Daily Dad Jokes (16 May 2024)
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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes. Joke credits: AmethystMonkey, BitchCassidy13, SkyTheShyGuy, CRTScream, TheGreatNoSugarKing, porichoygupto, porichoygupto, InfamousJoker420, EndersGame_Reviewer, WorstGamr, EndersGame_Reviewer, lanesta202, , EndersGame_Reviewer, dubaidadjokes, dubaidadjokes, mtttm, EndersGame_Reviewer, porichoygupto, sulldanivan, stereoroid, Tuckboi69, EndersGame_Reviewer, Majorpain2006, jackbequikk, johnnydarko-, IllBill1924, ilikesidehugs, SND_731, SergeantSweetLips, Fina
Episode Transcript
Why would Rick Astley make a terrible waiter? He would
never deserve you.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
A waiter asked me, how do you like your steak? Sir?
I replied, like winning an argument with my wife. He
then said, I get it where it is.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
People think being a waiter isn't a respectable job, but hey,
it puts food on the table.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Why are Russian waiters good? They usually Serbia pretty fast.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.
Speaker 2 (00:55):
Right after we sat down for dinner, the waiter said,
would you like to hear today's special? I said yes, please, thanks.
The waiter responded, today is special.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
My waiter warned me be careful, the plate is really hot.
I said, no worries. I'm not really attracted to plates.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
The waiter came up and said, do you want to
box for the leftovers? I said no, but I'll wrestle
you for it.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
Waiter, waiter, this soup tastes funny, then, why aren't you laughing?
When you're waiting for the waiter, you become the waiter. Waiter, waiter,
(01:56):
what's this? It's called a tomato surprise. I can't see
any tomatoes. Yes, that's the surprise.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
Why aren't cow's waiters. They hate being tipped.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Laughter continues shortly after this brief ad break. Waiter, this
egg is bad. Don't blame me. I only laid the table.
Speaker 2 (02:30):
I interviewed a waiter today. I asked him what he
brings to the table.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
The waiter said, they're out of toothpicks. I told him,
I'd like toothpick to the manager.
Speaker 2 (02:51):
Waiter, tell me about this Indian flatbread appetizer.
Speaker 1 (02:55):
It's a non starter, waiter. Waiter, why is there a
dead flying in my soup? I'd say it was the
hot water that killed it.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
I'm glad you enjoyed your dinner. How did you find
the steak super easy? It was right next to the potatoes.
Speaker 1 (03:20):
What else could go wrong? I went to a restaurant
with a robot waiter. The server was down.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
I went out to dinner last night and the waiter
was incredibly clumsy. At least the whole meal was on
the house.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
A dad walks into a restaurant. The waiter asks, do
you want a table or a booth? The dad replies, no, thanks,
I want a cheeseburger and fries.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Waiter, waiter, do you have frog's legs? No, sir, I've
always walked like.
Speaker 1 (04:02):
This, waiter, What is this stuff? It's bean soup, sir,
But what is it now?
Speaker 2 (04:18):
A group of Karens are sitting at a restaurant together.
A waiter approaches and asks, is anything okay?
Speaker 1 (04:34):
Waiter? This coffee tastes like mud? Yes, sir, it's fresh round, waiter. Waiter,
there's a spider playing football in my saucer, yes, sir,
and tomorrow he'll be playing in the cup. Our waiter
(05:01):
at brunch today was a war veteran. I didn't know
when to thank him for his service.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
A waiter says to the customer, are you finished? Customer responds, no,
I am Dutch.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
What do you call it when a robot waiter makes
a mistake? Server error?
Speaker 2 (05:27):
I was at a restaurant with my wife when a
waitress suddenly screamed, does anyone know CPR? I shouted, even better,
I know the whole alphabet. Everyone laughed, well, everyone except
this one guy.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
While at a restaurant, the waitress was totally flirting with
me with my wife. Prison After she walked away, my
wife said, she obviously as COVID. Why would you think that,
I asked, because she has no taste.
Speaker 2 (06:05):
The waitress came over and saw my leftovers and asked,
do you want a box for that? I responded with no,
but we can arm wrestle any day.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
The sign said to tip my server, so I did
and she fell over it.
Speaker 2 (06:35):
Server asked me if I wanted my margarita on the rocks.
I said, no, thanks, you can just put it on
the table.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
They're demoting me from food server to host starting Monday.
I can't wait.
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Why did the egg tip the waiter because the food
was excellent. I'm Bob Jeffe and.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
I'm Montgomery Jones and that's the top Dad jokes for
National Waiters Day. We're on a mission to spread the
laughs and groans far and wide, so please do us
a favorite and share just one of these jokes with
your family and friends today. Thanks. Want the perfect dad gift,
(07:26):
we have the official Daily Dad Jokes podcast joke button,
now available on Amazon, a massive five hundred preloaded dad
jokes guaranteed to make you laugh and grown. And for
our loyal fans, use the checkout discount code Dad Jokes
to receive twenty five percent off the regular listing price.
Check the show notes page for the link The Daily
(07:50):
Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the
show notes page for social media links and Joe credits.
This show was recorded in front of a cann Studio audience.
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