Teeth and Taxes (RE-RELEASE)

The hags discuss flossing, taxes, and the confusion of natural deodorant.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, I'm Kate Erlance, I'm Jacquelyne Novak.

Speaker 2 (00:03):
And this is poog, an ongoing conversation about wellness between
two obsessive friends.

Speaker 3 (00:08):
Two untamable intellects. This is our hobby, this is our hell.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
This is our naked desire for free products. This is poog.

Speaker 3 (00:15):
Today's topics Loolie speaking jaws proficient.

Speaker 1 (00:18):
In Excel natural Yoda.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Okay, I'm ready to say that I'm experiencing extreme jaw
pain yesterday and today and it really hurts.

Speaker 1 (00:30):
And one of my greatest fear.

Speaker 2 (00:32):
Is that I haven't probably thought about in months, but
think about it constantly, is that one day I'll have
to have the surgery where they break your jaw and
reset it.

Speaker 3 (00:41):
I haven't heard about that particular procedure.

Speaker 2 (00:43):
Okay, so they break your jaw, but why right, and
then reset it and then you look different. And I
had a family friend's son who had that surgery done,
and it's it's an imprint and imprinted me and I
carry it with me, and I constantly I fear it.
I've had jaw trouble forever and I just have ignored

(01:04):
the pain for a while. I had a bike guard
made for four hundred million dollars that my insurance wouldn't cover.
And then I took it home and immediately hurt. I
was like cool, and then I brought it back in
and they were like, oh, yeah, that's not gonna work.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
And so that was pain that I that was an
emotional It hurt.

Speaker 3 (01:21):
No, it was like it was the bottom was.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
The doctor, the dentist who I actually love, Fluccio Kim. Hello,
the dentist.

Speaker 3 (01:30):
Who his name?

Speaker 1 (01:31):
Yes? Oh sorry, is that safe for his privacy? Yeah,
I'll send a business I've sent.

Speaker 3 (01:36):
A shout out or something. I just like, it's sort
of slut tumbled.

Speaker 2 (01:39):
Into it, Lucio Kim and Glendale shout out. He completely
convinced me that I needed to floss my teeth twice
to day. Once a day is not enough because you
need to break up the bacterial cycle. You have to
every twelve hours to interrupt.

Speaker 3 (01:49):
That hugely helpful.

Speaker 2 (01:51):
And I have research now from my uncle shout out
to uncle Jeff that and this is terrifying. But also,
you know, not just power that there's serious.

Speaker 3 (02:01):
Periodontal disease in you're fata.

Speaker 2 (02:03):
I'm sorry, Okay, there's a lot of evidence now pointing
between dementia and gum health and something about the bacteria that.

Speaker 3 (02:13):
I threw myself off the building. You may still hear
my voice. It's gonna took a microphone with my name
on the floor.

Speaker 1 (02:18):
Listen.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
Let this be a sign that this is also empowering
because we can floss, right, we have the power to floss.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
They're time, There is time, and I can tell you
that because for your no, it's not too late. It's
not too late, but we need to be flossing.

Speaker 2 (02:30):
I hate to say it. I'm gonna say it again
twice a day, every twelve hours. So that's what they say. Really,
that's what you need to really break up the bacteria.

Speaker 1 (02:37):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (02:37):
I'm very excited, and I'm going to say these things
you don't forget. I want to talk about periogen, pario gen. Okay,
it's Pooh. It should be Pooh's new sponsor too. I
want to talk about the breaking of the jaw and
your belief that that surgery is coming for you, okay, because.

Speaker 1 (02:51):
I don't want to hold on to that belief.

Speaker 3 (02:53):
Your belief that I'm going to break down. Okay. I
think I generously listened and didn't interrupt as much as
I wanted to interrupt your surgery.

Speaker 1 (03:01):
Okay, so much.

Speaker 3 (03:02):
First of all, you can name one person who got
that surgery. If you did a survey, you could name
seven hundred close personal friends who have severe jaw issues. Okay, okay,
you're right, But so you're not alone for one. This
isn't You're not special here. Okay, okay, So what I
mean is I mean sorry, I don't mean in the

(03:24):
alt right.

Speaker 2 (03:24):
I know you think couldn't be friends with you if
we weren't, if you didn't that you know.

Speaker 3 (03:30):
What I mean is jaw pain is a major problem
for a lot of people, and so it's it's unlikely
to me that you're a candidate for an outrageous surgery
I've never even heard of.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
My greatest fear is that I have this.

Speaker 2 (03:44):
I just have this vision of myself on the supermarket
and I'm facing I'm facing the wall. I'm perusing let's
just say it's pasta right, and I'm looking at and
then a friend wheels by.

Speaker 1 (03:54):
They hear familiar voice. Oh it's Kate. They Kate. They
go to tap me on the shoulder. I turn around.
It is me and they go, oh, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 (04:00):
I thought you were my friend, and I go, no,
it is me, Like I just had that image and
I just want to say, this is kind of a
kind of a whoous friend.

Speaker 3 (04:08):
Kate Berlin, not you, And then I go, no, it
is me.

Speaker 1 (04:11):
I am Kate. And then they go, oh god, they go, yeah,
I probably haven't seen you in.

Speaker 3 (04:14):
Years last I have my jobs and eye and they
recognize you like you go like you do any of
your life.

Speaker 2 (04:19):
You're still doing the I cross Huh, yeah, I am
sor that's a fear, but.

Speaker 3 (04:24):
Really mean, the comedy of your various facials would transcend
a new jaw.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
Thank you, thank you.

Speaker 2 (04:29):
I don't want to have to break my face, but
I very quickly just a little kind of fun, horrifying
artifact of maybe being raised in Los Angeles is that
my parents took me to an orthodontist when I was
like it was probably like the seventh or eighth grade,
talk about the jaw stuff, and the orthodontist, you know,
had this print out of my face and he was
talking about the jaw, and then I guess he's pitched
to my parents they could squeeze in a.

Speaker 1 (04:49):
Nose job or a chin job. They were like there. Listen, listen,
we get we get her under there. We shaved down
the jaw a little.

Speaker 3 (04:56):
They truly pitched the or the organodontist pitched to do
an opting, an opt in, they.

Speaker 1 (05:03):
Could do an add on, but the chin job.

Speaker 3 (05:05):
First of all, that's not even their domain. I'm sorry,
somebody to the job. But honestly, the chins as far
as way as the nose, and I don't think they're
an e and t are they Was it.

Speaker 2 (05:13):
A nose job they pitched. I think it was a
it was a chin job. And God blest my parents,
they never took me back to that doctor.

Speaker 1 (05:19):
Good.

Speaker 3 (05:19):
Now did they tell you at the time that this
occurred a.

Speaker 1 (05:22):
Little upsettingly close to that age?

Speaker 2 (05:24):
I think I remember years later my dad kind of like,
oh my god, that orthodontis who said we should get
you a chin job or something. And I of course
was like, what do you mean? And so that was hard.

Speaker 3 (05:34):
But I remember my mother. I just want to say
about this, Okay, I remember being in the orthodontis chair. Okay,
I too went and I feel like I begged to go,
but whatever, And they first were going to correct my underboot,
no overbite, like bring the lower jaw forward a couple
millimeters right, and so to do that, they make a

(05:54):
retainer that forces me to really jut it out right
all the way under like like a full like basically
past the front teeth, right. The retainer does that to me, okay,
and then you know, and my mom's like, that's not
what her profile is going to look like, right, Okay.
My mom was like, she has a beautiful profile. I'd
like to maintain something I like to maintain that sounds

(06:16):
like me, okay, but like, I don't know. She was
just like I wanted to make sure they weren't marrying
me for this, like and it was like, no, that's it.
That's the overpronouncement for the sake of you know, retraining
the muscle, and then it's going to settle back to
a normal place. Well. The problem for with orthodontry for me,
okay is you know, they send you off when they

(06:38):
finally get the braces off, they send you off into
the world with maybe a rubber guard okay, that they
tell you to where to maintain the thing. You never
hear from them again. Okay, they make no, they don't
come back at you after a year and say how's
your guard? Do you need a new one? Okay, they
treat it whether they they act like the change is
there for life and this guard is an afterthought. And

(06:58):
guess what the very moment you leave the orthodontist Okay,
it's like I've been dying since the day I was born,
Lisa Loobe, Okay, the moment you leave the orthodontis is
the beginning of the teeth returning to their original form.

Speaker 1 (07:08):
See.

Speaker 2 (07:09):
And this brings up that you're exactly right, and it
brings up so much anxiety for me of the way
that I feel that life is so impossibly were it's
so barely held together, and like we we're never safe, right,
We're never actually held by any structure. It's like the government,
needless to say, isn't there for us? But it's like
our parents die, everyone dies, We die, our bodies break down.

(07:31):
It's like, are you absolutely kidding me? So we're all
we're doing is grasping or sliding down the cave walls.

Speaker 1 (07:41):
We're holding on. Our nails are ripping off, our skin's
ripping off.

Speaker 3 (07:44):
And then there's there's nails from previous as well, the
previous previous, Your nail popping off on someone else's nail.

Speaker 2 (07:51):
That's and then they go just flow, just fall. And
so I'm supposed to just free fall with gratitude, which
is what I've been practicing lately.

Speaker 3 (08:01):
To eternal I mean to constant deaths exactly. So I'm
supposed to free fall and be grateful on the way down.
And yet and now I'm just getting flooded with images
of paperwork and taxes. Oh well, the paperwork is it's
just the paperwork.

Speaker 2 (08:15):
And I think so much of the way I see myself,
and this is something I need to carry, This is
something I have to work on. Is like the way
that I am terminally unable to address the kind of
facts of life, of paperwork, right, of bills, of these things.
The way that that crushes my spirit in a way.
And what's so pathetic is I think and like, oh,
that crushes everyone's spirit, right, Like there's no one. Some

(08:38):
people are super are truly perverse, and they like get
off on that, or they're just or I envy them
they're able to do it. In fact, I have friends
like that. I see them and they're opening the bills
and they go, oh damn, or they go and they're
able to address it.

Speaker 1 (08:52):
It doesn't crush you.

Speaker 3 (08:53):
I heard you, okay, be one of these people to
me where you were like got to get the taxes together,
and even that sort of trope of someone even complaining
about taxes. But they're still within the realm of people
who are like handling it on time. Do you know
what I'm saying to me, it's the modal space of
resentment of the thing by which they are letting us

(09:14):
all know they are participant in it. Right, So it's
sort of tax time again.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
Sorry, because I was probably trying that on as a
way to kind of like pretend, you know, like I
wanted to see what that felt like. And by the way,
when I say, oh, tax time, I mean what that
means is I'm ignoring emails from my accountant, right that
I've delegated that to someone else, because it's almost like
I would rather I.

Speaker 1 (09:34):
Feel so inept and so unable to deal with that.
That world just.

Speaker 2 (09:37):
So terrifying to me and soul crushing that, like I'm
one of those people who would be scammed, Like I'm
one of those people that those services could bleed dry.

Speaker 3 (09:48):
You mean, like if you sign up for Turbo tax,
like gold or something not specifically them, but like whatever
turbo flash okay, meaning a ripoff or a faker, right, yeah,
I know nothing of drama attacks.

Speaker 1 (10:03):
But but but for example, did you hear that click?
I wonder if that actually popped up on the recording?

Speaker 3 (10:08):
Oh god, pure, pure microphone silence. Okay, keep going, Okay,
this is humiliating, you know when my jaw audibly cracks
okay in like Hollywood meetings? Okay, where where I where?
And this is it doesn't happen at home because I
guess I don't do the following at home, okay, which

(10:29):
is a full performative jaw drop of an expression in
response to what the young executive has said.

Speaker 1 (10:38):
They're like, we're actually developing something with Celine Dion.

Speaker 3 (10:41):
Okay, and I go, well, okay, and I do it
with such force, a loud snap. I'm truly talking about that.
Or I've almost had to acknowledge it, Okay, I mean,
is that not humiliating? Is that not a reveal of all?
Like ringing out a in a echoee room. It's my right,
and I'm only remembering it now because I in the

(11:02):
moment I push it down, right, I can't tolerate what
has just happened. So I push it down and then
I forget and then wake in the night. But anyway, anyway,
I was saying something else. I was saying toxic. Anyway,
Taxes okay, ter reflax okay, et cetera. You could get scammed,
as could I because the absolute disempowered belief okay, that
we have but our ability to navigate you know the

(11:25):
forms of our government, et cetera. Right, I mean the
physical forms, the paper forms. Right. It's my super brill
from my therapy is literally, have you seen a W nine?
Have you seen a W two? They're inscrutable and.

Speaker 2 (11:37):
By the way, and they always say they always go
h oh, don't worry, like they're made to confuse you.
Like I've had an accountant say that or someone be like,
well they make it hard, and I'm like, well, now
it's a system I definitely don't want to participate in
because I know I'm never going to understand. So why
even bother Like there's completely oh God like truly, this
is bringing up my therapy super bill.

Speaker 1 (11:54):
Okay, let's keep going, keep going.

Speaker 3 (11:56):
Wait therapy super bill, like.

Speaker 2 (11:57):
The super bill to admit to my insurance to be like, oh, okay,
you will cover the therapist totally, but maybe you'll cover
a certain percentage.

Speaker 3 (12:05):
That's also where they where you get where most people
it's the it's like, you know, sixty day warranty, Well,
no one's gonna send it back. They're too lazy. Okay, Okay,
it's the same principle. Well I forgot, I see this
might be I don't remember what that metaphor was connected
back to.

Speaker 1 (12:21):
Literally taxes and then it's impoweredbright.

Speaker 3 (12:23):
Oh no, but but then wait no, but there was
something the confusion, the no one will do it? Oh right,
oh no, super super okay, supervill Yes. So like that's
exactly the kind of thing. Okay. For example, me getting
my antidepressants at the medstown okay, sorry, the pharmacy, it's like, oh,
and the insurance isn't covering it because they needed prior
authorization for the new year. Blah blah blah. And it's like, well,
you know, if you save the receipt, Okay, you save

(12:45):
the receipt and you mail it in, uh huh, okay,
you can tell them what happened and blah blah blah blahlah,
just like die I once did it, would.

Speaker 1 (12:53):
Sooner write a novel.

Speaker 3 (12:55):
A novel literally because at least with the novel there's
there's no forms. Okay, it's you in a blank page. Okay,
it's direct. But the point is, once I did it,
this is what I want to say. Okay, I reject
these things profoundly. I've operated on the belief of being
behind on my taxes for years, filing extensions every year literally, okay,
every year on the tax day too.

Speaker 1 (13:15):
Isn't everyone well no, I guess not everyone does.

Speaker 3 (13:18):
Know some people that's where you start hearing about them,
like like jan one being like, better get last year's
taxes together, because see, you end the year, so technically
this starre prepairing last year's taxes, you see, I'm saying.

Speaker 2 (13:29):
And I'm like, no, I don't understand, but I'm gonna shake,
but I'm nodding. I'm going yeah, but I can't even
hear it.

Speaker 3 (13:35):
So basically, because you know, taxes in April, right, they're
about the previous year.

Speaker 2 (13:42):
And by the way, I've been hung up on that
so many times. I'm like, oh, it's last year, so and.

Speaker 1 (13:48):
Who are these so? So everyone has file cabinets?

Speaker 2 (13:51):
Is that what I'm supposed to believe everyone has really
intricate file cabinets and everyone has their labeling system and
they're making notes and they keep a ledger. Am I
supposed to have a private ledger of that I'm doing?

Speaker 1 (14:03):
And by the way, and I do panic.

Speaker 3 (14:05):
Yesterday into a little binder, or like.

Speaker 2 (14:09):
Last night, I emailed a little job that I convinced
myself I hadn't been paid for. And I emailed and
I was like, I was pissed, right, it was like
nine pm.

Speaker 1 (14:16):
I was like, Hi, just.

Speaker 2 (14:17):
Circling back on this, like wanted to know. And then
and then immediately the woman responds. Immediately, the woman responds,
oh my god, we put the check in the mail.
Did you not receive it? And then I'm immediately the
full I probably did. It's not a huge amount of money,
but it's like I probably did receive it, cash it
and forgot, And so then I have to be the
one who's now bringing them angrily information where's my check?
Chances are already spent it, right, So it's like and

(14:40):
then so I respond and I go, you know, I'll
tell a check on my end.

Speaker 1 (14:43):
No I'm not. I'm not going to on my end
because what is my end? My end are piles of
hell looking in.

Speaker 3 (14:48):
The toilet for a pile of mail.

Speaker 2 (14:50):
By the way, brochures, you buy something the brochure, where
do you put that? Well?

Speaker 3 (14:53):
Manuals?

Speaker 1 (14:54):
No, I have a handful of this manuals. The manual
clients throw away the whole appliance. I would soon to
throw away the whole appliance.

Speaker 3 (15:01):
What about the box of the appliance?

Speaker 2 (15:02):
People breaking down boxes that some people that have the
strength to break down box.

Speaker 3 (15:06):
I'm sorry, okay, but Chris, he breaks down the boxes
around here, and it's it takes a courage in a
fortitude I don't understand. The best I can do is
pile boxes inside of each other like a Russian doll.
That to me is containment. Okay, wait, wait, wait, I
want to trace this back because there was a lot.

Speaker 1 (15:23):
Sorry, yeah, there's a lot.

Speaker 3 (15:24):
Yeah no, And I was loving it all. They were
all rich sources. There were meals and one of them
is gonna spoil on me again.

Speaker 2 (15:29):
I'm overheating in my fleece because iways want to quickly
say that this is a fleece, a J Crew fleece
that I chipped my tooth.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
I have a chip tooth because of his fleece. I'll
just say quickly. It was on sale and I was
so excited. Was half off?

Speaker 2 (15:43):
I ran over to John Early, who was in the store.
It was hanging off the hanger and I was holding
up the fleece shaking with joy because it was half
off the yep, I said, I said, half off, bitch,
And then at that moment, one of the wooden, heavy
duty yes, sides of the hanger came fling out of
the fleece, knocked me right in the tooth and a
very small chip and I'm fine, I still have it.

(16:04):
I mean it's barely there. It's a tiny little ruffle
that's gone. But I chipped my tooth. I chipped my tooth.

Speaker 3 (16:10):
But I'm sorry, And I know people don't understand my
name for certain details. Okay, was the hangar.

Speaker 2 (16:14):
Wouldn't, Yes, yes, I believe it would.

Speaker 3 (16:18):
It wasn't by chance, the one at the front of
the rack, which is the talking about where it's like
suspended shoulders. I'm literally I'm controlling myself from getting up
and getting one that I recently acquired. Okay, because I'm
I know and it's I know, it's radio. I want
the people know it's And by the way, Kate and

(16:38):
I and our producer editor Theta, we call this radio. Okay,
this is terrestrial radio.

Speaker 1 (16:44):
This is okay, this is radio.

Speaker 3 (16:47):
Okay. Don't you love the term terrestrial radio. It's a
thrilling because it flies through the air.

Speaker 1 (16:50):
Of course it's beautiful. I interrupted you.

Speaker 3 (16:53):
Clear about how I am the same as you, okay, okay,
but some of the times that I've transcended it okay
to please. So for me, you know, years and years
and years, the way my mind works to get anything done,
I cannot you know, no balance for me, no shifting activities.
So it is it is. I have to put a
side taxes okay, and file extensions, but then not pay.
Then I've often not paid the extensions okay. So it's

(17:14):
this weird thing where the woman who was helping me
out was like, you know, okay, so every two months
you print out a voucher, okay, write a check and
send it. What every three I'm supposed to remember three
months later that's something oil change.

Speaker 1 (17:27):
Who's getting their oil change?

Speaker 3 (17:28):
So that's one of the utter laughs.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
My car has had the light on first scheduled main
and it's like, fuck off, are you kidding me?

Speaker 1 (17:36):
People are driving their cars. I'm fixing them on.

Speaker 3 (17:39):
This and a lot of it's unspoken, okay. And and
I've often felt I feel to uh not a bandit betrayed. Okay,
I peel trade when I find out it's like what
you when you said to me, Oh, you've been running
home and putting on your serums without telling any.

Speaker 2 (17:53):
Running home and getting that oil checks and going there.
Oh yeah, well when was your last oil check?

Speaker 1 (17:57):
Uh? In the eighties? What are you talking about?

Speaker 3 (18:00):
So?

Speaker 2 (18:01):
So hang on, So I'm supposed to be someone who goes, Oh,
let me put a reminder in my calendar to get.

Speaker 1 (18:05):
My oil checked in three months? Is that what I'm
supposed to do?

Speaker 3 (18:09):
Wait, you're joking about three months?

Speaker 1 (18:11):
It's not that often, right, I think I'm going to
look it up.

Speaker 3 (18:14):
Right, If it's any more frequent than you often, that's
a jet and the car.

Speaker 1 (18:20):
Industry is over oil change right here.

Speaker 3 (18:23):
Oh no, it's probably mile you're.

Speaker 2 (18:28):
It used to be normal to change every three thousand
miles six months. Every six months.

Speaker 3 (18:32):
Oh no, they're saying everything every six months based on
what kind of daily mileage. The numbers were falling apart
on us. Sorry, continuing, I had a boyfriend who was
really into cars, and he stuck the thing. And because
my car was probably stuck something in the in you know,
I guess the oil take whatever. He said nothing and
then he just said like you need an oil change, sweetheart.
And I was like what it was a real shock.

Speaker 1 (18:54):
Yeah, yeah, we.

Speaker 3 (18:55):
Might cut that. I don't want him acknowledged anyway. We should,
we should get to break Okay, all right, Sorry, Sorry
that stays time for the ad two little letters when
endless experience.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
Dane, We're back.

Speaker 3 (19:20):
The thing I wanted to say, Kate, okay is that
and this is just like you going to yoga class
and you're like, this is this is it? This is
this is what makes me feel great and then you know,
next day missing.

Speaker 1 (19:30):
It and then never doing it again.

Speaker 3 (19:31):
Right, So I have had these profound experiences where, you know,
so my my model has always been, ignore the taxes,
just try to survive, you know, hopefully don't get jailed, okay.
And and instead of turning to the forum, turn to
the novel and try to become a wild success so
that you could just pay enough to just pay it

(19:52):
all off. Finees included that's the fantasy. Now it's a gamble.
It's a damn gamble, and you live in fear, live
in fear. You hope it motivates you. Again. Recently, I've
been like, you know, attempting to get caught up and
boy oh boy, you know, talking about surrender, okay to
the cave. What I found was that if I focus
on trying to complete the task as hell, if I

(20:13):
sat down and just gave myself over, it was practically spiritual.
When I when I was like, I'm pretty sure, I
just went through everything I have from twenty sixteen when
I figured out how to download from Chase. No spreadsheet okay,
from Chase that has all of I say twenty sixteen,
because I only recently dealt with twenty sixteen. I'd sixteen, seventeen,

(20:35):
eighteen to eighty nineteen and was really fucked up.

Speaker 1 (20:37):
I'd be hospitalized.

Speaker 3 (20:38):
But yeah, Chase expects you to have printed that shit out.
They don't keep the files after a certain amount, so
they tossed them.

Speaker 1 (20:47):
What is the Internet isn't four?

Speaker 3 (20:48):
If not what it's the Internet? Four? Okay, it has
to go in my poppin' you know what that is,
I don't have one, No a poppin' file cabin.

Speaker 2 (20:55):
I get emails from Expensify from when I was an
assistant and I botched Expensifies.

Speaker 1 (21:01):
Oh no, no expedient, No no, no.

Speaker 3 (21:03):
No, it's expensive. And I feel terrible because the only
person I've ever heard mention it. You know why, I'm
the one who set up that system for that woman
that you were an assistant for. I'm going to set
up expensivey because I tried to use an Expensify.

Speaker 1 (21:14):
I mean me and a spreadsheet.

Speaker 3 (21:15):
I mean, I realized, are you one of these people?
Some people think a spreadsheet is graph paper? Yes, I did, Okay,
that you can write things in, you write things in,
you utilize the graph paper to organize information. A race
I've been operating for that, okay, when in fact it's
a it's a system for manipulating data. Okay. I mean,

(21:38):
I don't mean manipulating, you know, nefariously Okay, Okay, It's
it's like it's a you put the things in, you
can organize it. Okay, But I don't mean organize it
and the way you would on a sheet of graph paper.

Speaker 2 (21:51):
I just want to be honest. I'm shutting down even
just trying to keep going on out. Please, I have
shut down. I have shut down.

Speaker 3 (21:57):
No, I know you can't. I just want you to know,
like one thing I'm gonna control.

Speaker 1 (22:01):
Try.

Speaker 3 (22:02):
Yeah, So let's say I I wrote down every expense.

Speaker 1 (22:05):
I may even that word expense. I'm gone continue.

Speaker 3 (22:08):
Just try another way. Okay. I write down a bunch
of numbers in a column, and I go, what are these? Okay?
What do I spend the most on this year? Guess what?
Christ I go to the top, I click something and
it rearranges them in order of their size. Okay, that's
an example. You can't do that on graph paper without

(22:29):
mentally doing it. Do you see?

Speaker 1 (22:32):
Barely? I just like it's a it's a real mental block,
and I need to.

Speaker 3 (22:37):
By the way, have you ever written on a real am?

Speaker 1 (22:38):
I gonna have to do Ayahuasca?

Speaker 3 (22:40):
Microsoft word Suite proficient.

Speaker 1 (22:44):
Wow.

Speaker 3 (22:45):
No, I'm saying, it's like, you know, that's the thing,
like everyone lies just describe themselves as like proficient in
Excel in the entire record. So sweet, And I'm wondering
if you have because you are clearly.

Speaker 1 (22:54):
Yeah, I'm sure I lied. I mean, you've never.

Speaker 3 (22:56):
Sought out a job of that nature. Anyway we're relevant, that's.

Speaker 2 (23:00):
Personal assistant stuff where they're like and then organize. I'm like,
uh oh, and make the files. I mean I was
tasked with creating a filing system and it.

Speaker 3 (23:07):
Was wait, I have a huge I have one better
example of Excel, and I'm going to bring it. Okay,
it's easy. I'm going to keep it simple. Okay, long
list of numbers.

Speaker 2 (23:15):
It's amazing the way it feels. This is good for
me to move through, to have someone to bear for
me to.

Speaker 3 (23:21):
Move through your vocalized and.

Speaker 2 (23:23):
Visual because I get really it brings up so it's
like furially shuts me down and I feel really angry.

Speaker 3 (23:30):
What's what's wrong is that I feel you pigonoling me. Okay,
you're othering me as though I'm one of these Excel people.
I am not. I am you.

Speaker 1 (23:37):
I know that you're not the job pain steering. I
know that you're not.

Speaker 3 (23:40):
I'm you who has still feeling into the forest of
the of Excel and actually, like discovery, you have an
understanding of it, clearly, No, I have an understanding of possibility. Okay,
within it.

Speaker 2 (23:51):
Okay, do you have a filing cabinet do you have
a filing cabinet.

Speaker 1 (23:59):
No, but I have file cabot cabin.

Speaker 3 (24:02):
It's cabinet, not cabot. I said that because I think
you were used or I.

Speaker 2 (24:08):
Was deciding between file and filing.

Speaker 3 (24:11):
Oh okay, I thought I heard Cabot his cabinet. Okay, no,
but but I had to catch up. Okay, so it
is a shit show, but I had to catch up.
Whatever whatever to go, blah blah. Here's my example. Bunch
of numbers in a column. Okay, and guess what you
get to Oh you're such a fucking asshole.

Speaker 2 (24:29):
No, I'm just saying you go. I do have gentle
word to go from this morning when I woke up.
We'll get to it later.

Speaker 3 (24:36):
Here's a simple example. Okay, write a bunch of numbers
and column a.

Speaker 2 (24:40):
Even there question for you, bunch of numbers and column
What the hell are you talking about?

Speaker 3 (24:46):
What is column a? For example?

Speaker 1 (24:47):
To say, cal A was flights I took, right, like
flights that I paid for.

Speaker 2 (24:52):
Yes, so I'm in column A. I have the numbers
of all the flight Is that a number that people
do like?

Speaker 1 (24:57):
I don't even know people start?

Speaker 3 (25:00):
You don't get on the flight number?

Speaker 1 (25:03):
Hey four two six, d L two two. Okay, so
column those numbers.

Speaker 3 (25:09):
Got I'm creating a simplified, stupid example, okay. And then
you're questioning the stupidity of it. Okay, okay, but for example,
and you're the one I made about flights, I'm just
trying to give you the basics. Okay, numbers and column
A guess what you can just go and this is
a formula. And this is my great my greatest pride
in excel.

Speaker 1 (25:25):
Okay, Okay.

Speaker 3 (25:27):
You write equals sign and then you write where where
some Okay, you write you write it in any other
column you feel like it. Okay, you write some equals.
The point is, with two key commands, you can know
the total of those numbers.

Speaker 1 (25:43):
Okay, Okay, that's cool.

Speaker 3 (25:44):
Now it's not like well it's like, hey, I ever
heard of a calculator? No, okay. The point is then
you throw a number in later okay, you add another
flight you forgot about another d L okay, and it
knows and the total in the bottom automatically change.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
I should hope, so I should hope, So I sho
an hope. Technology is capable of doing that.

Speaker 1 (26:05):
But I see how that can be comfort.

Speaker 3 (26:06):
You're able to engage with that, and when your formula
is working, you're like, I'm a hacker.

Speaker 2 (26:11):
Wait wait wait, by the way, I feel like just
googling something makes you feel like a hacker.

Speaker 1 (26:16):
But listen, you're this is bringing us something I think is.

Speaker 2 (26:18):
Really finentially deeply funny, which is that years ago I
attended some seminar.

Speaker 1 (26:22):
There was some like women in finance.

Speaker 3 (26:26):
Were like, I'm going an event or what women and.

Speaker 1 (26:31):
I forget what it was called.

Speaker 2 (26:32):
It was like it was like some women were like, hey,
like this Woe's gonna come talk to us and teach
us how to take control of the money in your
lives and understand things.

Speaker 1 (26:39):
And I was like yeah. I was like, literally, okay,
I need that so desperately, so I go. This woman
was so captivating for me.

Speaker 2 (26:45):
I decided that I was going to buy whole life insurance.
It was a full scale or it's like a full
I drank the cool age so hard. I left soaring.
I was like, I was like, I am going to
have money in my I'm saving for my retirement and
I I you know, and I completely went down the
right hole with her, talked to her on the phone.

Speaker 3 (27:02):
I don't.

Speaker 1 (27:02):
I don't want to say she's a malicious person, but
I was.

Speaker 2 (27:04):
I was so captivated by the certainty in her eyes
and her little blazer that I was sure that I
could finally be in control and that.

Speaker 3 (27:12):
I was both okay.

Speaker 2 (27:15):
And so and you know what I mean, and like
I was just a small form. And then it was life insurance.
She was selling life insurance. But I couldn't quite grasp that,
and I think, And so I then called my account
and was like, okay, so I'm bringing on this woman
and I'm.

Speaker 1 (27:31):
Going to do this and they were like whoa and
they were like remember and then because I.

Speaker 3 (27:35):
Asked her on the last do you have an accountant?

Speaker 1 (27:37):
Yeah? But I asked her on the call.

Speaker 2 (27:39):
I was like, so how do you get paid? And
she was like, I get paid through empowering women. And
I was like, uh oh, you know, I had the
red flag, like uh oh. She was like, I love
to bring to let women take control of their lives
and their finances.

Speaker 1 (27:51):
And I was like, where's the fee? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (27:53):
And I was like, but the fee and she was like,
I get zero point zero that you contribute. And so
I continue to forward and go, okay, I'm going to
get this insurance, and I don't even know if I
can say it.

Speaker 1 (28:05):
I mean I went so far that.

Speaker 2 (28:06):
I literally had because to enroll in this certain kind
of insurance, they need to take blood to check for
They need to take your blood and like your piss
and your vitals to be like.

Speaker 1 (28:17):
That you're healthy.

Speaker 3 (28:18):
You still have the policy.

Speaker 1 (28:20):
Do you pay for home?

Speaker 3 (28:20):
No?

Speaker 1 (28:21):
I never did it.

Speaker 2 (28:22):
I I truly gave the piss and the blood and
then and guess what the nurse said, Well, I have
all your DNA now, which was kind of scary because
I was like, so you're gonna go spread the autochrome scene,
like why are you saying that? And then I chickened
out because I talked to my account and they're like,
you do not need to be doing that. All you
need to do is like save, like whatever, and so
but I went so far and there was a moment

(28:43):
of the certainty of where I had the golden city
on the hill of the of I understand, and I
I save and I know where the money goes, when
in reality, I hemorrhage cash on dinner and then go where.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
Go money go? And it's like lately it was the
mess platter. That's where it all went. Yeah, because you
needed to have the mess platter, and you needed you.

Speaker 3 (29:05):
Did because there's more flavor diversity in appetizers than there
is in the homogeneity of a typical meal.

Speaker 1 (29:12):
I have to remove my fleece because I'm sweating profusely.
Please do.

Speaker 2 (29:19):
Hey, by the way, I do want to understand about sweat,
and I want There's never I want you.

Speaker 1 (29:26):
There's no such thing. There's no such thing. And I'm
willing to go on air and say this. There is
no such thing as a natural deodorant that works.

Speaker 2 (29:33):
And there I said it, and I'm completely prepared to
do with the consequences. Yes, okay, you're gonna tell me here,
apply this three inch paste to your armpits.

Speaker 3 (29:41):
Okay, sure, yeah, that'll physically block it. Why do I
also put a piece of vinyl on there, tore your clothes?

Speaker 1 (29:48):
Three inch paste, that'll do it.

Speaker 2 (29:50):
I'm talking about something else, and write in I want
to know which brands brands are listening sementy dooterants. I
will do a roofless test, but I'm completely at the
and I'm turning to dub I'm going to secret.

Speaker 1 (30:03):
Oh, I lower my life expectancy. Smell, no smell.

Speaker 3 (30:07):
I'm not trying to be cute here, okay, And actually
I do have some ideas about this, but wait, Kate, Yeah,
natural deodorant is the second biggest live the twentieth and.

Speaker 1 (30:16):
Twenty first century.

Speaker 3 (30:18):
Oh oh it was calwoys and calories okayah, okay, But
so I have meaning to tell you about a product.

Speaker 1 (30:27):
Okay, great, here we go.

Speaker 3 (30:28):
I'd like okay, and I can't remember if it works.
And I'm afraid to tell what I've done to manage
the underwarp because I'm dis I cannot with the aluminums
and the whole thing.

Speaker 1 (30:38):
Okay, I just don't do it.

Speaker 3 (30:39):
Well, I don't do it, or I do something else, so.

Speaker 1 (30:42):
I do special occasion like poison deodorant.

Speaker 3 (30:45):
Right, I don't do that. I don't I want it
anywhere fucking near my pits. Okay, I really don't know.

Speaker 1 (30:49):
I'm I'm stopping.

Speaker 3 (30:51):
Huge news good. Also, the aluminum itself and I'm going
to have to look this up again, but it's something
like the aluminum and the deal odorant is actually what
causes the sweat stains. Okay, sweat itself doesn't stain sweat
mixed with the aluminums of deodorant causes stains.

Speaker 1 (31:09):
Okay, now I feel you.

Speaker 2 (31:12):
I'm just thinking sweat stains. I mean you mean standing clothes.
That's not really my issue. I've just like, I've always
been a sweater.

Speaker 3 (31:18):
This issue, okay, And I want them to understand this principle.

Speaker 1 (31:22):
Want them to have yeah, to feel heard too again.

Speaker 3 (31:24):
And I don't remember what one was, Okay, Okay, I
don't want anything on that membrane. I don't think it's saving.
Don'tday it's good.

Speaker 1 (31:32):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (31:32):
Well I did some reading, all right, I did some reading.

Speaker 1 (31:34):
I mean, well, you mean you don't want anything on
that membrane.

Speaker 3 (31:37):
Well, I don't even want to go there. I don't
want to stoke your fears. Are you joking? I mean,
the reason people don't use the poison deodorant is because
they're afraid of breast cancer.

Speaker 1 (31:43):
I know.

Speaker 2 (31:45):
But what membrane, even the underarm.

Speaker 3 (31:48):
I can go out, I will something.

Speaker 1 (31:51):
To cut in because I brought my mom. I brought
this fear.

Speaker 2 (31:54):
I kind of have to say, is there research that
the deodorant causes cancer?

Speaker 3 (32:00):
I mean absolutely not. However, we can't always wait on
the researchers to do the clinical studies. But it's your audiousness.
Ever heard of talc?

Speaker 1 (32:09):
That's true. Actually, talk's terrifying talc.

Speaker 3 (32:12):
They finally got it after forty years. They figured out
that TALC was causing cervical cancer. Okay, and there's a
massive class action lawsuit. Okay, okay, and I haven't to participate.

Speaker 2 (32:23):
Wait, I just to quickly say that I was invited
to participate in a class action lawsuit against birch Box.
Oh no, by the way, I can't have it.

Speaker 1 (32:34):
So exac did they do?

Speaker 2 (32:36):
This is New York City. I was like twenty two.
I saw birch box. Ad where was Instagram even born yet?

Speaker 1 (32:41):
I don't know? And I was like, ooh, and I
signed up like five dollars a month. I got one
of them.

Speaker 2 (32:46):
I was like, this is trash and I unsubscribed, so
I thought I probably been charged five dollars a month
since I was four.

Speaker 1 (32:52):
But like, but I got a little postcard that was
inviting me to participate. Of course I did not.

Speaker 3 (32:58):
But what was there wrong? What have they done?

Speaker 1 (33:01):
The fine print was too fine. I didn't go that far.

Speaker 3 (33:03):
But I do even want to see how you've been
fucking fucked. You know, like the box was poisoned if
you touched.

Speaker 2 (33:09):
It once poison It was something like they weren't sending
out the boxes or something that.

Speaker 3 (33:14):
But jodoran oh, yeah, the Yodor, And I was going
to tell you about. So I did some research, okay,
and it's like, what's boh blah blah blah. It's the
bacteria feeding on the sweat et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Okay, sure,
So however, we know that violently attacking bacteria, trying to
strip it away, okay, causes problems, causes more. You know,
this is the age of the microbiome.

Speaker 1 (33:35):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (33:35):
We don't pour bleach down our stomach to get rid
of you know, we know we need a healthy amount.
That's how we do it. Okay, But the only way
to get rid of the are you googling?

Speaker 1 (33:45):
No, my hands are right here.

Speaker 3 (33:48):
It was the eyes had fallen to a place where
I felt like I was. I'm like, I don't think
I'm on the bottom left of her screen.

Speaker 1 (33:54):
You are, by the way, the bottom left.

Speaker 3 (33:56):
No good, that's why I need to go Okay, So
it's the bacteria that causes the bo if I've let
it go, and I'm like, particularly stress sweating while working,
there's a very particular meeting and or like hardcore writing
and stress that I swear this what's different. I'm like,
oh God, there it is. I stink and it's particularly

(34:16):
because I'm not like that much of a sweater. Okay,
now when that happens, what I've taken to it. And
I'm sure I'll get wrong for this. Okay, I'm sure
they'll come after me. Neo fucking sporn, pop it on,
fucking take the bacteria out. It's gone. And then I
follow up with something I found online island. I'll have
to find the exact product, probiotic deodorant. That's right, you're

(34:40):
putting bacteria on the surface, so that's a healthy surface.
Because I read a study. Okay, No, that's not true.
That's a lie. I read an article. I read a
forum post, okay, that they were able to cure some
people's bio by transferring the beat or the transferring the
sweat and bacteria from some one without bo's under arms

(35:02):
to the under arms of the person BO, introducing the
kind of good, healthy bacteria of that other person's microbiome.

Speaker 2 (35:09):
Can you do that with a friend, scrape it off.
It's got to be a different way. It's that's like
fecal implant. That's like they take the ship from somebody
with a healthy exactly k to retrain unb.

Speaker 3 (35:22):
Probotical deodorant by Island deodorant.

Speaker 2 (35:25):
I think it's called send me the link or actually
high just send me the stuff island neil sporn. How
often you put a neosporn on your pit?

Speaker 3 (35:33):
Very rare, Okay, because what I'm doing is I'm removing
bacteria to replace with good bacteria. So I don't think
it's a perfect solution like dooder at home, get out
of here, Okay. I take three baths.

Speaker 1 (35:43):
A day, Okay, I know I love to be I mean.

Speaker 3 (35:45):
At this point quarantine literally I am, I am two plus,
I'm two plus, I'm one to two a day now.
The second bath because daylight bath love, real rejection of
the world as it turns. Okay, yeah, nighttime bath of course,
you know traditional euroticism whatever, Okay, you know of the

(36:05):
evening bath. I mean, I mean we all yearn to
be the detective off duty, you know, putting the crime
scene photos aside and sinking into the.

Speaker 2 (36:13):
Bath and then and then and then you realize and
you jump out of the bath and you go sliding
around the apartment looking for the phone, and then then
the library. They couldn't have been there between four and
eight because the library is closed out on Eastern.

Speaker 3 (36:27):
Well, the implication by television that you know that the
final clue is always revealed through you know, the BT
story needs to go obviously with your peanut butter cookie recipes, Jesus,
I'm trying to solve a case. Well, they're really good.
You should have a bit. What did you say that
if you crush the peanuts? First, I gotta go where

(36:51):
are you going? I guess all the second myself, then
says the person the button at the end of the scene.

Speaker 1 (36:57):
Oh my god, that's so funny.

Speaker 3 (37:01):
Too many aka ad, We're going to add stole kids.

Speaker 2 (37:13):
Welcome back to p double og. That's Pede double og.

Speaker 3 (37:17):
I do want to talk about periogen okay, and and
again classic case didn't get the cash first, you know,
this is just authentic pray for the cash after pray
for the thank you cat product.

Speaker 1 (37:28):
I thought it was a disease.

Speaker 3 (37:30):
No perio dent titus periodontal disease ET cetera, et cetera. Yeah, no,
Actually it's a classic case e RaSE oh right, right,
saying with the name of the doctor is the name
of the So I mean, I've brought this up one
thousand times in my life. I've probably said it on pood.
But how I resent that anal retentive gets shortened to
anal because they're not being anal. They're being you know,

(37:53):
retent attentive, right right, right right, yeah, not being anus
like yeah, yeah, they're being like an overly tight aus
that can't relax. Anal was never the issue anyway, so whatever,
you get it, all right, So periogen, Okay, I really
struggle with brushing my teeth. I don't like it. Okay,

(38:13):
I don't like doing it. Now, if I could take
them all out individually, play some boiling water, strub them
by hand, that's a great dream, and screw them back in,
that's a dream. Technically it's tenters, but.

Speaker 1 (38:24):
You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 3 (38:24):
Okay, okay, but okay, However, I think part of the
reason that I don't.

Speaker 1 (38:28):
Enjoy it much more labor intense, but it.

Speaker 3 (38:30):
Would be complete. I think the inherent incomplete feeling of
brushing one's teeth makes it unsatisfying to me because I
don't truly know when I'm done three minutes get it out.
I like savory delights. My I had a cat who
had a you know, beef flavored toothpaste, Right, isn't that sweet?
And I'm like, where's my pete toothpaste? The assumption that

(38:55):
we want whatever anyway. So, and I've been really struggling
because I've been depleted in the last couple weeks, and
so I've been really Like last night, I yelled, I'm
in no mood to brush my teeth, but I'm going
to go do it anyway, and stomped up the stairwell. Okay,
I mean, and this relates to the taxes and actually
an archetype that I think you and me both might
suffer from. Okay, the Forever Child. I was reading about
it my New Wild Unknown Archetypes card decks sensational someone

(39:19):
actually a Pooh listener recommended it under one of our
episode things. Anyway, I got it immediately click purchase. The
Forever Child doesn't want to do the taxes, et cetera.
You and me The light side of that archetype okay,
brings joy see that there's more to life than than
teeth and taxes. Yeah, yeah, and that's great, and we
bring light in okay, bring light and joy and whatever.

(39:41):
You know, the dark side of the Forever Child is
kind of a refusal to deal with shit that they
should be dealing with. And thus, you know, it can
be dependent on others and blah blah all sorts of
things can be irritating to others. But I was like me
and Kate, really this is you know, and I what
I believe is nice about Pooh is that we be
the forever child. We animate the light side of the
forever Child, and we level in the in the in

(40:01):
the joy of the humiliation of the dark side.

Speaker 1 (40:04):
That's what I feel like. Might is my life's work.

Speaker 3 (40:05):
Right now, really growing up or whatever taxes. Well, we
will be talking about Clara Pink Colsties eventually talk about
what Clarissa pinkcol istes akcpe, author of Women Around with
the Wolves and so much more.

Speaker 1 (40:17):
Wish I, of course, just like a rather bitch in town.

Speaker 3 (40:20):
Yeah, I truly read it. I just want to say
that because.

Speaker 1 (40:24):
I'm going to denegrate it.

Speaker 3 (40:25):
It's real, so I can't. I've always thought it was
a grotesque embarrassment on the part of consumer brands in
general that we we still have to you know, hal Hall,
that we still have to manually exfoliate our teeth basically, okay,
rightetic it does seem ridiculous, like, oh, we used to
wash our hair by rubbing a stone on our head

(40:47):
or whatever, and then we figured out shampoo. We forgot
to way do it chemicalid people, Okay, and then here
we are with our teeth still manually scraping.

Speaker 1 (40:54):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (40:55):
So I did some research and I found a thing
called periogen. Okay, it's it's a extreme water softener. Is
technically how it works. You dissolve it in water. You
either you know.

Speaker 1 (41:05):
Water with it, or you swish it around.

Speaker 3 (41:09):
True innovation. It's the first thing of its kind. Swish
it around. It actually breaks down black tartar. Okay, it
actually breaks it down over time.

Speaker 1 (41:20):
Oh my god, I've seen this.

Speaker 3 (41:21):
You may have seen it because I have promoted it.
It's the only thing that potentially without any manual work will.

Speaker 2 (41:28):
It really seems like this is an ad But I
swear to God listeners, we do not.

Speaker 1 (41:32):
I cannot endorse, and I will say ew.

Speaker 2 (41:35):
So I'm going to before and after, but see the after, Yeah,
but before not ooh oh.

Speaker 3 (41:41):
Christ, I hate looking at this ship anyway.

Speaker 2 (41:44):
Seeah, I guess what this is all bring up for
me is actually I do like brushing my teeth or something.

Speaker 1 (41:48):
I think the ritual I love. I love grooming.

Speaker 3 (41:52):
You know, I love grooming. I spend six hours on
my face. It's not instead, No, no, no, it's not instead.
Periogen is working on the off hours.

Speaker 2 (42:00):
Seemed like a hardcore undercover Periogen. I'm just saying this
is like.

Speaker 3 (42:06):
No, I know, I know, and you know what it
brings up. It reminds me of something genius. Okay, And
my cousin told me when I was a child. Okay,
when I was going to audition for a few commercials
after a summer at camp stage door manner, all right,
I was really struggling with being like, how to say
the ads because ads are written in such like cheeseball right,
and so I remember, well my cousin said to me,

(42:28):
and I think it's genius. She was like, because she
was a young actress, She's like, when you are passionate
about a product and you're like telling your friend about it,
you do talk like that. I know it's true, Like
you are, like the thing about dentine.

Speaker 1 (42:41):
Right right, right, right, Okay, you.

Speaker 3 (42:43):
Know like I'm like, I'm like, I'm like not, I'm like,
you know how you hate brush your teeth. It's like
periogen is the one product in your medicine cabinet that
works when you're not working, you.

Speaker 1 (42:55):
Know what I mean.

Speaker 3 (42:55):
Like it's like, it's good I should let go of
the self consciousness, see like going too the ad audition
and be a thousand times subtler than I am when
I'm telling you about periogen and thus have never booked.

Speaker 1 (43:06):
And of course, oh my god, the jaw pain is
absolutely oh.

Speaker 3 (43:10):
Yeah, one time we heard jab pain. So there was
no place for me to even get in the fact
that I suffer a major jaw life. Okay, jaw based life.
I clench. I clenched since childhood, and I since childhood.
My mother said she could hear it down the.

Speaker 1 (43:26):
Hall sign of a genius grinding in the night, thank you.

Speaker 3 (43:30):
Okay, And I have ground my I guess incisors down.
You know they could no longer pierce a wolf in
the woods. Okay, they're flattened at the bottom By the way,
I too have chipped a tooth. Would you like to
know how I did it? Because I think it's pougin.

Speaker 1 (43:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (43:48):
I feel I've bored you.

Speaker 1 (43:49):
No, I'm sorry. My jaw just really fucking hurts them
being distracted.

Speaker 3 (43:52):
I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna help you.

Speaker 1 (43:54):
I I have my face massage.

Speaker 3 (43:56):
That's not enough, Okay, which face massage?

Speaker 1 (44:00):
I've got like a skin gym, like the two balls
that you.

Speaker 3 (44:03):
Yeah, that's not doing shit for you. Okay, that's good
for skin, but that ain't doing anything for your muscle pain. Okay,
here's what you need to do. No, that's skin too, Okay.

Speaker 1 (44:13):
It also kind of goes in the muscle.

Speaker 3 (44:14):
Now yeah, yeah, but that's what I have to do.

Speaker 1 (44:17):
I have an ice roller.

Speaker 3 (44:18):
No to feeble caate. You need to lift up your
hand right now, look at your thumb, Okay, decide if
it's clean it is, and then send it into your
mouth the thumb.

Speaker 1 (44:30):
Oh yeah, massage from the inside. Yeah, yeah, I've done
that right now. I feel like my hand's not cleaned
to fully go in the mouth.

Speaker 3 (44:36):
Try it now. Okay, Oh are you squeezing from both sides?

Speaker 1 (44:41):
The muscle is so so tight.

Speaker 3 (44:45):
Ah, now go the heel's good though, move it around, yeah,
hol it around, and then the next thing and you
can do this later. Oh they're gone.

Speaker 1 (44:55):
I can't do it, They're gone. That really is so good.

Speaker 3 (44:58):
And then oh see you that there's the only child
or the whatever in you? Okay, is that you know
how to cry in an appealing way. That's one of
your gifts, like you've always like, oh, not appealing. Appealing
is not the word, but like you're able to project
a babyism. I think it serves you. Hmmm, yeah, okay,

(45:23):
get the other side too.

Speaker 1 (45:24):
Oh the other song feels fine though, it's just this
side interesting.

Speaker 3 (45:28):
And then you know my fantasy is.

Speaker 1 (45:30):
Oh god, hand flavor in the mouth.

Speaker 3 (45:33):
Yeah, well, you know you have to do you have
to keep moistening your own mouth with your own saliva
while you're doing it so it doesn't sort of dry
out in there, and then you're just tasting pure hand.

Speaker 1 (45:43):
I know that.

Speaker 2 (45:44):
Actually helps stack. Then that really was soothing. I'm going
to watch TV massage my mouth from the inside for
like an.

Speaker 3 (45:49):
Hour, yes, and then what else have I done that?

Speaker 1 (45:53):
Could I over massage?

Speaker 3 (45:54):
Never?

Speaker 1 (45:55):
Okay? Oh my god?

Speaker 3 (45:56):
Then sorry Scar, Oh, no, what about strokes?

Speaker 1 (46:01):
You know, because my mouth tastes like my hand, and
I just don't like that.

Speaker 3 (46:05):
I just, first of all, picture a lemon. Picture slicing
into a lemon. Okay, dragging, dragging the side of your
tongue up the open lemon. Okay, Now do the other side.

Speaker 1 (46:17):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (46:17):
Now, imagine a jar of pepper and cheeni peppers unhooked
the jar, lower your face into it, dip your tongue
in and hold it there. Okay, is it watering yet?

Speaker 1 (46:28):
It all?

Speaker 3 (46:29):
No?

Speaker 1 (46:31):
I'm fine.

Speaker 3 (46:32):
What do you taste?

Speaker 1 (46:34):
I don't want to talk about it.

Speaker 3 (46:38):
I don't want to talk about this podcast. And I
respect it. I respect it. We'll move on because you're
gonna go down a spiral. You've only been in home.
You're fine, it's.

Speaker 1 (46:49):
Just the hand. It's just like my I tasted my
hand in the has broken.

Speaker 3 (46:53):
In to say that she believes the hand flavor is
the most disgusting thing in life. How do you feel
about food hands after lunch? I always thought that was
an indignity, Okay, an indignity. Returning to the office, you're
typing and like your hand passes near your face and
you're like, oh, cool, the tuna salad from down the
street like has deeply permeated.

Speaker 1 (47:13):
I made a tune amount for lunch. I'll just say
that I.

Speaker 3 (47:15):
Eat tuna melts with a regularity that would shock you,
given the fact that I'm off bread.

Speaker 1 (47:21):
I was gonna say, what are you putting? What are
you doing? A jam base?

Speaker 3 (47:24):
No on a plate seem saying.

Speaker 1 (47:27):
Not a tune of mount in my book, But I
hear you.

Speaker 3 (47:29):
Well, yeah, I mean it's it's what do you put
it on? What's the dream? What's the ideal tune?

Speaker 1 (47:33):
Mount Sodo? Oh?

Speaker 2 (47:35):
Wow?

Speaker 3 (47:36):
The ease with which you said it revealed a food snoppery.

Speaker 1 (47:42):
I mean, I mean, I'll do ry, but no, I do.
I have an incredible tartine sourdo loaf right now.

Speaker 3 (47:48):
I know you're going to disrespect this when I say it,
and I'm furious. The English muffin, the classics and to
me English muffin tune melt.

Speaker 1 (47:55):
I'm not anti English muffin. The English muffin. I don't
purchase them.

Speaker 3 (47:58):
No, I mean I even have one in fifteen.

Speaker 2 (48:00):
I want to cinnamon raisin English muffin right now more
than I've ever wanted anything.

Speaker 3 (48:04):
Cinnamon raisin bagel combined with chive cream cheese.

Speaker 1 (48:10):
Ooh, I don't know about that.

Speaker 3 (48:11):
For me, You're a fool. You're a fool if you
don't know. Okay, welcome to Jewish cuisine.

Speaker 1 (48:16):
Okay, first of all, how dare you second?

Speaker 3 (48:19):
I had to go there? Okay, and I almost wther
earlier when you've forgotten about the existence of rye, but
then you said it.

Speaker 1 (48:25):
I could never forget rye.

Speaker 3 (48:26):
No, the combo of the sweet and the savory certainly
makes its way onto platters.

Speaker 1 (48:33):
Okay, chide, I would eat it for sure.

Speaker 3 (48:37):
Drink wine. You drink wine along with a savory meal.
Why wouldn't you have a grape with an onion. You'll
have a grape with an onion at dinner. I'm just saying,
try it. Okay, Okay, it's the kind of mistake that
some you know, it happens accidentally kind of or something. Okay,
it's perfection. I mean, it's perfection.

Speaker 2 (48:52):
I was actually thinking about getting bagels this weekend, so
it's funny you say that that was my big plan.
I was going to do a special bayel unlock Sunday
kind of thing.

Speaker 3 (49:03):
I tried to marry Noom the other night and failed
the forms. Frankly, it was the forms in a way.

Speaker 2 (49:10):
Noom's an app that's supposed to what again, Noom is,
by the way.

Speaker 1 (49:15):
I think Noom's a sponsor.

Speaker 3 (49:16):
Isn't it not a sponsor? We said no.

Speaker 1 (49:19):
We said no because we don't promote weight losses.

Speaker 3 (49:21):
We don't want to be about weight loss things. So anyway,
Noom is an app that I noticed when I was
doing my taxes, I go, what's this? What's this one
hundred and fifty dollar charge last year? Oh my god?
One night, in a panic, okay, I signed up for Noom.
I'd maid one hundred and fifty dollars for something well,

(49:44):
which is a major investment in the app world. Yeah,
that's huge, okay, the subscription of that kind. Deciding that
I was committing to something and then completely forgot. So
the other night I see some Noom ad and I go,
let me, let me look at this, because I frankly
found their number is staggering. Okay, okay, and the success
people have had, and one of their ads they act

(50:05):
like they're doing something different, and so I'm get curious
and I go, are they I look, and their claim
is that they're using cognitive behavioral therapy to completely change
your relationship to food.

Speaker 1 (50:14):
Okay, fine, all from the comfort of an app.

Speaker 3 (50:18):
Now, I actually do believe in the ability of apps
to take you through cognitive processes. Okay. I was an
early adopter of some rogue apps that have since disappeared.
I go like, I'm going to try that again. And
then I open it up and it's like, yeah, this
app no longer exists, Like whatever. So I go on
to NOOM. I go, this makes sense to me. I'm
exhausted by my food addiction experiences. Let's see maybe this

(50:40):
thing will will help me. I was so sold on
the marketing. They were like, it's CBT. And then they
go and this is the first part of their CBT.
They go like, we want you to identify the reason
you want to lose weight, okay, And I'm like and
then I was like okay. I was like okay, and
they're like, write it in here. I'm like, Jesus, I'm like,

(51:00):
all right, where the hell or the supportive questions they're
going to lead me to that answer, right, So I
just write in like belly fat, belly hatred or something
like like like, I was like I'm not fucking around,
like whatever. And then they're like it can be an
event like your wedding or something, okay, like whatever. And
then it was like, okay, you put in your goal.

(51:22):
Now you want to dig a little deeper, like what's
what's it really about? They give you three opportunities to
dig deeper without helping you cognitively figure out a way
to dig deeper. I'm lying there, and I just go,
I don't know, and I don't even know if I
want to now. I was willing to accept that and
move forward, and then I move forward. I put in
some bullshit okay, belly and then like I hate self

(51:42):
or something okay, and I wanted them to see the truth,
you know what I mean or whatever.

Speaker 2 (51:47):
I don't know if there's a person reading that live,
going oh god yeah.

Speaker 1 (51:54):
Oh.

Speaker 3 (51:55):
And then they started with like, well, just to get
you started before you even really get into it's just
a couple of tips on you know. And they started
talking about volume eating okay, and how you know a
bowl of grapes will fill you up more than a
bowl of the same amount of raisins and.

Speaker 1 (52:09):
Not true.

Speaker 3 (52:10):
I'm like, I'm like, I know, okay, And then they
started in with something that like basically endorsed carbs. Oh
they had a quiz okay, well, they said, like testing
you on your knowledge, what's your best bet for losing weight?
And they were like hey, it was like cut carbs.

Speaker 1 (52:27):
B was like connect to your local community.

Speaker 3 (52:29):
Yeah, okay D And I was just like fuck you, gush.
I clicked cut Carbs because I knew they were trying
to set me up for the fall, you know what
I mean. No, you're at noon, you can eat whatever
you want. It's not about that, okay. And it's like, well,
what if I don't want to eat carbs because I
know they fucked me.

Speaker 1 (52:45):
Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 3 (52:47):
This sucks. It was a really dark moment. And then
I was like I was so disappointed because I bought
into the promise of CBT, and if if it delivered
true CBT cognitive behavioral therapy, you know, I'd be selling
it right now so hard, and I just it disappointed me.
I felt robbed. I had to put in an email address,
I had to create a password, okay, and that takes energy. Whatever.
I'm disappointed me.

Speaker 1 (53:08):
You don't need noom, you need um.

Speaker 3 (53:12):
I need a loom and a community with which to loom.

Speaker 1 (53:18):
You don't need noom, you need you.

Speaker 2 (53:22):
I'm going about to go get into bed with a
scoop with a cup rather of Coconut Cult gelato, which
I would like a free shipment of yesterday, and I
believe actually reached out to Coconut Cult on Instagram and
I begged for free product. This is like maybe a
year ago they did nothing. This is a new call
to Coconut Cult. This is a new call.

Speaker 1 (53:42):
And guess what, I'm going to reach out again formally.
But I love the gelato. I'm gonna have Coconut Cult.

Speaker 2 (53:47):
I scream in bed, and I'm gonna watch the Heaven's
Gate doc and massage my jaw, use the.

Speaker 3 (53:51):
Thera gun on that jaw. Can't wait to discuss Heaven.
I can't wait for my vehicle to discuss Heaven's skate
with your vehicle. You'll know what that means shortly.

Speaker 1 (53:59):
Oh my God. Okay, love you, love you. That was Poog.

Speaker 2 (54:05):
If you enjoyed Poog, please subscribe, rate and review. If not,
we will press charges.