October 23, 2025 • 30 mins
Most of us aren’t tired we’re drained. Not because we’re doing too much, but because we’ve stopped protecting our peace.
In this episode, Joshua Rosa breaks down five boundaries that can change your life, grounded in data, faith, and lived experience. From protecting your sleep to reclaiming your focus and limiting emotional drainers, these aren’t vague ideas they’re actionable systems for mental health, productivity, and peace of mind.
You’ll learn how to:
✅ Set boundaries without guilt or apology
✅ Spot manipulative boundary-pushers
✅ Strengthen weak spots in your relationships and routines
✅ Replace burnout with intentional living
✅ Rebuild your self-respect through consistent choices
Because here’s the truth: people will only treat you as well as you teach them to.
This episode walks you through a one-week activation plan to implement all five boundaries and feel more grounded, rested, and powerful in just seven days.
“They won’t respect you if you don’t respect your boundaries. We teach people what’s okay based on what we allow.”
If you’ve been overexplaining, overgiving, or overcommitting — this episode will show you how to finally stop.
🎧 Listen to Made For This Mountain for more weekly conversations on healing, identity, and purpose — available wherever you stream podcasts.
📍 Follow Joshua:
- Instagram: @_joshuarosa
- TikTok: @_joshuarosa
- YouTube: @MadeForThisMountain
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
One thing we need to be clear with is not
confusing boundaries and borders. Like a boundary is going to
keep you safe, a boundary is going to see the
things around you and it's going to say this thing
is in alignment with other things. It doesn't serve for me,
it doesn't help me, it's actually gonna take for me.
A border stops anything from coming at all. You end
up creating this to sell you them, creating a jail
because you thought that you were protecting yourself and at
(00:21):
the end of the day, you're only hurting yourself. Knowing
the difference between what's a border and what's a boundary
is going to make us actually be able to have
the best possible life because when we have boundaries, we're
able to tell things that we see patterns or receive
routines or things that are repeated. We're able to tell those
things that it's not allowed here. But when we create
(00:42):
a border, you don't allow anything, and you don't allow
yourself to actually live in the things you need. So
when we're looking at boundaries, we need to be sure
that these things are healthy, fruitful, and good, that these
boundaries are for our benefit and not for anyone else's use.
That's what a real boundary is made for this mountain
with Josh Rosa or turning pain into purpose. So think
(01:04):
you're being a part of this episode. And as we
look at this mountain of boundaries and borders and these
principles that really help us change those things, I need
you to understand one thing. And I feel like I
say that often, but I want to just make those
clarifying things that we can hear as much as we want.
We can read as many books as we want, we
can go to many conferences or retreats or spiritually guided things.
(01:26):
We can do all these things, but none of this matters.
No amount of knowledge ever matters without it being applied.
Like if you are doing these things, obviously the first
step obviously listen to a podcast about growth and becoming
a better person. That means that there's something in you
that you want to be better at, or or just
generally fan the flame of the things, or maybe you're
just so such a great person and you support me,
(01:47):
or you know that's awesome, thank you for being here. Period.
But we can know all the things in the world
we want, but no amount of information meanings nothing without
any action, like if we don't do anything about it,
And there has to be things that we're very declarative
on it. Everythings that we make different in our lives
because we actually step into and do these things. And
(02:11):
I want to be firm on that this year. That's
my personal goal. Right as I grow and as I
challenge myself and push further, these are things that I
want to make actionable. And today we're gonna kind of
give some actionable things, like this episode is geared towards
these boundaries. But I actually want to do things, and
you know what's funny, I'm gonna do it with you
like this. So I say this a lot often too.
(02:31):
I feel like this shouldn't go overmiss or not. I
don't just say these things to say them. I live
these things. I'm trying to improve in certain things. I'm
growing in certain places, and there's no one that is perfect.
But I do think that the way that we become
the best versions of ourselves is by pushing into those things.
It's by pushing the things that we're comfortable with, is
(02:52):
by pushing into the things that we're afraid of. It's
by pushing into these places where we just don't change
or don't move to create something that does change something new,
And in this episode to Hichwars the end of the episode,
at least we're gonna give some actionable things to challenge.
So again, thank you for being here, thank you for
joining me on me for podcast the usual stuff. Right,
(03:12):
if you can make sure those downloads are turn on
and you can share this episode, especially this one, especially
if you want to challenge someone else with it and
the five stars and all that wonderful stuff that people
need to be able to continue to do this. I
feel like I never want to say those things, but
I'm saying them just to say them. So we are
just looking at this reality where there's things that we
can do, Like there are tangible, actionable things in our
(03:35):
life that we can do and take that it's gonna
make us significantly better. It's going to make you a
better person overall. And this never should come at the
behest of like responding to something else, responding to something
that was said to you or something that was done
to you or a person in your life. I guess
those might seem like really useful things to grow and
(03:57):
to make those catalysts, but this should never be the
reason why you do any thing. The reason that you
should respond is because if your healed, this because you're healing,
you're growing, and you're choosing to be better, not because
you want to get back to someone or make them
regret or mishon or anything. I mean, are those byproducts, sure,
but that shouldn't be the antithesis of what you do here. Right,
(04:17):
This shouldn't be the main point of the reason that
you do this thing. It should always be because you
want to improve. It should always because you want to grow.
And that's that's our premace today. These boundaries, that these
borders boundaries rather than have borders that help us just
be better. But the reality is that most people will
(04:38):
only respect us as far as we respect ourselves, So
they won't respect you if you don't respect your boundaries.
Truth is, we teach people how to tat to treat us.
We teach them what it's okay, what it's not okay,
it's okay to repeat, what's not okay to repeat by
our actions, and when our boundaries are firm, those people
who want to bothery those boundaries. When you're affirming that thing,
(05:02):
you teach them that that's not okay and What happens
often is that sometimes we'll have that boundary and people
will look at us and they'll say, well, oh, this
and that and the theory will remind us of something.
They'll say something, and what happens is that we lower
that boundary so they know that now they have access
to us do those things, that if we say something
and we don't mean it, that it's going to be
(05:23):
easy for them to manibuild us out of it. The
reason I mentioned that is because a lot of people
struggle with boundaries with other people, whether it's romantic partners
or family members. We tend to do this thing where
we allow certain people certain power over us, and we say, well,
I'm going to be firm in this boundary and this
is where I'm not changing and not moving, except you
make the exception to this person, and you make this
(05:45):
the thing that you'll allow to happen. So it means
nothing to note his if you're going to be too
afraid to step into it. I'm not encouraging them not
to listen, not to grow, and not to learn, but
I am challenging that that part the limiting belief that
you think that you can't do this, or you can't
be firm with these people because of something they've had
over your life, some experience that they've had over you.
(06:08):
The reality is that you don't deserve to continue in
those states. You deserve the fullness of the power that
you've already been given. So knowing this, knowing that there's
just going to be respect or lack thereof based on
how firm you are on this boundary, the ball is
now in your court. Are you going to actually be
firm on this you can actually be real with what
(06:28):
you're saying, or are you going to go against this thing?
And it's easy again to fall into old habits because
we've given emotional control to these people, but they will
respect the boundary that you're firm on. It might not
feel like it at first, but it will be the
fullness of what you need. And at the end of
the day, the only person that has that power to
(06:50):
choose that's going to be you. And we need to
be firm on all these boundaries that we talk about
before we dive into anything else. They need to be
actionable before there are anything that we think that's going
to actually change outside of it. And we'll talk a
little bit more about that after this real quick commercial break.
So this season in my life, I'm trusting how people
(07:12):
make me feel the first time like, I'm not trying
to justify their emotions or why they did or what
they did. I'm not trying to find a reason to
give them vindication for their actions. We need to take
into consideration that we are living life too, and these
people that did these things to you or said these
things you made you feel that way, didn't take death
for regard at all. They didn't care. And we tend
(07:34):
to try to justify their emotions or their mistakes based
on their life. We tend to say that, well, they
went through X, Y and Z, so this is why
they treated me this way. All you're doing is giving
them an excuse. All you're doing is letting them off
the hook based on the thing they did and not
realizing that what you're doing to yourself is causing yourself
the struggle in the pain, and you have to be
the one that impacts for them, and they will continue
(07:55):
to do the things that they've done. I'm okay with
not having people in my life who do not feel
that it's okay to value and love me. That it's
not okay to care about my emotions. I'm not justifying
their crappy actions just to keep them around. And this
is the difference with our boundaries. When we begin to
be firm on these boundaries, that they change our lives
(08:17):
completely because it allows us to be just honest on
what we deserve and how much we could become better.
And when we focus on these boundaries, I want them
to be inward. They're focused towards us, not towards things
that people say or do or any of that nature.
Their boundaries that we need to set with us. And
this is why I'm saying I want to do I'm
(08:38):
gonna do the little challenge I'm gonna get at the
end of this. I'm doing that with you because I
think it's important for us to first define boundaries within
ourselves and then outwards. And that's how we build. Right.
You don't build a house from the roof down right,
you build it from a firm foundation up. You grow
from these things. So when we talk about these boundaries,
(09:00):
maybe some of these things are things that you're already
do in your life. Like when I'm talking about like
literal actionable things, I'm talking about literal actionable things. Some
of these things might be things you're already to do
in your life or or have a version of. And
I just want to connect these together because what this does,
it is going to help us physically, spiritually, emotionally, and
in every aspect that there's a challenge within every premise
(09:21):
of those things. Right, everything that you are if you
do not know this, you are physical, you're spiritual, and
you're emotional. These are all things that you need to
serve and care for if you want to live a
purposeful life. But before I dive into these steps, right,
the actionable things, I do want to just take a
little bit in that reality that there are boundaries that
(09:42):
we have allowed people to continue to pass over. And
this is probably happening now, and there might be situations
in your life where there's certain people that you do
not like the way they speak to you, or the
way they treat you, or what they do, and you
feel like it's gone way too far. I want to
just make this clear. It is never too late or
(10:03):
too early or too long time to start declaring boundaries
Like tomorrow, today, this very day, you could make those
boundaries clear. If they were used to getting away with
certain things, today could the day you say, you know
what we're done. But again, it doesn't matter that you
want this. And I don't want that to sound mean,
because what you want matters, But what I mean is
(10:26):
that it doesn't matter that you want this if you're
not willing to do what you need to keep. It
doesn't matter that you desire that. If you're not willing
to step into the thing, it doesn't matter that you
want that thing. If you're not willing to be mean
to them, to be good to yourself, and you don't
have to be a jerk to people, but you do
have to learn to love you more, love you enough
that you don't allow them to continue to make you
(10:47):
love you less, you'll allow them to rob you of that.
I think one of the hardest things that we've ever
seeing in this world, one of the hardest things we
do see in this world are people who have so
much to give and so much to love, but they
have been stuck in things with people that have been
taking that they have convinced themselves that if they stay longer,
if they do more, that eventually they'll get to that
(11:08):
person and they'll be able to help them and change
them and fix them. And you cannot fix any It
is hard to fix yourself. This is why we're talking
about borders and boundaries and changing in ourselves before anyone else,
because it is so hard to fix yourself. It is
really difficult to change your life. To change your mind,
you have to change certain patterns and habits and routines
and make those things different for you to be the
(11:29):
person you want to be. What makes you think that
you are going to convince somebody to change their own mind,
to change the things that they need to do. We
break our own hearts thinking that we can change anyone else,
and they don't respect us and our boundaries because we
(11:50):
left them. We left them where they were in that
open door to continue to do and go and come
and return as they please, declared that boundary. I'm not
saying it's not gonna hurt, because if something that's improving happens,
it's gonna hurt. I always I tell the story of
my tory labor right my arm, the therapy that I
(12:12):
had to go through. It was pain. It's pain to
go through something that's going to be better for you.
But the problem is that you're living with the pain
right now instead of going through the pain that's going
to make you feel better later, because it's easy to
stay in this hurt. So before we talk about the
tangible things, I do think that we need that check
(12:32):
that there are certain things in our lives that we're
letting people get away with because we want to justify
the place that they have in our lives, Like we
allow them to treat us poorly and say things to
us and make us feel some type of way, or
ignore us or keep us to the side until we're convenient,
because we think that a more simple of them is
better than none of them. We think that getting a
little bit is enough to keep you there. But the
(12:53):
problem was with that, with getting the little breadcrumbs is
that it satisfies for the moment, but it keeps you hunger.
And this is a tactic that's easily manipulated because if
I can keep you hungry enough that you keep returning,
but I give you just enough to keep you close
in the door so that you don't leave, then I'm
able to control where you are. I'm able to manipulate
(13:13):
your emotions and your feelings and control that false reality
that you think something might be fixed, or might happen,
or might grow from this and if I can control
that in you, I can control you, You'll never leave.
We need to be firm on those boundaries, not because
we don't love them, but because we've learned to love ourselves,
(13:35):
because we'll stop letting them rob us of that. And
I think that's something that so many people go through.
I mean, I know it is because of all the
conversations I've had, but I feel like we've all experienced
these things, like we've all been in situations or relationships
or schooling or work, even work environments or even family
members were we tried so hard, Like you showed up
(13:58):
and you tried your best and gave everything you had,
and you were clearly the best option for this thing,
the best choice to pick the best decision to make,
but you were still passed over. And it's not that
you didn't have worth or didn't have value, but you
gave so much into this thing that now you're sitting
empty because it never poured back into you. There's a
(14:20):
point where we start to clearing boundaries that help us
understand that if we're not reciprocal, if it's not mutual,
it's not good, then it's not worth it. And you
cut it there, And this is the most important thing
you have learned is to notice patterns. Like people can
say whatever they want. They can tell you what they feel,
what they think, or they can tell you what they
want you to think or feel. They can make them
(14:42):
manipulate that, but they will never be able to change
the patterns because the patterns are coinciding with their habits
and what the true desires are. When you're looking at
something they're saying to you, it's easy to say nice words.
Anyone can say nice things, but what are they doing,
Like are the patterns actually matching the desire. They can
tell you that they want something with you, or from you,
or in you, but are they doing the things that
(15:05):
make you feel that way? Are they just stringing you
along enough for you to think that one day it
might happen. The reality is that patterns will never lie.
They will show you what the people are not dealing with,
the person is not doing or saying, and actually point
out the reality of what this is. We need to
learn that patterns are our best friends. That they will
(15:26):
tell us more by showing us than the words that
they're actually saying. That they will show you what they want,
even if what they're saying doesn't match. These are borders,
well not borders, these are boundaries that we need. Borders
again keep us in, boundaries, keep bad things out and
(15:49):
allows you to move. So we're going to talk about
some tangible boundaries that are supposed to be a challenge.
This episode really is about this mountain of these boundaries
that we face, but it's challenging those things. And we're
gonna start with the first one. And this first one,
I feel like it's super important, and I'm telling you
that I'm already failing at this, but starting today is
(16:11):
where we're going to change this. We live in a
world that is very overstimulated. It's very We're doing a
thousand things and we're limited amount of sleep. And one
of the most helpful things that you will ever do
is sleep. And obviously I'm struggling at that, not just
(16:31):
I was actually sick a couple of days ago, so
I was really struggling with that, just in that aspect,
but in general, I feel like I don't give that
a priority. So this is why, like I'm saying, like
these are really good, really good, challenging questions and boundaries
for us to set up right and I think it's important.
So our first one is a hard sleep protection boundary.
The role for this first one, and we'll kind of
(16:53):
dive into individually tage ones. It's no phone, no laptop,
no TV. Sixties to ninety minutes before bed, you part
the phone outside of your room. Like for me, my
phone is my alarm. So what I plan on doing
is I'm putting at the farthest table possible in my
room where I can't reach. Why I have to physically
get out of bed to get the phone. That's always
(17:14):
gonna help in a great way with like the alarm itself,
but it the reason this works is the evening evening,
Like we're at a blue light, right, And what happens
is that it suppresses your melatonin, It shifts your your
h it shifts your internal clock, and then the retra
sleep cycle, so you're you're usually more tired trying to
(17:34):
play catch up. It's a circadian rhythm rhythm that's what's
mess up in your sleep cycle specifically, but it controls
the control. Studies say that light emission screens before bed
delay sleep and reduce next morning performance. So the next
day you're significantly worse because you didn't happen. The philosophy
behind this is the guard the gate. So your sleep
(17:58):
is a priority. Your sleep should be this proponent that
helps us, and actually most scientifics that he shows too
where sleep indicates longevity of life and quality of life.
So the more sleep that you get, the better life
you have. Even the physical component, there's a cortisol hormones
in your body, right that are elevated during stress, or
(18:19):
hormones that are elevated during certain parts of of And
the reason that happens is because you have lack of sleep.
So that when you do finally get to sleep and
you do get your normal schedule back in, when that
those store hormones store and this happens in a lot
of other situations, but here particularly, they actually store your
body as fat. So the reason that most people who
do what you well in the gym get very good
(18:40):
sleep is that. Now this is the hard part, right,
figuring out a balance because life is so busy. Life
is a tough thing. So this is why I'll give
the specific timeframe for this little challenge that we're doing here,
But I'm challenging you to this because even if it's
for a few days, right, that we do this, it
(19:00):
changes the quality of life that we have. And there's
something that happens when you see something positive happening that
in your mind you see the shift. So now you
want to continue the shift. So even if we do
it for a small amount of time, it should be
enough for you to see the possibility. So our first
(19:21):
boundary there is sleep. Getting full sleep, so sixty to
ninety minutes before bed, no phone, know anything. If you
want to read, read, that's probably the best thing you
could ever do. But limiting the amount of light that
you take in, limiting the things you're doing, allowing yourself
the fullness to just rest. And for some people it
(19:43):
takes longer fall asleep. So that's perfect because now you're
doing nothing but allowing yourself to sleep. And we'll talk
about the next four boundaries after this quick commercial break.
So these next boundaries on our number two is actually
one of my favorite. I actually do this already and
I think it's why I'm so productive. I'm not always productive,
but when I am, when I do these things, I
(20:04):
become very productive. And it's our single task work block.
So our boundary here is interruption, and what we're doing
in our rule right, we're taking two daily ninety minute
focused blocks. Do not disturb on emails, dms, nothing, you're
not checking anything. You can do this up to you
write whatever works in your schedule. So depending on which
(20:26):
day of the week for me, I'm gonna start doing these.
Later on, I'm gonna wake up very early, so it's
one of my goals too. But later on during the night,
right or during the evening, I'll have a block in
which I will this is where I'll do everything. I'll
respond to my emails, I'll write a script out, edit videos,
i will do whatever it needs to do. What happens
here will this actually motivates in us is intentional time.
(20:49):
We're desiring to do things intentionally. So what happens is
when you create these blocks, you have nothing else but that.
And yes, it's easily to be distracted, sure, especially in
the beginning. Yes, but if you're intentional about this, you
allow yourself the space to just create and respond and
do things within that timeframe. And your brain is telling you, oh,
time is running out, so we need to get this
(21:10):
done a sep. We need to get these things moving.
Our focus here is attention, in attention to your life
it's to do things on purpose. And there's like a
deep philosophical proponent to this, but just looking at the
very surface of it, that you're doing things intentionally where
you are. So interruptions make people work faster, but with
(21:31):
more stress, frustration, and time pressure. It's a cognitive quality
doesn't improve. Removing interruptions protects the accuracy and lowers the strains.
So this is actually from a study. This is where
by the way, all these things are backed by other
studies that I found. So it helps us understand that
this time frame has to be the block that things
are done. It helps us create that actual progression within
(21:55):
that time frame. So if it's limited to those ninety
minutes or whatever that is for you, if it's only
one or two blocks dur the day, I think we
get more done in the smallest time frame than we
would in otherwise. So our third one is the movement minimums.
And this is one of those health boundaries. And this
is actually one of those things that people already do.
I feel like the ten thousand step things, all those things,
whatever that looks like for you, it's an hour of
(22:17):
just something physical and whatever that that movement might be
is just walking or running or whatever that is. It
allows us the space to take care of that other
physical component of us. But that's one of the most
important things ever too, because like sleep or sleep is
help great for health, but it's also help healthy and
good for our emotional states because if we move, we
(22:38):
actually produce hormones that create joy in us, that actually
make us happy. For a lot of people, they are
miserable because there is no movement in their life, not
just you know, not just like going for walks or
stuff like that, but there's nothing that's challenging them enough
to step into that next thing. So this boundary is
a health boundary. We need to create space where we're
(23:01):
doing things that are going to challenge us. Obviously they
don't have to be super difficult, but enough we're challenging
you to move and to grow in that health space
to be able to produce something more. A fourth one here,
and this one might be I'm a prefaces. This one
might be a little bit tougher for some of us
because it ties into certain things that we've already dealt with.
(23:21):
It's okay to trust people like okay, we're going to
rephrase it. It's good and useful to have people in your
life that you know you can trust. And I know
that this is a hard one because we don't have
that with a lot of people. We don't have that
with many people that we feel that are trustworthy, and
then we can come to with our problems and whatever
it is. I'm not saying with this next boundary that
(23:42):
you have to be, you know, crying and super vulnerable,
but definitely find something with someone that you're able to
just not just speak to yourself about. Because what happens
is that sometimes we know the answers to the things
that we're trying to solve. We know we know the outcome,
we know how we can work and how it could be,
(24:03):
but we are not vocal with it with anyone else,
so we never actually work through it. Like this is
why a lot of people speak out loud when like
literally physically speak out loud when they're solving an issue
in their life, because sometimes saying the thing helps you
put things into perspective. But there's something beautiful that happens
when we have physical connections with people, and naturally science
(24:24):
backs is up in this too that there is a
almost like a happier response or more of a cognitive
response to the things that's happening when you are able
to do it or work through way or grow with
it with another person. So again, I don't know your situation.
I don't know if you have people that you are
comfortable with or people that you know that you're close to.
(24:46):
But if you're a faith based maybe going to a
clergy person, right or something like that, or believe it
or not. This is going to sound crazy, and I'm
not saying to do this, but just an idea. I
have seen the person. Well I say one person because
I haven't anyone else to do it. But I ask the
person that would go to random people, like literally a
(25:06):
random person in the street and have a conversation about
this about like their issues things are struggling with and
would literally ask random people for advice. Now, there's something
cool about that, And I feel like that's something cool
if you did like like a social media type of
thing right where you would go to people and say, hey,
this is the problem, what's your advice. Maybe we should
do like a series like that whatever, We'll come back
(25:26):
to that. But having a connection with the person, why,
because there's something just meaningful about that relationship. So this
boundary again is not limited to that. I mean, you're
welcome to do however, but if you have someone or
people right, so protect protect a small inner circle to
schedule too high quality touch in, touch in or conversations.
(25:50):
They can be called it's a call, could be coffee,
you could be prayers, it could be checking with with
people who are good for you. But then the same
boundary also limit chaotic people. So limit people that are
causing stress or stress in your life or issues, limit
the connections you have for them, especially in this timeframe.
You're gonna look for people who are healthy or good
(26:12):
conversations and limit the opposite, right, because the whole goal
with this boundary is being able to still have relationship
and connection, but understanding that you also have the power
to tell people that I don't really want to talk
to you, like I really don't want you in my life,
so be intentional about it. Here I wrote two intentional touches.
(26:33):
I don't know if that's easy for everybody or practical
for everybody, And two intentional people that you speak to
maybe during the week or a day here or day there,
or whatever it is that might not be easy for
everybody that might be difficult, that might not be something
that we have access to, but at the very minimum,
so we'll actually lower this. We'll make this at least one. Right,
So for the time frame that we're doing the challenge,
(26:54):
which I believe where it's being closer, I think it's
only a week, but we'll see that in a minute, right.
And our last one news is social diet, And this
is so important. We're living in this world where there's
like a thousand things happening and we don't know what's
real and what's not real. Like, let's be honest, there's
a lot of things that are either mispurported or underreported,
(27:17):
Like we've seen terrible situations and like immigration and all
these things that are just doesn't make sense to treat
people the way that people being treated. We're seeing. We're
seeing so many things that have just an influx of issues.
So I'm not saying you shouldn't be informed and you
shouldn't know, but I am saying that you shouldn't overstimulate,
(27:38):
you shouldn't overtaken information, you shouldn't overtake these things, and
you should probably limit the amount of conversations you have
with other people. Based on these things. So for this timeframe,
which again I think it's like a week that we're
doing this, we're gonna cap news and socials to twenty
minutes once or twice a day, so that's our limit
(27:59):
for the day. Are going to take the use in,
you know, take it for twenty minutes of the day,
and that's it. We're not taking anything more. We're not
we're not arguing about it, we're not having conversations with
people about it. Because what happens is that we now
we become a part of it. We're adding ourselves to
the mess and the mix of the problem, and your
(28:19):
brain will stay just stimulating all these things that are
happening because there's so many things they're happening. I'm not
saying you shouldn't be informed, that you shouldn't know. I
am saying that you shouldn't be overly obsessed and overly
indulgent in things that probably shouldn't have as much power
as they do. For some people, we might need apps,
right timers. Let's say relater c longs the our metric
(28:43):
you're screen time reporting, so you can use your phone, though,
will tell you what you're spending most of your time
on which is another thing. Right, we should cap your
phone in there, but that's a boundary we didn't add.
So what does this looks like? So our one week
plan if we're doing this challenge, because take a week
just again just to give ourselves this not power, but
(29:06):
this ability. And what we want here is to do
these things effectively so that they help us grow. They
create the boundary in us. And the whole purpose again
is that I'm able to challenge myself to do this
and then slowly grow away from it, and it ultimately
it allows us to build boundaries with other people. So
I refuse to engage with people who are committed to
proving me wrong and not improving in anything. It's pointless
(29:30):
to try and change in the mind of people who
have committed themselves to seeing you as a villain. As
we look at those boundaries and grow with that, we
need to understand that that's where that's going to lead. Ultimately,
that you don't feel this extra need and extra push
to convince other people of you, if you don't feel
like you need to change anything in you to please them,
(29:51):
and we would create boundaries in ourselves. It allows us
to have boundaries with them, because if I can master
that in me, then I know that I'm not going
to allow other people to continue to push. So thank
you for listening, thanks for being on this episode, and
the whole goal here again is just to make better us.
So what of the mountain looks like for you? Hopefully
these boundaries within you help you expose their weakness and
(30:14):
growth through it. So good old if you don't mind
giving those five stars and downloading the episodes, which would
really really help. Thank you for listening, and we'll see
you on the next one.
One thing we need to be clear with is not
confusing boundaries and borders. Like a boundary is going to
keep you safe, a boundary is going to see the
things around you and it's going to say this thing
is in alignment with other things. It doesn't serve for me,
it doesn't help me, it's actually gonna take for me.
A border stops anything from coming at all. You end
up creating this to sell you them, creating a jail
because you thought that you were protecting yourself and at
(00:21):
the end of the day, you're only hurting yourself. Knowing
the difference between what's a border and what's a boundary
is going to make us actually be able to have
the best possible life because when we have boundaries, we're
able to tell things that we see patterns or receive
routines or things that are repeated. We're able to tell those
things that it's not allowed here. But when we create
(00:42):
a border, you don't allow anything, and you don't allow
yourself to actually live in the things you need. So
when we're looking at boundaries, we need to be sure
that these things are healthy, fruitful, and good, that these
boundaries are for our benefit and not for anyone else's use.
That's what a real boundary is made for this mountain
with Josh Rosa or turning pain into purpose. So think
(01:04):
you're being a part of this episode. And as we
look at this mountain of boundaries and borders and these
principles that really help us change those things, I need
you to understand one thing. And I feel like I
say that often, but I want to just make those
clarifying things that we can hear as much as we want.
We can read as many books as we want, we
can go to many conferences or retreats or spiritually guided things.
(01:26):
We can do all these things, but none of this matters.
No amount of knowledge ever matters without it being applied.
Like if you are doing these things, obviously the first
step obviously listen to a podcast about growth and becoming
a better person. That means that there's something in you
that you want to be better at, or or just
generally fan the flame of the things, or maybe you're
just so such a great person and you support me,
(01:47):
or you know that's awesome, thank you for being here. Period.
But we can know all the things in the world
we want, but no amount of information meanings nothing without
any action, like if we don't do anything about it,
And there has to be things that we're very declarative
on it. Everythings that we make different in our lives
because we actually step into and do these things. And
(02:11):
I want to be firm on that this year. That's
my personal goal. Right as I grow and as I
challenge myself and push further, these are things that I
want to make actionable. And today we're gonna kind of
give some actionable things, like this episode is geared towards
these boundaries. But I actually want to do things, and
you know what's funny, I'm gonna do it with you
like this. So I say this a lot often too.
(02:31):
I feel like this shouldn't go overmiss or not. I
don't just say these things to say them. I live
these things. I'm trying to improve in certain things. I'm
growing in certain places, and there's no one that is perfect.
But I do think that the way that we become
the best versions of ourselves is by pushing into those things.
It's by pushing the things that we're comfortable with, is
(02:52):
by pushing into the things that we're afraid of. It's
by pushing into these places where we just don't change
or don't move to create something that does change something new,
And in this episode to Hichwars the end of the episode,
at least we're gonna give some actionable things to challenge.
So again, thank you for being here, thank you for
joining me on me for podcast the usual stuff. Right,
(03:12):
if you can make sure those downloads are turn on
and you can share this episode, especially this one, especially
if you want to challenge someone else with it and
the five stars and all that wonderful stuff that people
need to be able to continue to do this. I
feel like I never want to say those things, but
I'm saying them just to say them. So we are
just looking at this reality where there's things that we
can do, Like there are tangible, actionable things in our
(03:35):
life that we can do and take that it's gonna
make us significantly better. It's going to make you a
better person overall. And this never should come at the
behest of like responding to something else, responding to something
that was said to you or something that was done
to you or a person in your life. I guess
those might seem like really useful things to grow and
(03:57):
to make those catalysts, but this should never be the
reason why you do any thing. The reason that you
should respond is because if your healed, this because you're healing,
you're growing, and you're choosing to be better, not because
you want to get back to someone or make them
regret or mishon or anything. I mean, are those byproducts, sure,
but that shouldn't be the antithesis of what you do here. Right,
(04:17):
This shouldn't be the main point of the reason that
you do this thing. It should always be because you
want to improve. It should always because you want to grow.
And that's that's our premace today. These boundaries, that these
borders boundaries rather than have borders that help us just
be better. But the reality is that most people will
(04:38):
only respect us as far as we respect ourselves, So
they won't respect you if you don't respect your boundaries.
Truth is, we teach people how to tat to treat us.
We teach them what it's okay, what it's not okay,
it's okay to repeat, what's not okay to repeat by
our actions, and when our boundaries are firm, those people
who want to bothery those boundaries. When you're affirming that thing,
(05:02):
you teach them that that's not okay and What happens
often is that sometimes we'll have that boundary and people
will look at us and they'll say, well, oh, this
and that and the theory will remind us of something.
They'll say something, and what happens is that we lower
that boundary so they know that now they have access
to us do those things, that if we say something
and we don't mean it, that it's going to be
(05:23):
easy for them to manibuild us out of it. The
reason I mentioned that is because a lot of people
struggle with boundaries with other people, whether it's romantic partners
or family members. We tend to do this thing where
we allow certain people certain power over us, and we say, well,
I'm going to be firm in this boundary and this
is where I'm not changing and not moving, except you
make the exception to this person, and you make this
(05:45):
the thing that you'll allow to happen. So it means
nothing to note his if you're going to be too
afraid to step into it. I'm not encouraging them not
to listen, not to grow, and not to learn, but
I am challenging that that part the limiting belief that
you think that you can't do this, or you can't
be firm with these people because of something they've had
over your life, some experience that they've had over you.
(06:08):
The reality is that you don't deserve to continue in
those states. You deserve the fullness of the power that
you've already been given. So knowing this, knowing that there's
just going to be respect or lack thereof based on
how firm you are on this boundary, the ball is
now in your court. Are you going to actually be
firm on this you can actually be real with what
(06:28):
you're saying, or are you going to go against this thing?
And it's easy again to fall into old habits because
we've given emotional control to these people, but they will
respect the boundary that you're firm on. It might not
feel like it at first, but it will be the
fullness of what you need. And at the end of
the day, the only person that has that power to
(06:50):
choose that's going to be you. And we need to
be firm on all these boundaries that we talk about
before we dive into anything else. They need to be
actionable before there are anything that we think that's going
to actually change outside of it. And we'll talk a
little bit more about that after this real quick commercial break.
So this season in my life, I'm trusting how people
(07:12):
make me feel the first time like, I'm not trying
to justify their emotions or why they did or what
they did. I'm not trying to find a reason to
give them vindication for their actions. We need to take
into consideration that we are living life too, and these
people that did these things to you or said these
things you made you feel that way, didn't take death
for regard at all. They didn't care. And we tend
(07:34):
to try to justify their emotions or their mistakes based
on their life. We tend to say that, well, they
went through X, Y and Z, so this is why
they treated me this way. All you're doing is giving
them an excuse. All you're doing is letting them off
the hook based on the thing they did and not
realizing that what you're doing to yourself is causing yourself
the struggle in the pain, and you have to be
the one that impacts for them, and they will continue
(07:55):
to do the things that they've done. I'm okay with
not having people in my life who do not feel
that it's okay to value and love me. That it's
not okay to care about my emotions. I'm not justifying
their crappy actions just to keep them around. And this
is the difference with our boundaries. When we begin to
be firm on these boundaries, that they change our lives
(08:17):
completely because it allows us to be just honest on
what we deserve and how much we could become better.
And when we focus on these boundaries, I want them
to be inward. They're focused towards us, not towards things
that people say or do or any of that nature.
Their boundaries that we need to set with us. And
this is why I'm saying I want to do I'm
(08:38):
gonna do the little challenge I'm gonna get at the
end of this. I'm doing that with you because I
think it's important for us to first define boundaries within
ourselves and then outwards. And that's how we build. Right.
You don't build a house from the roof down right,
you build it from a firm foundation up. You grow
from these things. So when we talk about these boundaries,
(09:00):
maybe some of these things are things that you're already
do in your life. Like when I'm talking about like
literal actionable things, I'm talking about literal actionable things. Some
of these things might be things you're already to do
in your life or or have a version of. And
I just want to connect these together because what this does,
it is going to help us physically, spiritually, emotionally, and
in every aspect that there's a challenge within every premise
(09:21):
of those things. Right, everything that you are if you
do not know this, you are physical, you're spiritual, and
you're emotional. These are all things that you need to
serve and care for if you want to live a
purposeful life. But before I dive into these steps, right,
the actionable things, I do want to just take a
little bit in that reality that there are boundaries that
(09:42):
we have allowed people to continue to pass over. And
this is probably happening now, and there might be situations
in your life where there's certain people that you do
not like the way they speak to you, or the
way they treat you, or what they do, and you
feel like it's gone way too far. I want to
just make this clear. It is never too late or
(10:03):
too early or too long time to start declaring boundaries
Like tomorrow, today, this very day, you could make those
boundaries clear. If they were used to getting away with
certain things, today could the day you say, you know
what we're done. But again, it doesn't matter that you
want this. And I don't want that to sound mean,
because what you want matters, But what I mean is
(10:26):
that it doesn't matter that you want this if you're
not willing to do what you need to keep. It
doesn't matter that you desire that. If you're not willing
to step into the thing, it doesn't matter that you
want that thing. If you're not willing to be mean
to them, to be good to yourself, and you don't
have to be a jerk to people, but you do
have to learn to love you more, love you enough
that you don't allow them to continue to make you
(10:47):
love you less, you'll allow them to rob you of that.
I think one of the hardest things that we've ever
seeing in this world, one of the hardest things we
do see in this world are people who have so
much to give and so much to love, but they
have been stuck in things with people that have been
taking that they have convinced themselves that if they stay longer,
if they do more, that eventually they'll get to that
(11:08):
person and they'll be able to help them and change
them and fix them. And you cannot fix any It
is hard to fix yourself. This is why we're talking
about borders and boundaries and changing in ourselves before anyone else,
because it is so hard to fix yourself. It is
really difficult to change your life. To change your mind,
you have to change certain patterns and habits and routines
and make those things different for you to be the
(11:29):
person you want to be. What makes you think that
you are going to convince somebody to change their own mind,
to change the things that they need to do. We
break our own hearts thinking that we can change anyone else,
and they don't respect us and our boundaries because we
(11:50):
left them. We left them where they were in that
open door to continue to do and go and come
and return as they please, declared that boundary. I'm not
saying it's not gonna hurt, because if something that's improving happens,
it's gonna hurt. I always I tell the story of
my tory labor right my arm, the therapy that I
(12:12):
had to go through. It was pain. It's pain to
go through something that's going to be better for you.
But the problem is that you're living with the pain
right now instead of going through the pain that's going
to make you feel better later, because it's easy to
stay in this hurt. So before we talk about the
tangible things, I do think that we need that check
(12:32):
that there are certain things in our lives that we're
letting people get away with because we want to justify
the place that they have in our lives, Like we
allow them to treat us poorly and say things to
us and make us feel some type of way, or
ignore us or keep us to the side until we're convenient,
because we think that a more simple of them is
better than none of them. We think that getting a
little bit is enough to keep you there. But the
(12:53):
problem was with that, with getting the little breadcrumbs is
that it satisfies for the moment, but it keeps you hunger.
And this is a tactic that's easily manipulated because if
I can keep you hungry enough that you keep returning,
but I give you just enough to keep you close
in the door so that you don't leave, then I'm
able to control where you are. I'm able to manipulate
(13:13):
your emotions and your feelings and control that false reality
that you think something might be fixed, or might happen,
or might grow from this and if I can control
that in you, I can control you, You'll never leave.
We need to be firm on those boundaries, not because
we don't love them, but because we've learned to love ourselves,
(13:35):
because we'll stop letting them rob us of that. And
I think that's something that so many people go through.
I mean, I know it is because of all the
conversations I've had, but I feel like we've all experienced
these things, like we've all been in situations or relationships
or schooling or work, even work environments or even family
members were we tried so hard, Like you showed up
(13:58):
and you tried your best and gave everything you had,
and you were clearly the best option for this thing,
the best choice to pick the best decision to make,
but you were still passed over. And it's not that
you didn't have worth or didn't have value, but you
gave so much into this thing that now you're sitting
empty because it never poured back into you. There's a
(14:20):
point where we start to clearing boundaries that help us
understand that if we're not reciprocal, if it's not mutual,
it's not good, then it's not worth it. And you
cut it there, And this is the most important thing
you have learned is to notice patterns. Like people can
say whatever they want. They can tell you what they feel,
what they think, or they can tell you what they
want you to think or feel. They can make them
(14:42):
manipulate that, but they will never be able to change
the patterns because the patterns are coinciding with their habits
and what the true desires are. When you're looking at
something they're saying to you, it's easy to say nice words.
Anyone can say nice things, but what are they doing,
Like are the patterns actually matching the desire. They can
tell you that they want something with you, or from you,
or in you, but are they doing the things that
(15:05):
make you feel that way? Are they just stringing you
along enough for you to think that one day it
might happen. The reality is that patterns will never lie.
They will show you what the people are not dealing with,
the person is not doing or saying, and actually point
out the reality of what this is. We need to
learn that patterns are our best friends. That they will
(15:26):
tell us more by showing us than the words that
they're actually saying. That they will show you what they want,
even if what they're saying doesn't match. These are borders,
well not borders, these are boundaries that we need. Borders
again keep us in, boundaries, keep bad things out and
(15:49):
allows you to move. So we're going to talk about
some tangible boundaries that are supposed to be a challenge.
This episode really is about this mountain of these boundaries
that we face, but it's challenging those things. And we're
gonna start with the first one. And this first one,
I feel like it's super important, and I'm telling you
that I'm already failing at this, but starting today is
(16:11):
where we're going to change this. We live in a
world that is very overstimulated. It's very We're doing a
thousand things and we're limited amount of sleep. And one
of the most helpful things that you will ever do
is sleep. And obviously I'm struggling at that, not just
(16:31):
I was actually sick a couple of days ago, so
I was really struggling with that, just in that aspect,
but in general, I feel like I don't give that
a priority. So this is why, like I'm saying, like
these are really good, really good, challenging questions and boundaries
for us to set up right and I think it's important.
So our first one is a hard sleep protection boundary.
The role for this first one, and we'll kind of
(16:53):
dive into individually tage ones. It's no phone, no laptop,
no TV. Sixties to ninety minutes before bed, you part
the phone outside of your room. Like for me, my
phone is my alarm. So what I plan on doing
is I'm putting at the farthest table possible in my
room where I can't reach. Why I have to physically
get out of bed to get the phone. That's always
(17:14):
gonna help in a great way with like the alarm itself,
but it the reason this works is the evening evening,
Like we're at a blue light, right, And what happens
is that it suppresses your melatonin, It shifts your your
h it shifts your internal clock, and then the retra
sleep cycle, so you're you're usually more tired trying to
(17:34):
play catch up. It's a circadian rhythm rhythm that's what's
mess up in your sleep cycle specifically, but it controls
the control. Studies say that light emission screens before bed
delay sleep and reduce next morning performance. So the next
day you're significantly worse because you didn't happen. The philosophy
behind this is the guard the gate. So your sleep
(17:58):
is a priority. Your sleep should be this proponent that
helps us, and actually most scientifics that he shows too
where sleep indicates longevity of life and quality of life.
So the more sleep that you get, the better life
you have. Even the physical component, there's a cortisol hormones
in your body, right that are elevated during stress, or
(18:19):
hormones that are elevated during certain parts of of And
the reason that happens is because you have lack of sleep.
So that when you do finally get to sleep and
you do get your normal schedule back in, when that
those store hormones store and this happens in a lot
of other situations, but here particularly, they actually store your
body as fat. So the reason that most people who
do what you well in the gym get very good
(18:40):
sleep is that. Now this is the hard part, right,
figuring out a balance because life is so busy. Life
is a tough thing. So this is why I'll give
the specific timeframe for this little challenge that we're doing here,
But I'm challenging you to this because even if it's
for a few days, right, that we do this, it
(19:00):
changes the quality of life that we have. And there's
something that happens when you see something positive happening that
in your mind you see the shift. So now you
want to continue the shift. So even if we do
it for a small amount of time, it should be
enough for you to see the possibility. So our first
(19:21):
boundary there is sleep. Getting full sleep, so sixty to
ninety minutes before bed, no phone, know anything. If you
want to read, read, that's probably the best thing you
could ever do. But limiting the amount of light that
you take in, limiting the things you're doing, allowing yourself
the fullness to just rest. And for some people it
(19:43):
takes longer fall asleep. So that's perfect because now you're
doing nothing but allowing yourself to sleep. And we'll talk
about the next four boundaries after this quick commercial break.
So these next boundaries on our number two is actually
one of my favorite. I actually do this already and
I think it's why I'm so productive. I'm not always productive,
but when I am, when I do these things, I
(20:04):
become very productive. And it's our single task work block.
So our boundary here is interruption, and what we're doing
in our rule right, we're taking two daily ninety minute
focused blocks. Do not disturb on emails, dms, nothing, you're
not checking anything. You can do this up to you
write whatever works in your schedule. So depending on which
(20:26):
day of the week for me, I'm gonna start doing these.
Later on, I'm gonna wake up very early, so it's
one of my goals too. But later on during the night,
right or during the evening, I'll have a block in
which I will this is where I'll do everything. I'll
respond to my emails, I'll write a script out, edit videos,
i will do whatever it needs to do. What happens
here will this actually motivates in us is intentional time.
(20:49):
We're desiring to do things intentionally. So what happens is
when you create these blocks, you have nothing else but that.
And yes, it's easily to be distracted, sure, especially in
the beginning. Yes, but if you're intentional about this, you
allow yourself the space to just create and respond and
do things within that timeframe. And your brain is telling you, oh,
time is running out, so we need to get this
(21:10):
done a sep. We need to get these things moving.
Our focus here is attention, in attention to your life
it's to do things on purpose. And there's like a
deep philosophical proponent to this, but just looking at the
very surface of it, that you're doing things intentionally where
you are. So interruptions make people work faster, but with
(21:31):
more stress, frustration, and time pressure. It's a cognitive quality
doesn't improve. Removing interruptions protects the accuracy and lowers the strains.
So this is actually from a study. This is where
by the way, all these things are backed by other
studies that I found. So it helps us understand that
this time frame has to be the block that things
are done. It helps us create that actual progression within
(21:55):
that time frame. So if it's limited to those ninety
minutes or whatever that is for you, if it's only
one or two blocks dur the day, I think we
get more done in the smallest time frame than we
would in otherwise. So our third one is the movement minimums.
And this is one of those health boundaries. And this
is actually one of those things that people already do.
I feel like the ten thousand step things, all those things,
whatever that looks like for you, it's an hour of
(22:17):
just something physical and whatever that that movement might be
is just walking or running or whatever that is. It
allows us the space to take care of that other
physical component of us. But that's one of the most
important things ever too, because like sleep or sleep is
help great for health, but it's also help healthy and
good for our emotional states because if we move, we
(22:38):
actually produce hormones that create joy in us, that actually
make us happy. For a lot of people, they are
miserable because there is no movement in their life, not
just you know, not just like going for walks or
stuff like that, but there's nothing that's challenging them enough
to step into that next thing. So this boundary is
a health boundary. We need to create space where we're
(23:01):
doing things that are going to challenge us. Obviously they
don't have to be super difficult, but enough we're challenging
you to move and to grow in that health space
to be able to produce something more. A fourth one here,
and this one might be I'm a prefaces. This one
might be a little bit tougher for some of us
because it ties into certain things that we've already dealt with.
(23:21):
It's okay to trust people like okay, we're going to
rephrase it. It's good and useful to have people in your
life that you know you can trust. And I know
that this is a hard one because we don't have
that with a lot of people. We don't have that
with many people that we feel that are trustworthy, and
then we can come to with our problems and whatever
it is. I'm not saying with this next boundary that
(23:42):
you have to be, you know, crying and super vulnerable,
but definitely find something with someone that you're able to
just not just speak to yourself about. Because what happens
is that sometimes we know the answers to the things
that we're trying to solve. We know we know the outcome,
we know how we can work and how it could be,
(24:03):
but we are not vocal with it with anyone else,
so we never actually work through it. Like this is
why a lot of people speak out loud when like
literally physically speak out loud when they're solving an issue
in their life, because sometimes saying the thing helps you
put things into perspective. But there's something beautiful that happens
when we have physical connections with people, and naturally science
(24:24):
backs is up in this too that there is a
almost like a happier response or more of a cognitive
response to the things that's happening when you are able
to do it or work through way or grow with
it with another person. So again, I don't know your situation.
I don't know if you have people that you are
comfortable with or people that you know that you're close to.
(24:46):
But if you're a faith based maybe going to a
clergy person, right or something like that, or believe it
or not. This is going to sound crazy, and I'm
not saying to do this, but just an idea. I
have seen the person. Well I say one person because
I haven't anyone else to do it. But I ask the
person that would go to random people, like literally a
(25:06):
random person in the street and have a conversation about
this about like their issues things are struggling with and
would literally ask random people for advice. Now, there's something
cool about that, And I feel like that's something cool
if you did like like a social media type of
thing right where you would go to people and say, hey,
this is the problem, what's your advice. Maybe we should
do like a series like that whatever, We'll come back
(25:26):
to that. But having a connection with the person, why,
because there's something just meaningful about that relationship. So this
boundary again is not limited to that. I mean, you're
welcome to do however, but if you have someone or
people right, so protect protect a small inner circle to
schedule too high quality touch in, touch in or conversations.
(25:50):
They can be called it's a call, could be coffee,
you could be prayers, it could be checking with with
people who are good for you. But then the same
boundary also limit chaotic people. So limit people that are
causing stress or stress in your life or issues, limit
the connections you have for them, especially in this timeframe.
You're gonna look for people who are healthy or good
(26:12):
conversations and limit the opposite, right, because the whole goal
with this boundary is being able to still have relationship
and connection, but understanding that you also have the power
to tell people that I don't really want to talk
to you, like I really don't want you in my life,
so be intentional about it. Here I wrote two intentional touches.
(26:33):
I don't know if that's easy for everybody or practical
for everybody, And two intentional people that you speak to
maybe during the week or a day here or day there,
or whatever it is that might not be easy for
everybody that might be difficult, that might not be something
that we have access to, but at the very minimum,
so we'll actually lower this. We'll make this at least one. Right,
So for the time frame that we're doing the challenge,
(26:54):
which I believe where it's being closer, I think it's
only a week, but we'll see that in a minute, right.
And our last one news is social diet, And this
is so important. We're living in this world where there's
like a thousand things happening and we don't know what's
real and what's not real. Like, let's be honest, there's
a lot of things that are either mispurported or underreported,
(27:17):
Like we've seen terrible situations and like immigration and all
these things that are just doesn't make sense to treat
people the way that people being treated. We're seeing. We're
seeing so many things that have just an influx of issues.
So I'm not saying you shouldn't be informed and you
shouldn't know, but I am saying that you shouldn't overstimulate,
(27:38):
you shouldn't overtaken information, you shouldn't overtake these things, and
you should probably limit the amount of conversations you have
with other people. Based on these things. So for this timeframe,
which again I think it's like a week that we're
doing this, we're gonna cap news and socials to twenty
minutes once or twice a day, so that's our limit
(27:59):
for the day. Are going to take the use in,
you know, take it for twenty minutes of the day,
and that's it. We're not taking anything more. We're not
we're not arguing about it, we're not having conversations with
people about it. Because what happens is that we now
we become a part of it. We're adding ourselves to
the mess and the mix of the problem, and your
(28:19):
brain will stay just stimulating all these things that are
happening because there's so many things they're happening. I'm not
saying you shouldn't be informed, that you shouldn't know. I
am saying that you shouldn't be overly obsessed and overly
indulgent in things that probably shouldn't have as much power
as they do. For some people, we might need apps,
right timers. Let's say relater c longs the our metric
(28:43):
you're screen time reporting, so you can use your phone, though,
will tell you what you're spending most of your time
on which is another thing. Right, we should cap your
phone in there, but that's a boundary we didn't add.
So what does this looks like? So our one week
plan if we're doing this challenge, because take a week
just again just to give ourselves this not power, but
(29:06):
this ability. And what we want here is to do
these things effectively so that they help us grow. They
create the boundary in us. And the whole purpose again
is that I'm able to challenge myself to do this
and then slowly grow away from it, and it ultimately
it allows us to build boundaries with other people. So
I refuse to engage with people who are committed to
proving me wrong and not improving in anything. It's pointless
(29:30):
to try and change in the mind of people who
have committed themselves to seeing you as a villain. As
we look at those boundaries and grow with that, we
need to understand that that's where that's going to lead. Ultimately,
that you don't feel this extra need and extra push
to convince other people of you, if you don't feel
like you need to change anything in you to please them,
(29:51):
and we would create boundaries in ourselves. It allows us
to have boundaries with them, because if I can master
that in me, then I know that I'm not going
to allow other people to continue to push. So thank
you for listening, thanks for being on this episode, and
the whole goal here again is just to make better us.
So what of the mountain looks like for you? Hopefully
these boundaries within you help you expose their weakness and
(30:14):
growth through it. So good old if you don't mind
giving those five stars and downloading the episodes, which would
really really help. Thank you for listening, and we'll see
you on the next one.
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