May 1, 2024 • 31 mins
Minnie questions Gabby Reece, former Olympic volleyball player, sports announcer, fashion model, and podcast host. Gabby shares how she and her husband, surfer Laird Hamilton, balance each other out when it comes to fun and wonder, the people who stepped up in her childhood to help raise her, and how important it is to keep inventory of your relationships.
Hear more from Gabby on her podcast, The Gabby Reece Show.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
This constant fear of like what other people think. There's
no audience, Like who do you think is watching?
Speaker 2 (00:10):
If you really want to oversimplified, it's like we're not
hearing that long for real. Therese like just let's roll
even when it gets hard and bad. I agree with you,
and it's like, hey, listen, this is hard and bad.
And by the way, that's okay too, Like that's part.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
One hundred percent and it's going to pass like everything else,
like including our lives.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Yeah, hello, I'm mini driver.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
I've always loved Proust's questionnaire. It was originally in nineteenth
century parlor game where players would ask each other thirty
five questions aimed at revealing the other player's true nature.
In asking different people the same set of questions, you
can make observations about which truths appear to be universal.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
And it made me wonder, what if these questions were
just a jumping off point, what greater depths would be
revealed if I asked these questions as conversation starters. So
I adapted Pru's questionnai and I wrote my own seven
questions that I personally think are pertinent to a person's story.
They are when and where were you happiest? What is
the quality you like least about yourself? What relationship, real
(01:15):
or fictionalized, defines love for you? What question would you
most like answered, What person, place, or experience has shaped
you the most? What would be your last meal? And
can you tell me something in your life that's grown
out of a personal disaster?
Speaker 1 (01:31):
And I've gathered a group of really remarkable people, ones
that I am honored and humbled to have had the
chance to engage with.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
You may not hear their answers to all seven of
these questions. We've whittled it down to which questions felt
closest to their experience, or the most surprising, or created
the most fertile ground to connect. My guest today is
the athlete, podcaster, and wellness oracle Gabrielle Reese. Gabby is
(02:00):
an Olympian, which tells you right away a lot of
what she is made of. We live in the same
small beach community in California where she has these legendary
workout sessions that leave people stronger, fitter, having physically achieved
things they never.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Thought they could. I've never run into her and been
met with anything less than her wonderfully direct gaze, her
warmth and her presence. There aren't many people who I
really believe one hundred percent about health, wellness and fitness,
because there always seems to be some kind of Hollywood
snake oil attached to it. But Gabby Reese and her
husband Led Hamilton are the real deal. Gabby's been living
(02:37):
what she talks about on her podcast, The Gabby Reese
Show since she was a kid training for the Olympics.
This was such a great conversation where someone I'm deeply
inspired by and admire so greatly. So my first question
is where and when were you happiest?
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Where and when was I happiest? I think for me,
you know, I always joke about in a way there's
a part of me, a lot of me that's very
very simple, and this has happened multiple times when I'm
in bed and sort of the immediate circle everybody's okay.
I know that feeling right before I go to bed
of sort of feeling really good. You know, no girls
(03:20):
in an urgency, they're healthy, I sort of, they're tucked in.
Larry and I were in a dance like we're not
stepping on each other's toes. So I think for me,
that feeling of happiness that you talk about has really
shown up for me in that moment right before I
go to bed. And I would say, I'm a person
who doesn't really look at the past too much, so
(03:44):
I don't think it occurs to me. Oh, I was
really happy when I was playing volleyball, or of course
I enjoyed when my kids were babies. But I think
it's this idea of I also kind of look forward often.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
It's a function of also being like, quite literally and figuratively,
you guys lead an action packed life, and then there
is a huge amount of movement, both kind of where
you are geographically and like the things that make up
yours and lad's life, and I'm assuming you're girls too, Like,
do you think that that the notion of action is
kind of the stasis and then that piece calm, everybody's quiet,
(04:25):
everybody's tucked in, that the space for that is where
you can really sort of rest and feel centered.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Yeah, I think that really supports that mentality. I think,
you know, Lared heard a quote many years ago, never
let your accomplishments be greater than your dreams. And I
think both of us are sort of hardwired to go like, hey,
what's around the corner and listen. It's it's great. You
know this from your own experience to have had some
(04:54):
semblance of hey, good job, well done. I could figure
it out. I don't know how to I'm, you know,
approaching something I don't know how to do. I have
a body of evidence that I could probably try to
figure something out. Those things are nice that give you
that kind of confidence, but the hardwiring of that's not
in my control. I can't spend a lot of time there,
(05:15):
So why not create new experiences or fun or challenges
or things that will bring me satisfaction and purpose. I
feel like that's something that is hardwired in lair Night individually.
And then the fact that we're in this coupleton makes
it maybe a little easier.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
How long have you guys been together?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
We have been together for almost twenty nine years. We've
been married for almost twenty seven years. Wow, I know
I am way too young, way.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Too young to have been lit.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I just kid, you know, listen, And having said that,
that sounds like a grand number. I always joke laired
and I really almost got divorced to different times. You know,
it's been a really good last fifteen years layered you know,
stop drinking alcohol sixteen years ago. That really was really
good for the relationships. So I never want to sell
(06:09):
a bill of goods and like, yeah, it's just easy street.
But I also think in some ways we are we
have some things that make it easier to be together.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
So interesting. I think when your happiness is wrapped up
with another human of how the parameters of that change
and the stuff that becomes non negotiable about Yes, we
always go I have to look to myself to kind
of change to evolve in a relationship, but there are
certain hard and fast things that you go, this is
no longer working, and it's kind of like evolve or die.
(06:40):
And I think it's amazing to be able to stay
in that version of happiness with someone that accommodates sort
of radical evolution and radical self knowledge to support kind
of the organism of a family. Like it's it's a
proper commitment.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
It is. And maybe one thing I do buy into
coming from sports is there is good hard and I
don't believe in making myself my life unnecessarily hard. I
don't like to do that. I like to actually make
things easy, but I do seek out good, hard, hard
(07:20):
that I know goes to another level and not shying
away from it. But at the end end of the day,
it is still on each of us as individuals, like
there's just no way around it. Like I could have
the greatest partner who pushes me, you know, maybe I
get some courage from laired to be kind of certain
(07:40):
parts of my personality that I wouldn't, you know, even
for my children. It's like it's on me to figure
out what's going to make me feel good. And Byron
Katie said to me once something one time years ago.
She said, you know, if you want to change your environment,
change yourself, And I thought, yeah, it's such a such
a constant truth. And it's so hard because.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
You think I can visit them, I know, because it's
so much that I need to see somebody else's shit
than it is to see you or to offer up
advice on how for them to fix it. The exo
stuff is so much easier than the internal journey. And
yet that's why we've got to do it. What is
(08:26):
the quality you like least about yourself?
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Jeez, I think I'm not looking for fun and that
sort of that's not great. I know, Lair looks at
me on the side of his head so many days
because he really is looking for fun, like the real fun.
They'll like out in nature, you know, be in the moment,
have the wind blowing, just like the good fun. And
I'm sort of like, yeah, I'm looking for work and order,
(08:53):
and maybe that's my version of trying to have some
kind of control. I get a deep sense of fulfillment
from Oh, okay, goal task completion. I love all that. Like,
if you want to visit with me and talk, I
can be funny and fun, but I'm not personally looking
for like big fun, and I think that's a really
(09:14):
important part of being human being.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I really like that observation. No one's ever answered that,
but it's sort of I think it makes for quite
a good compliment with someone like Lad who is essentially
Puck in the Shakespearean sense of just the mischief maker,
the seeker of the fun and the naughtiness and the
loves to get in trouble just to see how he
can get out of it, Like Puck kind of needs
(09:40):
to be with Eel. Yeah, someone who's taking it a
little bit more seriously.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Yeah, And it's funny because obviously at my age, I
have really learned like it's hard to get me to react.
I don't get aggravated. But as far as like, you know,
do you want to go get you know, in trouble,
I'm sort of like, yeah, I'll be ready at like seven,
you guys when to get back. And maybe I intuitively
chose Lair because I enjoy it through him. I know
(10:06):
it's important, so I have a splash of it in
my life, even if it's not all coming through me.
I'll give you an example. I went to this gentleman
named Peter Evans, and he said, you know you don't
have wonder, and you know you have to get back
to your bliss right, And I thought, I don't even
know what the hell you're talking about. Like when he
said that word bliss, when I see people that are
(10:28):
like freely floating and like in my bliss, I thought,
I don't know that I've ever experienced that. And I
am very open minded. But when you talked about wonder,
when you see a small child and everything is in wonder,
I'm assessing, who's that, what's this? What does that mean?
Versus wonder? And so that would be another kind of
(10:50):
bolt on adjunct to this fun component that I really
think I could do better.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Have you ever actively gone and created your version of
wonder and fun and what does that look like?
Speaker 2 (11:03):
No, because I don't think it's something you can fake, right,
It's the way that the world hits you. So my
version of that is I'm just gonna see, I'm gonna look,
I'm not going to think, I know, I'm just gonna
take it in. And so that has been the practice
for me that has come out of that.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
That sounds incredibly fun to be actively present. What question
would you most like answered?
Speaker 2 (11:41):
I guess it's not unique. You know, you go through
this life, and especially during this time when it's really
wild and contentious, it's like when you see the lopsidedness
of all the beauty and the injustice, I guess I
would like to understand why that has to coexist. And
I know bright light dark shadow, and you can't have
(12:03):
light without dark, but I guess sometimes when you see
such extreme I would love to understand is that the
only way is that the only way that the one
beauty and the magic can exist is with the sort
of other side. I always look at that and think, man,
that's a lot of suffering for some of this other stuff.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
I often wonder if it is I mean, I use
the word God just some other force. Is that God made,
force made? Or is that man made? Like I think
about that often, Like you sort of see it in nature.
You see the ostensible rawness, but there doesn't seem to
be a rage behind it. You see that it's balanced
(12:47):
the light and dark in nature, which is what makes
me feel that we have a hand and just test savage.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
But is that our lesson? Right? Is that we have
to go through that to tame the beast within ourselves?
I don't It's so complex, right, you go, man, what
is the real lesson? What is the real purpose of that? Because,
like you said, in nature, it feels very straightforward. It
doesn't feel personal, and it's freaking brutal at the same time.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Yeah, maybe that's it. It doesn't feel personal. It feels
like it's part of a rhythm that has always existed,
whereas ours feels a lot more manufactured. And you're right,
it's like, could we ever evolve from that? I wonder, like,
is it possible for us to evolve beyond the savagery?
I suppose of the way in which we whether it's
(13:35):
treat each other or treat ourselves. I don't know. That's
a good one. That's actually a really good one. I
think about AI as well, and going is that part
of the lure of that is this idea that you
could fashion and create a program that doesn't have the
kind of awfulness that is part of being human.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
I asked this gentleman who runs the Harvard study once
it's a happiness study, right, and it's gone on for
I think seventy five years, And I said, you know, listen,
we've written books about it, and there's poems and movies
and songs, like we know the answers. What is it
about us that we just can't figure it out? And
he looked at me and he was like, oh, Gabby,
(14:17):
that's how we gained wisdom. And I thought, fair enough.
And so the AI think will be interesting because some
of the lessons that's what's so great about experience. You
can't hack it, you can't shortcut it. Right, It is
yours to possess, to own.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
It's certainly going to speed stuff up.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Oh hell yes, it is.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Thinking about what the gentleman at Harvard said of the
idea of getting wiser Is it just that we can't
see our evolution because for us, it's it's generational, Like
if you could look at it in a thousand years,
would you be able to see this bell curve that
we don't know that we're part of because we can't
see it yet.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Yeah, And the transitions are really really uncomfortable, and we
obviously clearly in a wild transition because you know, is
it a transition away from a biological into a hybrid.
It's so funny, I said the laird. Today. I vacillate
between I want to check out and just go live,
you know. But we're of the age that we're supposed
(15:18):
to be here and we're supposed to help, and we're
supposed to usher in the next group. We're supposed to
act like the adults. But then it's like, is the
information or wisdom we have almost useless because is it
moving away from biology towards a mashup with technology? So
that is sort of an interesting question. I still think,
(15:40):
because we're in our biology at this moment, that it's
really nice to consider it because I feel like when
we have a relationship with it, you feel better.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
I agree. I do think a lot about our carbon
based NICs becoming potentially obsolete, or as you said, a hybrids.
It just goes back to be what you said about
just be present. It's forward moving. It is always forward moving,
so we might as well be that way as well. Yeah,
(16:12):
what person, place, or experience most altered your life.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
I've had a few. I lived with a couple from
the age of two to seven. They recently, I actually
both passed away. They were a couple from Long Island,
New York, and they took care of me. And my
mother was a young mother in her early twenties. She
had sort of a far out. She was training dolphins
at a circus in Mexico and she met my father,
who's from Trinidad. I did not live with my parents,
(16:38):
so they were really pivotal, and I grew up in
the Caribbean. After that, I had some families that would
take me in even though I was living with my
mother at the time. I had a coach in college
that was really really instrumental and sort of talking about
personal accountability and help me. So I'd say I sort
of had these outside people, And what I learned from
(16:59):
all that was we think our parents, like, oh my
mom did or didn't do this, my dad did or
didn't do that. But sometimes we have people that didn't
have to step in and they do, and so we
got bonus even though we felt like we got chinched
on this one side. And so I think when I
got a little older, I was like, man, I had
some pretty stellar people who stepped in and really helped
(17:23):
me navigate and create a really wonderful life.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Do you think that by being able to acknowledge that
these people were incredibly generous and wonderful to step into
your life when perhaps they didn't necessarily have to in
the way that we think parents should, did that help
you let go of the hard things? So it became
a bonus. It became something that was actually light filled
(17:47):
as opposed to something that was dark and sad. And
the idea of living with someone other than your parents
at two to seven might like when you say that
to me, it sounds sad. But did you just manage
to reframe that later because there was a lot of
light in it.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Absolutely, and it's also maybe surrendering to maybe it was
better for me. Maybe my life has turned out better
even though there was a great deal of unknown and
my hypervigilance comes from not living with my parents. My
lack of fun, my lack of wonder comes from really
being bounced from the nest very early. But what I
(18:25):
came to a relationship with is Listen, I was out
of my house at seventeen and totally independent at eighteen.
I'm going to adult a lot longer than I was
a kid. So let's take a few hard, shitty years
for the opportunity to go like, oh wait, I have
tools that I can build a life. I don't like stuff,
I know how to change it. I have discipline, I
(18:45):
can plan, I can navigate, and that came from that childhood.
So it certainly took time. And I would also say
today I have the best relationship with my mother. I
completely accept and love and have no problem with her.
But I only seek out the relationship with her that
works for me. So I also have a brutality with
(19:08):
that being able to reframe. So I can reframe it
and I honor myself, and sometimes that's brutal.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Well, you have extraordinary clarity around the tenets of your story,
which perhaps is part of like again, what makes us
the most human is our ability to really examine what
our narratives are and to not ignore them or just
seek out the bits that we like and ignore the other,
but rather see the whole and then holistically move forward.
(19:36):
It's really hard to do. I think it requires a
kind of brutality, not brutal in the way that what
I see in the world right now, but I mean
clarified rather than brutal.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Well, because with that you can't blame anyone. You're not
a victim of your own story. And really, the more
people you meet, everybody's had a thing like I am
not a victim. But having said that, but I also
know how to ask for and put myself in situations
that work and make me feel good, and so those
can go part and parcel well.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
I mean also because you've clearly became an advocate for yourself,
really yeah, or maybe we're encouraged you as well by
your coach, like nobody can advocate for you better than you.
I don't know. I think a lot of people want
to be told what to do, and I mean that
in the nicest way. Like I set up an art
thing with a boyfriend when I was like nineteen, and
the art piece was just the folding table in Portobello
(20:31):
Market in London, and we just had a tent card
that said advice. We just put up a chair and
then we sat on two chairs and I was like,
I'm nineteen. I barely know how to tie my shoelaces.
I was like, how am I going to answer any questions?
And he was like, you just do the best you can,
because really most people want you to listen and offer
a little bit of advice. And that's exactly what happened.
(20:51):
Like we answer questions on infidelity and the people's mortgage rates,
whether or not they should move in with someone. It
was crazy. People really want someone else to tell them
what to do. So I think those moments of being
able to believe that you are your own advocate and
that you actually can give yourself good advice, I think
it's pretty rare, gabby to be able to do that,
(21:13):
and kind of amazing to have cultivated that.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
But you have to question yourself also at every moment. Again,
there lies another duality, which is if you're going to
be a good steward of your story, you better pay
attention and not think you're right. So it's this weird
fine line of leaning into this is the way to
(21:37):
go and keep paying attention keep questioning yourself, where is
this decision coming from? So I think it's also staying
awake the whole time. So you are steering the ship
at least hopefully more times than not, towards the light
or the right direction.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Yeah, to be aware of what it is to be
the captain of your ship. Yeah, what relationship, real or fictionalized,
(22:19):
defines love for you?
Speaker 2 (22:22):
That's an interesting question. I know this is probably not great.
I like to be surprised, but I don't want to
be surprised, so like I'm great with oh I didn't
see that coming, but I always sort of feel like
with love for me, and I really hope to be
this for somebody. Is I'm not really gonna surprise you.
(22:43):
It's not going to be like oh I thought she
was this, but.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Wow, she's that un steadiness yes, but not fixed right
and with allowance and movements.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
So it's sort of like this big bubble that kind
of bounces around and it won't break, but it can
kind of motion bend, But the inside of it is
there's something sort of like there's sort of a volume
that you understand and know. It's not a lot more
or less. So I try to be that and really
I don't need for it to be great or perfect
(23:15):
and I'm not looking for someone to save me. And
you're not gonna tell me anything where I'm gonna be
like ooh, that's bad. Just be congruent and I'm cool
with it. And I really want to be that and no, no,
tit for tat and one for one. If I do it,
I'm going to do it because I want you and
you owe me nothing. And if you do that for
(23:38):
me too, I would hope that that's the same.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Wow, it's very stoic. I really like that. It speaks
to like proper ancient stoicism, that notion of I will
do what I say. I will say what I do,
and that's what you can expect from me, and that
is what I would most appreciate from you. Would you
say that's probably having very clear boundaries around what it
is that you your expectation of a person or the
(24:03):
expectation of yourself.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Yeah. I think I'm much harder on myself than I
am on others. I think that I have learned, especially
through parenting and being in a long relationship. I can
barely control myself. But that's going to be the person
I'm the hardest on and I'm not going to be
that hard on you. That's on you, but just show
me the truth. Tell me the truth. And also I'm
going to keep moving. So the hope would be if
(24:28):
we're going to be in this relationship, whatever relationship that is,
with the exception of my children, you want to have
forward motion in your own version, and then we will
know each other. I'm not going to hang back because
I can't. Right, So, even if you're a movement side
to side or up and down, it's cool. That is
sort of like maybe we'll meet kind of thing. I
(24:48):
always tell my girlfriends it's perfectly healthy to ask yourself,
what do I get from this relationship, even if it's Hey,
Minnie is really bright and I like the way she
lives her life and with Laird, obviously, I'm trying to
to show up in service, but you can bet I
do some inventory being like, also when am I getting
because otherwise I don't know that that's honest.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Yeah, I agree, I do. I agree in that inventory particularly,
and I think that that does really help to find
love for me as well, is that everybody is sort
of taking responsibility for their own personal inventory within a relationship.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
My kids are the only ones. Like I always say,
there's only one group that I never go like, what
am I getting out of this? It's like, I'm your mom,
I'm going to be your mom. I'm going to be here.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
In your life. Can you tell me about something that
has grown out of a personal disaster.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Yeah, one of my daughters went through something when she
was thirteen. It's like the stuff you hope never occurs,
and you think, I'm going to have a peaceful house,
I'm going to be there, and sometimes you realize your
kids have a journey. And I really got flipped upside
down on it. You think, are we going to get
through this? Is she going to get through this? And
what came out of that was a real opportunity not
(26:04):
only for her and I to grow closer together, but
for me to change as a person, which was so
wildly uncomfortable. I mean, I wasn't that young. I was
in my forties. Anything could happen to me, and it
was not great. Even as a young kid. For me,
the hardest would be when something happens to one of
your kids. And so I could say that that certainly
(26:25):
was not only a wake up call, but I have
the opportunity to be a better or different person from
something that was excrucinatingly painful for her and for me.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
And were you conscious of taking those things that you
learned with you on and did she also do you
feel like take those lessons on with her?
Speaker 2 (26:47):
She absolutely did what I have learned as a parent,
and I know you can. Really you're not really telling
them anything, you're modeling. Nobody really tells you. We go
like this, oh okay, and we do exactly what we think.
That's what we do. And my girls are strong willed, imagine.
So I thought, I'm uncomfortable and I resent the fact
(27:09):
that I'm having to make a change because the tendency
is to be like, hey, I'm going to drop my
kid off, fix them, and I'll pick them back up
when they're fixed. And it's like yeah, no, no, no,
the whole group gets to make a change. I think
your kids really appreciate that you go, I don't know,
I'm fumbling through, but I'm going to try. That is
powerful for them. Not that you weren't.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Perfect, absolutely, not that you weren't perfect exactly, and amazing
to see that behavior like that will always be with
not only her, but I think probably with everyone else
in your family of going we went through this thing
and now we are on the other side of that,
and this is how it shaped us. And I think
it's amazing to be able to look back positively on
(27:50):
things that were extraordinarily hard.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
I remember clear as day going up into the bathroom
in my bedroom and I literally stood six inches from
the mirror and looked into one of my eyeballs and
I was like, you're gonna have to keep your shit
together right now, because the impulse was to go, Oh
my god, like I'm gonna follow apart and it was like, oh, yeah, no.
And I had a friend say to me, and I
know people can relate to this. We all get our
(28:14):
turn and our time in the chamber, and sometimes we're
gonna have to be there longer than when we want cool.
And I was like, oh shit, And that's the thing.
Sometimes we can't just fix it and solve it right you.
We're gonna have to go all the way through it
and we think we're out of it and then all
of a sudden you get pulled back in. So just
if anyone is going through anything like that, just keep
(28:37):
asking for the answers, and remember this, whatever we're going through,
if everyone's here, like you know, Layedi says, if there's
air going in and out of the nose in the face,
we can work it all out. Whatever it is, we
can work it out.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
And on that brilliant note, I just l's philosophy is
their going in and out of the pace. It's not over.
It's true.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
My oldest daughter, who is almost twenty nine, was like
going through something at nineteen and he's like, oh my god,
just make it to twenty five. And I thought, oh, yeah,
that's right.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Wow, that's amazing, it's really amazing. Is she ready twenty nine?
Speaker 2 (29:23):
I don't think you know that one. You know the
middle who's twenty and.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Okay, I didn't know you had an older daughter.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
Laird came with a He came with a four month old.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
So I became a step parent at twenty five. But see,
my experience with living with my aunt Or and uncle
Joe when I was little reminded me that love is love,
and so I didn't have to be her mom to
be another source of love, so that I had that
lesson early.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
That's exactly how it is for my son and my partner.
His name's Addison, and he we call him Daddison. They
have their own separate relationship that is amazing and a
source of great joy. It's funny that the notion of
convention can keep us shackled to things having to look
a certain way. And I think clearly empirically, so in
(30:13):
your own life, things didn't look the way that the
in quote should have looked. But you grew and you
got some incredible thing from those people.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Yeah, and you don't get on each other's genetic nerves.
Imagine that. Yeah, my daughter is so much like me.
I'm like, oh my god. So there's so many bonuses.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Oh, Gaby, thank you so much with all my heart.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Thanks.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Mini Mini Questions is hosted and written by Me Mini Driver,
Executive produced by me and Aaron Kaufman, with production support
from Jennifer Bassett, Zoey Denkler, and Ali Perry. That theme
music is also by Me and additional music by Aaron Kaufman.
(30:57):
Special thanks to Jim Nikolay, Addison, Henry Driver, Lisa Castella,
Anick Oppenheim, a, Nick Muller, and Annette Wolfe, a w kPr,
Will Pearson, Nikki Ittor Morgan Lavoy and mangesh A ticke
Adore
This constant fear of like what other people think. There's
no audience, Like who do you think is watching?
Speaker 2 (00:10):
If you really want to oversimplified, it's like we're not
hearing that long for real. Therese like just let's roll
even when it gets hard and bad. I agree with you,
and it's like, hey, listen, this is hard and bad.
And by the way, that's okay too, Like that's part.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
One hundred percent and it's going to pass like everything else,
like including our lives.
Speaker 3 (00:29):
Yeah, hello, I'm mini driver.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
I've always loved Proust's questionnaire. It was originally in nineteenth
century parlor game where players would ask each other thirty
five questions aimed at revealing the other player's true nature.
In asking different people the same set of questions, you
can make observations about which truths appear to be universal.
Speaker 3 (00:52):
And it made me wonder, what if these questions were
just a jumping off point, what greater depths would be
revealed if I asked these questions as conversation starters. So
I adapted Pru's questionnai and I wrote my own seven
questions that I personally think are pertinent to a person's story.
They are when and where were you happiest? What is
the quality you like least about yourself? What relationship, real
(01:15):
or fictionalized, defines love for you? What question would you
most like answered, What person, place, or experience has shaped
you the most? What would be your last meal? And
can you tell me something in your life that's grown
out of a personal disaster?
Speaker 1 (01:31):
And I've gathered a group of really remarkable people, ones
that I am honored and humbled to have had the
chance to engage with.
Speaker 3 (01:39):
You may not hear their answers to all seven of
these questions. We've whittled it down to which questions felt
closest to their experience, or the most surprising, or created
the most fertile ground to connect. My guest today is
the athlete, podcaster, and wellness oracle Gabrielle Reese. Gabby is
(02:00):
an Olympian, which tells you right away a lot of
what she is made of. We live in the same
small beach community in California where she has these legendary
workout sessions that leave people stronger, fitter, having physically achieved
things they never.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Thought they could. I've never run into her and been
met with anything less than her wonderfully direct gaze, her
warmth and her presence. There aren't many people who I
really believe one hundred percent about health, wellness and fitness,
because there always seems to be some kind of Hollywood
snake oil attached to it. But Gabby Reese and her
husband Led Hamilton are the real deal. Gabby's been living
(02:37):
what she talks about on her podcast, The Gabby Reese
Show since she was a kid training for the Olympics.
This was such a great conversation where someone I'm deeply
inspired by and admire so greatly. So my first question
is where and when were you happiest?
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Where and when was I happiest? I think for me,
you know, I always joke about in a way there's
a part of me, a lot of me that's very
very simple, and this has happened multiple times when I'm
in bed and sort of the immediate circle everybody's okay.
I know that feeling right before I go to bed
of sort of feeling really good. You know, no girls
(03:20):
in an urgency, they're healthy, I sort of, they're tucked in.
Larry and I were in a dance like we're not
stepping on each other's toes. So I think for me,
that feeling of happiness that you talk about has really
shown up for me in that moment right before I
go to bed. And I would say, I'm a person
who doesn't really look at the past too much, so
(03:44):
I don't think it occurs to me. Oh, I was
really happy when I was playing volleyball, or of course
I enjoyed when my kids were babies. But I think
it's this idea of I also kind of look forward often.
Speaker 1 (04:00):
It's a function of also being like, quite literally and figuratively,
you guys lead an action packed life, and then there
is a huge amount of movement, both kind of where
you are geographically and like the things that make up
yours and lad's life, and I'm assuming you're girls too, Like,
do you think that that the notion of action is
kind of the stasis and then that piece calm, everybody's quiet,
(04:25):
everybody's tucked in, that the space for that is where
you can really sort of rest and feel centered.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Yeah, I think that really supports that mentality. I think,
you know, Lared heard a quote many years ago, never
let your accomplishments be greater than your dreams. And I
think both of us are sort of hardwired to go like, hey,
what's around the corner and listen. It's it's great. You
know this from your own experience to have had some
(04:54):
semblance of hey, good job, well done. I could figure
it out. I don't know how to I'm, you know,
approaching something I don't know how to do. I have
a body of evidence that I could probably try to
figure something out. Those things are nice that give you
that kind of confidence, but the hardwiring of that's not
in my control. I can't spend a lot of time there,
(05:15):
So why not create new experiences or fun or challenges
or things that will bring me satisfaction and purpose. I
feel like that's something that is hardwired in lair Night individually.
And then the fact that we're in this coupleton makes
it maybe a little easier.
Speaker 1 (05:32):
How long have you guys been together?
Speaker 2 (05:33):
We have been together for almost twenty nine years. We've
been married for almost twenty seven years. Wow, I know
I am way too young, way.
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Too young to have been lit.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I just kid, you know, listen, And having said that,
that sounds like a grand number. I always joke laired
and I really almost got divorced to different times. You know,
it's been a really good last fifteen years layered you know,
stop drinking alcohol sixteen years ago. That really was really
good for the relationships. So I never want to sell
(06:09):
a bill of goods and like, yeah, it's just easy street.
But I also think in some ways we are we
have some things that make it easier to be together.
Speaker 1 (06:20):
So interesting. I think when your happiness is wrapped up
with another human of how the parameters of that change
and the stuff that becomes non negotiable about Yes, we
always go I have to look to myself to kind
of change to evolve in a relationship, but there are
certain hard and fast things that you go, this is
no longer working, and it's kind of like evolve or die.
(06:40):
And I think it's amazing to be able to stay
in that version of happiness with someone that accommodates sort
of radical evolution and radical self knowledge to support kind
of the organism of a family. Like it's it's a
proper commitment.
Speaker 2 (06:58):
It is. And maybe one thing I do buy into
coming from sports is there is good hard and I
don't believe in making myself my life unnecessarily hard. I
don't like to do that. I like to actually make
things easy, but I do seek out good, hard, hard
(07:20):
that I know goes to another level and not shying
away from it. But at the end end of the day,
it is still on each of us as individuals, like
there's just no way around it. Like I could have
the greatest partner who pushes me, you know, maybe I
get some courage from laired to be kind of certain
(07:40):
parts of my personality that I wouldn't, you know, even
for my children. It's like it's on me to figure
out what's going to make me feel good. And Byron
Katie said to me once something one time years ago.
She said, you know, if you want to change your environment,
change yourself, And I thought, yeah, it's such a such
a constant truth. And it's so hard because.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
You think I can visit them, I know, because it's
so much that I need to see somebody else's shit
than it is to see you or to offer up
advice on how for them to fix it. The exo
stuff is so much easier than the internal journey. And
yet that's why we've got to do it. What is
(08:26):
the quality you like least about yourself?
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Jeez, I think I'm not looking for fun and that
sort of that's not great. I know, Lair looks at
me on the side of his head so many days
because he really is looking for fun, like the real fun.
They'll like out in nature, you know, be in the moment,
have the wind blowing, just like the good fun. And
I'm sort of like, yeah, I'm looking for work and order,
(08:53):
and maybe that's my version of trying to have some
kind of control. I get a deep sense of fulfillment
from Oh, okay, goal task completion. I love all that. Like,
if you want to visit with me and talk, I
can be funny and fun, but I'm not personally looking
for like big fun, and I think that's a really
(09:14):
important part of being human being.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
I really like that observation. No one's ever answered that,
but it's sort of I think it makes for quite
a good compliment with someone like Lad who is essentially
Puck in the Shakespearean sense of just the mischief maker,
the seeker of the fun and the naughtiness and the
loves to get in trouble just to see how he
can get out of it, Like Puck kind of needs
(09:40):
to be with Eel. Yeah, someone who's taking it a
little bit more seriously.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
Yeah, And it's funny because obviously at my age, I
have really learned like it's hard to get me to react.
I don't get aggravated. But as far as like, you know,
do you want to go get you know, in trouble,
I'm sort of like, yeah, I'll be ready at like seven,
you guys when to get back. And maybe I intuitively
chose Lair because I enjoy it through him. I know
(10:06):
it's important, so I have a splash of it in
my life, even if it's not all coming through me.
I'll give you an example. I went to this gentleman
named Peter Evans, and he said, you know you don't
have wonder, and you know you have to get back
to your bliss right, And I thought, I don't even
know what the hell you're talking about. Like when he
said that word bliss, when I see people that are
(10:28):
like freely floating and like in my bliss, I thought,
I don't know that I've ever experienced that. And I
am very open minded. But when you talked about wonder,
when you see a small child and everything is in wonder,
I'm assessing, who's that, what's this? What does that mean?
Versus wonder? And so that would be another kind of
(10:50):
bolt on adjunct to this fun component that I really
think I could do better.
Speaker 1 (10:57):
Have you ever actively gone and created your version of
wonder and fun and what does that look like?
Speaker 2 (11:03):
No, because I don't think it's something you can fake, right,
It's the way that the world hits you. So my
version of that is I'm just gonna see, I'm gonna look,
I'm not going to think, I know, I'm just gonna
take it in. And so that has been the practice
for me that has come out of that.
Speaker 1 (11:20):
That sounds incredibly fun to be actively present. What question
would you most like answered?
Speaker 2 (11:41):
I guess it's not unique. You know, you go through
this life, and especially during this time when it's really
wild and contentious, it's like when you see the lopsidedness
of all the beauty and the injustice, I guess I
would like to understand why that has to coexist. And
I know bright light dark shadow, and you can't have
(12:03):
light without dark, but I guess sometimes when you see
such extreme I would love to understand is that the
only way is that the only way that the one
beauty and the magic can exist is with the sort
of other side. I always look at that and think, man,
that's a lot of suffering for some of this other stuff.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
I often wonder if it is I mean, I use
the word God just some other force. Is that God made,
force made? Or is that man made? Like I think
about that often, Like you sort of see it in nature.
You see the ostensible rawness, but there doesn't seem to
be a rage behind it. You see that it's balanced
(12:47):
the light and dark in nature, which is what makes
me feel that we have a hand and just test savage.
Speaker 2 (12:51):
But is that our lesson? Right? Is that we have
to go through that to tame the beast within ourselves?
I don't It's so complex, right, you go, man, what
is the real lesson? What is the real purpose of that? Because,
like you said, in nature, it feels very straightforward. It
doesn't feel personal, and it's freaking brutal at the same time.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Yeah, maybe that's it. It doesn't feel personal. It feels
like it's part of a rhythm that has always existed,
whereas ours feels a lot more manufactured. And you're right,
it's like, could we ever evolve from that? I wonder, like,
is it possible for us to evolve beyond the savagery?
I suppose of the way in which we whether it's
(13:35):
treat each other or treat ourselves. I don't know. That's
a good one. That's actually a really good one. I
think about AI as well, and going is that part
of the lure of that is this idea that you
could fashion and create a program that doesn't have the
kind of awfulness that is part of being human.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
I asked this gentleman who runs the Harvard study once
it's a happiness study, right, and it's gone on for
I think seventy five years, And I said, you know, listen,
we've written books about it, and there's poems and movies
and songs, like we know the answers. What is it
about us that we just can't figure it out? And
he looked at me and he was like, oh, Gabby,
(14:17):
that's how we gained wisdom. And I thought, fair enough.
And so the AI think will be interesting because some
of the lessons that's what's so great about experience. You
can't hack it, you can't shortcut it. Right, It is
yours to possess, to own.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
It's certainly going to speed stuff up.
Speaker 2 (14:33):
Oh hell yes, it is.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Thinking about what the gentleman at Harvard said of the
idea of getting wiser Is it just that we can't
see our evolution because for us, it's it's generational, Like
if you could look at it in a thousand years,
would you be able to see this bell curve that
we don't know that we're part of because we can't
see it yet.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Yeah, And the transitions are really really uncomfortable, and we
obviously clearly in a wild transition because you know, is
it a transition away from a biological into a hybrid.
It's so funny, I said the laird. Today. I vacillate
between I want to check out and just go live,
you know. But we're of the age that we're supposed
(15:18):
to be here and we're supposed to help, and we're
supposed to usher in the next group. We're supposed to
act like the adults. But then it's like, is the
information or wisdom we have almost useless because is it
moving away from biology towards a mashup with technology? So
that is sort of an interesting question. I still think,
(15:40):
because we're in our biology at this moment, that it's
really nice to consider it because I feel like when
we have a relationship with it, you feel better.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
I agree. I do think a lot about our carbon
based NICs becoming potentially obsolete, or as you said, a hybrids.
It just goes back to be what you said about
just be present. It's forward moving. It is always forward moving,
so we might as well be that way as well. Yeah,
(16:12):
what person, place, or experience most altered your life.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
I've had a few. I lived with a couple from
the age of two to seven. They recently, I actually
both passed away. They were a couple from Long Island,
New York, and they took care of me. And my
mother was a young mother in her early twenties. She
had sort of a far out. She was training dolphins
at a circus in Mexico and she met my father,
who's from Trinidad. I did not live with my parents,
(16:38):
so they were really pivotal, and I grew up in
the Caribbean. After that, I had some families that would
take me in even though I was living with my
mother at the time. I had a coach in college
that was really really instrumental and sort of talking about
personal accountability and help me. So I'd say I sort
of had these outside people, And what I learned from
(16:59):
all that was we think our parents, like, oh my
mom did or didn't do this, my dad did or
didn't do that. But sometimes we have people that didn't
have to step in and they do, and so we
got bonus even though we felt like we got chinched
on this one side. And so I think when I
got a little older, I was like, man, I had
some pretty stellar people who stepped in and really helped
(17:23):
me navigate and create a really wonderful life.
Speaker 1 (17:27):
Do you think that by being able to acknowledge that
these people were incredibly generous and wonderful to step into
your life when perhaps they didn't necessarily have to in
the way that we think parents should, did that help
you let go of the hard things? So it became
a bonus. It became something that was actually light filled
(17:47):
as opposed to something that was dark and sad. And
the idea of living with someone other than your parents
at two to seven might like when you say that
to me, it sounds sad. But did you just manage
to reframe that later because there was a lot of
light in it.
Speaker 2 (18:01):
Absolutely, and it's also maybe surrendering to maybe it was
better for me. Maybe my life has turned out better
even though there was a great deal of unknown and
my hypervigilance comes from not living with my parents. My
lack of fun, my lack of wonder comes from really
being bounced from the nest very early. But what I
(18:25):
came to a relationship with is Listen, I was out
of my house at seventeen and totally independent at eighteen.
I'm going to adult a lot longer than I was
a kid. So let's take a few hard, shitty years
for the opportunity to go like, oh wait, I have
tools that I can build a life. I don't like stuff,
I know how to change it. I have discipline, I
(18:45):
can plan, I can navigate, and that came from that childhood.
So it certainly took time. And I would also say
today I have the best relationship with my mother. I
completely accept and love and have no problem with her.
But I only seek out the relationship with her that
works for me. So I also have a brutality with
(19:08):
that being able to reframe. So I can reframe it
and I honor myself, and sometimes that's brutal.
Speaker 1 (19:16):
Well, you have extraordinary clarity around the tenets of your story,
which perhaps is part of like again, what makes us
the most human is our ability to really examine what
our narratives are and to not ignore them or just
seek out the bits that we like and ignore the other,
but rather see the whole and then holistically move forward.
(19:36):
It's really hard to do. I think it requires a
kind of brutality, not brutal in the way that what
I see in the world right now, but I mean
clarified rather than brutal.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Well, because with that you can't blame anyone. You're not
a victim of your own story. And really, the more
people you meet, everybody's had a thing like I am
not a victim. But having said that, but I also
know how to ask for and put myself in situations
that work and make me feel good, and so those
can go part and parcel well.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
I mean also because you've clearly became an advocate for yourself,
really yeah, or maybe we're encouraged you as well by
your coach, like nobody can advocate for you better than you.
I don't know. I think a lot of people want
to be told what to do, and I mean that
in the nicest way. Like I set up an art
thing with a boyfriend when I was like nineteen, and
the art piece was just the folding table in Portobello
(20:31):
Market in London, and we just had a tent card
that said advice. We just put up a chair and
then we sat on two chairs and I was like,
I'm nineteen. I barely know how to tie my shoelaces.
I was like, how am I going to answer any questions?
And he was like, you just do the best you can,
because really most people want you to listen and offer
a little bit of advice. And that's exactly what happened.
(20:51):
Like we answer questions on infidelity and the people's mortgage rates,
whether or not they should move in with someone. It
was crazy. People really want someone else to tell them
what to do. So I think those moments of being
able to believe that you are your own advocate and
that you actually can give yourself good advice, I think
it's pretty rare, gabby to be able to do that,
(21:13):
and kind of amazing to have cultivated that.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
But you have to question yourself also at every moment. Again,
there lies another duality, which is if you're going to
be a good steward of your story, you better pay
attention and not think you're right. So it's this weird
fine line of leaning into this is the way to
(21:37):
go and keep paying attention keep questioning yourself, where is
this decision coming from? So I think it's also staying
awake the whole time. So you are steering the ship
at least hopefully more times than not, towards the light
or the right direction.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Yeah, to be aware of what it is to be
the captain of your ship. Yeah, what relationship, real or fictionalized,
(22:19):
defines love for you?
Speaker 2 (22:22):
That's an interesting question. I know this is probably not great.
I like to be surprised, but I don't want to
be surprised, so like I'm great with oh I didn't
see that coming, but I always sort of feel like
with love for me, and I really hope to be
this for somebody. Is I'm not really gonna surprise you.
(22:43):
It's not going to be like oh I thought she
was this, but.
Speaker 1 (22:46):
Wow, she's that un steadiness yes, but not fixed right
and with allowance and movements.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
So it's sort of like this big bubble that kind
of bounces around and it won't break, but it can
kind of motion bend, But the inside of it is
there's something sort of like there's sort of a volume
that you understand and know. It's not a lot more
or less. So I try to be that and really
I don't need for it to be great or perfect
(23:15):
and I'm not looking for someone to save me. And
you're not gonna tell me anything where I'm gonna be
like ooh, that's bad. Just be congruent and I'm cool
with it. And I really want to be that and no, no,
tit for tat and one for one. If I do it,
I'm going to do it because I want you and
you owe me nothing. And if you do that for
(23:38):
me too, I would hope that that's the same.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
Wow, it's very stoic. I really like that. It speaks
to like proper ancient stoicism, that notion of I will
do what I say. I will say what I do,
and that's what you can expect from me, and that
is what I would most appreciate from you. Would you
say that's probably having very clear boundaries around what it
is that you your expectation of a person or the
(24:03):
expectation of yourself.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Yeah. I think I'm much harder on myself than I
am on others. I think that I have learned, especially
through parenting and being in a long relationship. I can
barely control myself. But that's going to be the person
I'm the hardest on and I'm not going to be
that hard on you. That's on you, but just show
me the truth. Tell me the truth. And also I'm
going to keep moving. So the hope would be if
(24:28):
we're going to be in this relationship, whatever relationship that is,
with the exception of my children, you want to have
forward motion in your own version, and then we will
know each other. I'm not going to hang back because
I can't. Right, So, even if you're a movement side
to side or up and down, it's cool. That is
sort of like maybe we'll meet kind of thing. I
(24:48):
always tell my girlfriends it's perfectly healthy to ask yourself,
what do I get from this relationship, even if it's Hey,
Minnie is really bright and I like the way she
lives her life and with Laird, obviously, I'm trying to
to show up in service, but you can bet I
do some inventory being like, also when am I getting
because otherwise I don't know that that's honest.
Speaker 1 (25:10):
Yeah, I agree, I do. I agree in that inventory particularly,
and I think that that does really help to find
love for me as well, is that everybody is sort
of taking responsibility for their own personal inventory within a relationship.
Speaker 2 (25:22):
My kids are the only ones. Like I always say,
there's only one group that I never go like, what
am I getting out of this? It's like, I'm your mom,
I'm going to be your mom. I'm going to be here.
Speaker 1 (25:37):
In your life. Can you tell me about something that
has grown out of a personal disaster.
Speaker 2 (25:43):
Yeah, one of my daughters went through something when she
was thirteen. It's like the stuff you hope never occurs,
and you think, I'm going to have a peaceful house,
I'm going to be there, and sometimes you realize your
kids have a journey. And I really got flipped upside
down on it. You think, are we going to get
through this? Is she going to get through this? And
what came out of that was a real opportunity not
(26:04):
only for her and I to grow closer together, but
for me to change as a person, which was so
wildly uncomfortable. I mean, I wasn't that young. I was
in my forties. Anything could happen to me, and it
was not great. Even as a young kid. For me,
the hardest would be when something happens to one of
your kids. And so I could say that that certainly
(26:25):
was not only a wake up call, but I have
the opportunity to be a better or different person from
something that was excrucinatingly painful for her and for me.
Speaker 1 (26:38):
And were you conscious of taking those things that you
learned with you on and did she also do you
feel like take those lessons on with her?
Speaker 2 (26:47):
She absolutely did what I have learned as a parent,
and I know you can. Really you're not really telling
them anything, you're modeling. Nobody really tells you. We go
like this, oh okay, and we do exactly what we think.
That's what we do. And my girls are strong willed, imagine.
So I thought, I'm uncomfortable and I resent the fact
(27:09):
that I'm having to make a change because the tendency
is to be like, hey, I'm going to drop my
kid off, fix them, and I'll pick them back up
when they're fixed. And it's like yeah, no, no, no,
the whole group gets to make a change. I think
your kids really appreciate that you go, I don't know,
I'm fumbling through, but I'm going to try. That is
powerful for them. Not that you weren't.
Speaker 1 (27:29):
Perfect, absolutely, not that you weren't perfect exactly, and amazing
to see that behavior like that will always be with
not only her, but I think probably with everyone else
in your family of going we went through this thing
and now we are on the other side of that,
and this is how it shaped us. And I think
it's amazing to be able to look back positively on
(27:50):
things that were extraordinarily hard.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
I remember clear as day going up into the bathroom
in my bedroom and I literally stood six inches from
the mirror and looked into one of my eyeballs and
I was like, you're gonna have to keep your shit
together right now, because the impulse was to go, Oh
my god, like I'm gonna follow apart and it was like, oh, yeah, no.
And I had a friend say to me, and I
know people can relate to this. We all get our
(28:14):
turn and our time in the chamber, and sometimes we're
gonna have to be there longer than when we want cool.
And I was like, oh shit, And that's the thing.
Sometimes we can't just fix it and solve it right you.
We're gonna have to go all the way through it
and we think we're out of it and then all
of a sudden you get pulled back in. So just
if anyone is going through anything like that, just keep
(28:37):
asking for the answers, and remember this, whatever we're going through,
if everyone's here, like you know, Layedi says, if there's
air going in and out of the nose in the face,
we can work it all out. Whatever it is, we
can work it out.
Speaker 1 (28:55):
And on that brilliant note, I just l's philosophy is
their going in and out of the pace. It's not over.
It's true.
Speaker 2 (29:06):
My oldest daughter, who is almost twenty nine, was like
going through something at nineteen and he's like, oh my god,
just make it to twenty five. And I thought, oh, yeah,
that's right.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
Wow, that's amazing, it's really amazing. Is she ready twenty nine?
Speaker 2 (29:23):
I don't think you know that one. You know the
middle who's twenty and.
Speaker 1 (29:27):
Okay, I didn't know you had an older daughter.
Speaker 2 (29:30):
Laird came with a He came with a four month old.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (29:35):
So I became a step parent at twenty five. But see,
my experience with living with my aunt Or and uncle
Joe when I was little reminded me that love is love,
and so I didn't have to be her mom to
be another source of love, so that I had that
lesson early.
Speaker 1 (29:50):
That's exactly how it is for my son and my partner.
His name's Addison, and he we call him Daddison. They
have their own separate relationship that is amazing and a
source of great joy. It's funny that the notion of
convention can keep us shackled to things having to look
a certain way. And I think clearly empirically, so in
(30:13):
your own life, things didn't look the way that the
in quote should have looked. But you grew and you
got some incredible thing from those people.
Speaker 2 (30:21):
Yeah, and you don't get on each other's genetic nerves.
Imagine that. Yeah, my daughter is so much like me.
I'm like, oh my god. So there's so many bonuses.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
Oh, Gaby, thank you so much with all my heart.
Speaker 2 (30:35):
Thanks.
Speaker 1 (30:36):
Mini Mini Questions is hosted and written by Me Mini Driver,
Executive produced by me and Aaron Kaufman, with production support
from Jennifer Bassett, Zoey Denkler, and Ali Perry. That theme
music is also by Me and additional music by Aaron Kaufman.
(30:57):
Special thanks to Jim Nikolay, Addison, Henry Driver, Lisa Castella,
Anick Oppenheim, a, Nick Muller, and Annette Wolfe, a w kPr,
Will Pearson, Nikki Ittor Morgan Lavoy and mangesh A ticke
Adore
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