Daily Dad Jokes (27 Apr 2024)
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Jokes sourced and curated from reddit.com/r/dadjokes. Joke credits: chibiachika, MaxCWebster, StockInitial4460, z3r_k3d, TheQuietKid22, TheRealSlabsy, Geeezer, andersonfmly, ilikesidehugs, NoAcadia9335, Robert-L-Santangelo, Atulius, , SteveBennett64, ilikesidehugs, nomaplebar, Tribunal_Power, trashconverters, Mean-Mango-7125, ElectricPanda79, billbixbyakahulk, waldo06
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Episode Transcript
I took my pet pig to the vet because she
was feeling sick. The vet told me to return in
a couple hours, so I did. When I came back,
the vet presented me with a ham I looked at
him confused, and he said, I cured her.
Speaker 2 (00:21):
The dog swallowed a bag of scrabble tiles. He's at
the vets now, no word yet.
Speaker 1 (00:29):
What did the vets say to the cat? How are
you feline?
Speaker 2 (00:40):
A duck and a vet go to a restaurant. The
vet takes care of the bill.
Speaker 1 (00:48):
A man takes his dog to the vet. The vet says,
I'm sorry, I'll have to put this dog down. The
man asks why, and the vet says, because he is
far too heavy.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
I took my daughter's hamster to the vet. I said, please,
you've got to help my daughter's hamster. The vet laughed
and said, that's a snake.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Why does Santa go to the vit to take care
of his claws?
Speaker 2 (01:27):
My dog ate a string of Christmas lights. Thankfully the
vet was able to remove them. He said, my dog
was delighted.
Speaker 1 (01:40):
I asked the VIT if we needed to be concerned
about our pit bird having multiple partners at once. Turns
out it's normal for parrots to be polyamorous.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
As a vet, I'm tired of working on chickens. If
this keeps up, I'll have to work around the clock.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
How much does a British vet charge to cure an
ill octopus? Six quid.
Speaker 2 (02:12):
A guy took his pony to the vet to see
what was wrong. Vet told him it was fine, just
a little horse.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
The laughter isn't over. We'll be back after this brief break.
My dog won't swallow his daily pill, so the vet
told me to wrap them in a slice of ham.
Anyone know where I can get slices of ham big
enough to wrap an alsatian?
Speaker 2 (02:46):
Obey the law and don't attempt to heal sick birds
without an active vet license. It's illegal.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
Why wouldn't the vet let the dough die she was
holding on to do your life?
Speaker 2 (03:06):
A gardener took his dog to the vet. He's been
acting real depressed, explained the gardener. He just lays in
the garden day after day, letting out these really sad
size I see, replied the vet. What do you grow
this season? It's cataloge, but I don't see how that's relevant.
The vet nodded knowingly and replied, well, that explains it.
(03:26):
He's a melancholy.
Speaker 1 (03:37):
What happens when you cross a cat and a cow?
They revoke your veterinary license.
Speaker 2 (03:47):
I saw a protest against dog neutering. It would have
been longer, but they didn't have the balls to continue.
Speaker 1 (03:58):
Why do newded dogs always cheese squirrels? They're trying to
get the nets back.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
There's a special space ship that neuters female dogs in space,
the Space Shuttle.
Speaker 1 (04:18):
Where does a vit who specializes in neutering live a
cul to sick? I'm Bob Jeffy and I'm Montgomery Jones,
and that's the pet Dad jokes for World Veterinary Day.
We're on a mission to spread the laughs and groans
far and wide, so please do us a favor and
share just one of these jokes with your family and
(04:39):
friends today.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
Thanks. Looking for more dad joke humor to share, then
subscribe to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly
roundup of the best dad jokes, memes and humor for
you to enjoy. Spread the laughs and groans and sign
(05:01):
up today. Check the sign up link in the show
notes page, or visit Daily dadjokespodcast dot com. The Daily
Dad Jokes podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the
show notes page for social media links and joke credits.
This show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience.
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