September 25, 2025 • 28 mins
If you’ve ever felt like you’re behind, not good enough, or stuck comparing yourself to everyone else this one’s for you. You are not defined by what you do, what you earn, or how others see you.
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Made For This Mountain with Joshua Rosa
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
So if you haven't heard this before, you're enough. And
I think this is like one of those weird things
that we don't really accept about ourselves. We don't really
believe about ourselves. If somebody looks at you and says
that you have value, you have worth, we tend to
go to the questions that we sort of question why
they're saying this, like we think that what they're saying
has some ulterior motive, or we don't really believe it
about ourselves. Why because it's so easy to believe the lie. Like,
(00:22):
think about how easy it is to believe that you're
not worth it, think about how easy it is to
think that you're not lovable, think about how easy it
is to fall into this lie, into this rut that
the things that are going good for you in this life,
that those things don't mean anything. And I think that
we struggle with this in this world because it really
keeps us down, like it keeps us away from what
we can potentially be. And I know I'm a person
(00:43):
that's dealt with these things myself. We're feeling like I'm
not going to be successful because of those insecurities. But
there's something that just really helped me see through this,
and that's what we're talking about this episode. This is
made for this mountain with Josh Rosa or we're turning
pain into purpose. So the mountain of feel like you're
not enough like that is a huge, huge, huge mountain
(01:04):
for so many of us, Like it is one of
those things that we will struggle with for the rest
of our lives because so many things we talked about,
like imposter syndrome in this podcast, and those hurdles that
we have to battle and deal with with people around us,
that these things all play this factor, whether we're aware
of it or not, that limit us. And I know,
(01:26):
I know, I know you're probably so tired of hearing
people say that the only person that you have to
battle is you, that you are the only limit and
all these things. But there are voices in our head
that aren't our voices, Like there are things that have
been said about us or done to us through our
lives that has stopped us from really believing that we're
worth it. Like I've had so many conversations so many
people and self, my own experience and things like that
(01:49):
where I've dealt with like relationships for mantic relationsips where
people have dealt with romantic relationships, and those things have
stifled the things that they do next. I know people
personally who can't move to a healthy relationship because they're
so hurt and scarred from the toxic one they were
in before that nothing changes, and they think that they're
not going to change, that they're not gonna heal, that
they're not going to detach, that they're not going to
(02:10):
become better, that the next thing is going to be
the same thing that they believe that they are going
to remain in that place. I need you to understand
that because someone hurt you before doesn't mean that your
worth is only dictated by that hurt. Like you are
not the pain that was caused to you. You're not
limited to that thing just because somebody else did it.
The reality is that for a lot of us, we
stay in that where we stay in this rut of
(02:31):
those things because that has limited ourself. For you of us,
it's limited how we love us, it's limited how we
see us, it's limited what we do. And that mountain,
at the end of the day, is only going to
be conquered by understanding that that's not who you are. Yes,
they might have limited you. They might have said things,
but that doesn't actually dictate you. That's not the thing
(02:52):
that stops you. So being able to understand that is
going to change everything. And as we talk about this mountain,
as we talk about this reality that we feel like
we're not enough, we need to first understand that our
worth is not dictated by somebody's lack of understanding of it,
Like our worth is not dictated by them not being
(03:12):
able to actually see it. Why are you allowing people
who have no true value in your life make you
feel like you're not enough? Like? Why are you allowing
people who can't see the goodness in you, who can't
dictate that, who don't have any authority in your life
make you feel as if the things you're doing aren't
good enough. And we have this horrible habit of letting
people that couldn't love us fully and properly dictate how
(03:33):
we love. Later, we let the people that have hurt
us make us feel like we're not going to ever
feel valued or love because they couldn't see that. I
need you to understand that there is no authority that
these people have that you haven't given them. There is
nothing in this place that we create out of this
that isn't something we've allowed to happen. And I know
it sounds like it's easier said than done. I get it.
(03:54):
I understand that it's difficult to break out of these patterns.
But at the end of the day, we will continue
to stay in place. Is that we refuse to acknowledge
we will continue to stay in situations I just don't
serve the fullness of us. And this is not just
like romantic relationships, right, Sometimes these are family rounds. There
are people in our lives, family members that have spoken
(04:15):
to us poorly, that have treated us poorly, that we
continue to allow them this power over us. Why Because again,
it's just easier to believe the lie. It's easier to
believe that that's who you are. And this affects every
aspect of us. This affects how we dive into romantic relationships,
how we raise our family. We could keep repeating cycles
of these things. You deserve to be free of the
(04:36):
lie that you are only lovable based on the level
that you've received. It affects us in our identity, like
we don't even know who we are because we think
that we're only as good as someone has told us.
And again, I know that we all struggle with different
things in different stages, in different places, but I need
you to understand that there is nothing in this world
(04:58):
that should ever have the authority to make you feel
like you're not lovable, to make you feel like you
don't deserve the fullness of everything. We will continue to
stay in ruts just because it's what we think we deserve.
And your self worth, this mountain of not feeling like
(05:19):
you're enough, is going to continue to be huge because
if my worth is only tied to what people have
said and I said this often like the applauses of
other people to approval of other people, if we stay
in those places, we will be miserable. I used this
quote before from Rick and Morty, and the quote was,
I don't care that you boo for me, because I've
(05:40):
seen what you cheer for, Like I don't care what
the approval of people is happening, that people don't like me,
they don't like what I'm doing and what I'm saying,
because I've seen the things that they actually like, the
things that they have given value to. And when we
learn that our value is not based on what receiver,
don't receive. When we learn that the people that couldn't
love us fully don't deserve to dictate how we love completely,
that those people were not people that had that authority,
(06:02):
there's something freeing that happens. There's like a chain that
just breaks because you're no longer stuck in that. There's
so much value to knowing that the biggest lie you
will ever believe is that you're behind the lie of
comparison says that you have to look like them to
feel how they pretend to be. In this mountain of
our self worth, our love, or just us of knowing
(06:25):
what we're worth. The biggest thing that we struggle with
is comparing where we are to where people pretend to be.
We compare this illusion of their lives to us. And
there's something that happened a couple of years ago called
snapchat dysmorphia, where there were literal people taking filters of
themselves and going to a doctor and saying, doctor, I
(06:47):
want to look like that, and we'll dive a little
bit more after this quick commercial break. So there's this
morphia that was happening specifically with young girls, but it
was happening where people were literally taking this filter of
what they saw and they said, this is what I
want to look like. Why because the way that they
saw themselves, they didn't see value in them, they didn't
see beauty in them. They saw this filter and thought, man,
(07:09):
this is what I need to look like. Think about
the world that we live in. It's a world full
of comparison. So so many people are gonna think that
they're behind. They're gonna think that things aren't happening. They're
gonna think that they aren't moving because they are comparing
what they pretend to be to where they actually are,
to what people are doing in this fictitious way, to
(07:30):
the place that they are in themselves. We combat that
by being real, Like, we need to be real about
where we are and what we're doing, and we need
to hone in in our lives and not fantasize over
anyone else because it's easy to get lost in the
fantasy of what other people are doing or saying. It's
easy to get wrapped up in that because again, that
is just this fallacy that if this is what they're doing,
(07:51):
that means that I should be doing it too. And
we see it in stuff like relationships right where we
see it like in marriages or the desire for it.
They're beautiful. I don't want a downplay or take away
the value of like being married and having a family
and all these things. But there's so many people that
think that their timeline has to look like what everyone
else is is for them to be genuinely happy, that
(08:12):
they come to the point where they idolize marriage. They
create an idol out of something that just might not
be the season that they're in right now, and it
might be a season that they're in a long, long,
long waiting period. But the problem comes to us that
when we would make this our lives, when we make
it everything, we ruined everything else. We've only fantasized and
thought about and romanticized the idea of this thing so
(08:36):
much so that even when we actually get it, we
hate it because the idea was so potent and so
powerful and what we thought it would be like that
when we actually get the real thing, we don't realize
that we created a story of what this thing could
look like, We created a fantasy around it. We didn't
take it for what it was, for the value for
the beauty it had. Because I was so impatient in
waiting for the story that I had that the reality
(09:00):
didn't look as nice. So now this thing that you've
made an idol, this relationship, this marriage, this family that
you've created an idol out of, doesn't look like the
real thing, and you hate it. Unfortunately, we are competing
against what other people are doing. We feel like we're enough,
we're not enough. We feel like we're not moving enough
or doing enough because we've created stories and didn't learn
(09:22):
to love and appreciate the season that you're in now.
And I get it. I know that it can seem
like it's tedious, it could seem like it's laborious, it
could seem like it's something that just doesn't make sense.
But the longer we sit and romanticize these things, the
longer we don't allow ourselves to love where we are now,
the more we learn to hate where we are now.
(09:44):
And now you're not living a life of purpose and love.
You're living a life of purposelessness, if that's even a word.
I don't think that's a word. But you're gonna hate
the transition and the period that you're in. We need
to understand what's real and what's just a clip of
what we see. Because it's easy to get lost in
(10:04):
these things, and I mentioned this specifically, like through social
media and these metrics in these world. First of all,
first of all me, I'm so grateful for social media
because it's given me the tools and the ability to
communicate with people, to reach people, to share the message
that I want to share, to be able to make
it a career, to make this my livelihood. It's beautiful,
(10:26):
it's such a purpose one powerful, powerful thing when we
use it correctly. But there's also this downside where no
matter the age that you're in, you look at these
things and you start to think to yourself, why am
I not doing this? Like why am I not in
these places? Why am I not on these stages? Why
am I not traveling around the world? Why am I
not there? And you lose the beauty of the life
(10:48):
that you're in now, you lose the love of the
place that you're in now because you're so busy loving
everyone else's pretend life that you don't realize how good
the life you have is now. And that is one
of the biggest tools of our enemy that would ever
be used, is this lie that you're not enough, that
you're not doing enough, that you're not moving enough that
you're not in a place right now that you need
(11:10):
to be, and you are doing what you need to
be doing. You're growing the way you need to be growing.
It is a beautiful life that you're living, but you
can never enjoy that now if you're so fixated on
everything else. This is where we come into this reality
where we need to redefine what our success looks like,
what our achievements look like. It's it's sometimes your greatest
(11:31):
success is going to be waking up like sometimes that
that is a victory. Sometimes just rolling out of bed
is going to be a victory for some people. Because
there's so many struggles that we deal with that we
don't share with the world that even that little thing,
and I'm not saying that should be the one thing
you aim for, but it should be a thing that
you celebrate because we don't even we don't. We've lost
(11:51):
the spirit of gratitude. The reason that we're not happy
is because we're not grateful. We don't know how to
be grateful for the little so that when the big
things come in our lives it doesn't really matter. We're
only aiming for the next thing and not enjoying the
thing we're in now. If you do not learn how
to love what you have now, you will never learn
to love anything. You will never learn to love what's
next and learning to love what's in this season, there's
(12:15):
a story that I love and I'm probably gonna butcher it,
but it's the story of King Solomon. And King Solomon
at this point, he's like his wealth, he is point,
he's happy, he has all this money, and he commissions
one of his jewelry makers. He wants him to go
find or create a ring that will make him sad
when he's happy and will make him happy when he's sad.
(12:38):
So the jeweler goes and he's looking for the right
people to work with and create all these things, and
he goes throughout the entire town. He finds the right one.
He finds the right ring, and he brings it to Solomon.
And Solomon is in the middle of this big party.
He's like celebrating and laughing and eating and doing all
these things. He brings him the ring, and the moment
Solomon looks at the ring, he laughs and then he
immediately begins to cry. On that ring was inscribed around
(13:04):
the sides. Enjoy this because it won't last in a
better lack of words and shorter version of that, because
there's more to it, but it's just the shortest, shortest
reality that the good things won't last, But in that
same reef, the bad things won't last. We need to
learn to love where we are right now. We need
(13:24):
to learn to love the moment because it's gonna leave,
And we need to also learn that same breef that
the bad moments are bad. But we need to know
that those things are gonna leave. And even if that
season seems longer and tedious and it breaks your heart more,
if you learn to love where you are, then those
things lose their power. Now. A big struggle for a
(13:48):
lot of people and myself included, is that we tie
our self worth to our productivity. Like we tie how
good we are based on how much we do. We
tie our value and are just our personality and who
we are to the level of accolades that we achieve,
to the things that we make out of our lives.
(14:08):
I need you to understand that you are not your achievements.
You're not your success, You're not your work, you're not
your promotions, You're not the more money you're making you
are who you were made to be, and that's who's
worthy worth it, that's who's loved. Everything else that's beautiful.
It's great. It's great that you have achievements. I don't
want to downplay those things, because that's a byproduct of
(14:29):
your work, is showing how good and how applied you are.
But you are not those achievements. It doesn't mean that
if you don't succeed, because what happens, right, what happens
when you don't succeed, What happens when you don't hit
the goal, what happens when you don't get the promotion,
what happens when people can't see the things. Your worth
is not tied to those things. And for a lot
of us, we feel like we're not enough because we're
(14:49):
not hitting those strides. We think that we're not enough
because we're not blowing up on social media. We think
we're not enough because no one is acknowledging our hard work.
We think we're not enough because the people around us
see what we can do and never value that. I
need you to understand that seems like our theme word here,
that you are enough simply because you are. It's not
(15:11):
based on what you do, and who cheers for you,
who applause for you. It's based on who you were
made to be, and your worth is never going to
be tied to that. And I think, I personally think
that that is the tool to living a genuinely happy
and good life, like not connecting what people see or
do to who you are, Not not changing your persona
(15:34):
or your heart or your mind or how you feel
based on what these people say, or what the world says,
or how successful you are. It's this reality where we're
constantly seeking external validation. So we never internally learned to
love ourselves. We've looked at the perspective that everyone else's had,
(15:55):
and that's become our identity. And I know, I know
it's like a trigger word because there's so many things
that so many people say and do you and we
think that our identity is tied to you and all
of these wonderful things that just are important in a season,
but not for a life. They're good for where you are,
but they shouldn't be the thing that drives everything. So
(16:18):
I want just to challenge that. And again, I don't
know where you are, I don't know where you're listening.
I don't know what stage of your life you're in,
but I want you to challenge, Like, I really want
you to challenge that what in your life is the
reason that you think that your worth is tied something.
So it might be an example career, right, you might
be working at something and you think that if you're
(16:39):
successful in this thing, if you get the promotion, if
you get the pay bump, that this is going to
help you be defined. Like word is it that you're
going to fall into thinking that that is going to
tie and validate you. It could be the relationship. This
is like a common one. I feel like I've seen
this one so much that so many people people give
(17:01):
their worth to a relationship. They think that their boyfriend
or their girlfriend and their spouse, or even their husband
and their wife is going to be what validates them,
what gives them the feeling of being enough that their
words are their compliments, that those things are going to
be the things that drive that. Where is that particular
thing in your life? And this is everyone where we
(17:22):
all deal with this. We all go through this no
matter how big or how small, or how we're not successful.
We all have a struggle where we tend to and
it's not always right. There could be seasons where you're
doing really well and not falling into that, and there
are seasons where it's just falling completely thinking that man,
I will only be successful or loved or known based
(17:44):
on these things. So where in your life, and maybe
it's past already, then you were tying to these things
and really sitting with that and analyzing why, Like why
am I feeling that way? Why was that authority there?
Why was I allowing those things to just have so
much authority over me and allowing yourself to just be
(18:05):
able to be open and vulnerable with you. The truth
of the matter is that for a lot of people,
the places where they need to heal and grow from
are not places that are hidden to themselves. Like they know,
they know what needs to change and what needs to move.
The reason that they don't heal or change again, it
is not because they don't want to. It's because they
refuse to acknowledge their relationship to that thing. So they
(18:28):
refuse to acknowledge the fact that they've tied their validation
to how that was and how that is and the
only way that it's going to happen, the only way
they feel validated is through that and we see that
even again. I hate to use relationships again because it's
romantic relationships because I feel like it's easy to pick on.
But we do that with trauma bonding, right, So we
bond over something that someone's done to us or something
(18:50):
that's happened in our lives and that was dramatic and
we were both in that situation, so we created this
relationship that were connected to it. But that's not healthy.
That's not a place that we should be bonding. It's
something that we should be learning to heal from and
separate from. But we keep coming back to because we've
become familiarized with what that pain feels like. We'll dive
into the rest of this after these real quick commercials.
(19:11):
So as I say that, right, this relationship bonding and
trial bonding and all these things, a lot of us
don't feel like we're enough because somebody we've been in
a relationship with has not valued us, and they've taken
away that worth and that self worth that we were
in and they've created this gaping hole in us. So
we keep trying to seek validation and other people and
(19:32):
other things, and the places we commit mistakes and we
fall and we make a hot mess of us, so
this becomes a vicious psyconical. You created a cycle of
your pain, so you respond to the hurt, but not
to the healed version of you, and now you're living
in this fraw And the reason that we keep doing
that is because we are trying to identify and heal
what we felt like wasn't enough. And this becomes a
(19:53):
mountain for a lot of us that we stay down
because someone has put us down. I need you to
to understand again that word that you are not the
devalue or the lack of love that anyone's ever given you,
and will continue to play small and place short because
(20:15):
we think that we need to be in that We
think we need to be that way. We think that
if I try more in this place, at that place,
that's where I was not loved to value. So if
I try more there, that that's where I'm finally going
to be loved or valued. You are enough simply because
you are. And there is a sadness that happens, and
(20:35):
I'm speaking again from experience from people that I know,
where there are people who stay in that hurt for
their whole lives, like they create a home in their
wound and they never change and never move because they've
been so hurt and so scarred that they're willing to
miss out on amazing things for them because they can't
(20:58):
get out of it. They can't respet away from that.
And if this is you, if your person that's struggling
with this, unfortunately, the only way through is to be
in it. Like example, if you're if you're so hurt again,
we'll use that relationship example in relationships, Yes, take a
seas into heal. Yes, grow, Yes, change, develop and become better,
(21:19):
But you'll become comfortable hiding away from people because it
will save you from the wounds that you've had before.
Those wounds don't exist anymore. Those are things that were
said to you and that we're done to you, that
you were in and you grew and you healed from it.
But those things are not you. And you don't need
to remain underneath the hurt just because you think that's
(21:43):
all you'll ever be. I know again, it's one of
those easy things to say, and we can talk about
that for days, and we can make this claim that
you need to choose to move on, and I get it.
It's difficult to make the decision. But the reality is
that you are choosing something. You're either choosing to change
or you're choosing to remain. You're choosing this next stage,
(22:04):
or you're choosing the stage you're going to stay in.
And I'm not saying you have to pick the lesser
of two evils. But you can't say that things are
going to get better if you're not in a place
for them to move. Like you can't say that you
want to drive a car, but you refuse to get
in the driver's seat. You can't say that you want
(22:25):
to go outside, but you refuse to look out of
the door. There has to be something that is difficult
that you choose to change in so that everything else
can change. And we will miss out on amazing things
in our lives because we've looked at our self worth.
We keep thinking we're not enough, so we don't move
into the next place that will be enough, that will
show you that you are enough. You deserve the fullness
(22:45):
of what you were made for. Stop living in partiality,
Stop living in the breadcrumb, Stop living in the bare
minimum of your life. Stop you stop giving yourself the
bare minimum because you think that that's all you're worth.
We will never heal and we will never change because
we refuse to do the painful thing, We refuse to
take the next step, and we really believe that we're
not enough because someone else has lied to you about
(23:08):
your works. Until you decide to be present in your
own life, until you make the decision to say that
I'm no longer going to sit in the backseat of
my own life, I'm going to start driving. Until you
say that I'm willing to be hurt again, you will
never be fully loved. Since we're on that topic of
just romantic relationships, the reality is that it's impossible to
(23:31):
be fully loved without being fully vulnerable, like it's impossible
to feel and be immersed and completely enamored by love
if you're never willing to be hurt. Because it's impossible
to be close to love living inside of the walls
of your wounds. It is impossible for you to put
yourself into place to know that you are value, loved
(23:51):
and cared for if you are running away from it,
and you will continue to miss on everything that will
pour completely into you because you've thought that your past
wounds and your past mistakes will define everything you are.
I need you to understand again that nothing will change
if you don't allow it to you. And where you stay,
(24:13):
will you will stay, You will remain. No one can
pull you out of anything. You're the only one that
can show up for you. This is the power of
being persistent in your own life. This is the power
of saying that this thing that was said to me
or done to me no longer has authority, and I'm
going to put myself in a position to receive what
I deserve. The mountain of not feeling like you're enough,
(24:38):
it is only going to be destroyed or conquered by
challenging it. There is no mountain that is ever fixed
without you challenging it, without you looking at it, stepping
into it and saying, you know what, this is a lie,
and I'm going to change this and conquer this, and
I'm going to be bigger and better than this thing.
So as we just come to a close with this episode,
(25:02):
I really really think that for a lot of us,
we will never be the best version of us until
we're able to identify those things in our life that
make us feel like we're not enough, like not just
know that it extems from something or know that it
was something that we said to me, but really look
at it and say, where is it in my life
(25:24):
that I've been made feel felt like I'm not good
enough and really challenge those things. So again, as we
come to close, first, well, thank you for being on
this episode, thank you for listening, for your support, for
your constant support. And I just wanted to say the
last couple of minutes just for a quick off brand
(25:44):
I guess or impromptu message. I've been very fortunate to
be able to share on this podcast and to create
and to just have a space to create things. And
I don't know what next year has, right, I've been
very intentional about loving the Like I said, I'm I'm
not a hypocrite. I really do practice this stuff. So
if you listen this far, first, well thank you because
you're amazing. That means you're really listening to this podcast.
(26:07):
And it's not just the thing that you're throw in
the back for like fifteen minutes and after the next
commercial you can turn it off. But I really do
practice what I talk about, and I'm really intentional about
enjoying this season. I don't know how long it's gonna last,
I don't know if this podcast will get renewed. I
don't know if the plans that I have for the
next well next couple of months will be implemented, but
(26:27):
for next year, if those things will even come to flourish.
But again, I'm very intentional about loving and liking and
living in this season, and one thing that I know
that to make that possible would ultimately be you. If
you're listening right now, you are the reason that this
is even a thing that this podcast exists. And I
do have some hopes and some plans and some ideas
(26:49):
that I'm trying to hash out at least right now,
but it would all be based on the following year.
So what I ask, of course, the usual stuff like
if you can go and put those O five stars
or share that would download the podcast, because that's a
big metric here, how many downloads. But I want to
(27:09):
be able to create a community. So this is my
last timit of this message. I want to be able
to create a community where we're able to actually help people.
And I'm going to be given some messages later on
about that and kind of sharing a little more because
I think that the only way that we grow is
again in community, and a podcast is amazing and it's
great and it's great that you're listening, but there needs
(27:30):
to be more and there needs to be more tangible things.
It needs to be more growth and more showing up.
So that's my plan and my goal. We're not We're
not there yet, and I'm going to share it again
later in the future. But maybemore motivated dot com is
the website and I'm gonna be sharing some stuff on there.
So if you've ever had a question, something you wanted
to ask, something you wanted to just have a conversation over. Again,
I'm not the most perfect person in the world. I
(27:53):
might be more aloquate and I can speak a little
a little better, so that's probably why I deliver messages differently.
But if you ever had something that you wanted to discuss,
something that you wanted to hear a person that you
wanted to hear on this, that's going to be the place.
So I saved these last couple of minutes because I
wanted to give you that invitation, that push to go
ahead and let me know what you want. Where can
(28:14):
we better serve you? How can we better grow together?
And I'm going to be announced some of the things later on,
but at the very minimum that so just leave you
with that message that you are enough, that you are
doing what you need to do, and you're showing up
where you need to show up. And maybe you might
not be perfect today, maybe the only accomplishment you made
today was getting out of bed, but you did it.
You got up, you're moving, you played something. You're listening
(28:36):
to this and even if it doesn't feel like you're
improving today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, as
long as you're making some stride in some effort, things
will change. So thank you for listening to this episode,
and I'll catch you on the next one.
So if you haven't heard this before, you're enough. And
I think this is like one of those weird things
that we don't really accept about ourselves. We don't really
believe about ourselves. If somebody looks at you and says
that you have value, you have worth, we tend to
go to the questions that we sort of question why
they're saying this, like we think that what they're saying
has some ulterior motive, or we don't really believe it
about ourselves. Why because it's so easy to believe the lie. Like,
(00:22):
think about how easy it is to believe that you're
not worth it, think about how easy it is to
think that you're not lovable, think about how easy it
is to fall into this lie, into this rut that
the things that are going good for you in this life,
that those things don't mean anything. And I think that
we struggle with this in this world because it really
keeps us down, like it keeps us away from what
we can potentially be. And I know I'm a person
(00:43):
that's dealt with these things myself. We're feeling like I'm
not going to be successful because of those insecurities. But
there's something that just really helped me see through this,
and that's what we're talking about this episode. This is
made for this mountain with Josh Rosa or we're turning
pain into purpose. So the mountain of feel like you're
not enough like that is a huge, huge, huge mountain
(01:04):
for so many of us, Like it is one of
those things that we will struggle with for the rest
of our lives because so many things we talked about,
like imposter syndrome in this podcast, and those hurdles that
we have to battle and deal with with people around us,
that these things all play this factor, whether we're aware
of it or not, that limit us. And I know,
(01:26):
I know, I know you're probably so tired of hearing
people say that the only person that you have to
battle is you, that you are the only limit and
all these things. But there are voices in our head
that aren't our voices, Like there are things that have
been said about us or done to us through our
lives that has stopped us from really believing that we're
worth it. Like I've had so many conversations so many
people and self, my own experience and things like that
(01:49):
where I've dealt with like relationships for mantic relationsips where
people have dealt with romantic relationships, and those things have
stifled the things that they do next. I know people
personally who can't move to a healthy relationship because they're
so hurt and scarred from the toxic one they were
in before that nothing changes, and they think that they're
not going to change, that they're not gonna heal, that
they're not going to detach, that they're not going to
(02:10):
become better, that the next thing is going to be
the same thing that they believe that they are going
to remain in that place. I need you to understand
that because someone hurt you before doesn't mean that your
worth is only dictated by that hurt. Like you are
not the pain that was caused to you. You're not
limited to that thing just because somebody else did it.
The reality is that for a lot of us, we
stay in that where we stay in this rut of
(02:31):
those things because that has limited ourself. For you of us,
it's limited how we love us, it's limited how we
see us, it's limited what we do. And that mountain,
at the end of the day, is only going to
be conquered by understanding that that's not who you are. Yes,
they might have limited you. They might have said things,
but that doesn't actually dictate you. That's not the thing
(02:52):
that stops you. So being able to understand that is
going to change everything. And as we talk about this mountain,
as we talk about this reality that we feel like
we're not enough, we need to first understand that our
worth is not dictated by somebody's lack of understanding of it,
Like our worth is not dictated by them not being
(03:12):
able to actually see it. Why are you allowing people
who have no true value in your life make you
feel like you're not enough? Like? Why are you allowing
people who can't see the goodness in you, who can't
dictate that, who don't have any authority in your life
make you feel as if the things you're doing aren't
good enough. And we have this horrible habit of letting
people that couldn't love us fully and properly dictate how
(03:33):
we love. Later, we let the people that have hurt
us make us feel like we're not going to ever
feel valued or love because they couldn't see that. I
need you to understand that there is no authority that
these people have that you haven't given them. There is
nothing in this place that we create out of this
that isn't something we've allowed to happen. And I know
it sounds like it's easier said than done. I get it.
(03:54):
I understand that it's difficult to break out of these patterns.
But at the end of the day, we will continue
to stay in place. Is that we refuse to acknowledge
we will continue to stay in situations I just don't
serve the fullness of us. And this is not just
like romantic relationships, right, Sometimes these are family rounds. There
are people in our lives, family members that have spoken
(04:15):
to us poorly, that have treated us poorly, that we
continue to allow them this power over us. Why Because again,
it's just easier to believe the lie. It's easier to
believe that that's who you are. And this affects every
aspect of us. This affects how we dive into romantic relationships,
how we raise our family. We could keep repeating cycles
of these things. You deserve to be free of the
(04:36):
lie that you are only lovable based on the level
that you've received. It affects us in our identity, like
we don't even know who we are because we think
that we're only as good as someone has told us.
And again, I know that we all struggle with different
things in different stages, in different places, but I need
you to understand that there is nothing in this world
(04:58):
that should ever have the authority to make you feel
like you're not lovable, to make you feel like you
don't deserve the fullness of everything. We will continue to
stay in ruts just because it's what we think we deserve.
And your self worth, this mountain of not feeling like
(05:19):
you're enough, is going to continue to be huge because
if my worth is only tied to what people have
said and I said this often like the applauses of
other people to approval of other people, if we stay
in those places, we will be miserable. I used this
quote before from Rick and Morty, and the quote was,
I don't care that you boo for me, because I've
(05:40):
seen what you cheer for, Like I don't care what
the approval of people is happening, that people don't like me,
they don't like what I'm doing and what I'm saying,
because I've seen the things that they actually like, the
things that they have given value to. And when we
learn that our value is not based on what receiver,
don't receive. When we learn that the people that couldn't
love us fully don't deserve to dictate how we love completely,
that those people were not people that had that authority,
(06:02):
there's something freeing that happens. There's like a chain that
just breaks because you're no longer stuck in that. There's
so much value to knowing that the biggest lie you
will ever believe is that you're behind the lie of
comparison says that you have to look like them to
feel how they pretend to be. In this mountain of
our self worth, our love, or just us of knowing
(06:25):
what we're worth. The biggest thing that we struggle with
is comparing where we are to where people pretend to be.
We compare this illusion of their lives to us. And
there's something that happened a couple of years ago called
snapchat dysmorphia, where there were literal people taking filters of
themselves and going to a doctor and saying, doctor, I
(06:47):
want to look like that, and we'll dive a little
bit more after this quick commercial break. So there's this
morphia that was happening specifically with young girls, but it
was happening where people were literally taking this filter of
what they saw and they said, this is what I
want to look like. Why because the way that they
saw themselves, they didn't see value in them, they didn't
see beauty in them. They saw this filter and thought, man,
(07:09):
this is what I need to look like. Think about
the world that we live in. It's a world full
of comparison. So so many people are gonna think that
they're behind. They're gonna think that things aren't happening. They're
gonna think that they aren't moving because they are comparing
what they pretend to be to where they actually are,
to what people are doing in this fictitious way, to
(07:30):
the place that they are in themselves. We combat that
by being real, Like, we need to be real about
where we are and what we're doing, and we need
to hone in in our lives and not fantasize over
anyone else because it's easy to get lost in the
fantasy of what other people are doing or saying. It's
easy to get wrapped up in that because again, that
is just this fallacy that if this is what they're doing,
(07:51):
that means that I should be doing it too. And
we see it in stuff like relationships right where we
see it like in marriages or the desire for it.
They're beautiful. I don't want a downplay or take away
the value of like being married and having a family
and all these things. But there's so many people that
think that their timeline has to look like what everyone
else is is for them to be genuinely happy, that
(08:12):
they come to the point where they idolize marriage. They
create an idol out of something that just might not
be the season that they're in right now, and it
might be a season that they're in a long, long,
long waiting period. But the problem comes to us that
when we would make this our lives, when we make
it everything, we ruined everything else. We've only fantasized and
thought about and romanticized the idea of this thing so
(08:36):
much so that even when we actually get it, we
hate it because the idea was so potent and so
powerful and what we thought it would be like that
when we actually get the real thing, we don't realize
that we created a story of what this thing could
look like, We created a fantasy around it. We didn't
take it for what it was, for the value for
the beauty it had. Because I was so impatient in
waiting for the story that I had that the reality
(09:00):
didn't look as nice. So now this thing that you've
made an idol, this relationship, this marriage, this family that
you've created an idol out of, doesn't look like the
real thing, and you hate it. Unfortunately, we are competing
against what other people are doing. We feel like we're enough,
we're not enough. We feel like we're not moving enough
or doing enough because we've created stories and didn't learn
(09:22):
to love and appreciate the season that you're in now.
And I get it. I know that it can seem
like it's tedious, it could seem like it's laborious, it
could seem like it's something that just doesn't make sense.
But the longer we sit and romanticize these things, the
longer we don't allow ourselves to love where we are now,
the more we learn to hate where we are now.
(09:44):
And now you're not living a life of purpose and love.
You're living a life of purposelessness, if that's even a word.
I don't think that's a word. But you're gonna hate
the transition and the period that you're in. We need
to understand what's real and what's just a clip of
what we see. Because it's easy to get lost in
(10:04):
these things, and I mentioned this specifically, like through social
media and these metrics in these world. First of all,
first of all me, I'm so grateful for social media
because it's given me the tools and the ability to
communicate with people, to reach people, to share the message
that I want to share, to be able to make
it a career, to make this my livelihood. It's beautiful,
(10:26):
it's such a purpose one powerful, powerful thing when we
use it correctly. But there's also this downside where no
matter the age that you're in, you look at these
things and you start to think to yourself, why am
I not doing this? Like why am I not in
these places? Why am I not on these stages? Why
am I not traveling around the world? Why am I
not there? And you lose the beauty of the life
(10:48):
that you're in now, you lose the love of the
place that you're in now because you're so busy loving
everyone else's pretend life that you don't realize how good
the life you have is now. And that is one
of the biggest tools of our enemy that would ever
be used, is this lie that you're not enough, that
you're not doing enough, that you're not moving enough that
you're not in a place right now that you need
(11:10):
to be, and you are doing what you need to
be doing. You're growing the way you need to be growing.
It is a beautiful life that you're living, but you
can never enjoy that now if you're so fixated on
everything else. This is where we come into this reality
where we need to redefine what our success looks like,
what our achievements look like. It's it's sometimes your greatest
(11:31):
success is going to be waking up like sometimes that
that is a victory. Sometimes just rolling out of bed
is going to be a victory for some people. Because
there's so many struggles that we deal with that we
don't share with the world that even that little thing,
and I'm not saying that should be the one thing
you aim for, but it should be a thing that
you celebrate because we don't even we don't. We've lost
(11:51):
the spirit of gratitude. The reason that we're not happy
is because we're not grateful. We don't know how to
be grateful for the little so that when the big
things come in our lives it doesn't really matter. We're
only aiming for the next thing and not enjoying the
thing we're in now. If you do not learn how
to love what you have now, you will never learn
to love anything. You will never learn to love what's
next and learning to love what's in this season, there's
(12:15):
a story that I love and I'm probably gonna butcher it,
but it's the story of King Solomon. And King Solomon
at this point, he's like his wealth, he is point,
he's happy, he has all this money, and he commissions
one of his jewelry makers. He wants him to go
find or create a ring that will make him sad
when he's happy and will make him happy when he's sad.
(12:38):
So the jeweler goes and he's looking for the right
people to work with and create all these things, and
he goes throughout the entire town. He finds the right one.
He finds the right ring, and he brings it to Solomon.
And Solomon is in the middle of this big party.
He's like celebrating and laughing and eating and doing all
these things. He brings him the ring, and the moment
Solomon looks at the ring, he laughs and then he
immediately begins to cry. On that ring was inscribed around
(13:04):
the sides. Enjoy this because it won't last in a
better lack of words and shorter version of that, because
there's more to it, but it's just the shortest, shortest
reality that the good things won't last, But in that
same reef, the bad things won't last. We need to
learn to love where we are right now. We need
(13:24):
to learn to love the moment because it's gonna leave,
And we need to also learn that same breef that
the bad moments are bad. But we need to know
that those things are gonna leave. And even if that
season seems longer and tedious and it breaks your heart more,
if you learn to love where you are, then those
things lose their power. Now. A big struggle for a
(13:48):
lot of people and myself included, is that we tie
our self worth to our productivity. Like we tie how
good we are based on how much we do. We
tie our value and are just our personality and who
we are to the level of accolades that we achieve,
to the things that we make out of our lives.
(14:08):
I need you to understand that you are not your achievements.
You're not your success, You're not your work, you're not
your promotions, You're not the more money you're making you
are who you were made to be, and that's who's
worthy worth it, that's who's loved. Everything else that's beautiful.
It's great. It's great that you have achievements. I don't
want to downplay those things, because that's a byproduct of
(14:29):
your work, is showing how good and how applied you are.
But you are not those achievements. It doesn't mean that
if you don't succeed, because what happens, right, what happens
when you don't succeed, What happens when you don't hit
the goal, what happens when you don't get the promotion,
what happens when people can't see the things. Your worth
is not tied to those things. And for a lot
of us, we feel like we're not enough because we're
(14:49):
not hitting those strides. We think that we're not enough
because we're not blowing up on social media. We think
we're not enough because no one is acknowledging our hard work.
We think we're not enough because the people around us
see what we can do and never value that. I
need you to understand that seems like our theme word here,
that you are enough simply because you are. It's not
(15:11):
based on what you do, and who cheers for you,
who applause for you. It's based on who you were
made to be, and your worth is never going to
be tied to that. And I think, I personally think
that that is the tool to living a genuinely happy
and good life, like not connecting what people see or
do to who you are, Not not changing your persona
(15:34):
or your heart or your mind or how you feel
based on what these people say, or what the world says,
or how successful you are. It's this reality where we're
constantly seeking external validation. So we never internally learned to
love ourselves. We've looked at the perspective that everyone else's had,
(15:55):
and that's become our identity. And I know, I know
it's like a trigger word because there's so many things
that so many people say and do you and we
think that our identity is tied to you and all
of these wonderful things that just are important in a season,
but not for a life. They're good for where you are,
but they shouldn't be the thing that drives everything. So
(16:18):
I want just to challenge that. And again, I don't
know where you are, I don't know where you're listening.
I don't know what stage of your life you're in,
but I want you to challenge, Like, I really want
you to challenge that what in your life is the
reason that you think that your worth is tied something.
So it might be an example career, right, you might
be working at something and you think that if you're
(16:39):
successful in this thing, if you get the promotion, if
you get the pay bump, that this is going to
help you be defined. Like word is it that you're
going to fall into thinking that that is going to
tie and validate you. It could be the relationship. This
is like a common one. I feel like I've seen
this one so much that so many people people give
(17:01):
their worth to a relationship. They think that their boyfriend
or their girlfriend and their spouse, or even their husband
and their wife is going to be what validates them,
what gives them the feeling of being enough that their
words are their compliments, that those things are going to
be the things that drive that. Where is that particular
thing in your life? And this is everyone where we
(17:22):
all deal with this. We all go through this no
matter how big or how small, or how we're not successful.
We all have a struggle where we tend to and
it's not always right. There could be seasons where you're
doing really well and not falling into that, and there
are seasons where it's just falling completely thinking that man,
I will only be successful or loved or known based
(17:44):
on these things. So where in your life, and maybe
it's past already, then you were tying to these things
and really sitting with that and analyzing why, Like why
am I feeling that way? Why was that authority there?
Why was I allowing those things to just have so
much authority over me and allowing yourself to just be
(18:05):
able to be open and vulnerable with you. The truth
of the matter is that for a lot of people,
the places where they need to heal and grow from
are not places that are hidden to themselves. Like they know,
they know what needs to change and what needs to move.
The reason that they don't heal or change again, it
is not because they don't want to. It's because they
refuse to acknowledge their relationship to that thing. So they
(18:28):
refuse to acknowledge the fact that they've tied their validation
to how that was and how that is and the
only way that it's going to happen, the only way
they feel validated is through that and we see that
even again. I hate to use relationships again because it's
romantic relationships because I feel like it's easy to pick on.
But we do that with trauma bonding, right, So we
bond over something that someone's done to us or something
(18:50):
that's happened in our lives and that was dramatic and
we were both in that situation, so we created this
relationship that were connected to it. But that's not healthy.
That's not a place that we should be bonding. It's
something that we should be learning to heal from and
separate from. But we keep coming back to because we've
become familiarized with what that pain feels like. We'll dive
into the rest of this after these real quick commercials.
(19:11):
So as I say that, right, this relationship bonding and
trial bonding and all these things, a lot of us
don't feel like we're enough because somebody we've been in
a relationship with has not valued us, and they've taken
away that worth and that self worth that we were
in and they've created this gaping hole in us. So
we keep trying to seek validation and other people and
(19:32):
other things, and the places we commit mistakes and we
fall and we make a hot mess of us, so
this becomes a vicious psyconical. You created a cycle of
your pain, so you respond to the hurt, but not
to the healed version of you, and now you're living
in this fraw And the reason that we keep doing
that is because we are trying to identify and heal
what we felt like wasn't enough. And this becomes a
(19:53):
mountain for a lot of us that we stay down
because someone has put us down. I need you to
to understand again that word that you are not the
devalue or the lack of love that anyone's ever given you,
and will continue to play small and place short because
(20:15):
we think that we need to be in that We
think we need to be that way. We think that
if I try more in this place, at that place,
that's where I was not loved to value. So if
I try more there, that that's where I'm finally going
to be loved or valued. You are enough simply because
you are. And there is a sadness that happens, and
(20:35):
I'm speaking again from experience from people that I know,
where there are people who stay in that hurt for
their whole lives, like they create a home in their
wound and they never change and never move because they've
been so hurt and so scarred that they're willing to
miss out on amazing things for them because they can't
(20:58):
get out of it. They can't respet away from that.
And if this is you, if your person that's struggling
with this, unfortunately, the only way through is to be
in it. Like example, if you're if you're so hurt again,
we'll use that relationship example in relationships, Yes, take a
seas into heal. Yes, grow, Yes, change, develop and become better,
(21:19):
But you'll become comfortable hiding away from people because it
will save you from the wounds that you've had before.
Those wounds don't exist anymore. Those are things that were
said to you and that we're done to you, that
you were in and you grew and you healed from it.
But those things are not you. And you don't need
to remain underneath the hurt just because you think that's
(21:43):
all you'll ever be. I know again, it's one of
those easy things to say, and we can talk about
that for days, and we can make this claim that
you need to choose to move on, and I get it.
It's difficult to make the decision. But the reality is
that you are choosing something. You're either choosing to change
or you're choosing to remain. You're choosing this next stage,
(22:04):
or you're choosing the stage you're going to stay in.
And I'm not saying you have to pick the lesser
of two evils. But you can't say that things are
going to get better if you're not in a place
for them to move. Like you can't say that you
want to drive a car, but you refuse to get
in the driver's seat. You can't say that you want
(22:25):
to go outside, but you refuse to look out of
the door. There has to be something that is difficult
that you choose to change in so that everything else
can change. And we will miss out on amazing things
in our lives because we've looked at our self worth.
We keep thinking we're not enough, so we don't move
into the next place that will be enough, that will
show you that you are enough. You deserve the fullness
(22:45):
of what you were made for. Stop living in partiality,
Stop living in the breadcrumb, Stop living in the bare
minimum of your life. Stop you stop giving yourself the
bare minimum because you think that that's all you're worth.
We will never heal and we will never change because
we refuse to do the painful thing, We refuse to
take the next step, and we really believe that we're
not enough because someone else has lied to you about
(23:08):
your works. Until you decide to be present in your
own life, until you make the decision to say that
I'm no longer going to sit in the backseat of
my own life, I'm going to start driving. Until you
say that I'm willing to be hurt again, you will
never be fully loved. Since we're on that topic of
just romantic relationships, the reality is that it's impossible to
(23:31):
be fully loved without being fully vulnerable, like it's impossible
to feel and be immersed and completely enamored by love
if you're never willing to be hurt. Because it's impossible
to be close to love living inside of the walls
of your wounds. It is impossible for you to put
yourself into place to know that you are value, loved
(23:51):
and cared for if you are running away from it,
and you will continue to miss on everything that will
pour completely into you because you've thought that your past
wounds and your past mistakes will define everything you are.
I need you to understand again that nothing will change
if you don't allow it to you. And where you stay,
(24:13):
will you will stay, You will remain. No one can
pull you out of anything. You're the only one that
can show up for you. This is the power of
being persistent in your own life. This is the power
of saying that this thing that was said to me
or done to me no longer has authority, and I'm
going to put myself in a position to receive what
I deserve. The mountain of not feeling like you're enough,
(24:38):
it is only going to be destroyed or conquered by
challenging it. There is no mountain that is ever fixed
without you challenging it, without you looking at it, stepping
into it and saying, you know what, this is a lie,
and I'm going to change this and conquer this, and
I'm going to be bigger and better than this thing.
So as we just come to a close with this episode,
(25:02):
I really really think that for a lot of us,
we will never be the best version of us until
we're able to identify those things in our life that
make us feel like we're not enough, like not just
know that it extems from something or know that it
was something that we said to me, but really look
at it and say, where is it in my life
(25:24):
that I've been made feel felt like I'm not good
enough and really challenge those things. So again, as we
come to close, first, well, thank you for being on
this episode, thank you for listening, for your support, for
your constant support. And I just wanted to say the
last couple of minutes just for a quick off brand
(25:44):
I guess or impromptu message. I've been very fortunate to
be able to share on this podcast and to create
and to just have a space to create things. And
I don't know what next year has, right, I've been
very intentional about loving the Like I said, I'm I'm
not a hypocrite. I really do practice this stuff. So
if you listen this far, first, well thank you because
you're amazing. That means you're really listening to this podcast.
(26:07):
And it's not just the thing that you're throw in
the back for like fifteen minutes and after the next
commercial you can turn it off. But I really do
practice what I talk about, and I'm really intentional about
enjoying this season. I don't know how long it's gonna last,
I don't know if this podcast will get renewed. I
don't know if the plans that I have for the
next well next couple of months will be implemented, but
(26:27):
for next year, if those things will even come to flourish.
But again, I'm very intentional about loving and liking and
living in this season, and one thing that I know
that to make that possible would ultimately be you. If
you're listening right now, you are the reason that this
is even a thing that this podcast exists. And I
do have some hopes and some plans and some ideas
(26:49):
that I'm trying to hash out at least right now,
but it would all be based on the following year.
So what I ask, of course, the usual stuff like
if you can go and put those O five stars
or share that would download the podcast, because that's a
big metric here, how many downloads. But I want to
(27:09):
be able to create a community. So this is my
last timit of this message. I want to be able
to create a community where we're able to actually help people.
And I'm going to be given some messages later on
about that and kind of sharing a little more because
I think that the only way that we grow is
again in community, and a podcast is amazing and it's
great and it's great that you're listening, but there needs
(27:30):
to be more and there needs to be more tangible things.
It needs to be more growth and more showing up.
So that's my plan and my goal. We're not We're
not there yet, and I'm going to share it again
later in the future. But maybemore motivated dot com is
the website and I'm gonna be sharing some stuff on there.
So if you've ever had a question, something you wanted
to ask, something you wanted to just have a conversation over. Again,
I'm not the most perfect person in the world. I
(27:53):
might be more aloquate and I can speak a little
a little better, so that's probably why I deliver messages differently.
But if you ever had something that you wanted to discuss,
something that you wanted to hear a person that you
wanted to hear on this, that's going to be the place.
So I saved these last couple of minutes because I
wanted to give you that invitation, that push to go
ahead and let me know what you want. Where can
(28:14):
we better serve you? How can we better grow together?
And I'm going to be announced some of the things later on,
but at the very minimum that so just leave you
with that message that you are enough, that you are
doing what you need to do, and you're showing up
where you need to show up. And maybe you might
not be perfect today, maybe the only accomplishment you made
today was getting out of bed, but you did it.
You got up, you're moving, you played something. You're listening
(28:36):
to this and even if it doesn't feel like you're
improving today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, as
long as you're making some stride in some effort, things
will change. So thank you for listening to this episode,
and I'll catch you on the next one.
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