August 28, 2025 • 29 mins
: Reclaiming Your Joy – Finding Happiness After Pain
What if your happiness was stolen, but your joy never left?
In this powerful episode of Made For This Mountain, host Joshua Rosa confronts the lie that you’ll never heal. If you've tied your joy to people, outcomes, or a version of yourself that no longer exists this one's for you.
Learn how to rebuild your identity after disappointment, break the “when I’m healed” mindset, and rediscover a joy that can’t be shaken by circumstance. Because joy isn’t about ignoring pain it’s about refusing to live in it.
You can miss who you were before the pain and still love who you’re becoming.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So the reality is that for a lot of people,
we have tied our joy to things like we've made
this distinction between what makes us joyful and we equated
with what makes us happy, And the reality is a
happiness is fleeting. Right. Happiness is dependent on something. It's
dependent on action, it depends on the world, depends on
something being possible. And joy is dependent on us. It's
(00:20):
depending on what we believe, what we know, and what
we trust. And sometimes we've allowed ourselves to be lied
to or even misguided on this thought of what our
joy is and what it's attached to, and sometimes even
who's attached to. And in this episode, we're diving into
this reality right where we make this mountain of where
our joy is and we give power and authority to
certain things to either dictate how our joy is spent
(00:41):
or dictate how it's not spent. And I just just
want to preface this by saying that it doesn't mean
that you are free from struggles. Right. Joy doesn't mean
understanding what joy is and living in your authentic joy
doesn't mean that bad things don't happen. It just means
that there's an authority behind who you are and what
you say and what you will allow to hap. So
let's step into this one. This is made for this
(01:02):
mountain with Josh Rosa or turning pain into purpose. So
we talk about reclaiming your joy and finding happiness after pain.
I don't want that word happiness to have such a
powerful uh poll here. I don't want you to think
that you need to feel one hundred percent happy every
single moment of your life to actually be joyful. That's
like a misnomber. That's one of those things that we
believe are synonymous with each other. We think that if
(01:24):
happiness is real, that for us to be happy, or
for joy to be real, that every situation has to
feel like rainbows and butterflies, like everything has to feel
like it just makes perfect sense and it's clicking, and
it's not. I've learned through my conversation, because of experience
and things that I've just been through, that the most
joyful people not the happiest people. The most joyful people
(01:46):
are the people that can look at terrible things, can
look at adversity, can look at problems, and can look
at all these possible things that people will look at
and make a complete other mountain out of and they
would look at those things and know that those things
don't define the joy in their heart, like feel bad
about the situation. They might feel down, they might feel
a little bit sad, because again that's normal. You are
a human. It's okay to feel. It's okay to feel
(02:09):
like things aren't together. It's okay to feel like everything
is in clicking today because it doesn't always have to
feel like everything is clicking, doesn't always have to feel
like everything is perfect. It's to know that there is
a tomorrow, that there is another day, that there's other options,
there are other ways for you to grow. And yes,
it's okay to grieve. It's okay to feel. It's okay
to understand these things. But don't depend on your life
(02:30):
being only happy and joyful giddy moments. Understand that there
is a little bit of pain, that there is a
little bit of suffering, there is a little bit of anguish.
But this anguish and this suffering and these pains that
we go through magnify the joy that we live in
when we are able to sit and see these things
and don't let these things become our home. Because we
do that often right, we see a struggle, we see
(02:52):
our pain, and we are so afraid or so were
so blinded by it that we don't move away from it,
and we create this home and are hurt. And now
we can't move from here because we've unpacked, You've made
it comfortable for you because you think this is it.
So we start to swap out what's possible with what's happening.
You're not looking at what's probable in the future, but
(03:14):
you're looking at what you're going through right now. And
I want to just be weary of that. And I
understand that it happens. I understand that that's something that
some people just go through because sometimes we lose guidance,
we lose hope, we lose the potential the possibility of this.
But when you begin to give power to things that
you give you happiness, to give you joy, if you
give those things your identity, what happens is that it's
(03:35):
going to define what happens next. And if the thing
doesn't work out how you want it to work out,
then it's going to be hurt. So as we talk
about reclaiming joy, the first thing that we need to
do before we reclaim anything, before we die anywhere in
this episode is this reality that you need to look
at the situations that you're in and going through and
allow yourself to not be swallowed up by it, to
(03:57):
not allow it to dictate what you do next. Because again,
there are so many situations, even in my life personally,
where I've been in situations where things have happened and
I've had to choose either this thing defines my life
or becomes a defining moment where my life changes, it
becomes a part of this next step, and this is everything.
By the way, This is again I know we hurt,
(04:21):
our heart's hurt, and we tend to look at everything
through the scope of relationships. And I mentioned this before
that I don't ever want that to be like a
corner somewhere, because not that it's not important, but it
should be the least important thing, Like relationships are important,
there's value to it, but they should when we talk
about these type of things, it should never be the
center point of everything else. Sometimes again, we've tied our joy,
(04:41):
our happiness to something or someone, and when that thing failed,
we now think that we failed. And there's an internalization
of this that's happening. We look at this situation and
we make it about that. So yes, relationships, of course,
we can't just say that doesn't exist, because it is
a thing, right, you are going to suffer to. But
every aspect, every single aspect of our life, the career
(05:03):
that you wanted, if you wanted to do a specific thing,
you had this vision and this hope and his dream,
and sometimes what happens is you get into it and
it just isn't what you envisioned at all. It's beautiful
from the outside, from the inside, it's not what you
thought it would be. So what happens is that we
have go through this identity crisis because we jumped into
this thing and we tied our joy to it, we
(05:24):
tried our happiness to it, and now it's not what
we thought it would be, and now we're drowning away
from it because we can't change this. We can't move
away from this particular thing. So I want you to
look at that scop. Whatever this is in your life,
whatever person, whatever career, whatever place you're in, We're gonna
try try to reclaim what joy looks like in every
other aspect. It's not just staying in this thing because
it's convenient and it's there. It's understanding that there's something
(05:47):
certain things that can only go so far in our lives,
and we have to create space for what we actually
want right now, but not just what we think we want.
We're told we not not what we sowed ourselves on.
And this is a big one because a lot of
times the salesman in your life is you right. You
sold yourself a dream, you sold yourself a desire, you
sold yourself a hope. I had a friend, and I
(06:08):
won't say names, but he was working in a particular
industry that makes the finance industries, ringing a lot of
money and moving a lot of things, and he wanted
this career path so long. And then he realized that
he absolutely hated everything he was doing. That he hated
the places like he loved being a creative. He was
so good at that. He was a great eye, has
a great eye. And he decided that he was going
to leave this fortune five hundred company, this very very
(06:33):
financially stable job, to go pursue the joy of his heart,
to go pursue the thing that was going to bring
us or bring him the most actually us as a
world right, because when you are full of you, you
give the world what it needs from you, you give
it the fullness of you, and just decided that he
was going to pursue this thing that gave him joy,
that gave him purpose and fruit, and he went in
(06:54):
and he did that thing. And understanding that your joy
is not tied to the thing you thought you wanted,
but it's tied to the person you are, is gonna
be the big takeaway. And we'll talk a lot more
about this after these real quick commercials. So jumping right
back into this this reality that your joy, it's yours right.
Happiness can be stolen like people, Someone can steal happiness
(07:14):
from you, but no one can steal joy from you
like your joy is cemented in what you are and
who you are, rooted in your security and what you
are capable of and what you desire. Happiness is only
based on things that are around there, So people can
steal happiness. If your happiness is based on your car, right,
someone could come and steal your car and their goals
your happiness. But if your joy is cemented on the
thing that you've done to get that thing. When you
(07:35):
see the situation, I'm not saying that it's not bad, right,
because I've said that before that it could be bad
and I might not make you happy, but being joyful,
there's understanding that no one can steal that from you.
They might steal the physical things, but they'll never be
able to steal the deep intellectual and spiritual and emotional
and things that you've felt. Your joy is not based
on a firm list foundations, right, and especially if if
(07:58):
you talk about who our joy is. But there's reality
that when people do things to you, if your joy
isn't based in them, if it's not based in the things,
if it's not based on what they're asking for, and
then no one can steal that. No one can come
to you and reclaim from you what you built. The
biggest lie that we think is that people can take
from us what we've created. They can't. They might take
(08:20):
again the physical things, they can take the money, they
can take the house, they can take the car, but
they can never take what you are rooted. And if
you are rooted firmly in that joy, it's impossible for
that to be stolen. Joy is the foundation of everything,
every step to take, every action we would make, everything
that comes from that is based and founded and rooted
(08:40):
and ingrained in what joy is for us. And when
we begin to look at that reality, we allow ourselves
to just be joyful. We allow ourselves to stop being
these better, miserable humans that are walking around this world
without a purpose because we've created this false dichotomy between
having things and being joyful. We created this this lie
(09:03):
in our world that that is materially material based. And
think about it. The world that you live in, is
that like, think about the world that that we're in
right now. The biggest push is not for like mental health,
it's not for like self love, it's not for faith
based growth, it's not for all these things. It's ultimately
for the materials. And I'm gonna blow your mind. Even
(09:23):
the podcasts you listen to, the videos, you watch, the influencers,
you follow, all these people for the most part, because yes,
there are good people. I'm not disqualifying. It's like throwing
myself in that bunch. I believe I create content that's
good for people, that helps people or help people think
or whatever that might be. But the but the bigger core,
the bigger people, the bigger names that we follow, the
things that we look at, whether consciously or subconsciously, whether
(09:45):
we're aware of this and not. The reason that we
follow them is materialistic because we like or identify with
something or someone that they have there and the lifestyle
that they have, not simply yes, again, not everybody or
we don't all do this, we'll all fall, but for
the main, main purpose of it, we fall for those
things because we have equated joy with having. So if
(10:05):
I have, I will feel I think that if I
look like that person, or if I listen to that advice,
or if I make that kind of money, or if
I'm in that particular sphere, and then my joy is
real because I will have what they have, so I
will feel what I think they feel. And that's just
not the case. Sometimes we we created joy to the
lie of this world. We've created our joy based on
what we think we need to have or look like.
(10:27):
I need to understand that joy has to come from
the inside up, not from the outside. We can't work
on joy from the outside to make it look joyful
because that's not true joy. That's based now and exterior
beliefs and understanding, and that's fleeting internal joy. This comes
from me. It comes from a root of who I
am and who I am in God's ee and who
(10:48):
I am in this world and what I'm called to
be and what I'm being. I'm not falling for this
lie that my joy is based on my halves. I'm
not falling for this lie. For me to be happy
be it has to come from people staying, or people
being or things are around me or the career path
or any of these other things. Your happiness could be stolen,
(11:10):
but your joy can never be stolen, and a lot
of people are going through this disbalance. Our next point
here is that you're not miserable, you're just out of balance.
Like you are not this miserable person. It's just the
things that you are supposed to be in aren't in
balance with what you actually are. Sometimes we're super fixated
on what is happening around us, and so much so
(11:32):
that we don't take a look at what we need
for us, or in us or in ourselves. We look
at what the people, the relationships, the failed relationships, the
money I don't have, the car I don't have. We
super fixate on something that we make that thing the
center point of everything, and then what happens is even
our joy gravitates around that. So how is it that
you expect to be joyful when your joy is gravitating
(11:54):
around pain, and there is a beautiful balance when you
know that that pain can produce purpose, right, because this
is our slogan on this podcast, But that comes from
a place of joy because pain here. Yes it's painful,
like I said, but it doesn't diminish the reality of
who you are. It doesn't rob you of it. You're
able to use it for something different. So there's balance
(12:17):
that we're supposed to feel in this thing that we're
supposed to be. It's only stolen there because of what
we give it. So I need to ask youselfless questions
if you're struggling with this, right, if you feel like
you're in a state of misery or rut or just
just falling back behind something, ask yourself this question, is
this real? And can I do anything about it? Like?
Is this thing that I'm struggling with, this thing that
(12:38):
I feel like is robbing me of my joy? Is
this a genuine thing? Or is it something that I've
just created a mountain that doesn't belong to be in
my life? Because a lot of times what we do
is that we fixate on possibilities and not realities. We
fixate on shortcomings, we fix it on other people shortcomings
our lives, and we make them ours. We make this clean.
This thing that I'm going through, and the thing that
(13:00):
I'm in is so powerful that it controls everything else.
And I need to ask you something that question, is
it real? Like? Is it really something that that has
this much control and this much impact in your life?
And if so, then how do we address that and
how do we grow from that? And if it's not real,
if it's not something that has a genuine impact, and
I'm not diminishing its emotional impact and your attachment to
it and your growth to it. But if it's not real,
(13:22):
why is it that I fixate more on that than me?
Why is it that I give more authority to that
particular thing than the thing that I have the option
to change? And if we move on to that next
point that if it's it is someone else's responsibility, if
it's something that someone did to me, who's responsible for this?
Why is it that I'm fixating on something that someone
said or or did or and just something that that
(13:44):
they're choosing. And why do I make that about me?
Why am I allowing that to be me? Finally, the
last point for that point is get back on track. Like,
if this misery is keeping me out of balance, then
what do I need to do to rebalance? What I
need to move, Who do I need to move, Where
I need to cut, what I need to add? Where
do I need to do more or do less in
(14:05):
my life to make this thing of reality? Because this
is what's happening that for a lot of us, we're
not miserable, we're not sad, we're not depressed, we're not anxious.
We are just out of balance. We're not doing the
things that are feeding the best version of us. And
this could be physical things by the way, like again
go to the gym right, trying to do that better,
or literally scheduling yourself correctly, or sleeping more whatever, drinking
more water like whatever. This is to get yourself on
(14:29):
track is how we respond to these things. So getting
yourself there that's the hard part, right understanding what this is,
identifying it, weighing it out, and then actually stepping into it.
The truth is that for a lot of us are
our life is just out of whack because we haven't
given ourselves the time to do what we need to do.
And I think that becomes one of the biggest struggles
(14:52):
that we go through, and I call this the wind fallacy.
The wind fallacy is when you think things are going
to get better for you. You think when this happens,
when I get this job, and when I create something,
when I'm invited, when I'm liked, when I'm improved, that
that when this happens, I will finally be able to
be joyful. I finally have joy in my life. I'll
finally have the things I need you to understand. That
is a lie that when only happens when you start,
(15:14):
like you can't expect to get good at something you've
never started doing. You can't expect to make a masterpiece
out of something that you haven't even made pieces of.
It's impossible for us to grow and be the best
version of us if we don't start. We keep saying
when I'm ready, but you will never be ready. Why
because in a couple of years you will feel like
you can still be better. In a couple of years
after you've already started, you're gonna look back and say, man,
(15:35):
I could have been significantly better if I had started earlier,
or even now, I'm still getting better than where I'm at.
You could have mastered the thing that you have done.
And this is the difference between people who are successful
in their craft and good in their craft, is that
even when they are considered the best, they still feel
like they can improve. It's not about feeling like you're
the best or feeling like you're ready. It's about starting.
(15:56):
It's about creating the thing now. It's about living the
joy now. It's about living the life now because when
might come and go, Tomorrow might be the last day
you have on this earth, and if you did nothing
that you wanted to, it'd be pointless, like if you
didn't live the life that you were capable of living
and living in the joy that you're capable of living
because you were afraid of when you've made sure that
(16:17):
you missed out, you made sure that you let the
things have happened to you, when that you've let the pass,
When that you let the failed relationships, when that you
let your lie of not being ready win. And this
fallacy of when is a terrible metric to measure a
life by, because we keep looking at the possibility of
(16:38):
a time starting and looking for a perfect moment to start,
and not realizing that there is no such thing. As perfection,
not realizing that even when you start, you will still
feel like you need to improve, even in that moment
of creating something. And I think that for a lot
of people, that's their biggest, biggest, biggest worldblock is the
thought that I will move forward word, when I will
(17:01):
move on, when I will do the thing. When there
is no such thing as when, the when fallacy, the
when this thing happens, It's not going to happen. I
need you to understand that what you will do is
that you will keep kicking the ball down the street.
You'll keep pushing the score poll right, You'll be moving
(17:22):
the poll every single time because you are now creating
a difficulty for you. Why because you might have improved,
you might have looked better this year than the last year,
but you said, you know what, I'm better this year
the last year, So what about next year? And you'll
keep pushing that forward. Whatever this is, whatever is robbing
you of your joy, whatever is keeping you in that
mountain of not being able to claim your joy because
you think that when these things come together, that that
(17:42):
is when you'll be ready. It won't. I need you
to understand that to start now, and this needs to
be the thing that we choose now and we choose
every day, because there is no such thing as perfection.
There's no perfect human. There's no person in this world
that has everything figured out. Absolutely not. Some people could
give great advice, some people could do great things, could
show up in amazing ways, but it doesn't mean that
(18:03):
they know better, that they're more ready or anything, or
more prepared than anyone else. But they're willing to do.
They're willing to start, they're willing to push, they're willing
to create now instead of later. And you will be
stuck in the same place you were yesterday if you
don't start now, if you don't choose this moment, if
you don't choose to create something in a place that
(18:24):
you have the ability to do it. Because I need
to understand that every gift and ability. Maybe finances might
be a problem, maybe time might be a problem. You
could make those excuses. They're not great ones, because a
great excuse will be worked around always. But those are
more valid excuses than saying when I'm ready or when
I feel something. I need you to understand that you
can start now and not feel ready. You can start
this very day and not have it all together. You
(18:46):
can choose to start moving the ball and not even
know where the ball is going. I just need you
to start because you have that ability in you, because
you have the capacity and capability to create something amazing
in this moment, not when you're ready, not one is
all figured out, but right now. And we'll talk a
little bit more about this after this real quick commercial break.
(19:09):
So this reality that you have the ability to start,
You have the talent, you have the gifting. You might
not have the finances, you might not have all the
time in the world, you might not have all these things,
but these are things that we work around, right I'll
use myself as an example. And I don't feel like
I've actually told this much, so I guess this is
a good story to tell. But when I started creating content,
I had a Jeep T three I, which is a
(19:32):
canon Rebel camera, which is like one of those like
you can buy like a Target or a Walmart for
like four hundred bucks and like some really bad lenses.
And I knew nothing. And even to this day, by
the way, a pure example of this, because I'm still improving,
I'm still making so many leaps forward, so I'm not
even a camera that I'm currently shooting on. I know
nothing about this camera. I'm learning it right because there's
a brand new camera that's a very effective one. It's
(19:53):
nice and beautiful. That's what I need and what I'm
going to do for the future. But I started with
if you're very very low budget camera. It didn't look good,
it was out of focus, it wasn't my best quality content.
But it becomes this beautiful testimony and tool today to
show and compare where I was to where I am.
It becomes the storyline of how I improved because I
(20:17):
started because it's speaking. First of all, speaking to a
camera is extremely difficult, like this right now, or a
camera or even the microphone rave on our podcast, which
is our main shoot for this, but even this is
really difficult. And when I bring guests, which again I've
been working really hard at correcting this and make it
something that's worth wild. But when this happens, that's a
lot easier than this. And it took years of improvement
(20:40):
in practice, and that I'm still improving in practicing, and
I'm gonna actually make a whole episode about this next point.
I'm gona sure with you guys. So if you're listening
this far. First of all, think you were amazing, and
you're gonna get a little bit more of a tidbit
of something I'm going to be fishing out and growing
and so much so that it's going to become something.
I'll mention that a minute. We'll come back to that,
because that's actually a really good point. But I show
(21:00):
this this trajectory of when it wasn't good to when
it is good. And it didn't matter of a when
of perfection. It didn't matter of a when of getting
everything together, it didn't matter of a when of finances,
it didn't matter. It just mattered that I started because
I can now build upon the thing that I started.
But you cannot build upon something that you refuse to start.
So one thing that I'm going to create a little
(21:24):
mini series on and I'm really working and praying and
the starting this how to help other people grow with
this because the series that I'm like, I'm still chewing around.
It's called your voice or developing your voice or something
along those lines. I haven't had this completely, but I'll
tell you this much. Even on this podcast, maybe some
of you hear this, and one of your biggest complaints
(21:46):
is why do I speak so fast? Like? What is
it about me that I tell? First, I'm Latino, so
we have Hispanics. We're very passionate. We're going to speak
fast no matter what. But I've heard that so many
times in my life and my as a speaker and
all these things. But I've always heard it, and this
is important, and I'm not talking about you, if you're listening.
I mean, I kind of am if you have this
(22:06):
judgment about me. But I've always heard it from people
who didn't do what I've done. Like I heard that, wow,
you speak really fast. Maybe slow it down for certain things.
First of all, I only have like thirty minutes of
this and the reality is that I have a lot
to say in that small amount of time. But even
on stages, I've heard it from people who would say
stuff like, oh, maybe you should slow down so people
could digest your message a little more. Sure. First of all,
(22:27):
I know how to speak. I'm a public speaker. I
know what pregnant pauses are. I know how to create anticipation.
I know on a stage how to use cortisol and
how to use all these other hormones to create the
story in golf, the story. I know how to do
those things, I do it well. The reason that I've
traveled to all these places. I've spoken in arenas with
five thousand people. I've spoken on stages that didn't make
(22:49):
any sense to me. So obviously I know what I'm doing.
But I've always heard that from people who have never
done what I've done. I've always heard fro people that
I've never done what I've done, that I speak too fast,
that I do all this and this, They will tell
me slow it down. But my question is why is
it that I would take criticism from people that have
not done what I've been able to do. And it's
not an attack on them. I get it what they
(23:09):
think is going to work, but they're going to try
to change my voice to fit their ears. I need
you to understand that people will try to change what
you do, no matter how good you are, because again,
I've been very successful at this. I've traveled and I've
spoken in places that those people that had a lot
to say about me have never been to. They've never
been invited to us. People will try to change your
(23:30):
voice to fit their narrative. They'll try to change your talenting,
your career to fit their ears. And as we talk
about this reality, this mountain that a lot of us
are on, I need you to understand that you have
the power to create now, not when you have the
power to make the thing that you love happen now,
not when other people think koreti or not when you
think it's perfect. Just start starting in. This thing is
(23:53):
going to create this reality. And are people going to
try to change your voice? Sure? Are they going to
try to make you think that your joy is based
on sounding how they want you to sound? Absolutely, because
they can't comprehend what you have. When your joy is
based on what you do and not what people say,
you'll stop dictating yourself to fit their mold. You'll stop
(24:16):
allowing yourself to be shaped by their opinions or their
criticism or their comments. I struggle with that, right because
we think that these are good things and they're not.
I don't want to say they're bad things, right, because
they're the good criticism. Sometimes these are critiques that are positive, Like, yeah,
(24:36):
maybe there are situations in which I would probably rush
through a story to try to get to another one. Sure,
I'm not saying that that anyone's perfect because I'm definitely not,
but I do see it often from people who are
not capable of doing what I do. Like I've heard
them give their talks and stuff like that, and i've
heard them speak, and it's not a bash on them,
and it's not me lifting myself up higher than anyone else.
(24:59):
But it's all from you identifying the fact that you
can't criticize what I'm doing if you can't do what
I've done. And I see that often even with social media,
people would criticize other people, but it's hard to criticize
when you have not accomplished what they've done. It's hard
to criticize when you're not capable of showing what they're doing.
I'm sure it's from a genuine place of care and
of love, and it's a genuine place, not a place
(25:20):
of insecurity or hatred. But we have to stop taking
opinions and criticisms from people that do not know the
weight that it comes with the job or the career
or the dream of the thing you're living in. You
need to stop taking criticism for people that will never
have to bear that weight because they don't know what
that looks like. They don't know the work and the
hours and the effort and the goal and the dream.
They just see what they could not do, and they
(25:42):
will criticize you for being in it. But if you
base your joy on their criticism, you will have to
live with the hate of yourself on it. You'll have
to be able to create what they want for you
to be joyful. And that's just not a way to live.
It's just a terrible thing to allow your happiness and
your joy to have claim on anyone else's opinion. The
(26:02):
greatest thing you will ever do in a world that
profits from your pain is refused to dwell in it,
is refused to let the pain infester and grow. It's
refused so that that thing identify who you are now.
It's refused to fall back into these lives, in these
ruts of these people, because you're just going to be
miserable with them, the same as real love's company. We
(26:23):
have to stop allowing the world that wants to rob
us of our joy, to rob us of it, to
have claim over anything else that's not it, because will
consistently be hurt and there's nothing we can change about that.
So allowing ourselves to be fruitful and purposeful and good
is the best thing that you can ever actually do.
And our last point here, you owe it to your
(26:45):
healed self not to live in the version of you
that was hurting. You can miss who you were before
the pain and continue to advance and to grow into
this person that you're meant to be now and to
this joyful person that you are. Yes, it's okay to
understand and remember and then have a dwelling of what
that used to look like, but not create everything you
are based on it. Not allow it to have this
(27:11):
much authority over every action in your life. And when
we unpack or we allow our identity to not be
rooted in those things, we allow our joy to not
be based on what leaves. Then we create something real
in us because we allow ourselves to be real, not
withheld or help or held back from things that people
have said or done, but this authority of who you
(27:31):
are and the joy that you deserve to live. So
this amountain of joy and reclaiming it is the thing
for you. I need you to really really live in
that reality. Am I rooted in those things or who
I am? And being able to reclaim this allows you
to be the best version of you and again, I'm
not saying that you won't have days that are upsetting
(27:53):
or not joyful or sad, or you're not not going
to go through things. I mean in the perfect world. Actually,
actually not even in the perfect world. Actually it is
great that we go through things, because to not go
through things means that we would never know the value
of the joy, that we would never actually feel full happiness,
full loveful goodness, because if we've only experienced that, there
is no contrast to it. So even looking at this
(28:15):
unjoyful moment, at this painful thing, knowing that that thing
serves a purpose, if only the purpose is to magnify
the beauty of the joy that comes later, If the
only purpose and that thing that hurt is to magnify
the beauty of the thing that's gonna come after, then
that even that pain has a purpose, Even that pain
can be turned into joy, Even that pain can show
something positive in us, because we haven't dwelt in it
(28:37):
so much that it's become who we are. We reclaim
our joy when we stop giving authority to our pain.
When we claim our joy, we stop giving things that
don't deserve the driving wheel of our car to continue
to drive our lives. You deserve to be joyful, not
because you're perfect, but because you were made for it,
Because joy was created to be given to you freely,
(29:01):
not because you've done anything special or extraordinary, but simply
because that's what you were made for. So thank you
for being here, thank you for being a part of
this episode. And I really hope that there's something here
that was just a more simple of goodness for you.
And if it was, I really hope that you share
this episode download and the stars and all that stuff
that we need to make these metrics look good. But
(29:22):
either way, thank you for being here and we'll see
you in the next one.
So the reality is that for a lot of people,
we have tied our joy to things like we've made
this distinction between what makes us joyful and we equated
with what makes us happy, And the reality is a
happiness is fleeting. Right. Happiness is dependent on something. It's
dependent on action, it depends on the world, depends on
something being possible. And joy is dependent on us. It's
(00:20):
depending on what we believe, what we know, and what
we trust. And sometimes we've allowed ourselves to be lied
to or even misguided on this thought of what our
joy is and what it's attached to, and sometimes even
who's attached to. And in this episode, we're diving into
this reality right where we make this mountain of where
our joy is and we give power and authority to
certain things to either dictate how our joy is spent
(00:41):
or dictate how it's not spent. And I just just
want to preface this by saying that it doesn't mean
that you are free from struggles. Right. Joy doesn't mean
understanding what joy is and living in your authentic joy
doesn't mean that bad things don't happen. It just means
that there's an authority behind who you are and what
you say and what you will allow to hap. So
let's step into this one. This is made for this
(01:02):
mountain with Josh Rosa or turning pain into purpose. So
we talk about reclaiming your joy and finding happiness after pain.
I don't want that word happiness to have such a
powerful uh poll here. I don't want you to think
that you need to feel one hundred percent happy every
single moment of your life to actually be joyful. That's
like a misnomber. That's one of those things that we
believe are synonymous with each other. We think that if
(01:24):
happiness is real, that for us to be happy, or
for joy to be real, that every situation has to
feel like rainbows and butterflies, like everything has to feel
like it just makes perfect sense and it's clicking, and
it's not. I've learned through my conversation, because of experience
and things that I've just been through, that the most
joyful people not the happiest people. The most joyful people
(01:46):
are the people that can look at terrible things, can
look at adversity, can look at problems, and can look
at all these possible things that people will look at
and make a complete other mountain out of and they
would look at those things and know that those things
don't define the joy in their heart, like feel bad
about the situation. They might feel down, they might feel
a little bit sad, because again that's normal. You are
a human. It's okay to feel. It's okay to feel
(02:09):
like things aren't together. It's okay to feel like everything
is in clicking today because it doesn't always have to
feel like everything is clicking, doesn't always have to feel
like everything is perfect. It's to know that there is
a tomorrow, that there is another day, that there's other options,
there are other ways for you to grow. And yes,
it's okay to grieve. It's okay to feel. It's okay
to understand these things. But don't depend on your life
(02:30):
being only happy and joyful giddy moments. Understand that there
is a little bit of pain, that there is a
little bit of suffering, there is a little bit of anguish.
But this anguish and this suffering and these pains that
we go through magnify the joy that we live in
when we are able to sit and see these things
and don't let these things become our home. Because we
do that often right, we see a struggle, we see
(02:52):
our pain, and we are so afraid or so were
so blinded by it that we don't move away from it,
and we create this home and are hurt. And now
we can't move from here because we've unpacked, You've made
it comfortable for you because you think this is it.
So we start to swap out what's possible with what's happening.
You're not looking at what's probable in the future, but
(03:14):
you're looking at what you're going through right now. And
I want to just be weary of that. And I
understand that it happens. I understand that that's something that
some people just go through because sometimes we lose guidance,
we lose hope, we lose the potential the possibility of this.
But when you begin to give power to things that
you give you happiness, to give you joy, if you
give those things your identity, what happens is that it's
(03:35):
going to define what happens next. And if the thing
doesn't work out how you want it to work out,
then it's going to be hurt. So as we talk
about reclaiming joy, the first thing that we need to
do before we reclaim anything, before we die anywhere in
this episode is this reality that you need to look
at the situations that you're in and going through and
allow yourself to not be swallowed up by it, to
(03:57):
not allow it to dictate what you do next. Because again,
there are so many situations, even in my life personally,
where I've been in situations where things have happened and
I've had to choose either this thing defines my life
or becomes a defining moment where my life changes, it
becomes a part of this next step, and this is everything.
By the way, This is again I know we hurt,
(04:21):
our heart's hurt, and we tend to look at everything
through the scope of relationships. And I mentioned this before
that I don't ever want that to be like a
corner somewhere, because not that it's not important, but it
should be the least important thing, Like relationships are important,
there's value to it, but they should when we talk
about these type of things, it should never be the
center point of everything else. Sometimes again, we've tied our joy,
(04:41):
our happiness to something or someone, and when that thing failed,
we now think that we failed. And there's an internalization
of this that's happening. We look at this situation and
we make it about that. So yes, relationships, of course,
we can't just say that doesn't exist, because it is
a thing, right, you are going to suffer to. But
every aspect, every single aspect of our life, the career
(05:03):
that you wanted, if you wanted to do a specific thing,
you had this vision and this hope and his dream,
and sometimes what happens is you get into it and
it just isn't what you envisioned at all. It's beautiful
from the outside, from the inside, it's not what you
thought it would be. So what happens is that we
have go through this identity crisis because we jumped into
this thing and we tied our joy to it, we
(05:24):
tried our happiness to it, and now it's not what
we thought it would be, and now we're drowning away
from it because we can't change this. We can't move
away from this particular thing. So I want you to
look at that scop. Whatever this is in your life,
whatever person, whatever career, whatever place you're in, We're gonna
try try to reclaim what joy looks like in every
other aspect. It's not just staying in this thing because
it's convenient and it's there. It's understanding that there's something
(05:47):
certain things that can only go so far in our lives,
and we have to create space for what we actually
want right now, but not just what we think we want.
We're told we not not what we sowed ourselves on.
And this is a big one because a lot of
times the salesman in your life is you right. You
sold yourself a dream, you sold yourself a desire, you
sold yourself a hope. I had a friend, and I
(06:08):
won't say names, but he was working in a particular
industry that makes the finance industries, ringing a lot of
money and moving a lot of things, and he wanted
this career path so long. And then he realized that
he absolutely hated everything he was doing. That he hated
the places like he loved being a creative. He was
so good at that. He was a great eye, has
a great eye. And he decided that he was going
to leave this fortune five hundred company, this very very
(06:33):
financially stable job, to go pursue the joy of his heart,
to go pursue the thing that was going to bring
us or bring him the most actually us as a
world right, because when you are full of you, you
give the world what it needs from you, you give
it the fullness of you, and just decided that he
was going to pursue this thing that gave him joy,
that gave him purpose and fruit, and he went in
(06:54):
and he did that thing. And understanding that your joy
is not tied to the thing you thought you wanted,
but it's tied to the person you are, is gonna
be the big takeaway. And we'll talk a lot more
about this after these real quick commercials. So jumping right
back into this this reality that your joy, it's yours right.
Happiness can be stolen like people, Someone can steal happiness
(07:14):
from you, but no one can steal joy from you
like your joy is cemented in what you are and
who you are, rooted in your security and what you
are capable of and what you desire. Happiness is only
based on things that are around there, So people can
steal happiness. If your happiness is based on your car, right,
someone could come and steal your car and their goals
your happiness. But if your joy is cemented on the
thing that you've done to get that thing. When you
(07:35):
see the situation, I'm not saying that it's not bad, right,
because I've said that before that it could be bad
and I might not make you happy, but being joyful,
there's understanding that no one can steal that from you.
They might steal the physical things, but they'll never be
able to steal the deep intellectual and spiritual and emotional
and things that you've felt. Your joy is not based
on a firm list foundations, right, and especially if if
(07:58):
you talk about who our joy is. But there's reality
that when people do things to you, if your joy
isn't based in them, if it's not based in the things,
if it's not based on what they're asking for, and
then no one can steal that. No one can come
to you and reclaim from you what you built. The
biggest lie that we think is that people can take
from us what we've created. They can't. They might take
(08:20):
again the physical things, they can take the money, they
can take the house, they can take the car, but
they can never take what you are rooted. And if
you are rooted firmly in that joy, it's impossible for
that to be stolen. Joy is the foundation of everything,
every step to take, every action we would make, everything
that comes from that is based and founded and rooted
(08:40):
and ingrained in what joy is for us. And when
we begin to look at that reality, we allow ourselves
to just be joyful. We allow ourselves to stop being
these better, miserable humans that are walking around this world
without a purpose because we've created this false dichotomy between
having things and being joyful. We created this this lie
(09:03):
in our world that that is materially material based. And
think about it. The world that you live in, is
that like, think about the world that that we're in
right now. The biggest push is not for like mental health,
it's not for like self love, it's not for faith
based growth, it's not for all these things. It's ultimately
for the materials. And I'm gonna blow your mind. Even
(09:23):
the podcasts you listen to, the videos, you watch, the influencers,
you follow, all these people for the most part, because yes,
there are good people. I'm not disqualifying. It's like throwing
myself in that bunch. I believe I create content that's
good for people, that helps people or help people think
or whatever that might be. But the but the bigger core,
the bigger people, the bigger names that we follow, the
things that we look at, whether consciously or subconsciously, whether
(09:45):
we're aware of this and not. The reason that we
follow them is materialistic because we like or identify with
something or someone that they have there and the lifestyle
that they have, not simply yes, again, not everybody or
we don't all do this, we'll all fall, but for
the main, main purpose of it, we fall for those
things because we have equated joy with having. So if
(10:05):
I have, I will feel I think that if I
look like that person, or if I listen to that advice,
or if I make that kind of money, or if
I'm in that particular sphere, and then my joy is
real because I will have what they have, so I
will feel what I think they feel. And that's just
not the case. Sometimes we we created joy to the
lie of this world. We've created our joy based on
what we think we need to have or look like.
(10:27):
I need to understand that joy has to come from
the inside up, not from the outside. We can't work
on joy from the outside to make it look joyful
because that's not true joy. That's based now and exterior
beliefs and understanding, and that's fleeting internal joy. This comes
from me. It comes from a root of who I
am and who I am in God's ee and who
(10:48):
I am in this world and what I'm called to
be and what I'm being. I'm not falling for this
lie that my joy is based on my halves. I'm
not falling for this lie. For me to be happy
be it has to come from people staying, or people
being or things are around me or the career path
or any of these other things. Your happiness could be stolen,
(11:10):
but your joy can never be stolen, and a lot
of people are going through this disbalance. Our next point
here is that you're not miserable, you're just out of balance.
Like you are not this miserable person. It's just the
things that you are supposed to be in aren't in
balance with what you actually are. Sometimes we're super fixated
on what is happening around us, and so much so
(11:32):
that we don't take a look at what we need
for us, or in us or in ourselves. We look
at what the people, the relationships, the failed relationships, the
money I don't have, the car I don't have. We
super fixate on something that we make that thing the
center point of everything, and then what happens is even
our joy gravitates around that. So how is it that
you expect to be joyful when your joy is gravitating
(11:54):
around pain, and there is a beautiful balance when you
know that that pain can produce purpose, right, because this
is our slogan on this podcast, But that comes from
a place of joy because pain here. Yes it's painful,
like I said, but it doesn't diminish the reality of
who you are. It doesn't rob you of it. You're
able to use it for something different. So there's balance
(12:17):
that we're supposed to feel in this thing that we're
supposed to be. It's only stolen there because of what
we give it. So I need to ask youselfless questions
if you're struggling with this, right, if you feel like
you're in a state of misery or rut or just
just falling back behind something, ask yourself this question, is
this real? And can I do anything about it? Like?
Is this thing that I'm struggling with, this thing that
(12:38):
I feel like is robbing me of my joy? Is
this a genuine thing? Or is it something that I've
just created a mountain that doesn't belong to be in
my life? Because a lot of times what we do
is that we fixate on possibilities and not realities. We
fixate on shortcomings, we fix it on other people shortcomings
our lives, and we make them ours. We make this clean.
This thing that I'm going through, and the thing that
(13:00):
I'm in is so powerful that it controls everything else.
And I need to ask you something that question, is
it real? Like? Is it really something that that has
this much control and this much impact in your life?
And if so, then how do we address that and
how do we grow from that? And if it's not real,
if it's not something that has a genuine impact, and
I'm not diminishing its emotional impact and your attachment to
it and your growth to it. But if it's not real,
(13:22):
why is it that I fixate more on that than me?
Why is it that I give more authority to that
particular thing than the thing that I have the option
to change? And if we move on to that next
point that if it's it is someone else's responsibility, if
it's something that someone did to me, who's responsible for this?
Why is it that I'm fixating on something that someone
said or or did or and just something that that
(13:44):
they're choosing. And why do I make that about me?
Why am I allowing that to be me? Finally, the
last point for that point is get back on track. Like,
if this misery is keeping me out of balance, then
what do I need to do to rebalance? What I
need to move, Who do I need to move, Where
I need to cut, what I need to add? Where
do I need to do more or do less in
(14:05):
my life to make this thing of reality? Because this
is what's happening that for a lot of us, we're
not miserable, we're not sad, we're not depressed, we're not anxious.
We are just out of balance. We're not doing the
things that are feeding the best version of us. And
this could be physical things by the way, like again
go to the gym right, trying to do that better,
or literally scheduling yourself correctly, or sleeping more whatever, drinking
more water like whatever. This is to get yourself on
(14:29):
track is how we respond to these things. So getting
yourself there that's the hard part, right understanding what this is,
identifying it, weighing it out, and then actually stepping into it.
The truth is that for a lot of us are
our life is just out of whack because we haven't
given ourselves the time to do what we need to do.
And I think that becomes one of the biggest struggles
(14:52):
that we go through, and I call this the wind fallacy.
The wind fallacy is when you think things are going
to get better for you. You think when this happens,
when I get this job, and when I create something,
when I'm invited, when I'm liked, when I'm improved, that
that when this happens, I will finally be able to
be joyful. I finally have joy in my life. I'll
finally have the things I need you to understand. That
is a lie that when only happens when you start,
(15:14):
like you can't expect to get good at something you've
never started doing. You can't expect to make a masterpiece
out of something that you haven't even made pieces of.
It's impossible for us to grow and be the best
version of us if we don't start. We keep saying
when I'm ready, but you will never be ready. Why
because in a couple of years you will feel like
you can still be better. In a couple of years
after you've already started, you're gonna look back and say, man,
(15:35):
I could have been significantly better if I had started earlier,
or even now, I'm still getting better than where I'm at.
You could have mastered the thing that you have done.
And this is the difference between people who are successful
in their craft and good in their craft, is that
even when they are considered the best, they still feel
like they can improve. It's not about feeling like you're
the best or feeling like you're ready. It's about starting.
(15:56):
It's about creating the thing now. It's about living the
joy now. It's about living the life now because when
might come and go, Tomorrow might be the last day
you have on this earth, and if you did nothing
that you wanted to, it'd be pointless, like if you
didn't live the life that you were capable of living
and living in the joy that you're capable of living
because you were afraid of when you've made sure that
(16:17):
you missed out, you made sure that you let the
things have happened to you, when that you've let the pass,
When that you let the failed relationships, when that you
let your lie of not being ready win. And this
fallacy of when is a terrible metric to measure a
life by, because we keep looking at the possibility of
(16:38):
a time starting and looking for a perfect moment to start,
and not realizing that there is no such thing. As perfection,
not realizing that even when you start, you will still
feel like you need to improve, even in that moment
of creating something. And I think that for a lot
of people, that's their biggest, biggest, biggest worldblock is the
thought that I will move forward word, when I will
(17:01):
move on, when I will do the thing. When there
is no such thing as when, the when fallacy, the
when this thing happens, It's not going to happen. I
need you to understand that what you will do is
that you will keep kicking the ball down the street.
You'll keep pushing the score poll right, You'll be moving
(17:22):
the poll every single time because you are now creating
a difficulty for you. Why because you might have improved,
you might have looked better this year than the last year,
but you said, you know what, I'm better this year
the last year, So what about next year? And you'll
keep pushing that forward. Whatever this is, whatever is robbing
you of your joy, whatever is keeping you in that
mountain of not being able to claim your joy because
you think that when these things come together, that that
(17:42):
is when you'll be ready. It won't. I need you
to understand that to start now, and this needs to
be the thing that we choose now and we choose
every day, because there is no such thing as perfection.
There's no perfect human. There's no person in this world
that has everything figured out. Absolutely not. Some people could
give great advice, some people could do great things, could
show up in amazing ways, but it doesn't mean that
(18:03):
they know better, that they're more ready or anything, or
more prepared than anyone else. But they're willing to do.
They're willing to start, they're willing to push, they're willing
to create now instead of later. And you will be
stuck in the same place you were yesterday if you
don't start now, if you don't choose this moment, if
you don't choose to create something in a place that
(18:24):
you have the ability to do it. Because I need
to understand that every gift and ability. Maybe finances might
be a problem, maybe time might be a problem. You
could make those excuses. They're not great ones, because a
great excuse will be worked around always. But those are
more valid excuses than saying when I'm ready or when
I feel something. I need you to understand that you
can start now and not feel ready. You can start
this very day and not have it all together. You
(18:46):
can choose to start moving the ball and not even
know where the ball is going. I just need you
to start because you have that ability in you, because
you have the capacity and capability to create something amazing
in this moment, not when you're ready, not one is
all figured out, but right now. And we'll talk a
little bit more about this after this real quick commercial break.
(19:09):
So this reality that you have the ability to start,
You have the talent, you have the gifting. You might
not have the finances, you might not have all the
time in the world, you might not have all these things,
but these are things that we work around, right I'll
use myself as an example. And I don't feel like
I've actually told this much, so I guess this is
a good story to tell. But when I started creating content,
I had a Jeep T three I, which is a
(19:32):
canon Rebel camera, which is like one of those like
you can buy like a Target or a Walmart for
like four hundred bucks and like some really bad lenses.
And I knew nothing. And even to this day, by
the way, a pure example of this, because I'm still improving,
I'm still making so many leaps forward, so I'm not
even a camera that I'm currently shooting on. I know
nothing about this camera. I'm learning it right because there's
a brand new camera that's a very effective one. It's
(19:53):
nice and beautiful. That's what I need and what I'm
going to do for the future. But I started with
if you're very very low budget camera. It didn't look good,
it was out of focus, it wasn't my best quality content.
But it becomes this beautiful testimony and tool today to
show and compare where I was to where I am.
It becomes the storyline of how I improved because I
(20:17):
started because it's speaking. First of all, speaking to a
camera is extremely difficult, like this right now, or a
camera or even the microphone rave on our podcast, which
is our main shoot for this, but even this is
really difficult. And when I bring guests, which again I've
been working really hard at correcting this and make it
something that's worth wild. But when this happens, that's a
lot easier than this. And it took years of improvement
(20:40):
in practice, and that I'm still improving in practicing, and
I'm gonna actually make a whole episode about this next point.
I'm gona sure with you guys. So if you're listening
this far. First of all, think you were amazing, and
you're gonna get a little bit more of a tidbit
of something I'm going to be fishing out and growing
and so much so that it's going to become something.
I'll mention that a minute. We'll come back to that,
because that's actually a really good point. But I show
(21:00):
this this trajectory of when it wasn't good to when
it is good. And it didn't matter of a when
of perfection. It didn't matter of a when of getting
everything together, it didn't matter of a when of finances,
it didn't matter. It just mattered that I started because
I can now build upon the thing that I started.
But you cannot build upon something that you refuse to start.
So one thing that I'm going to create a little
(21:24):
mini series on and I'm really working and praying and
the starting this how to help other people grow with
this because the series that I'm like, I'm still chewing around.
It's called your voice or developing your voice or something
along those lines. I haven't had this completely, but I'll
tell you this much. Even on this podcast, maybe some
of you hear this, and one of your biggest complaints
(21:46):
is why do I speak so fast? Like? What is
it about me that I tell? First, I'm Latino, so
we have Hispanics. We're very passionate. We're going to speak
fast no matter what. But I've heard that so many
times in my life and my as a speaker and
all these things. But I've always heard it, and this
is important, and I'm not talking about you, if you're listening.
I mean, I kind of am if you have this
(22:06):
judgment about me. But I've always heard it from people
who didn't do what I've done. Like I heard that, wow,
you speak really fast. Maybe slow it down for certain things.
First of all, I only have like thirty minutes of
this and the reality is that I have a lot
to say in that small amount of time. But even
on stages, I've heard it from people who would say
stuff like, oh, maybe you should slow down so people
could digest your message a little more. Sure. First of all,
(22:27):
I know how to speak. I'm a public speaker. I
know what pregnant pauses are. I know how to create anticipation.
I know on a stage how to use cortisol and
how to use all these other hormones to create the
story in golf, the story. I know how to do
those things, I do it well. The reason that I've
traveled to all these places. I've spoken in arenas with
five thousand people. I've spoken on stages that didn't make
(22:49):
any sense to me. So obviously I know what I'm doing.
But I've always heard that from people who have never
done what I've done. I've always heard fro people that
I've never done what I've done, that I speak too fast,
that I do all this and this, They will tell
me slow it down. But my question is why is
it that I would take criticism from people that have
not done what I've been able to do. And it's
not an attack on them. I get it what they
(23:09):
think is going to work, but they're going to try
to change my voice to fit their ears. I need
you to understand that people will try to change what
you do, no matter how good you are, because again,
I've been very successful at this. I've traveled and I've
spoken in places that those people that had a lot
to say about me have never been to. They've never
been invited to us. People will try to change your
(23:30):
voice to fit their narrative. They'll try to change your talenting,
your career to fit their ears. And as we talk
about this reality, this mountain that a lot of us
are on, I need you to understand that you have
the power to create now, not when you have the
power to make the thing that you love happen now,
not when other people think koreti or not when you
think it's perfect. Just start starting in. This thing is
(23:53):
going to create this reality. And are people going to
try to change your voice? Sure? Are they going to
try to make you think that your joy is based
on sounding how they want you to sound? Absolutely, because
they can't comprehend what you have. When your joy is
based on what you do and not what people say,
you'll stop dictating yourself to fit their mold. You'll stop
(24:16):
allowing yourself to be shaped by their opinions or their
criticism or their comments. I struggle with that, right because
we think that these are good things and they're not.
I don't want to say they're bad things, right, because
they're the good criticism. Sometimes these are critiques that are positive, Like, yeah,
(24:36):
maybe there are situations in which I would probably rush
through a story to try to get to another one. Sure,
I'm not saying that that anyone's perfect because I'm definitely not,
but I do see it often from people who are
not capable of doing what I do. Like I've heard
them give their talks and stuff like that, and i've
heard them speak, and it's not a bash on them,
and it's not me lifting myself up higher than anyone else.
(24:59):
But it's all from you identifying the fact that you
can't criticize what I'm doing if you can't do what
I've done. And I see that often even with social media,
people would criticize other people, but it's hard to criticize
when you have not accomplished what they've done. It's hard
to criticize when you're not capable of showing what they're doing.
I'm sure it's from a genuine place of care and
of love, and it's a genuine place, not a place
(25:20):
of insecurity or hatred. But we have to stop taking
opinions and criticisms from people that do not know the
weight that it comes with the job or the career
or the dream of the thing you're living in. You
need to stop taking criticism for people that will never
have to bear that weight because they don't know what
that looks like. They don't know the work and the
hours and the effort and the goal and the dream.
They just see what they could not do, and they
(25:42):
will criticize you for being in it. But if you
base your joy on their criticism, you will have to
live with the hate of yourself on it. You'll have
to be able to create what they want for you
to be joyful. And that's just not a way to live.
It's just a terrible thing to allow your happiness and
your joy to have claim on anyone else's opinion. The
(26:02):
greatest thing you will ever do in a world that
profits from your pain is refused to dwell in it,
is refused to let the pain infester and grow. It's
refused so that that thing identify who you are now.
It's refused to fall back into these lives, in these
ruts of these people, because you're just going to be
miserable with them, the same as real love's company. We
(26:23):
have to stop allowing the world that wants to rob
us of our joy, to rob us of it, to
have claim over anything else that's not it, because will
consistently be hurt and there's nothing we can change about that.
So allowing ourselves to be fruitful and purposeful and good
is the best thing that you can ever actually do.
And our last point here, you owe it to your
(26:45):
healed self not to live in the version of you
that was hurting. You can miss who you were before
the pain and continue to advance and to grow into
this person that you're meant to be now and to
this joyful person that you are. Yes, it's okay to
understand and remember and then have a dwelling of what
that used to look like, but not create everything you
are based on it. Not allow it to have this
(27:11):
much authority over every action in your life. And when
we unpack or we allow our identity to not be
rooted in those things, we allow our joy to not
be based on what leaves. Then we create something real
in us because we allow ourselves to be real, not
withheld or help or held back from things that people
have said or done, but this authority of who you
(27:31):
are and the joy that you deserve to live. So
this amountain of joy and reclaiming it is the thing
for you. I need you to really really live in
that reality. Am I rooted in those things or who
I am? And being able to reclaim this allows you
to be the best version of you and again, I'm
not saying that you won't have days that are upsetting
(27:53):
or not joyful or sad, or you're not not going
to go through things. I mean in the perfect world. Actually,
actually not even in the perfect world. Actually it is
great that we go through things, because to not go
through things means that we would never know the value
of the joy, that we would never actually feel full happiness,
full loveful goodness, because if we've only experienced that, there
is no contrast to it. So even looking at this
(28:15):
unjoyful moment, at this painful thing, knowing that that thing
serves a purpose, if only the purpose is to magnify
the beauty of the joy that comes later, If the
only purpose and that thing that hurt is to magnify
the beauty of the thing that's gonna come after, then
that even that pain has a purpose, Even that pain
can be turned into joy, Even that pain can show
something positive in us, because we haven't dwelt in it
(28:37):
so much that it's become who we are. We reclaim
our joy when we stop giving authority to our pain.
When we claim our joy, we stop giving things that
don't deserve the driving wheel of our car to continue
to drive our lives. You deserve to be joyful, not
because you're perfect, but because you were made for it,
Because joy was created to be given to you freely,
(29:01):
not because you've done anything special or extraordinary, but simply
because that's what you were made for. So thank you
for being here, thank you for being a part of
this episode. And I really hope that there's something here
that was just a more simple of goodness for you.
And if it was, I really hope that you share
this episode download and the stars and all that stuff
that we need to make these metrics look good. But
(29:22):
either way, thank you for being here and we'll see
you in the next one.
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