August 24, 2022 • 29 mins
What part of your story are you willing to shed? Which part are you ready to claim? And where, in the library of life, would your story land—fiction, non-fiction, spirituality, self-help, fantasy? Most of us can house parts, if not all of our stories, in a little space on each shelf.Today we discuss the energetic cost of telling ourselves false stories. How this practice, which is deeply human, diminishes our power and prevents us from owning our truth. Self-accountability through the stories we tell allows us to break generational patterns and self-sabotaging habits. Today we ask, are you the victim or the hero of your journey?Earth School is hard, and the book is heavy. But each and every moment, there's an opportunity to begin anew with a fresh, clean page. So, what's your story, and how will you choose to write it?
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side, a production
of My Heart Radio. Hi, y'all, I'm Julie. Hi there,
I'm Brenda. Welcome to Insider's Guide to the other Side.
Now you all need to know that we are obsessed
with everything on the other side. Yes, we are, because
(00:21):
once you learn to navigate the energetic, or to some
the invisible world, life is going to be more fun
and much more serene. Heck, yes it can, because, let's
be honest, brand earth School is hard. In fact, you
taught me that, let's crush earth School together. Well, hello,
(00:43):
my witchy pooh, how in the helleboo are you hellebo
look at that one? Just play that one up. Your
creativity is so good, right, so good, so much fun.
Well how are you? I'm good, and how are you? Well.
(01:07):
I'm sitting in a hotel room recording so hopefully it's
not terrible for everyone, and I'm taking a break from
Keto and I'm having a really fun time. Yeah, it
is fun. It's it's temporary, We're very clear on that.
But we're having a good time eating frosting again. Okay,
(01:27):
I cannot lie. When I got off Keto, what I
did was eating fruit. I was missed so much. Yeah,
I've been slowly working my way right right, Yeah, I
was really introducing blackberries in but that's I mean I
lost in my mind right um. And by the way,
if anybody uses blackberries and smoothies, buy them fresh at
(01:50):
like a Costco or Sam's and put them in freezer bags.
They're better than if you buy them frozen, like you
freeze the freshman as yourself. They're so it's amazing. That's
what I started doing. But yeah, fruit for sure, But frosting,
frosting of fruit, and what kind of frosting, because you know, buttercream,
but cream and flavors. You have flavors buttercream just plain
(02:11):
as butter cream, vanilla vanilla, not chocolate Nope, No, like
raspberry nope, straight up yep. And you're ma, you're making
it yourself out of the can. What are you doing?
Oh no, oh no, you can't do the can. Not
if you're not if you're off keto, they can't. No,
that is not no. If you're doing it, you're getting
the good ship from the bakery. You go to a
(02:33):
bakery and buy frosting. You got a bakery and buy
something with frosting. Oh, buy something with frosting. Yeah, Like
I love a good sugar cookie with butter cream frosting
on it. I grew up on this, and especially when
it's stacked really high where you can measure how high
it is, Like like if you put a ruler next
to it and it registers, there's a good ass cookie.
(02:56):
It's not cupcakes, not cake. Okay, no, it has to
me measurable. Oh my god, and take your ruler. I mean,
if you're going like, don't do anything, happens that's true. Yeah.
So we're just doing a little you know, we're just
having a little detail. Our our birthdays are coming up
(03:17):
and so we're just we're pregaming with frosting. Yeah, it's
really good. And we had pizza, like real pizza for
the first time in a long time, and it's like
this is what crust tastes like, you know. But again,
it's all it's just a reminder it's not a life thing. Um.
You know. That's awesome and while you're on the road,
you know, makes it adventurous. It inter right, because for
(03:41):
those of you who have been to Austin lived in Austin,
the Hula Hut is on the agenda tonight, um so
delicious and it's like car delicious. So we're pretty excited
about the Hula Hut tonight. But anyway, that's how I'm doing.
Is I am eating my way through. Just make sure
you hit hell Royo from okay, okay, yeah? Where is it?
(04:02):
Is it downtown? They have two locations. Less I heard
who knows him? Ella Royal? Okay, I'm saying it out loud,
so Suzanne can hear me Ella Royal? L Royo, oh
l a Royo. Okay, yeah, it texted to me. You're
the one who's half Mexican. I'm like half alf It's
(04:25):
not fair. I can't expect me to understand what the
hell you're saying. They have great case, so I mean
it's you're an awesome ok So, yeah, Suzanne lot's case.
So she'll get an IVY. Seriously, ill I V frosting,
She'll I V case. Oh my god, oh my god.
This case is kind of still sort of keto. Let's
be honest then, but if you introduce the tortilla chip,
(04:47):
I was gonna say, it's the vat of chips of
chips exactly. Yeah. So now that we've spent four minutes
talking about my my my food disorder U and measuring
frosting on a key to decide if it's good or not.
So I just had to add to one quick thing
that this it reminds me of one of Suzanne's dearest friends.
And his name is Tony. And Tony does nails. He
(05:09):
it's not Tony with an eye. He does nails in Dallas.
And in fact, one time one of his um he
called one of his clients and the husband answered and
he put the phone down. He goes, Honey, your nail
faggets on the phone. I mean that's Tony. Um. And
Tony is a big Italian boy and um. When we
would go about to eat, he would hold a plate
and if it was heavy, he said, oh, this is
(05:29):
going to be good tonight. Everything was based on the
weight of the food. Seriously, never heard of anything like that.
Oh it's you haven't met Tony yet, but you will.
He literally will hold two plates. I'm doing it right now.
He'll hold two plates and the heavier one he'll eat it.
But so that reminds me of my frosting issue. Anyway, UM,
so here we go. Eventually, are with me, have no
(05:55):
idea where she's going on, no idea. She stopped. She stopped,
That's what happened. She stopped on the fifth has been
really fun though. UM. So today today our real topic
is not about frosting measurable frosting on cookies. It is
actually to talk about these stories that we tell ourselves.
(06:16):
And it was really interesting because I'm gonna give the
origin story of why this was I think such a
fascinating to me, a very fascinating thing to talk about, um,
because it has to do with our origin story. So
we are like doing the meta origin here right now
is um. Susanne and I just put our house on
the market and and it's a lot of physical work.
(06:38):
The resort is on the market. We're we're going to
make our way to Santa Fe and so we did
a ton of work to the house. It looks amazing.
Couldn't be happier about it. And we did this really
beautiful like the night before, we did this really beautiful
ritual about you know, cords and attachments and giving thanks
(06:59):
and forgive nos and all the things to open it
up energetically for whoever you know, were to come in
and buy the house. It was nice and clear and
clean for them. The next morning, I realized I'm like
a crap. I didn't talk to my dad yet and
asked him not to scare people. I promised this story
does have a end, and so the episode do we
(07:21):
have that episode number one? I don't know which number
that about my dad like roaming the halls and scaring people.
But that's why it's like, I know my dad can
scare my ghost. Dad can scare people. I mean he's
been on the other side now for forty forty years,
so he's a pro. So he walks our halls, protects
our house. I see him. In fact, I was actually
(07:42):
looking at pictures at the realtorto to see if I
could see Dad, like it's that's how much he's there.
And when I was talking to Dad and thanking him,
I still do this ongoing apology to him about a
story that I used to tell, and it was the
story that you told. Well, Dad told you to tell
me the first time when you did, uh is the
(08:04):
first time you said, you go, let's try to do
a group reading on the phone. This is when we
lost Mona to the other side and when she gained
her wings and you're like, let's let's get on the phone.
Always had wings just always accord right, seriously, tinker Bell wings.
At least it's actually very true, I assume. So she
(08:25):
said it. Yeah, I'm Mona, let me still talk about you.
There's a Mona junior now. But anyway, um so, so
she is, she's saying ship No, I'm just okay, good.
I know, I know. I'm like, I'm like a ping
pong ball right now. So, um So, when you did
(08:46):
the reading for Jim Ruben and Susanne and I, all
of like those of us that had parents are relatives
on the other side, all came forward. And so when
my dad came forward, he had said that when the
first things that you told me, he said was you
can stop telling people that you did not have a
dad growing up. And Suzanne elbowed me next to me
(09:08):
as by the way, I'm sobbing. So this has been
really clear. She's beating me while I'm sobbing, she's kicking
me while I'm down, but she was she was elbowing
me to say, oh my god, you say that all
the time, and she was, that's part of your story
and right, and so then it gives me chills too,
because I remember when he said that, I'm like, what
(09:31):
like because I didn't know. I didn't know that was
of course you didn't know. Yeah, but it was part
of my story and it was and it was actually
and here's the thing, and now I think back at
it because there's been a few stories that I've told
in my life that I've changed. I changed the story
of my dad. I never say, I've never since that
day so that I did not grow up without a
father at one is He's right, and I want to
(09:53):
honor him. But I did it, I think for sympathy reasons,
and I'm not I'm not lying. I think I did.
A kid. You figured it out, like, well, how can
I make this story work for me? Right? Right, exactly right?
And it did. But I stopped because I don't need that,
especially from the mother who told me that sympathy. If
you're looking for sympathy, you can't mind it between ship
and symphilis in the dictionary because you're not getting it
(10:15):
from me. So the fact that I know that makes
a sympathy card even that much more odd. Um so right.
And then the other one I used to tell was,
you know, I've worked hard in my life, there's no doubt,
but not to where it was debilitating. And there were
times like I'm so tired, I'm so whatever, because I
(10:37):
just added drama too, that was my story. I wasn't
faking tired. How didn't any of those things? I was
having the time of my life. I was exhilarated. Why
was I being so dramatic? And I don't know if
it was because I wanted people to make it think
like I earned what I had. I'm not sure what
it was, but I stopped talking about that ship years
ago too. But these are the stories, right we tell.
Not only do we say them out loud, we tell
(10:59):
them to ourselves, which is even more potent than the
ones that we say out loud, because there's a lot
more we say in our head than we say out loud,
and we are a our audience, and everything we say,
everything we think. Everything we say. If you say a
lie over and over again, eventually you believe it and
(11:21):
every system in your body fires according to that misinterpretation
that skew of the truth. That story you know that
you think from an ego prospective works for you, but
it's actually diminishing you. Correct it's really expensive. So so
it is expensive. So me telling the story all those
years I didn't have a dad, I started to believe
(11:44):
that I didn't, you know, And then I know there's
a point that I mean, listen, I'm sure there's a
ship ton of other stories. I've told myself that those
are the two that I guess I'll stay on the show.
But those are. But but they're really important though, because
I mean, one is family, one is work, right, and
but there are stories that they're not necessary. You start,
(12:04):
you know, I started creating illusions about it, and I
start believing it. My life starts to go in that
direction because we have some we are all so incredibly
powerful that I think and that it's so important to um.
I actually gave somebody this homework and I said, do
me a favorite right down, all of your stories that
you tell people, Like if you were to hit play
(12:25):
on your I say tape, because I'm sucking old to
play on that eight track, hit play on that says Grandma,
hit play, And what stories come out about you? What
stories are you saying out loud right? I had somebody
to do that, and it was fascinating and it was
mostly full of shit. A necessary shit, And I say, ship,
(12:48):
It's just it's not what I mean. It's not like
it's it's just it's it's a necessary it's a necessary illusions.
It isn't look our school is hard, right, we say that,
we we talk about it all the time, But when
we are uncomm ansciously or unaware of how we diminish ourselves,
that is ship like ourselves is an inside job, right,
(13:09):
And and the good news about that, the great news
about that is that you can make another choice, yes, right, yes,
Because now the story I tell about my dad is
that how incredibly proud that I am to be his kid,
and how very much that that man loved me because
he did, like with everything in his body. So that
(13:32):
changes the whole story. It changes how I look at
the world. It changes how I look at Dad's It
changes how I look at myself, how I look at him,
And it changes how also people look and can learn
or not learn from me. Right to being honest so good,
that's so, that's so beautiful, so empowering right, and so
(13:55):
loving right and healing. It's beautiful. And then there's the
other side too, right, where you know, we can make
people seem like they are invincible. We did a lot
with our parents in the parent realm where we can
talk about something like they are godlike when they are
just as fallible because they're humans. Is the rest of
(14:16):
us are? Or if someone's passed on, we often you know,
make them into sainthood. You know we do, right, Yeah,
we definitely con saint people. And have we taken a
break yet? Are we gone? Just on? I think we
may have just blown through this. We're going to take
a break. Yeah, we're gonna recoup here and take a break.
(14:39):
By the hell are we doing? And welcome back from
our extended introduction. You are a nut job from the
word vomiter u the lord. So I was thinking it's
(15:02):
the carbs way, possibly that possibly it's the inches fall sugar.
So I was thinking it might be helpful for our
to break it down. Did you give people an example,
like when you said do you ask someone to write
their stories? Do you have any examples? You know, in
(15:23):
a sanitized version of course that that would honor them,
But give people an example of like, oh, this is
what I was aware of, and this is the shift
I want to create. Yeah, I think that you know
I can do it a very general way, and I
think this general way is not even it's not specific
to any one person, but it's actually interestingly a theme.
(15:44):
So as you were talking, I closed my eyes and
I was like, what should I tell? And what landed
in my head was this. And what I have seen
consistently and what I found within myself is that so
many of the stories that we tell in a lot
of cases, we we become the victim, right like we
(16:06):
diminish our power and so we do it's not my fault,
I didn't do anything, or look what was done done
to me upon me? All of those those are the
stories that I have found to be so consistent is
that when we are taking our power away. And I
think one of the reasons that we do that though,
is I think that you know, we we all we
all try to find ways to connect, right, and I
(16:27):
think one way that we try to connect or people
to bring us in is that area to sympathize, you know.
It's like, you know, for me, say, I never had
a dad, It's like I was that you know, bird
with a broken wing, and that's how I saw it, right,
And I think a lot of people do the broken
wing stuff more and it tends to be women and
(16:50):
men do it. I've noticed yea, and quite frankly, you
can see it an advertising too, where people whether the
advertisement is do you this challenge, it's not your fault,
there's a gene or there's a this you know this,
and it's like, oh, I'm I'm I'm a victim here.
Let me let me, you know, explore what you're offering, like,
(17:12):
because there's something that says I need help or I
can be fixed in some way which absolves your responsibility.
Who doesn't want to live without responsibility for a moment
and then you're like, hey, wait a minute, this is
my life. I'm accountable to me ultimately, right, no matter
what's going on in the surface. One day you're going
to jump our school because those are the rules. And
(17:33):
then you're going to be accountable to yourself and you're
going to sit down with your spirit helpers and you're
going to review everything you did and be accountable to yourself,
not to anybody else. Right, So why not take that responsibility? Now?
Get used to it. It's okay, you know, like, you know, literally,
go ahead, I was gonna say I'm so sorry. A
(17:53):
big one was I'll just say it was actually with
my brother and he has is this thing. It's like
my mom died of Alzheimer's, so I'm going to get Alzheimer's.
Like and I think that's a big thing that a
lot of people have, is when someone they've lost someone
of a disease and they think that they're going to
get it and I and he's like, aren't you worried?
(18:14):
I got No, He goes, you don't think about it.
I'm like, no, I don't. Actually I did in the beginning,
but no I don't because that power is me. I
might look like the woman, but I am not the woman.
I mean, I couldn't love anybody more than her. But
I don't have to go like that. That is I.
I don't choose to go like that. And he looks
(18:35):
at me, of course, like I'm an alien and um
and he's like, well, they have all these trials and
then you can get tested whatever. And I'm like, he goes,
are you But he's like, are you not doing because
you you're scared. I'm like, no, I'm not doing it
because I'm not going to That is not what's gonna
take me out. I'm gonna go in to blaze of
glory just f hy. I don't know what it is,
but I'm going to blaze the glory and then I'm
(18:57):
gonna be back and haunt everybody. That's what I'm doing.
That's my plan. Noted, that's awesome. I do think. You know,
the epo genetics has proven that you can have the pattern,
but it doesn't get activated, right, and so one way
to activate it is to focus upon it. Yes, it is,
(19:17):
and I have told him that, and I will continue.
And it's not It's not about judgment, right. Everyone could
say yeah, but but I would also say, you know,
in the smallest ways, like when you were talking about
universal ways that people you can we'll do this. It's
not my faulse sort of thing. Is the phrase. I
have to and I don't care if it's I have
(19:40):
to do the dishes. I have to have this really
hard conversation instead of I get to I get to
influence and choose how I engage my life force. Right,
I have to go grocery shopping. I get to go
to a store that houses all the food for me. Yeah.
(20:00):
It wasn't always like that, correct, It wasn't totally true. Yeah,
and not for nothing. I do love to roam those aisles.
I can get lost. But you know, it's funny about
it back to food. It's thought about measuring frust. It
is truly about. It's a very funny place. It's a
(20:21):
place I can't even tell you what I do when
I'm walking around, but it's like a place to think
for me. I know that's strange, but it's anyway. It's
a grocery store. Um but I but, but you're right though,
it's like and I do think it's important. In fact,
I am going to start a practice every month. Seems
a little extreme, but you know, a couple of times
a year to write down what my story has been
(20:43):
and what story am I telling myself. It doesn't really
matter what It matters what I say out loud, but
the one I tell myself and and to be like,
is that really? Is that really who I want to be?
And I do do it. I just think I need
to write it down and I think writing it down
would be really help. And so if anybody is open
to a homework assignment, I would give that one a
whorld and assess it. Yeah, without without a doubt, without
(21:08):
a doubt, and without judgment, and quite frankly, I would,
because I do give this assignment. I love that I would.
I would break it down because there are three domains
for really, but three domains that people focus in. Right,
one is going to be love. Right? What are my
stories about relationships? What do I believe about partnerships? What
(21:30):
I believe about how people show up for me? What
do I believe about how I show up for other people?
What do I believe about trusting relationships? Like any of those,
but those should be great starters for you to cultivate.
And then the same with career, which is a it
can be about making money, but it's really about reputation,
(21:50):
Like what's my value? What's my confidence in my relationship
with my career? What's my worthiness to the craft that
I'm I'm participating in? How do I feel about it?
How do I it treat me like because you're in
a relationship with it? And then money? Is this the
(22:11):
third one, which is how do I feel about money?
One of my earliest memories about money? What what are
the patterns I saw when I was a child be
played out about money? How was it talked about it?
Was it ignored? Was it the stress point? Was it
like you know, completely invisible, like what and then what
what's my current day relationship? How do I engage with money?
And then the last one, which I said three possibly
(22:33):
four is about health depending for many people there's nothing activated,
but how do I feel about wellness? Body minded? Spirit?
And that includes grocery stores and food. It may include frosting,
it may not. That's a personal choice and frosting should
be included in everyone, but continue. But but there is
(22:56):
no doubt I really think it's helpful to go through
those specific categories instead of because sometimes you're just like
what stories am I telling? It can be too broad
for people, but those stories can change and and really
it's a nice check in, you know, if you if
you do those three topics once a quarter, right every month,
(23:18):
make it you know, whether I'm going to it's going
to be career, relationships, money or whatever order you're going
to do, just do it and just check in, like
how is this? How is this coming up for me?
And then if something happens in your body or is
getting your attention or you want to change something, you
can rotate that in or you know, do you do you?
But sometimes just doing that deep dive, even for like
a week or two can be really helpful. So I
(23:39):
think that is really great advice. So I'm going to
do it more organized the way that you get. So
I'm taking your assignment and I'm gonna mind that means
that mine will be more focused. So I hope everybody
else will make their's were focused as well, because that's
amazing advice that it really is. It's it's so important,
like we spend so much time on so much external right,
so external things that that to do that work for yourself,
(24:03):
to look at those, and I like the four areas
to tell you the truth. I like keeping health in
there as a as a continual one, especially given and
I think it's also it's an age thing sometimes like oh,
without a doubt, like something you know, if you're a
run in your twenties, it's not it's not a thing.
I didn't think twice about anything health when I was
in my twenties. Yeah right, you're justever. I drink and
smoke and a double frosting. So it's like I had
(24:26):
no consideration that I was going to live past apparently,
or no desire. I guess I'm not sure what it is,
but um, but but you're right though, I think health
is important. Yeah, we're going to take our second break
right now, and we're gonna wrap this up when we
come back and we're back with the Witchie of Pooh
(24:50):
to conclude for you nicely, naicely done. So I just
want to, you know, as why we write down the
stories or all the stories or find a partner like
what did you find out about when you did your inquiry?
Like that's a really nice way to do it. I'm
gonna do this. You want to do this with me?
Can be nice? You know, awareness practice or mindfulness practice.
(25:12):
So when you find yourself repeating the same story that
you've identified as diminishing your vibration or your frequency or
your ability to engage in your own soul exploration, then
you don't beat yourself up. You're like, oh, I heard
it this time, because these are patterns that have been
(25:32):
set for a really long time. So it's super critical
that you do not get super critical that you approached
this practice with compassion and awareness full stop. If you're aware,
you've won exactly right, it's really important. And if you're
not aware, let your ghost dad tell you nice. Nice,
(25:57):
But you know, when you're in you're like, oh, I
heard that one, do you know? Let me try this again.
I'm working on a little something here, let me try
this again. Yeah, yeah, I think it is. You know,
awareness is that you're winner when you're aware. Yeah, it's
so it's so important because then it doesn't just go
into the unconscious like this is true. This is true,
(26:19):
This is true. And it could be just when you
put on a pair of pants and they're a little
snug like, you know whatever it is, cample, you know whatever. No,
stop thinking, oh, these pants don't fit this body. That's silly.
Why are they in my closet? You know, like just
in the smallest ways, um, right? Can it can be
super helpful because that will help a lot with the
self beating. It will help a lot with the like
(26:40):
over dramatization of things. It will help so much with
the not seeking sympathy because you know, you can find
it between ship and stiff listeners all those things. You know, Um,
just to be really honest with ourselves. So and you'll
just you'll you'll literally have more energy to run more
(27:00):
life instead of these these stories that don't know that
weren't real to start with. That's great, So I thank
you for talking about this. I just you know, Dad
reminded me, thank you Tom, Thank you Tom. Um. He
likes a good shout out. And but I it just
felt like it was something that we all struggle with
(27:21):
in one degree or another. And their conversations I've been
having privately with those that I care about, and it
felt like, okay, when those things start to happen, it
feels like it's time for us to you know, surface
it to everyone. Yeah, So thanks everybody for listening because
it was it felt important to me. I hope it
felt important to everyone else. Yeah. And just if you
try it just for a week, to start it for
(27:44):
a week and you will see how like this one
thread goes so deep it will blow your mind. We
want to hear about it. So yes, we do give
us a shout out. Let us know how go how
it's going. That would be great. And remember the school
is high without the other side and your go stab.
Thanks everybody, Thank you write your stories. That's right. Thank
(28:14):
you for joining us everyone, and a special thanks to
our producer Joey pat and our executive producer Maya Cole
Howard who guides us well we guide you hit us
up on Instagram at other Side Guides, or shoot us
a note at high Hi at vibes dot Store. We
want to know what you think, We want to know
what you know, and we want to hear your stories
(28:37):
and remember, our school is hard without the other Side.
Insider's Guide to the other Side is a production of
I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio,
visit the i heart Radio app, Spotify, Apple podcast, or
wherever you get your podcasts.
Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side, a production
of My Heart Radio. Hi, y'all, I'm Julie. Hi there,
I'm Brenda. Welcome to Insider's Guide to the other Side.
Now you all need to know that we are obsessed
with everything on the other side. Yes, we are, because
(00:21):
once you learn to navigate the energetic, or to some
the invisible world, life is going to be more fun
and much more serene. Heck, yes it can, because, let's
be honest, brand earth School is hard. In fact, you
taught me that, let's crush earth School together. Well, hello,
(00:43):
my witchy pooh, how in the helleboo are you hellebo
look at that one? Just play that one up. Your
creativity is so good, right, so good, so much fun.
Well how are you? I'm good, and how are you? Well.
(01:07):
I'm sitting in a hotel room recording so hopefully it's
not terrible for everyone, and I'm taking a break from
Keto and I'm having a really fun time. Yeah, it
is fun. It's it's temporary, We're very clear on that.
But we're having a good time eating frosting again. Okay,
(01:27):
I cannot lie. When I got off Keto, what I
did was eating fruit. I was missed so much. Yeah,
I've been slowly working my way right right, Yeah, I
was really introducing blackberries in but that's I mean I
lost in my mind right um. And by the way,
if anybody uses blackberries and smoothies, buy them fresh at
(01:50):
like a Costco or Sam's and put them in freezer bags.
They're better than if you buy them frozen, like you
freeze the freshman as yourself. They're so it's amazing. That's
what I started doing. But yeah, fruit for sure, But frosting,
frosting of fruit, and what kind of frosting, because you know, buttercream,
but cream and flavors. You have flavors buttercream just plain
(02:11):
as butter cream, vanilla vanilla, not chocolate Nope, No, like
raspberry nope, straight up yep. And you're ma, you're making
it yourself out of the can. What are you doing?
Oh no, oh no, you can't do the can. Not
if you're not if you're off keto, they can't. No,
that is not no. If you're doing it, you're getting
the good ship from the bakery. You go to a
(02:33):
bakery and buy frosting. You got a bakery and buy
something with frosting. Oh, buy something with frosting. Yeah, Like
I love a good sugar cookie with butter cream frosting
on it. I grew up on this, and especially when
it's stacked really high where you can measure how high
it is, Like like if you put a ruler next
to it and it registers, there's a good ass cookie.
(02:56):
It's not cupcakes, not cake. Okay, no, it has to
me measurable. Oh my god, and take your ruler. I mean,
if you're going like, don't do anything, happens that's true. Yeah.
So we're just doing a little you know, we're just
having a little detail. Our our birthdays are coming up
(03:17):
and so we're just we're pregaming with frosting. Yeah, it's
really good. And we had pizza, like real pizza for
the first time in a long time, and it's like
this is what crust tastes like, you know. But again,
it's all it's just a reminder it's not a life thing. Um.
You know. That's awesome and while you're on the road,
you know, makes it adventurous. It inter right, because for
(03:41):
those of you who have been to Austin lived in Austin,
the Hula Hut is on the agenda tonight, um so
delicious and it's like car delicious. So we're pretty excited
about the Hula Hut tonight. But anyway, that's how I'm doing.
Is I am eating my way through. Just make sure
you hit hell Royo from okay, okay, yeah? Where is it?
(04:02):
Is it downtown? They have two locations. Less I heard
who knows him? Ella Royal? Okay, I'm saying it out loud,
so Suzanne can hear me Ella Royal? L Royo, oh
l a Royo. Okay, yeah, it texted to me. You're
the one who's half Mexican. I'm like half alf It's
(04:25):
not fair. I can't expect me to understand what the
hell you're saying. They have great case, so I mean
it's you're an awesome ok So, yeah, Suzanne lot's case.
So she'll get an IVY. Seriously, ill I V frosting,
She'll I V case. Oh my god, oh my god.
This case is kind of still sort of keto. Let's
be honest then, but if you introduce the tortilla chip,
(04:47):
I was gonna say, it's the vat of chips of
chips exactly. Yeah. So now that we've spent four minutes
talking about my my my food disorder U and measuring
frosting on a key to decide if it's good or not.
So I just had to add to one quick thing
that this it reminds me of one of Suzanne's dearest friends.
And his name is Tony. And Tony does nails. He
(05:09):
it's not Tony with an eye. He does nails in Dallas.
And in fact, one time one of his um he
called one of his clients and the husband answered and
he put the phone down. He goes, Honey, your nail
faggets on the phone. I mean that's Tony. Um. And
Tony is a big Italian boy and um. When we
would go about to eat, he would hold a plate
and if it was heavy, he said, oh, this is
(05:29):
going to be good tonight. Everything was based on the
weight of the food. Seriously, never heard of anything like that.
Oh it's you haven't met Tony yet, but you will.
He literally will hold two plates. I'm doing it right now.
He'll hold two plates and the heavier one he'll eat it.
But so that reminds me of my frosting issue. Anyway, UM,
so here we go. Eventually, are with me, have no
(05:55):
idea where she's going on, no idea. She stopped. She stopped,
That's what happened. She stopped on the fifth has been
really fun though. UM. So today today our real topic
is not about frosting measurable frosting on cookies. It is
actually to talk about these stories that we tell ourselves.
(06:16):
And it was really interesting because I'm gonna give the
origin story of why this was I think such a
fascinating to me, a very fascinating thing to talk about, um,
because it has to do with our origin story. So
we are like doing the meta origin here right now
is um. Susanne and I just put our house on
the market and and it's a lot of physical work.
(06:38):
The resort is on the market. We're we're going to
make our way to Santa Fe and so we did
a ton of work to the house. It looks amazing.
Couldn't be happier about it. And we did this really
beautiful like the night before, we did this really beautiful
ritual about you know, cords and attachments and giving thanks
(06:59):
and forgive nos and all the things to open it
up energetically for whoever you know, were to come in
and buy the house. It was nice and clear and
clean for them. The next morning, I realized I'm like
a crap. I didn't talk to my dad yet and
asked him not to scare people. I promised this story
does have a end, and so the episode do we
(07:21):
have that episode number one? I don't know which number
that about my dad like roaming the halls and scaring people.
But that's why it's like, I know my dad can
scare my ghost. Dad can scare people. I mean he's
been on the other side now for forty forty years,
so he's a pro. So he walks our halls, protects
our house. I see him. In fact, I was actually
(07:42):
looking at pictures at the realtorto to see if I
could see Dad, like it's that's how much he's there.
And when I was talking to Dad and thanking him,
I still do this ongoing apology to him about a
story that I used to tell, and it was the
story that you told. Well, Dad told you to tell
me the first time when you did, uh is the
(08:04):
first time you said, you go, let's try to do
a group reading on the phone. This is when we
lost Mona to the other side and when she gained
her wings and you're like, let's let's get on the phone.
Always had wings just always accord right, seriously, tinker Bell wings.
At least it's actually very true, I assume. So she
(08:25):
said it. Yeah, I'm Mona, let me still talk about you.
There's a Mona junior now. But anyway, um so, so
she is, she's saying ship No, I'm just okay, good.
I know, I know. I'm like, I'm like a ping
pong ball right now. So, um So, when you did
(08:46):
the reading for Jim Ruben and Susanne and I, all
of like those of us that had parents are relatives
on the other side, all came forward. And so when
my dad came forward, he had said that when the
first things that you told me, he said was you
can stop telling people that you did not have a
dad growing up. And Suzanne elbowed me next to me
(09:08):
as by the way, I'm sobbing. So this has been
really clear. She's beating me while I'm sobbing, she's kicking
me while I'm down, but she was she was elbowing
me to say, oh my god, you say that all
the time, and she was, that's part of your story
and right, and so then it gives me chills too,
because I remember when he said that, I'm like, what
(09:31):
like because I didn't know. I didn't know that was
of course you didn't know. Yeah, but it was part
of my story and it was and it was actually
and here's the thing, and now I think back at
it because there's been a few stories that I've told
in my life that I've changed. I changed the story
of my dad. I never say, I've never since that
day so that I did not grow up without a
father at one is He's right, and I want to
(09:53):
honor him. But I did it, I think for sympathy reasons,
and I'm not I'm not lying. I think I did.
A kid. You figured it out, like, well, how can
I make this story work for me? Right? Right, exactly right?
And it did. But I stopped because I don't need that,
especially from the mother who told me that sympathy. If
you're looking for sympathy, you can't mind it between ship
and symphilis in the dictionary because you're not getting it
(10:15):
from me. So the fact that I know that makes
a sympathy card even that much more odd. Um so right.
And then the other one I used to tell was,
you know, I've worked hard in my life, there's no doubt,
but not to where it was debilitating. And there were
times like I'm so tired, I'm so whatever, because I
(10:37):
just added drama too, that was my story. I wasn't
faking tired. How didn't any of those things? I was
having the time of my life. I was exhilarated. Why
was I being so dramatic? And I don't know if
it was because I wanted people to make it think
like I earned what I had. I'm not sure what
it was, but I stopped talking about that ship years
ago too. But these are the stories, right we tell.
Not only do we say them out loud, we tell
(10:59):
them to ourselves, which is even more potent than the
ones that we say out loud, because there's a lot
more we say in our head than we say out loud,
and we are a our audience, and everything we say,
everything we think. Everything we say. If you say a
lie over and over again, eventually you believe it and
(11:21):
every system in your body fires according to that misinterpretation
that skew of the truth. That story you know that
you think from an ego prospective works for you, but
it's actually diminishing you. Correct it's really expensive. So so
it is expensive. So me telling the story all those
years I didn't have a dad, I started to believe
(11:44):
that I didn't, you know, And then I know there's
a point that I mean, listen, I'm sure there's a
ship ton of other stories. I've told myself that those
are the two that I guess I'll stay on the show.
But those are. But but they're really important though, because
I mean, one is family, one is work, right, and
but there are stories that they're not necessary. You start,
(12:04):
you know, I started creating illusions about it, and I
start believing it. My life starts to go in that
direction because we have some we are all so incredibly
powerful that I think and that it's so important to um.
I actually gave somebody this homework and I said, do
me a favorite right down, all of your stories that
you tell people, Like if you were to hit play
(12:25):
on your I say tape, because I'm sucking old to
play on that eight track, hit play on that says Grandma,
hit play, And what stories come out about you? What
stories are you saying out loud right? I had somebody
to do that, and it was fascinating and it was
mostly full of shit. A necessary shit, And I say, ship,
(12:48):
It's just it's not what I mean. It's not like
it's it's just it's it's a necessary it's a necessary illusions.
It isn't look our school is hard, right, we say that,
we we talk about it all the time, But when
we are uncomm ansciously or unaware of how we diminish ourselves,
that is ship like ourselves is an inside job, right,
(13:09):
And and the good news about that, the great news
about that is that you can make another choice, yes, right, yes,
Because now the story I tell about my dad is
that how incredibly proud that I am to be his kid,
and how very much that that man loved me because
he did, like with everything in his body. So that
(13:32):
changes the whole story. It changes how I look at
the world. It changes how I look at Dad's It
changes how I look at myself, how I look at him,
And it changes how also people look and can learn
or not learn from me. Right to being honest so good,
that's so, that's so beautiful, so empowering right, and so
(13:55):
loving right and healing. It's beautiful. And then there's the
other side too, right, where you know, we can make
people seem like they are invincible. We did a lot
with our parents in the parent realm where we can
talk about something like they are godlike when they are
just as fallible because they're humans. Is the rest of
(14:16):
us are? Or if someone's passed on, we often you know,
make them into sainthood. You know we do, right, Yeah,
we definitely con saint people. And have we taken a
break yet? Are we gone? Just on? I think we
may have just blown through this. We're going to take
a break. Yeah, we're gonna recoup here and take a break.
(14:39):
By the hell are we doing? And welcome back from
our extended introduction. You are a nut job from the
word vomiter u the lord. So I was thinking it's
(15:02):
the carbs way, possibly that possibly it's the inches fall sugar.
So I was thinking it might be helpful for our
to break it down. Did you give people an example,
like when you said do you ask someone to write
their stories? Do you have any examples? You know, in
(15:23):
a sanitized version of course that that would honor them,
But give people an example of like, oh, this is
what I was aware of, and this is the shift
I want to create. Yeah, I think that you know
I can do it a very general way, and I
think this general way is not even it's not specific
to any one person, but it's actually interestingly a theme.
(15:44):
So as you were talking, I closed my eyes and
I was like, what should I tell? And what landed
in my head was this. And what I have seen
consistently and what I found within myself is that so
many of the stories that we tell in a lot
of cases, we we become the victim, right like we
(16:06):
diminish our power and so we do it's not my fault,
I didn't do anything, or look what was done done
to me upon me? All of those those are the
stories that I have found to be so consistent is
that when we are taking our power away. And I
think one of the reasons that we do that though,
is I think that you know, we we all we
all try to find ways to connect, right, and I
(16:27):
think one way that we try to connect or people
to bring us in is that area to sympathize, you know.
It's like, you know, for me, say, I never had
a dad, It's like I was that you know, bird
with a broken wing, and that's how I saw it, right,
And I think a lot of people do the broken
wing stuff more and it tends to be women and
(16:50):
men do it. I've noticed yea, and quite frankly, you
can see it an advertising too, where people whether the
advertisement is do you this challenge, it's not your fault,
there's a gene or there's a this you know this,
and it's like, oh, I'm I'm I'm a victim here.
Let me let me, you know, explore what you're offering, like,
(17:12):
because there's something that says I need help or I
can be fixed in some way which absolves your responsibility.
Who doesn't want to live without responsibility for a moment
and then you're like, hey, wait a minute, this is
my life. I'm accountable to me ultimately, right, no matter
what's going on in the surface. One day you're going
to jump our school because those are the rules. And
(17:33):
then you're going to be accountable to yourself and you're
going to sit down with your spirit helpers and you're
going to review everything you did and be accountable to yourself,
not to anybody else. Right, So why not take that responsibility? Now?
Get used to it. It's okay, you know, like, you know, literally,
go ahead, I was gonna say I'm so sorry. A
(17:53):
big one was I'll just say it was actually with
my brother and he has is this thing. It's like
my mom died of Alzheimer's, so I'm going to get Alzheimer's.
Like and I think that's a big thing that a
lot of people have, is when someone they've lost someone
of a disease and they think that they're going to
get it and I and he's like, aren't you worried?
(18:14):
I got No, He goes, you don't think about it.
I'm like, no, I don't. Actually I did in the beginning,
but no I don't because that power is me. I
might look like the woman, but I am not the woman.
I mean, I couldn't love anybody more than her. But
I don't have to go like that. That is I.
I don't choose to go like that. And he looks
(18:35):
at me, of course, like I'm an alien and um
and he's like, well, they have all these trials and
then you can get tested whatever. And I'm like, he goes,
are you But he's like, are you not doing because
you you're scared. I'm like, no, I'm not doing it
because I'm not going to That is not what's gonna
take me out. I'm gonna go in to blaze of
glory just f hy. I don't know what it is,
but I'm going to blaze the glory and then I'm
(18:57):
gonna be back and haunt everybody. That's what I'm doing.
That's my plan. Noted, that's awesome. I do think. You know,
the epo genetics has proven that you can have the pattern,
but it doesn't get activated, right, and so one way
to activate it is to focus upon it. Yes, it is,
(19:17):
and I have told him that, and I will continue.
And it's not It's not about judgment, right. Everyone could
say yeah, but but I would also say, you know,
in the smallest ways, like when you were talking about
universal ways that people you can we'll do this. It's
not my faulse sort of thing. Is the phrase. I
have to and I don't care if it's I have
(19:40):
to do the dishes. I have to have this really
hard conversation instead of I get to I get to
influence and choose how I engage my life force. Right,
I have to go grocery shopping. I get to go
to a store that houses all the food for me. Yeah.
(20:00):
It wasn't always like that, correct, It wasn't totally true. Yeah,
and not for nothing. I do love to roam those aisles.
I can get lost. But you know, it's funny about
it back to food. It's thought about measuring frust. It
is truly about. It's a very funny place. It's a
(20:21):
place I can't even tell you what I do when
I'm walking around, but it's like a place to think
for me. I know that's strange, but it's anyway. It's
a grocery store. Um but I but, but you're right though,
it's like and I do think it's important. In fact,
I am going to start a practice every month. Seems
a little extreme, but you know, a couple of times
a year to write down what my story has been
(20:43):
and what story am I telling myself. It doesn't really
matter what It matters what I say out loud, but
the one I tell myself and and to be like,
is that really? Is that really who I want to be?
And I do do it. I just think I need
to write it down and I think writing it down
would be really help. And so if anybody is open
to a homework assignment, I would give that one a
whorld and assess it. Yeah, without without a doubt, without
(21:08):
a doubt, and without judgment, and quite frankly, I would,
because I do give this assignment. I love that I would.
I would break it down because there are three domains
for really, but three domains that people focus in. Right,
one is going to be love. Right? What are my
stories about relationships? What do I believe about partnerships? What
(21:30):
I believe about how people show up for me? What
do I believe about how I show up for other people?
What do I believe about trusting relationships? Like any of those,
but those should be great starters for you to cultivate.
And then the same with career, which is a it
can be about making money, but it's really about reputation,
(21:50):
Like what's my value? What's my confidence in my relationship
with my career? What's my worthiness to the craft that
I'm I'm participating in? How do I feel about it?
How do I it treat me like because you're in
a relationship with it? And then money? Is this the
(22:11):
third one, which is how do I feel about money?
One of my earliest memories about money? What what are
the patterns I saw when I was a child be
played out about money? How was it talked about it?
Was it ignored? Was it the stress point? Was it
like you know, completely invisible, like what and then what
what's my current day relationship? How do I engage with money?
And then the last one, which I said three possibly
(22:33):
four is about health depending for many people there's nothing activated,
but how do I feel about wellness? Body minded? Spirit?
And that includes grocery stores and food. It may include frosting,
it may not. That's a personal choice and frosting should
be included in everyone, but continue. But but there is
(22:56):
no doubt I really think it's helpful to go through
those specific categories instead of because sometimes you're just like
what stories am I telling? It can be too broad
for people, but those stories can change and and really
it's a nice check in, you know, if you if
you do those three topics once a quarter, right every month,
(23:18):
make it you know, whether I'm going to it's going
to be career, relationships, money or whatever order you're going
to do, just do it and just check in, like
how is this? How is this coming up for me?
And then if something happens in your body or is
getting your attention or you want to change something, you
can rotate that in or you know, do you do you?
But sometimes just doing that deep dive, even for like
a week or two can be really helpful. So I
(23:39):
think that is really great advice. So I'm going to
do it more organized the way that you get. So
I'm taking your assignment and I'm gonna mind that means
that mine will be more focused. So I hope everybody
else will make their's were focused as well, because that's
amazing advice that it really is. It's it's so important,
like we spend so much time on so much external right,
so external things that that to do that work for yourself,
(24:03):
to look at those, and I like the four areas
to tell you the truth. I like keeping health in
there as a as a continual one, especially given and
I think it's also it's an age thing sometimes like oh,
without a doubt, like something you know, if you're a
run in your twenties, it's not it's not a thing.
I didn't think twice about anything health when I was
in my twenties. Yeah right, you're justever. I drink and
smoke and a double frosting. So it's like I had
(24:26):
no consideration that I was going to live past apparently,
or no desire. I guess I'm not sure what it is,
but um, but but you're right though, I think health
is important. Yeah, we're going to take our second break
right now, and we're gonna wrap this up when we
come back and we're back with the Witchie of Pooh
(24:50):
to conclude for you nicely, naicely done. So I just
want to, you know, as why we write down the
stories or all the stories or find a partner like
what did you find out about when you did your inquiry?
Like that's a really nice way to do it. I'm
gonna do this. You want to do this with me?
Can be nice? You know, awareness practice or mindfulness practice.
(25:12):
So when you find yourself repeating the same story that
you've identified as diminishing your vibration or your frequency or
your ability to engage in your own soul exploration, then
you don't beat yourself up. You're like, oh, I heard
it this time, because these are patterns that have been
(25:32):
set for a really long time. So it's super critical
that you do not get super critical that you approached
this practice with compassion and awareness full stop. If you're aware,
you've won exactly right, it's really important. And if you're
not aware, let your ghost dad tell you nice. Nice,
(25:57):
But you know, when you're in you're like, oh, I
heard that one, do you know? Let me try this again.
I'm working on a little something here, let me try
this again. Yeah, yeah, I think it is. You know,
awareness is that you're winner when you're aware. Yeah, it's
so it's so important because then it doesn't just go
into the unconscious like this is true. This is true,
(26:19):
This is true. And it could be just when you
put on a pair of pants and they're a little
snug like, you know whatever it is, cample, you know whatever. No,
stop thinking, oh, these pants don't fit this body. That's silly.
Why are they in my closet? You know, like just
in the smallest ways, um, right? Can it can be
super helpful because that will help a lot with the
self beating. It will help a lot with the like
(26:40):
over dramatization of things. It will help so much with
the not seeking sympathy because you know, you can find
it between ship and stiff listeners all those things. You know, Um,
just to be really honest with ourselves. So and you'll
just you'll you'll literally have more energy to run more
(27:00):
life instead of these these stories that don't know that
weren't real to start with. That's great, So I thank
you for talking about this. I just you know, Dad
reminded me, thank you Tom, Thank you Tom. Um. He
likes a good shout out. And but I it just
felt like it was something that we all struggle with
(27:21):
in one degree or another. And their conversations I've been
having privately with those that I care about, and it
felt like, okay, when those things start to happen, it
feels like it's time for us to you know, surface
it to everyone. Yeah, So thanks everybody for listening because
it was it felt important to me. I hope it
felt important to everyone else. Yeah. And just if you
try it just for a week, to start it for
(27:44):
a week and you will see how like this one
thread goes so deep it will blow your mind. We
want to hear about it. So yes, we do give
us a shout out. Let us know how go how
it's going. That would be great. And remember the school
is high without the other side and your go stab.
Thanks everybody, Thank you write your stories. That's right. Thank
(28:14):
you for joining us everyone, and a special thanks to
our producer Joey pat and our executive producer Maya Cole
Howard who guides us well we guide you hit us
up on Instagram at other Side Guides, or shoot us
a note at high Hi at vibes dot Store. We
want to know what you think, We want to know
what you know, and we want to hear your stories
(28:37):
and remember, our school is hard without the other Side.
Insider's Guide to the other Side is a production of
I Heart Radio. For more podcasts from my heart Radio,
visit the i heart Radio app, Spotify, Apple podcast, or
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