Schrodinger brought his cat to the vet. (+ 18 more dad jokes!)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
I bought a universal remote. This changes everything.

Speaker 2 (00:12):
My daughter was upset she didn't know the opposite of armageddon.
I said, don't worry, it's not the end of the world.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
People usually get shocked when they find out I'm not
a very good electrician.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
I'm launching another series of books aimed at kids. Maybe
this time I'll hit a few. What do you call
bears with no ears? B What did the dog say
after it sat on sandpaper? Rough?

Speaker 1 (00:57):
All of my socks have holes in them. I've heard
will see that's a problem, But I don't know how
i'd get my feet in them otherwise.

Speaker 2 (01:10):
I got hit in the head by a can of soda.
Luckily it was a soft drink. What is a lawyer's
favorite drink? Subpoena colada? Who is the highest ranking officer
at tax time? General Sales Tax?

Speaker 1 (01:36):
What is made of leather and sounds like a sneeze
a shoe?

Speaker 2 (01:50):
When I was a kid, my parents made me carry
soda cans in my backpack all the time. They said
they were just trying to keep tabs on me.

Speaker 1 (02:03):
More dad jokes are coming up after this quick break.
My parents raised me as an only child. My sister
is still really upset about it.

Speaker 2 (02:17):
Schrodinger brought his cat to the vet. The vet says,
I have good news, and I have bad news.

Speaker 1 (02:28):
I was out hiking yesterday when all of a sudden,
a large pack of what looked like large wild dogs
came stampeding out of the forest and knocked me down
and trampled me. I was raised by wolves.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
When I heard that the twenty twenty four USA Track
and Field team was abandoning the selection process for their
athletes and would instead send everyone who wanted to compete,
I was filled with patriotic pride. These runners don't call,
did you hear?

Speaker 1 (03:03):
Axel Rose finally retired from Rock and roll and opened
up a health clinic for people with dwarfism. He wanted
little patience.

Speaker 2 (03:15):
My chef keeps adding stock to the soup. We're taking
bets on how large the yield will be, dot the
pot keeps getting bigger.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
I'm Bob Jeffey and I'm Montgomery Jones. Stay tuned until
the end of the episode for a bonus dad joke.
Our goal is to spread joy or cringes to the world.
Share the humor with your family and friends. Have a
good night, and I'll see you again tomorrow. Thank you
for tuning in. Looking for more dad joke humor to share,

(03:55):
then subscribe to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our
weekly round up of the best dad jokes, memes and
humor for you to enjoy. Spread the laughs and groans
and sign up today. Check the sign up link in
the show notes page or visit Daily dadjokespodcast dot com.

(04:16):
The Daily Dad Jokes Podcast is produced by Classic Studios.
See the show notes page for social media links and
Joe credits. This show was recorded in front of a
canned studio audience. What do you get when a nuclear
snowman takes a dump? A ICBM

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Daily Dad Jokes (08 May 2024)

Episode Transcript

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Schrodinger brought his cat to the vet. (+ 18 more dad jokes!)