Daily Dad Jokes (02 May 2024)
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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes. Joke credits: rszim94, porichoygupto, jezzter88, HGBells, WhatTheFlutter, DinglebarryHandpump, incredibleinkpen, 3174N, glyph-bellchime, Itamarep, TheQuietKid22, TooToughYT, , athei-nerd, porichoygupto, ztreHdrahciR, ngairejasminbarrett, Electrical-Ad-4889, wimpykidfan37, whispermaw, JCokeDaKilla, RSD1982, Your_Enabler, albertchessaofficial, borisssssssssssssss, glnb20, PiggyTheSensei, PalOfKalEl, King_Arthur24
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Episode Transcript
I've been trying to think of ten Harry Potter jokes,
but I could only think of nine and three quarters.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
I found the first four Harry Potter books to be
quite lighthearted. The fifth one was dead serious.
Speaker 1 (00:23):
Just watched all the Harry Potter movies back to back
with a friend. Stupid, really, because it meant I couldn't
see the TV.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
Harry Potter can't tell the difference between his cooking pot
and his best mate. They're both cauldron.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
How does Harry Potter cut his sandwiches diagonally?
Speaker 2 (01:01):
What did Harry Potter say when he was filling up
his car expensive petroleum?
Speaker 1 (01:13):
My wife said, you wanted to watch Harry Potter upstairs
in our bedroom? What the heck is he doing in
our bedroom?
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Harry Potter could be a great mafia boss. He always
catches the snitch.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
I like the Harry Potter books and movies, but I
feel like the character of nearly Headless Nick was a
bit poorly executed.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
I don't understand the buzz around Harry Potter. Pottery is
enjoyed by many people.
Speaker 1 (01:54):
Why does Voldemort from Harry Potter prefer Twitter to Facebook
because he only has follow us, not friends.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
What would Hagrid say, if Harry Potter was a cowboy,
you're a dirty Harry.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Just a moment away for more dad jokes right after
this brief pause. How does Harry Potter get rid of
a rash with Quidditch?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I taught my kids speed reading, and I'm proud to
say that he managed to finish Harry Potter and the
Philosopher's Stone in an hour and a half. I know
it's only six words, but it's a start.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
How did Harry Potter end up on the set of
Family Guy? He went through the Griffin door.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
If you want to flirt with a Harry Potter fan,
just slither into their dms.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
How did Harry and Hermione get down the hill dumbling Down?
Speaker 2 (03:12):
I have a friend who is obsessed with Wonder Woman
Princess Leah and Hermione Granger memorabilia. I think he's a
heroin addict.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
A video game about a Weasley atoning for their sins.
Call it Redhead Redemption.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
How do you get to the weight room at Hogwarts
through the dumbbell door?
Speaker 1 (03:43):
What do Hogwarts students do in gym exercise?
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Voldemort is just like a teenage girl. He has a tiara,
a mood ring, a special locket and an unhealthy infatuation
with a famous teenage boy.
Speaker 1 (04:05):
What kind of headphones does Voldemort use? Nose canceling?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
What does a Voldemort cosplay party look like? Nobody knows?
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Why would Voldemort be a good hire in an IT company?
He knows Python very well.
Speaker 2 (04:34):
What does Voldemort hate the most when someone cut the
line in front of his nose?
Speaker 1 (04:44):
Did you hear that Harry Potter was jumped, beaten up
and robbed of his magical powers? Yeah, he got muggled.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
I'm thinking of marrying my quidditch playing girlfriend.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
She's a keeper.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
I'm Bob Jaffee.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
And I'm Montgomery Jones. And that's the top Dad jokes
for Harry Potter Day. We're on a mission to spread
the laughs and groans far and wide, so please do
us a favorite and share just one of these jokes
with your family and friends today. Thanks. Want the perfect
(05:34):
dad gift, We have the official Daily Dad Jokes podcast
joke button, now available on Amazon, a massive five hundred
preloaded dad jokes guaranteed to make you laugh and grown.
And for our loyal fans, use the checkout discount code
Dad Jokes to receive twenty five percent off the regular
listing price. Check the show notes page for the link.
(05:58):
The Daily Dad Jokes podcast test is produced by Classic Studios.
See the show notes page for social media links and
Joe credits. This show was recorded in front of a
canned studio audience
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