Daily Dad Jokes (11 Mar 2024)
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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes. Joke credits: mal221, TRAKRACER, Rai-27, iShitSkittles, lambo1722, Winterwoollies, WTFaulknerinCA, natpatel01, zanderson692369, EndersGame_Reviewer, Mother-bear22, , Man-e-questions, angelking14, Genuine-Tigress25, Upvoter_NeverDie, berkleysquare, tralfamadore_smplton, headexpl0dy, SophieByers, sulldanivan, razor10000, paulvs88, Trickypat42, locosfgfan, Paskyc, sulldanivan, Significant-Ad-8684
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Episode Transcript
My grandfather always wore den him, as did my father,
and so do. I must be something in the jens.
Speaker 2 (00:10):
What do you call a camel without any humps? Humphrey.
Speaker 1 (00:15):
We all know that Switzerland's flag is a big plus,
but I personally think that George's flag also has a
lot of pluses in different areas.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
What is the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One will see you later and the other will see
you in a while.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Benjamin Franklin was credited with discovering electricity. More power to him.
I'm sure he was amped at the discovery.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
At a wedding reception, the best man announced, everyone stand
next to the person who is major life worth living.
The bartender was nearly crushed.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
I feel weird about magnets. I find them both attractive
and repulsive.
Speaker 2 (00:54):
My nuthosaurus is terrible. Not only that, but it's also terrible.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
What do you call it when a duck steals a car?
A quacker? Jeck.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
I taught my kid to speed read today. He read
Harry Potter and The Philosopher's Stone in three hours. I
know it is only six words, but it's a start.
Speaker 1 (01:14):
Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory.
They took a day off. We'll resume the fun and laughs.
Right after this message.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
My algebra teacher said, we won't be using variables in
any math problems this semester. We all sat in class expressionless.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
How do you know when an octopus egg is about
to hatch? It starts kracking?
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Why did the man put his money in the freezer
he wanted cold, hard cash.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
There is a deep gorge in Russian named after a
famous king. It's called the zarcasm.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
I've just finished building a car out of washing machine parts.
I'm taking it for a spin tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
I invest way too much time watching a quiz show.
You my life is in jeopardy.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
What is a composer's favorite vegetable? Back?
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Choi brand muffins are never on sale, They're always the
regular price.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
What do wrestlers use to climb buildings grappling hucks?
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Where do most people that can't control their bladder live
in continents?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
What do you call a mortuary that operates on a
first come, first serve basis stiff competition?
Speaker 1 (02:29):
What number of royalty should refrain from using heavy machinery
prince valium.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
What do you call a cucumber that skulks around in
the dark, a lurkin girkin.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
I sued a longshoreman and the case was put on
the docket. He asked for a jury of his peers.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
My French girlfriend came to visit me in the USA
for the first time. She asked me why many road
signs mentioned pigs. I told her the signs said caution.
I'm Bob Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones. Stay tuned until
the end of the episode for a bonus dad joke.
Our goal is to spread joy or cringes to the world.
(03:08):
Share the humor with your.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Family and friends. Have a good night, and I'll see
you again tomorrow. Thank you for tuning in. For those
with an interest in the business and finance sector, then
listen to The Daily Business and Finance Show podcast. The
(03:30):
show provides a concise, yet comprehensive summary of the day's
significant economic events in five minute, byte sized episodes. Listen
on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartMedia, or on your favorite podcast app.
Search for The Daily Business and Finance Show in your
podcast app, or check the show notes page for the link.
(03:53):
The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios
See the show notes page for social media links and
your credits. Check out our other podcasts and our network
at classicstudios dot com. How does a magician keep track
of the tricks to do in his act? A todd
to list
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