September 11, 2025 • 29 mins
You don’t keep quitting because you’re lazy, you quit because you don’t trust yourself. Every time you break a promise to yourself, you lower what you believe you’re capable of. This episode will show you how to rebuild that trust and finally stop giving up on yourself.
Stop Quitting on Yourself.
Made for this mountain with Joshua Rosa.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So I heard this quote once that said that the
point that everyone stops, like the point that people quit,
the point that they give up, the point where they
don't accomplish. I think they want to accomplish. That exact
point is where everybody quits. Like the difference between people
who are successful, people who make things happen, people who
create their dreams, people who actually do something good is
that they get to that point and they don't quit,
(00:20):
like they see this possibility, this reality, they see this
chance to just say, you know what, I'm giving up
on what I wanted to do, giving up with on
what's in my heart. I'm giving up on this thing
that I desire to do because I haven't been successful
in the effort. And the people who are the most
successful are the people that have gotten to that point
and said I'm going to push a little more, like
I'm gonna give a little more'm gonna show up little more.
(00:42):
We're going to continue to believe that I am fully
capable of this, that I'm capable of doing what I
need to do, that I have the talent and the gifting,
and it's not just about having it, it's about applying
it and about living and being relentless in success, you
have to be so relentless that the thing that you
want to happen has to happen just because.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
You are showing up every single day.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
This is made for this mountain with Josh Rosa or
we're turning pain into purpose. So we talk about this
mountain of quitting, how to stop quitting on yourself? And
I think this is something that is hard to understand
and hard to live out because it's something that's gonna
happen often, Like there is no person in this world.
I don't care how successful you are. I don't care
how well known you are, or how much emotional maturity
(01:22):
you have away in your life. You do you think
you have it all together. There always comes a point
when we start something new, when we start a task,
even when we're doing something we already know that we
have to make this decision. Is this worth pressing into?
Like is this thing gonna be something that's gonna be
fruit for or not fruitful? Am I going to give
up on it? Am I gonna press harder? Am I
gonna try harder? And first of all, before we even
(01:43):
dive into anything, if it's something that's genuine in your heart.
If there is a nudge, if there's something that's being
pushed in, something being pulled in your heart, and you
feel like you belong in this thing, then yes, you
belong there like that. That is a simple, upright and
straight answer that this is something that belongs in your
life because it belongs there. That's as simple as that.
If you know that you're good at this, if you
(02:04):
know that it's a talent of yours, you know that
you are capable of just being the best version of
you within it, then yes, of course, if you're doing
things because you want money, or because you want fame,
or do you want people to know you, or or
from a wounded place. If you're responding from a wound,
you will never be happy because you're only responding out
of your hurt and not out of your healing. You're
not responding out of growth. You're responding out of something
(02:25):
that died. So we won't grow into the things that
we're supposed to be. And that's why it's so easy
to quit and just not care about it because you
don't belong there. You know internally and deeply that it's
from something else, it's not from who you actually are.
So when we respond from that place. Of course, not
don't do it, that's not for you, that's not what
you're supposed to be. But when we respond from something
that's that's a tug in our heart and we're afraid
(02:47):
and we quit, and we think that people are gonna
judge us, or we base our successes or our failures
on them, that's when you really fall apart. That's when
when when we know we're supposed to be there and
we don't do it, and we quit and it hurts.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
That's what we feel. The struggle of.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
This mountain of quitting and consistently quitting on yourself. And
it's even deeper than that, right because a lot of
us quit because we haven't learned to trust us like
we've believed our mistakes. We've believed our past, we believed
our flaws, and we think that that's who we are,
so we do everything else.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Out of that place.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
We respond out of a place of hurt instead of
a place of healed. Respond from a pass hoole. And
the thing that has been said about me, I believe
what I've been told more than I know of what
I am. I'm stuck in that and this is our
first point there, and the reason that we struggle with
this mountain of quitting is that is you don't trust
yourself because you don't keep the promises that you make
(03:36):
to yourself. You don't allow yourself to actually live in
something fully and be who you fully can be, fully
are because you didn't keep the promises that you made
to yourself before you allowed yourself to revert. You allowed
yourself to go back. You allowed you do things. So
what happened to subconsciously or even consciously for a lot
of us, we knew that we couldn't at that point
because we went back, we reverted. So what we say is,
I'm never going to try again because I've done. I'm
(03:57):
never going to go back into this because I don't
trust me. I know I can't keep my word to myself.
I can't grow and I can't change because that's just
who I am.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
And I need you to dispel that lie.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Just because you haven't been able to before doesn't mean
that that's It doesn't mean that you're limited to that
place you're in it. Just because this thing it wasn't
at the capacity that it could have been, it doesn't
mean that you lower your ability or effort or time.
Because of that, you lower what you believe you can do.
When you become discouraged by what you didn't do, you
(04:30):
limit yourself because you think this is not capable for you.
And I need to understand that there is no person
in this world that's perfect, no one the best of
the best people at every sport. Kobe, Kobe Bryant one
of the greatest I ever played the sport of basketball.
And Kobe Bryant worked harder than absolutely everybody. And to
think about it so easy sometimes to get comfortable, like
(04:51):
it's so easy to sit in in our comfort and say, well,
this is as good as I'm going to get. So
we limit our abilities and we quit on ourselves. Ultimately,
that's what you're doing, right. When you limit your and
you get comfortable in your comfort, you quit on your growth.
And if you're not growing, you're dying. If there is
nothing changing and improving and becoming better, change becomes something new.
That Kobe would would wake up really early four point
(05:12):
thirty in the morning to go do his thing. He's
the greatest player that ever lived. That's a huge debate, right,
we say, Michael Jordan, you can say, Kobe, we can
say Lebron, this would be a fight. But maturing in
life is realizing that Kobe is the greatest basket player
it's ever exists. But Gobe had his fundamental reality where
even though he was the best in the league, he
also believed it and implied it and lived it. But
(05:35):
he also did the things that implicated that reality into
his life that he actively woke up and chased the
dream that he was living in. We have to realize
that the things that we want aren't is going to
happen to us, and if they're bigger, if you have
some big dreams, first of all, you should the things
should scare you, the things should motivate, you should drive you.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
But if you have.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Big dreams and big goals, they will never be accomplished
with small work. They would never be accomplished with small efforts.
They will never be accomplished with some that you're just
rolling out of bed and doing. It has to be
to a point where it's grueling and hard and difficult,
but you don't quit on.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
You because you know of what you're capable of. You
believe that you're growing.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
And then okay, and let's pretend that you're not even perfect.
Let's pretend you do not have the best in this.
Because you are consistent, you will do something that other
people aren't doing. You'll show up in ways that they're
not showing up. You'll create something that they're not creating,
not because you're better than them, but because you're working
harder than them. The only way to be the best
is to be undeniable, is to be the person that
(06:30):
works twice as hard and shows up and everything, and
you won't be perfect and absolutely everything. I need you
to understand that sometimes we distribute our energy in different
places and think that if we could juggle multiple hats,
that that's what will be better. I need you to
be the best in what you are good at, improve
at that, and then include the other things later on.
But make that the center focus of where your energy
is distributed, because if you're divided, you'll be conquered. You
(06:52):
can't create something good in a place that you aren't
giving your absolute focus to. Could be that same component
basketball as everything. Obviously his life revolved the other things.
He was a faithful man. He would go to mass
on a regular weekday masses and he would sit there
and he would live that.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
And that was.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
His faith was a grounding thing for him, but his
life revolved around the thing that he had the passion for.
Obviously God is separate, that's God is above all things,
but in this world and this earth what his passion was.
And we'll dive a little bit deeper into this after
these real quick commercial breaks. So coming back to that,
this is a reality that passion should drive our desire
(07:30):
and not our fear. What happens if a lot of
us is that we get stuck in this fear mode.
We think that we failed before, so we're gonna feel again.
We think that this is gonna happen. There's another quote
right that says, if you knew that your life was
just thirty failures away, how quick would you try to fail? Like?
How often would try to feel? You'll try to fail
every day if you could. If all you needed was
(07:50):
thirty failures, were thirty one to be the day that
life was successful and good, then you would fail often,
feel hard, and fail out. And that's how you're supposed
to do it. That's how we grow, that's how we become.
This version of us is best why because we didn't fail,
We just learned every aspect of this thing. And when
you learn everything about something, you become a master of it.
You become the best in it because you learned to
fail often and fail well, and fail to a point
(08:13):
that you learned and you grew and this thing now
becomes a part of the story. This mountain that where
a lot of us are in that we're stuck on.
Is this fear of quitting. We keep quitting on our
stulves because we get to a certain point and realize
how difficult it is. It's supposed to be difficult. This
is like the thing that we all need to process
because there are times that I revert to this too.
(08:34):
It's supposed to be difficult. The good thing, the successful thing,
the mountain that you're supposed to overcome. It's supposed to
be difficult. The thing that's going to change it become
different than this world is supposed to be difficult. If
it wasn't difficult, it's not worth doing. If it wasn't difficult,
everyone would do it. If it wasn't difficult, you wouldn't
be the only person trying to conquer this. It's difficult,
it's hard. It's supposed to be. But the difference happens.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
The thing that changes.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
The game changer is when you start believing that you
are capable more than you start doubting it. Then you
start living in this reality where you are doing something
because you know you can, not just because you're afraid,
not because it's the only option you have, but because
you know that you have the capacity. It's okay not
to be super productive every single day. Sometimes not quitting
(09:19):
on yourself comes from having compassion of where you are
right now, allowing yourself to rest. This is the reality
that sometimes we overwork ourselves right now. I want to
be distinctive with that right because you should be working,
you should be putting in the effort, you should be
putting in the time. But that also comes from a
place of rest. That also comes from a place of saying, Okay,
I've done so much work here, let me relax and
(09:42):
let the things marit it and grow. I'm not saying
stay there right now, not make that home, not make
that the comfort of everything you do. But you will
never do anything productive for yourself if you're overworked and
burnt out. You'll never be able to grow if you're
burned out.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
So what does rest look like? And that's for me again,
I speak from.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
A place of experience, especially especially in this realm of
burn out, because I've burnt out so many times. And
there was a season in my life where I was
just teaching, and I was traveling as a speaker, and
it was writing for organizations, and it was doing all
these things that got me to a point where I
was just like, man, I don't I don't want to
do any of this, Like it's just a reality that
(10:20):
it just didn't sit right. And for me, I'm very
fortunate that I got this positive image of work, well,
in a way positive image of work from my family
because again Dominican, so Dominicans, we have we pride ourselves,
especially as men, as to the work that we do right.
And so my grandfather would wake up at four in
the morning to go and to work in a factory.
(10:40):
And first of all, there's nothing wrong with working in
a factory. There's nothing wrong with having a real job.
There's nothing wrong with having a job that you work
with your hands. There's nothing wrong with that. But it's
also very distinctive to think that that is the limit
to the life that they believe because that's all they
were capable of doing. But then there's something beautiful that
comes with this. There's always this beauty in this symmetry,
because there is a work ethic that was driven there
(11:02):
that many people don't have. And I'm grateful for the
life that I grew up in. By no means was
I like dirt poor and we lived in the streets.
But there were many times where I now in retrospect,
I could see that my mom had to squeeze things
to make things happen. In fact, there was a point
in our lives where we lived in a room, Like
my mom and I were living literally in a room.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
We rented a room, and that was a life.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
And when we were living before that, right we're living
with my grandparents. It was amazing to see what that
work ethic looked like. And I think that that's only
found the reason that I am the way I am today,
the reason that I pushed myself so much, and that
I put myself out there and I develop and hone
in and grow in my skills. And this is against
personal to me, but hopefully you're connecting to something here.
(11:50):
It's because I was able to see enough suffering and
enough effort to see what it looks like to make change,
to see what it looks like to show up and
wake up early and do the work and do the
work that other people don't want to do, and become
different and be something different. To also see the fact
that I had to go through that, and I hope
to never go through that again, to never live in that,
and not quitting on me, and knowing that I have
(12:11):
to bet on me because I'm the only one that's
going to show up and do the work for me.
Being able to take that ugly and see the beauty
within it and then implement that in my life and
never want to be in a position where that's the last.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Thing I have.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Now, I'm not saying that the only way you can
become successful and good and happy and not quitting yourself
is by having a miserable pass, because not everyone relates
to those things.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Yes, a lot of people do. Right, We've suffered become through.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
A lot, especially especially like if you're second first generation
American or you're coming from an immigrant family, there's things
that they had to deal with and handle that most
people did it like, it's very different to understand that
that dynamic because you're coming completely from a different country
into this place. And having to change and work hard
and create all these things. There's a very very different
dynamics than people that were born in certain areas and
(13:00):
they just received things. It was easier because it was
just part of the common status quo, like it just
kept rolling. I'm not saying everyone has the same situation
or same background, but I am saying that everyone has
the same motivation when it comes to growth, when it
comes to not quitting, when it comes to changing, we
all have that same exact thing. Whatever that threat looks like.
It might look different, but it all leads to the
(13:20):
same place the same way. When you develop certain things
in you that you allow yourself to not see the
terrible right in your life self to Okay, let me
correct that now that you don't see the terrible because
you see it. It's there, it exists, but it doesn't
drive what you do next, Like it doesn't make you
say I'm not gonna do this because I've seen what
this looks like and it hasn't been successful for them,
(13:42):
or for me or for my past, so I'm not
gonna waste my time on it. Well, you don't allow
those things, those terrible things, to continue to dictate your
steps in your path. That's when you limit what that's like. Now,
I do want to emphasize the rest because it's important.
How do you rest? Like I struggle with this when
I was talking. I'm bringing to this point with burnout,
and it's really prioritizing things that take you away from
(14:06):
everything else. Like obviously there's certain things that we can
never leave, like I have a son, right I have
to care for and care for him, and I have
to be there in present and you know, my family,
my friends. But it's being able to prioritize time that
is just dedicated to checking in with yourself, and sometimes
that could take a day or two days whatever that is,
or three days whatever that looks like. It's being able
(14:28):
to just sit and say, this is where I'm at
right now, and for right now, for the time that
I'm here, I'm just going to disconnect from everything else.
I think one struggle that we have and I know
I struggle with this, I mean most people do. And
the chances are if you are like listening to this
podcast or watching it, or if I somehow made this
into a short somehow, if that particular thing, if you're
(14:52):
on one of these things, particularly this might be one
of those issues that you have.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
And this is the.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Whole facet of the digital era that we're in. Right again,
you do like the whole blue light and all those things,
and how your serotonin is confused and conflicted, and how
dopamine is released whenever you're on like social media and
all those things. There's a science to that is really deep,
but just the very practical of it that there is
something that we're constantly doing, so our brains are constantly running.
(15:18):
We need to disconnect. We need to have times and
moments where I literally do nothing, like I sit and
an greed, or I sit and just stare at a
whole watch paint dry, do something that's taking you away
from this realm of just constant stimulation, and it's allowing
you to just be present with you. The reason that
(15:39):
that a lot of struggle to know ourselves, to really
have confidence in us, to really trust ourselves, is because
we never spend time alone. And a lot of people
are afraid to be alone because they're afraid of their thoughts.
They're afraid of that they're going to have to unpack
and work through and heal through things.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
And I get it.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
That's a very scary and frustrating thing to be in,
but you will never know who you are and be
able to grow. If you're constantly doing something, You're gonna
burn out. That's the only thing that's gonna happen. It's burnout.
At the end of the day, you will consistently be
and burnout because of that. So, yes, we'll continue on
with this mountain of not quitting on.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yourself and all these things.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
But before we even get to the rest of these,
just this reality that you need to have time that
you spend and dedicate to you to just say I'm away,
And honestly, even if you have to schedule it, because
I have to schedule everything in my life at this point,
put it in your schedule. If it's only a couple hours,
or you're gonna dedicate maybe a day, whatever it is,
(16:35):
put it in there. And even if again you're a
very busy person and a lot of things going on,
tell people, hey, from this time to this time, I'm
not existing to you. If it's an emergency, okay, whatever,
but I'm going to prioritize the time that I dedicate
to me because if I can't the airplane analogy, right,
if I can't put the mask on myself first, I'll
(16:56):
never be able to help anyone else. And you can't
spawn healthy or from a healthy position from a place
of burnout. So allowing yourself to do that. So you'll
stop quitting on yourself when you learn to have radical
accountability for yourself, like you'll stop giving up on you
when you are able to look at the things that
have happened and say that you're taking accountability for this.
(17:19):
You're saying that, yes, it doesn't mean that you have
all the problems. To be clear, it doesn't mean that
you have it all together.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
It doesn't mean.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
That you are your flawless and everything is just. It
just means that you're radically aware of what you need
to work on and improve and make efforts towards. Again,
I said, don't over saturate yourself with different things. But
there are things that should be goals to set for
you to heal, to grow, and you have to be accountable. Now,
this doesn't mean either that you're going to have it
all figured out right away. I know the areas I
(17:45):
need to improve, and I'm trying. I'm making efforts. I'm
accountable for the fact that I'm feeling certain things, but
I'm accountable for the change that I'm trying to make,
the change that will make. When you become accountable for
yourself and you become radically accountable, you don't hold yourself
behind the wall of the the fake image or the
facade that you're creating about you. You confront yourself. You say, hey,
(18:06):
this is not where I'm doing. It's not where i'm iproving,
it's not what I'm doing. It's not as good as.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
It can be. Let's change, let's work on this.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Radical accountability just says that you take ownership over the thing.
It doesn't mean that you don't mess up right, It
doesn't mean that you don't have flaws and you don't
make mistakes. It's just you become radically accountable. You're aware
of what this thing is and you do what you
need to do to change it. And that even goes
deeper with even relationships with other people. Right, because sometimes
(18:33):
the reason that we could keep going back to certain
things and reverting to certain things is because we're not
accountable for our position of it. You might have been
hurt and they might have done things to you, but
you're still accountable for how you respond, or how you
let things, let things trigger you, or where you go to.
It becomes accountable for all these things. So we stop
putting on ourselves when we become radically accountable for ourselves,
(18:54):
when you look at you and say, no, this is
what's wrong, this is what needs to change, and this
is where I'm going to change it. Becoming untable does
not mean that you're perfect. It just means that you're
making strives and effort to change to be something more
and something different. We become more confident in ourselves when
we identify the things that trigger us, that we identify
(19:16):
the things that that we come to, the wall that
we face, this mountain that we face, and we look
at it and we say, well, I can't overcome that
because of X, Y and Z, because of what was
said to me, because of what was done to me,
because of where I was put. We will stop quitting
on us, We'll stop giving up on ourselves when we
stop identifying ourselves the things that have been done to us.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
With our past.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
This is one of the hardest roadblocks for a lot
of people. If there's people that will spend years in
therapy and help and all these things and try to
grow through these things, and then they won't. They won't
be able to conquer it because they haven't authentically faced
what that mountain looks like. Like, they haven't gone to
that and said, I'm going to be accountable.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
I'm gonna look at this and say.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
That I keep giving this power and keep letting that
things stop me from living the dream that I want
to live. I want to be clear, just because you
want to do something doesn't mean that it's the thing
that's perfectly for you. Like like I would want to
play basketball. Could I play in the NBA? Probably not?
To be honest, I'm not that's all. I'm okay, But
(20:20):
I'm not tall enough to be in the NBA. Now
that this is one of those things that I have
to talk about practicalities and quitting on yourself doesn't mean
living in impractical dreams. And we'll talk a little bit
more about that after these real quick commercial breaks. So
what I mean by that, right that we're living in
impracticabilities in practical things. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't
(20:43):
have a dream, but it means is that dream practical
with things that I can do and the things that
are at my disposal. You can work as hard as
hard as you want. Right, I can practice every single
day and I can shoot a three point in every
single moment.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I might be the best coach ever.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
But the reality is that I probably right now wouldn't
make it right, wouldn't make it into.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Something like that. So is it practical? Is the thing
that you are in actually practical? Now? Does it mean
that you stop doing the.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Things that you love just because you're not going to
become super successful in it? No, because there's a difference
between growing in something and again, So let's let's take
that thing. We're taking basketball, what you're working on your dream,
and now what you keep get quitting on, make that
your thing. I'll just use basketball as an example here.
But I might not be in the NBA right that
(21:36):
might be the thing that I joined into that I
get into. But I can be a great coach in
certain aspects. I can be a great content creator in
certain aspect. I can love and know something so deeply
that I can be one of the greatest commentators of it.
It doesn't mean because you didn't hit the goal the
way you thought that you were going to hit that.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
You need to quit.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
There are things that are adjacent to it because you
failed so many times you became a master of it
that you can see the thing from actives that most
people can't see. But a lot of people think that
they need to hit a home run in the place
that they want to be. They want to be an
amazing star singer or whatever. But you don't have the
chops for that particular thing. But you can learn how
(22:15):
to navigate around those things. It might not be the
thing directly. You don't have to quit the dream. It
just sometimes means that we need to navigate the dream differently.
And I say this not to be mean or not
to discourage and anything, but sometimes we fail to have
people in our lives that tell us, look, you're good
at this, but it might be a hindrance for you
(22:36):
to try to be something that's unrealistic. Now I don't
believe that anything is unrealistic. So this is the hard
part because there is there has to be this level
of insane work and insane growth and everything is possible,
but is it probable?
Speaker 2 (22:52):
That possible and probable are two different things.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
It's possible, of course, because you're doing the work you
put in the time, but is it probable that you'll
be in a position like that. Now basketball, obviously that's
an extreme because there's not just height, there's time, there's datings,
all those things that are going to go into that.
But certain aspects of our lives we won't be able
to Again. When you're singing, maybe I'm not the greatest
singer I sing, and people leave for.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
The wrong reasons.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Right, The fact is that I can take voice lessons
and I can improve and I could become okay, but
it doesn't mean that I would. That is not probable
that I would be a superstar from that thing. So
it's taken in this thing that I'm in and realizing
that maybe the way I want to be in it
isn't the way I should be in it. Right, that
I might not have the gifting or the talent that
(23:38):
was naturally needed for that particular thing because it's so
unique that I need to see it from a different perspective. Now,
what happens is a lot of people quit themselves. They
would see that they can't make it as as a
basketball players, that they can't start for the knicks or
the nets, and they'll make that thing and they'll say,
well I can't start and I can't get in this team, so.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
I quit everything period.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Why would you quit something that you love, Like, why
would you quit the thing that drives you to do
the best you can? Why would you quit where you're
great at knowing and loving being that just because you
can't have one particular aspect of it. I'm not saying
that we need to limit our dreams. I am saying
that we need to read define what's probable.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Practical, and possible.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
We need to look at what we do and what
we create and live within those things because the reality
is that there are some things in our lives that
we're confined to. Like I can't change my hype, I
can't change my age. I can't change those things. But
I could work really hard at growing in the things
that are timeless, the things that don't require me to
(24:42):
look a certain way, and staying there and actually creating that.
This is where our big big takeaway here is is
how do you speak to yourself in this?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Like?
Speaker 1 (24:52):
How do you talk to yourself about the things because
a lot of us are so negative, Like we are
our own biggest enemy. You're supposed to be your biggest dream,
yet you end up being your biggest critic. You end
up being your biggest enemy. You end up being the
reason why you don't live and the thing you want
to live in because you talk worse to you than
other people. Do you limit your possibility capability and just
(25:13):
chance to make this thing happen because you don't speak
to yourself very nicely, and just think about it. My plants,
there's actually an experiment that was done by Akia out
of all places, and what they did is that they
brought a bunch of kids to the school from the school,
and what they did is they brought them to Ikea
and they had two plants. They had two sets of
plants in different rooms, and one plant they had a
(25:34):
loop playing over and over again that was speaking positively
to the plant, that was affirmative or giving positive words,
telling you how good it was, how productive, how beautiful
green it was. And then the other room was another
plant in which had loops of negative words, so destroying
and diminishing the plant and talking negative to it. And
these kids were able to see the difference between these things.
It's a video you could YouTube bit watch it later.
(25:56):
What happened is that the plant that was spoken to
with profound affirmation and positive words, flourished, it grew. They
were fed the same thing. They were the same kind
of plant, they were given the same amount of water,
same everything. There was no difference in any of the rooms,
even sunlight, except the words that it heard on repeating
the things that were said to it. For a lot
of us, we will become the things that we hear.
(26:17):
So if we speak negatively to us, we will become
those negative things, and we attack ourselves often we will
be that thing that attacks us. If you speak positively,
if you speak growth in you. And this is not
like some like hudo mumble jumbo stuff like this is
real practical thing because your brain, the way it works,
the neuroplasticity in your brain literally changes and is malleable to.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
The things that you say or do.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
It's how you speak to you that will change what.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
You do next. How you actually affirm who you are
and grow.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Into that that's going to completely alter.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
What you do next.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
And the way that you will grow is by speaking
positive to you. The problem is that a lot of
us we fall into this rut of believing that we
can't because somebody else, that we couldn't believe the negative
things of ourselves because it's so much easier to believe
the lie than it is to believe the truth. We
fall into this lie that we never will so we
believe on it. We believe it, We quit on ourselves
(27:10):
because of that. You will never be who you are
meant to be if you keep pretending to be less
than that, like you will never be the full version
of you if you keep allowing the lies to be
so loud. And I get it. I'm not saying it's easy.
I'm not saying that this doesn't come at an expense
(27:30):
and a cost and a change. But we have to
continue to grow in us, continue to speak positively, continue
to let ourselves be who we actually are, because that's
what's that's the game changer.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
That's the difference.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
You'll stop quitting on yourself when you start speaking into yourself.
You'll stop quitting on yourself when you believe that you can, you.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Will, you must.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
And that's a phrase I've been living my life by.
I can, I will, I'm us because what I need
to do has to happen because I know I'm capable
and I can do it, and I will do it
because I have that ability, and I must do it
because everything else I believe comes to that point. But
you will give up on yourself consistently if you keep
speaking to yourself in the ways.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
That limit you.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
You'll look at the mountain and you'll say, I'm never
gonna be able to conquer this thing because this thing
is so profound and so deep, and I'm this, and
that you are your own biggest enemy when you need
to be your own biggest cheerleader. You gotta stop giving
into that. There's enough people in this world that are
gonna hate on you, there's enough people in this world
they are gonna talk about you. There's enough people that
are gonna have all these negative things to say about you.
(28:36):
Make sure that you're not one of them. Make sure
that you're not joining in at the meaning and the
destroying of your character and of.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Your weight and of who you are.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Because you think that you're not capable.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
You are more than capable. And I'm not just saying that,
because our reality is the realistens this.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
I probably don't even know who you are, but I
do know what's in it each and every one of us.
What we have capable in the depths of our hearts.
You have the ability to make mountains move. You have
the ability to change your world simply because you refuse
to quit. You might not change the whole world, but
you'll change the world around you because you were persistently
who you were called to be. But if you give up,
(29:12):
then that's it. You can't say that you live the
life that you were meant to live in this world
when you kept quitting. So when we look at this
mountain that helps us to stop quitting, we need to
realize that the only way things will change is that
we're open to it and we do the work to change.
Thank you so much for being on this episode. Thank
you for listening, and I'm just glad you're here. And
(29:33):
if you listened all the way through. First of all,
thank you. I mean, first of all, you're helping the numbers,
which is awesome, but even bigger that means this is
an impact happening. So thank you for that, thank you
for your support, thank you for being president. Thank you
for listening. Or we're watching wherever you are and we'll
check you on the next one.
So I heard this quote once that said that the
point that everyone stops, like the point that people quit,
the point that they give up, the point where they
don't accomplish. I think they want to accomplish. That exact
point is where everybody quits. Like the difference between people
who are successful, people who make things happen, people who
create their dreams, people who actually do something good is
that they get to that point and they don't quit,
(00:20):
like they see this possibility, this reality, they see this
chance to just say, you know what, I'm giving up
on what I wanted to do, giving up with on
what's in my heart. I'm giving up on this thing
that I desire to do because I haven't been successful
in the effort. And the people who are the most
successful are the people that have gotten to that point
and said I'm going to push a little more, like
I'm gonna give a little more'm gonna show up little more.
(00:42):
We're going to continue to believe that I am fully
capable of this, that I'm capable of doing what I
need to do, that I have the talent and the gifting,
and it's not just about having it, it's about applying
it and about living and being relentless in success, you
have to be so relentless that the thing that you
want to happen has to happen just because.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
You are showing up every single day.
Speaker 1 (01:00):
This is made for this mountain with Josh Rosa or
we're turning pain into purpose. So we talk about this
mountain of quitting, how to stop quitting on yourself? And
I think this is something that is hard to understand
and hard to live out because it's something that's gonna
happen often, Like there is no person in this world.
I don't care how successful you are. I don't care
how well known you are, or how much emotional maturity
(01:22):
you have away in your life. You do you think
you have it all together. There always comes a point
when we start something new, when we start a task,
even when we're doing something we already know that we
have to make this decision. Is this worth pressing into?
Like is this thing gonna be something that's gonna be
fruit for or not fruitful? Am I going to give
up on it? Am I gonna press harder? Am I
gonna try harder? And first of all, before we even
(01:43):
dive into anything, if it's something that's genuine in your heart.
If there is a nudge, if there's something that's being
pushed in, something being pulled in your heart, and you
feel like you belong in this thing, then yes, you
belong there like that. That is a simple, upright and
straight answer that this is something that belongs in your
life because it belongs there. That's as simple as that.
If you know that you're good at this, if you
(02:04):
know that it's a talent of yours, you know that
you are capable of just being the best version of
you within it, then yes, of course, if you're doing
things because you want money, or because you want fame,
or do you want people to know you, or or
from a wounded place. If you're responding from a wound,
you will never be happy because you're only responding out
of your hurt and not out of your healing. You're
not responding out of growth. You're responding out of something
(02:25):
that died. So we won't grow into the things that
we're supposed to be. And that's why it's so easy
to quit and just not care about it because you
don't belong there. You know internally and deeply that it's
from something else, it's not from who you actually are.
So when we respond from that place. Of course, not
don't do it, that's not for you, that's not what
you're supposed to be. But when we respond from something
that's that's a tug in our heart and we're afraid
(02:47):
and we quit, and we think that people are gonna
judge us, or we base our successes or our failures
on them, that's when you really fall apart. That's when
when when we know we're supposed to be there and
we don't do it, and we quit and it hurts.
Speaker 2 (02:59):
That's what we feel. The struggle of.
Speaker 1 (03:01):
This mountain of quitting and consistently quitting on yourself. And
it's even deeper than that, right because a lot of
us quit because we haven't learned to trust us like
we've believed our mistakes. We've believed our past, we believed
our flaws, and we think that that's who we are,
so we do everything else.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Out of that place.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
We respond out of a place of hurt instead of
a place of healed. Respond from a pass hoole. And
the thing that has been said about me, I believe
what I've been told more than I know of what
I am. I'm stuck in that and this is our
first point there, and the reason that we struggle with
this mountain of quitting is that is you don't trust
yourself because you don't keep the promises that you make
(03:36):
to yourself. You don't allow yourself to actually live in
something fully and be who you fully can be, fully
are because you didn't keep the promises that you made
to yourself before you allowed yourself to revert. You allowed
yourself to go back. You allowed you do things. So
what happened to subconsciously or even consciously for a lot
of us, we knew that we couldn't at that point
because we went back, we reverted. So what we say is,
I'm never going to try again because I've done. I'm
(03:57):
never going to go back into this because I don't
trust me. I know I can't keep my word to myself.
I can't grow and I can't change because that's just
who I am.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
And I need you to dispel that lie.
Speaker 1 (04:09):
Just because you haven't been able to before doesn't mean
that that's It doesn't mean that you're limited to that
place you're in it. Just because this thing it wasn't
at the capacity that it could have been, it doesn't
mean that you lower your ability or effort or time.
Because of that, you lower what you believe you can do.
When you become discouraged by what you didn't do, you
(04:30):
limit yourself because you think this is not capable for you.
And I need to understand that there is no person
in this world that's perfect, no one the best of
the best people at every sport. Kobe, Kobe Bryant one
of the greatest I ever played the sport of basketball.
And Kobe Bryant worked harder than absolutely everybody. And to
think about it so easy sometimes to get comfortable, like
(04:51):
it's so easy to sit in in our comfort and say, well,
this is as good as I'm going to get. So
we limit our abilities and we quit on ourselves. Ultimately,
that's what you're doing, right. When you limit your and
you get comfortable in your comfort, you quit on your growth.
And if you're not growing, you're dying. If there is
nothing changing and improving and becoming better, change becomes something new.
That Kobe would would wake up really early four point
(05:12):
thirty in the morning to go do his thing. He's
the greatest player that ever lived. That's a huge debate, right,
we say, Michael Jordan, you can say, Kobe, we can
say Lebron, this would be a fight. But maturing in
life is realizing that Kobe is the greatest basket player
it's ever exists. But Gobe had his fundamental reality where
even though he was the best in the league, he
also believed it and implied it and lived it. But
(05:35):
he also did the things that implicated that reality into
his life that he actively woke up and chased the
dream that he was living in. We have to realize
that the things that we want aren't is going to
happen to us, and if they're bigger, if you have
some big dreams, first of all, you should the things
should scare you, the things should motivate, you should drive you.
Speaker 2 (05:52):
But if you have.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Big dreams and big goals, they will never be accomplished
with small work. They would never be accomplished with small efforts.
They will never be accomplished with some that you're just
rolling out of bed and doing. It has to be
to a point where it's grueling and hard and difficult,
but you don't quit on.
Speaker 2 (06:06):
You because you know of what you're capable of. You
believe that you're growing.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
And then okay, and let's pretend that you're not even perfect.
Let's pretend you do not have the best in this.
Because you are consistent, you will do something that other
people aren't doing. You'll show up in ways that they're
not showing up. You'll create something that they're not creating,
not because you're better than them, but because you're working
harder than them. The only way to be the best
is to be undeniable, is to be the person that
(06:30):
works twice as hard and shows up and everything, and
you won't be perfect and absolutely everything. I need you
to understand that sometimes we distribute our energy in different
places and think that if we could juggle multiple hats,
that that's what will be better. I need you to
be the best in what you are good at, improve
at that, and then include the other things later on.
But make that the center focus of where your energy
is distributed, because if you're divided, you'll be conquered. You
(06:52):
can't create something good in a place that you aren't
giving your absolute focus to. Could be that same component
basketball as everything. Obviously his life revolved the other things.
He was a faithful man. He would go to mass
on a regular weekday masses and he would sit there
and he would live that.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
And that was.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
His faith was a grounding thing for him, but his
life revolved around the thing that he had the passion for.
Obviously God is separate, that's God is above all things,
but in this world and this earth what his passion was.
And we'll dive a little bit deeper into this after
these real quick commercial breaks. So coming back to that,
this is a reality that passion should drive our desire
(07:30):
and not our fear. What happens if a lot of
us is that we get stuck in this fear mode.
We think that we failed before, so we're gonna feel again.
We think that this is gonna happen. There's another quote
right that says, if you knew that your life was
just thirty failures away, how quick would you try to fail? Like?
How often would try to feel? You'll try to fail
every day if you could. If all you needed was
(07:50):
thirty failures, were thirty one to be the day that
life was successful and good, then you would fail often,
feel hard, and fail out. And that's how you're supposed
to do it. That's how we grow, that's how we become.
This version of us is best why because we didn't fail,
We just learned every aspect of this thing. And when
you learn everything about something, you become a master of it.
You become the best in it because you learned to
fail often and fail well, and fail to a point
(08:13):
that you learned and you grew and this thing now
becomes a part of the story. This mountain that where
a lot of us are in that we're stuck on.
Is this fear of quitting. We keep quitting on our
stulves because we get to a certain point and realize
how difficult it is. It's supposed to be difficult. This
is like the thing that we all need to process
because there are times that I revert to this too.
(08:34):
It's supposed to be difficult. The good thing, the successful thing,
the mountain that you're supposed to overcome. It's supposed to
be difficult. The thing that's going to change it become
different than this world is supposed to be difficult. If
it wasn't difficult, it's not worth doing. If it wasn't difficult,
everyone would do it. If it wasn't difficult, you wouldn't
be the only person trying to conquer this. It's difficult,
it's hard. It's supposed to be. But the difference happens.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
The thing that changes.
Speaker 1 (08:58):
The game changer is when you start believing that you
are capable more than you start doubting it. Then you
start living in this reality where you are doing something
because you know you can, not just because you're afraid,
not because it's the only option you have, but because
you know that you have the capacity. It's okay not
to be super productive every single day. Sometimes not quitting
(09:19):
on yourself comes from having compassion of where you are
right now, allowing yourself to rest. This is the reality
that sometimes we overwork ourselves right now. I want to
be distinctive with that right because you should be working,
you should be putting in the effort, you should be
putting in the time. But that also comes from a
place of rest. That also comes from a place of saying, Okay,
I've done so much work here, let me relax and
(09:42):
let the things marit it and grow. I'm not saying
stay there right now, not make that home, not make
that the comfort of everything you do. But you will
never do anything productive for yourself if you're overworked and
burnt out. You'll never be able to grow if you're
burned out.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
So what does rest look like? And that's for me again,
I speak from.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
A place of experience, especially especially in this realm of
burn out, because I've burnt out so many times. And
there was a season in my life where I was
just teaching, and I was traveling as a speaker, and
it was writing for organizations, and it was doing all
these things that got me to a point where I
was just like, man, I don't I don't want to
do any of this, Like it's just a reality that
(10:20):
it just didn't sit right. And for me, I'm very
fortunate that I got this positive image of work, well,
in a way positive image of work from my family
because again Dominican, so Dominicans, we have we pride ourselves,
especially as men, as to the work that we do right.
And so my grandfather would wake up at four in
the morning to go and to work in a factory.
(10:40):
And first of all, there's nothing wrong with working in
a factory. There's nothing wrong with having a real job.
There's nothing wrong with having a job that you work
with your hands. There's nothing wrong with that. But it's
also very distinctive to think that that is the limit
to the life that they believe because that's all they
were capable of doing. But then there's something beautiful that
comes with this. There's always this beauty in this symmetry,
because there is a work ethic that was driven there
(11:02):
that many people don't have. And I'm grateful for the
life that I grew up in. By no means was
I like dirt poor and we lived in the streets.
But there were many times where I now in retrospect,
I could see that my mom had to squeeze things
to make things happen. In fact, there was a point
in our lives where we lived in a room, Like
my mom and I were living literally in a room.
Speaker 2 (11:24):
We rented a room, and that was a life.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
And when we were living before that, right we're living
with my grandparents. It was amazing to see what that
work ethic looked like. And I think that that's only
found the reason that I am the way I am today,
the reason that I pushed myself so much, and that
I put myself out there and I develop and hone
in and grow in my skills. And this is against
personal to me, but hopefully you're connecting to something here.
(11:50):
It's because I was able to see enough suffering and
enough effort to see what it looks like to make change,
to see what it looks like to show up and
wake up early and do the work and do the
work that other people don't want to do, and become
different and be something different. To also see the fact
that I had to go through that, and I hope
to never go through that again, to never live in that,
and not quitting on me, and knowing that I have
(12:11):
to bet on me because I'm the only one that's
going to show up and do the work for me.
Being able to take that ugly and see the beauty
within it and then implement that in my life and
never want to be in a position where that's the last.
Speaker 2 (12:24):
Thing I have.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
Now, I'm not saying that the only way you can
become successful and good and happy and not quitting yourself
is by having a miserable pass, because not everyone relates
to those things.
Speaker 2 (12:37):
Yes, a lot of people do. Right, We've suffered become through.
Speaker 1 (12:39):
A lot, especially especially like if you're second first generation
American or you're coming from an immigrant family, there's things
that they had to deal with and handle that most
people did it like, it's very different to understand that
that dynamic because you're coming completely from a different country
into this place. And having to change and work hard
and create all these things. There's a very very different
dynamics than people that were born in certain areas and
(13:00):
they just received things. It was easier because it was
just part of the common status quo, like it just
kept rolling. I'm not saying everyone has the same situation
or same background, but I am saying that everyone has
the same motivation when it comes to growth, when it
comes to not quitting, when it comes to changing, we
all have that same exact thing. Whatever that threat looks like.
It might look different, but it all leads to the
(13:20):
same place the same way. When you develop certain things
in you that you allow yourself to not see the
terrible right in your life self to Okay, let me
correct that now that you don't see the terrible because
you see it. It's there, it exists, but it doesn't
drive what you do next, Like it doesn't make you
say I'm not gonna do this because I've seen what
this looks like and it hasn't been successful for them,
(13:42):
or for me or for my past, so I'm not
gonna waste my time on it. Well, you don't allow
those things, those terrible things, to continue to dictate your
steps in your path. That's when you limit what that's like. Now,
I do want to emphasize the rest because it's important.
How do you rest? Like I struggle with this when
I was talking. I'm bringing to this point with burnout,
and it's really prioritizing things that take you away from
(14:06):
everything else. Like obviously there's certain things that we can
never leave, like I have a son, right I have
to care for and care for him, and I have
to be there in present and you know, my family,
my friends. But it's being able to prioritize time that
is just dedicated to checking in with yourself, and sometimes
that could take a day or two days whatever that is,
or three days whatever that looks like. It's being able
(14:28):
to just sit and say, this is where I'm at
right now, and for right now, for the time that
I'm here, I'm just going to disconnect from everything else.
I think one struggle that we have and I know
I struggle with this, I mean most people do. And
the chances are if you are like listening to this
podcast or watching it, or if I somehow made this
into a short somehow, if that particular thing, if you're
(14:52):
on one of these things, particularly this might be one
of those issues that you have.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
And this is the.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
Whole facet of the digital era that we're in. Right again,
you do like the whole blue light and all those things,
and how your serotonin is confused and conflicted, and how
dopamine is released whenever you're on like social media and
all those things. There's a science to that is really deep,
but just the very practical of it that there is
something that we're constantly doing, so our brains are constantly running.
(15:18):
We need to disconnect. We need to have times and
moments where I literally do nothing, like I sit and
an greed, or I sit and just stare at a
whole watch paint dry, do something that's taking you away
from this realm of just constant stimulation, and it's allowing
you to just be present with you. The reason that
(15:39):
that a lot of struggle to know ourselves, to really
have confidence in us, to really trust ourselves, is because
we never spend time alone. And a lot of people
are afraid to be alone because they're afraid of their thoughts.
They're afraid of that they're going to have to unpack
and work through and heal through things.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
And I get it.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
That's a very scary and frustrating thing to be in,
but you will never know who you are and be
able to grow. If you're constantly doing something, You're gonna
burn out. That's the only thing that's gonna happen. It's burnout.
At the end of the day, you will consistently be
and burnout because of that. So, yes, we'll continue on
with this mountain of not quitting on.
Speaker 2 (16:13):
Yourself and all these things.
Speaker 1 (16:15):
But before we even get to the rest of these,
just this reality that you need to have time that
you spend and dedicate to you to just say I'm away,
And honestly, even if you have to schedule it, because
I have to schedule everything in my life at this point,
put it in your schedule. If it's only a couple hours,
or you're gonna dedicate maybe a day, whatever it is,
(16:35):
put it in there. And even if again you're a
very busy person and a lot of things going on,
tell people, hey, from this time to this time, I'm
not existing to you. If it's an emergency, okay, whatever,
but I'm going to prioritize the time that I dedicate
to me because if I can't the airplane analogy, right,
if I can't put the mask on myself first, I'll
(16:56):
never be able to help anyone else. And you can't
spawn healthy or from a healthy position from a place
of burnout. So allowing yourself to do that. So you'll
stop quitting on yourself when you learn to have radical
accountability for yourself, like you'll stop giving up on you
when you are able to look at the things that
have happened and say that you're taking accountability for this.
(17:19):
You're saying that, yes, it doesn't mean that you have
all the problems. To be clear, it doesn't mean that
you have it all together.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
It doesn't mean.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
That you are your flawless and everything is just. It
just means that you're radically aware of what you need
to work on and improve and make efforts towards. Again,
I said, don't over saturate yourself with different things. But
there are things that should be goals to set for
you to heal, to grow, and you have to be accountable. Now,
this doesn't mean either that you're going to have it
all figured out right away. I know the areas I
(17:45):
need to improve, and I'm trying. I'm making efforts. I'm
accountable for the fact that I'm feeling certain things, but
I'm accountable for the change that I'm trying to make,
the change that will make. When you become accountable for
yourself and you become radically accountable, you don't hold yourself
behind the wall of the the fake image or the
facade that you're creating about you. You confront yourself. You say, hey,
(18:06):
this is not where I'm doing. It's not where i'm iproving,
it's not what I'm doing. It's not as good as.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
It can be. Let's change, let's work on this.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
Radical accountability just says that you take ownership over the thing.
It doesn't mean that you don't mess up right, It
doesn't mean that you don't have flaws and you don't
make mistakes. It's just you become radically accountable. You're aware
of what this thing is and you do what you
need to do to change it. And that even goes
deeper with even relationships with other people. Right, because sometimes
(18:33):
the reason that we could keep going back to certain
things and reverting to certain things is because we're not
accountable for our position of it. You might have been
hurt and they might have done things to you, but
you're still accountable for how you respond, or how you
let things, let things trigger you, or where you go to.
It becomes accountable for all these things. So we stop
putting on ourselves when we become radically accountable for ourselves,
(18:54):
when you look at you and say, no, this is
what's wrong, this is what needs to change, and this
is where I'm going to change it. Becoming untable does
not mean that you're perfect. It just means that you're
making strives and effort to change to be something more
and something different. We become more confident in ourselves when
we identify the things that trigger us, that we identify
(19:16):
the things that that we come to, the wall that
we face, this mountain that we face, and we look
at it and we say, well, I can't overcome that
because of X, Y and Z, because of what was
said to me, because of what was done to me,
because of where I was put. We will stop quitting
on us, We'll stop giving up on ourselves when we
stop identifying ourselves the things that have been done to us.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
With our past.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
This is one of the hardest roadblocks for a lot
of people. If there's people that will spend years in
therapy and help and all these things and try to
grow through these things, and then they won't. They won't
be able to conquer it because they haven't authentically faced
what that mountain looks like. Like, they haven't gone to
that and said, I'm going to be accountable.
Speaker 2 (19:55):
I'm gonna look at this and say.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
That I keep giving this power and keep letting that
things stop me from living the dream that I want
to live. I want to be clear, just because you
want to do something doesn't mean that it's the thing
that's perfectly for you. Like like I would want to
play basketball. Could I play in the NBA? Probably not?
To be honest, I'm not that's all. I'm okay, But
(20:20):
I'm not tall enough to be in the NBA. Now
that this is one of those things that I have
to talk about practicalities and quitting on yourself doesn't mean
living in impractical dreams. And we'll talk a little bit
more about that after these real quick commercial breaks. So
what I mean by that, right that we're living in
impracticabilities in practical things. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't
(20:43):
have a dream, but it means is that dream practical
with things that I can do and the things that
are at my disposal. You can work as hard as
hard as you want. Right, I can practice every single
day and I can shoot a three point in every
single moment.
Speaker 2 (20:59):
I might be the best coach ever.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
But the reality is that I probably right now wouldn't
make it right, wouldn't make it into.
Speaker 2 (21:06):
Something like that. So is it practical? Is the thing
that you are in actually practical? Now? Does it mean
that you stop doing the.
Speaker 1 (21:15):
Things that you love just because you're not going to
become super successful in it? No, because there's a difference
between growing in something and again, So let's let's take
that thing. We're taking basketball, what you're working on your dream,
and now what you keep get quitting on, make that
your thing. I'll just use basketball as an example here.
But I might not be in the NBA right that
(21:36):
might be the thing that I joined into that I
get into. But I can be a great coach in
certain aspects. I can be a great content creator in
certain aspect. I can love and know something so deeply
that I can be one of the greatest commentators of it.
It doesn't mean because you didn't hit the goal the
way you thought that you were going to hit that.
Speaker 2 (21:52):
You need to quit.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
There are things that are adjacent to it because you
failed so many times you became a master of it
that you can see the thing from actives that most
people can't see. But a lot of people think that
they need to hit a home run in the place
that they want to be. They want to be an
amazing star singer or whatever. But you don't have the
chops for that particular thing. But you can learn how
(22:15):
to navigate around those things. It might not be the
thing directly. You don't have to quit the dream. It
just sometimes means that we need to navigate the dream differently.
And I say this not to be mean or not
to discourage and anything, but sometimes we fail to have
people in our lives that tell us, look, you're good
at this, but it might be a hindrance for you
(22:36):
to try to be something that's unrealistic. Now I don't
believe that anything is unrealistic. So this is the hard
part because there is there has to be this level
of insane work and insane growth and everything is possible,
but is it probable?
Speaker 2 (22:52):
That possible and probable are two different things.
Speaker 1 (22:54):
It's possible, of course, because you're doing the work you
put in the time, but is it probable that you'll
be in a position like that. Now basketball, obviously that's
an extreme because there's not just height, there's time, there's datings,
all those things that are going to go into that.
But certain aspects of our lives we won't be able
to Again. When you're singing, maybe I'm not the greatest
singer I sing, and people leave for.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
The wrong reasons.
Speaker 1 (23:16):
Right, The fact is that I can take voice lessons
and I can improve and I could become okay, but
it doesn't mean that I would. That is not probable
that I would be a superstar from that thing. So
it's taken in this thing that I'm in and realizing
that maybe the way I want to be in it
isn't the way I should be in it. Right, that
I might not have the gifting or the talent that
(23:38):
was naturally needed for that particular thing because it's so
unique that I need to see it from a different perspective. Now,
what happens is a lot of people quit themselves. They
would see that they can't make it as as a
basketball players, that they can't start for the knicks or
the nets, and they'll make that thing and they'll say,
well I can't start and I can't get in this team, so.
Speaker 2 (23:57):
I quit everything period.
Speaker 1 (23:59):
Why would you quit something that you love, Like, why
would you quit the thing that drives you to do
the best you can? Why would you quit where you're
great at knowing and loving being that just because you
can't have one particular aspect of it. I'm not saying
that we need to limit our dreams. I am saying
that we need to read define what's probable.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Practical, and possible.
Speaker 1 (24:22):
We need to look at what we do and what
we create and live within those things because the reality
is that there are some things in our lives that
we're confined to. Like I can't change my hype, I
can't change my age. I can't change those things. But
I could work really hard at growing in the things
that are timeless, the things that don't require me to
(24:42):
look a certain way, and staying there and actually creating that.
This is where our big big takeaway here is is
how do you speak to yourself in this?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Like?
Speaker 1 (24:52):
How do you talk to yourself about the things because
a lot of us are so negative, Like we are
our own biggest enemy. You're supposed to be your biggest dream,
yet you end up being your biggest critic. You end
up being your biggest enemy. You end up being the
reason why you don't live and the thing you want
to live in because you talk worse to you than
other people. Do you limit your possibility capability and just
(25:13):
chance to make this thing happen because you don't speak
to yourself very nicely, and just think about it. My plants,
there's actually an experiment that was done by Akia out
of all places, and what they did is that they
brought a bunch of kids to the school from the school,
and what they did is they brought them to Ikea
and they had two plants. They had two sets of
plants in different rooms, and one plant they had a
(25:34):
loop playing over and over again that was speaking positively
to the plant, that was affirmative or giving positive words,
telling you how good it was, how productive, how beautiful
green it was. And then the other room was another
plant in which had loops of negative words, so destroying
and diminishing the plant and talking negative to it. And
these kids were able to see the difference between these things.
It's a video you could YouTube bit watch it later.
(25:56):
What happened is that the plant that was spoken to
with profound affirmation and positive words, flourished, it grew. They
were fed the same thing. They were the same kind
of plant, they were given the same amount of water,
same everything. There was no difference in any of the rooms,
even sunlight, except the words that it heard on repeating
the things that were said to it. For a lot
of us, we will become the things that we hear.
(26:17):
So if we speak negatively to us, we will become
those negative things, and we attack ourselves often we will
be that thing that attacks us. If you speak positively,
if you speak growth in you. And this is not
like some like hudo mumble jumbo stuff like this is
real practical thing because your brain, the way it works,
the neuroplasticity in your brain literally changes and is malleable to.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
The things that you say or do.
Speaker 1 (26:39):
It's how you speak to you that will change what.
Speaker 2 (26:42):
You do next. How you actually affirm who you are
and grow.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Into that that's going to completely alter.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
What you do next.
Speaker 1 (26:49):
And the way that you will grow is by speaking
positive to you. The problem is that a lot of
us we fall into this rut of believing that we
can't because somebody else, that we couldn't believe the negative
things of ourselves because it's so much easier to believe
the lie than it is to believe the truth. We
fall into this lie that we never will so we
believe on it. We believe it, We quit on ourselves
(27:10):
because of that. You will never be who you are
meant to be if you keep pretending to be less
than that, like you will never be the full version
of you if you keep allowing the lies to be
so loud. And I get it. I'm not saying it's easy.
I'm not saying that this doesn't come at an expense
(27:30):
and a cost and a change. But we have to
continue to grow in us, continue to speak positively, continue
to let ourselves be who we actually are, because that's
what's that's the game changer.
Speaker 2 (27:46):
That's the difference.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
You'll stop quitting on yourself when you start speaking into yourself.
You'll stop quitting on yourself when you believe that you can, you.
Speaker 2 (27:54):
Will, you must.
Speaker 1 (27:55):
And that's a phrase I've been living my life by.
I can, I will, I'm us because what I need
to do has to happen because I know I'm capable
and I can do it, and I will do it
because I have that ability, and I must do it
because everything else I believe comes to that point. But
you will give up on yourself consistently if you keep
speaking to yourself in the ways.
Speaker 2 (28:14):
That limit you.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
You'll look at the mountain and you'll say, I'm never
gonna be able to conquer this thing because this thing
is so profound and so deep, and I'm this, and
that you are your own biggest enemy when you need
to be your own biggest cheerleader. You gotta stop giving
into that. There's enough people in this world that are
gonna hate on you, there's enough people in this world
they are gonna talk about you. There's enough people that
are gonna have all these negative things to say about you.
(28:36):
Make sure that you're not one of them. Make sure
that you're not joining in at the meaning and the
destroying of your character and of.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Your weight and of who you are.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
Because you think that you're not capable.
Speaker 2 (28:45):
You are more than capable. And I'm not just saying that,
because our reality is the realistens this.
Speaker 1 (28:50):
I probably don't even know who you are, but I
do know what's in it each and every one of us.
What we have capable in the depths of our hearts.
You have the ability to make mountains move. You have
the ability to change your world simply because you refuse
to quit. You might not change the whole world, but
you'll change the world around you because you were persistently
who you were called to be. But if you give up,
(29:12):
then that's it. You can't say that you live the
life that you were meant to live in this world
when you kept quitting. So when we look at this
mountain that helps us to stop quitting, we need to
realize that the only way things will change is that
we're open to it and we do the work to change.
Thank you so much for being on this episode. Thank
you for listening, and I'm just glad you're here. And
(29:33):
if you listened all the way through. First of all,
thank you. I mean, first of all, you're helping the numbers,
which is awesome, but even bigger that means this is
an impact happening. So thank you for that, thank you
for your support, thank you for being president. Thank you
for listening. Or we're watching wherever you are and we'll
check you on the next one.
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