Yesterday a policeman knocked on my door and told me he was looking for a burglar with one eye. (+ 17 more dad jokes!)

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:03):
Yesterday a policeman knocked on my door and told me
he was looking for a burglar with one eye. I
immediately advised him to also open the other eye for
more clarity.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
I don't believe in all of astrology, just bits and pisces.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
Why is it a good thing for a man to
get a beer belly? Men need a father figure.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
I have an inferiority complex. Unfortunately it's not a very
good one.

Speaker 1 (00:47):
Did you hear that NASA launched a bunch of cows
into orbit around the Earth? It was the herd shot
around the world.

Speaker 2 (01:00):
Where do nomads go on vacation Rome?

Speaker 1 (01:08):
Why don't skeletons play music in church? They don't have
any organs.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
Our shift manager at the Pringles factory was going off
on everyone today. Turns out he had a real chip
on his shoulder.

Speaker 1 (01:30):
How can you tell that a pepper is angry? It
gets HOLOPENO face?

Speaker 2 (01:41):
Why do Dennis decorate with novacane? It's an esthetic?

Speaker 1 (01:49):
Not everyone can play golf the way I do. It
takes a lot of balls. More Dad humor will waits.
Right after this short break, a.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
Blonde was taking the tour of a national park. Not
long ago. The ranger mentioned to the tour group that
dinosaur fossils had been found in the area. The blonde exclaimed, Wow,
I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to
the highway.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
What's an astronaut's favorite part of a computer the space bar?

Speaker 2 (02:32):
How do clown students know what to study? They have
a silly bus?

Speaker 1 (02:41):
Why do loose grapes always taste bitter? Their devine.

Speaker 2 (02:48):
Centaurs may have two ribs cages but only one center
of gravity.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
What did thee when he jumped out of the utility
closet supplies?

Speaker 2 (03:08):
I'm Bob Jeffy.

Speaker 1 (03:10):
And I'm Montgomery Jones.

Speaker 2 (03:11):
There's a bonus Dad joke waiting for you at the
end of the episode. Let's spread some happiness or pain
with these jokes. Wishing you a great day, and I'll
be back with more jokes tomorrow. Thank you for tuning in.
Want the perfect Dad gift? We have the official Daily

(03:33):
Dad Jokes Joke button, now available on Amazon, a massive
five hundred preloaded Dad jokes guaranteed to make you laugh
and grown and for our loyal fans. Use the checkout
discount code Dad Jokes to receive twenty five percent off
the regular listing price. Check the show notes page for
the link. The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by
Classic Studios. See the show notes page for social media

(03:56):
links and joke credits. This show was recorded in front
of a canned studio audience. My wife said that if
I didn't stop making jokes about luggage, that she was
going to kick me out of the house, change the locks,
send the kids to live with her parents, and she
was going back to school. So I said, that's a
lot to unpack.

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Daily Dad Jokes (21 Apr 2024)

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Yesterday a policeman knocked on my door and told me he was looking for a burglar with one eye. (+ 17 more dad jokes!)