My girlfriend told me that if i make one more joke about numbers we're not going to be a couple anymore . (+ 19 more dad jokes!)

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
My girlfriend told me that if I make one more
joke about numbers, we're not going to be a couple anymore.
I said, pair enough.

Speaker 2 (00:15):
My wife said, if I told one more joke about fruits,
she was going to kick me out of the house.
But where does a mango from here?

Speaker 1 (00:24):
I got pulled over by the cops the other day.
They asked me if I had a police record. I
don't think Roxanne was what they were looking for.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
Why couldn't the policeman get out of bed he was
an undercover cop.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
What are Cannibal's favorite weekend breakfast French toes?

Speaker 2 (00:57):
I got arrested for illegally downloading the entire way Wikipedia.
Fortunately I could explain everything I want to hear a
joke about time travel. Never mind, you didn't like it.

(01:20):
My wife asked me how preparing the cheese was going.
I said, it's great.

Speaker 1 (01:28):
Which US president never committed any crimes Abraham Lincoln because
he was always in a sin.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
If you want to put extra muscle on your lower legs,
make sure you drink milk. It's been shown to be
the best thing for growing calves.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
I wanted to tell a joke about landscaping, but I
couldn't come up with mulch.

Speaker 2 (02:04):
Why did the fish blush because it saw the ocean's bottom.

Speaker 1 (02:11):
We'll continue with more Dad humor after this quick pause.
My wife Nancy said that I better not make any
more jokes about the economy, So I said, that's finance.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
Why do truckers know so much about movies? They watched
trailers all day?

Speaker 1 (02:39):
What did one hat say to the other? You stay here,
I'll go on ahead.

Speaker 2 (02:49):
I gave my ev the name Charles. When it's plugged,
and I can say Charles is in charge.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
Beavers can be so inconsiderate at times. They really don't
give a damn.

Speaker 2 (03:09):
My subtraction jokes are gaining a lot of popularity. They're
really making a difference.

Speaker 1 (03:19):
Guess how I lost a stone in just two days?
It must have filled out of my pocket. I'm Bob
Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones. Stick around for a bonus
Dad joke. Don't forget to share the jokes with your

(03:41):
family and friends. Have a great night, and I'll see
you tomorrow. Thank you for listening. Want the perfect dad gift?
We have the official Daily Dad Jokes Joke button, now
available on Amazon. A massive five hundred preloader Dad Jokes
guaranteed to make you laugh and groan, and for our

(04:03):
loyal fans, use the checkout discount code dad Jokes to
receive twenty five percent off the regular listing price. Check
the show notes page for the link. The Daily Dad
Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show
notes page for social media links and joke credits. This
show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience.

(04:26):
How is arguing with a woman like reading a software
license agreement? In the end, you ignore it all and
click I agree.

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Daily Dad Jokes (19 Apr 2024)

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}My girlfriend told me that if i make one more joke about numbers we're not going to be a couple anymore . (+ 19 more dad jokes!)