Redefining The Soft Woman Feat. Trap Yoga Bae

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
This is a.

Speaker 2 (00:25):
Welcome back to good mom's bad choices. I'm Erica and
I'm Mila, and Happy New Year. I mean, I know
it's the second week, but it's still happy New Year. Girl.

Speaker 3 (00:34):
It's gonna be twenty two. It's gonna be New Year
all month long. I gotta adjust.

Speaker 2 (00:38):
I know, how's everyone feeling. I hope everyone stepped into
this year feeling good, feeling positive, you know, shaking off
twenty twenty two and what as sheet.

Speaker 4 (00:48):
Yes, walking with their confidence, walking in their purpose and
their passion this year.

Speaker 3 (00:53):
I feel like this is the year for that.

Speaker 4 (00:55):
I feel like I've been pumping myself up the last
three months like you were that bitch, just so at
this very moment, I could be like, I'm that bitch.
So I'm just really been working on that. How about you?

Speaker 1 (01:05):
Yeah?

Speaker 2 (01:05):
Same, yep, yep. I believe it. I really do. So.
All of the positive affirmations that I did all year
last year, through the show and privately, I feel like
have made me actually believe, Yes, I am in fact
that bitch. I agree.

Speaker 4 (01:20):
The affirmations help. It helps that we've accomplished a lot
of things in real time this year. So every time
I'm like feeling any remotely down, I'd be.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
Like, bitch, do you know who the fuck you are?

Speaker 3 (01:31):
I'm an author, bitch, that's me talking to myself. Have
this podcast studio, bitch.

Speaker 1 (01:40):
C e Oh.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
Speaking of which, if you are watching on YouTube, which
I hope you are, you'd subscribe to our YouTube channel
because you want to see our beautiful faces and our
cute ass outfits and our guests. So I'm about to
introduce YouTube Relaxed.

Speaker 3 (01:51):
We're very fine and we always have fine guests.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
We are in our new studio, so make sure you
go follow good dot good Media on Instagram. And if
you need a podcast studio to record at, or you
want to start a podcast, we're the place.

Speaker 1 (02:05):
To do it.

Speaker 2 (02:06):
Located in Studio City slash, Hollywood Hills.

Speaker 3 (02:09):
Come on, Ova, come on over, babe, Ben.

Speaker 2 (02:13):
We guarantee that we will be here, but we might
swing back.

Speaker 3 (02:17):
Shorty, swing my way. Okay, alright, Jesus Christ, you're doing
all the it's your fall. You had all the cues.
Sure look good to me now what you know?

Speaker 2 (02:30):
I'm you know you have such a beautiful vote. Thank you,
positive affirmations for you. Til I believe it, I'm gonna
keep saying it, thank you because it's true. You should
you hurt me at karaoke. It's Abastian's birthday. Don't play
with me anyway. I'm really excited because you guys, we
have a special guest and it's been a while since

(02:50):
you doing on our show, and you guys fucking loved
her last episode and she's just so bombed. She's so amazing.
We have Brittany Floyd Mayo aka found under Up Trap
Yoga Bay aka Confidence Coach aka Fine Ass Mama aka
just the bomb Bomb daggady mom my mom, mom got sorry, yep.

(03:12):
Talk to me nice like that. That's then affirmation right there,
Like literally nice, that's every day you look in the mirror,
talk to me nice. You talking to somebody like they're like, Hi,
talk to me nice.

Speaker 3 (03:24):
Did we just start with our affirmation accidentally on purpose?
Talk to me nice?

Speaker 4 (03:30):
I'm telling yourself. That's just how I was telling you.
I've talked to myself nice. So talk to me nice.

Speaker 3 (03:34):
I love that.

Speaker 2 (03:35):
Yes, welcome back, thank you. I love it. And like,
let's let me just like point out we did the
thing where where everybody's like, I love you. It was
so great meeting you, We're gonna be the best of friends.
And we fucking failed miserable last year. But it is
a new year, a new day, and we are the

(03:56):
same dope ass bitches we were before even doper we
like I'm declaring in front of all of your amazing
tribe that we will give them the three way, the
three way friendship been waiting for and deserved. Yes, like
I said it, so now it's real.

Speaker 3 (04:15):
Well, I need more of you in my life. I
need more of you in my life.

Speaker 4 (04:18):
I feel like every time I see you get us together,
it really does.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
And you, guys, I don't know if you've checked in
on our first episode of the year or little bonus
episode of the year. Brittany guided us through a meditation
of course, just as she did last year and just
as she did this year, So you can listen it.
Listen to it in audio form, or if you subscribe
to our YouTube channel, you can watch this beautiful, amazing

(04:43):
meditation around confidence and walking in your authentic self. So
thank you for that. It was my delight. I loved it.

Speaker 4 (04:51):
We also have one for the kids, So if you know,
if you take time for yourself, make sure you throw
that on for the kids too. We had nausea come
on like she does last like two years, right, but
this is.

Speaker 2 (05:02):
The first time doing with the kids in video in theade,
and I thought it was I thought she suggested that,
and I love that because I think sometimes kids really
need a visual So seeing our kids doing the meditation
with nausea was really cool. And shout out to her
business Yoga Little And I just think that bringing your
kids into mindfulness. We always start a year that way,

(05:23):
but let's try to keep it going all throughout the year.
I know that I have I guess you know, I've
failed in ways in this in this space, like I
do a lot of like self caring and really tapping
into myself sometimes and I forget to bring Iri along
with me. So I am committing to that this year
with my daughter, so love. I'm also saying that we're
giving you the three way friendship and also Iris going

(05:45):
to be levitating by twenty twenty four.

Speaker 3 (05:47):
Period.

Speaker 2 (05:48):
Christmas is over, but y'all are just out here just
giving gifts.

Speaker 3 (05:52):
It's Christmas all year round. We're Oprah.

Speaker 2 (05:57):
So how are you how's life life and life phenomenally? Well? Yes, yeah,
you know how like it's been coming up a lot
the way that I want to express my joy and
to share it. And sometimes I have like these moments
where I'm like, girl, you are so fucking annoyingly happy,

(06:18):
and then I'd be like and and bitch, some people
are so annoyingly miserable and it's okay to counterbalance that energy,
and I refuse to be like I'm okay when like, no, bitch,
I'm great. I'm great.

Speaker 3 (06:30):
You're great too, that that is so true.

Speaker 2 (06:33):
I feel like sometimes I be like, we I realized
that people thrive in like, uh, not mediocrisy. I was
gonna say that mediocrasy.

Speaker 4 (06:43):
And just like I mean, because we've all done it,
like why they're so fucking happy, Like what the fuck?
So fucking what do you think you're cheerleader? But also
like yep, but as I like get.

Speaker 2 (06:53):
Into this place I've talked about this, like or I
feel so at peace and like everything's going well, I'm
like I'm trying to I want to be angry because
I don't know what else to do. And then also
I'm like, god, I'm so in love on the internet.
I need to chill, Like those bitches get on my nerves.
I'm like you are that bitch. You're happy, you're in love,
Like that's it, Okay.

Speaker 3 (07:10):
I can't like.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
Unapologetically, so I can't doubt sit down you guys, why
the fuck would I. It's like you said, I'm be
like miserable. I'm not even fucking happy. I've been miserable.
I'm so happy to be on this side, but like
really acknowledging it and sitting in it. And I think
sometimes people feel like that's like conceited or like over
the top.

Speaker 3 (07:30):
But people go over the top to complain and stress
all day.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
And I noticed when people like talk to me about
shit that I don't care about, I'm like, this seems
like I don't care, you know, like I won't only
want to hear from joy, not only because they know
there's like both, you know, but I have really like
that reminded me how much I've been working on being
present in the peace and just like I'm peaceful. You know.

(07:55):
What I've noticed is like how my recovery is faster
when I like experience something like bad in my life
or something like that would have taken me out for
a month or two or three. Like that's how I know,
like the work that I've been doing over the last
five years, even just on this show, like I recover faster.
I'm like, all right, how can I get to the
joy faster? Like I'm not gonna sit here in this wallow,

(08:18):
this does not serve me, like I'm not a victim,
and so how can I get to the recovery faster?
I mean, granted, you have to feel the feels, and
I do that too, and I allow myself to do that.
But I think a lot of people really like enjoy
the wallowing. Oh for sure. I think a lot of
times people are comfortable with their problems, and I think

(08:42):
it's easy for us to be like, why she's so happy,
or goddamn, that's so annoying, or her happiness isn't real.
You get that a lot. I get a lot of
people accusing me of not being as happy as I seem,
And to me, I think that that really points to
what you believe is possible. Right, maybe before you were
in this beautiful, healthy relationship that I love watching y'all

(09:06):
feet you, Oh my god, I thought, but before you
would see couples in our minds would say shit like
bet bet they probably cheating, Like a guy would post
his girlfriend, and like some minds will be like, he
probably posted her because he got caught doing some stupid shit,
or you know, somebody sends flowers to the job and
they're like, what do you do this time? And because

(09:27):
we did not know that people can just be happy
in private in public in general. And so you know,
as we're talking to your tribe and my bay friends
that are listening, if you find yourself annoyed by somebody
else's joy, ask yourself, is is it because you don't
believe that that can be experienced. When you're questioning what

(09:48):
other people are feeling, it might be because you've never
had that feeling yourself. Because now that you know what
that self love and what that healthy love feels like,
you can recover faster because you're willing to do the
work to get back to a place that you know exists.
It's hard to want to heal when you're like, I'm
gonna do all this healing and then what you know, now,
I'm gonna do all this healing and then I get

(10:09):
back to being happy, and I get back to the bag,
and I get back to love, and I get back
to all of the things that because I've been to
the mountain.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
Dup.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
Yeah, but if you've never been there, I've only been
in the middle or the bottom of the mountain. That's
all you've ever experienced. It feels uncomfortable. You almost hate
on yourself. Yeah, I'm like, am I hating on myself?

Speaker 3 (10:26):
It's my life.

Speaker 4 (10:27):
But it's just like, yeah, like questioning shit, expecting something
that happened just catastrophic to change, or like living in
scarcity and like you're always worried or stressed about some
shit because nothing ever feels safe. Like I realize, like
when I'm feeling safe and I'm feeling happy, like I've
had to learn to be comfortable.

Speaker 2 (10:47):
In it and like like okay, cool, everything's cool, you know,
And I didn't. I mean, obviously I didn't recognize that
that was necessary until you come into a place where
everything's starting to fall together.

Speaker 3 (10:58):
But yeah, like it's it does require that you reflect.

Speaker 4 (11:01):
On yourself and what you've seen, what you've experienced, because like,
especially in family dynamics, if you've never felt like your
parents were at peace or your household was at peace,
You're gonna grow up into a world of chaos and
not even know why. You're constantly like comfortable with the chaos.

Speaker 2 (11:16):
Right, and when you don't know peace and all you
know is that like turmoil, you convince yourself that like
this is what life is. Right, there is no whatever
it is that you thought you wanted, it doesn't exist.
And so then you can be okay in mediocrity or
that okay, And then here comes along a bit having
the thing that you said didn't exist. And now I

(11:37):
hate you because you are proving the thing that I fear,
which is it's not that happiness is elusive and can
never be found, it's that I haven't found it. How
dare you smear my face and fuck up the illusion
that I've given myself. So that's what I'm saying. I'm
like when happy bit just irritate you.

Speaker 4 (11:58):
I realized, like not too long ago, I remember like
growingp I grew up in the valley, and I always
was like all my most majority of my friends growing
up were white, and I remember like going to like
my white friend's households and like everything seemed like super
curated and clean and like dinner was served at the
right time and everyone ate together. And I realized, like
as an adult, I realized that I kind of associated

(12:19):
those things with like white people like like, oh, like
these things are things that like happened white households, because
that's all that's where I saw those Like I don't
know my cleanliness organization. I like, I don't know, like
this like like TV version of what like family life
looked like. And now as an adult, I realized, like, no, bitch,
this is just like you could have that too. You

(12:41):
can have a perfectly curbated house and like every and
the nanny and the housekeeper or whatever the fuck, but
like really having and even just remember we had Zosia
on the show and we're like happily we did trigger
and we're like happily ever after, and she was like
white women, and it made me think of that, and
I was like, damn, like I did kind of that way,
Like those type of like relationships, that type of family

(13:03):
life was unobtainable, and like the privilege was a privilege,
you know, and like it only came like tied beautifully
that way in those households. But like, not a bitch,
I'm trying to have the perfectly curated house too, with
the nanny and like everything's always in place, like oh,
it's so dirty, Like no, it's not, bitch, You're like
I know now, Like that's that's where I'm at now,

(13:24):
Like I realize that that's possible.

Speaker 3 (13:27):
Mm, It's not just for white people. Thank god.

Speaker 2 (13:30):
It's so beautiful as you guys are talking about manifesting
right knowing what's possible, anything that I can fathom, anything
that I've seen. If I saw that it exists, it
can exist for me.

Speaker 3 (13:41):
True.

Speaker 2 (13:42):
And you know last year's not like well yeah, last
year wow. Last year and December's theme was the power
of Yes, and I remember talking about it in one
of our episodes that like a lot of manifesting is
saying yes to things and not saying no. And obviously
positive thinking and the power of Positive Thinking, which is
a book i'm reading right now. I'm not reading it.
I'm actually doing my first audible, guys, which is interesting

(14:04):
because the audible for that book is not The voices
are not great, So I'm really trying to get past
the voices. But I've just been I'm trying to, like,
you know, start my year off in this. I'm I'm
I feel like I'm generally a positive thinker. However, I
can overwhelm myself and be like what if this doesn't happen,
What if this doesn't happen? What if I'm I'm the

(14:24):
type of person that for me, I what I realized
in this last year, it's sometimes hard for me to
celebrate my wins longer than like one hour. Like after
an hour, I'm like, Okay, well that was great, So
what's next? What's next? Or how are we going to
maintain that? How are we gonna how are we gonna
piggyback off that to make something else happen? And I'm like, bitch,

(14:45):
just relax and enjoy this, and like tomorrow will deal
with tomorrow. Yeah, And but also knowing that like just
saying saying so many yeses in my life in the
last few years, and the with Mila in this business
and just personally have created my wildest dreams, you know,

(15:06):
and being able to invite in the things that I
probably said no to a lot before. And like people
always ask us, like, what is like the secret to manifesting?
And really is no fucking secret, Like it's like believing
in yourself or faking it till you make it in ways,
just saying it over and over and over again. In action,
like you have to put action behind it. You cannot

(15:26):
just fucking wish upon the moon and it shit's gonna
turn out for you. I hear you saying, it's not
enough to say that you want something, but you have
to believe that you were worthy of it. Yes, that's right.

Speaker 3 (15:39):
Yeah, hell yeah, you desire.

Speaker 2 (15:42):
Worthy of all the shit that you just said. Like,
did you hear yourself? You're having achievements that are worthy
of celebration, your personal life, your business, Like, girl, tell
me more. I guess that is though, it's like the
worthy of celebration thing that I'm still I need to
work on because you feel like do you feel that
you genuinely like believe that like the with like that

(16:05):
you're worthy of the winds like because sometimes I find
myself like we've done all these things and then I'm
still questioning it, like you know, like damn, you wrote
this like fucking two hundred plus page book, Like is
it good?

Speaker 3 (16:16):
Like you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 (16:17):
Like, bitch, you're already here, like you got the book,
like many people, like your editors have read it. They're
telling you it's approved, it's going to be published, And
I'm still like, am I worthy of being here? And
I am?

Speaker 4 (16:27):
Because I'm here, but then I'm questioning it. So when
it comes out, is it gonna like people are gonna
are people gonna be mad? Or like you know what
I mean. It's just like this constant just like even like, oh,
we have these things, now, how are we gonna how
are we gonna maintain it? It's like if you had
the wherewithal to get here, you have the wherewithal to
maintain it. And it's just like reminding ourselves that of
all the time, because even like in our you know,

(16:48):
our business, I'm always like, am I doing an ape
aeric ammadomy? Like she calls me, I'm like, hello, yeah, I'm.

Speaker 3 (16:53):
Working right now.

Speaker 2 (16:56):
You heard that typing in the background, and do a
lot of emails hella email them.

Speaker 3 (17:00):
I laugh away.

Speaker 4 (17:04):
But but I realized that it's that like that inner
voice that isn't that is still working on believing myself,
you know, like you could have the accomplishments and see
it and touch it and like, but it's still if
you don't really believe that you're worthy, then it doesn't
it's not going to hit the same.

Speaker 2 (17:23):
No, it's not. I think they there's like a really
good piece to that voice, right because we're always like,
I just need to like cancel my inner critic. No no,
no, no no. But sometimes you do need to look at
yourself with a critical eye. But there's a difference between
looking at your life and your accomplishments and proofreading your
book with a critical eye and being judgmental. Right, that

(17:46):
voice that tells you is it good, I'm not sure
if it's good should be critical enough to make you
want to proofread your book. Should be critical enough to
make you want to seek out the people who can
help you make it better and who can give you
an honest review and give you fee back. That voice
should help you be your absolute best. But the compassion
and the self love at some point has to kick

(18:07):
in to say, babe, you did enough, and yeah, you're
gonna read some shitty reviews, right, like, let's accept that.
And yes, some people are not gonna like your book,
but one you've done enough right that they even wanted
to read your shit in the first place. And this
is your first opportunity, and you'll get more opportunities and
the next time you'll be better and do more, or

(18:28):
be just as great or be less than great, but
you'll be bold enough to keep fucking trying the coaching
you didn't ask for, because I love you. Gotta keep trying.

Speaker 3 (18:37):
That's the thing.

Speaker 4 (18:38):
And I realized too, like it's in the trying that
you build confidence. Once you see like small things happen,
you're like, oh, should I did that small thing? And
I can keep going to do that, And then it's
just like it's a building of confidence that no matter
what happens, there will be people who would all like
some shit, you know what I mean, Like it's inevitable
everyone's not gonna like us. I mean what we you

(19:00):
in general is very like we're putting ourselves out there.
And I think it's it's we kind of like, do
this so we don't have to think about it, like
blind side it, you know, how.

Speaker 2 (19:11):
Do you say, yeah, blinders on?

Speaker 4 (19:14):
But overall it's in the practice of saying, I don't
give a fuck what you think, and I'm gonna and oh,
that probably wasn't my best work, but I'm gonna continue
to do it. And then in those those like small
you know, like little, you know, building, building, building, and
then finally you have a building and you're like, oh,
because I kept fucking trying and I kept going and
you look back and you're like.

Speaker 3 (19:34):
Oh shit, bitch, we done did a lot of shit.

Speaker 4 (19:36):
Then this, you know, since the dining room, right, and
it's and I've really really realized that this, like this relationship,
this business, this vulnerability has really given me the confidence
that led me to feeling worthy, you know, like looking
back and like, oh, actually I've I'm capable because I've
done it. But if I had I given up or

(19:57):
let those like negative those voices impact me and just
said fuck it, I'm not gonna do anything, I would
be nowhere.

Speaker 2 (20:03):
Yeah. So it's like there's going to be criticism and
it's not going to be perfect, but fucking yeah. And
I love that you are not for everybody, because if
you was for everybody, you'd be for nobody. And the
thing about like especially y'all that I love is you
speak of a voice for the very niche people and

(20:23):
they don't need you to speak in a way that
other people are gonna be acceptable because if you guys
showed up not fully authentic, what you're telling the women
who identify with you so so well is we think
to be better received, you've got to wash down some
part of you. And that is not the message that
we want to send. So when you continue to show
up so fucking boldly like you do, what you say

(20:46):
is if you feel like me, you can live in
your truth, you can live out loud, you can do
whatever the fuck you want to do, so long as
you're not harming other people and still have what you want.
And that's a lot of how I out starting trap yoga,
where people were like, You're never gonna get any deals
because you curse, and no one's ever gonna take you

(21:06):
seriously because you twerk. It was just like, well, if
I change that, the women who want a yoga teacher
who curses and twerks and to feel seen, they'll never
have a home. Do I really want to run a
life that everybody likes me? Or do I really want
like people who see me wholly truly and love me

(21:28):
for that? And that's that whole You got to be
confident enough to be vulnerable to do that, to say
this is who I am. Is there anybody else out there?
And I'm sure you guys have been blown away by
how many Is there anybody else out there? And the
community that y'all created over these last few years, right, like,

(21:49):
more women than I imagined you've transformed their lives. Just
knowing y'all has transformed my life, like I know it,
so keep doing.

Speaker 4 (22:02):
I mean we literally built the brand, like to spite perfectionism,
you know, we were like we literally built the brand.
Were like fuck that and really on some like who cares,
Like you're gonna either take it or you're not. And
I think obviously it's easy because there was nobody listening
and so we just were talking shit.

Speaker 3 (22:21):
But like it's.

Speaker 4 (22:24):
Like, I know this is cliche, but like being authentically yourself,
which I realized for me I can't help it, which
who but but for people who are listening, who are
constantly striving, and we all like women, there's not all.
But even for me, like someone who can't help it
be themselves, I've still had a lot of work overcoming,

(22:46):
like people pleasing, like wanting everything to be like even
and nice and just like oh, like you know kind
really you know, just showing up a certain way so
people will like me, because I mean, I don't want
anyone to not like me. But it's just in the
showing up is this is who I am, and if
you like it, it's cool. But if you don't it's
cool too. I've realized, like a, I've had this incredible

(23:07):
friendship with Erica, with you, and like in us being
authentic and saying, hey, it's not perfect, but we're going
to talk about it anyway, and seeing how many of
our tribe showed up because we're not ever like suggesting
that we have all the answers. I'm sure I've said
a lot of fucked up shit that I probably don't
believe anymore, you know, like maybe.

Speaker 3 (23:27):
Two months ago. I don't know.

Speaker 4 (23:28):
I'm changing all the time. I'm evolving. That's the whole
point to be blooming. And even in like my relationship
had I not and I always think of this episode
we have somebody else and I was talking about my
titties being out, and they're like, do you think that's
why you're single right now? And then I must have
like like snapped because I was like, actually, whoever's my
man is going to be so proud to have me,
and he's going to know exactly who I am. He's

(23:49):
going to root me on dancing on tables and with
my titties out because he knows who the fuck I am.
And like, you know, a year later, looking back and
I have a boyfriend who's like all about the business.
Had I not showed up as myself, I would have
never been in love and in a relationship with someone
who knows exactly who the fuck he's dealing with and
what he's gonna get. And you know, can imagine hiding

(24:09):
yourself a from yourself. You're not even like, you're not
even brave enough to be like, what is it that
I like, what do I want to do and be
from someone who could potentially be the love of your
life because you're scared that someone else who doesn't fucking
matter may not accept or love you. We are all
worthy of love and deserving of you know, like peace

(24:31):
and love in the highest way, but we can only
really receive that if we are showing our true colors
to attract our true friends and our true tribe and
our true man and our true husband or wives or whatever.
But people like especially I don't know, if it's like
Western civilization, we get so caught up on perfectionism, you know,
like how we look?

Speaker 3 (24:50):
Does this look right? Like I'm on camera?

Speaker 2 (24:52):
Like they just have boggers sometimes, you know, it's like
human you know, like.

Speaker 3 (24:57):
Every hair is not gonna look perfect every time.

Speaker 2 (25:00):
Sometimes brains are gonna get braided on the show because
that's the reality, you know, Like it's just it doesn't
do anyone any it doesn't progress anything to pretend.

Speaker 3 (25:11):
Pretending is just like.

Speaker 2 (25:12):
You can't you can't can't hold up the mask. It's
it's gonna fall off, it's gonna get crooked, and you're
gonna get exposed eventually, and that's when the relationship starts
to fall apart because you're like, wait, this is this
is not who you presented yourself to be. So it's
just about like I think even for me, I feel
like Mila's or like she is, She's always kind of

(25:34):
showed up as herself for me, like I have tried.
I've had to like really figure out like what parts
of myself do I love and which parts of myself
do I am? I ready to kill, you know, And
I think being a scorpio, like I'm very all about
like the transformation, and but it took me a long
time to feel bold enough and confident enough to really

(25:56):
step into that space. And I think we're lucky because
there's two of us, So there's two of us to
kind of like push each other. But then there's women
right now listening who like I mean, it truly is
like it's an inside job, it's a solo journey, and
like you being a confidence coach, I'm curious to know,
like with your clients, who are you know basically maybe
starting at zero, Like what are tools for someone who

(26:17):
is like I don't even know where to start. I
don't have a Jamila, I don't have a friend that's
going to like say, push me to try to be
my most authentic self. Yeah. I think for a lot
of my clients, they come and they're like, I don't
know what's wrong. Something's wrong, and so it's like, fuck,
take it from the top, you know. And one of

(26:40):
the first things that I do is I have this
like two hour like conversation with them with themselves where
we call it a wantson knees manifesto because you want
to be confident, but you don't even know what confidence
looks like on you. Because when we don't know who
we are or what we want, we see what someone
else has. A lot of times they'll just see me

(27:00):
and they'll be like I want to be like you,
And I'm like, if you ended up being me and
you're not me. You're not gonna fucking be happy. And
I found that like when we really deep dive, I
had a client's like, what does confidence look like to you?
And me like she was like, confidence looks like wearing
a short sleeved shirt and being comfortable. Don't have me

(27:22):
tell you what confidence looks like, cause I'm a like,
we did a little wardrobe change and we was Coochi's
out and looking bitches in the eyes and having a conversation.
So confidence has to look like what looks like for you.
So I think starting off is looking at every role
you play in life, looking at every goal you have,

(27:43):
and saying is this what I want? Or is this
me trying to be more palatable, more acceptable? Is this
me trying to follow the brules bullshit rules of society?
So I would be like, step one is to get
really honest about, you know, all of the those roles.
So sometimes I'll have a client who's like, who's a mom,

(28:04):
And I'll have them do this assignment where I'm like,
write down every hat you wear in life and ask
yourself do I want to keep that? And then they'll
turn it in and I'm like, oh, you said you
have kids? Right, and they're like yeah. And I'm like,
you didn't write the role is mother on here? And
they're like, because that's not optional, baby, you always got options.

(28:25):
And when we're afraid to ask ourselves questions like do
I want to be a mother? Like, because we can
be honest as fuck here, right, do I want to
be a mother? If some women look deep inside and
ask themselves that question, even though they already had their kids,
their answer would be no, listen, I mean we had
from that, we had our friend on Jessica Rose and
it was a very controversial moment, and then in the

(28:46):
episode in general talking about regretting motherhood and how so
many moms do. And it's not that you regret your child,
it's you regret the you regret the role. You regret
the role that like you didn't know you were signing
up for all the way, because you don't really know
what the fuck you're signing up for until you are
in it, right, because a bit was just digmatized and
trying to keep the relationship going. And now eighteen plus

(29:09):
plus plus because they also lie to you, it does
not end at eighteen now. And so if I get
you to fill out the thing and say one of
my roles is mother. Do I want to keep this role? No?
People are afraid that that means that, like, oh, I'm
about to throw my baby out the window. I got
a safe surrender. No, it's not saying that, but it's saying, Okay,
this doesn't come naturally to you, but you're in it

(29:32):
and you're still committed to it. How can we minimize
the pain, minimize the frustration of those sort of things,
you know, with your job and all of that. So really,
I think my first thing is to get them to
face themselves and be honest about the part of their
lives they're not so happy with, and the part of
their lives that they think is going to earn them

(29:52):
love or whatever. Like they'll come to me and be like,
I want, you know, I want a smaller waist and
a fatter ass. Why because I want to have a
boyfriend who spends money on me and they seem and
men always seem to spend money on girls with the
fat ass Because why right? Because I want to feel chosen?
Because why? Okay? Cool. So when we get to the end,
I'm like spoiler alert from one bad bitch to a

(30:16):
future bad bitch. Being a bad bitch does not make
you more lovable. It just makes you more fuckable. It
actually makes your life a lot harder. That's a truth
that's hurt and most confidence coaches or whoever, anybody who's
selling something, because let's be honest, I'm selling a service
that I feel like they lie to you and be like,
you know, have the money and then you'll have the
life of your dreams, get the body like no, bitch, Nope.

(30:38):
All I can promise you is to get closer to yourself.
Nothing else is gonna guarantee you love, guarantee you happiness,
none of that. But I can help you palliative care
for whatever. For life. Life is painful. I'm here for
pain management. And when you can accept it like this
is what life is, you can decide what you want

(30:59):
to change and be fit in about the rest. So
I feel that, I mean, I think that that's a
really that's a really big lesson. I think for a
lot of women, especially like because we often seek outward right,
we're never like really understanding that everything we have is
already here. We have all the tools. If you want
that fat ass, if you want that small waste, you
have the tools for that too, But we're always seeking

(31:21):
outwardly and thinking that, oh, if I just had this,
then I could I could have that. If I looked
like this, then I would have that, if I did
like you know, and it's it's never it's never that.
And I know that for a fact because I know
for a long time I leaned on my looks. I
leaned I did leans fine. I lean on my looks

(31:41):
because that's what people gave to me. They said, oh
my god, you're so beautiful. Oh this like you must
have you must get this, you must get that, or
you oh that you oh you got him? Because I'm like, bitch,
he's cheating on me, Like it doesn't matter. None of
those things actually matter. And so I think, especially in
the society we live in, it's really easy to put

(32:02):
so much value on what you see, and often what
you see is not what really is and it's not
what's important. Yeah, And that's what I found, right because
we've been we've been bad, but just a long time,
long time, long time, y'all. We've been at this, and
as our relationships with ourselves got better, we started manifesting

(32:24):
better friendships, better partners, better financial opportunities. So it really
couldn't have been granted, we get fine about a day.
It really couldn't have been the looks though. It had
to be something that was happening inside of you, right,
It had to be your discernment. It had to be
the lessons that you learned to be like, Okay, yeah,
I'm fine, but I'm also worth more than somebody who

(32:48):
other people think is desirable but doesn't make me feel
desired and doesn't make me feel loved. And so a
lot of it is believing that you are worthy of
those things and turning inside no matter what. But you
keep doing the things, you know, pretending so that you
can get somebody to accept you. And like you said,
the mask is gonna slip. Even if you can hold

(33:08):
your mask up, you're always looking over your shoulder because
you're like, what if they find out? And you're too
busy worried about do they like me? Then asking yourself
the really important question, do I like this? Motherfucker? I
think a lot of us have done that as women,
spent time or been in relationships because you know, because
a man or a woman agreed to be in the

(33:29):
relationship and we were just so happy to be chosen
that we didn't even ask ourselves did I choose this
motherfucker back? Like you know, that's that's the piece. And
I was talking to a client the other day and
she just was like, I feel just really heartbroken because
guys keep not choosing me. And I was like, think
of this analogy, right, Like you're in a store shopping

(33:51):
and you're looking for a pair of pants and you're
at the fucking T shirt rack, you.

Speaker 3 (33:57):
Know what I mean.

Speaker 2 (33:58):
Like you're a pair of pants and you keep putting
yourself at the T shirt rack. Somebody is going to
come to that rack and they might like the pants,
but remember they were in the market for the T shirt,
so they'll pick up the pants and they're like cool, cool, cool,
but this ain't really what I want. They'll put the
shit back. And here you are feeling like you're not
being chosen, but you keep stepping into a marketplace, into

(34:18):
relationships where someone's not looking for you in particular. So
instead of keep putting yourself on the wrong rack hoping
that you'll get what shirts get, put yourself with the
fucking pants and someone who's looking for pants will find
their pants. Like I did a lot of shopping in Bali,
but hear me out. It was a realization that I had,

(34:40):
which is just like, stop pretending to be something that
you aren't and you think that no one's gonna notice.
But in the switching over to like humans and not items,
if you are trying to live, something that I learned
is soft life is not for me. I'm not a
soft life bitch. I like the idea of it. That's

(35:00):
very controversial. I tried. I tried.

Speaker 3 (35:04):
Maybe I'll evolve into a soft life. Bet so I
try it.

Speaker 2 (35:07):
I have a question, what do you view a soft life?
What is the soft life to you? You are so smart.
Anytime someone says something, the first question is define it.
So on social media because which I'm not gonna act
like I'm not on there watching what the bitches are saying.
They're like, I don't make any decisions soft life. I
don't pay for shit soft life. I tend to my

(35:28):
man soft life, and I'm like, you can't be life
all the time. Not all the time. And so I
was blessed with this wonderful opportunity where you know, I
was traveling with someone and they were like, whatever you want,
make no decisions. We got this, and while I was there,

(35:48):
I created work for myself. Like literally the hotel we
were staying at, I went to the to the fucking
receptionist and was like, hey, so one of the ways
I like to play with the universe is to create
win win scenario. I would like to exchange some things
with you guys. And I'm over here in the hotel
room like drawing up contracts and working because I want

(36:11):
to work. I enjoy negotiating, I enjoy ideating. I enjoy
some of the some of the yang energy, some of
the you know, business maneuvers and masculinity. And it doesn't
mean I'm also not nurturing and inviting and open, but
I am hyper productive. I do enjoy my rest. I

(36:32):
am a self care professional, but a lot of that
soft life shit, it just it did not I read
the brochures, I tried it, I was open. It did
not resonate, and so for me, I felt like a
pair of pants on the T shirt rack. And so
what I was explaining to my client was, you know,

(36:52):
you you think this is this is the life that
I want, this is what it is. And so you
show up and someone accepts you thinking that you're going
to be a soft a soft girl, soft life person.
But they're used to dealing with bitches who don't make decisions.
They are used to dealing with bitches who do not
flinch when the bill comes and who is very much
like whatever you want, daddy, So they know you'll crack

(37:15):
little here and there that you're not fully aligned with
that thing. But then you feel rejected when really they've
set you free because you're not that. And so I
was like, yeah, I probably talked back too much to
be like a soft or docile woman or like in bed,
I'm a full fucking switch and my like and I'm

(37:35):
like my sub is a braddy sub at best, and
my dom is very much like sit down and be
a good boy. I don't know if I'm soft life.
I don't know. Maybe I don't know what it means
teach a bit so, but I think that's how I
was feeling, like my definition of soft life is not
I guess that definition. Okay, I think that also, Like
so you like I'm a worker bee as well, and

(37:57):
but I realize that like the way that I my
hope is, I'm not. I'm not. I haven't mastered this yet.
I'm I'm want a soft life work in progress, but
using my my femininity to get what I want, which
is essentially soft life. But also what is it hard?

(38:19):
I don't know what the opposite of soft life is hard?
Boudang gang Gangangang. I think that like there's a I
think there's a balance between the two. I don't necessarily
look as at soft life as docile. I think it's
like moving with ease, using your femininity, your sensuality to

(38:39):
take to nurture, but also get what it is that
you want and you need. Yeah, no, I like that.
I feel like I always walk in the room. The
way you said it in my brain was like walk in
a room pussy forward for show, not pussy pussy forward,
you know what I mean? Like hello band, that pussy
runs the world right, and I understand like the fluidity
and the openness and receptive, But to me, that's more

(39:01):
on the like the manifesting side. Do you do you
feel uncomfortable letting a man lead? No? Do no, no, no.
I love that shit, Like, well that's soft in this society. Yes,
I think so, because I think a lot of times
I do got questions though I'd be like where are
we going like we had our neighbor next door shout
out to Jason, aka problem. I'm calling him problem. You

(39:23):
hear this, Jason your problem? He said that bitches are
making men gay and I couldn't help. But think, is
it because we're like aggressive or like we well, I
think I think. I don't know you were on the live.
I'm assuming it's also because, like you know, we want
our men to be soft. Is that what it is?

Speaker 3 (39:41):
No, I wasn't in that live very long.

Speaker 4 (39:43):
Okay, he was like he was like praising the women
but also saying a lot of it was.

Speaker 3 (39:47):
There was a lot going on in that live.

Speaker 2 (39:48):
But I think that there's like this, you know, because
women have had to show up in different ways and
be the father and be the the provider. And I
think that's where women and are kind of like with
their hands up, like I actually don't want to do
all of this all the time. And I think that's
where the soft life element comes in. It's not necessarily
that like you want to just lay there and be

(40:10):
fucked be and everything to be taken care of and
you don't pay for a thing. It's more so like Amos,
it's finding the balance because we are imbalanced in this society,
like there is a huge imbalance in the role of
man and woman or and whatever that you know looks like.
And I know for me, I have definitely taken on

(40:32):
a more masculine role for a larger part of my
life happily, because I felt like that made me more
valuable too. And when I walked into rooms, I was
going to get respect in the ways that I that
I wanted. But I realize now in my space because
I feel validated, like, Okay, I know what I'm doing
over here that I can walk into rooms and I
don't have to do that much anymore. I can walk

(40:53):
in and I can float in, and my sensuality is dominant,
like me being a woman that is successful and a
master in my field is dominant. And that makes me
feel soft in that space. Granted, there's some times where
I really got to buck up on a nigga and
say no, yeah, I let niggas know, like I'll pay

(41:13):
for that. Actually I'm leaving like I got it, no thanks,
you know. And and I like that part of me too,
you know. So I don't know, I feel like there's
there's definitely a balance, but I don't look at I
relate to. I feel like I'm more like you, but
I feel like there is a very soft element to
you and so some so naturally that I think you

(41:35):
have a lot of soft life. I think the internet
has defined it in well, there's so many definitions that
I've seen, but there's there's a lot of definitions that
I feel like are leaning into, like just we weak woman.

Speaker 4 (41:48):
Well, I was gonna say, I think we're in an
era of a lot of Obviously there's a lot of
like hurt men, and I think there's, like, like you said,
there's a huge like separation and like the black men
and black women specifically, if you're on any type of
fucking shade room, you see it every other day. Black
women do this and that, and like just labeling us

(42:09):
as masculine and like this fucking narrative, feeding us this
narrative that like certain like certain men want soft women.
And I noticed that you said the word dicile. I
fucking hate that word.

Speaker 2 (42:21):
And I don't think soft women and being docile are
the same, but I think that women interpret it that way.
And when you're a woman that wants to be chosen
and you try to like you start to like do
the pick me shit. I think that's where that comes in.
Like if you, you.

Speaker 4 (42:37):
Know, make decisions or you you know, buck up, then
you're like trying to be a man. You're trying to
be a man. Like I don't want a woman who
tries to be a man. No, nigga, you gotta be
real clear with these men, because it's like, do you
not want a woman who's trying to be a man,
or do you not want a woman who's gonna call
you on your bullshit? Because I can be real soft
and delicate, but nigga, try me if you want to,

(42:58):
and you're gonna see me you a real different woman.

Speaker 3 (43:01):
And I do. And the thing is about that. It's
like I do believe.

Speaker 2 (43:05):
I believe like the feminine will fucking will fucking get you,
you know, like it's we're like water, you know. I
think that can create, can destroy exactly, and we can create.
We are the creators. We are God, we create you.
We've created humanity through our yonies, bitch. So I think
we get really like caught up in the the man's

(43:28):
labeling of what soft like life looks like or feminine
looks like, and the truth of the matter is it
is balance, you know, being able to acknowledge the balance
of showing up feminine and how I'm going to show
up and how feminine because like, try and snatch a
mother's child and see if you don't get fucking shot,
you know what I'm saying, Like I'll be a killer

(43:48):
for my child, quick and easy. And I also can
lay down and be soft and not making decisions. I
hate making decisions. My boyfriend has to remind me all
the time, like, bitch, you're gonna make decisions on Monday.

Speaker 3 (43:57):
I'm like, okay, it's Friday, though.

Speaker 4 (43:59):
But but it's like, don't get it twisted. You know,
being soft and feminine comes with being able to be
hard and be able to.

Speaker 3 (44:08):
Like men couldn't birth, you know what I mean?

Speaker 4 (44:12):
There is this like unique balance, and I just think
that like like letting a man pay for everything and
make all the decisions and like making I think there's
a difference between feeding a man's ego so that they
feel delusional and accepting a man that makes you feel
safe enough that you can lie down and be delicate
and allow things to happen because I trust you and

(44:34):
you've created this space where I know that you're not
gonna like you have my back. But I think a
lot of women we haven't been in a position to
do that because a lot of men and even parents
have dropped the ball. And it makes you have fucking
trust issues, and it makes you get everything done yourself
and taken every fucking grocery back in one trip.

Speaker 2 (44:52):
And no, I'm good, I'm fine, and I'm gonna do
it myself. I'm not going to speak up and ask
for help. I think sometimes like being delicated is just
being able to be like, hey, hey, can you help me?
Because now I'll be like in the store like oh no, yeah, yeah,
can you help me to my car? You know what
I mean?

Speaker 4 (45:07):
Like I just realized like it's really a choice, and
like being able to be wise enough to pick and
choose when it's time to buck up, because I can
see my scale like slide depending on the situation, you know,
because I am pretty soft and I will nurture and
I will love, but I also curse you the fuck out,
like we're in South Philly, you know what I mean.
So it's just like, don't don't let these men's interpretation,

(45:30):
these very delicate egoed men that there's like a huge
uproaring of right now because of Kevin Samuels, et cetera,
Andrew Tait.

Speaker 3 (45:40):
Wherever the fuck his name is.

Speaker 2 (45:41):
And on the contrary, there's also a lot of women
who are fucking it up for us all. There's a
lot of bitches who are like I'm like, bitches who
are just like gimme, gimme, gimme and don't have shit
to show for, don't have shit to bring to the table.
I see many bitches with all the bags and sleeping
on a map like a fucking air mattress, you know

(46:01):
what I'm saying, Like, bitch bitches are bit you know, like,
let's not get a twisted. There are some fucks that
bitches are sucking it up for everyone. And so there's just,
like I think, in general, a misunderstanding of sexes and
what our roles are and instead of fucking constantly fighting
each other and being on defense about what you're not
doing great, there's a lot of bitch ass niggas, you
know what I mean. But like you can't go to

(46:24):
a group of bitch ass niggas and expect to find
a man say that, you know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (46:29):
It's like as soon as you see a nigga's not
on the same page.

Speaker 2 (46:31):
He's not grown up and he's not he's not like evolving,
and he's not showing up as a man.

Speaker 3 (46:37):
That's you'll, you'll fucking.

Speaker 2 (46:39):
Go dry trying to convince a fucking cactus to blow
him a flower or whatever.

Speaker 3 (46:43):
That wasn't a great I'm as good as the thing.
I was like, fuck, you know what I mean, But
they do.

Speaker 2 (46:55):
You made a very very valid point, though, I like,
I hear you, and I feel like there's all this
conversation about you know, what women are asking for for men,
and my whole thing has always been the same. Don't
ask for what you don't have. That's it. That's it,
Like you want somebody who makes six figures, because no,
I guess't disagree with that too, Because we can't both

(47:16):
be broke. What are we gonna both do together? Like
somebody has to have more than that. Work on yourself,
Work on yourself a little bit. I mean, let me
manifest my life looking at your life, I mean, and
there is a space for inspiration.

Speaker 3 (47:30):
Inspiration, There is a space for inspiration.

Speaker 2 (47:32):
And I don't think when I say you should be
looking for your equal I shouldn't say you guys have
to be equal on everything, right, because there is a
need for contrast, and that's what's gonna help you grow
and help you create more discipline. You know. Again, before
when I got here, I was telling y'all one of
the things that I'm grateful about y'all is that y'all
not as organized as me and I'm but I'm always

(47:54):
grateful for y'all's contrast because it reminds me one to
stay on my shit. Two to have grace and grace
and compassion is so important in any sort of relationship.
But there are things that you guys have that I
don't as much. I love people, but I struggle with

(48:15):
the togetherness of it. Right. So that's also me being
accountable to being like y'all invited me out like three
times and I was like, yeah, bitch, sleep. So it's
so I do still see us as equals, as friends
and co creators, and it's not that we're equal on
all of the same levels. When we get on the
phone and we're talking about shit, I'm telling y'all, this

(48:35):
is how you can move forward in business, this is
how we can move forward in life. And you guys
are just by mere existence reminding me the importance of
a counterpart, and so we're still equal. So it doesn't
have to be in all everything that I have, you
need to have in double. It's we need to have
a similar mindset, similar goals, and we need to be
able to lift each other up in different ways. Let

(48:57):
me be more clear on that. P help, but think like, okay,
like this man has a six figure salary, I have
a six figure mentality or six figure like you know,
I'm a multiplier, Like I'm gonna I'm gonna help you
invest that and we're gonna do that together because I
know that I'm a valuable asset to this relationship and
to those six figures. And it's like the difference between like,
you know, being inspired and then but also but then

(49:20):
having inspiration versus expectation basically, you know. And it's like
it's one thing to be inspired by someone, that's another
thing to say, like, well I deserve this, you better
give me that, and I don't have it, but you do.
So yeah, And I think even on the flip side,
maybe he's not a six figure earner or she's not
a six figure earner right now, and we keep telling

(49:40):
people like you can you can't date off for potential, No,
but you can date off a trajectory. You can say
your mindset is there. I see you have the discipline,
the consistency, and you're moving up and I'm willing to
be a part of that journey. Like, I have to
be honest with myself. I'll be like, girl, be fucking
for real. I'm a seven figure earner. Do you know
how many five black I think I'm dulle with bitches? Mean,

(50:04):
I think I think I ask in three months seven
figure earners there are. So it's it's I'm not saying
like he's got to have as much money as me,
but I'm like, he's got to understand and value my
desire to contribute meaningfully into the world. So if when
I'm dating someone, if I'm like, oh, I'm working, I'm
working and it's not even impeding on my ability to

(50:26):
spend time with them, but I'm like I'm working, They're like, oh,
you work too much. Last conversation because when I was
talking to my wealth manager, they're like, what age do
you want to retire? And I was like, WHOA, why
would I do that? I love what I do. I
will do what I'm doing in some capacity to my end,
and so I probably need to be with someone who
who understands that my goal isn't to work until I'm

(50:47):
seventy and then die at seventy five, like I want
to retire in small bits now a month, a month
in another country, but then eleven months working hard, like
it's the now. So it's it's not that he has
to have everything that I have, but it needs to
understand that my mindset and where I'm headed in life
and to feel like there is some there is some

(51:09):
alignment in that path. You know, you said something earlier
too about women or people date and then they you know,
to be chosen and they're like, damn, do I even
like this person?

Speaker 3 (51:20):
Did I choose?

Speaker 4 (51:21):
But I think a lot of times two people are
like do you even like yourself?

Speaker 2 (51:25):
Start there?

Speaker 4 (51:26):
You know, like do you genuinely genuinely like yourself? Because
I think one of the things I think about often,
or I have thought about throughout my life is like
I one of my biggest fears was like dying and
not feeling like I've I.

Speaker 3 (51:40):
Was who I said I wanted to be. That scared
me more than.

Speaker 4 (51:44):
Anything I'm like, if I die, and I haven't even
like cracked the code to the things that I like,
I want to do, And so it really kind of
made me be more accountable about my actions and about
my growth and about am I being the person that
I saw myself being as a child, you know, in motion?
And like, am I and does the things that the
actions that I do and the steps that I take

(52:05):
are they leading to that path? And I think sometimes
if we're caught up on just getting stuff and accumulating
people and relationships, you like, you haven't if you haven't
taken the chance to be like, damn, do I even
like who I am right now? Am I even close
to what I thought I was going to be? And granted,
like our time frame as children is fucked, Like I'm gonna.

Speaker 1 (52:23):
Be thirty, I'm own the house?

Speaker 4 (52:25):
No, but like just understanding, like overall, do you even
like who you are? Because I think also sometimes we're
caught up on judging other people, not realizing that that
judgment is because we're often judging ourselves, like oh my god,
look how fucking silly they are, Look how stupid that
idea is. It's like because you're scared that your idea
is stupid, or you're scared that you're gonna look so

(52:47):
dumb and silly, and so you project that you know
onto other people, and it is it's hard to stop
and be like, damn, am I being judgmental? Because I'm
a hater ass bitch and sometimes you're the hater ass bitch,
you know, Like, are things making me fel secure? Do
I have an attitude against this bitch because she's making
seven figures and she's shaking her ass at the gym,
you know, And I didn't even go to the gym today,
but here she is shaking that ass at the gym,

(53:09):
you know what I mean. And I think in order
to receive joy, you kind of have to like make
sure that you're in alignment in your own fucking and yourself.

Speaker 2 (53:17):
Yeah, no, for sure, and I think like to jump
on that. Until you accept yourself, you will always walk
into a room and feel like a fraud. You will
always question the people who love you, because how the
fuck do you love me when I don't love me?
Either you're lying or you're stupid. Either way, you know,
we tend to push people, you know away for that,

(53:37):
and so all of it turns back to believing yourself
is worthy of that. How do I know that I'm
worthy of love? Because I love me?

Speaker 4 (53:46):
So what I've taken from this conversation is that the
root of manifestation, the root of you know, like really
executing this this this life, of your dreams or of
your visions, is you have to go inside first. In
order to blossom, and to bloom, you have to address yourself.
You have to be willing to go deep into the

(54:06):
trenches without anyone and examine the things, because without that work,
you can never attract other things. The work and the
manifestation always starts with you, like am I drinking enough water?
Am I working on like the things that make me better?
And I think in turn, as you.

Speaker 2 (54:22):
Do that, that outpours into the universe and then you
can really gravitate towards the things that you actually see
in your mind and feel worthy of them because you know,
actually I like who I am because I've gone within
figured it the fuck out. Yeah, No, it's true. And
I think also like a lot of times women need
permission to even be in to do that work. And

(54:42):
that's why like our retreats are so like I've seen
the transformations with these women that come on our retreats
because they finally have made the space to say I
am a hating ass bitch. Let me go explore that
real quick. And granted I had when I've had a
few women that showed up to the retreat and I
was like, ooh, you want it m And I had
to be and I had to find compassion. Thank you

(55:03):
for the contract for real, and I had to say, Erica, Okay,
you've met this person before in other spaces and it
didn't go, well, how are we going to be different here?
Because actually you're here to show these women compassion and
give them space to say, okay, I want to show
up differently moving forward. And you know, a lot of

(55:25):
the women that come on our retreats, they come by
themselves because that's like they're already ready to make the
first step of saying okay, like I don't know anyone here.
The power of the yes, just saying yes to showing
up is the transformation. Yeah, the biggest part of it
that and like I don't I don't know anyone here,
no one knows me from this or that I can

(55:46):
show up however the fuck I want to moving forward?
And the work that we do out there is really
about breaking breaking you down, not in a bad way,
but like disarming you and taking off the me and
really looking in the mirror. And sometimes it's ugly and
like it's scary to do that, but hopefully by the

(56:07):
time you leave, you know, you feel a little bit
the sun has kissed your skin and you're like, Okay,
she's cute. She's got more work to do when she
gets home, but we're gonna start here, yeah, you know.
And that's why, like, I feel so grateful to be
in that space and in the space of wellness, because
too it makes me have to meeting women from all
these different parts of the world and different parts of

(56:30):
their life has taught me such immense compassion in my
everyday life because sometimes I feel like it's easy for
me to like have compassion for people when I'm out
the country and I don't know, I don't know these people.
It's harder for me to have compassion for people that
I actually know, that actually love and I'm like, fuck you.
But I didn't say fuck you to the woman that
was bitching over here in Costa Rica. I said, oh, honey,

(56:52):
it's okay, Like let's talk, but to to someone who's
maybe in my family, I'll be like, I don't really
fuck with you, I don't like you, and I'm like,
let's try to extend. Let's let's come back to like
I try to have the costa rica mentality and be like,
let's not do that here. Let's try to have more
compassion because everyone is showing up in different spaces and

(57:13):
places because of things that have happened or things that
they haven't faced. But it's true, like it's an inside job.
You have to do the work inside to really begin
to like call in what you want outwardly.

Speaker 4 (57:26):
You know, you have to be accountable. Let that be
the theme for the month. Try so you guys, can
you know we had you guys join our fucking open
challenge because we need accountability partners. We need as many
as possible. We've really been intentional about you know, just
doing this thirty day challenge one day thirty one day
challenge more if you started early and just taking time

(57:50):
out for yourself to like quiet all the noise and
do breath work and meditate and do yoga because it's
in those like quiet moments that you get the downloads.

Speaker 3 (57:58):
It's in taking the ten minutes.

Speaker 2 (58:00):
It's that you avoid the anxiety that is bound to
come up when your kids ask you for fifty fucking
things to eat four hundred times in one day. But
the thing is, it is just like you have to
go inside. In order to do that.

Speaker 4 (58:11):
It requires that you take time for yourself, and sometimes
we neglect ourselves. It's easy to neglect ourselves and then
we'd be expected a miracle like No, you have to
take the time to channel whatever those thoughts are because
sometimes all of our voices all the inner voices or
voices of someone else's opinions of other people. So I mean,
I don't know if you guys heard on our last

(58:32):
episode that we are doing the Open Challenge.

Speaker 2 (58:35):
All of our.

Speaker 4 (58:35):
Listeners get the app for free for thirty one days,
and it's really just joining the challenge by doing one exercise,
one practice once a day. It could be like ten minutes,
like what's ten minutes of your day and just being
more intentional and really like this whole eldest shit like
has been created because me and Erica decided to be

(58:56):
intentional once a week and just show up as ourselves
and then say, you know what, like this is who
I've been, but I'm tired of that. I want to
be somebody else and I want to do things different.
And if you've been like following this journey for the
last five years, you know that we've both fallen a
lot of times, and we've both like judged, and we've
both like made fucked up decisions and did a lot

(59:17):
of shit, like changed our mind changed our minds, and
we're allowed to do that, but we would never even
have the opportunity to do that if we weren't like
intentional about taking the time to figure out what the
fuck is it that I actually want and having a
friend and a tribe that is like whatever you want,
you like it, I love it, you know. And yeah,

(59:37):
I just want to encourage everyone just with this conversation,
with this beginning beginning of the year. If you download
the open download open up, join the challenge, it's just
thirty one days. If you're out here in Venice, they
have they have a live class. We should do a meetup, right,
I'm gonna do a meetup, stay tuned for that. And
I'm going to just invite you to be more intentional,

(59:59):
to open up your world to manifest even easier.

Speaker 2 (01:00:02):
And if you need a trip, come to Costa Rica
because it's coming up and I cannot wait. And and
we were supposed to come to our last retreat, to
our last but we're gonna we're we're going to do that.
You're going to do that, but intentional.

Speaker 3 (01:00:19):
This menage friendship is about to blossom.

Speaker 2 (01:00:21):
Okay, I know I loved it when when those words
came out of my mouth, I was like, the three ways. Yeah, yeah,
that's what I said that I minted what no mistakes.
So we're together. We're yeah, for sure. But if you
feel called, because we're even, we balance each other. If
you feel called, definitely check it out. There's still time
to come. We have two sessions February second and February eleventh,
and it's transformational, like it is literally like like a

(01:00:44):
re like the like a super restart. It's like the
intense restart. It's the master class. So click the episode
link in this click the link in this episode description
for more information.

Speaker 4 (01:00:58):
Yeah okay, oh yeah, before we leave today, I know,
you know, a boo got shit to do. She's a
very busy professional woman. But she picked a card and
she picked the tennis swords reversed you know, we usually
don't do reverse, but I actually know what this reverse
card means. So shout out to mahogany Taro Kaushira for

(01:01:22):
a blessing us with her black and brown cards that
we love so much. So the tennis swords reversed indicates
that you are combating an inevitable change or ending because
you are not because you're not ready to face up
to what is happening. However, the more you resist, the
more the situation will continue to drag you. So it's
time to rip off the bandage, however painful that might be,

(01:01:44):
and get this over with so you can start fresh.
Trust that everything is happening for a reason. Even though
it may be difficult to understand what you're going through, no,
it is leading to your personal growth and regeneration in
the long term. Similarly, the tennis swords reverse may represent
an old situation that ended badly. You are still carrying
around wounds from it, but you have buried them so

(01:02:06):
deeply that you do not realize they are still present
and hurting you. These old pains need to be dealt
with once and for all. It may be difficult to
delve back in, but it's the only way to release
yourself of this pain and allow it to pass from
your life. It encourages you to reevaluate your circumstances and
let go of aspects of your life that no longer
serve you. Rather than dwelling on the painful pass, look

(01:02:27):
ahead and realize how the events free you. Free you
up to reshape your life and choose a new direction
for yourself. You can free yourself of your past and
create a new sense of self. Happy fucking New Year.

Speaker 2 (01:02:39):
Happy fucking New Year. I already know exactly what that's about.
You do we got time? Do you got time? I
know I don't think you got a lot of time.
I don't got a lot of time. But let me
tell you what happened. So I discovered yoga and I
didn't discover yoga. I just cover yoga for myself. It's
big claims, backing them up right, exactly two thousand thirty

(01:03:03):
four to be exact. So yoga saved my life, It
really really did. And immediately when I really found myself
and I found my practice, remember I was like, I
want other women to feel like this. So trap Yoga
Bay the brand. The company took off within like literally
a week of me starting three years in right before

(01:03:24):
the pandemic, I was still touring ten months out of
the year, and y'all, I fucking hated it. Like I
just was so tired. I really, to be honest, I
couldn't distinguish who was Brittany and who was trap Yoga Bay.
Like I just was like full time trap Yoga Bay
and just did not have enough of my personal life.
And I had to go back to therapy because I

(01:03:45):
felt like I had betrayed myself. The one thing that
I loved so much, my yoga practice. I sold it.
I sold it every time I would hit my mat.
It was never about my personal development anymore. It was
oh shit, I really love this flow. Let me write
it down, WHATSO will go with this so that I
can teach it. Blah blah blah blah blah. I was
so happy when the pandemic happened for the reason of

(01:04:07):
not having to teach yoga. So everyone's always like when
you're gonna open a yoga studio, and that would give
me so much anxiety. But I still know that my
work in teaching yoga was not done. So I really
like talk about manifesting I in my healing journey to
get back to my mat, I learned to separate my practice,
which is why you never even see me do yoga

(01:04:27):
on Instagram anymore. If you notice people like do you
teach yoga?

Speaker 1 (01:04:30):
Bitch?

Speaker 2 (01:04:31):
But to say, these are the rules of what the
universe will have to bring to me for me to
recognize and go back to teaching yoga so fucking amazing.
So now fast forward, I get a call about a
partnership and everything that I wanted was mad and like
my demands were ridiculous. I was like, I don't want

(01:04:53):
to pay for the venue. I don't want to have
to hire people. I'm not dealing with set design. It
needs to be all profit profit profit. I want like
my face plastered somewhere like literally these which sounds ridiculous,
But is it ridiculous if you can get it? No? Okay?
So so that felt like what the things it are

(01:05:15):
that I'm still letting go of. I'm still like, if
you can hear, I'm not as confident talking about it,
not because it isn't happening, because I'm like the louder
I say it, and the more I say it, I'm like, fuck,
I'm opening for satellite yoga studios in partnership with one
of the biggest fucking hotel chains in the world, and

(01:05:38):
I don't have to worry about so much of the things.
I can just focus on doing what I love, which
is sharing my practice. So I think a lot of
the so many of the wounds and betrayal and heart
life lessons I learned through the rise of the Trap
Yoga Bay brand, and I know that that's still stuff
that I have to work through. And everything is everything

(01:06:00):
is everything, So thank you. Thank you for saying that
I was holding my heart the whole well, thank you
for sharing that. Thank you for sharing that vulnerability, because
I think some people think, especially like people that are
experts in their field, that they've mastered everything, that there's
no fear. Confidence coaches don't have fears, they don't have insecurities.
Like that's a big ass claim that I wouldn't say.

(01:06:20):
I think it's an assumption that people may you know,
so I really it makes it makes you human, and
I love you for your humanness. Thank you, and y'all
come into a yoga class aside from the one that
I'm going to teach at an upcoming retreat. We're working
it out. But when you won't have to pull up
to the moxie.

Speaker 3 (01:06:38):
No, for sure, we're gonna pull up.

Speaker 2 (01:06:40):
Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 3 (01:06:41):
Support our girl.

Speaker 2 (01:06:42):
Well, thank you so much for covering.

Speaker 3 (01:06:43):
Thank you for me.

Speaker 2 (01:06:45):
This was beautiful and amazing. Always so much gratitude and
love and like, let's continue to manifest the best fucking
lives of our dreams because we could have whatever we
want and we will And mm hmm, got a dream?
Can you tell our people where they can find you?

Speaker 1 (01:07:03):
Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:07:04):
Yes, yes, yes, I'm over here making assumptions. Y'all know
me trap yoga bay t r ap yoga, b A
E everywhere. If you're looking for me somewhere, just fucking
google it. I'm pretty sure I'm there. She's there at
googled her and make sure you go subscribe to our
YouTube channel. Please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts.

(01:07:25):
Please please please make algorithm lean in our favor. In
twenty twenty three, make sure you check out our retreat
at the Good Vibe Retreat on Instagram.

Speaker 4 (01:07:35):
The perfect way to start the new year, release some Shit,
have a transformation, meet new friends, go out of the country,
be titties out barefoot in the beach with us, and
if you're looking for a podcast studio, join us here
in lovely Sunny Studio City, California, at our new studio
where you can also have this beautiful set.

Speaker 2 (01:07:57):
Yes you can, and we'll see you guys next week.

Speaker 1 (01:08:01):
Bye. M Solo Record

Speaker 2 (01:08:27):
Las

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Hosts And Creators

Erica Dickerson

Jamilah Mapp

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