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October 13, 2020 69 mins

Cheryl’s husband Matthew Lawrence is sharing his story.

AJ has been a fan of Matthew and wants to hear every detail of growing up in the spotlight, the ups and downs of being a child actor, his partying days, and ultimately, marrying Cheryl.

We swoon at his support and love for Cheryl.

AJ gets to know everything about Matthew and Cheryl as we all listen in.

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See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I'm pretty bad. What's up, everybody? Welcome to another podcast

(00:22):
on my Heart Radio of Pretty Messed Up. I am
a J. McLean, joined by the beautiful Miss shore Berg
and share Bear. For all you guys out there, We're
gonna start making some freaking share Bear Sir, I'm telling
you I love it, I actually and then Mr Knock
Knock himself, Mr mann A Lazando. Um, so we have

(00:45):
We're going to dive right into the good stuff tonight,
you guys. We have a very special guest who hold
on wait wait wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on wait
wait wait, Okay, here we go. Anyways, I don't know
why I stupid. No, Um, I've always wanted to do
that on a microphone. No, we actually have a very
special guest that I think Cheryl should actually introduce since

(01:07):
they're my best friend, my all and one, Matthew Laurence Mignona.
And you guys probably don't know what the Mignona is,
but that's the real last name. Tell us tell us
about that, Mr Minona. Um. Okay, welcome, Yeah, good to

(01:35):
be here with you guys. I haven't seen your dance yet,
but I'm looking forward to it. It was we'll say
it's better than Yeah, it's better than dress rehearsal. Dress
rehearsal was the catastrophe. Yeah, but we rose to the occasion. Good.
I'm glad um my last name when um when we

(01:56):
were kids. We we um started in the atament industry
as actors and musicians and things, and uh uh, nobody
could pronounce them in Yona. It's spelled m I g
n O g n a the Jesus silent you like flamgon.
We're Italian. And so they said it's not really sellable.
We need to change their name because no one could

(02:18):
say it. It sounds too ethnic. We just don't don't
like it. So um. So my mom was like, okay,
well what about my dad's middle name, which was Lawrence.
So even though I wish, looking back now, I wish
they had not done that. Um. But my dad came
from a family that was trying to Americanize. They didn't
like that. They didn't teach him Italian, they didn't teach

(02:41):
him any of the old school Italian stuff. They wanted
him to be American. Um. So, my dad, until he
was probably about maybe in his maybe late thirties, early forties,
he still had that rolling around in his head that
he was about being Americanized, about being Americanized. So I
didn't get to learn Italian, and nobody knows me by
my real Italian last name, so it's interesting chose to

(03:02):
have that last name. Yeah, which that was the best
thing I wanted, man, I didn't want Lawrence. Yeah, I
was really happy with I was just touched by that
that S wanted my real last name. I thought that
was really really cool. It's interesting a lot of immigrants
went through that sort of assimilating right like to fit
in and then in some ways lost their own sort

(03:22):
of identity of where they come to, right. It's it's
totally interesting to me that, Like, I've known a lot
of people that changed their last names as well. I
know a gentleman name Um. His last name was Um,
Persian last name, but then they changed it to sound Italian,

(03:43):
which is they were going in your direction. You know.
It was funny. It took it took me and my
wife the better part of almost two years for us
to for her to get my my legal last name Um.
Because when we went to wherever you go, the courthouse

(04:05):
or whatever it was, to do all the actual paperwork,
Um the notary that did all of our paperwork. I
don't think she believed my wife when she said that
her dad's name is Perry Harry Peter Kreitis, Like, I'm
not joking, Perry Harry Peter, Perry Harry Peter Kreitis. So

(04:29):
I think I think the courthouse thought it was a joke.
So they literally would not like file the papers, so
we were not legally married, like legally legally legally married,
last name, everything, for like for almost eighteen months because
they wouldn't they wouldn't let it go through. And I
feel bad for my brother in law because he has

(04:49):
the exact same name, except you just add you just
put a junior. You just put a junior on the
end of it. Perry Harry Peter Coitas junior coretis is
Greek k A r I d I s cotis. Oh
damn too soon, bro, He's got all sorts of elitest.

(05:09):
No, no no, no, no, that's let's let's not um no.
But Matt, I I have a really something I've always
wanted to ask any child actor that started as a child,
because I started acting when I was six. Nothing ever
came of it, obviously, nowhere near the level that you
have achieved. Um, but was it was it difficult a

(05:32):
having siblings that were also doing the same thing and
be was it difficult just being young? Like was this
something that you wanted to do or was this something
that you're that your parents wanted you guys to do
or did you really truly want to do it on
your own? You know, it's it's it's a mixture of
of a few things. My um my parents were both, um,

(05:55):
very artistic people. They my mom was a school teacher,
but really she wanted to be um a singer uh
and um or in the movies or something. And um
and my dad actually had a ridiculous singing voice. He
could run all those you know, all those runs he could,
he could he just sounded. He's still even to this

(06:16):
day at seventy two, he can see you still hear it,
like wow. He actually had some serious pipes. Um So,
I think that was And and he sailed, you know,
he's sold insurance still does. Um So I think that
kind of they never went after you know, they they
that was that baby boomer period where they didn't really
go after their dreams. It was college. Like my dad

(06:37):
was the first to go to college in his school,
in his um family. Uh, So they had that underlying current.
They they wanted to be performers. So I think it
was a natural progression. When my older brother Joe, who
was first by the time he was two years old,
all of our family videos, he's grabbing the camera, singing, answering,

(07:00):
making up something, doing something. And then I kind of
started to join with him in that because it was
like we had to put on shows and Joe needed
to help her, so, you know, so and you know,
Joe was four and I was like, or Joe was
five and I was two, and so we started bonding
that way by me helping him, and um, Joe started
going on auditions, you know. And then when Joe was

(07:22):
too old, they'd be like, oh, he has a younger brother, great,
and I kind of just got I kind of fell
into it that way, like I got hired because Joe
was already kind of paving the way my older brother
and um and when when he was too old for something, man,
he's got a younger brother. Perfect. And uh And of
course at that point, my parents, because they both wanted
to do it so badly themselves, were like, yes, they

(07:42):
didn't think about the repercussions of children being thrust into
you know, a business and working you know, basically child
labor from the time paper well, from the time I
was like one or two years old, but I mean
Joe was like three or four, you know. So there
were times when I fought it, though heavily. Um, I

(08:04):
was never forced to do anything, but but there were
times like there was like I never forgot My mom
still tells a story where it was the Oscar Meyer
Weener campaign and they wanted like that three year old,
four year old face to to be the face of
this thing, and it was no, it wasn't. They came

(08:25):
up to me and I was in the waiting room
and they were like, this is it. We got you
gotta do it. And I was like, no, I don't
want to do it. And I was only two, and
I threw a fit in blue raspberries and I stormed out,
you know. So so there were times, you know, and
that went all along, like I wanted to go to
high school, so I took three years off, even though
it was really tough and probably in the long run

(08:47):
was sort of damaging to my career because of looking
back of the things I had to turn down to
go to school. Some of them, did you go to
your high school prom? I did? Yeah, yeah, absolutely I
did not. You did not? I did not? Well, I
I never actually went to physically went to high school.
I started my freshman year. I was probably about four

(09:09):
or five months into my freshman year when the group
really started to kind of take off. I didn't know that.
So I was four team when we started, basically going
into my fifteenth year, I was getting tutored. So myself
and Brian and Nick, we were all getting tutored because
when when Brian joined the band, he was a junior

(09:31):
in high school. I was a freshman, and Nick was
still in middle school. And so but I, you know,
looking down the road, I graduated a year early. But
when I went back to get my actual high school diploma,
you know, my my last name starts within M and
I was after Z. And not one single kid knew

(09:51):
to who that? Like, who the hell is this kid?
I I have not seen him for four years? Why
is he even here? I'm like, I went to your school, people,
but you never saw me have dimension your prom? Well
so you wait, no, well no, so my like I
told you share bear uh my wife for three years

(10:13):
planned my forty birthday party and kept it a secret
from me, And all she told me was I have
to wear a suit. And she knows how much I
love suits. Inserts sarcastic comment. I don't. I don't like suits.
I hate ties. I would rather wear a dress, honest
to God. But so, so we get in the car

(10:35):
and the night before, her mom had accidentally said something
about the Magic Castle, which I'm a huge magic fan.
I love I love magic. So I thought up my
mother in law dropped the bomb, and I know where
we're going now, so I I played it off. We
get in the car and we're going down the four
oh five and we're and we're getting onto the one

(10:57):
or we're about to get onto the one oh one,
and I'm thinking, okay, I know, you know, I know,
I'm just gonna play along. And then we get off
at Pico and I'm like, where the hell are we going?
And we were like in a not so good part
of town and we pull up to this just vacant
looking building and I walk up to the front door
and I see this sign that was custom made said

(11:18):
happy for Birthday, a J something something prom night and
I'm like, what the hell's And I walk in and
all all of my closest friends and family, they're all
in the cheesy tuxes with the cassages we had in
and out in Taco Bell for catering, and the cheesy
photo booth, and it was like, never will anyone top

(11:40):
that birthday? My wife now is just started playing my
fiftieth I'm like, let's hope I get there. I went.
I went the distance with it. I figured I did.
I wouldn't look like I was in high school with
gray hair, so so I did the whole and then
nobody knows you painted your nails, painted our nails black
and everything, but no one even noticed that I had

(12:03):
painted my because it's kind of expected. I guess no.
But Matt, so you know, look, I'm just gonna come
out and say it. I'm I'm a. I'm a I'm
a huge fan of you and of Joe. Um you know. Obviously,
I'm sure you had to hear though WHOA like your
entire life? Um, you know so many times. But as

(12:24):
a child actor, I was a huge, huge fan of
your of your work, Mrs Daffire. Obviously everybody one of
the one of my all time favorite films. I'm so
jealous that you got to work with the late great
Robin Williams. Mean, it's that's that's he's He's one of
my idols. I wish I could have got to meet
at some point. And i mean, hats off to you

(12:45):
forgetting to be there shot for shot with him, and
I'm sure that was an amazing experience. Um one, Yeah,
I mean, you know, you you look at people like
Robin Williams and like a lot of people that suffer
from mental health and suffer from depression and suffer from
these things, and it's like, you know, they might walk
to walk and talk to talking and to everybody else

(13:07):
in in in in the outside world, they seem happy,
go lucky, but there's a lot of demons that are
going through their head. I mean, all of us on
this podcast have dealt with it. I'm not saying you, Matthew,
but I mean myself sharing or maybe you have. I mean,
you know, but you know, like that goes back to
me asking about you know, growing up in this business.

(13:28):
I mean, did you ever, you know, kind of stray
off the path a bit or did you or were
you always on the straight and narrow or you know,
I mean, did you ever kind of yeah, I mean,
yeah I did. I did straight off the path for sure.
I UM, but I it was strange for me because
I was such in a bubble um you know that,

(13:50):
you know that bubble that you probably hit once you
guys started to get that kind of like notoriety where
you know, you're just all of a sudden, the you
can only be around a few people and then if
you go outside, you go to the market, you go anywhere.
It's it's not pannemonia masters. So I grew up in
that bubble. From the time I was about five years old.

(14:12):
I was totally in that. So I didn't know. I
went all the way to twenty years old without experiencing anything.
I didn't drink, I didn't smoke, I didn't try anything.
Um I went and then I booked a movie out
of out of the country, and um and I tried
everything for the first time, just all about three months,

(14:33):
five hours let's go exactly uh and uh, you know
I had I had a huge freak out about it.
I'll never forget. I thought, you know, I was gonna,
you know die, or I was gonna you know, I
don't know. I called my mom crying the whole thing.
You know, after that, I'll experienced them. I mean, I mean,
just the gamut. Okay, it's kind of like the egot

(14:55):
of the party world. Yeah, exactly, I mean, yeah, a lot.
I'm more than I care to speak about. Matthew. Here's
I've had front row seats to people that are in
the business, right. I've always been behind the scenes, but

(15:16):
I've had front row watching people sort of grow up
in the business, right. And what what I ended up
noticing was that at a time when people are supposed
to be developing their self esteem, you don't have to
develop self esteem right when everybody's like, care, uh is

(15:38):
this the right? You know, here's your towel, here's everyone's
catering to you, right, at a time when everyone else
is in school dealing with you know, normal things, right
and so and and then I see people without naming names,
that I would see them sort of get so much adulation.
But and then once the adulation was happening at its peak,

(16:02):
they were hidden. Not everyone went into drugs and alcohol,
but some people were dealing with depression, anxiety like that
kind of stuff. Like what levels were you dealing with
because look, I could look at you. Obviously you didn't
hit the same kind of rough pattage and you definitely yeah,
I mean, look, we we look significantly better than we did.

(16:25):
I can tell you that. But there's some there's some
photos out there that are very less flattering than what
you see right now. Like imagine this face but like
six times bigger and like nine chins um of just
bloating from too much blow looking. I guess a j

(16:45):
you were googling, but you must have. And then you're
like you're like your face was like a chipmunk. Oh no,
because yeah, because like I shocked her when I was
telling her a certain things that I found out after
I got sober the first time, like how certain drugs
bloat you. You know, obviously alcohol is gonna make you blow.
I mean that's that, that's we That's a universal knowledge

(17:08):
right there. Every season I was like, oh, I got
wasted the night before that. Yeah, I mean you know,
like for me, you know, trying to trying to get
away with murder with my freaking wife, and then I
find out after the fact that I'm allergic to potato,
which is what makes vodka and my face is breaking
out and I'm like, I don't know what you're talking about.
I didn't drink last night. I'm totally fine, and it's
all over my face. But yeah, so Matthew you said

(17:33):
it was a period of one week where you just
kind of like one three months. I was in. I
was in, Um I went from I went to Vancouver
and then I went straight to Australia and uh. Over
that whole period, I just I mean, it was. It
was one of those films that you hear about with
the producers who are doing drugs and sleeping with the

(17:54):
you know, underaged kids in the movie, and it's just
it was a crazy experience. So it was one of
those you know where not not only was I like, Okay,
I'm gonna I want to get a little dirty on
this trip. I uh, I also had you know a
bunch of adults who were willing to to uh but

(18:16):
they're willing to just and in fact enjoyed taking these
kids along for the ride. Um kids, I was well,
I wasn't under age, thank god, but there were underage kids. Yeah,
there were under age There were there were guys. But
I mean, you know, you know, the thing three months
though that's a short, really short run. But I didn't.

(18:37):
But I didn't stop. I didn't necessarily stopped there. There
were there's been other periods throughout my life. That's where
I got introduced it. That's why I got introduced to it.
Um and then um. And then when I got back,
I started going out every Wednesday night, only one night
a week, but every Wednesday night with a buddy of mine. UM.

(18:58):
And that lasted for about two years straight. And then
UM and just you'd leave it at just Wednesday night,
just Wednesday nights. Yeah, I don't think he's one of us.
They're definitely not one of us. Yeah, I did have
that experience with Well, I was gonna ask you when,
so how long? How long have you guys known each other? Since? Seven?

(19:23):
And congratulations? By the way, I'm being married. It's the
best thing in the world. It's you know, I I
honest to God, if you would have told me I've
been with my wife eleven years, but if you would
have told me eleven or twelve years ago that I
was gonna get married, I don't have a family, I
probably would have laughed in your face because I, honestly
I didn't think that that was. I didn't think that
wasn't in the stars for me. But that's also because

(19:45):
I felt like a piece of shit. And I figured,
who's gonna love me, who's gonna want to marry me,
who's gonna want to have, you know, kids with me?
I always wanted those things, but I figured, who's dumb
enough to date me? Like seriously? Like you you must
be like seriously balls or you're just as crazy as
I am. And then I find the one that's actually
the opposite, not crazy, that actually keeps me freaking grounded,

(20:08):
thank god. But let me ask you this, Matthew, so
you've never said or had to say, that's it. I
gotta stop with the drink. Yeah, yeah, with mariwant with weed?
I mean I did, I was. I was smoking a lot, Okay,
so but now once in a while you can have
a drink kind of thing. I don't drink, though, drink,

(20:34):
but alcohol um. After man, after about years old, I
literally I don't know what happened with my body or
what I can't I couldn't function afterwards, like I never
got like blacked out or anything like that from it.
But the next I mean it took me like three
or four days, but you could have like one beer
without feeling the need to continue to Yeah. Absolutely again,

(20:55):
alcohol was not my thing. So let me ask you this,
you know, because like so when I first when I
first started dating my wife, Um, she wasn't really a
drinker really at all. I mean very very rarely would
she have a drink and then she'd have two SIPs
and be done. But after I went to rehab the
first time when we were dating, she hopped on the

(21:17):
bandwagon with alan on and also decided to just cut
it out completely to be supportive of me, so to speak. Um,
you know, so my question to you is, obviously it's
different for everybody. You know, there are some couples where
ones in noore me and they can drink under you know,

(21:38):
the proper control, and they have an alcoholic significant other
who obviously they their time is done. So you know,
some couples they won't together. Others the alcoholic is totally
fine with it. My question is, like, since your amazing
wife has now gotten sober, do you still have an

(22:01):
occasional drink once in a while or do you just
say you know what, just out of respect no, or
or do you guys have that kind of a relationship
where it's like, you know what, it's fine, babe, have
a beer. It's totally for me. Honestly, it's totally fine.
I don't even I don't crave. No. Yeah, Sheryl has
been amazing. If they feel like I got like hypnotized
or something like my brain got rewired and so weird
it is. If if I thought that it was gonna

(22:22):
be in any way, shape or form um like seductive
or a whole Sheryl back in with with having a
drink or something, I wouldn't do it. But honestly, Sheryl's
pretty darn concrete with her just not interested in drinking. However,
that said, I can't remember the last time I had

(22:43):
a drink. Yeah, but like you'll have we'll have like
for your family, or you'll have a beer or yeah,
and it's not a it's not a huge deal, like
I'll get beer for everybody. Yeah, it's been You've been
pretty good with that. Just I'm done. She that day,
that day when you you told us about what you said, Okay,
that's it. I'm done. Did you same day tell Matthew

(23:05):
that's it? No, I didn't. I didn't. I think I
was like I told you. I remember on our engagement
during our engagement party, I think I had like one
shot or something, and I felt like crap about myself.
But remember I started like like my I started bringing
out into hives, like all of a sudden, like this
was right when my dad just passed away, and my
body was reacting, not reacting well to the alcohol at all.

(23:28):
I started feeling like I was burning from the inside out. Wow,
and you broke out hives and actually, like and I was.
I took pride in the fact that I'm Asian and
I never turned right when I drank, Like you wouldn't
tell as far as redness goes, but I don't know
what it was. Um, and that really scared the crap
out of me. There's an old saying in the circles

(23:50):
we run in uh that says we're allergic to alcohol
because when we drink, we break out in handcuffs. Yeah story. Yeah,
So I'm I'm curious now. This is more tongue in cheek,
but that's just because that's how I am and I
don't have a filter. So, Matt, question, since I've known

(24:13):
your wife now for the better part of two months,
it's been it's been a hootna holler, it's been a
hootinga haller. So, how is the dynamic between you guys, like,
you know, a since she's been sober, her being on
the show, her schedule, everything, Like, how's the dynamic between

(24:34):
you two? My addiction to productivity, you know, I mean,
it's because it's it's gotta it's it's obviously gotta take
a toll time to time, you know. I mean she's
constantly working. She's a she's a fucking hustler man, she's
a professional. So you know, um, well I I respect it.
Um And so whenever I have those moments where I

(24:57):
get a little frustrated about yeah, just the craziest little
thing is like when you think about it's just one
just her not being here, it's like after like five
or six hours, like I'm just living here alone now, Uh,
you know, sorry about it'd be it'd be nice. Yeah, Sorry,
it's okay, It's okay. Um, it's gonna be really nice

(25:18):
to have her back. Like I am sort of counting
down the days. Uh. It's funny, that's what my kids
are doing now, Like they're so excited that I'm on
the show and they are both my girls are obsessed
with by the way you're now Auntie Cheryl Um. After night,
we were on FaceTime during the show and my youngest
wanted to say hi to Cheryl, and because my oldest

(25:40):
wouldn't give her the phone, she like turned her face
and she refused to talk to anybody because she didn't
get to see how to Cheryl. But I'll call her separately. Yes,
I mean tonight, they love you. How how old were
you were you a child entertainer as well, so I, um, well,
I I did ballet from like four to eleven years old,

(26:03):
but then I really started, like I would say that
life of entertainment didn't start to like I competed worldwide,
so it would be like, um okay, so then it
really started here right in l A. When I moved
here and I was twenty, you got introduced the idea
the bigger world. I would imagine both of you understanding

(26:24):
the business and the rigors of of the you know,
how demanding things are, probably helps in your relationship right
where you're able to see maybe Matthew is kind of
like a little stress, You're able to talk him down
off the ledge and vice versa. I mean I'm curious. Math.
I'm curious because you know, since you're not, let's say,

(26:49):
an addict per se, and you know, some of us
here identify as that. Um, and we've all had a
pretty rough go at ship. Um, you know, dynamic wise, obviously,
this version of Cheryl is the best version possible. UM,
you know, sober happy, Well, all of us can improve.

(27:14):
But but like you know, before she got sober, like
you know, you obviously were you know, probably concerned and
probably worried and you know probably like, okay, you know,
is this a phase or is this gonna? Is this
gonna be our life together? Like I don't think we
should rewind though when we dated the first time around,
Like he has seen me, you guys, at my worst,

(27:35):
Like I don't even That's That's what I'm That's what
I'm getting at because like my wife's just not being
so gentle, just get straight. Yeah, So, I mean, obviously
you've seen a dramastic dramastic that's dramastic, hatch tag dramatic change.
You know what, dude, it's been a long week for

(27:55):
both me and Cheryl. It's like, never has it ever
taken me this want to learn a freaking dance tape.
But get back to so my point is alcoholic day. Yeah,
so how like, what what was it that kept you around?
Because I know, like my wife many many times wanted

(28:16):
to jump ship. Like, yo, if if you don't like
this is this is crazy. We're basically living two different lives.
You know, as soon as Matt, Matt fell in love
with me, as soon as he saw that I had
owned not one hanger when I first moved to l A.
Because I was just alcoholic slob and I never showered.
That's not true, okay, But the question I think for me,

(28:39):
Jay was what kept what? What kept you around? What
kept you around? Why didn't you run for the hills? Yeah?
Why don't you go get the hell out? Well, I mean,
I mean I I sort of did the first time around,
kind of That's kind of what happened? Is it? After
about a year and a little bit, I I it was,

(29:00):
it just kept kept getting worse. It was it was
now four or five in the morning, she was coming home.
It's just it was just it was just too much.
Um and uh so yeah, I ended. And here you
guys are happily married, you know, I mean, look everyone,
you know, we we let me mind you it was

(29:21):
a ten year gap run into I mean, that's what
this is actually beautiful. It's it's very poetic if you
think about it. I mean, come on, like, of all
the people that you could have bumped back into ten
years later. Yeah, obviously never truly fell out of love

(29:41):
and kind of fall back and love all over again.
And now you get married and Cheryl sober and things
are different and it's like it's it's everything that you
probably wanted then, but obviously everything happens exactly how it's
supposed to. And the second go around. Look at you guys,
I mean, you guys are Yeah, I see your face
every time we do press after the show. In her trailer,

(30:05):
the picture of you two sitting in there is the
cutest little picture. And I always try to angle the iPad,
uh so that we get that in the background, just
like you know, listen, like home away from Home. Basically,
you know, Matthew, you went you had your experience with
you know, kind of drinking here, drugging there, whatever, but

(30:27):
you never blew up in public. Like no one's ever
said bad boy Matthew the way they say bad boy
a j. So whatever you went through was was sort
of quietly privately without having to That was the big
thing for me. Yeah, is it um? And also for
my family there was never any there's nothing allowed out

(30:52):
of our like little unit nothing so um so I
everything I did, I made sure it was out of
the country or nice or in the comfort of your
own home, or in the comfort my own home, or
with people that I really trusted. And this is going
to be completely off the subject, but before we go

(31:13):
to break, I swear I hope you guys backed me
up on this. I would love to have your pops
on singing on the podcast. Dude, if we could pull
that off, talk to him, that would be dope and
like we could have like a little like being going on.

(31:33):
It would be pretty sick, dude. I know, I know
now he's like, I'm I needed this break when I
was like seventies and new fifty forty whatever you want
to call it. It's you're only as old as you feel.
I just think it would be funny, dude. That would
be amazing, very cool. Well, listen, you guys, We're gonna
take a quick break and when we come back, uh

(31:55):
more from Mr Matt Lawrence and his beautiful Miniona. Yes,
Matt Minona, uh and Renee and myself on iHeart Radio
pretty messed up. All right, you guys, we are back

(32:20):
at Heart Radio pretty messed up, um with our amazing,
amazing guest, Matt Minona. I want to say it right now,
Matthew Minona. Um, so okay, I just gotta ask, just
gotta ask. Yes, Cheryl's amazing husband. Just have to ask,
are you a fan of Dancing with the Stars, Like,

(32:41):
are you a fan of the show, like, be honest,
not not not just because your wife's on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I mean yes, I think. I think. I think every
performer deep down inside like loves that and any kind
of body expression dancing. I mean yeah, if you're if
you're an artist, I mean to go out there and
like chill, a dance is a high? Would you do

(33:03):
the show? Um? I don't think so. They've waited way
too long to ask. I get mind you like this
has been and talk to you guys, like even from
the time of day. Yeah, yeah, the first time around.
Should y. There's a reason why honestly, we had to
have chaperone's I had to when teaching him our first
dance because he would have never married me if it

(33:23):
was just me and him alone in the dance studio,
right A J. Yeah, that's kind of why I was
asking you, how is it? Let's just get Cheryl, because
let me just tell you, it's it's daffodils and roses
over here. It's it's been a hoot. No, man, I
thank you for letting me borrow your wife weekly, uh

(33:46):
to teach me. It's okay, it's okay. Yes, No, you're
no problem at all. I mean, I think what Cheryl
does better for you than barking up. But yeah, but no,
but what you this is what you do. You do
this very well, so hopefully you so hopefully by time
she gets home, you're she she's just nice and calm

(34:06):
and chill, and I'm the one getting everything, not you.
When when this show starts from from the time that
she's on until honestly a week after it's ended, two weeks,
a week after Thanksgivings, a week or two after it's ended,
it consumes her entirely, which at times is a bit

(34:28):
you know, tough, and it's a little worrying almost the times.
But then I also I understand and respect it because
I'm the same way if I get into something, I
have to remind myself to eat after thirty six hours
because I'm like gonna fall over. You know. It's that
when you throw yourself the best and and I love
that about her. Is like if we get off of
a tour, it takes me about a week to men

(34:51):
if I'm not traveling from overseas, and it's like I'm
I'm I just finished in l A last night. Like
my body I rare. I can count on one hand
how many times I've actually physically gotten sick on the road,
but because I don't have time to get sick, but
I get home, it's like I get hit with a
mac truck and I'm freaking suit for like five or

(35:13):
six days and trying to decompress. Cheryl, once you go
into Dancing with the Stars mode, you can't decompress until
the whole season is over. Until that's what you're saying. Really,
So this is you, guys, this is the reason why
Like for me, it's not it's not contemplating on if

(35:35):
I love the show, do I come back? It's because
of this, Like it's because of my personality and like
the fact that I can't um there's no such thing
as a gray area for me. And this it's like
like I feel like, um, and I don't know if
I think I'm starting to see a pattern Like that's
just like when I commit to something, whether it's like
getting a mask business out there or whatever, it's like

(35:56):
I am never stopping until it happens. Um, do very
I do understand that tunnel vision And I understand that
part like for me artistically, like you're saying for me,
I can if I if I'm in songwriting mode, that's
all I think about. Excuse all I see Like I'll

(36:17):
see magazines, I'll see I'll hear people talking. Everything's a
lyric to me. And I get that part. The part
that I think that I guess I'm asking you is
your as a choreographer, you have to be uh sort
of you have to crack the whip, right, I mean,
it's just what it It's what it is. A great
choreographer knows how to get the best out of her student,

(36:43):
you know, like a better term. But how do you
not see Matthew as this like someone that needs to
get the whip cracked on? You know what I mean? Like, hey,
what like five S eight wears my milk, you left
the covered last where is my very smoothie? Exactly? But
how do you? But that's my nature though, I mean

(37:05):
we've talked about this in therapy. We talked about how like, um,
when I expect like when I asked me to do
something like obviously our timelines are different, right, so like
I'm like, baby, can you get read? But then I
wanted it now? And then like he's like, but then
his version it's like maybe not right this second, like
he's on his way, like it's just a different pace.
But I'm very much like a live show. This is

(37:25):
this is good for me though, and this is this
is why something that for me it would come off,
um like you're saying, like the crack the whip thing,
I kind of need that. I'm I'm the opposite direction.
I will take a week two you know, procrastinate over
overthink things before I even take a little step. And

(37:48):
that has been you know, not so great in my life.
So yes, then were it makes me at least get
myself moving, Like at least I'm moving and I feel
more productive and I like the feeling. But then me
on the other hand, like and why he's good for me?
It's because it's like, not everything has to be done

(38:09):
right now. He helps you slow down. Yeah, he makes
me breathe and just enjoy more of the moment. And
you know, I do have to say in a good
way though, I have like I'm not constantly like ten
minutes early anymore. Like I'm actually pretty much like always
a few minutes late. But I'm always you know, it's okay,
Like I'm not freaking out on every other situation being
late to be bad. In your kid, she's never been late,

(38:31):
so actually this this this time, she's like, oh my god,
I'm running late. I'm like, wow, this is awesome running
late without without killing myself inside and saying that I'm
like failing. Right. No, but it's it's interesting that you mentioned,
like what you said prior to this about that whole
kind of decompression mode, like Cheryl told me a few

(38:53):
weeks ago and then brought it back up to me again,
I think last week, just in like conversation, like when
this is over for us, whenever that is, if it's
the final or if we get bounced next week, whenever
it is, don't be surprised if you go through this,
like basically like a detox, like you go through this
come down and I can't see it. But yet I

(39:17):
talked to my bandmaid who did the show five years ago,
and he's like, oh my god, she's she's she's so
spot on. He's like, dude, it took me weeks and
he's like, I figure out why I was so like
like I felt not motivated, Like what am I supposed to?
What's your purpose in life? Because you've been we have
a schedule every single day, seven days a week. Cheryl

(39:40):
A J. Calls me, I don't know what, like gate
times a day. I know. I'm so sorry, especially this week.
Oh no, no, no, no, it's amazing away. The truth
is a lot more this week. The truth is going
back to sobriety. Right, it's like being tested, like what
are you gonna do with this? In the past, what

(40:00):
we did is we open a bottle and we would
drown ourselves into not face. We would not want to
face the anxiety. We wouldn't want to face the conflict,
you know. So he would call me and I said,
you know, you at the stage now where the dance
is like not the most important part at this point,

(40:21):
it's you're facing your own sort of limits. And then,
like any other relationship that gets you know, brought comes
to a head, you have to start to reach deep
down inside to get to the next level and feel it.
You have to actually see that's right, that's right. That's
why I said to you, you know, Cheryl, like this
is almost becoming not even about the dancing. I know that,

(40:46):
I've known that. I think I don't know if I
told you this in the beginning a j but I
said to you, you know, like this is so much
more than just get the dance right. It's really like
and it's very rare, Like I had this same type
of bond with like Jack Osborne right um, and maybe
me be Rob Kardashian, but it was very temporary, but
it was like, it's more of the influence and um
of the shaping of your actual life. Like what you're

(41:07):
going to get out of this is not learning the
cha cha routine. It's about like learning the life lessons
that come along exactly. And that's why I love having
you as my partner. Because we have a lot of similarities.
We also have a lot of differences, but that's fine.
That's what makes us a good match and a great team.
And we have really been there for each other and

(41:28):
really help each other through whatever it is. It doesn't
matter if it's dance related, if it's not dance related,
and it's what's awesome about it. I truly believe that,
like people come into our lives because like I've said
this I think before, it's just like we're um. It's
just a reflection of like either a part of you
or um. Somehow it's either it works with each other,
like you know what I mean, like if you let it,

(41:49):
if you let the universe do its thing. In that sense,
I think that, um, this is way more than just
a learning how to chacha partnership. Right, So I was
just saying that, like we know how I was telling
you about your thoughts and how like your thoughts are
getting the best of you. So this is why I
used to drink you guys. So I'll never forget this.
One week I was dancing with Chad one season, I
danced with Chad o Jo Sinko, and I there was

(42:11):
something in my head and I never experienced it before.
I wasn't even like I wasn't drunk, I wasn't hungover,
but I was still when I was drinking, and I
remember messing up on my own choreography and it was
like this crazy voice in my head saying go the
other way, go the other way, and I butchered. I
butchered my own routine when I'm supposed to be there
for the celebrity. And ever since that traumatic time for me, Um,

(42:34):
I that I drank up. I drink drink way more
because I was just like, I was so scared of
that voice and I was like, what is going on?
I like self sabotaging And then like from then on,
I just felt like my career plummeted down, like it
just wasn't as good because my mental state wasn't as
good And um, just like hearing you go through this
in a way, in a certain not like in everyday life,

(42:55):
but just like you know, the show can psych you out, man.
And I was telling Justina about it tonight when she goes, Cheryl,
what do you do when you think you're going to
forget a step? And I said, You've got to stop
that voice in your head, because that's the voice that
you're believing, and you've got to just nurture it and
love it. But then you know your steps and come
on how many times have you done it right? So
this is what I mean by just like a mirror
like reflection, because it's like, this is not I totally

(43:18):
have compassion for what you know, you guys go through.
And like I told Renee and we've we've had this conversation,
it's like, you know, for me, this is the longest
I've been sober and doing it the right way and
actually wanting to be sober. So I don't have the
luxury of going out right now and getting loaded because

(43:41):
I'm stressed out about this dancer team. That's that's off,
that's off the table. Now that's not an option anymore.
I mean not yeah, it's not a viable option. So
now that my feelings are kind of coming up and
and and and they're on my sleeve, it's like, okay,
instead of running away from it, I mean, I gotta
lean into it. And I'm learning more and more every

(44:03):
week from our relationship. I'm able to apply it in
my everyday relationship, just the way that I talked to
Renee every day, even he's like, who the hell are you? Like,
what are you doing? What? What is going on? And
it's just amazing to me how how all of these
things kind of work in the same synergy, which is
just I've always I've always loved the sort of mentorship story, right.

(44:30):
I love the old French lady um Um Ballerina, you know,
seventy years old prima Ballerina kind of being extra tough
on the girl that she sees has the potential. I've
always loved that story. Right, So watching you guys go

(44:52):
through this because I feel like I'm living vicariously because
he calls me and when when there's been you know,
some conflict resolution, let's say, right, and and we grow through.
That's when we grow. You know. There's an old saying
in the circles again that we run in that says
alcoholics have the longest childhoods because we refuse to grow up, right,

(45:17):
because we would end up diving into the bottle instead
of growing, instead of growing still like, I'm still twelve
years old, I'm never growing up. I'm a freaking straight
up toys. Yeah, but let's not let's let's not confuse
childish or childlike. Yes, will be childlike for yes, we

(45:37):
want to be childlike, trying to be child Disneyland talking
about childish, Yeah, childish where we I want it when
I want it, and I want it now. That immaturity, right,
and I'm still trying to well And that's the beauty.
And we get to do it, you know, on a
daily basis. The more we talk, we get to share
our experiences. But getting back to that classic mentorment mentee

(46:03):
kind of dynamic that I think is so romantic. Like
one of my favorite scenes is true victory is victory
over oneself. So watching you guys go through this stuff
and I realized, like we talked the other day, I said,
dance is so backseat at this point with both of you.
You're both having to reach deep inside to see what

(46:26):
you guys are made of and find new levels, right
both of you, I imagine. I mean, like honestly, I don't.
I was not going to come back to the show,
you know. So it's like the way that it all
just happened. And then the plastic is timing. Yeah, no,
me too, And I think it's awesome And I think,
thank you Renee for being there for a j because seriously,
I'm not the best when it comes to No. I

(46:48):
think you're you're doing it reinforcement. I think what you're
doing is as bad as you think. I think what
you're doing is exactly what you're supposed to be doing.
And I mean, I'm trying to do my job right.
But it also means more. The meaning of it now
is not so much more about like teaching him to
become a champion when a mirrorball. It's more about like
like giving him the momentum to go ahead and let

(47:11):
his wings and fly. And okay, listen, before before we
let you go, Matt, Mushy, before we let you go, Matt,
I just have to just end with this because I'm
so beyond curious. Why reptiles. What's the deal with the
with what's the deal with the freaking petting zoo at
your house? Why reptiles? I have to know you guys

(47:34):
have to bring your kids here. I know it's it's
literally going to pegs you. That's why. That's what Cheryls
told me. So you know, I asked myself that same question.
I was born with this, this in me to love
reptiles and amphibians. I don't know, I don't have any
other explanation for it. Then, from the time my earliest
memories are the feelings of a lizard or a salamander

(47:58):
squirming through my hands, or tree frogs, or I mean
just nature in general. So um, so the reptiles, I
don't know where that comes from. It's it's something I
literally I was genetically born with. That's the only thing
I can explain that. Um. It was reinforced by what
we were talking about earlier, which is that by three

(48:20):
or four, I was already Mickey Mouse and not a
normal kid. So I even further put my um emphasis
on my relationships with the animals in my life versus
the people, because that was a real respect and a
real true love versus this. I didn't know what the
heck guy was getting from everybody exactly exactly, Matthew. The

(48:43):
This is as close is I'll ever get to be
able to tell this story. Because you guys are talking
about reptiles? So do you know how to eat a frog?
What's up? Do you know how to eat a frog?
I don't know how to eat a frog. I've never
I've never eat you. Put one little leg over this
here and one little lady, my god, um, you know,

(49:09):
only only you we're talking about reptiles. I mean you
can't wait, wait, Eryld, what did you call what did
you call the bearded dragon? What did you call it dragon?
It was blind Dragon, by the way, that was one
of my my go to nightclubs. But there were so
I'm like, are you talking about a bearded dragon? I'm like,

(49:31):
Alison Melnick, blind dragon, like that sounds like a Bruce
Lee movie, like blind Dragon like that was So that
was every two days and Friday. So that was my
my my subconscious is still back in my club nights.
So how many reptiles total do you have? Don't lie?
I'd probably have somewhere between ten and twenty right now.

(49:52):
Um no, no, no, no, no no no, I'm not
I'm not lying. I'm just multiplying as we speak. I
have I have a eating I've four four of a
breeding group for specific subspecies, Cuban bearded dragons, the Cuban tortoise. Like,
is that like a what is the cuban the Cuban Yeah,

(50:15):
he's it's like he's he's in a Cuban iguana. So
I just called him the Cuban snakes. Do you have
an I don't have snakes. No, no snakes, tortoises, um uh,
all sorts of iguanas bearded dragons now, what's the big
tortoises name again? Sherman? Is that Sherman? Yeah? Nice? Yeah,
I had a bulldog named Tank, Sherman Tank. Yeah, that's well,

(50:40):
that's my grandfather who drove a Sherman Tank gaming out
War two. Named him that that tortoise. That's exactly where
my heild it from. All right, so listen before we
let you go, we've been doing this with the last
couple of our guests. So Matthew, out of the Backstreet boys,
which one would you kiss, which would marry, and which
one would you kill? Now we should mix it up
with I can say it. I can say this because

(51:02):
I actually wanted to say this beforehand. Um. I was
a fan of your band and and particularly though your
voice for me always was like the peak of the
band by far. In fact, we had a thing. I
did a show called um Boy Meets World and we
had this thing. Okay, well but but that's not even

(51:23):
what we what what really what happened? Okay? So the
girl on the show, her name was Daniel Michelle, and
she started dating Lance Bass from in Syncs. Okay, so
we had in Sync coming to our set every day.
But the guys were all fans of the back She Boys.
So we had a dance off every Friday night that

(51:45):
in Sync would come to our show, where the boys
would do I Want It that way in front of
the audience, just to sing it to in Sync. And
it became a thing, and it became a thing so
much that we had to continue to do it because
the audience loved it so so much. Anyway, that's my
back voice. So that's amazing, dude, love it. But seriously,

(52:05):
your voice, dude, was in my opinion, you should hear
his new music. Thank you, thank you a great voice,
really really, thank you very much, and thank you. So yes,
kiss Mary kill. You gotta give us a good kiss Mary.
You got to give him three people then. Okay, okay, okay,
here we go me, Cheryl Renee kiss Mary kill. I

(52:29):
know that sounds really weird, babe, but just do it.
Just go just just yeah, Matthew, he won't stop. You
can kill me kiss Mary. It's fine. Shit, I have
to marry her. Okay, I gotta kiss one of you,
two guys, or kill one of us, or kill one

(52:50):
of you. Just it's just a show. It's just a show.
Can he kill then kiss the same person? No, man,
that's an awful I hate this game. I hate this
It's okay, just blurt it out all randomly, randomly. I
guess I gotta you can kill me, kill me, kill me. Yes,

(53:14):
trying hard, I'm trying to find us an aspect. Um.
Uh okay, I'm sorry, I gotta I gotta kill you, Reda.
I know, at least I'm sorry. I take that punk
her up. Here we go. Thank you so much, bro. Hey, no,
thanks thanks for joining us, Thank you, thank you. Thanks

(53:36):
for having me, guys. I appreciate But are we going
to get your dad on? Like? Yeah, I'd be awesome, man,
will I will call him the next couple of days.
That would be so awesome. He doesn't have to stay
on for forty minutes, but man for him to have
his will give him a ring light and everything, you know,
really quick, yes, little imprompt you maybe do it with

(53:58):
Jice reading do some freaking right. You be fantastic. Thank you, Yeah,
thank you, thanks guys. All right, you guys, we'll be
right back light guys, we are back here on iHeart

(54:28):
Radio podcast Prett Team messed up. Um. Thank you guys
for sending us all of your emails and inundating our
inboxes with your flood flotting it. Thank you so much. UM.
We have a couple of questions that we would like
to have hopefully answered, so um. This is from Christie

(54:54):
uh and her question is for the lovely Cheryl. When
you started dating your husband, were you sober? That's question one?
So the first time around or the second time around?
I'll answer both. First time around no, second time around no, okay,
And second part of the question, in what exact way

(55:16):
did he contribute to helping you stay sober? I think
it it It helped that Matt wasn't a big drinker himself, um,
And I could see on his face every time I'd
pour myself a drink, like I just felt like he
wasn't comfortable. But then also, mind you, even like when
I stopped drinking, when I decided to stop, it wasn't

(55:38):
like he was always supportive no matter what, right he
was always taking care of me. And when I stopped drinking,
he wasn't. Um, he wasn't like drinking behind my back.
Like he was very open and honest with what he
was doing or whatever. But he was also very supportive
with whatever I wanted. He never put pressure on me.
I think that is the big thing as well. I
never felt judged a job there, Matt And uh, thank

(56:03):
you Christie for your question. Okay, we have one more question.
It's from Sarah. Uh. If you guys did it Dancing
with the Stars episode where you switched partners for one episode,
which fellow Dancing with the Stars cast member would each
of you choose to partner up with? And why? Um

(56:25):
so now is this me partner? Is just partnering up
with a pro or partner pro? I think, yeah, I
think you should do a pro. I think you should
wait till after I would say the competition, I would say,
I would say, um, I would probably partner up with
listen to listen to your mentor I was either going

(56:49):
to say Artem or uh, Britt, that would be my
my top two just because Britt, you know, the whole
jazz kind the background, and for me, I think it's
something like that on a jazz dance show. I know,
but yeah, I know. And then Artem just because that's
my SpongeBob buddy right there, like Sponge, that's my SpongeBob buddy. Man,

(57:10):
that's freaky so cute. You guys, look cute together. I mean,
you would be totally you would have done a great
tango with Artem how about you are you know beards
might have caught fire touching face to Faya. Well you
have to be another celebrity, right huh. Okay, so Justina

(57:32):
that she could just she is. She goes full out,
She's a little spitfire. I love her. She reminds me
of my good friend Leah Reminy when she did the show.
Like me, I love that type of personality that she
does have. It they don't give a ship, give a ship,
and when they go out there, though they're a hundreds,
they give so much right and then they're like they

(57:52):
walk off like just like this is bullshit. Yeah, she
was fired tonight. The show was great tonight. Um, you
know obviously addressed the elephant in the room, which which
was your dress? Um because it was so big you
couldn't even sit down. Um but no, but um, honestly though,
how about that elimination though that elimination Okay, so this

(58:15):
is the scary part that was obviously shocking. I mean,
but it was not shocking when you think about it.
But it's still like you would never think Jesse mccaffine
Scharna would be eliminated this. Yeah, I was a little shocked.
You know, do you think it was justified or are
you saying no, I don't. I totally do I do now.

(58:36):
But like normally in past seasons, like you kind of
know who your finalists are going to be, and you
kind of like there's a big separation as far as
level of dancing goes, right, But now the scores are
so close. You also never see a football player in
the bottom too this early in the competition. Yeah, and
you know, just like just like carry and said, like

(58:57):
you know, they're both kind, they're both Jesse and Vernon
are are are like coming into their own now finally
starting to get kind of close and comfortable with these routines.
But you gotta let somebody go. And honestly, you've got
to vote. Everyone has to vote, because what we don't
want is God forbid moving forward, is for us to
be in the bottom too, because once you once you

(59:19):
leave it up to the judges, then they're going to
base it on off that dance whatever. You just show
them your last exactly. And so but now that the
competition is so close, it could be anybody's game. But
so the main like to think of it, like moving
forward would be just to ideally not get in that
bottom too. I hope, I hope we're But that's purely

(59:41):
all votes, right, Yeah, And where is a j at
this point compared to Nick? At this point, it was
Nick way ahead of It's it's a whole higher level. Yeah,
but like, but still you can't even compare because that
was a few seasons ago. Were totally different then, right,
I mean it's different, were different, and they're not totally different. No,

(01:00:02):
I wouldn't say totally different, but I think the competition
was different. Yeah, other competitors. Would you agree, though? And
I like, like I told you, there was almost our
first perfect score tonight. We almost had our first triple ten.
And I think I think Johnny got jipped. Okay, so
you guys we can. I thought he was gonna do it.

(01:00:24):
I really did, obviously, though. The perfect score is not
going to happen until they all believe that it should happen,
of course, And honestly, why would I don't think they'd
want to give a perfect score to a dance that's
not ballroom. This is a ballroom dance show, true, Okay,
so this next bit, we can edit it out if
both of you decide you don't want it in the podcast.
But was there a point when both of you guys

(01:00:45):
were kind of like a little multi downy kind of thing,
like during rehearsals where you guys were like both having
struggling with you know, emotions right in my right and
my right Okay, So definitely was there a point I
thinks this week, I think I think you told me, right,
I think you told me that. Cheryl at one point

(01:01:07):
said we're going to get boot off the stage or
something or Am I wrong? No, no, no, that's that's
what I was going to say. No, no, no, no, no no, no, god,
you know what, I must have dreamt that. Yeah, because
I never even used the word boo Yeah, so I
must have dreamed that would have been a fake one too,
because there that would suck you guys if without an audience,

(01:01:32):
said I said some, I said, like, look, if we
don't step it up, yeah, absolutely, you could be in
Jeffard No, I said, we know. She she was saying,
like all twos, we might get all twos. Well you
know that's a joke. No, I know, but that's not
booze two's and Booze would be about the same. No,
But I think I'm really glad there is there is

(01:01:53):
truth to all of this thought you guys like I
I am. Did I push a J extra hard this week? Absolutely,
I'm not going to deny that, and I'm not going
to deny the fact that he can do it, and
that his thoughts and his head gets in his own way.
That is a fact. And I think that he also
doesn't give himself enough credit to where he believes in himself.

(01:02:13):
So not only am I fighting the battle of with
not necessarily with AJ, but with his thoughts. I'm trying
to get this guy to do things that he's done before,
and he's not letting himself because he's not. So I'm
going to say this based on what you said, I
will say this from where I sit. I do watch
him sort of a little bit of self doubt that

(01:02:34):
creeps in, and and then when it's finally game time,
show time, he does what he everything you've been pushing
him to do. So my point is this, whatever you're doing,
even at times you probably aren't crazy about it, but
you know what you're doing, CHERYLS. So I wanted to
say you have something to ask you, Renee, because I

(01:02:56):
don't want to fight that battle every week because it's
it's also not healthy for me because I tend to
then become too emotional, right, and I need to be
able to put in like he should also put fifty in.
And I cannot wait till the life show for him
to turn it on. I feel like that's unfair to

(01:03:17):
the process and to me um, and so I don't
know how to because maybe this is the fight, though
maybe subconsciously he's not intentionally. I don't think you're you're
intentionally doing this a J. I think that it's just
the way you are as an entertainer. And I get
it because, like I told you, my coaches got mad
at me when I would do that as well, like
I would only turn it on when I need to

(01:03:38):
turn it on. But because ballroom is not what you do.
And all I keep asking for is your damn frame
that you can't walk through, right, And we would, and
I tell you, fifty percent less of like effort would
go into these long rehearsals. We would be able to
rehearse half the time if you gave me the effort
that you gave me. Uh, the last second tonight, right,
So I don't know how to what is your suggestion here, Renee?

(01:04:01):
As far as communication goes, would I tell a J
is the first and foremost thing anytime I've ever gotten
overwhelmed with anything, whatever the challenges. It could be directing
a music video on the night before I'm like, I
don't know what I'm doing. It's just fear kick creeping in. Right, Um,

(01:04:23):
I have to remember that I'm no better, no worse
than anybody else on the planet, and most of the
stress goes away, right. But when I live and die
by the sword, when I'm feeling like if I don't
do well, it's like waiting, It's like waiting for bad

(01:04:45):
news from the oncologist right where ye Well, it's like
I have to remind myself or sometimes remind you to
a j where it's like, look, you're not waiting to
see if the oncologist is telling you if you have cancer.
But in our mind, we put so much pressure on
ourselves that we end up acting as if right, that's right.

(01:05:09):
So being able to just say, the more I tell myself,
like let's say, on a big shoot with you guys
with the Backstreet Boys, I got nervous towards Like the
night before, I started getting nervous, Oh my god, if
this video sucks, but like, I'm gonna have people hating
me from around the world. That's how much I was

(01:05:30):
putting into there you go, there you go. So but
but I started going to that self doubt and I
had to get back to a place where it's like, no,
we've done all the work. We've already We've storyboarded. A
J and I did it together. We storyboarded everything that
it and and once the set happened, once we were
on the set that day, honestly, we just had so

(01:05:52):
much fun because I stopped listening to that negative voice
that made me think I'm gonna live and die depending
on the results of this particular situation. I hear you,
and honestly, just my last thought with with a J,
I said, you know, it's overwhelming to think that this
is how we have to live our lives. But if
I were to ask you to live it, like just

(01:06:13):
ninety seconds, I need you to get out of your
head for ninety seconds, then that is something that you
can achieve if you set small goals right. And I
feel like that definitely helped because this is a short term.
Like you said, it's a short term. Now, whatever we
do and grow from this experience onwards is we don't
even think about that right now. Well, here's the thing, Cheryl,

(01:06:34):
all the great performers and entertainers I've had the good
luck and fortune to meet, they all had one thing
in common, and that was perfectionism. That it's a double
ed sword, right. Perfectionism can make you go crazy because
things are never good enough because somehow, uh, great entertainers

(01:06:59):
feel that if they put on a bad show, somehow
they're bad people, you know what I mean. And being
able to separate the two, which a lot of entertainers
learned to do when they live long enough. It's like, hey,
that's what I do for a living. It's not who
I am as a person. It's not I'll just finish
up with this. I have learned a lot in this

(01:07:19):
past week, both about moving forward, how I want to
attack whatever the next obstacle is, dance or whatever it is,
and basically just you know what, Like you said, all
I'm thinking about now is ninety seconds and that's it.
And obviously the f word frame, um, you know, the

(01:07:43):
magical effort if it was a four letter word, I
would use it, but it's not. It's five. But uh,
I'm glad that the waltz is over. But I know
that that I I do know that there's gonna be
more slow dances. But I do have to say I
am really glad that, uh I. I think I learned
something valuable this past week and I'm very much appreciative

(01:08:06):
of that. From what you've helped me with and hopefully
I help you with. We make a great team, you
and I and uh I think we're going to go
a long way, you and I in life, one day
at a time. Okay, you guys, thank you guys for
tuning in for another episode of Pretty Messed Up. I

(01:08:26):
am a J. McLean Cheryl. It was really nice getting
a chance to talk to Matthew and I can see
why you guys make a great couple than you agreed.
Thank I'm happy that you guys are getting to know
him a j. Especially you obviously after talking to your
lovely wife. So we have to do a double day.

(01:08:47):
And thank you too. My happy for doing this. He
doesn't love stuff like this, so I do appreciate it. Well,
he kicked as so thank you Matthew and uh, everybody
out there, thanks for tuning in. I'm a J with
my beautiful, beautiful partner and crime Miss Cheryl Burke and
Runee Lazondo on I Heart Radio. Pretty Messed Up. Follow

(01:09:11):
Pretty Messed Up on I Heart Radio, or subscribe wherever
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