April 24, 2024 • 10 mins
Can I help clear things up? ~ Delilah
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Every night on
my radio show, we have Delilah's Dilemmas. We love them all.
(00:24):
When you call or you write with a situation that
you're in and you just need a little advice and direction,
we love them all, and today we wanted to share
some of them with you on Hey It's Delilah. Tonight's
Delilah's Dilemma is from Deanna, who says, my ex husband
and I dated for seven years and we're married for
(00:47):
almost three years. We were high school sweethearts and our
first of everything, our first kiss, our first date. We
divorced and he remarried a year later to someone he
only knew for six months. Then here raised everyone from
his life, me and his mother and his siblings. We've
(01:07):
not seen or talked to him in twenty years, even
though we all live in the same county. I've been
texting a number I have for him, but I never
get any response. I want to try again. We had
a great life, but we were young, and I take
full responsibility for us splitting up. I want him to
(01:29):
give me a second chance. I talked to his mom frequently,
and she misses him so much. His sister passed away
four years ago. He never even reached out. He used
to be so close to her. He changed completely when
he married this wife. Am I wrong for reaching out
to him for a second chance? I now believe he
(01:50):
is my soulmate and the love of my life, and
if he is in an unhappy marriage, I want to
be there for a second chance. Please help me from Diane, Oh, Dianne,
I will have my mother Delilah words for you coming
up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from somebody who has
(02:15):
been divorced for twenty years. He has not contacted her,
talked to her. He remarried and has moved on with
his life and has nothing to do with her. And
yet she says, am I wrong for reaching out to
him for a second chance? I believe he is my
soulmate in the love of my life. Yes, you are wrong.
(02:36):
You are very very, very very very wrong, Diane. He
has moved on, He has no interest in you. The
love of your life would not be ignoring you for
twenty years, Okay, the love of your life is a
person who loves you, not just a person you love.
(02:57):
Here's the problem. You are folks on how you felt
for him all those years ago and how you still
feel for him. You need to focus on how he
makes you feel. And from the day he left you,
he has made you feel completely insignificant because to him
you are You have no significance in his life. It
(03:21):
sounds like his own family has no significance in his life.
He doesn't care. He doesn't even care that his own
sister passed away. So how you could think somebody that
is so callous that they don't even care when their
own sibling passes away is the love of your life?
That baffles me. How could you think somebody who is
(03:41):
this cold hearted is the love of your life or
is worth pursuing. And number two, he's married to somebody else.
He has moved on with his life. He is not
interested in rekindling a relationship with you. So, deane, why
are you focusing on him? He is not interested? Good luck,
God bless you. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from a teenager
(04:11):
who says, I am struggling Delilah with a situation. I'm
a high school student and recently I got into an
argument with a friend who was giving me the cold shoulder,
so I began to distance myself and I began to
hang out with other people. We didn't talk for a while,
then we both ended up apologizing and I thought everything
(04:33):
was good, but then she sent me an aggressive text
asking me if we were going to be friends anymore.
I wasn't about to ditch the other friend that I
had been hanging out with because rude, so I invited
the first friend to set with us. But when I
got to school, she completely ignored me. Again. This has
(04:57):
happened a few times and I've given up. I feel
bad because of the memories that we have together, but
I do not want a friend who runs so hot
and cold. Am I in the wrong? What do you think?
From a high schooler named Em? Am? I will have
my mom and Delilah response coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's
(05:28):
dilemma is from Em, who has a friend who basically
wants to control her, and when Em doesn't go along
with her friend's agenda, her friend punishes her by being
silent by ignoring her by giving her the cold shoulder.
M your friend is not a friend. Well, she's not
a healthy friend. She's somebody who needs to control others
(05:53):
around her, and she needs to control you and who
you spend time with and how you spend time with
them in order to feel secure. And that's not healthy.
I know you got memories, and that's great. I know
you love her, and that's great. But being around people
who are controlling, who are trying to tell you what
(06:15):
you can do and how you can do it and
who you can do it with, and punish you with
silence when you don't obey them or follow their agenda
as not a healthy person and is not going to
get better, not going to get better. People like that
until they look in the mirror and see themselves for
who they really are and get help for their controlling nature,
(06:40):
they only get worse and more demanding and more hot
and cold, because their love and their kindness and their
goodness towards you is dependent upon you following their script.
And I love the fact that you don't follow her script.
(07:02):
I love the fact that you know yourself and know
your mind, and that you are kind to others. So
stand aground, Do not let her or anybody write your
script for you. You get to make those determinations as
to how you want to spend your time and who
you want to spend your time with. Good luck, you're
(07:25):
going to be just fine. You're going to make it
through this, and every day you go and get a
little bit stronger. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from someone named Matt,
who says, my coworker and I have been best friends
for two years. We spend almost all of our free
time together, hanging out, going places, connecting on a level
(07:50):
I hadn't felt in all my life. We've shared things
with each other that we wouldn't tell anyone else. I
recently express my hope that we could date, and she
politely declined. She said she wasn't interested in that with me,
and that she had actually just met someone online. I
am finding this really difficult. She still wants to be friends,
(08:12):
but it's not like it used to be. I would
never want to hurt her, but I also find it
very hard to pretend like everything is the same. It's not.
I appreciate any insight you can offer from Matt. Matt,
I will have my Mama Delilah words for you coming
up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from a young man
(08:40):
named Matt. Matt, you were friend zoned from the beginning.
She put you in the friend zone, a dear friend zone,
a close close friend zone. Very very very few people
I know are able to transition their thoughts from friend
zone to falling in love zone or attraction zone. Probably
(09:05):
one of the reasons that she felt so safe with
you and so vulnerable with you is because you have
been such a good friend. That she is not romantically
attracted to you doesn't diminish your value in her life
(09:25):
at all. You're hurt because you are romantically attracted to
her and it's not returned. But if you really love
her as a person, as a friend, as a human,
you will accept that those are the boundaries that she
gets to set for her life, and you will still
(09:46):
be her friend. But you've been crushing on her, and
she's been loving her friendship with you. She doesn't want
to take it to a romantic level. Love isn't about
getting what you want, It's about accepting somebody where they are.
(10:09):
I so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as
much as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share
more with you each weekday. On eight, it's Delilah
Hey it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have
put together some of my favorite radio moments here to
share with you on our daily podcast. Every night on
my radio show, we have Delilah's Dilemmas. We love them all.
(00:24):
When you call or you write with a situation that
you're in and you just need a little advice and direction,
we love them all, and today we wanted to share
some of them with you on Hey It's Delilah. Tonight's
Delilah's Dilemma is from Deanna, who says, my ex husband
and I dated for seven years and we're married for
(00:47):
almost three years. We were high school sweethearts and our
first of everything, our first kiss, our first date. We
divorced and he remarried a year later to someone he
only knew for six months. Then here raised everyone from
his life, me and his mother and his siblings. We've
(01:07):
not seen or talked to him in twenty years, even
though we all live in the same county. I've been
texting a number I have for him, but I never
get any response. I want to try again. We had
a great life, but we were young, and I take
full responsibility for us splitting up. I want him to
(01:29):
give me a second chance. I talked to his mom frequently,
and she misses him so much. His sister passed away
four years ago. He never even reached out. He used
to be so close to her. He changed completely when
he married this wife. Am I wrong for reaching out
to him for a second chance? I now believe he
(01:50):
is my soulmate and the love of my life, and
if he is in an unhappy marriage, I want to
be there for a second chance. Please help me from Diane, Oh, Dianne,
I will have my mother Delilah words for you coming
up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from somebody who has
(02:15):
been divorced for twenty years. He has not contacted her,
talked to her. He remarried and has moved on with
his life and has nothing to do with her. And
yet she says, am I wrong for reaching out to
him for a second chance? I believe he is my
soulmate in the love of my life. Yes, you are wrong.
(02:36):
You are very very, very very very wrong, Diane. He
has moved on, He has no interest in you. The
love of your life would not be ignoring you for
twenty years, Okay, the love of your life is a
person who loves you, not just a person you love.
(02:57):
Here's the problem. You are folks on how you felt
for him all those years ago and how you still
feel for him. You need to focus on how he
makes you feel. And from the day he left you,
he has made you feel completely insignificant because to him
you are You have no significance in his life. It
(03:21):
sounds like his own family has no significance in his life.
He doesn't care. He doesn't even care that his own
sister passed away. So how you could think somebody that
is so callous that they don't even care when their
own sibling passes away is the love of your life?
That baffles me. How could you think somebody who is
(03:41):
this cold hearted is the love of your life or
is worth pursuing. And number two, he's married to somebody else.
He has moved on with his life. He is not
interested in rekindling a relationship with you. So, deane, why
are you focusing on him? He is not interested? Good luck,
God bless you. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from a teenager
(04:11):
who says, I am struggling Delilah with a situation. I'm
a high school student and recently I got into an
argument with a friend who was giving me the cold shoulder,
so I began to distance myself and I began to
hang out with other people. We didn't talk for a while,
then we both ended up apologizing and I thought everything
(04:33):
was good, but then she sent me an aggressive text
asking me if we were going to be friends anymore.
I wasn't about to ditch the other friend that I
had been hanging out with because rude, so I invited
the first friend to set with us. But when I
got to school, she completely ignored me. Again. This has
(04:57):
happened a few times and I've given up. I feel
bad because of the memories that we have together, but
I do not want a friend who runs so hot
and cold. Am I in the wrong? What do you think?
From a high schooler named Em? Am? I will have
my mom and Delilah response coming up next. Tonight's Delilah's
(05:28):
dilemma is from Em, who has a friend who basically
wants to control her, and when Em doesn't go along
with her friend's agenda, her friend punishes her by being
silent by ignoring her by giving her the cold shoulder.
M your friend is not a friend. Well, she's not
a healthy friend. She's somebody who needs to control others
(05:53):
around her, and she needs to control you and who
you spend time with and how you spend time with
them in order to feel secure. And that's not healthy.
I know you got memories, and that's great. I know
you love her, and that's great. But being around people
who are controlling, who are trying to tell you what
(06:15):
you can do and how you can do it and
who you can do it with, and punish you with
silence when you don't obey them or follow their agenda
as not a healthy person and is not going to
get better, not going to get better. People like that
until they look in the mirror and see themselves for
who they really are and get help for their controlling nature,
(06:40):
they only get worse and more demanding and more hot
and cold, because their love and their kindness and their
goodness towards you is dependent upon you following their script.
And I love the fact that you don't follow her script.
(07:02):
I love the fact that you know yourself and know
your mind, and that you are kind to others. So
stand aground, Do not let her or anybody write your
script for you. You get to make those determinations as
to how you want to spend your time and who
you want to spend your time with. Good luck, you're
(07:25):
going to be just fine. You're going to make it
through this, and every day you go and get a
little bit stronger. Tonight's Delilah's Dilemma is from someone named Matt,
who says, my coworker and I have been best friends
for two years. We spend almost all of our free
time together, hanging out, going places, connecting on a level
(07:50):
I hadn't felt in all my life. We've shared things
with each other that we wouldn't tell anyone else. I
recently express my hope that we could date, and she
politely declined. She said she wasn't interested in that with me,
and that she had actually just met someone online. I
am finding this really difficult. She still wants to be friends,
(08:12):
but it's not like it used to be. I would
never want to hurt her, but I also find it
very hard to pretend like everything is the same. It's not.
I appreciate any insight you can offer from Matt. Matt,
I will have my Mama Delilah words for you coming
up next. Tonight's Delilah's dilemma is from a young man
(08:40):
named Matt. Matt, you were friend zoned from the beginning.
She put you in the friend zone, a dear friend zone,
a close close friend zone. Very very very few people
I know are able to transition their thoughts from friend
zone to falling in love zone or attraction zone. Probably
(09:05):
one of the reasons that she felt so safe with
you and so vulnerable with you is because you have
been such a good friend. That she is not romantically
attracted to you doesn't diminish your value in her life
(09:25):
at all. You're hurt because you are romantically attracted to
her and it's not returned. But if you really love
her as a person, as a friend, as a human,
you will accept that those are the boundaries that she
gets to set for her life, and you will still
(09:46):
be her friend. But you've been crushing on her, and
she's been loving her friendship with you. She doesn't want
to take it to a romantic level. Love isn't about
getting what you want, It's about accepting somebody where they are.
(10:09):
I so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as
much as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share
more with you each weekday. On eight, it's Delilah
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