All Episodes

September 14, 2024 13 mins

OUTWEIGH: In this next episode of the Outweigh Q&A series, we’re tackling your questions around the challenges of learning to love what you see in the mirror, especially in a world full of magazine-perfect images that make it hard not to compare. We’ll explore how to find value beyond appearance, weight, and diet—because you’re so much more than just what you see on the surface. If you find yourself liking your reflection some days but tearing yourself down on others, we’re here to help you shift that narrative. It’s time to build a lasting sense of self-worth that isn’t tied to your looks and learn to truly appreciate the person staring back at you.

HOSTS:

Amy Brown // RadioAmy.com // @RadioAmy

Leanne Ellington // StresslessEating.com // @leanneellington


To learn more about re-wiring your brain to heal from the all-or-nothing diet mentality for good....but WITHOUT restricting yourself, punishing your body, (and definitely WITHOUT ever having to use words like macros, low-carb, or calorie burn) check out Leanne's FREE Stressless Eating Webinar @ www.StresslessEating.com

Resources Mentioned: 

Do You Know Your True Value and Worth? (Part 1)

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark as Played
Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I won't let my body out be outwait everything that
I'm made done, won't spend my life trying to change.
I'm learning to love who I am again. I'm strong,
I feel free, I know every part of me. It's
beautiful and then will always out way if you feel

(00:24):
it with your hands, and there she'll some love to
the view. Why get there?

Speaker 2 (00:28):
Take you one day?

Speaker 1 (00:30):
Anata? Did you and die out way?

Speaker 2 (00:35):
Happy Saturday? Outweigh Amy here and Leanne and I are
doing part three of a Q and A series and
today we're focusing on finding value outside of what we
look like when we weigh the three questions that were
sent in how do you learn to love what you
see and not compare yourself to those in magazines?

Speaker 1 (00:57):
Which it could be.

Speaker 2 (00:58):
Magazines, Instagram, depending on your age or who's sent in
that question. I'm of a generation of like I still
love magazines, yeah, but for younger people it could be TikTok.
How to find value outside of things like?

Speaker 1 (01:14):
How do we do that?

Speaker 2 (01:15):
They wrote, if how I look way, feel what I eat? Like?
Finding value outside of that? And then the next person said,
I look in the mirror in some days I like
what I see and most days I break myself down
with the three question slash comments from the outwigh Q
and A that I put up on Instagram and lean,

(01:36):
let's start with comparison itis.

Speaker 1 (01:39):
Yeah, what do they say? Comparison is the thief of joy? Right?
And it is? You know, And here's the thing. Our brains.
We talked about this before too. Our brains are wired
to compare, right, Like do I like that red color
paint on the wall? Who paints their walls red? But anyways?
Do I like blue better? Right? Do I like that
movie better? Or do I like this movie better? We
are wired to compare, right, and so can be a tool.

(02:02):
It is a tool, right, But what happens is is
when it becomes a weapon against ourselves. Right. And so
here's the reality. It's not we're wired also to care
what other people think about us, right. We are actually
wired to care. So it's not like, oh I don't care,
I'm just going to ignore what other people think about me.
We're wired to care. But what happens is is that
when we really carve out our own self worth. And

(02:22):
this is a process, right, So this is not just
a one and done. I'm sharing the kind of big
picture overview of this. But just keep in mind this
is obviously simple, not easy, and it does require you
know doing the work. But when you carve out and
you know what your identity and where your self worth
is rooted, independent of just what you look like or
what the other people look like on Instagram or whatever wherever,

(02:43):
your kind of current value system is about how you're
weighing and measuring your own worth. When you get rooted
in a currency, so to speak, that defines who you
are independent of those things. It's not that other people's
opinions or they're how they're showing up on Instagram won't matter.
It just won't make a difference in how you perceive yourself,
So the comparison will no longer become this weapon against yourself.

(03:04):
It can just be like an acknowledgement of like, oh,
that person is doing X, and I'm you know, over
here doing why. But neither one is good, bad, right, wrong,
neither one is cool or not cool right, So it
really is just about the goggles that you're seeing yourself through.
Amy and I actually did a five part series back
in October called Do You Know Your True Value and Worth?

(03:25):
So we go a lot narrower and deeper into all
of today's topic on that five part series because it's
it's five different topics. But in general, you know, comparison
when it comes to how do you learn to love
what you see and not compare yourself to those in
magazines or whatever. But then also the next the same
thing for the next question, how do I find value
outside of how I look, way, what I eat, all

(03:47):
of that. So part of it is, like I said
a second ago, like you've got to, in my opinion,
really carve out your own measuring sticks, your own self
worth currency that's independent of those things. So it's not
that these those things won't matter, it's just they won't
make a difference in how you show up or you'll
have other things. So there's something called reciprocal inhibition. So

(04:07):
for example, if I flex my bicep, because of reciprocal inhibition,
my tri sep past the stretch, it's going to shut off, right.
So part of it is it's that when you're valuating
yourself on other things that really are again like an
internal measuring stick, because you're focusing on those things by
default or by extension, those other things that you're using

(04:27):
to weigh and measure, going to have less and less
weight on your brain. Right, So that's one side of it.
And then when you know it comes to comparison, it
can be a tool or a weapon. But also I
think there is a misconception, or at least in my
experiences about like people when it comes to the body trajectory. Right,
I think people think they're going to go from I

(04:49):
hate my body or I'm ashamed of my body to
oh my gosh, I love my body. And I think
that that's a false goal in my opinion, I think
it sets us up for failure because what happens is
we skip through the just accepting our body. So there's
you know, from going from I hate my body too
I love my body. That is a massive shift. But
what if we want to going from I hate my
body to okay, my body is just neutral and like

(05:12):
some days I actually don't like it, like get yourself
permission to be like, you know what, right now, I
don't love that my knee hurts, or I don't love
that my jeans are a little bit tight, Right, I
don't actually like it, but I refuse to take myself
down a rabbit hole. So one of the things that
we do is something that annoys us, disturbs us, makes
us annoyed or whatever, and then we add judgment and
shame or the wood it should have coulda is on
top of it. And then we add suffering on top

(05:33):
of the suck. Right, So what if it's like, Okay,
I don't have to love. What if you give yourself
permission not to be elated and love your body as
the first step? Like that can be an onward trajectory, right,
But the first step is just to be in acceptance,
and then people confuse that with resigning to it, right, Like, no,
you're allowed to want to go be healthier and fitter
and all the things that you want to be that

(05:54):
we're not making those goals wrong, right, But part of
it is like accepting where you are right now without
the shame, without the blame, without the guilt, without the
comparison itis. I believe that that's the first step, and
that might actually bring you a lot of relief because
I think a lot of women think like, oh my gosh,
I'm supposed to love. The alternative to hating my body
is immediately loving my body. And it's like, no, give

(06:15):
yourself that grace to let it be a trajectory where
the first kind of like goalposts is like just accepting
that this is my body right now. And hey, some
days I don't it's not roses and butterflies, but like,
this is my body right now, and I refuse to
take myself down a rabbit hole of shame because the
sooner I can accept that this is my body right now,
the sooner I can actually go work towards optimal health

(06:37):
and changing what needs to be changed if I need to,
like you know, change some habits or get some help
with my mental emotional say all the things. But I
think acceptance is really like the antidote to all of
that is the first step.

Speaker 2 (06:50):
I think that also opens up space for you to
now spend that time that you would spend comparing yourself
or picking apart your body. You can now dedicate that
time to what do you value outside of this and
value your relationships with your family, your kids, your friends,
your partner experiences, memories, all of those things that you

(07:14):
miss out on, all of that connection you miss out
on when your main focus is comparing yourself to others
and not valuing your body and picking it apart all
the time. When you have that acceptance, you free up
space and then you can assess what you value and
then that's how you find it outside of that and
you start to exercise that muscle cultivate those relationships.

Speaker 1 (07:39):
It's like a garden.

Speaker 2 (07:40):
You have to tend to it. Like you can't throw
some dirt down and be like, Okay, yeah, now I'm
going to have this garden full of veggies that I'm
going to come pick from. No, it takes work and planning, and.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
That's what you have to do.

Speaker 2 (07:53):
You need to work and plan out what do you
value and then plan your investment into that. So now
with that time you now have freed up, what are
you going to do to create memories with your kids?
What are you going to do to experiences with your partner?
And maybe that's a date night at a restaurant you
would normally not allow yourself to eat at, or a

(08:16):
movie night in with pizza, but you never would want
pizza night, and your kids are begging for pizza night,
but you've been anti pizza night because you know you're
valuing your weight your looks over a fun night with
your kids.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
Such great examples, it's like, what are you weighing and
what are you measuring and is it actually bringing you joy?
Because what you really want is the joy, right, like
you just said, like I really value time with my kids,
or I really value, you know, connection with others. But
what I'm actually my brain is thinking I value is X,
y or z, right, And so part of it is
like becoming a wake to what you are weighing and measuring,

(08:52):
and that in itself, like you said, then it's going
to free up so much mental energy to go spend
it in the ways that you really want to. So
it really is I hate to always say it's all
about awareness, you know, but it always just starts without
awareness and kind of bringing yourself back. And the same
thing with the last question, which I know we touch
on a lot of Like I look in the mirror
in some days I like what I see. In most
days I break myself down. Well again, coming back to

(09:14):
what if it was just about acceptance. What if it
wasn't about like, oh my gosh, you're the most beautiful
thing in the world, and like the kind of fake
positivity that we hear a lot about. What if it
was just about like, Okay, this is my body right now,
this is what I weigh, this is what my arms
look like, and like just literally moving through acceptance because
the truth is is like what is the alternative like today?

(09:34):
Right this second? You can't change what your body looks like. Right,
But again, it feels so out of reach to say
positive things about yourself. What if the first step was
again just moving through acceptance and neutral and I feel
like that's just a lot more tangible thing for us
to be able to grasp. Again, this is a process
I walk my hinds through over weeks and months. Right,
It's not just a one podcast thing, but that would

(09:56):
be kind of the blanket answer that I would give
for that.

Speaker 2 (09:59):
Yeah, and I'll close with fine, if you want to
pick yourself apart a little bit, maybe just dial it
back less, Like if you look at yourself and like
you said, you break yourself down, be like, Okay, I'm
only allowed and I'm not an expert here, I'm just
into my head of like, maybe you allow yourself three
parts you get to break down. We're previously you were

(10:20):
allowing ten give yourself me, but for that three, I
need double of what you are thankful for when it
comes to your body and the gratitude that you have
for it, or you know, everybody's circumstances are different, but
what are the different ways? Like for me, the walk
I was able to go on. My legs were a
part of that. They allowed me to do it, my

(10:42):
arms being able to hug my kids, you know, start
to look at your body that way and start to
break it down and have gratitude. So that's my challenge.

Speaker 1 (10:51):
I love it.

Speaker 2 (10:52):
I can write a handwritten note because I'm trying to
get better about doing that and sending cards to people.
And I'm able to do that because because of my hands.
And sometimes I'm like, my hands are getting old. But
then shared this before on four things like I look
down and I see my mom's hands, and my mom
is no longer with us, she passed away almost ten

(11:14):
years ago. And so I may pick apart my old hands,
but then I'm going to meet it with gratitude. Like
two things, This is how it looked like apart my
old hands. Oh, I hate this age spot look, But
then I say, but you know what, my mom had an.

Speaker 1 (11:27):
Age spot exactly like that. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:30):
Now when I look at my hands, I see her
and I think of her, and it's special and then also,
I'm thankful that my hands were able to write a
note to my niece yesterday, a handwritten note because she
really likes that, so I was able to connect to
her in that way. That's an example. I picked my part,
but then I met it with two things that I'm
thankful for about that part.

Speaker 1 (11:51):
We talked about this in Acting as If as well.
It's like meet yourself in your own doubt, meet yourself
in the suck and hold space for it, but don't
take yourself down the rabbit hole, but like let yourself
whole space. Okay, I'm having this thought about my hands,
but then it also is showing me that I could
have this thought about my hands. So it's you're not
trying to paper over it with fake positivity. Like the
example you gave was perfect and beautiful because it's an

(12:11):
example that gets people's wheels turning to find their own example, right,
or maybe just to even borrow that one because it
resonated so deeply. But again, it's not just pretending that
those thoughts aren't there. And by the way, me too,
I have body image moments that fleet in and out.
But what it's part of it is like do we
entertain them. Do we let it take us down rabbit holes?

Speaker 2 (12:32):
I think?

Speaker 1 (12:33):
I mean, I don't want to say everyone, but I'm
pretty sure everyone has something, has some sort of negative
thought going in their brains every single day. Right, It's
a matter of like, do they control us or do
we take ownership of them and steer them in a
direction that serves them, Like the reframes that Amy just gave,
but also showing you like you're so not alone in
that fight as well.

Speaker 2 (12:52):
Yeah, all right, We'll be back next week with more
questions to answer, Leanne. In the meantime, where can people
find you?

Speaker 1 (12:59):
You can find out all about how to turn off
the part of your brain obsessed with food and really
heal from the self, image and body of the struggles
that come alongside disordered eating. Rewire your brain over at
stressless eating dot com. I've peeled back the system I
teach my clients. And then you can also find out
all about me at Leannellington dot com.

Speaker 2 (13:15):
Awesome. And I am at Radio Amy on socials and
that's mostly where I am. I have Radioime dot com too,
but I haven't been updating that lately, and I could
pick myself apart for that, and I'll note that's a problem,
but I'm also just going to be like, it's fine, it's.

Speaker 1 (13:30):
Cool, Yeah, it's all good.

Speaker 2 (13:32):
I'm not gonna do I'm not going to beat myself up.

Speaker 1 (13:35):
Thank you, Lianne. And yeah, we'll see y'll next Saturday.
Bye bye
Advertise With Us

Hosts And Creators

Amy Brown

Amy Brown

Leanne Ellington

Leanne Ellington

Popular Podcasts

Stuff You Should Know

Stuff You Should Know

If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.

The Breakfast Club

The Breakfast Club

The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.