Daily Dad Jokes (15 May 2024)
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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes. Joke credits: ilikesidehugs, TheQuietKid22, Aggravating-Wind-230, Cartmansimon, go_zarian, Easy-Cardiologist555, Jonestown89, Personal-Tea7226, EndersGame_Reviewer, Lotsamoxie, Thaddy-o, Jonestown89, , TheQuietKid22, M00nStalker, Shot_Occasion4294, Thaddy-o, Gildagert, ad-on-is, God-2008, marimuthu96
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Episode Transcript
Yesterday I bought my wife a rugg that ritt an
oystay in it? And today I picked up another one
that says why mate kamanine? She said that was enough
accent rugs for now.
Speaker 2 (00:17):
Did you hear about the man who only paid five
cents for a prosthetic eye? His name was Nikolai?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Why can't a bicycle stand on its own because it's
too tired?
Speaker 2 (00:34):
When is it time to stop telling dad jokes when
your children grown.
Speaker 1 (00:43):
My dear old grandpa was credited for bringing down thirty
five German planes during World War Two. He is still
considered the worst mechanic in the history of the Luftwaffe.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Why will you never starve in the desert because of
all the sand which is around you?
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Have you seen the movie Constipation? No, that's because it
hasn't come out yet.
Speaker 2 (01:19):
I phoned my boss and said, I'm really tired. Can
I just go back to bed instead of coming into work?
Dream on? He said, which I thought was very nice
of him. So I went back to bed.
Speaker 1 (01:35):
Scientists often say we should question everything.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Why did you hear about the two bookworms? On their
twenty fifth anniversary, they went to the library and renewed
their vowels.
Speaker 1 (02:00):
Me and my wife were happy for twenty three years,
and then we met.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Have you seen that new movie called The Tractor? I've
only seen the trailer. More dad humor awaits. Right after
this short break, I woke up to find my mustache
was missing this morning. Someone must have stolen it right
under my nose. What are bank vaults called in Thailand? Batroums?
Speaker 1 (02:40):
What are delivery driver's favorite type of footwear vans?
Speaker 2 (02:51):
What do you call a band of Midwestern drug addicts
Methane's child?
Speaker 1 (02:58):
The quality of vacuum cleaners is horrible? The all sick.
Speaker 2 (03:08):
My wife found a spider in our house and told
me to take it out, so I did. We had
a few drinks. Pretty nice guy.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Which board can open lockers and indoors? A keyboard? I'm
Bob Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones.
Speaker 2 (03:29):
Stick around for a bonus dad joke. Don't forget to
share the jokes with your family and friends. Have a
great night, and I'll see you tomorrow. Thank you for listening.
Looking for more dad joke humor to share, then subscribe
to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly roundup
(03:51):
of the best dad jokes memes and humor for you
to enjoy. Spread the laughs and groans and sign up today.
Check the sign up link in the show notes page
or visit Daily dadjokespodcast dot com. The Daily Dad Jokes
podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes
page for social media links and joke credits. This show
(04:12):
was recorded in front of a can studio audience. I
found a book named How to Solve Fifty Percent of
Your Problems, so I brought to
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