October 30, 2025 • 32 mins
There’s a moment in life when you finally stop explaining why you’re okay with less.
This episode is about that moment the day you realize you deserve better. Not because you’ve “earned” it, but because you’ve finally remembered your worth.
Joshua Rosa unpacks what it looks like to stop settling in relationships, in work, and in the standards you hold for yourself. Through honesty, lived experience, and raw reflection, he walks you through how to break free from people, patterns, and places that no longer match your growth.
✅ Recognize the subtle signs you’ve been settling
✅ Understand how fear disguises itself as loyalty
✅ Cut ties with toxic people and self-limiting habits
✅ Rewrite your standards without guilt
✅ Embrace the emotional shift that comes with alignment
✅ Find freedom in walking away from what doesn’t serve your peace
“You deserve more than breadcrumbs that keep you satisfied but never fed.”
“Compassion isn’t slavery. You can understand someone and still decide you can’t stay there.”
This episode will challenge you to stop trying to make people see your value — and start living like you already know it.
🎧 Listen to Made For This Mountain every week for conversations on healing, identity, and purpose — available on all streaming platforms.
📍 Follow Joshua:
- Instagram: @_joshuarosa
- TikTok: @_joshuarosa
- YouTube: @MadeForThisMountain
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I realize one day that I deserve so much better
than what I've been set for. Like that's what everything
that's with relationships, that's with romantic or platonic, that's with
family members, that's with my career, that's literally with everything
in my life. I realize one day that I've just
been kind of going with the flow, like I've just
kind of been letting life happen to me and not
for me. Thatn't say, And I think that becomes so
(00:20):
easy to live under what you deserve because you think
that you're just getting what you're gonna get. And this
comes like even deeper with like personal efforts in my life,
Like there's things that I'm still working on. Of course,
there's things that I'm still growing on because I know
I deserve them. I know that I have to do
the work to get there. I can't just anticipate that
it's just gonna happen. But there has to be this
point of just realizing that you deserve so much more.
(00:44):
You don't deserve the breadcrumbs, you don't deserve the bare minimum.
We don't deserve the things that have just been given
to you to keep you along. For a lot of
people we stay stuck in that because it's so hard
to realize it. It's so hard to sit back and realize, Man,
it's not just that I deserve, it is I deserve
to give it to myself. This is made for this
mountain with Josh Rosa or we're turning pain into purpose.
(01:06):
You deserve more than just the breadcrumbs that keep you
satisfied but never full. Like we fail to change our
environment because we've become so used to the thought of
maybe if we just show up more of, we do
more of, we just give more effort that one day
it's going to be reciprocated and you trying harder has
never made someone or something appreciate you more, like you
(01:27):
giving yourself even deeper and even more into that particular thing.
While it might seem good, it's never made it love
you more. It's never made it appreciate you more. Why
because they didn't appreciate it from the beginning. They were
just conveniently taking what you were giving. It was easy
to just receive than it was to ever change something.
And what happens often is that we see the breadcrumbs
and we try to imagine what the cake would be like.
(01:48):
We see that the bare minimum, and we think that
there is going to be so much more and so
much bigger and so much greater. You deserve so much.
You deserve more than just a little. And it's heartbreaking
to see this because we stay this, We stay in
this in so many things. Yes, relationships, right, that's the
easiest fold for us to look at that. It's just
(02:08):
the easiest thing because there's so many people that struggle
through relationships. They're staying those things. They know that it's
killing them. But even in your career, even in your dream,
even in the thing you've done, you deserve more. And
it's become this rt this rat race in this world
where we have just given up on ourselves like this,
this is what kills me. This is what breaks my
(02:30):
heart to most. This is this is the thing that
makes me like literally hurt tiving these conversations with people.
Because we have become okay with just being in rooms,
not being the attention of the room, not even not
even in the room itself. We have become okay with
just being at the door. We want to get invited
to the door, and the reality is that that doesn't matter,
(02:51):
like you being outside or being around it. It would
never mean anything if you don't realize how much you
deserve and are willing to do things to move yourself,
to change your perspective, just to be there. I get it.
This might sound like I'm beating a dead horse. I
feel like this is something so many people understand and
say and lift through, but I don't think it's something
(03:12):
that people actually implement. And the reason that I believe
that we don't implement the understanding that we deserve more
in life. In general, this is a mountain for a
lot of people is because of that factor. We think
that just enough is good enough. We think that if
we are just receiving breadcrumbs that eventually the cake will
be around, or even worse, that we don't deserve the
full cake. We think that we wouldn't be able to
(03:33):
handle it, that it wouldn't be good enough, that we're
not good enough for it, that we have to be
something different. You deserve fullness. You don't deserve partiality. You
don't deserve convenience, you don't deserve time. You deserve the
complete fullness of it. And when you begin to settle
and be okay with mediocrity, when you begin to be
okay and settle for just a bare minimum. When you
begin to be okay with settling for things that you
(03:55):
know are going to rob you of your time and
your piece, you will be telling those things that it's
okay to treat you that way, and worse worse than
just telling them, and those things that those careers, those people,
those places, though even worse than all of that. The
worst part of all this is that you then begin
to say this about yourself. You then begin to produce
this in you. And this is what ends up happening
(04:16):
in so many people that they create this dichotomy between
what they deserve, who they are, and what they're getting.
I need you to understand, and I feel like that's
my slogan. I'm gonna put that on a shirt. But
it kills me because we begin to make ourselves our
own biggest enemy. Like there's a study that happened, and
in the study says that every human has about twelve
(04:37):
thousand to eighty thousand thoughts in a day. So this
is the average twelve thousand to eighty thousand thoughts, and
statistically speaking, in within those averages, eighty percent of those
thoughts are negative. Eighty percent of the thoughts that you're having.
So let's just say you had one hundred thoughts today.
That means eighty of those thoughts that you had, whether
you're aware of it or not, are negative. We are
(05:00):
more likely to downplay ourselves than we are to lift
ourselves up. And this is actually something I had this week.
I had a conversation. I was at this event with
celebrating latinos and culture and industries and all these things
that we're in And the reality is that this was
a theme that you could literally sow through the entire
(05:21):
the setting, the entire thing. I started the first talk
of the event, right, I gave that first talk, and
I gave a podcast thing that I'm going to share
a little bit later after this episode. I actually believe
it was the next episode. But the theme that we
consistently saw through and through was a constant realization of
what we deserve, like this wake up moment, like this
(05:41):
moment where it's just like, oh, I deserve this, Like
I deserve to be in these rooms. I deserve to
be celebrated in these places. I deserve more. I don't
deserve the bare minimum, don't deserve the breakups. I don't
deserve to be in those places that aren't good for me.
We tend to live in what we think we deserve.
(06:01):
And it ourd to ask you today, what do you deserve?
Whatever you thought, that's what you deserve, whether you believe
or you don't believe, that's what you deserve, because you've
made it so that you have to settle for it.
You've convinced yourself that that's all you're going to have,
and that's all you ever be, so you know what,
that's all you're going to get. We live in a
culture that has taught us that we just have to
(06:24):
fit into certain places, and I get it. I'm not
saying that by any means it's easy for everyone. There
are very few people that do what I do that
are fortunate enough enough to do what I do. But
doesn't mean that I don't deserve. It doesn't mean that
I don't show up. Because the one thing I will say,
and I do say this before we jump into our
first commercial here, which are always really quick by the way,
(06:46):
I thank you for listening through and thank you for
listening to those commercials and just to spend the time
with us here, because that's what pays for this well,
actually your downloads and your extremes is shares, But sorry,
tangent forgot I had to do that. Back to this reality,
there are people in this world that are significantly more
talented than you are, and there are people in this
world who are not even close to as talented as
(07:08):
you are. Both of them might believe that they deserve
what they're getting. They might believe they deserve to be
in places they're supposed to be, and they are. But
the one that kills me, the one that should kill us,
should make us feel like, ah, I should be better,
is the one that is not as talented as you are.
There are people with a third of your talenting, living
the life that you desire, living the dream that you desire,
(07:32):
a third of your gifting, and they're doing things that
you would only dream of doing, not because they're better
than you, but because they believe they deserve more. And
we'll talk about this right after this real quick commercial break.
There's a shift that happens in you when you realize
that you deserve more and deserve better. And I don't
want to call it attachment, but it's more of a
long lines of alignment. When you understand that you are
(07:55):
not getting what you deserve. You tend to disconnect from
certain things, whether it's peace, people, whether it's career paths,
whether it's situations, whether it's things that you constantly fall
back into. When you have this like awakening of what
I deserve, it just like disconnects from everything else. You
realize that the things that you are wasting time in
(08:16):
and I use that word very clearly wasting time and
are the things that are going to rob you of
the life that you deserve to live. At some point
we have to make a decision are we going to
stay in these places or are we actually going to
detach ourselves enough to align to the things we deserve.
There's a moment that we all bypass. Right there's just
(08:37):
this I guess acknowledgment of where we are right now.
Like again, I don't know where you're listening from. I
don't know what stage of your life you're in. I
don't know what you're feeling, what you're like. But I
do believe that firmly believe that we all have these
moments where we sit back and think, Man, what am
I doing? Like? Am I living the life I need
(08:58):
to live? Am I doing the thing I need to do,
and my feeling the way I need to feel? And
am I the best version of me? And I don't
mean the most perfect right the happy is. I don't
mean like you have to have everything figured out or
that everything that you do is just perfect and you
wake up and you don't even have to brush your
teeth somehow because this smells great? I mean, are you fruitful?
(09:18):
And I think this is what hurts us most. That
we are are creatures of creation, So we are called
to create, we're called to make where we're called to
do different things. And when when the life we live
is not creating, it's not bearing fruit, then we feel
the most miserable, that we feel the most hurt, that
we feel the most lost. And the answer to that,
it's actually very easy, but it's also very hard to do,
(09:38):
is understanding that the life you're called to live is
a life of alignment. It's a life that is producing
something out of it that you are creating. Whatever your
gifting or your craft is, or your talent or your time,
whatever that thing that naturally draws to you, that's the
thing that you were called to produce in. That's the
thing that you were called to show, to sew in
(09:59):
it to growing through. And what happens is that when
we're outside of that, we always feel miserable. We don't
realize that we're not living in what we deserve. When
when this moment happens, when this is uh, we don't
call it awakening, but when this awareness comes to be,
we stop entertaining people and things that don't serve us.
Like we stop to those friendships that are just drawing us,
(10:23):
drawing from our energy and just just robbing us of it.
We stop those communications, those relationships with people that we
know isn't going anywhere. We stop these situations where we're
not doing anything possible, because again it's not bringing fruit,
it's not doing anything good. So I about to ask
you right now, and again obviously you can't really answer you,
but I mean, welcome to email me or go to
(10:44):
madre monivate dot com and a little box and share
it with me. But if I were to ask you
right now, do you feel like you're living the life
you deserve or are you in the mountain of being
disconnected from that? I think a lot of us would
ender the ladder because a life we deserve is also
(11:04):
a life of continued work like it doesn't mean okay,
alignment where you want to be, does not mean that
life instantly becomes easier. It doesn't mean that you have
no serve, no work, no effort, no time that comes
behind this, because there has to be a level of
(11:27):
structure and a level of effort that goes. There is
no person in this world that is happy when they
don't have to work. And I know that sounds redundant.
I know for a lot of us, our dream is
to just not have to have a job and just
pay our bills and travel the world and those amazing things,
and that sounds fun and all, But there is something
that happens when there is no challenge to a human
Like when you don't actually have something that's challenging you,
(11:49):
that's pushing you, you're more likely to be depressed. The
most depressed people in this world, statistically speaking, are the
people that don't want to they'll have purpose, but are
the people that have no actual obligation. This is why
you see it so often like Hollywood, like some of
the most wealthiest and well known and all these people,
if they're not really working, if they just came into wealth,
if it just came into this money. Typically they're the
(12:11):
most oppressed because there is nothing tying them to purpose.
They're not behind on anything. They're just casually living life
and it sounds great and it's all. But there has
to be some type of friction in our life because
that's the most human thing. This is our natural thing. Again,
where creatures of creation, but we're also creatures of work.
(12:32):
In fact, I'm not gonna get too deep here, but
the first command in the garden was Abo Daan and
Shamar to cultivate and to grow. That we were created
to create, We were created to grow. We were created
to cultivate, to work. There's something special about that. And
this is tied in perfectly because when you realize what
you deserve, you stop working for the things you don't deserve.
You start working into the things you do deserve. You
(12:53):
start growing through that thing that starts being the catalysts.
That's what pushes you further. We stop letting people who
should not have value or power in our lives continue
to have that. We stop allowing that to happen. There
has to be a moment, there has to be a
(13:14):
push where you allow yourself to live in what you deserve.
And I know that there's like wounds that tie into this, right,
because sometimes we've lived lives where our family members have
been the reasons that we feel like we're worthless, and
we feel like we don't have value, that we don't
have self worth, that we don't have all these things.
And in fact, actually I was just as a driving here.
(13:36):
I was listening to a study specifically on attachment styles.
And of course there are a bunch of unique attachment styles,
but the most common one that we see often that
we see problems with their avoidant attachment styles. And in
this study, they were talking about how the reason that
a lot of people are avoidant has to do with
their family members has to do with the love that
(13:58):
they receive when they were kids. So not to get
too deep in this, but has to do with the
level of affection that they received. If the parents who
were raising the kids were more affectionate, if they were
more present, if they hugged them longer literally and didn't
have these gaps of coldness in between, or didn't move away,
(14:19):
then the type of love that the kid would develop
would be secure, secure attachment, and they would be able
to trust in that love because they knew it was
their consistent and full They felt the emotional connection there.
It wasn't just like a partiality that I love you
today not tomorrow, or I trew to this way today
not tomorrow. There was no on and off. It was
a consistent thing. So the level of affection that they
(14:42):
received would be the level of affection that they would
be able to be comfortable with when they become adults.
If there was discrepancy there and they would tie this
into all their relationships, they would be overbearing, they would
be overtexting, they would be concerned in their own head
thinking that the would be the end of it because
of something insignificant. There is this reality where we produce
(15:05):
that and sometimes it's not your fault. Sometimes you have
been raised into something that literally has nothing to do
with you. And this is where again therapy is a huge,
huge bonus. But it's also the reality that we have
to tell ourselves that these things aren't true, that they're
not our reality, that eighty percent right of us thinking
that things are negative, being able to address and identify
(15:25):
those things to say, listen, this is not a reality.
So there are things that's like a long winded way
of saying there are things that are already your hands.
There are things that have happened in the past, and
I don't want to vindicate that too much because I
don't I'm not a firm believer that we have to
only adhere to our past, that we're defined by those things.
(15:46):
I do think they pay a role. I do think
that they're important to understand, but I don't think that
they're everything. I don't think that they are the crux
of everything we do. We need to be able to
identify those things, whatever that is. It's again things that
are out of our hands and out of our control,
or things that we've allowed to continue. But the moment
(16:07):
that we wake up and realize what we deserve, we
stop the attachment to these other things. It's remembering that
compassion doesn't mean slavery. Like you can you can understand
and sympathize with something or someone and still understand that
you can't remain there. A lot of us aren't slaves
to to our choices. We're slaves to our stupidity. We
(16:29):
don't we give this this thing thinking that oh, well,
I'm loyal. No, you're not loyal. You're just giving into
that stupidity. You're giving into that slave mindset where you
think that you have to stay here just because you're
This is what loyalty is. Loyalty is not killing you
and hurting you. Loyalty is not making you feel like
you're a waste or on deserving of something. That's not loyalty.
You've committed to something, sure, but it's not a good commitment.
(16:51):
That's not loyalty, slavery and we have to make a
decision at some point, Am I going to stay in
something because I feel like I owe it to anything?
And then maybe even to challenge that what do you
owe it? What do you owe them? What have you
not repaid? It's not fair to you to stay in
(17:13):
something just because you think that you owe them something,
or just because you think that the longer you remain
in it, the better it's going to become, or that
their life is so rough and you sympathize with this
so that they only have you and that they need you.
You're not. You're not it's not your job. You're not
(17:34):
You're not Jesus. You're You're not here to save them.
You're not Superman. Your job is not to save them.
There is no relationship that we deal with, whether romantic
or a family member or friendship. And I get this
one because I know it's it's painful, especially when it
comes to family members that we think that we have
to over show and be bigger and brand and greater
(17:57):
just because they're going through so much. I understand the
sympathy comput of this, and I don't want to sound insensitive,
because I don't. I'm not. But there's a point where
we need to realize that it's not our role or
our job to fix them. It's not our role or
our job to save them, and no matter what we do,
(18:19):
we would never will. It's not it's impossible for you
to make someone understand and see what they need to
I don't want you to think it's easy, and I
speak from personal experience on what I'm telling you. It's
not an easy thing to do. But sometimes we make
our sympathy our slavery. There are some friendships, romantic relationships,
(18:42):
careers that you understand their struggle and falsely tie yourself
to it, like you know what they're going through and
what they're feeling, so you think that you have to
show up for them in that moment and it's beautiful
that you want to show up for them, But what
is it called I'll see you? So looking into what
(19:03):
we deserve and how to really identify that. And I
think this is a big takeaway here, other than obviously
addressing the things that are at the core of it all,
addressing those main issues, there's things that we deserve in
our lives that we don't allow to flourish because we're
hiding it behind other things. So example, I'd hate to
(19:26):
use this example, but I think it's again little bearing
fruit relationships. There are some relationships that you know are
not fruitful for you, that you know are not good
for you, that you know you shouldn't be in. And again,
I'm not saying it's easy. I never wanted to want
to hear this and say, oh, but you could just
say it's easy to say and to do. I get it.
It's not. I'm not saying it's not hard to do.
I am saying, however, that you have to choose the
pain of the struggle. Either there's hard to do or
(19:47):
hard to stay in forever. You're either going to struggle
right now or you're going to struggle for the long
term struggle. You're going to struggle now and then relationships
are sometimes the easiest things to talk about because we
all go through it. But realizing that there's certain people
that do not serve or bear fruit in our lives.
So if we continue to allow them to remain, will
continue to make sure that we stay in this pain.
(20:11):
And if you have made every effort, if you've made
it clear and you're still where you are where you are,
that you need to realize that there is nothing that
you can change. We'll talk about the rest of this
after this quick commercial break. The biggest lie you will
ever tell yourself is that you can change them like
(20:33):
that you can come into this mess and make them
finally see what you're worth it, that you are going
to love them so deeply that they're going to one
day realize, man, we'll look at this person, Look how
great they are. That you are going to sit here
and it be as amazing as you already are, and
they're going to realize what you deserve, or that you're
going to threaten them by walking away and saying, well,
if you don't pick me, I'm going to I'm gonna
(20:54):
pick me and leave, but then not really leave. So
what you just taught them is that they can use
you and continue to say all these things because you're
not going anywhere. You said that you were going to
do this, You set that boundary and you stayed. So
what you have just taught them is that they have
complete power over you. The biggest lie you will ever
say to yourself is that they will one day wake
up and be what they haven't been. That they will
(21:17):
one day wake up and realize that you deserve more.
And all you're going to do is break your own
heart trying to prove to them who you actually are.
The only thing you can ever do here is leave,
walk away from the thing that does not love you,
and serve you back. At the end of the day,
we'll continue to stay in this circle, in this where
(21:37):
thinking that it's okay when we talk about deserving things.
And this is why again I just picked relationships because
it's so easy. But we can shape that very easily
to ourselves, Like you can picture that with you. Why
don't you do the things you want to do because
you don't believe yourself because you have set boundaries, or
if you've said things to yourself and what you've done
(21:58):
is that you haven't stayed with them. You haven't been
in them. So it's easy for you to say, but
you're not gonna do that. I don't believe you you're
staying there. I love to give challenges in these things,
and I feel like if at the very least there's
something that we can do to try to even break
this habit. And I've mentioned this before, but it's starting
the thing. It's starting anything small. Doing something literally that
(22:20):
you've promised yourself you were gonna do that allows us
to be able to push on and press into whatever
that looks like. There has to be a balance, right,
There has to be this reality of what we deserve
and the struggle of the things we're going through. And
why I say that because sometimes it's easy. Again, it's
(22:40):
easy to just say it's easy to say these things
and not now move on. But when we understand that, listen,
this is what's happened to me, this is where I'm at,
this is where I've lived, we can look at those
things and say, but this is not what I deserve
and start changing small things again. I'm going to be great.
It'd be amazing if you wake up tomorrow and you
just like fix all your problems and pick that thing
that will terrible for you and just like identify it
(23:02):
and change it completely. Amazing, that would be I would
love to hear your story. That's great for most of us.
That's very difficult for most of us. We are not
going to change everything at that magnitude that quickly for
most of us, who are going to pick the small
thing and start there, realizing that you deserve so much more.
This mountain of what you deserve is going to continue
(23:23):
to be prevalent. It's going to continue to be there,
and we can't go around it. I mean, we could
go around it, but it would still be the mountains
we could only conquer. We could only go over it,
because that's actually a perfect analogy. Going around something like
this will take you forever. You'd be stuck in the
(23:43):
same place, looking at the same thing, constantly thinking that
you're making progress. But the reality is that so far
and so long that you are going to continue to
go until it doesn't even matter anymore, because life is over.
We can only face this thing with the quickest route
through it is over it. The only way that we'll
ever be able to conquer these things is to go
(24:05):
through the mountain to go over it, and at some
point we have to realize that we don't have much
time left. Like again, their studies have shown that if
I wish I could show you like I wish I
could put on the screen and maybe on the video
of Porsche, I'll be able to do that. But there
are these studies that show like how many months people
(24:27):
have left in our lives. I'm sure many people have
seen it, and it's very impactful because there's something powerful
about seeing how many months statistically, because they average like
the average life span of a person, so they put
that many from the age of like I think eighteen
or thirty. They have a couple of different ones, but
the one I saw recently was thirty, and they show
(24:48):
you how many months you have left in this world,
and I just imagine that, and I think that's again
such a powerful tool because when you can see that
this is how many months you have left and how
many you're wasting, and with something like three hundred and
sixty two months are waste sleeping, and how many you
are wasting, it should drive something in us to refuse,
(25:09):
to remain the things that we don't deserve, to refuse
in the places that to refuse to stay in the
places that seem like they're good but are terrible for us.
So as we develop this one big thing happens, we
tend to cut ties with people. Like the healed version
(25:30):
of you doesn't stay in the same group of friends. Now,
maybe not all right. There are times where there's two
or three people that you've known so guilty in your life,
You've been so close. But I need you to understand
that if the people who are around you are people
that are causing you problems, that are causing you to
be in situations should and be that are influencing you
in ways that you should not be influenced. The more
(25:51):
you realize what you deserve the less the more you
realize that they don't belong there. And we hurt a
lot because we don't realize that it's all okay to
grieve friendships, like it's okay to understand that not everyone
is going into the next stages of their life. This
is the part of adulthood that people don't really prepare for.
That they don't realize that not everyone that you've called
(26:11):
friend is actually a friend, not everyone that you've called
an acquaintance that's actually something. A lot of our mothers
said that those little friends of yours, they're not your friends, right.
A lot of people that benefit or benefited from a
verse version of you. So the moment that you begin
to progress and to change it, to grow, those people
refuse to stay because you, who you are, who you
(26:34):
deserve to be, doesn't match what they need you for
was convenient to them. There are a lot of people
that won't go into these chapters. And it's okay to
love people in the places that they were. It's okay
to love them in the memories of who they were.
It's okay to look at the past and say, man,
this was a beautiful time in my life and not
(26:54):
need to stay there. There are some people that as
you realize what you deserve, you will realize that you
don't deserve to have them. You won't deserve to be
around them. And this is in everything right. This is
never type of relationship, but friendship is a big one
because we don't ever talk about the reality that our
(27:16):
growth affects at even the person that you used to be. Sometimes,
as we grow into what we deserve, that person dies
and it hurts, because let's be real, this is a
person you've known forever. You've known you, and you've known
your habits, you've known your patterns. But even then those
(27:38):
things change, and you're gonna fall in love so much
deeper with this next stage of you, with this next
person of you. What you deserve is in everything. It's
in your work, it's in your love, it's in yourself,
it's in your family, it's it's in the things you do,
the things you enjoy. And being able to finally step
(28:00):
up and step into what you actually deserve is going
to change everything. But I want to be clear, I
never want again justify it and say that it's it's
easy and that you're just gonna wake up and done.
Life is perfect. It's not. It's not. Let's just be real,
it's not. But there's this death that happens in us.
(28:23):
This is this part of us that has to die,
and there's a part of us that that's fighting to
stay alive because it doesn't want to die. It's just
part of us that has to go and be in
the place that it used to be, has to remain
in the past. And you're going to go through growing pains.
You're going through grow through through these hardships of changing
and of seeing things shift, and it does hurt, it does,
(28:45):
and then you have to learn to grieve you. It's
okay to grieve your past and to love the person
you're becoming. It's okay to remember that this is what
you used to be, like you used to do, but
know that that's not who you are now and not
what deserves now. Know that that that moment you lie
in your life was good, it was beautiful, but it
(29:05):
isn't what you deserve. It isn't who you deserve. You
are becoming this version of you that is undeniable. The
best version of you will be the undeniable. You have
to become so good that they can't deny you, that
you can't deny you. And this is how you live
and what you deserve. And just this one takeaway, last
(29:27):
takeaway here before we wrap up this episode. You have
to remind yourself daily, like daily, like daily, this is
who I am, and this is what I deserve. When
things pop up, when things go crazy, when things go
out ala I feel and they don't make sense. This
is who I am and this is what I deserve.
(29:48):
One Monterra, I've been living by myself. Is I can,
I must, I will. Not because I'm better than anyone else,
not because I know more, not because i'm more too,
not because I have a bigger following, not because my
voice reaches more than not because of those things, but
because I know that I can, I know that I must,
I know that I will. It's because it's what I deserve.
It's because who I am, This is what I deserve.
(30:11):
You deserve the best version of you. You deserve the
fullness of you, not partial, the partiality, not convenient or convenience,
but just who you are, fully, completely and unadulterated. So
thank you again for just sure continued support. And this
(30:32):
podcast has been so amazing because it's just been one
way for me to connect with people express my heart.
And I'm actually excited that we're bringing people on. If
you haven't noticed, at least once a month there is
a podcast with another person. It's very hard to have
a weekly podcast with like a different person every week.
That's wild. It's really hard to maintain. But we are
(30:54):
on the row, in the in the roll to get
people in once a month, and of course Michael Dura
has our network and I love I love my culture.
I love being Dominican. I love being able to connect
and to bring all these people, and I love that
we're able to have our our Latin roots just celebrated.
So the next couple of episodes, I think, yeah, well
(31:16):
this one will come up before that the one are
going to be some amazing people. We have some people
that worked with big organizations like Nike. We have people
who are in the music like literally the Warner Group
music industry. We have people who are emerging artists that
are going to be traveling around the world, and just
people who I admire, who I've seen amazing resilience do
(31:38):
and who have amazing stories. So I'm excited to just
share those things. Oh we had Blue, an amazing comedian
up and coming right. All these amazing people that are there,
so I'm excited to share their stories with us, with
you and just be able to unpack what it means
to be resilient and to be to growl through their mountains.
So thank you for your support, thank you for downloading
the podcast, thank you for sharing it, thank you for
those five stars, thank you just thank you just for
(32:01):
being here. Uh, and I look forward to these next
couple of episodes. So thank you for being present, and
we'll see you on the next one.
I realize one day that I deserve so much better
than what I've been set for. Like that's what everything
that's with relationships, that's with romantic or platonic, that's with
family members, that's with my career, that's literally with everything
in my life. I realize one day that I've just
been kind of going with the flow, like I've just
kind of been letting life happen to me and not
for me. Thatn't say, And I think that becomes so
(00:20):
easy to live under what you deserve because you think
that you're just getting what you're gonna get. And this
comes like even deeper with like personal efforts in my life,
Like there's things that I'm still working on. Of course,
there's things that I'm still growing on because I know
I deserve them. I know that I have to do
the work to get there. I can't just anticipate that
it's just gonna happen. But there has to be this
point of just realizing that you deserve so much more.
(00:44):
You don't deserve the breadcrumbs, you don't deserve the bare minimum.
We don't deserve the things that have just been given
to you to keep you along. For a lot of
people we stay stuck in that because it's so hard
to realize it. It's so hard to sit back and realize, Man,
it's not just that I deserve, it is I deserve
to give it to myself. This is made for this
mountain with Josh Rosa or we're turning pain into purpose.
(01:06):
You deserve more than just the breadcrumbs that keep you
satisfied but never full. Like we fail to change our
environment because we've become so used to the thought of
maybe if we just show up more of, we do
more of, we just give more effort that one day
it's going to be reciprocated and you trying harder has
never made someone or something appreciate you more, like you
(01:27):
giving yourself even deeper and even more into that particular thing.
While it might seem good, it's never made it love
you more. It's never made it appreciate you more. Why
because they didn't appreciate it from the beginning. They were
just conveniently taking what you were giving. It was easy
to just receive than it was to ever change something.
And what happens often is that we see the breadcrumbs
and we try to imagine what the cake would be like.
(01:48):
We see that the bare minimum, and we think that
there is going to be so much more and so
much bigger and so much greater. You deserve so much.
You deserve more than just a little. And it's heartbreaking
to see this because we stay this, We stay in
this in so many things. Yes, relationships, right, that's the
easiest fold for us to look at that. It's just
(02:08):
the easiest thing because there's so many people that struggle
through relationships. They're staying those things. They know that it's
killing them. But even in your career, even in your dream,
even in the thing you've done, you deserve more. And
it's become this rt this rat race in this world
where we have just given up on ourselves like this,
this is what kills me. This is what breaks my
(02:30):
heart to most. This is this is the thing that
makes me like literally hurt tiving these conversations with people.
Because we have become okay with just being in rooms,
not being the attention of the room, not even not
even in the room itself. We have become okay with
just being at the door. We want to get invited
to the door, and the reality is that that doesn't matter,
(02:51):
like you being outside or being around it. It would
never mean anything if you don't realize how much you
deserve and are willing to do things to move yourself,
to change your perspective, just to be there. I get it.
This might sound like I'm beating a dead horse. I
feel like this is something so many people understand and
say and lift through, but I don't think it's something
(03:12):
that people actually implement. And the reason that I believe
that we don't implement the understanding that we deserve more
in life. In general, this is a mountain for a
lot of people is because of that factor. We think
that just enough is good enough. We think that if
we are just receiving breadcrumbs that eventually the cake will
be around, or even worse, that we don't deserve the
full cake. We think that we wouldn't be able to
(03:33):
handle it, that it wouldn't be good enough, that we're
not good enough for it, that we have to be
something different. You deserve fullness. You don't deserve partiality. You
don't deserve convenience, you don't deserve time. You deserve the
complete fullness of it. And when you begin to settle
and be okay with mediocrity, when you begin to be
okay and settle for just a bare minimum. When you
begin to be okay with settling for things that you
(03:55):
know are going to rob you of your time and
your piece, you will be telling those things that it's
okay to treat you that way, and worse worse than
just telling them, and those things that those careers, those people,
those places, though even worse than all of that. The
worst part of all this is that you then begin
to say this about yourself. You then begin to produce
this in you. And this is what ends up happening
(04:16):
in so many people that they create this dichotomy between
what they deserve, who they are, and what they're getting.
I need you to understand, and I feel like that's
my slogan. I'm gonna put that on a shirt. But
it kills me because we begin to make ourselves our
own biggest enemy. Like there's a study that happened, and
in the study says that every human has about twelve
(04:37):
thousand to eighty thousand thoughts in a day. So this
is the average twelve thousand to eighty thousand thoughts, and
statistically speaking, in within those averages, eighty percent of those
thoughts are negative. Eighty percent of the thoughts that you're having.
So let's just say you had one hundred thoughts today.
That means eighty of those thoughts that you had, whether
you're aware of it or not, are negative. We are
(05:00):
more likely to downplay ourselves than we are to lift
ourselves up. And this is actually something I had this week.
I had a conversation. I was at this event with
celebrating latinos and culture and industries and all these things
that we're in And the reality is that this was
a theme that you could literally sow through the entire
(05:21):
the setting, the entire thing. I started the first talk
of the event, right, I gave that first talk, and
I gave a podcast thing that I'm going to share
a little bit later after this episode. I actually believe
it was the next episode. But the theme that we
consistently saw through and through was a constant realization of
what we deserve, like this wake up moment, like this
(05:41):
moment where it's just like, oh, I deserve this, Like
I deserve to be in these rooms. I deserve to
be celebrated in these places. I deserve more. I don't
deserve the bare minimum, don't deserve the breakups. I don't
deserve to be in those places that aren't good for me.
We tend to live in what we think we deserve.
(06:01):
And it ourd to ask you today, what do you deserve?
Whatever you thought, that's what you deserve, whether you believe
or you don't believe, that's what you deserve, because you've
made it so that you have to settle for it.
You've convinced yourself that that's all you're going to have,
and that's all you ever be, so you know what,
that's all you're going to get. We live in a
culture that has taught us that we just have to
(06:24):
fit into certain places, and I get it. I'm not
saying that by any means it's easy for everyone. There
are very few people that do what I do that
are fortunate enough enough to do what I do. But
doesn't mean that I don't deserve. It doesn't mean that
I don't show up. Because the one thing I will say,
and I do say this before we jump into our
first commercial here, which are always really quick by the way,
(06:46):
I thank you for listening through and thank you for
listening to those commercials and just to spend the time
with us here, because that's what pays for this well,
actually your downloads and your extremes is shares, But sorry,
tangent forgot I had to do that. Back to this reality,
there are people in this world that are significantly more
talented than you are, and there are people in this
world who are not even close to as talented as
(07:08):
you are. Both of them might believe that they deserve
what they're getting. They might believe they deserve to be
in places they're supposed to be, and they are. But
the one that kills me, the one that should kill us,
should make us feel like, ah, I should be better,
is the one that is not as talented as you are.
There are people with a third of your talenting, living
the life that you desire, living the dream that you desire,
(07:32):
a third of your gifting, and they're doing things that
you would only dream of doing, not because they're better
than you, but because they believe they deserve more. And
we'll talk about this right after this real quick commercial break.
There's a shift that happens in you when you realize
that you deserve more and deserve better. And I don't
want to call it attachment, but it's more of a
long lines of alignment. When you understand that you are
(07:55):
not getting what you deserve. You tend to disconnect from
certain things, whether it's peace, people, whether it's career paths,
whether it's situations, whether it's things that you constantly fall
back into. When you have this like awakening of what
I deserve, it just like disconnects from everything else. You
realize that the things that you are wasting time in
(08:16):
and I use that word very clearly wasting time and
are the things that are going to rob you of
the life that you deserve to live. At some point
we have to make a decision are we going to
stay in these places or are we actually going to
detach ourselves enough to align to the things we deserve.
There's a moment that we all bypass. Right there's just
(08:37):
this I guess acknowledgment of where we are right now.
Like again, I don't know where you're listening from. I
don't know what stage of your life you're in. I
don't know what you're feeling, what you're like. But I
do believe that firmly believe that we all have these
moments where we sit back and think, Man, what am
I doing? Like? Am I living the life I need
(08:58):
to live? Am I doing the thing I need to do,
and my feeling the way I need to feel? And
am I the best version of me? And I don't
mean the most perfect right the happy is. I don't
mean like you have to have everything figured out or
that everything that you do is just perfect and you
wake up and you don't even have to brush your
teeth somehow because this smells great? I mean, are you fruitful?
(09:18):
And I think this is what hurts us most. That
we are are creatures of creation, So we are called
to create, we're called to make where we're called to
do different things. And when when the life we live
is not creating, it's not bearing fruit, then we feel
the most miserable, that we feel the most hurt, that
we feel the most lost. And the answer to that,
it's actually very easy, but it's also very hard to do,
(09:38):
is understanding that the life you're called to live is
a life of alignment. It's a life that is producing
something out of it that you are creating. Whatever your
gifting or your craft is, or your talent or your time,
whatever that thing that naturally draws to you, that's the
thing that you were called to produce in. That's the
thing that you were called to show, to sew in
(09:59):
it to growing through. And what happens is that when
we're outside of that, we always feel miserable. We don't
realize that we're not living in what we deserve. When
when this moment happens, when this is uh, we don't
call it awakening, but when this awareness comes to be,
we stop entertaining people and things that don't serve us.
Like we stop to those friendships that are just drawing us,
(10:23):
drawing from our energy and just just robbing us of it.
We stop those communications, those relationships with people that we
know isn't going anywhere. We stop these situations where we're
not doing anything possible, because again it's not bringing fruit,
it's not doing anything good. So I about to ask
you right now, and again obviously you can't really answer you,
but I mean, welcome to email me or go to
(10:44):
madre monivate dot com and a little box and share
it with me. But if I were to ask you
right now, do you feel like you're living the life
you deserve or are you in the mountain of being
disconnected from that? I think a lot of us would
ender the ladder because a life we deserve is also
(11:04):
a life of continued work like it doesn't mean okay,
alignment where you want to be, does not mean that
life instantly becomes easier. It doesn't mean that you have
no serve, no work, no effort, no time that comes
behind this, because there has to be a level of
(11:27):
structure and a level of effort that goes. There is
no person in this world that is happy when they
don't have to work. And I know that sounds redundant.
I know for a lot of us, our dream is
to just not have to have a job and just
pay our bills and travel the world and those amazing things,
and that sounds fun and all, But there is something
that happens when there is no challenge to a human
Like when you don't actually have something that's challenging you,
(11:49):
that's pushing you, you're more likely to be depressed. The
most depressed people in this world, statistically speaking, are the
people that don't want to they'll have purpose, but are
the people that have no actual obligation. This is why
you see it so often like Hollywood, like some of
the most wealthiest and well known and all these people,
if they're not really working, if they just came into wealth,
if it just came into this money. Typically they're the
(12:11):
most oppressed because there is nothing tying them to purpose.
They're not behind on anything. They're just casually living life
and it sounds great and it's all. But there has
to be some type of friction in our life because
that's the most human thing. This is our natural thing. Again,
where creatures of creation, but we're also creatures of work.
(12:32):
In fact, I'm not gonna get too deep here, but
the first command in the garden was Abo Daan and
Shamar to cultivate and to grow. That we were created
to create, We were created to grow. We were created
to cultivate, to work. There's something special about that. And
this is tied in perfectly because when you realize what
you deserve, you stop working for the things you don't deserve.
You start working into the things you do deserve. You
(12:53):
start growing through that thing that starts being the catalysts.
That's what pushes you further. We stop letting people who
should not have value or power in our lives continue
to have that. We stop allowing that to happen. There
has to be a moment, there has to be a
(13:14):
push where you allow yourself to live in what you deserve.
And I know that there's like wounds that tie into this, right,
because sometimes we've lived lives where our family members have
been the reasons that we feel like we're worthless, and
we feel like we don't have value, that we don't
have self worth, that we don't have all these things.
And in fact, actually I was just as a driving here.
(13:36):
I was listening to a study specifically on attachment styles.
And of course there are a bunch of unique attachment styles,
but the most common one that we see often that
we see problems with their avoidant attachment styles. And in
this study, they were talking about how the reason that
a lot of people are avoidant has to do with
their family members has to do with the love that
(13:58):
they receive when they were kids. So not to get
too deep in this, but has to do with the
level of affection that they received. If the parents who
were raising the kids were more affectionate, if they were
more present, if they hugged them longer literally and didn't
have these gaps of coldness in between, or didn't move away,
(14:19):
then the type of love that the kid would develop
would be secure, secure attachment, and they would be able
to trust in that love because they knew it was
their consistent and full They felt the emotional connection there.
It wasn't just like a partiality that I love you
today not tomorrow, or I trew to this way today
not tomorrow. There was no on and off. It was
a consistent thing. So the level of affection that they
(14:42):
received would be the level of affection that they would
be able to be comfortable with when they become adults.
If there was discrepancy there and they would tie this
into all their relationships, they would be overbearing, they would
be overtexting, they would be concerned in their own head
thinking that the would be the end of it because
of something insignificant. There is this reality where we produce
(15:05):
that and sometimes it's not your fault. Sometimes you have
been raised into something that literally has nothing to do
with you. And this is where again therapy is a huge,
huge bonus. But it's also the reality that we have
to tell ourselves that these things aren't true, that they're
not our reality, that eighty percent right of us thinking
that things are negative, being able to address and identify
(15:25):
those things to say, listen, this is not a reality.
So there are things that's like a long winded way
of saying there are things that are already your hands.
There are things that have happened in the past, and
I don't want to vindicate that too much because I
don't I'm not a firm believer that we have to
only adhere to our past, that we're defined by those things.
(15:46):
I do think they pay a role. I do think
that they're important to understand, but I don't think that
they're everything. I don't think that they are the crux
of everything we do. We need to be able to
identify those things, whatever that is. It's again things that
are out of our hands and out of our control,
or things that we've allowed to continue. But the moment
(16:07):
that we wake up and realize what we deserve, we
stop the attachment to these other things. It's remembering that
compassion doesn't mean slavery. Like you can you can understand
and sympathize with something or someone and still understand that
you can't remain there. A lot of us aren't slaves
to to our choices. We're slaves to our stupidity. We
(16:29):
don't we give this this thing thinking that oh, well,
I'm loyal. No, you're not loyal. You're just giving into
that stupidity. You're giving into that slave mindset where you
think that you have to stay here just because you're
This is what loyalty is. Loyalty is not killing you
and hurting you. Loyalty is not making you feel like
you're a waste or on deserving of something. That's not loyalty.
You've committed to something, sure, but it's not a good commitment.
(16:51):
That's not loyalty, slavery and we have to make a
decision at some point, Am I going to stay in
something because I feel like I owe it to anything?
And then maybe even to challenge that what do you
owe it? What do you owe them? What have you
not repaid? It's not fair to you to stay in
(17:13):
something just because you think that you owe them something,
or just because you think that the longer you remain
in it, the better it's going to become, or that
their life is so rough and you sympathize with this
so that they only have you and that they need you.
You're not. You're not it's not your job. You're not
(17:34):
You're not Jesus. You're You're not here to save them.
You're not Superman. Your job is not to save them.
There is no relationship that we deal with, whether romantic
or a family member or friendship. And I get this
one because I know it's it's painful, especially when it
comes to family members that we think that we have
to over show and be bigger and brand and greater
(17:57):
just because they're going through so much. I understand the
sympathy comput of this, and I don't want to sound insensitive,
because I don't. I'm not. But there's a point where
we need to realize that it's not our role or
our job to fix them. It's not our role or
our job to save them, and no matter what we do,
(18:19):
we would never will. It's not it's impossible for you
to make someone understand and see what they need to
I don't want you to think it's easy, and I
speak from personal experience on what I'm telling you. It's
not an easy thing to do. But sometimes we make
our sympathy our slavery. There are some friendships, romantic relationships,
(18:42):
careers that you understand their struggle and falsely tie yourself
to it, like you know what they're going through and
what they're feeling, so you think that you have to
show up for them in that moment and it's beautiful
that you want to show up for them, But what
is it called I'll see you? So looking into what
(19:03):
we deserve and how to really identify that. And I
think this is a big takeaway here, other than obviously
addressing the things that are at the core of it all,
addressing those main issues, there's things that we deserve in
our lives that we don't allow to flourish because we're
hiding it behind other things. So example, I'd hate to
(19:26):
use this example, but I think it's again little bearing
fruit relationships. There are some relationships that you know are
not fruitful for you, that you know are not good
for you, that you know you shouldn't be in. And again,
I'm not saying it's easy. I never wanted to want
to hear this and say, oh, but you could just
say it's easy to say and to do. I get it.
It's not. I'm not saying it's not hard to do.
I am saying, however, that you have to choose the
pain of the struggle. Either there's hard to do or
(19:47):
hard to stay in forever. You're either going to struggle
right now or you're going to struggle for the long
term struggle. You're going to struggle now and then relationships
are sometimes the easiest things to talk about because we
all go through it. But realizing that there's certain people
that do not serve or bear fruit in our lives.
So if we continue to allow them to remain, will
continue to make sure that we stay in this pain.
(20:11):
And if you have made every effort, if you've made
it clear and you're still where you are where you are,
that you need to realize that there is nothing that
you can change. We'll talk about the rest of this
after this quick commercial break. The biggest lie you will
ever tell yourself is that you can change them like
(20:33):
that you can come into this mess and make them
finally see what you're worth it, that you are going
to love them so deeply that they're going to one
day realize, man, we'll look at this person, Look how
great they are. That you are going to sit here
and it be as amazing as you already are, and
they're going to realize what you deserve, or that you're
going to threaten them by walking away and saying, well,
if you don't pick me, I'm going to I'm gonna
(20:54):
pick me and leave, but then not really leave. So
what you just taught them is that they can use
you and continue to say all these things because you're
not going anywhere. You said that you were going to
do this, You set that boundary and you stayed. So
what you have just taught them is that they have
complete power over you. The biggest lie you will ever
say to yourself is that they will one day wake
up and be what they haven't been. That they will
(21:17):
one day wake up and realize that you deserve more.
And all you're going to do is break your own
heart trying to prove to them who you actually are.
The only thing you can ever do here is leave,
walk away from the thing that does not love you,
and serve you back. At the end of the day,
we'll continue to stay in this circle, in this where
(21:37):
thinking that it's okay when we talk about deserving things.
And this is why again I just picked relationships because
it's so easy. But we can shape that very easily
to ourselves, Like you can picture that with you. Why
don't you do the things you want to do because
you don't believe yourself because you have set boundaries, or
if you've said things to yourself and what you've done
(21:58):
is that you haven't stayed with them. You haven't been
in them. So it's easy for you to say, but
you're not gonna do that. I don't believe you you're
staying there. I love to give challenges in these things,
and I feel like if at the very least there's
something that we can do to try to even break
this habit. And I've mentioned this before, but it's starting
the thing. It's starting anything small. Doing something literally that
(22:20):
you've promised yourself you were gonna do that allows us
to be able to push on and press into whatever
that looks like. There has to be a balance, right,
There has to be this reality of what we deserve
and the struggle of the things we're going through. And
why I say that because sometimes it's easy. Again, it's
(22:40):
easy to just say it's easy to say these things
and not now move on. But when we understand that, listen,
this is what's happened to me, this is where I'm at,
this is where I've lived, we can look at those
things and say, but this is not what I deserve
and start changing small things again. I'm going to be great.
It'd be amazing if you wake up tomorrow and you
just like fix all your problems and pick that thing
that will terrible for you and just like identify it
(23:02):
and change it completely. Amazing, that would be I would
love to hear your story. That's great for most of us.
That's very difficult for most of us. We are not
going to change everything at that magnitude that quickly for
most of us, who are going to pick the small
thing and start there, realizing that you deserve so much more.
This mountain of what you deserve is going to continue
(23:23):
to be prevalent. It's going to continue to be there,
and we can't go around it. I mean, we could
go around it, but it would still be the mountains
we could only conquer. We could only go over it,
because that's actually a perfect analogy. Going around something like
this will take you forever. You'd be stuck in the
(23:43):
same place, looking at the same thing, constantly thinking that
you're making progress. But the reality is that so far
and so long that you are going to continue to
go until it doesn't even matter anymore, because life is over.
We can only face this thing with the quickest route
through it is over it. The only way that we'll
ever be able to conquer these things is to go
(24:05):
through the mountain to go over it, and at some
point we have to realize that we don't have much
time left. Like again, their studies have shown that if
I wish I could show you like I wish I
could put on the screen and maybe on the video
of Porsche, I'll be able to do that. But there
are these studies that show like how many months people
(24:27):
have left in our lives. I'm sure many people have
seen it, and it's very impactful because there's something powerful
about seeing how many months statistically, because they average like
the average life span of a person, so they put
that many from the age of like I think eighteen
or thirty. They have a couple of different ones, but
the one I saw recently was thirty, and they show
(24:48):
you how many months you have left in this world,
and I just imagine that, and I think that's again
such a powerful tool because when you can see that
this is how many months you have left and how
many you're wasting, and with something like three hundred and
sixty two months are waste sleeping, and how many you
are wasting, it should drive something in us to refuse,
(25:09):
to remain the things that we don't deserve, to refuse
in the places that to refuse to stay in the
places that seem like they're good but are terrible for us.
So as we develop this one big thing happens, we
tend to cut ties with people. Like the healed version
(25:30):
of you doesn't stay in the same group of friends. Now,
maybe not all right. There are times where there's two
or three people that you've known so guilty in your life,
You've been so close. But I need you to understand
that if the people who are around you are people
that are causing you problems, that are causing you to
be in situations should and be that are influencing you
in ways that you should not be influenced. The more
(25:51):
you realize what you deserve the less the more you
realize that they don't belong there. And we hurt a
lot because we don't realize that it's all okay to
grieve friendships, like it's okay to understand that not everyone
is going into the next stages of their life. This
is the part of adulthood that people don't really prepare for.
That they don't realize that not everyone that you've called
(26:11):
friend is actually a friend, not everyone that you've called
an acquaintance that's actually something. A lot of our mothers
said that those little friends of yours, they're not your friends, right.
A lot of people that benefit or benefited from a
verse version of you. So the moment that you begin
to progress and to change it, to grow, those people
refuse to stay because you, who you are, who you
(26:34):
deserve to be, doesn't match what they need you for
was convenient to them. There are a lot of people
that won't go into these chapters. And it's okay to
love people in the places that they were. It's okay
to love them in the memories of who they were.
It's okay to look at the past and say, man,
this was a beautiful time in my life and not
(26:54):
need to stay there. There are some people that as
you realize what you deserve, you will realize that you
don't deserve to have them. You won't deserve to be
around them. And this is in everything right. This is
never type of relationship, but friendship is a big one
because we don't ever talk about the reality that our
(27:16):
growth affects at even the person that you used to be. Sometimes,
as we grow into what we deserve, that person dies
and it hurts, because let's be real, this is a
person you've known forever. You've known you, and you've known
your habits, you've known your patterns. But even then those
(27:38):
things change, and you're gonna fall in love so much
deeper with this next stage of you, with this next
person of you. What you deserve is in everything. It's
in your work, it's in your love, it's in yourself,
it's in your family, it's it's in the things you do,
the things you enjoy. And being able to finally step
(28:00):
up and step into what you actually deserve is going
to change everything. But I want to be clear, I
never want again justify it and say that it's it's
easy and that you're just gonna wake up and done.
Life is perfect. It's not. It's not. Let's just be real,
it's not. But there's this death that happens in us.
(28:23):
This is this part of us that has to die,
and there's a part of us that that's fighting to
stay alive because it doesn't want to die. It's just
part of us that has to go and be in
the place that it used to be, has to remain
in the past. And you're going to go through growing pains.
You're going through grow through through these hardships of changing
and of seeing things shift, and it does hurt, it does,
(28:45):
and then you have to learn to grieve you. It's
okay to grieve your past and to love the person
you're becoming. It's okay to remember that this is what
you used to be, like you used to do, but
know that that's not who you are now and not
what deserves now. Know that that that moment you lie
in your life was good, it was beautiful, but it
(29:05):
isn't what you deserve. It isn't who you deserve. You
are becoming this version of you that is undeniable. The
best version of you will be the undeniable. You have
to become so good that they can't deny you, that
you can't deny you. And this is how you live
and what you deserve. And just this one takeaway, last
(29:27):
takeaway here before we wrap up this episode. You have
to remind yourself daily, like daily, like daily, this is
who I am, and this is what I deserve. When
things pop up, when things go crazy, when things go
out ala I feel and they don't make sense. This
is who I am and this is what I deserve.
(29:48):
One Monterra, I've been living by myself. Is I can,
I must, I will. Not because I'm better than anyone else,
not because I know more, not because i'm more too,
not because I have a bigger following, not because my
voice reaches more than not because of those things, but
because I know that I can, I know that I must,
I know that I will. It's because it's what I deserve.
It's because who I am, This is what I deserve.
(30:11):
You deserve the best version of you. You deserve the
fullness of you, not partial, the partiality, not convenient or convenience,
but just who you are, fully, completely and unadulterated. So
thank you again for just sure continued support. And this
(30:32):
podcast has been so amazing because it's just been one
way for me to connect with people express my heart.
And I'm actually excited that we're bringing people on. If
you haven't noticed, at least once a month there is
a podcast with another person. It's very hard to have
a weekly podcast with like a different person every week.
That's wild. It's really hard to maintain. But we are
(30:54):
on the row, in the in the roll to get
people in once a month, and of course Michael Dura
has our network and I love I love my culture.
I love being Dominican. I love being able to connect
and to bring all these people, and I love that
we're able to have our our Latin roots just celebrated.
So the next couple of episodes, I think, yeah, well
(31:16):
this one will come up before that the one are
going to be some amazing people. We have some people
that worked with big organizations like Nike. We have people
who are in the music like literally the Warner Group
music industry. We have people who are emerging artists that
are going to be traveling around the world, and just
people who I admire, who I've seen amazing resilience do
(31:38):
and who have amazing stories. So I'm excited to just
share those things. Oh we had Blue, an amazing comedian
up and coming right. All these amazing people that are there,
so I'm excited to share their stories with us, with
you and just be able to unpack what it means
to be resilient and to be to growl through their mountains.
So thank you for your support, thank you for downloading
the podcast, thank you for sharing it, thank you for
those five stars, thank you just thank you just for
(32:01):
being here. Uh, and I look forward to these next
couple of episodes. So thank you for being present, and
we'll see you on the next one.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Ruthie's Table 4
For more than 30 years The River Cafe in London, has been the home-from-home of artists, architects, designers, actors, collectors, writers, activists, and politicians. Michael Caine, Glenn Close, JJ Abrams, Steve McQueen, Victoria and David Beckham, and Lily Allen, are just some of the people who love to call The River Cafe home. On River Cafe Table 4, Rogers sits down with her customers—who have become friends—to talk about food memories. Table 4 explores how food impacts every aspect of our lives. “Foods is politics, food is cultural, food is how you express love, food is about your heritage, it defines who you and who you want to be,” says Rogers. Each week, Rogers invites her guest to reminisce about family suppers and first dates, what they cook, how they eat when performing, the restaurants they choose, and what food they seek when they need comfort. And to punctuate each episode of Table 4, guests such as Ralph Fiennes, Emily Blunt, and Alfonso Cuarón, read their favourite recipe from one of the best-selling River Cafe cookbooks. Table 4 itself, is situated near The River Cafe’s open kitchen, close to the bright pink wood-fired oven and next to the glossy yellow pass, where Ruthie oversees the restaurant. You are invited to take a seat at this intimate table and join the conversation. For more information, recipes, and ingredients, go to https://shoptherivercafe.co.uk/ Web: https://rivercafe.co.uk/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/therivercafelondon/ Facebook: https://en-gb.facebook.com/therivercafelondon/ For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iheartradio app, apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com