Daily Dad Jokes (30 Aug 2023)
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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes.
Joke credits: KlutzyDistribution75, Toku-Nation, Urmom_deez7, SamwiselovesMithril, Nervous_Resort5188, Starfreak900, DarlingLee, EndersGame_Reviewer, kevindavis338, gimp1615, mysterymayoman, Ahuva, rainblade1980, ShredderSte, brewchicken, Cameysaurus_23, Major_Independence82, bonesbrigade, s0apyjam, Oz_Thyme, Jester57, .css-j9qmi7{display:-webkit-box;display:-webkit-flex;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-webkit-flex-direction:row;-ms-flex-direction:row;flex-direction:row;font-weight:700;margin-bottom:1rem;margin-top:2.8rem;width:100%;-webkit-box-pack:start;-ms-flex-pack:start;-webkit-justify-content:start;justify-content:start;padding-left:5rem;}@media only screen and (max-width: 599px){.css-j9qmi7{padding-left:0;-webkit-box-pack:center;-ms-flex-pack:center;-webkit-justify-content:center;justify-content:center;}}.css-j9qmi7 svg{fill:#27292D;}.css-j9qmi7 .eagfbvw0{-webkit-align-items:center;-webkit-box-align:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;color:#27292D;}
Episode Transcript
I was walking barefoot on the beach and stepped on
a rusty piece from an old video game. Now I
have to get a Tetris shot.
Speaker 2 (00:16):
What do you call it when you drop a waffle
on the beach? San Diego?
Speaker 1 (00:23):
What did the ocean say to the beach Nothing? It
just waved?
Speaker 2 (00:32):
What washes up on tiny beaches? Microwaves.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
I tried to start a beach footwear business for one
legged people. It was a flop.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Saw this guy at the beach with a giant back
piece that said sign over co sign. I said, nice,
tan bro.
Speaker 1 (01:06):
What did Obama see when he dropped his sea shill
at the beach? Oh? No, Michel.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
What did the beach say as the tide came in?
Long time? No? See?
Speaker 1 (01:29):
I saw a guy at the beach yielding help, shark Help.
I just laughed. I knew the shark wasn't going to
help him.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
My oldest boy insulted me while we were at the beach.
It was a bad sunburned.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
What makes the waves so high at the beach? The seaweed.
Speaker 2 (02:01):
My son blowing up a beach ball says, as soon
as I am done, I'm going to catch my breath.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
What do you call a witch that goes to the
beach but doesn't go into the water. A chicken sandwich.
The beach boys walk into a bar. Round, round, get around,
I'll get around. What did the minnonite woman put on
(02:32):
when she came to the beach in a bikini? Shun's green.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
I took my friend to the beach, but they were
afraid of the ocean. So this is what I told them.
Everything will be fine, I'm sure of it.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
My wife refused to go to the nude beach. She's
closed minded.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
My friend opened a store for beach camping supplies. It
was called for all intents and porpoises.
Speaker 1 (03:13):
Why do more crimes happen on clean beaches because the
coast is clear.
Speaker 2 (03:23):
A woman's walking down the beach and she notices a
man lying in the sun with a plastic skeleton on him.
She walks over and asks him, what are you doing?
He replies, I'm getting a skeleton.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
I once had a girlfriend from Barcelona who constantly talked
about the nude beaches in Spain. She wouldn't go to one, though.
That surprised me and probably would surprise anyone, because no
one expects the Spanish inhibition.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
I spent all day at the beach digging for clam
I had to stop after I pulled a few muscles.
Speaker 1 (04:08):
My wife said she feels like life has no meaning,
so I told her we could go to the beach
and look for dolphins in the waves. I hope she
finds some porpoise.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
Have you heard about the guy who used to star
in action movies but nowadays he just eats garbage and
hangs out by the beach. His name is Stephen Seagull.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Why weren't the elephants allowed on the beach because they
couldn't keep their trunks up.
Speaker 2 (04:45):
I went to a strange beach today and nobody was
wearing a bathing suit. It was all new to me.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
A hole has been discovered in the fence around a
nudist beach. Polisa look looking into it.
Speaker 2 (05:06):
What do politics and people who like campfires on beaches
have in common? Bernie Sanders?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
How do you know if a beach is awake if
it is conscious?
Speaker 2 (05:25):
Did I ever tell you that I wanted to go
to the beach and swim around wearing a shark fin
because every girl is crazy about a shark dressed man.
Speaker 1 (05:38):
What do you call a french man walking on the
beach Philippe Philippi.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Back in the nineties, I spent time on the set
of Baywatch messing with a character named Mitch Buchanan. I
got pulled off the set and arrested the same night.
Turns out it's illegal to Hasselhoff.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
The mayor of Jaws is the same mayor in Jaws
two goes to show that it's important to vote in elections.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
Did you know the girl eaten by the shark and
jaw said dandruff Her head and shoulders washed up on
the beach.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
What's berry Manilo's favorite fruit flavored beverage, Coca Banana?
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Why did Columbus cross the ocean to get to the
other tide?
Speaker 1 (06:45):
Did you hear about the new Bikini documentary? It's a
two part series that's quite revealing.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
When wearing a bikini, women reveal ninety percent of their body.
Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
Speaker 1 (07:14):
What does the chillo wear it to the beach? A
string bikini?
Speaker 2 (07:24):
I was the only one to forget to bring sunscreen
to the beach, and everyone else just kept rubbing it in.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Why did they stop selling Steve or when brand sunscreen?
It wasn't blocking the harmful raise.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
My kid got sunburned on only one of their butt cheeks.
My wife said, I did a half assed job applying sunscreen.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
I told my daughter she could get the tie times
in the newspaper, which section current events.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
How do seashells hide from predators? Camouflage?
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Sally sells sea shills by the seashore and makes no
money because her inventory is everywhere. I'm Bob Jeffy, and
I'm Montgomery Jones, and that's the sun filled dad jokes
for National Beach Day. We're on a mission to spread
the laughs and groans far and wide, so please do
(08:35):
us a favor and share just one of these jokes
with your family and friends.
Speaker 2 (08:38):
Thanks. Looking for more dad joke humor to share, then
subscribe to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly
roundup of the best dad jokes, memes and humor for
you to enjoy. Spread the laughs and groans and sign
up today. Check sign up link in the show notes
(09:01):
page or visit Daily dadjokespodcast dot com.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Do you have your own dad joke you want to share?
Join the hundreds of listeners who have submitted their own
dad jokes through our voicemail. Please spread the laughs and
groans and submit your own dad joke to our voicemail
with the best ones to be included in special fan episodes.
Just leave your name, the city and state you live in,
and your best dad joke. Call nine seven eight three
(09:28):
nine three one zero seven six. I'll repeat that number.
It's nine seven eight three nine three one zero seven six,
or check the show notes page for the number we
look forward to hearing from you.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios.
See the show notes page for social media links and
joke credits. This show was recorded in front of a
canned studio audience YEP
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