What did the Chinese Elvis impersonator say when he won the Battleship world championship? (+ 18 more dad jokes!)

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
What mountain got a one hundred percent on the exam
Mount Cleverest.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Ever noticed that when geese fly in a V formation,
one side of that V is longer than the other.
Do you know why that is? Because there are more
geese on that side.

Speaker 1 (00:28):
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

Speaker 2 (00:39):
Why is everyone afraid of the dentist? They always start
with a cavity search.

Speaker 1 (00:48):
My bank account is addicted to money. It's having withdrawal
symptoms right now.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
I don't usually laugh at fart, but occasionally one gets
a squeak out of me.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
What does a clumsy dancer eat for breakfast? Cinnamon to's crunch?

Speaker 2 (01:19):
I don't mind going to the dentist, but my tongue
always gets depressed.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Why were the cannibal's eyes watering when eating a tiny ninja?
It had a little kick to it.

Speaker 2 (01:34):
My friend and I were walking down the street and
saw some freshly poured cement. He thought it would be
fun to walk through it. I told him that was
a bad idea, but he egged me on to do it. Anyways,
when I did, that really solidified my position.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
A group of five ants decided to rent an apartment
with another five ants. Now they are tenants. We'll resume
the fun and laughs right after this message.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
Why did the magician turn the heckler into a pair
of glasses? He wanted to make a spectacle of him.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
Did you hear about the wizards who created molds to
create wheels? They were cast to caster casters.

Speaker 2 (02:35):
What's a low rider's least favorite drug, speed bumps.

Speaker 1 (02:43):
What does a mathematician do about constipation? He works it
out with a pencil.

Speaker 2 (02:53):
Did you know Taylor Swift have a Japanese brother, Suzuki Swift.

Speaker 1 (03:02):
What did the Chinese Elvis impersonators say when he won
the Battleship World Championship? Thank you, thank you very much.

Speaker 2 (03:14):
What do you call a Sikh gang? The Masked Singhouse?
I'm Bob Jeffy.

Speaker 1 (03:23):
And I'm Montgomery Jones.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
There's a bonus dad joke waiting for you at the
end of the episode. Let's spread some happiness or pain
with these jokes. Wishing you a great day and I'll
be back with more jokes tomorrow. Thank you for tuning in.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
Looking for more dad joke humor to share. Then subscribe
to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly roundup
of the best dad jokes, memes and humor for you
to enjoy. Spread the laughs and groans and sign up today.
Check the sign of link in the show notes page
or visit dailydadjokespodcast dot com. The Daily Dad Jokes Podcast

(04:08):
is produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes page
for social media links and Joe credits. This show was
recorded in front of a canned studio audience. I was
on a diabetes's awareness site. It asked me if I
accept cookies? Was that a trick question?

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Daily Dad Jokes (27 Apr 2024)

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}What did the Chinese Elvis impersonator say when he won the Battleship world championship? (+ 18 more dad jokes!)