever get the chance to actually like be single,
be with yourself, Like, do you know what I mean?
It just to me, it feels hard to understand how
you as a person have been able to develop so
fully and like you late with yourself at night? Do
you really like the person you are? It's like, how
(29:52):
did you? And if you do, that's great, but like
have you really gotten to know that person?
Speaker 2 (29:55):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (29:56):
That's just my opinion on things like I would never
do it, and people doing it works for them, that's great.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
It's just like thoughts on the situation.
Speaker 4 (30:01):
I think sometimes people like you have to be single
to understand yourself. I think that kind of gets like
lost in translation because I agree with that statement only
because like, for example, my last like long term relationship,
I feel like when you're with someone for that long,
like not part of the changes to be with him,
but like you adopt some of their personality traits. So
(30:22):
like for example, like I would know that he would
get super super angry about things, so I would subdue
my opinions, or like I knew that he found value
in me doing things to him, cooking him down, andy,
things like that, like things I wouldn't normally like consider
doing for a man, I would do excep I thought
that would appease him, Or like I would try myself
seem more like soft and docile than like, oh, we'll
(30:43):
do whatever, so I can try and pease like what
he wants to a relationship. And I feel like it
kept happening for so long that it became part of
my personality with him. But like once I left, guy
regained some of that like independence or being opinionated, or
like having thoughts. So I feel like I understand it
and that sense that like when you are with someone,
you do change a little bit, Like you adopt some
of them, they adopt some of you. I think that's
(31:05):
why people are like, oh, we like, where are the same?
Silver one and the same? I think it's a creepy
statement one, but to craise a little bit of truth,
I feel like people do change themselves when they're with
their partner. So I think being alone in that sense
is more so like you have no one to influence
your emotions or behavior.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
It's just you, you know.
Speaker 1 (31:22):
That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3 (31:23):
Because a relationship is all about give and take and sacrifice,
et cetera, et cetera, Like you do have to make
a lot of room in your life for the other person.
If you want to be in a healthy relationship, you
do have to give a lot of your time, attention, money, resources,
et cetera, brain space to that person that could be
used to find yourself and to like love yourself and
(31:44):
to grow individually as a person. So that's all I mean.
Like I see a lot of couples who have been
together for forever, and that's really great. Like I can't
emphasize that enough, but I just just like I don't
understand you.
Speaker 1 (31:57):
That's the thing.
Speaker 3 (31:57):
It's like, I know if I didn't have those for years,
I would not be anywhere where I am right now.
I would not be like I wouldn't have made as
much progress as I've made. I feel like I wouldn't
know myself quite as well as I do at the
moment because as my brain was developing, like your brain
is literally developing, like still in high school and in
grade school and in college and after college for like
two years. So it's like to me, I don't know,
(32:21):
I don't know, Like I just feel like when you're
that young, being single for an extended amount of time
at some point is really important.
Speaker 4 (32:28):
I was actually a donut in high school. I don't
stay with my high school boyfriend. I don't know what
i'd be doing in my life, Like I was actually
like a donut, So I don't know, like what brain
stunting I would have had if I'd stay with my
high school boyfriend, because like at that point, I.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Don't know what love was. I didn't seen relationships.
Speaker 4 (32:44):
I was like lah la la lah, Like boyships are
like HOSTI girl, Like, that's the only plaining reference that
I had, So I can't imagine kudos people who happened
in like twenty relationships from like the time they were eight.
I love that for you, but yeah, could not happen
to me until I forgot just changed so much, Like
I the person that I am today could have never
been with any of the people I've been with my
(33:04):
past besides you, but like long term wise, it wouldn't
have been compatible.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Agreed. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:10):
My boyfriend actually just got in a fight with one
of his friends about this recently because they were saying
how well Zach was saying how he prefers to be
like he when he looked at like his person or
his partner, like the person who wanted to be with
like long long term, he would prefer them have experienced,
like prior experience with other people like they. He would
have preferred them be in other relationships before him, just
(33:31):
so that like they know what they don't like what
they do like and they have kind of experience in
that sector. And I happen to agree. But one of
his friends was like, no, I don't think that's the case,
Like so what if you've never been in a relationship before,
And he was like, no, that's fine, just like like
I wouldn't be turned off or like I wouldn't turn
away from that. It's just like I like he prefers
someone who is a little more experienced, because that means
(33:53):
because think about it's like every relationship, no matter how
it ended as a learning experience, and like you are
with the person and you're learning, like what loved me?
Because remember like in my first relationship, which you just said, like,
I didn't know what the fuck love was. I didn't
know how to be a good partner. I was eighteen
years old, seventeen years old, sixteen. So it's like, I
think the fact that I do have, like I did
have three boyfriends before dating mine right now, and I
(34:16):
think like that helped me figure out what I wanted.
It's like being single was an integral part of my life.
But then also those past learning experiences, as fiery as
some of them ended, and as much as I, you know,
could sit here and joke like, oh, I you know,
wish I never dated anyone for him, It's not true
because I'm almost happy that I went through those experiences
because I feel like it made me a better partner today.
Speaker 4 (34:38):
Yeah, because I feel like your first I have relationship
you have is formative, but like hm hmm, I think
the first one is the most formative because like you
get out of that like puppy love view of like what.
Speaker 2 (34:48):
Relationship is like it's not always perfect, et cetera.
Speaker 4 (34:51):
So I feel like it's also a question for you,
like I don't know if I could beat with someone
who's never been a relationship before, like even on Love Island,
like Ty was like I'd never had a girlfriend for says,
I like the game too much immediate it couldn't do it.
So I'm not going to be your like puppy dog
guy or like I teach you how to be a boyfriend.
Speaker 3 (35:08):
You know, for me right now, as where I am
in my life, I am not ready to be a
mother and I did not sign up to be a
teacher or trainer like you just said. So it's like
I'm not going to baby you into teaching you how
to treat me, I kind of would prefer you already
have that experience and the knowledge and the emotional capacity
to know already how to do that. Like I expect
(35:29):
to tell you what I like, I expect you to
learn what I like. I expect you to want to
know what I like, and then I expect you to
try and make me happy in any way you can,
because I know that's what I'm going to do for you.
So if I'm over here with all my experience and
all my knowledge trying to like be the perfect girlfriend
and I'm not getting any of that back, no, that
that's a no go for me. So Actually, my most
recent ex, I was his first girlfriend. I feel like
(35:51):
I was in a place where I was willing to
teach and I was willing to be very patient.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
But right now I'm not in that place.
Speaker 3 (35:57):
I knew that after I broke up with my ex,
I would never date somebody else who had never dated
somebody in their past before. And as much as thinking
about my current boyfriend being with other girls makes me
want to like spoon out my eyeball and feed it
to him, like I yeah, Like I just know that
I would almost prefer that because I'm literally I did
not sign up to be a teacher. I don't care,
(36:18):
Like I'm not gonna sit here and waste time that
I would prefer to be making memories, Like I'm not
gonna waste that time trying to teach you how to
be a boyfriend.
Speaker 1 (36:28):
That is not I did not sign.
Speaker 3 (36:29):
Up for that, and I don't have the emotional capacity
for that right now, Like I don't have the patience
for that. My patience is all gone, and I just
kind of want to partner, not a puppy dog.
Speaker 4 (36:39):
That's my thing is Like I'm just not in the
headspace with like I want to teach you how to
respect me, how to treat me, et cetera. Because like
even with tyan Ella, like he would tell her to
shut up because she didn't want to talk about her feelings.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
She was upset and he was like, oh, sorry, she's
my first girlfriend.
Speaker 4 (36:52):
Uh okay, first, third, second, or fifth, Like, you don't
tell someone to shut out that you're gonna realationship with,
Like do don't talk to me that way?
Speaker 2 (36:58):
It's a respect thing.
Speaker 4 (36:59):
You don't like if you have to learn how to
respect someone because you never didn't like ship before. That's
says more about you and your character than does about
like being in a relationship.
Speaker 1 (37:07):
You know, so I agree.
Speaker 3 (37:09):
I remember this one argument I had with my ex
and he ended the argument saying we were in an
argument about something so stupid.
Speaker 1 (37:17):
Think we were talking about social justice. I don't even remember.
Speaker 3 (37:19):
I was giving my opinion on the subject, and he
looked at me and goes, don't think you're smarter than me,
because you're not. I got mad and he had no
idea why I was upset. That's the scary thing. A
scary thing is yeah, no, it's not. The first red
flag is that he said that because you should never demean, patronize, condescend,
(37:40):
or bully your partner, that is just a no go.
And I had to literally walk him through why that
was not okay, and he goes, oh, I was kidding.
I thought you knew that, Like, he didn't know why
I was upset, And I was like, you can't talk
to me like that, like even my friends. It's like
my friends and I have a certain way that we
joke with each other, Like me and you, for example,
we have a very demeaning not demeaning was the wrong word.
We have a very like playful like what's the right
(38:04):
word for it'sid It's like we like to poke each
other a lot. Yeah, yeah, Like we have a very
jesting sense of humor. But that's not necessarily the type
of humor I want my partner, you know what I mean.
It's like and you guys don't even speak to me
that way.
Speaker 1 (38:16):
That's the thing.
Speaker 3 (38:17):
It's like, if not only my friends, my family, Like,
if anybody spoke to me that way, it would not
be okay, but especially my partner, Like the guy I
thought I was gonna marry, absolutely not and he had
no idea why that was not okay. I was like,
it just that was the biggest red flag for me.
So that's just one situation where I knew. I was like,
if we ever break up in my next relationship, I
(38:38):
will not sit down and explain why name calling and
bullying in a relationship is not okay. I feel like
that is so much common sense that why don't you
have that? I feel like that's baseline, Like whether first
you're right, like about Tie from Love Violence season ten,
for a second third relationship, you don't name call that's
some kindergarten shit, you know, and I'm not gonna didn't
(38:59):
sign up to be teacher.
Speaker 4 (39:00):
I know, like my ex would be, he'd like say
the most awful things a person could say to someone
and be like, oh, you're so sensitive, I can iver
joit with you. You're not fun, okay, love insulting me
your way of having fun? Then, like I'm good rather
be bored, like I'm not engaging in that, you.
Speaker 3 (39:15):
Know, absolutely, And also another thing about relationships is and
this is just for me, I can speak for myself
around my partner. I want to feel a sense of
safety and security that I don't necessarily look for in
my friends and family, Like I love being made fun of,
like I like for my birthday, for my twenty third,
For my twenty third birthday, all I wanted was a roast,
Like I wanted my friends to get up and roast
(39:36):
to me because I love that shit. For my partner,
I don't necessarily want that same sense of humor, if
that makes sense. Like I want to feel a certain
level of safety around my man and maybe that I
don't know what that. Maybe that has something to do
with like I want a masculine force, Like I don't
know what that has to do with but that's just
the fact. It's like you can't necessarily joke around with
(39:56):
me the way my friends do. And in the case
of my ex, it's like my friend and family don't
even talk to me like that.
Speaker 1 (40:01):
They would never speak to me. They would never.
Speaker 3 (40:04):
Think that that is an acceptable thing to say. So
why did you? It's like that did not equate my brain.
Speaker 4 (40:09):
Yeah, And I feel like people take advantage of like
intimacy and thinking that's like a green flag or a
green light for them. It's to cross a line. And
it's not even like friends or a family, Like there's
like some binds I just would never cross with anyone,
you know, even like you were a chance to, like
I would say like literally anything to I would never
(40:30):
like make what anyone wants intelligence or like looks or
anything like that.
Speaker 1 (40:34):
I would never like touch exactly. Yeah, you never have.
Speaker 3 (40:37):
And I feel like that's a core thing with our
friend group is yeah, we joke with each other, but
we would never maliciously demean, patronized, condescend the other person. Especially.
I mean that's a huge line across. It's like looks
like I don't even know. It's like if you guys
can understand that you guys are my friends. It's like,
why can't my who I thought was going to be
(40:59):
my life partner understand that this like Twople's two equals Groundhog,
I don't understand. But going off of relationships for a second.
Speaker 2 (41:06):
Yeah, I have like an interlude.
Speaker 4 (41:07):
There's nothing to do what we're talking about, even though
we have not hosted the episode yet because I'm not
finished editing it. We ranted about I ranted about Hinge
in my last episode, and I think Hinge heard me
because the standouts today have been really standing out. Like
I had to go buy a few roses or something.
I was like, hm, hm come here, so thank you
crying in public. But yeah, I think also, like we
(41:30):
live in this so kind of like to pivot away
from relationships and more towards like career oriented stuff. I
was thinking about this yesterday, is like we live in
the hustle culture where like everything we do has to
be monetized. And I saw this tweet that was like,
if you monetize your hobby, be prepared to never enjoy
(41:51):
it again.
Speaker 2 (41:52):
But that's so true.
Speaker 4 (41:53):
The the reason why, like I didn't want to go
into the creative industry, like directly because I love writing,
I love screenwriting, I love television, I love films. So
I feel like if I took away the joy at it,
if by making get like my livelihood, I would never
feel that same passion towards it again, which is like
why I'm doing more.
Speaker 2 (42:11):
Of like the law side of entertainment.
Speaker 4 (42:15):
And I feel like it took me so many steps
to get to that place because like for so long,
I was like, on one hand, like and everyone be
kind of person that's like beholden to money, but like
just being realistic, Like one thing that was so important
to me growing up and like especially now is that
at no point in my life do I want to
be beholden to advance money. Like I don't want to
(42:38):
have to stay in a marriage or relationship or move
or change shops because like a man's making more money
than me, and like I need that to survive. Like
I want to be able to be fully autonomous and
independent and have like my own things for me, just
like for protection reasons, and so like when it came
to like having a career, I need I did something
that was not only stable but like could afford me
(43:01):
like that kind of lifestyle, like I can just fully
depend upon myself and myself only, and I knew that
like going into film and TV, like, well, yes, you
can make a lot of money, like it touched like
a herd industry to like quote unquote make it in.
And I feel like, even like with the strike right now,
you see like so many things aren't guaranteed, like it's
not necessarily stable. So when I chose to do law instead,
(43:24):
like I had always had lots going back in my
mind because like I love to argue, I'd love to
really love to write, and like people always told me,
I should.
Speaker 2 (43:29):
Be layer when I grew up. So I think finding
a way to like.
Speaker 4 (43:34):
Converge those interests while keeping like things that are important
to me in my mind, like being able to like
move upwards in the latter, I don't want to be
in the same position in my whole life, or like
to be able to diversify my work so I'll get
bored do something creative to have like reading writing is
a part of my job, be able to move like
those are all things that were important to me, and
(43:56):
finding a career. So I think like being able to
kind of piece together all of those things in like
five something that made sense for me did take a
long time because like if you had asked me before
junior year of college, like what I wanted to do,
I really wouldn't be able to tell you. So I
feel like it is a path to finding what you
want to do. And like so many people change their
careers like last minute by last minute, I mean, like
(44:18):
in their fifties, sixties, forties, just to like try something
and you'd end up being like incredible at it. So
I feel like there is no like set path. This's
to like how you should figure out what you want
to do with your life, especially with like like social
media jobs, for example, we're not a thing until five
years ago, you know, like people's entire careers that are
like based off of like creative design and like graphic design,
(44:38):
Like a lot of those jobs didn't even exist until
technology existed to make them a job. So I feel
like what we could be doing in ten years might
not even exist yet, you know. So I didn't keep
that in mind, that like you don't have to have
everything figured out in terms of like your career straight
out of college or high school.
Speaker 3 (44:53):
And that's hard too because I remember, at least in
my high school experience junior and senior year, the high
school counselors desperate to sit us all down and get
a very clear answer of what we wanted to do.
And half the girls in my great because I went
to an all girls school, half the girls in my
grade were like, what is going on? I understand wanting
to have a conversation, but it's almost like they wanted
an absolute, definitive answer. I just think that's crazy, and
(45:15):
it puts a lot of pressure.
Speaker 1 (45:16):
On young people.
Speaker 3 (45:18):
Also, going back to what you first said, I always have,
at least getting out of high school, have lived by
this mantra. It's love your passions like your job, if
that makes sense. So it's like, obviously you can still
be passionate about stuff you like, but your hobbies, like
the things that make you tick. At least for me,
basing my rent, food, utilities, and lifestyle in general on
(45:42):
those things put so much pressure on them that I
started to not like them anymore. So like musical theater,
for example, that was the case in my opinion, and
I've already talked about that a lot. Like my journey
from choosing a creative profession to leaning more towards business marketing,
et cetera. But all I have to say say is
that I love what I do, but I know what
(46:03):
I'm passionate about, and.
Speaker 1 (46:04):
I really do like to keep those things separate.
Speaker 4 (46:06):
Oh.
Speaker 3 (46:06):
Also, that's another thing, is you know we always say comparison.
Speaker 1 (46:09):
Is the thief of joy, Like.
Speaker 3 (46:12):
You are on your own individual path, and I know
it's really hard to not like look at your friends
and be like, oh my god, they're making so much
more money, or oh my god, their job is so
much easier, Oh my god, they're getting.
Speaker 1 (46:20):
Paid or whatever.
Speaker 3 (46:21):
I think it's really easy to do that, and it
does take a lot of mental work to be like
why would I want to be on somebody else's journey?
Like my journey is so special? And I know I'm
getting like spiritual or like deep or whatever, but my
journey is so special and I am my own person
and I love who I am, So it's like, why
would I want somebody else's Like that's great for them,
and I can be happy for them, but I want
(46:42):
what's best for me, and like what they're doing might
not be what's best for me. And so I think
that that's a really hard thing to learn. And I
would just say like, be happy for your friends, be
happy for your family, be happy for people around you,
your partner, et cetera, who are doing big things in
their life, because there is room for everybody at the top.
And yeah, oh my gosh, am i oprah.
Speaker 4 (47:02):
I'm gonna say period, but my voice is so gravelly
right now that I'm gonna shut up.
Speaker 1 (47:07):
All right, you guys, that is our time. As always.
Speaker 3 (47:09):
You can follow us on Instagram at Crying in Public
Podcast and you can listen to us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks for listening.
Speaker 1 (47:16):
We love you. Audios ye
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